Lisa's Dream

by Susan Heywood

 

Robert Pemberton was one of those people who blended so well into the background that he usually went unnoticed. Five feet six in height and weighing about 130 pounds, he wore spectacles and had a round face, auburn hair and 'average' everything else. He was not good-looking (that is, in a way that girls would swoon over) but neither did he look 'different', he was just average and ordinary.

At school he was keen on most academic subjects and achieved good examination passes. He was not interested in sport, girls (I'll come to that later), sowing 'wild oats', fighting in gangs, swapping dirty stories or any of the other things that 'normal' schoolboys are supposed to do. He enjoyed music which was, of course, of no interest to his peers who appeared to be concerned only with "who won the match" or "that smashing bird over there". He kept as low a profile as it was possible to keep.

He was bullied due to his wearing spectacles and this led him to keep his own company for much of the time, although he was friendly with a girl a few doors away. Carol was about Robert's age and not what you'd call 'pretty', which didn't bother Robert at all. Carol and her younger sister used to invite Robert to play house, which merely required him to sit and read a newspaper. This he enjoyed to some extent as it gave him the opportunity to keep their company without the usual 'relationship' overtones. The fact that he could legitimately claim to have a 'girlfriend' also helped to tone down the bullying a little: life would have been much less bearable had he been known to have no 'real girlfriend' at all. Don't get me wrong: Robert was very interested in girls but not for the 'usual' reasons and he knew that he would be in very deep trouble if the heavies at school ever found out the truth!

In all this, only Robert knew about Lisa. Lisa; his sister since early childhood. Some might talk about a make-believe sister, not unreasonable for an only child. But Lisa was different. She would have loved to have been able to join in the games that Carol and her sister played, had a doll to dress and push around in a pram and play nurses, house and so on.

She was also jealous of Carol's long hair and lovely clothes and would have loved to wear Carol's school uniform. These, however, were the stuff of dreams.

Robert would have liked nothing better than to help Lisa achieve her ambition. Opportunities, however, were few and were fraught with danger.

He had a total and complete lack of self-confidence, partly because of his eyesight but mainly due to being consistently told by his old-fashioned parents, "You'll never amount to anything". He, their late and only child, had not turned out to be the desired stereotype macho sporting boy. Fate dealt him a further blow when he read in a sensational Sunday newspaper that his preferred path in life was painful, expensive and dangerous.

And so Robert struggled on. An uneventful school career was followed by several lowly office jobs and Lisa was almost pushed into the back-ground, especially as Robert had long since lost contact with Carol (who wanted a manly man, not a wimp in 'specs').

For reasons which even Robert did not understand he joined a large chain of shops selling books, records, stationery, newspapers and the like. The shop had a number of assistants, mainly female, and Robert managed a reasonable 'merging into the background' act when a little socialising was required at break times. His aptitude for figures got him the job of cashing-up and banking (which suited him admirably as it meant him working mainly on his own) and the ready access to books on subjects related to Lisa's condition was a bonus.

After a couple of years he gained enough confidence to apply for a job as an accounts clerk with Kennedy & Wise, a large firm of shipping agents, and this is where our story really begins.

Robert found the work interesting and enjoyable, improved his bookkeeping skills and consequently earned a place as a valued member of staff. In addition he gained a little more confidence with his colleagues. He even gained the necessary courage to change his spectacles for contact lenses. This initially caused some comment but another subject soon grabbed the headlines and the matter of Robert's eyesight, or lack of it, was filed in the dustbin of the mind where it really belonged.

Mostly, of course, Lisa was much more interested in what the other women wore, their makeup, perfumes, heels, how they walked, girl talk and so on and Robert ended up completely tongue-tied when the matter of relationships arose. You can imagine the sort of banter and innuendoes which went on between the other staff, particularly the women.

At a loss for something to do in the evenings Robert enrolled at classes where he learned shorthand and typing. Whilst he had no immediate need for the skills he felt that they might 'prove useful one day'. Strangely he had no problems with being the only male in an evening class of women. He had spun a yarn about it being useful for his job but no one had made any comment about it. Perhaps the strong personality of the teacher had helped. She was one of these enlightened people who believed that it mattered not one jot what gender you were. He had paid his money, turned up for classes and was keen to learn so that was that. Robert giggled to himself as he imagined her successfully teaching shorthand and typing to the inhabitants of a rain forest somewhere in the upper reaches of the Amazon, simply because they had paid the course fee!

He also went to classes to improve his accounts work and succeeded in qualifying as a registered bookkeeper. As his knowledge and experience grew he was given more responsibility and a small rise in pay. All would possibly have carried on like this had it not been for the arrival of a new Finance Director. Harriet Armitage was to change Robert's life completely and for ever.

Miss Armitage was introduced to every member of staff and Robert was mesmerised by her commanding manner. She was by no means masculine looking but had that indefinable air of someone who was quite accustomed to instant obedience. She appeared to be about thirty years of age and, at around six feet tall, towered above Robert. She had a physique and purposeful agility that any self-respecting netball team would kill for. Her short, straight, brown hair, white roll-neck sweater, midnight blue single breasted trouser suit and low-heeled 'sensible' shoes conveyed an impression of femaleness but with no sign of softness. (Robert was later put in mind of a tigress). Indeed she was clearly used to getting her own way: her personality and presence saw to that. She neither needed nor wore makeup. Her faint smile and firm grip on his hand seemed to paralyse his whole body. He felt her eyes bore right through him, almost laying his soul bare. She greeted him in her mellow contralto voice and continued to look at him as he tried to stammer a response.

For Robert the experience was to change his life. He felt himself in the presence of someone who could have absolute power over him and for whom he would do anything in the world.

When Miss Armitage had moved on to the next person in the line, Robert spent a few moments trying to catch his breath. Nothing before in his life had ever had such an impact upon him as that first meeting. Only later was it pointed out to him that he alone had responded to her greeting with the word "ma'am".

Robert used part of his additional income to take the occasional day trip into the city, where he could be found passing a relaxing few hours in the one of the specialist bookshops that catered for his tastes. He liked to buy Lisa a magazine every now and then and would have purchased some lovely clothes had it not been for two factors. Firstly, there was little money left over after he had paid for his accommodation and, secondly, there really wasn't anywhere safe for him to store such clothing at his lodgings.

It was following one such visit that, back in his room, he was drawn to one particular, intriguing advertisement. It read:

"Professional lady seeks TV or TS for bookkeeping and other clerical tasks, also various household duties. Sincere applicants only, no drag queens, posers or time-wasters. All clothing provided. Discreet accommodation in secluded area. PO Box....."

Robert was both excited and frightened but was somehow driven to respond: the advertisement seemed genuine and was an opportunity which Lisa would not let him pass up. Her life's ambition had been to become the graceful, feminine and intelligent woman that she should have been born. He wrote straight away, before his courage failed him. He considered using a Box Number for replies but eventually just appended his own name and address. He posted the letter and fell to wondering about the 'professional lady'.

Robert watched the post every day for a reply but, after about a month, decided that he obviously was not the right 'applicant' and, dejected, resolved to forget about it.

At around 9:30 one Friday morning, Robert was summoned to Miss Armitage's office. He immediately started shaking, wondering what he had done wrong but, rather than cause himself more trouble by delaying, he went up to the executive suite and shyly approached June, Miss Armitage's secretary, who gave him a quizzical look and said, "Do sit down. Miss Armitage won't keep you long".

Robert sat down on the edge of a chair, his heart thumping. He assumed that he must have made some dreadful mistake: after all you weren't summoned to a Director's office without good reason.

Eventually June's telephone rang once and she answered "Yes, Miss Armitage", then, "Certainly, Miss Armitage," and replaced the handset. "Please go in", she said to Robert and he got up from his chair. June was totally mystified as she watched Robert hesitantly walk towards that office door. She had checked and re-checked her boss's diary that morning but there now was the evidence to support the entry, '0930-1200: Robert Pemberton - Strictly Personal. No calls or interruptions.'

Robert was completely unaware of the curiosity which he had aroused as he timidly knocked on the door and a voice commanded, "Come".

The office was a fairly large room containing the usual trappings of a Director who, at that moment, occupied a huge leather chair behind a vast expanse of mahogany desk. Bookcases lined one long wall and the carpet was a sumptuous shade of blue with a small herringbone pattern. An imposing array of technology occupied a purpose-built workstation set in an alcove to the left of the desk.

Once again Miss Armitage's attire was female without being in any way feminine. Once again he was conscious of the power of this woman. He stood quite still, except for the thumping of his heart.

"Good morning, Robert" greeted Miss Armitage, once more with that slight smile he had noticed when they were first introduced, "Please sit down". She indicated a chair in front of the desk and Robert carefully sat on the front edge of it. He wondered if he should speak but his brain would not respond. Normally he would avert his eyes if she looked his way whilst walking in the office but today he had no choice but to look at her.

"You recently responded to an advertisement in a contact magazine", she said.

Robert's heart missed a beat (or it might have missed two). He was utterly devastated. It didn't occur to him to ask how she knew; he just burst into tears and thought that his world had collapsed. He had recently found new lodgings, not far from the office. Now he wondered what would become of him if he were thrown out of a job. Accounts clerks were two a penny and Robert had no illusions about the difficulty of finding work.

"Stop your crying!" she commanded and rose from her chair. She opened a drawer in the desk and took out some tissues, which she handed to Robert. With a massive effort of will he pulled himself together but rested his head on his hands.

"It is very simple," she said, "I advertised, you replied. If your application is serious, then I shall conduct a proper interview". Robert's thoughts were in total disarray. Why on earth did he have to put his name and address on the letter? He nodded and then started to cry again. She got up, came around to his side of the desk and stood beside him. He was now in full flow and jabbering "Please don't sack me, ma'am."

Suddenly she knelt down beside him, put her arm around his shoulder and, very gently, asked, "Do you have a femme name?"

Robert very slowly turned to her and his eyes widened with astonishment as he wondered at her knowledge of such matters. "L.....Lisa, m.....ma'am", he blurted out, almost automatically.

"Very good, Lisa Pemberton, will you trust me?"

In that one sentence she had re-christened him! Robert was at once shocked, confused, delighted and petrified. His thoughts were in complete turmoil: he didn't know why he felt the way he did but his whole being wanted only to serve this amazing woman.

He said," Yes, ma'am" and she helped him dry his eyes.

Then she said, "I need to know more about you. I have your employment and academic records and, from observation, you appear to be very suitable for the work that I have in mind. Please, now, take your time and tell me as much about your past and your wishes for yourself as you can. You may be interested to know that I have been observing you for some time. Do you believe in fate, Lisa?"

Without waiting for an answer she went on. "I suppose the odds against your even reading the advertisement must be almost impossibly high. For you to have actually responded must surely be fate. Having seen how you relate to other staff here, especially other women, I have long had my suspicions that you would be the ideal person for me. You have simply saved me the trouble, and possible embarrassment, of asking you directly".

Little by little she drew out of him a complete history of himself and his confused gender, his childhood dreams of being a girl, his distant and unsatisfactory relationship with his parents, his dreadful school years and his valiant attempts to come to terms with his situation, trying to fit into a society which generally views such feelings as wrong. In a halting but ever more excited narrative he told her about his whole life up until that point. Finally she asked him if he knew what dress size he was, his shoe size and a few other things. At last, after nearly two hours, she was satisfied.

Giving him a card, she said, "Good. Come to my house at 10 o'clock on Monday morning and we can discuss it then. Here's the address, do you know where it is?" When he nodded, she concluded by saying, "Now clear your desk and leave. Please ask your manager to come to my office immediately. If anyone else asks, you know nothing".

June was as mystified over the length of the interview as she was about Robert's condition when he emerged from the office. He looked as though he had been wrung out. They both, however, said nothing and Robert stumbled back to his desk, which he cleared. He passed the message to his manager and, ignoring all questions, left the office. It was now nearly lunchtime but the office wasn't due to close until 5:00 p.m.

How was he going to get through the weekend? His head was thumping, his thoughts were all jumbled and his hands were shaking. Not only that but his landlady, surprised to see him this early in the day, asked what was wrong.

"I was told to clear my desk and leave", said Robert shakily. "Have you been sacked, then?" His landlady asked, anxious about her rent. "I was just told to go home early, I wasn't feeling well," Robert stammered, and went to his room.

Sharp at 10 o'clock on the Monday morning Robert presented himself at the address that Miss Armitage had given him.

He had spent a puzzled and anxious weekend in the solitude of his room, had slept only fitfully and had eaten even less than his usual meagre appetite allowed. He had taken the precaution of setting an alarm clock even though he was, by custom, an early riser.

Dressed in his best (and only) suit, he arrived with plenty of time to spare. He had no difficulty finding the house in question: it was large, detached and secluded, with its own curved drive and hedges screening it from the road.

Robert checked his watch for what must have been the hundredth time that morning then rang the bell at precisely 10 o'clock. In response to his ring the door opened and Robert found himself looking up into the face of a strikingly beautiful woman who, he guessed, would be in her mid to late twenties. She smiled and bade him enter.

He didn't have time to register all her features but he did notice that her long, curly golden hair was gathered away from her face behind a white headband and she was wearing a black and white outfit, possibly a uniform. Robert particularly noticed her bust: she had large breasts and her outfit merely emphasised her stunning curves.

Robert dared not do anything but glance quickly at her as he stepped into the house. She showed him into what she called the drawing room and said that she would inform her mistress of his arrival.

Miss Armitage entered the room a few minutes later and Robert was again mesmerised by this overpowering woman. Her cream polo shirt was topped with a stylish black trouser suit. Low-heeled shoes again reinforced the image that she portrayed at work. Her hands were well manicured but with no trace of nail polish. She again wore no makeup and her hair was, if anything, even shorter as though she had just had a very masculine haircut.

She held out her hand to help him stand and said "Hello, Lisa, I'm so glad that you could come: I think you will find my offer interesting and I hope that we can come to a suitable arrangement".

Robert pinched himself to make sure that he was awake. He was!

"This is Jennifer, my maid and housekeeper".

The woman who had admitted him a few minutes earlier approached Robert, all the while carefully examining every detail of his appearance. Taking his hands in hers she smiled and said, "Hello, Lisa, I'm very pleased to meet you and I do hope that you will want to join us. I am so looking forward to helping you settle in here and working with you".

Robert had hoped that he would see Jennifer again soon but was as tongue-tied with her as he had been with her mistress. Whilst he felt his relationship with Miss Armitage would be strictly business, his reaction to Jennifer was another matter entirely. He already felt himself drawn to her in a way which caused his heart to do the emotional equivalent of a double back-flip somersault!

The electricity between them was broken when Jennifer said to her mistress, "Shall I bring refreshments now, ma'am?" Nodding her assent, Miss Armitage dismissed her and then turned her attention to Robert.

"Sit down, Lisa", Miss Armitage ordered and he sat on the edge of the chair that she had indicated: she again smiled slightly as she sat opposite him. He was trembling yet excited: again she had used his femme name - no wonder he was excited! He had the greatest difficulty in concentrating on what she was saying because he was still recovering from that delicious all-over tingle caused by the touch of Jennifer's hands upon his.

"Well now," said Miss Armitage, who had not missed the significance of Robert's inattention. "This is the situation. I wish to employ an assistant" (she emphasised the word). "What you may not know is that, in addition to being Finance Director of Kennedy and Wise, I also run my own business, specialising in the provision of first class accounting services to successful businesswomen. My business has grown somewhat of late and Jennifer has neither the inclination nor aptitude for the work, hence the need for someone to join us."

"But.... wh..why am I here?" stammered Robert.

"That's very simple. My experience of you tells me that you will make an ideal assistant. You are loyal, hard working and obedient and, what's more, you're no macho type!"

"But wh..what ab...bout........?" he started to stammer, but at that moment, Jennifer returned with a tray of morning coffee and delicate home-made pastries.

"Jennifer has been with me for many years. I have briefed her on your background and the type of work which you will be doing for me."

She didn't elaborate at all, merely stated the facts.

"Jennifer will be helping you with what we will call your 'domestic arrangements'. I, of course, shall supervise the work that you do for my business and will also take a great deal of interest in other aspects of your life here."

She sensed that Robert was still worried and sought to explain.

"There are no men in this household, neither do I intend there ever to be any. You will therefore be expected to adopt a totally female role."

At this his heart leapt and he fought to control his growing excitement.

She went on. "We are confident that, with help, you will suit our requirements admirably". (Robert did not pick up on the words 'we' and 'our': if he had, perhaps he might have thought it merely a figure of speech, as in the royal 'We'). "I know that your clerical work and bookkeeping are of a suitable standard as I have observed you for the past six months. Your studies at evening classes have neither gone unnoticed nor been wasted effort. I have watched you practising at lunchtimes when you thought that you were unobserved. The work here is well within your capabilities and, I am sure, you will quickly pick up the other aspects of the position. You will, in effect, be my personal assistant".

Then Robert was convinced: Miss Armitage wanted not Robert but Lisa! A wonderful opportunity to at last gain the freedom that she needed to live was opening up before Lisa and Robert was delighted at last to fulfil her dearest wish.

Then, turning to Jennifer, she said "Jennifer, my briefcase, if you please. I will make out a cheque for four weeks' rent and you can take it with you. Collect your belongings and bring them here this afternoon. Oh, and sign these".

"What are they?" asked Robert.

"I can see by your face that you would like to take this post. Am I correct?"

"Yes, YES", whispered Robert, his whole body quivering with anticipation.

"Very well, you will resign your employment with Kennedy and Wise with effect from Friday last. You start with me today. Sign your letter of resignation as Robert, your new contract of employment as Lisa and leave the dates blank. We will deal with the official change of name in due course".

Robert pinched himself again: yes, he was still awake! Eagerly he took the pen Miss Armitage offered him and signed his name at the bottom of both documents. He realised after he had done so that he had been commanded, not invited, to sign. He also realised that this was to be the first time he had ever signed himself as Lisa. Later still, he would be reminded that he had not read the documents before signing them.

 

To be continued………………

  

  

  

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