The Long Road                            By Janet L. Stickney                JanetLynn17@Hotmail.com

 

Go in peace my sisters, the road is long and sometime treacherous, but the journey is required to find the peace you seek within.

I was completely dressed for the first time in a long time, and didn't look too bad if I do say so myself. I stand 5'7" tall, weigh 135, have brown eyes and long brown hair, which I now have in a ponytail. I had on a short tan skirt with a pink shell top, pantyhose and short white heels. I was enjoying the reflection in the mirror, then decided to get a soda. I walked into the kitchen, opened the can, and had just turned to face the yard, when I saw my best friend standing at the patio door, looking right at me! There was no hiding, no running away, no denying it was me, and as I felt my heart sink into my tiny shoes, he opened the door and walked in.

My name is Jeff, I live with my mom and dad in a typical, quiet, suburb. I'm 15, and an only child. That's why Bruce knew exactly who I was. He stood there staring at me, his mouth open slightly as if he was drawing in a gasp. I had no choice but to stand there and try and look as feminine as possible, or become a clown and act like a boy in a skirt. I chose to be feminine. "You've changed" he said as I waited for the rest, you know, the derision and so on, but he asked me my name! "Jeff" I said, but he shook his head no and asked me again. "Julie" I said, not quite as sure of myself as I had been, but he didn't run out laughing, so I had nothing to lose. "Nice name. It fits you. I was going to ask if you wanted to do some slumming. Want to go?" Slumming is what we called it when we went to the mall to hang out. "The mall? With me? Are you crazy?" "The way you look, hell I almost didn't recognize you! You want to go?"

I had been out of the house exactly once, and that was for a late night walk around the block, and now Bruce wanted me to go with him to the mall! "But I…I'll go change." "Wait" he said. "Go as you are! What the hell, you look better than some of the girls we know, and besides, I'll bet that's exactly what you want to do too." How did he know that! Was it that obvious? If I went with him, there was no doubt that a lot of the kids we both knew would see me, and I certainly wasn't as sure of myself in public as I wanted, or needed to be. What if someone recognized me? His offer to go with me was very tempting, because I thought I could use him to deflect some of what the kids would say if they found out who I was. It had been a long time dream of mine to go into the mall and just shop, and now I had the chance. All I had to say was yes. He must have read my mind, because he said, "We'll tell them that it's a goof, just to see if you could do it." I stood rooted to the spot, unable to move or say anything. "You know that you look good, so why not do it…Julie?" Still scared about the very thought of being in public, Bruce then he told me to get my purse. The command in his voice was enough to tilt my common sense, and I went to my room and grabbed the small shoulder bag, returning to the kitchen. "Ready?" "No, and I'm scared as hell, but I'll do it anyway. Just stay close to me the whole time Bruce." "I will, don't worry so much!" He held the door open, and I stepped out into the daylight, dressed as a girl, for the first time. As we walked along I felt the breeze up my skirt as it swayed back and forth with each step, Bruce chattering as if it was the most normal thing in the world for his best friend to be dressed as a girl. Still, by the time we reached the mall, I was imagining all sorts of things happening to me. My internal dragons were working overtime I guess.

I owned exactly one bra and two pair of panties, so, to fit in better, and look like I belonged there, I dragged him into a lingerie store and bought six pair of panties and another bra. On the way out of the store we walked right past two girls I knew well, yet neither of them said, or gave any indication they knew who I was, which raised my confidence level a bit, but I didn't relax any. By the time we had walked past several other kids and saw no reaction, as if they knew, I was confidently walking into dress shops, other lingerie shops, and a makeup store. The woman in the makeup shop was pushy and insisted that I let her "do me", and Bruce was no help at all. "Go ahead and let her Julie! I'll wait." I didn't want to do it because that would mean that I would have to wash off all of my makeup, and some of my trace beard might show, but the woman insisted, so I gave up and let it happen. She looked at my face before she began, and if she saw some beard, she said nothing. She started with a foundation. It took her maybe twenty minutes, but when she was done and I looked in the mirror, it was obvious that I looked at least twice as good as before! "Damn Julie! You should buy that stuff and use it instead of what you're using now!" The total came to $18, which wiped me out for money, but Bruce said he had the rest of the day covered, so I bought a small amount of the makeup she had used on me.

We stopped at the canteen area and he bought us some drinks, which he had just sat on the table, when Mike and Steve sat down. "What are you doing with a fox like this Bruce? Girls like her are usually with me." Steve was an ego driven fool at best while Mike was only a little less so. Before Bruce could say anything, they got up and walked towards some girls they knew, who brushed them off then walked over and sat down with us! This was now getting very serious, and all I could do was play it out. "Hi! I'm Kelly, and this is Beth." "This is Julie. She's new around here Kelly." They looked me over, and must have decided I was okay because Beth asked Bruce to bring me over to her house! "I'm having a get together tonight Bruce, why not bring Julie along? She can meet some of the other kids." "I'll think about it Beth, and we have to check and make sure she can go. I'll call you." "Okay! Bye!" They left me holding my breath as I waited for some reaction, and when none came, Bruce started chuckling. "They never would have invited me unless they thought that you were like them Julie! Want to go?" "But this is the only outfit I have!" Spoken like a true girl. Not, I'm scared and no thanks, or are you out of your mind? No. My first thought was that I didn't have the right outfit!

"I have about $40, if you want to go tonight, I'll spring for the dress and you'll owe me." "I'll think about it" I said, but as we walked around the mall I found myself in a dress shop, just looking, and found the perfect dress. It was on sale, only $21, so I bought it. "I guess this means that we should get you home so you can change and be ready by seven." "I guess, but I'm still a bit scared about doing this Bruce." "It'll be fine. We'll stick to the goof idea if they find out, okay?" "OkayÉ but don't you dare leave me tonight!" By the time I got home, it was too late. Mom was home, and the only way in was right past her! Bruce saw the car in the drive and looked at me. "Want me to come in with you?" "I knew better and said "No, I'll do it Bruce." Call before you come over just in case." He left me standing at my front walk holding the bags with my lingerie and the dress in my hand, my purse over my shoulder. To say I was scared to death would be an understatement, but I simply couldn't stand there on the sidewalk all day, so I drew in a breath, and walked to the door, turned the handle, and went in and I saw I was right. Mom was standing right there in the kitchen, with a clear view of the door, and me. I watched as her mouth fell open, then her eyes as they went from my hair to my feet and then back before she spoke.

"You look soÉpretty! And your makeup is flawless! Come in here and let me see you!" I went in the kitchen and stood there as she looked me over carefully. "Are you going to a party or something?" It was my only chance, and I jumped on it. "Yes mother, a party, at Beth's, tonight." "I see. A costume party in June seems a bit odd, butÉ" In my heart I knew I had to tell her the truth, because there just wasn't any way to hide the six new pair of panties or the new bra I had bought, plus the dress. I was already dressed as a girl, in clothes which were not hers, which meant that I had bought on my own before now. Mom was smart enough to figure that out the minute she saw me with those bags, and certainly my makeup. "It's not a costume party mom." I let it lay there, waiting as she stared at me. "A teen party then! Well, are you going to show me what you bought?" I held out the bag with the dress in it and she uncovered it, hanging it on the cabinet door. "This is cute! What else do you have?" Panties and a new bra mother." "Let me see." I opened the bag and she pulled them all out onto the table. "At least you bought cotton, and the bra is a sizeÉ34A. That seems right for a girl your age. "What time is the party, and do you have a name other than Jeff that you're using tonight, and today?" "Julie. I use the name Julie Elizabeth, and the party is at seven." Mom said nothing at all, just looked at the clock, then told me that we had plenty of time to get me ready. "I'll do your hair for you Julie, obviously you can get ready on your own, but I have something you might be able to use, and I insist that you do." "What?" "A girdle sort of. I'll be up in a while, you go get ready."

That went nothing like I thought it would, and as I climbed the stairs I knew that I had about two hours before I had to face the next hurdleÉmy dad. I quickly stripped and filled the tub, shaving every inch of skin I could reach, then used a skin lotion. I was very careful not to mess up my makeup because I was sure I could never do it as good as the woman in the makeup shop had. In my room I pulled on a pair of the new panties, the pink ones, and just as I was about to put the bra on mom came in without knocking. In her hand she had a few items which she gave me. "This is a Basque, sometimes called a corselet. It will give you more of an hourglass shape, and this is a padded pantybrief. I hate to say this, but I used it when I was your age because I didn't have a shape either. I dug it out of my things in the basement. Let me help you get the corselet on." I wrapped it around myself and fastened the hooks, which made it snuggly tight. "This isn't so bad I thought, then mom began to pull on the laces. She pulled and I huffed, then when she was satisfied, she stood in front of me and reached into the cups of the built in bra and pulled my skin up. "Use those breastforms you made to fill out the cups, but push them under your own skin dear. It'll look as if you actually have something there." She watched as I did as she told me, and she was right! I had what appeared to be a pair of breasts! Then she handed me the pantybrief. I pulled on my pantyhose, then stepped into the pantybrief. "Now we can do your hair. Come into my room."

Mom carefully wet my hair, then started to put in some of her rollers. "I'm using a setting gel so that it will hold the curl and last all evening Julie. Pay attention how I do this." I watched as she went about putting in the rollers, then she told me to finish getting dressed. With my head packed with the rollers I felt a bit funny, but I went into my room and slipped the dress over my head and zipped it up. It was shorter than I thought it would be, but not so short that I was worried. It came to about mid thigh on me I guess. I looked in the mirror and knew that mom was right to have me wear the corselet, I did have a nice shape now, and I now had hips as well! The dress was a sleeveless black sheath dress with a square cut neckline, which, when I bent over, revealed what seemed to be my charms. Smiling I went into my closet and pulled out my only other shoes, the black heels. Brand new, I had never worn them before but they went with the dress perfectly, and as I looked in the mirror I began to see that I could look pretty good if I tried real hard.

I called mom, and she had me sit at her vanity as she took out the rollers, brushing my hair out, then trimming it here and there with her scissors. When she was done my hair looked every bit as feminine as any girl I knew. Curly down the back, fluffy on top with a pair of barrettes to hold it back on the sides. "Try this lipstick Julie, it matches your coloring a bit better I think, and besides that, you want to look hot tonight don't you?" I said nothing as I traced the bright red lipstick on. "Now some of this perfume, on your wrists, elbows, and neck, just a dab Julie." I did as she told me, then mom handed me some earrings. They were black and gold chandelier style, and would swing with every movement of my head. Then she wrapped a gold choker necklace around my neck and fastened it, and handed me her gold watch. "Let me see you now dear, stand up." I stood in front of the mirror, staring at a girl that really didn't exist! "You're quite lovely Julie, and now that we have you all dressed up and looking so pretty, tell me the truth. This is not a gag is it" I sadly shook my head no, and she sat down. "I knew that the moment you walked in the house and I saw how you were dressed. None of the clothes you had on were mine, so that means that you had bought that outfit some time before, or you could not have gone out as a girl, and that means this is not a gag you and Bruce are pulling on your friends. I just want to hear it from you Julie. Do you like dressing as a girl?" Just how could I say no, looking the way I do now? I nodded my head yes, then, "I've liked it since the first time I put on one of your dresses mom. You're right, I did buy the outfit I wore today, but it's my only one. This dress is the second one." "I see. Well you have a few minutes before Bruce gets here, lets go wait in the familyroom."

I walked behind her because I knew that dad would be there, and I needed her to save me from what I was sure would be certain death at the hands of an irate father. "Honey, this is the girl I was telling you about, Julie Elizabeth." She pulled me up to stand next to her, and dad let his eyes roam over me, until they settled on my own eyes. "Your mother understated how you look Julie. You're really quite lovely." That was not what I thought he was going to say for sure! "Your mother also tells me this is not a game for you, that you think this dressing as a girl is right for you, is she right?" I struggled for the words, and he saw that. "I asked you a question. Is this what you want? To dress as a girl?" Rather than risk speaking, I nodded my head yes. "I see. Well we'll have to make sure that you get the chance won't we?" I had no idea what he was talking about, so mom told me. "Since you like to dress as a girl, your father has decided that for the rest of the summer that's exactly what you will do. When it comes close to going back to school, we'll all decide what you should do." Just then the doorbell rang. "That will be Bruce. I'll let him in. Julie, you stay here." Dad left to answer the door.

"Does he really mean that mom? He's going to make me dress this way all summer?" "I'm afraid he does. He thinks that by making you dress as a girl every day you'll be embarrassed, afraid, or quit, then it will go away." She smiled at me and patted my shoulder. "I think he's wrong Julie. I think that you'll end up loving it even more than you do now." Just then Bruce stepped into the room, dad right behind him. "Holy Cow!" I just stood there and soaked it up as Bruce stared at me. "You kids better go now, and Bruce, you have her home by midnight, understand?" "Yes sir. By midnight." "Okay, you two have a nice evening then." Because of the way he was raised to treat women, he took my hand in his and opened the door. "Damn Julie! You look hotter than anyone I know! Obviously something happened when you got home, so just how did you manage this?" "Mom helped me get ready, and then dad said he insists that for the entire summer I'll be dressing as a girl! He did not give me a choice either! He told me that starting right now I'll dress, and be treated as a girl until school starts!" "This should be interesting summer then!" "Yah, but I'm it!" "Just go with the flow then. So far nobody knows, so don't let them find out. Just become Julie, the new girl." Then he paused and added, "I'll be here, so don't worry about it." "Right. I might get away with it as a goof tonight, but three weeks from now it won't be a goof any more Bruce." "That's true, so do what I said then." As we walked to Beth's house I noticed that he never let go of my hand, but I said nothing about it because it was kind of comforting in a way.

"You look so hot that you won't have any trouble at all Julie! Hell, you even got boobs now!" I said nothing, but smiled to myself. We reached Beth's house and he knocked on the door. Beth let us in and we all walked to the patio where I saw Kelly and a few other girls and some guys standing around. I had known every one of them since grade school, and inside, I was wondering why I was here like this. If even one of them discovered my little secret, or figured out who I was, the rest of my time in school would be hell. Nervously I waited as Bruce found us something to drink, then we sat at a table with Kelly and Janice. "God Julie! Maybe I should just leave! You look fantastic in that dress!" In my very best feminine voice, I said "Thanks Kelly, your very kind." "Hey. Bruce! You still with that hot chick?" I turned and saw Steve, Mike close behind him like a shadow. "If your brain was as big as your mouth Steve, maybe you could find a nice girl like this too." Bruce wasn't afraid of Steve even though Steve was taller and bigger, because Bruce had whupped him a few times already, and Steve wasn't about to try it again. I let my hand fall to his leg and gave it a squeeze, meaning let it go, and Bruce caught it. "A fool with a big mouth Julie, just ignore him." Kelly had sat and watched, not saying a word, but she saw me put my hand on his leg. She had been staring at me for a few moments when she asked me if she could talk to meÉalone.

Once we had moved away from the people, she put her hand on my arm. "I finally figured out who you look like, and after that thing with Steve and Bruce, now I'm sure. You're not Julie, you're Jeff Grant, but just looking at you, it's going to be hard for anyone to be sure. I am, only because I've known you for so long, and of course, Bruce. He's watching over you like a mother hen, and he isn't known for dating very much because he hangs with you and always has. Am I right? Are you really Jeff?" What now? If I denied it and she found out later it might be very bad, but if I say yes and admit it, would she tell everyone else? I split the difference. "Yes, and no Kelly. I'll be here all summer." "That's a yes!" Then her voice went lower, and she told me that she would not tell a soul. "Nobody else knows Kelly, except for Bruce of course, and I'd like to keep it that way." "As I understand it, your name is Julie. That's all I know, okay?" "Okay." At that moment Steve walked over and put his arm around me. "What are you doing with a loser like Bruce when you could be with me?" "Because I have good taste that's why, now take your arm off me or I'll scream!" "Bitch!" he muttered, and walked away. "Be careful around him Julie, he can get real nasty." I will, and thanks Kelly."

Someone started music, and to my great surprise Bruce took my hand in his and pulled me to my feet, then swept me into his arms! "I can't leave you unattended for a minute Julie, or I'll be the one all alone." I let him lead the way, and I soon found my head on his shoulder. His hand was moving up and down my back and it was making me shiver, which worried me a bit. I had no inclination towards guys, yet here I was, quivering as Bruce stroked my back! "We better sit down Bruce." I looked up just as he looked down, and he leaned a bit forward and let his lips touch mine! I was so shocked that I didn't move back and he did it again. "We better sit down Bruce" I said again, and broke away. "I have to make a visit Julie. Be back in a jiffy." The minute I sat down Beth said, "Girl, he has it bad for you!" Beth sat down next to me, smiling. "Why do you say that Beth? All he did was sneak up and kiss me!" It's in his eyes Julie. It's written all over his eyes, and his face lights up every time he looks at you!" I didn't have a clue! But then again, I'm not a girl and didn't know what to look for. "Listen, Kelly and I were wondering if you could come to her house tomorrow, about four or so." "I guess, okay" I said. "Great! See you tomorrow then." She walked off just as Bruce returned. As he sat down next to me his hand slipped to my leg and started moving up until I stopped him. I didn't move his hand, I just stopped the northward movement. "You're the prettiest girl I ever saw Julie, and I was wondering if we could go to the show on Friday night." My best friend, the one that first saw me dressed as a girl, and knew for certain that I was not a girl, was asking me out! But then I thought about what dad had said, so to tweak dad a bit, I said "yes of course, that would be nice". Steve had given up on me and had moved on to Heather, a short, kind of chunky girl that wallowed in his self adoration, as long as he paid attention to her as well. I liked Heather, most of the kids did, but her self image was a bit crazy because of her size. She had a bubbly personality and was in fact quite pretty, but she could not see all of that, and always went for the guys she could never have, or should not have. The worse part of it all was that I knew for a fact that Fred wanted to take her out more than anything. All he lacked was the courage to ask her, and he was a nice guy, not like Steve in any way.

Just after eleven Bruce and I left, but not before I told Kelly I would be over the next day. On the way back home Bruce shocked me when we reached a quiet part of the street. He suddenly stopped and swung me around, put his arm around me then kissed me, and not softly! I was so shocked that he took it as a sign of my approval, and I felt his tongue as it pushed against my lips. Lust, or maybe I was just lost in the moment, but I opened my mouth and let him invade me. As he pulled me closer I could feel him, hard against my leg, which surprised me! "Julie, you are the sexiest girl I know! Don't ever change!" "But Bruce! You know who I am, I'm your best friend! We grew up together, got into trouble together, and now this!" "Yes, and now we share this." He pulled me to him again and as he kissed me I felt my femininity rising, and surrendered to him. In my wildest dreams I never once thought that this would happen, yet here I am, wrapped tightly in my best friends arms as he's kissing me, and worse, I liked it! "We better get home Bruce. Dad might start to wonder." At the front door, knowing that my parents might see us, he kissed me again anyway before I went in.

"It looks like you've convinced Bruce, and by the way he was kissing you, I think you like it that way." Dad was standing there, just waiting for me. His face was screwed into a tight, contortion of anger, his eyes squinted, his mouth a straight line. Somehow, from some deep recess I knew I had to take his anger away, and quickly, or I would constantly be subjected to these tirades of his. "You're right dad. I like dressing as a girl, but it was a once in a while thing. You're the one that said I had to be a girl for the entire summer, and since you insisted on it, I have no intention of staying at home all of the time. If Bruce wants to take me out once in a while and maybe kiss me, I'll let him, because that way I'll be able to go with him a lot of places rather than stay here with you and listen to your tirades! It was your idea, not mine and all I'm doing is what I always did. I'm doing exactly what you told me to do." I walked past him and up to my room before he could say anything. All I could do was hope for the best, but his seeing Bruce and I kissing made it plain to him that this was more than a fad for me. Sure I was scared of what he might do, but he made the rules not me. That was my only hope now. I undressed and slipped on the nightgown mom had put on the bed, and slipped into bed. For a long time I reran first, dad's anger at me, then those kisses through my mind, trying to figure out what was going on and why Bruce felt that way about me.

I never did figure it out and eventually fell asleep. In the morning mom came in and woke me up, telling me to get dressed. I slipped on some shorts, my bra and gym shoes with the pink top again, and joined mom in the kitchen. "You shook up your father last night Julie, you do know that don't you?" I nodded my head yes. "When he saw you for the first time he was mad as hell and said some stupid things, and set some stupid rules, then later, when you let Bruce kiss you, he went ballistic. He doesn't understand and probably never will, but after what you said to him last night, and since you let Bruce kiss you, he insisted that you get your hair and nails done, "in a manner that will not let him forget his new status" to quote your father. Now I'm pretty sure that we'll get no argument from you about getting your hair and nails done, but he wants it feminine, very feminine Julie. I had to talk him out of some of his more outrageous suggestions, but he has spoken and I can't stop it, so you'll have to have your hair and nails doneÉtoday he said. Since your hair is long enough, we can go to the salon and get it done this afternoon. This morning I think we better concentrate on finding you a better breastform. Eat your breakfast, do your makeup, and we'll go." I didn't have a choice, but if dad wanted me to be feminine, I would oblige him.

All I wore was some foundation, powder and lipstick when mom and I left the house. "If you become as feminine as the girl you wanted to become, then he'll have to let up on you Julie, so I suggest that you try to be as feminine as possible at all times, including how you walk and use your hands, okay?" "Okay mom", but so many people have seen me now that I don't really have a choice any more do I?" "Not really, but then this is what you wanted isn't it?" "I guess, but I expected it to be on my terms not dad's!" "You can have it on your terms Julie, just be the girl you want to be. Take away his objections to what you're doing and make him see you as his daughter. The minute that happens you'll have him eating out of your hand, understand?" I did.

Mom drove us to a small shop not far from the house, then I followed her inside. The scent of lilac filled the air, and on the shelves I could see boxes, and a few breastforms. "Can I help you dear?" "UmÉmom?" "My daughter has a serious deficit in the boob department, and I was hoping that you could help her.' The woman carefully looked me over, then nodded her head. "Can I assume that you want the very best?" "Well, her father did say that he wanted her as feminine as possible, so yes, the best you have." "I see. Well, this will take a while, so why don't you come into the back and we can get started." Mom and I followed her into the back of the store, then she told me to take off my top and bra! "I will have to take the molds dear, so if you please." Mom made a motion with her hand, and I pulled off the top and removed the bra, one of my birdseed breastforms falling to the floor. The woman saw it and smiled. "I see a lot of those darned things, just toss it in the trash over there."

Embarrassed at her seeing my obviously male chest, I wanted to run out of the shop as fast as I could, but she took me by the hand and had me stand in a certain place. "This stuff sets up quickly, but don't move or we'll have to do it over." I stood as a dark green gel was troweled onto my chest and then smoothed out by the woman as she pushed against it and made it into what looked like a breastplate. I had to stand there for maybe twenty minutes, then she removed it carefully and inspected it. "Perfect!" Now the real work starts." I watched as she went to a shelf and pulled out several molds. "All of my special girls" like to have breasts that are bigger, and I suspect that you do too, but for a girl your size and so on, a B cup is just fine." She selected the proper mold, and after a session where she matched the latex coloring to my chest, she mixed the latex like stuff and poured it into the mold. The dark green breastplate was set over them carefully and clamped together and stuck in a small oven. "This will take about twenty minutes, would you like a coffee?" We both said no. After they were out of the oven she filled them with something, then came the fitting. In just a few minutes she had attached them to my chest, without the slightest trace of a seam anywhere! "After you have them on for a while they'll conduct body heat and be warm to the touch, and in a day or so you will be able to detect if anyone does touch them." I looked down, and then in the mirror. I almost cried I was so happy! Mom paid the bill, and we left as soon as I had my bra on, which was now tight.

"I think we have time, after you visit the salon to do some lingerie shopping Julie, so why not do that?" "Okay mom." At the salon my hair was cut and styled, my nails done, and then they also pierced my ears and put in those small plastic inserts. I now looked so feminine that I myself could hardly believe it, and I had watched it happen! "This way you don't have to worry about healing time Julie, just go ahead and change earrings as you like." We stopped for lunch and then went lingerie shopping. Walking with a bounce to my chest was so different, yet I quickly grew to love it because it only confirmed my femininity. "I think that we should make sure of your size Julie, lets go in here." In a small changing room she measured me, then told me I was a 36B. "Not bad for a girl your age Julie!" Blushing I selected several new bras from the rack, but mom only let me keep two. "These are much more practical for every day wear Julie." What she had chosen were plain Jane bras in white. Mine were all frilly and lace trimmed with smaller cups. Ah well.

After that, mom added panties, a slip, then two more skirts, three blouses, two dresses, and a suit. From there we added four more pairs of shoes, two purses, a new wallet, and an outer jacket. "You need so much Julie! Maybe we can do a little each week. All I can think of that you need right now is a jewelry box and something to put in it, shall we look for one?" An hour later I had the box, and several necklaces, two rings, and six pair of earrings. "I'll drop you off at Kelly's house Julie, just be home for dinner, or call."

Mom let me off and I walked to the door and Kelly let me in. "You had your hair done! And your nails! Come inside. Beth is out on the patio." I followed her through the house, and joined Beth at the small table. They both looked at me, then Kelly spoke up. "I'm sorry Julie, but I had to tell Beth, she's my best friend, but she won't tell a soul!" "I never had a clue it was you, but nobody else did either, so I think that we can keep this our secret." I was right on the verge of saying "don't bother", but I held off because of my dad. "Just don't broadcast it Beth, it's hard enough for me as it is now." "Why? You look as good as most girls, and nobody knows!" "Because Beth, I live in the same house, I don't have any ID, I'm not as limber or graceful as a normal girl is naturally, and I always have to be careful how I walk, use my hands, talk, sit down, and so on. Then I have my dad to worry about on top of all that! One mistake at the wrong time and I'm done for." "Hardly!" "I agree with Beth. You look pretty good for a guy dressed as a girl, and I'm willing to bet that not many people would ever guess that you're a boy under all of that. Besides, with those nails and that perm, you can make a lot of mistakes before someone would ever say your not a girl!" "A perm?" I asked. "You didn't know? I spotted that perm the minute I saw you Julie! It's not a full perm of course, probably a soft perm, but you'll have that hairdo for a long time, unless you get a crew cut!"

I listened to them because I trusted them, and in my heart I knew they were right, especially since I now had a set of boobs that were every bit as nice as theirs. Mine were fake of course, but looked so real, and now that I had worn them a while I began to feel they were real, and all mine. I looked at Kelly and smiled. "There's something else that will help, and I'll show you if you want, but not here." "Let's go to my room then!" Beth and followed her up to her bedroom, and once she closed the door I pulled up my top. My brand new breasts were clearly evident to them. "You got boobs!" I smiled and pulled my top down, and sat on the bed. They both looked at me, then at each other, and back at me. "This isn't a game for you is it Julie?" "No Kelly, it's not a game." Beth sat on the floor and Kelly at her vanity. "Want to tell us Julie?" I looked at Beth, her question full of doubt. "I've been dressing up since I was a kid. I even bought a complete outfit for myself. I had it on the first time you saw me. I always felt like I should have been a girl, but I was afraid, and kept it to myself. Bruce came over and found me dressed, and was the one to talk me into going with him to the mall, but I'll admit it didn't take much persuasion on his part. Then dad saw me and decided to make me dress as a girl all summer. I know that mom knows I like it and don't want to change back, because she told me to become the girl I always wanted to be, and maybe I would be able to change dad's mind. He's the one that insisted that I become extra feminine, so mom took me and I got these, my hair, and nails done today. I like being a girl and don't want to change back, but I'm scared all of the time and I worry about being found out, teased, hurt, or worse. Dad hates it, I'm scared and mom tries. It's not a game Kelly, and it's not fun either."

"Then we'll just have to help you become the girl you want to become then won't we?" All at once, as soon as Beth said that, I started to cry. The stress had finally caught up with me, and having two real girls tell me they would help was more than I could take. I was sobbing like a baby when I felt them both sit on the bed and hold me. Nobody said anything for a while, then Beth asked me if I wanted them to walk to my house with me. "No, you better not. When dad sees these he'll freak out for sure, and I think it might be better if mom and I handled it alone. "If you really want to make your point Julie, don't wear a bra at all! Let them hang free with your nipples pushing against that thin top you have on. He'll believe it then!" She had a point, and I had always worn a bra because I always needed one. Now, just like them, I could go braless if I wanted too! "I think I'll do just that Kelly!" I peeled off my top and then took off the bra, letting my breasts free. "Damn! Those are fake?" I nodded my head yes and slipped my top back on. "I better go now. Thanks for everything. I put my bra in my purse and walked home.

As I walked I could feel my breasts moving back and forth, bouncing with every step, and knew that this was a huge gamble. I went in the house and saw mom, who quickly realized that I didn't have a bra on, smiled, and pointed at the familyroom. I went in to see dad. He looked up and I saw his eyes widen as he took in my hair, then my nipples as they pushed outward, the shape of my breasts clearly defined in the thin material. Saying nothing for a moment I let him look, then, "Is this what you had in mind daddy? I did my best, really." I had not called him daddy since I was about six, and standing there with my knees together, my hands folded in front of me, and wearing a smile to go with my new perm, I left him speechless. "I have to wash up daddy." I left him and went to my room, my mom right behind me. "That was a bitÉover the top, don't you think?" "What?" I said it as if I had no idea what she meant, but she knew better. "Not wearing a bra like that!" He's the one that wanted me, ordered me to do this mother, I just thought he might like to see what he created. If I'm going to be as feminine as he wants me to be, then I have to be able to show him I'm trying." "We'll see. Put your bra back on and come to eat."

Dad didn't say much during dinner, but he kept looking at me like strangely. I was about to clear the table when he finally told me to sit down. "ThoseÉ" "Breasts" I volunteered, "Yes." He said, "they are not real, so you can remove them?" "The woman at the store said not right away dear. After two months she will take them off and clean them, but to remove them before that would ruin her skin. Julie will have breasts until at least late September." "But that's after school starts!" "That is true, but we did exactly as you told us. You said you wanted her to be as feminine as possible at all times, and she is. Face it dear, you have a daughter now, not a son. In fact, if she starts school as Julie, which she might have to, she will have to stay that way until she graduates. We can't have her girl one day and boy the next can we?" Mom had put it right in his lap, and he hated it because we had done only what he said, not what he meant, and he knew it. He sagged in his chair and looked at me. "A daughter!" Neither mom nor I did or said anything, as he looked at me. "Those breasts of yours, do they look real? I mean, they're notÉ" "Yes dear, they look real, and no, you can't see them." "I guess I did this to myself then, that's what you're saying?" "Dad," I said, "I told you that I liked to dress up once in a while, and that was true. I've been doing this since I was a kid, but I was content to do it once in a while. I always wanted to go out of the house but never had the nerve until Bruce told me I could. Sure, I went out, but it was my first time. Then you went crazy and told me to do it all of the time. The problem with that is that I found out that's exactly what I wanted to do. I found out I liked being a girl and wanted more, and since you told me to do it, all I did was agree. Now, I can't go back becauseÉ" I started crying again and mom took my hand. "She can't go back to being your son because she has crossed the line dear. Now she knows for sure what she only suspected before, that she is a girl all the way to her core, and she loves it."

Silence descended on us as we all thought about what to do. "Maybe I was wrong in forcing the issue, but since we are past that now, I want you to continue to be as feminine as possible. I will not have a daughter that is less than a lady. Do we understand each other Julie?" I nodded my head yes, and he reached across the table and took my hand in his. "Always be a lady like your mother and you'll be fine. I'll try to understand and be the best father of a daughter I can be. Okay?" I went to him and hugged him tightly. The crisis of understanding had passed. Now all we had to do was learn to live with it.

During the next few weeks Kelly, Beth, and I became very close as they helped me expand my tiny wardrobe, learn to handle males, act like a girl, and so on. Bruce and I went out a few times, but he and I never found away to get past what we knew about each other and things died a natural death. But he held my secret like the friend I knew he was. In late July mom asked me if I wanted to have a party, "Maybe a pool party Julie. I've seen that new swimsuit of yours, and I know your dying to try it out. Call your friends and make it for Saturday." Many of the kids knew me as Jeff, but also now, as Julie, and had not yet connected the two. The minute they arrived at my house, where most of them knew Jeff lived, and then found Julie, well, my secret would be out wouldn't it? "I think it's time you quit hiding don't you?" Mom was giving me the chance to be myself, with all of my friends, in a secure place so I could let then see that this is the person I am. She was right about one thing. It was time to quit hiding. "Okay mom, I'll make the calls."

On Saturday morning I had mom help me as I removed every stray hair I could find, from my eyebrows to my groin to my feet. Dad did not know it, but mom and I had managed to find out how to hide my maleness quite well. I had found it buried in a story I found on the Internet, and when I showed it to mom, she suggested we try it. It was very painful at first as we tried to work it out, but now, it was easy. When I asked mom to do it again, she went to get her things. I had carefully loosened myself and cleaned up, shaved in the right places, and was on the bed, on my back, when she returned. I was no longer ashamed to have her see me this way because it simply didn't matter any more. The minute the ice bag hit me I gasped, then, within ten minutes mom had created what looked like a perfect vagina out of my maleness. "Okay Julie, you can get changed now."

With confidence born of experience and driven by desire, I pulled on my thin green panties and then the low cut Pushemup bra. It wasn't going to be a dressy party, but I wore pantyhose anyway. I liked the way they made my legs look. Then I put on the shorts, which fit a little tight and gave me a very feminine front while hugging my bottom. A light green top and white flats. I did my makeup, adding pink lipstick, white earrings and a bracelet, and went to help mom. Right at three Kelly and Beth showed up, then after that, Heather and Carol came together. Bruce walked in through the back while Fred came to the front door with his friend Greg. Ben and Leon arrived a few minutes later. We were all in the back, on the patio, when Leon mentioned it first. "Isn't this where Jeff lives? This is his house isn't it?" It was time. I looked at Kelly, then Beth and they moved to be close to me. "I used to be Jeff." I let it hang there, dry in it's clarity, yet soaking in it's consequences. "Holy Cow! You're Jeff?" Not any more Leon. It's Julie now. In fact it always was, but I hid it for a very long time." "You telling us you are a girl that dressed as a boy all this time? Why?" "No, you have it backwards. I was a boy hiding the girl that I wanted to be. Now I'm not hiding it any more, and have decided to remain as Julie." I was waiting for them to make a rush for the door, and prepared myself for their rejection.

"You look like a girl, smell like a girl, act like a girl, and dress like a girl, and on top of that you're a knockout. What's the problem?" I knew I could count on Greg. He's a very pragmatic type, and tends to see things in a logical way. "Are you telling us that you used to be a boy, but now you're a girl?" I looked at Heather and smiled. "Listen, we all have faults. Some of us get the chance to make it right, some don't Heather. Like you. You dream of the perfect guy and want to meet him, yet he has been with you, us, since grade school. His problem is he's too shy to ask you out because he adores you so much and always has...isn't that right Fred?" he said nothing, but moved slightly closer to Heather I noticed. "I had the chance to be the girl I always wanted to be and took it. All of you have talked to me over the last month or so, and none of you thought anything about it. I want you to be my friends, but I'm willing to let you go if you can't understand me." A long silent pause went on for a while, then, Beth broke it.

"Fred, get your butt over there next to Heather and tell her how you feel. Me, I'm hungry and want to try out this pool!" All at once they all crowded around the food, leaving me on the outside! "I think you have your answer now Julie." Bruce put his hand on my arm, smiled, and headed for Carol. I looked around and saw Fred deep in conversation with Heather, Bruce was talking to Carol, Greg and Beth sat together, Ben and Kelly were sharing a plate. "Can I get you something Julie?" Leon put his arm around me and handed me a plate of food. "That took guts Julie, a lot of guts." I said nothing, then he patted my leg. "Listen, my dad always said that what counts is on the inside, and from what I know, you're pretty special." "Thanks Leon." I saw him as he looked at my bust, then as he smiled at me with that crooked grin of his. "I'd like it a lot if you would let me take you to dinner tomorrow Julie." "I'd like that too Leon." Look at Fred over there. He and Heather act like they just met. That was very clever of you the way you put them together, and sneaky too." "I was just trying to help. She was headed for a disaster with Steve. Fred loves her and now she knows it. Simple."

None of the guys asked me how I did it, but when I suggested that we girls go change, all of them grabbed their suits and joined me. "I wouldn't miss this for anything!" Carol always was the curious one. In my room we all stood there looking at each other, until finally I said, "Okay already! I'll undress first!" When I took the bra off everyone but Kelly and Beth gasped, but when my panties hit the floor I had them all. "Damn! You sure you used to be a boy?" I said nothing to Carol, and pulled my suit on. After that, they all undressed and as a group we returned to the patio. I saw Carol whispering to Bruce, Heather to Fred, and so on, and I knew that the guys would soon know that I had what looked like a normal female boobs and a vagina. Leon came up behind me and put his arms around me and hugged me. "I think you and I belong together Julie." "And why is that?" "Because they only like you, while I need you, that's why." All at once I felt him pick me up and toss me into the pool. He quickly followed, and as I came to the surface he was there, millimeters from my face. "We all know that you're the prettiest girl here, and I'm the best looking guy, soÉ" His lips touched mine and it was as if I had been electrocuted! He must have felt it too because he also shivered. "That's why Julie." I felt his hand as it pulled me closer to him, then he kissed me again. Teasing, I pushed him down, but as he rose again his hand slid up my leg and I was unable to stop quivering.

As the couples paired off and moved to be alone, Leon held me tightly. "I'm not real concerned what other people say Julie, but I want to hear it from you again. You aren't going away, and you're a girl, the girl for me." "No Leon, I'm not going away, and yes, I am a girl, or at least as close as I can get right now, and yes, I'm the girl for you." Kelly and Beth had both told me that Leon was head over heels about me, but like Fred, he was to shy to say anything. He seems to have gotten over that shyness quickly. We stayed in the pool for about another hour and then went to change. This time I wore just panties, a bra with pantyhose with a short skirt and the same top and shoes. Planning is everything they say, and I wasn't going to let Leon get away.

After the party broke up Leon stayed, helped me clean up, then we went for a drive. That night he made me realize how much a woman can love a man. He was tender and caring, loving, and like me, anxious. Every time his lips touched mine I found myself wanting more, yet I knew that I could not. That was the most frustrating part for me. But as he held me in his arms I knew that I could never go back to what I was before. He touched me, and I touched him, he kissed me and I kissed him back. He confirmed who I was and I never looked back when he told me that we belonged together.

By the time school started I had become Julie in every sense, and with the support of my friends I attended school as the coed I was, joined clubs, went to the dances, dated Leon, and then, graduated with honors, standing right next to Leon on the stage. It was traumatic at first, and yet, as I look back on it, it was the only way. Dad sees me as his daughter now and even calls me kitten sometimes. I conquered the demons that drove me, found strength in my friends and within myself, and now, I am the woman I always wanted to be.

The End

 

 

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