Little Girl Lost             by: Anne O’Nonymous

 

"Jennifer Carlson Still Missing!" the headline practically screamed. It was in the papers, on the radio news and local TV stations. Everyone believed the little girl was kidnapped and killed. Bill Porter had enough! He had to get away from all the sordid newscasts and negative commentary.

"I just can’t take this too much longer," he thought, "I have to get away. Damn people, why couldn’t they just leave her alone!" Bill thought a few seconds, then they came. First a bit of moisture in the eyes, then the slight burning, after that a full-blown cry. "Why, why do I have to be so sensitive," he thought, tears running down his face. Movies, sad stories, missing children, they all did it to him--"Bambi, Dumbo," people watch, he cried!

"Maybe a drive might help, it’s a nice evening," he said to himself. So, he showered, dressed. Bill now became Jenny, his femme persona. Checking himself in a full-length mirror, then a smaller, magnifying one, he was sure he could pass.

Twenty minutes later, Bill, now Jennifer, Porter was driving through a seedier side of town when he had an urge to turn up a small street. Halfway up the street, he could just make out the figure of an apparently lost child huddled by a stairway. Jennifer decided to check, pulled over to the curb and said, "Hey, are you O.K. Can I help you!"

The child was up and running to the car. "Please, oh please, help me get away from those bad men! They want to hurt me!" the child cried.

Jenny opened the car door, letting the child in. She took off, turning first left, then right, then right and another left, checking the rearview mirror for anything behind her. When she thought it was safe, she pulled into a mall parking area and over to one side to get a better look at the child passenger. She was about four foot eight inches tall, long blonde hair, blue eyes, wearing a blue dress, slightly torn.

"By the Goddess, you’re that missing girl!"

"Some bad men took me away from my mommy. Can you help get me home, please. I promise I’ll be real good! Please," the girl answered.

"It’s alright dear! I’ll do whatever I can for you," Jenny replied, fishing around in her purse her some tissues. A few minutes later, Jenny handed the girl some tissues saying, "Blow your nose. Now, what’s your name little girl," Jenny asked as she wiped the girl’s face with a lace handkerchief.

"Jennifer Carlson. My mommy calls me Jennie, ma’am," she replied, confirming her suspicions.

"Oh great," thought Jenny, as she drove home to her apartment, "I got a little girl kidnapping victim half the city is looking for in the car and if I get stopped, I’m in big trouble and that’s with a capital B and T!"

Jenny asked more questions and talked to Jennie as she drove slowly and carefully back to her apartment, where she parked, got Jennie out and lead her to her apartment, saying, "You know, Jennifer, my name is also Jennifer but I spell it J-e-n-n-y, how’s your name spelled?"

"J-e-n-n-i-e, I’m named after my mommy’s mommy."

"That’s nice," Jenny said leading the girl to his apartment. "Oh great," he thought, "my place is mostly masculine. How do I explain that?" Other thoughts crowded his mind: what do I do now; should I call her parents, let them know; should I keep her overnight; is she hurt inside, maybe a hospital would be better; and, I couldn’t just leave her there, what else was I supposed to do!

He knelt down to Jennie’s height, and said, "Jennie, how old are you?"

"I’m eight years old, I’m going to have a birthday soon! Maybe I can get mommy to invite you?"

"We’ll see. Now," he said as he got up and opened his front door, "I want you to act like a grown-up, O.K.?" He held out his hand to her.

She looked up at him and, taking his hand, replied, "O.K., I want to trust you. I do like you!"

Jenny led Jennie into the room, pointed to a couch and said, "Are you hungry? How about some grilled Swiss cheese sandwiches and a cup of hot chocolate with a marshmallow. Sit there and I’ll make some for us, O.K,?"

"O.K.," she replied.

Jenny left the room, thinking, "I’ve given her an out. Door’s unlocked, she can walk out and report me to the police any time she wants. Oh Goddess, I do hope she trusts me, You know I would never ever hurt a child!" She put milk on the stove to heat for the chocolate, and found enough Swiss cheese for four sandwiches. Soon there was a plate of sandwiches and two cups of hot chocolate. "Please, oh please, let her be there," his mantra went.

Entering the room, he was pleasantly surprised to see her sitting, observing something on the television. "Here you are, M’lady, food fit for a queen," he said, thinking for the ironic wording. He sat the plate down in front of her, and watched as she grabbed two sandwiches with a, "Thank you very much! I was really very hungry. Those bad men didn’t feed me much!"

"O.K., Bill, you got yourself into a mess here, now what do you do," he thought as he watched her gobble down her food.

When Jennie had finished, she turned to Jenny and said, "I’m tired and sleepy. Can we call my mommy tomorrow?"

"Sure," replied Jenny. Great, now what? She’s not a stupid child, she knows male from female. "I don’t have any nighties your size, but I do have a pajama top that might fit. Why don’t you get your self ready for bed. I’ll sleep out here, on the couch."

"No, please don’t leave me alone!" Jennie said practically screaming.

"Goddess, what do I do," Jenny implored. He wished he could think, but would he make a right or wrong decision given the time. A thought came to him, "She should know the truth! Let her trust you, let her make up her own mind--tell her!"

Jenny sat down besides Jennie, and said, "Jennie, I don’t want to hurt you in any way, shape or form. I would be lying to you if I told you anything but the whole truth!" He went on to say he was a man, a transvestite, and he couldn’t stay with her all night. He had several terms to explain to her, and she seemed to understand. "So, I’ll put you in my room tonight, and I’ll sleep out here on the couch!"

She looked at him with big blue saucer-shaped eyes, and said, "When you wear a dress, aren’t you a lady?"

"Yes, in a way," he replied.

"Will you wear a nightie tonight," Jennie replied questioningly.

"Yes, but I shouldn’t be in bed . . . . "

"Please," Jennie said imploringly.

"Well, Bill, stick your neck out further, so the executioner has an easier target!" he thought. "I’ll get ready for bed, then you go get your self ready, O.K."

"O.K.," she replied rather happily as she watched the TV program.

Jenny went to the bathroom, undressed, took a quick shower and, wrapping herself in a towel, went to find a nightgown for her and pajama top for Jennie. After drying off, powdering, she dressed in a white lacy nightgown, clean white nylon bra and panties, sea-green slippers and robe. Walking to the living area and tying up her hair in a high ponytail, she said, "O.K., young lady, time for beddie bye and no excuses."

"Jenny, will you help me undress? I can’t reach the buttons on my dress!" Jennie replied. "Please?"

"Well, alright," Jenny said.

"Jenny, you look real pretty. Do you have a, emm, errr," Jennie wasn’t sure what to say or how.

"No, silly, I don’t have a, well, boyfriend. I like girls! Pretty ones, like you’ll be in, oh, ten years," Jenny replied with a laugh. She sat on the sofa, pulled Jennie gently to her, gave her a hug and turned her around saying, "now let’s get you ready for bed!"

Jenny unbuttoned Jennie’s dress, took off her slip, then sat her up on the sofa and removed her Mary Janes and anklets. Jennie, now dressed only in training bra and panties, was led to the bathroom.

"I’ll run you a bubble bath, O.K.?" Jenny thought that she could put the girl’s clothes in the wash so they would be clean in the morning.

After running a quarter tub of water, Jenny added her scented bubble bath, and told Jennie, "I’ll close the door, you take off that bra and dirty panties, toss them out to me and I’ll wash them for you." As she did so, Jennie opened the door, tossed out the panties, and closed the door. In a minute, Jenny could hear the splashing of someone enjoying a bath. The clothes were soon in a washing machine and would be ready in the morning. She could iron the dress and slip then.

As she returned to the bath area she heard a plaintive cry, "Jenny, wash my back for me, please."

"Great! Wait till she tells her mother about this, I’ll be shot as a child molester," he thought. "Honey, can’t you do it yourself?" he asked, knowing the answer in advance.

"Please, Jenny!"

He entered the bathroom, knelt by the tub and proceeded to wash her back. Actually, he was beginning to enjoy her company. Taking care, he washed her all over, and when done helped her out of the tub. Next he patted her dry, used a scented talcum powder on her, put the pajama top on her, laughing at the ludicrous sight. He led her to a mirror and showed her how she looked. She started giggling, like a happy little girl.

Taking her to the bedroom, he pulled the cover down and said, "you get in bed and I’ll be just outside on the . . ."

"NO, you promised. Please," Jennie said with a frown.

Jenny sighed, "alright, a promise is a promise!" He tucked her in, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and Jennie grabbed him and gave him a big hug, "you are the bestest tansvesite. I luv you!" "Oh Goddess, I sure do hope things work out tomorrow," Jenny thought as she hung up her robe, walked to the bed, removed the slippers and slipped in beside her young, albeit temporary, charge.

"Oh Goddess, Great Mother of us all, please keep safe all who dwell under this roof. Guide and protect me and the ones I love; especially give the little one here Your Blessed protection. So Mote It Be." Jenny followed a different path to most people, she had accepted the Pagan Way as a teenager and honored the Goddess Mother.

Turning to her, he saw she was fast asleep. Jenny laid there musing on her past: booze at twelve, attempted suicide at fourteen and sixteen because of what he was, painkillers and depressants at other times. Then, a revelation happened--a book on Paganism. All these past years, he had heaped shame on himself for what he did and what he was--a pervert, a sinful less-than-normal human. One small sentence: An ye harm none, do as ye will! He saw that he was different from others, but so is everybody else. All those drugs, alcohol, suicide were harming him. If he had succeeded in his attempts, he would have harmed his parents! So many other revelations came to him, and now this. This lovely little bundle beside him, he felt so much responsibility for. He cuddled up closer to her, not wanting to let go.

As it happens, morning came too soon. Jenny wondered about the small person next to her, then she remembered what had occurred. "Oh Goddess, by morning’s light, let all go right," Jenny said as she got up, put on slippers, padded over and put on a robe. The first duty, as always, was lighting an homage stick of incense, Jasmine in this case, saying, "Blessed Be! I light this in you honor, Goddess Mother, I pledge to follow the Rede and to do my best in all my endeavors now and always. So Mote It Be, Honored One."

Jennie was next. In time, they were sitting at a table having a breakfast together, just as if they had known each other for ages. Jennie chattered on and on about school, her friends, parents and others. Jenny, for her part, sat, amazed, at the amount of food the little one consumed. When it was over, he gathered up the dishes and washed them. Next, he put on a TV cartoon program for Jennie to watch, while he got the clothes from the washer and ironed them.

"Jennie," he said as he finished ironing, "your clothes are nice and clean. Let’s get you ready to go home!"

"O.K.," came a muffled reply. Soon Jennie appeared in the room and, after removing the PJ top, he started dressing her. Frilly, lacey panties first, training bra next, then slip and dress. He buttoned up the back, and fastened the sash, tying a big bow in the back! Next, her anklets and Mary Janes. Jenny then took Jennie to a bench and had her seated across. She straddled the bench behind her, and proceeded to brush and comb her hair. For some inexplicable reason, he found himself getting sensually aroused by this simple act: a kind of mother/daughter feeling, a closeness with the child only a mother could have. He felt like he could just spend the whole day doing this.

"Well, young lady," he said as he fixed a scrunchie on her ponytail, "you’re finished. Go watch TV while I get ready!"

"O.K.," she said as she, unexpectedly, reached up, grabbed him around the neck, and hugged and kissed him. She took off for the living area of his apartment.

"Damn! Why does she do that. It’s making it hard for me to return her," Jenny thought. She wished she could find someone who would accept her: a special, kind and gentle woman. A few minutes were spent rummaging through the wardrobe, with a few muttered "What should I wear, oh what to wear."

Jenny settled on a basic black outfit, figuring she couldn’t go too wrong that way. So, shedding the robe and gown, put on black pantyhose, a black satin panty and bra set, a white full slip with a lacey hem (she liked the black/white contrast), and a black knee-length short-sleeve dress. As she sat down to put on her makeup, a small bundle of energy entered the room! "Wow, you look pretty," Jennie said as she approached, "can I call my mom and tell her I’m alright?"

"Please do," replied Jenny thinking it would be best that way. The blurr left the room at sub-light speed, and Jenny returned to the task at hand. She had just finished with the lipstick when Jennie returned, announcing, "line’s busy, she’s probably talking to press or something!"

"O.K., we’ll try again before we leave."

"What are you doing?"

"Putting on my makeup," replied Jenny, "want to try it?"

"Please, may I," Jennie replied with a big smile on her small face.

Soon the girl had blusher, lipstick, and a little eye shadow on. "There you are," Jenny said with a grin, "you look like a real big girl now!" Jenny’s next to last act was to put on a silver chain with a silver Labrys, a double headed axe--the symbol of the Goddess, around her neck, tucking it into the front of the dress.

After slipping on her 2-inch black pumps, Jenny again tried to reach Ms. Carlson, but there was nothing but a busy signal. "Well, I guess I better take you home with out calling," Jenny told Jennie as she took her out to the car, opened it and got her into the car. Jenny then entered her side, made sure the seatbelts were fastened and soon they were off to Jennie’s house.

With Jennie guiding her, the mansion was soon reached. As they entered the grounds through a pair of wrought iron gates he could see a house that looked like something from the old south plantation era. A white three-story building with blue shuttered windows, a portico in front, and a large chimney at either side of the building.

"There’s my mommy’s car," Jennie announced excitedly, pointing to an area apparently reserved for parking. Jenny parked beside a rather nice looking late model Porsche, and, getting Jennie out of the car, asked, "Does you mother drive that?"

Jennie replied, "No, that’s Marti’s. That’s my mommie’s car," she said pointing to a large Range Rover parked on the grass. Jenny took Jennie’s hand and led her to the front door of the mansion. As they reached the door it opened suddenly and a maid ran out grabbing up Jennie in a big kiss and hug. Jennie excitedly shouted, "Evie, I’m so happy to see you! This is my friend, Jenny. She saved me from some bad men."

"Oh, honey, wait till your mother sees you! Oh, it’s so good to have you back," said the maid. "Oh, excuse my manners," she said, extending a hand to Jenny, "As you can probably guess, I’m Eve, short for Evangeline. Eve, not Eva." Jenny accepted the offered hand in both of hers and squeezed slightly, in a friendly manner, and took note of the woman. She was in her mid-forties, fairly attractive with brown hair, cut rather short, and friendly brown eyes with flecks of gold.

"I’m Jennifer, or Jenny with a ‘Y,’ Porter. I’m very pleased to meet you, Eve," Jenny replied, "Now that you have her, I‘d best be leaving." She did not want to intrude on the family’s happiness.

"Oh no you don’t!" Eve took one arm and Jennie, at a nod from Eve, took the other. Together he was taken "prisoner" and marched into the house. Inside, the house appeared even larger, if that was possible. She was turned left, into one room; then right, into another. In this room Jennie left him and sped to a woman seated on a sofa yelling, "Mommie, mommie, I’m back!"

Actually there were two women there: one, a middle-aged blonde Jennie headed for; the other, a very attractive woman, in her late twenties--early thirties, with dark auburn hair to her shoulders.

The blonde was on poor Jennie in a second, crying, "Jennie, thank God you’re safe! I’ve been worried sick! Are you alright? Marti, please, would you please look her over. Jennie, welcome home, dear!"

The dark haired woman, called Marti, came over to Jennie and said, "Come with me dear, I just want to see how you are!" She gave Jenny a glance, and her eye seemed to catch something. Jenny looked down slightly and quickly pushed the silver Goddess symbol back into hiding. There was no need to upset anyone who couldn’t understand or accept.

As Marti left the room with Jennie, the blonde woman introduced herself with, "my name is Barbara Carlson. I’m Jennie’s mother. How much of a reward do you want?"

"Please, I just wanted to get Jennie home safe. I don’t want a reward for doing what’s right!"

"Oh," Barbara said with a suprised smile, "Please forgive me. I really didn’t mean that as an insult. It’s just that I feel you should be compensated in some way for your efforts."

"I did not take it as an insult, ma’am, I’m so glad she’s home safe," Jenny stated.

"Come over here and sit with me, and I’ll explain what happened," Barbara said as she led her to a sofa. Eve returned to the room bearing a tray with two glasses of wine, saying, "this calls for a little celebration!"

Both Barbara and Jenny took a glass of wine. Eve had a glass of fruit juice, and said, "Jenny, I’m a recovering alcoholic! Ms. Carlson is the only person who would take a chance hiring me. So, no alcohol for me!"

"Come on, Eve, you can work anywhere you want. Jenny, here’s what happened. I’m in divorce proceedings and my ex-husband wants half of the business I’ve built. He has threatened me several times. Jennie was taken and held by two of my ex’s friends. They were captured two days ago, but Jennie was not where they said she was. When the papers reported it, their capture was omitted, in an attempt to lure my ex out. They thought he had her. I would have gladly given up the business just to have Jennie back!"

At that moment a small tornado ran into the room and flew into Jenny’s lap.

Marti then entered, said "she’s in perfect health. No scars, some bruises but absolutely nothing serious." She then walked to where Jenny was sitting and said, "I’m sorry! I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself. I’m Martine O’Connor, Jennie’s doctor." As she spoke, she pulled a silver chain up in front of her bearing an Egyptian Ankh. "Although I do have a modern Medical Degree, I also follow the Old Ways."

"My name is, oh Hell! I’ve got to be honest. I shouldn’t be here. My name really is Bill Porter, and I dress as a female because I enjoy the feeling, relaxation, and the sensuality of the clothes. I use the name Jenny as my female persona, and I shared my bed with your daughter because she wanted someone to hold her," Bill confessed. "Please, I don’t want anything, I just want . . . ."

"Jenny, please don’t cry," pleaded Jennie, "I still love you!" She grabbed him around the neck in a tight hug. Bill grabbed her, held her and felt the tears he knew so well.

"Well, this is a revelation,’ Barbara said, ‘Do you have a job at present?"

"No, I was laid off a month ago," Bill replied.

"I can see Jennie really likes you. I have a proposition for you, will you listen to it?" Barbara said with a smile.

Bill gave his assent.

"O.K., Jennie needs someone to look after her. There are many times when I must attend business meetings with important clients, Eve is busy with household chores, and she needs help keeping her straight. Marti lives here, but she has her own practice. What I’m saying I think you and Jennie really belong together, you can become a surrogate mother to her--get her breakfast, take her to school and shopping."

Bill wanted to scream "yes," but was beaten by Jennie with, "please, Jenny, please. I’ll do whatever you want, just say yes."

Barbara continued: "I can give you a very generous clothing allowance, computer access if you wish, and I’m sure you can make Jennie the lady she should be. I’ll arrange for all new furniture and you’ll have your own room and bath, right next to Marti’s room." She said the last with a wink in Marti’s direction.

Well, what would you say to such an offer?

 

Epilogue

Well, dear reader, here’s what happened in this short saga:

After three years, Jenny married Marti, both wearing identical white satin, silk and lace bridal gowns. Jennie was a very pretty bride’s-maid, and Barbara was matron of honor. Marti and Jenny lived with Barbara, Jennie and Eve for a while, and when Jennie started high school, Jenny worked in Marti’s Pediatrics office as a secretary.

Almost all of the women coming into the office said, "she had a way with children." "She" and Marti eventually had three little bundles of joy of their own, and guess who had the two a.m. feeding?

After finishing her schooling, Jennie went into her mother’s office as a financial advisor to working women. Ultimately she took over the business when Barbara retired. Jennie married a somewhat nerdy fellow she met in college, a non-jock, and he became a multimillionaire in the computer software industry with a program for a new game platform.

Finis--That’s all folks, Annie O

 

© 2001
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