Like Father, Like Son... Like Mother, Like Daughter

by Emma Kate

 

It was a modest ranch-style house in a quiet neighborhood on the north side of the city of Seattle that I found myself driving slowly past. I wondered just how I was going to handle myself as I turned round in a driveway a few hundred yards past the house and prepared to saunter back. I could feel my heart pounding, my breasts were all sweaty, and my bra-straps were cutting into my shoulders. I knew there was someone home because there was a Ford Aerostar van in the driveway, and I guessed that was her vehicle.

I didn’t stop directly outside the house, but pulled the rental car in among other cars parked at the curb two or three houses away. I sat there motionless for several minutes trying to gather myself for what I knew would be the most momentous meeting of my life. I checked my clothes meticulously several times, and realized after a while that in my nervousness I was constantly and carefully smoothing my skirt over my hips and thighs. I hoped I had worn the right outfit so that I made the kind of impression that I wanted. Black skirt, white silk shirt, and soft yellow jacket seemed the right combination for the occasion, but I wasn’t sure whether I was entering a happy home or a hornets’ nest.

After taking several deep breaths I fumbled in my bag for my lipstick, quickly swishing it round my lips using the rearview mirror to check that my face looked alright. Then I ran a comb through my hair, freshened up my perfume, took a big breath, and was ready to go and meet my destiny. I felt weak with anxiety. What if she rejected me? Taking another big breath I opened the car door, stepped onto the sidewalk, set my sights on the front door, and began to walk slowly down the street toward it. Thousands of second, third, and fourth thoughts about what I was doing bustled through my brain, and for a moment I thought I was going to lose my nerve, turn and run. But I didn’t, and moments later I was standing on the step ringing the bell.

There was silence for a few moments, then just as I was about to ring the bell again I could hear steps inside the house, a woman’s steps, coming toward the door. My heart pounded harder, my bra-straps cut even more deeply into my shoulders and I could feel myself shaking in my shoes. I wanted to shout. I wanted to cry. At that precise moment this whole venture did not feel like a good idea at all, and I wished I hadn’t thought of doing something like this. Was there time to escape? No, there was already a fumbling with the door handle, and in a moment I knew I would be face-to-face with my past.

The woman who stood looking at me was in her mid-fifties, slightly graying, with a pixie-ish hairstyle, a laughing face, and dancing eyes. Strangely enough, as I looked at her I could see myself in her. I smiled, she smiled back and asked, "Is there something I can do to help you?"

I felt myself blushing as I looked into her face and whispered, "Are you Laura Cunningham?"

She nodded. "Do I know you?"

Now it was my turn to nod. "Yes, we met a very long time ago, but I don’t expect you to remember me, because we have both changed a lot."

She grinned then laughed encouragingly, "Well, tell me who you are and we’ll see if I remember you."

I felt my throat go dry, I coughed and then said, "My name is Katherine Jane Henderson, but when you last saw me my name was Alexander John Henderson and I was six years old…" Her eyes widened as it dawned on her who I was, then her hands rose to her mouth and she involuntarily let out a little shriek before beckoning to me to come in and close the door behind me.

I followed her into the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of water, took several sips and then a couple of mouthfuls, before sitting down on one of the chairs at the table and immediately bursting into tears, burying her head in her hands. I had a feeling that she might cry when first she met me so I sat down beside her, put my arm around her shoulder as tears dribbled down my cheeks, and waited for the weeping to subside. This gave me an opportunity to look at this woman in an attempt to get the measure of her.

She was a littler taller than medium height and more slender than I had expected. She obviously worked hard to look after her figure. There were some streaks of gray in her rich auburn hair, but it was her hands that I really noticed, and how beautifully manicured they were. My mother had always told me that you could tell something about a lady by her hands, and this was certainly true in Laura’s case for there was something exquisitely feminine about them. On the ring finger of her left hand was a thin gold wedding band, and nestled beside it was a small but exquisite diamond solitaire engagement ring.

Laura was wearing a short-sleeved white cotton blouse and a nicely fitting pair of blue jeans which showed off some shapely feminine curves, but she obviously enjoyed wandering around barefoot in the summer. As she sat there trying to gather herself, I realized that this demure suburban wife had suddenly been jolted by a memory of a past that she had for a dozen and a half years attempted to suppress. I felt bad about coming and letting the genie out of this old bottle, yet I knew that my own journey to completeness would not be over until we had met and found some way of moving forward with (or without) one another.

At last the tear subsided and she looked over at me, reached for my hand and squeezed it, then whispered in a low voice, "Sweetie, you look darling." Those dribbled tears were not enough, now it was my turn to cry. From deep down inside I could feel myself gradually coming apart, with a long low moan emerging from somewhere so far within that it scared me. Then I sank to my knees and buried my head in Laura’s lap, and while I wept she ran her fingers through my long hair. I don’t know how long we were like this, but it was a bonding experience. We had not seen each other for so many years, and a great deal had happened to both of us during that time.

When the storms had died down, Laura stroked my hair and said, "Well, honey, now we’ve demonstrated to each other how emotional and girlie we are able get, let’s have a nice cup of tea and talk about all that has happened to us since we last met. I suspect you probably would like to freshen yourself up a bit – there’s a little powder room just off the hallway, and I’ll use the one in our bedroom."

Ten minutes later, with teacups in hand we looked across the table at each other, our makeup repaired and our eyes keeping meeting as we surveyed each other’s features. I did not know where to begin and neither did she. Finally she asked, "How did you find me?"

I grinned, "It wasn’t easy. You have had several different names since you left Mommy and me all those years ago."

"True," she replied, "But I have been Laura Cunningham now for nearly fifteen years."

I took a breath and admitted, "Laura, I spent a lot of money tracing you, it wasn’t easy, but I needed to see you and meet you and have you see and meet me. Mommy tells me that in many ways you and I are very alike… by the way, she asked to be remembered to you."

She shrugged, "Your mother is a woman I will never ever be able to forget. She is a very special person…" She looked across the table critically at me and sighed, "Well, we have certainly seemed to have gone down the same road by the look of things, although you had the good sense to break with your past far sooner than I did…. When did you know?"

"Do you remember the day you left?" I asked.

She nodded. "How can I ever forget it? I got into Daniel’s car after my few odds and ends had been loaded, and there you were standing behind your mother’s skirts watching intently."

"And as I watched intently," I came in, "I knew that I was going to be like you one day. Don’t ask me how I know, I just did. I think I had probably always known that somehow I was feminine and not masculine, but I couldn’t have explained it at that age."

She thought for a moment, a gentle smile crossed her face and she said softly, "And here you are. You were only six then."

"And here I am, and yes, I have crossed the final barrier. Once everything was right I was determined that I would meet you, but I promised myself that I would not do that until I was whole, complete, and there would be no going back. Do you like what you see?"

She brushed away a fresh tear with the back of her left hand and whispered, "Katherine, I like what I see very, very much. You have become a very beautiful young woman. Are there any young men in your life?"

I shook my head. "No, not yet, but I have tested everything out to see that it works properly. And, by the way, everyone calls me Kate."

"So you aren’t a virgin?"

I shook my head. "I never tried sex as a boy, but since everything was changed I have experienced one lover. Mommy doesn’t know, but there was a guy I was in college with who knew my secret and I promised that he would be the first. And he was."

"Enjoy it?" she asked curiously.

"The sky didn’t fall in, if that is what you mean. But I wasn’t really sure there would be much pleasure first time around, I just wanted to make quite sure that I had made the right decisions."

"And had you?"

I nodded vigorously. "There is something indescribably gorgeous about being curled up in the arms of a man, with him deep inside you. I felt as if this is what I had been made for. Do you understand?"

It was now her turn to nod. "Of course, why do you think my life has taken the course that it has?"

I sighed, "Because somewhere inside you and I have the same gene that means that we cannot feel normal without turning the whole of our lives upside down. No one in their right minds would go through this if they didn’t have to."

"True, my dear, absolutely true…."

 

I sighed again, "Laura, I am so glad that I have found you. Even if you never want to see me again I will at least always know that there is someone to whom I am related who understands exactly what has happened to me because the same thing happened to her. Mommy’s family think that I am really twisted, Uncle George even called me a pervert. Mommy herself was upset for several years when it became clear that I was determined to be Katherine and not Alexander, but she adjusted to it."

Laura sipped her tea and looked at me long and hard, then responded, "Well, when you look at the two of us it does seem to be a genetic thing." She paused, took another sip, then continued, "And I have to tell you Kate, dear, you are very pretty."

I could feel myself blushing because that was the first compliment she gave me. Every man I had been out with or kissed had told me I was pretty, but to be appreciated by my parent in this way, especially so fresh into our renewed relationship, was a real joy and for a moment or two I had to fight the tears back again. Finally I managed to get some words out. "I think you are gorgeous, too, I had no idea that you were going to be so lovely, in fact." Then I asked her the question I had been dying to ask, "When you left us in New England, where did you go and you must have used several names…"

She smiled. "Well, at first I stayed with Daniel, the man I decided to move in with for about a year, but that relationship never really worked, even though he provided shelter for me while I adjusted to no longer being Lawrence and always being Laura. For a time I took his last name because I had this silly idea that perhaps one day he would marry me. But Daniel was basically a gay man, attracted to men, and he didn’t like what hormones were doing to my body. He felt I was becoming too feminine. I felt I wasn’t becoming feminine fast enough, and after a fight in which he beat me rather badly I left him and headed slowly across country. I would do little accounting jobs here and there and move on when people started to guess that Laura Henderson had another story hidden somewhere in her handbag. Finally, I ended up in Las Vegas, where it wasn’t difficult to get an accounting job, but I also did another less respectable job, too, for obvious reasons."

"Why?" I said, naively.

"Honey, I was desperate for money in order to eventually be able to complete my transition. There was this woman I met who ran an escort agency called Both/And which employed what they described as ‘shemales with that little piece of something extra.’

I gasped and put my hand to my mouth. "You didn’t?"

She nodded. "I’m not proud of myself, but yes, I did. During that time I learned a lot about men which I wish I didn’t know, but I guess I discovered how to flirt. In those eighteen months together with my savings I got enough money to have my boobs done, full body electrolysis, and what I had really wanted, which was some fairly radical facial feminization."

I sighed. "I guess I am never going to need facial feminization because Mommy got me started on hormones early so I have never lost that girlishness that little boys tend to have before testosterone starts doing such terrible things to them."

Laura grinned, "Well, it looks like my being with your mother taught her something. It has certainly paid off because you have never had the painful cutting up that was necessary to get me to a point where I looked as if I was the person I am."

"Oh, there was the cutting down there," I answered, pointing to my groin, "But I always wanted that. Apart from that horrid thing I have always looked pretty feminine, although it meant I was teased such an enormous amount that Mommy finally decided to keep me home and home school me so that I could be Kate all the time."

"When did you have that done?"

"Mommy and Raymond gave it to me when I graduated from college last year. Raymond is Mommy’s new husband, and a really sweet man. I had my surgery in Montreal, and we made a family vacation of it."

"How did you feel after it was done?" she asked curiously.

I put my head on one side and thought for a moment, "Content. I guess I felt whole and complete. I guess I felt that I had beaten the odds and overcome the terrible trick that nature had played on me. The funny thing is that ever since then I have been fascinated by bridal boutiques – I guess if the truth were known now I am a woman and that ambition is fulfilled I really long to be a bride, wife, and mother."

"You like men?"

"I adore men," I responded with a laugh. "I just wouldn’t have liked being one all my life. You know when I was a teenager, before Mommy withdrew me from school because of teasing and so forth to home school me, I used to ogle the boys in the locker room when we had to change for sport or something. I so wished they would see me and treat me as the girl that I knew myself to be. I used to look at their penises while hating my own, and wishing that I could be a woman on the receiving end of one of those things.."

She laughed. "I adore men, too, that was what was so hard about being married to your mother. I used to watch her going about her life, and I wished that I could be her." She stopped and thought for a moment. "Kate, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t really think of myself as a female. When I was little I was constantly getting into trouble for playing with my sister’s things. I loved dolls and party dresses and in the schoolyard I tended to spend more time with the girls than playing the stupid games that boys did. Your grandfather was so anxious about me that he sent me to a military academy in an effort to knock the girlishness out of me. I suppose it worked for a while, but the desire was always deep down inside me and never really went away."

"Why did you marry Mommy then?"

"Desperation. I reckoned that if I was married to a woman I might lose the craving to be one. But it didn’t work out that way. I think I managed to keep the yearnings at bay during the first year or so that we were married, but after that, especially when your mother was pregnant with you, I found it more and more difficult to hide from the truth about myself."

"The truth?"

"The truth that something had gone dreadfully wrong somewhere in my development and that the real me, deep inside, was not the man I appeared to be but the woman that I wanted to be."

"When did Mommy find out?" I was curious now.

"You probably don’t remember, but I used to travel a lot in my work as an auditor in those days, and so I started buying clothes and dressing in my off time. I would stay at anonymous hotels, would come in from work in the evenings and an hour or so later Laura would go out to sample the local stores or go to a movie. By the time you were in kindergarten I had tons of stuff stashed away, and I had reached the point where all my spare time when I was on the road being Laura. By then I had my hair styled in such a way that when it was brushed in a certain pattern it looked masculine, but with not too much primping I could make it look very soft and feminine. I am thankful that I never lost my hair. It was then that I met Daniel and for the first time in my life I realized that not only did I want to be a woman, but I also wanted to live the feminine role in life, be free of male genitals, and be made love to like a woman…."

"Go on."

"Honey, Daniel was my undoing. Laura fell in love with him, and when Laura reverted to being Lawrence there was nothing that I could do to hide it all from your mother. I was like a besotted little girl. It was Daniel who encouraged me to tell everything to your mother, make the best arrangements I could for the two of you, and then come and live with him as his "wife." Where I am now is a direct result of that advice. Your mother was hurt, outraged, and a lot of other things when I came home from a trip and instead of being dressed as her husband, I walked into the house dressed and acting like Laura. I can’t blame her. I am a married woman now and there is nothing that would hurt me more than to know that my husband had been unfaithful to me." She paused. "You look puzzled."

"I have been wondering for years and years why when you left you were dressed as Laura."

She laughed then ran her fingers down her thighs. "That’s easy… The day I was to come home and spill the beans, Daniel had got rid of all the male stuff I had had with me. It was go to see your mom wearing a skirt and blouse with lingerie underneath, or go nude. Daniel also said that if I was coming to live with him I was coming as Laura and nothing whatsoever of Lawrence should come with me. So the clothes you saw in those suitcases when they were loaded into Daniel’s car were my female wardrobe. I have neither dressed or been known as a male since then. I have always been Laura since then, and I have to tell you that once the crisis had passed it was a tremendous relief no longer to pretend that I was actually a normal man. I wasn’t a normal man. There was nothing remotely mannish about me except my body."

I could feel myself biting my lip in order to stop the tears, but it was no good and for a few minutes we were huddled together while I wept my eyes out again, my head pressed against my parent’s breasts. I had no idea that our meeting would be so emotional, but it was wonderful to be close to this woman who way back had been my father, and who I was already beginning to think of as my second mother. I was falling in love with her as a daughter because of her willingness to be honest with me about everything that had transpired. I must have clung to my long lost parent for a quarter of an hour, her with her arms around me. It felt so cozy to have two parents at last, and to have something so intimate and real that Laura and I could share.

Finally, I pulled myself together, we hugged for a long while, then I went off to the powder room to do another repair job. While I was there I heard the door slam and a voice yes, "Mommy, I’m home." When I came out of the toilet I went into the kitchen where I heard their voices and found the woman who was my father hugging a girl in her mid-teens wearing the white shirt and plaid skirt of a Catholic school.

"Kate," she exclaimed, as I walked into the room, "I want you to meet my daughter, Lizzie."

Lizzie disengaged from Laura and came and shook my hand. She was a beautiful young woman with long brunette hair, high cheekbones, large clear eyes, and an open, eager face. She also blushed as she shook hands with me, suggesting that she was a rather shy girl, not yet at home with herself and her obvious attractiveness. She said a few more things to Laura, then went off to change.

Laura smiled, "I guess you are wondering how I can have a daughter?" I nodded. She went on, "Lizzie’s mother died as a result of complications in childbirth, and she was one of my dearest friends…. She was actually the person who talked me into leaving Vegas and giving up working in the sex industry. She was a devout Catholic and felt it demeaning that I should do what I was doing. Through Esther I got a job in the administration of the girls’ school where Lizzie is now a student, and I still work there on a part-time basis. Esther was one of the teachers there."

I put my head on one side, pondering as I ran my fingers through my hair, "Did they know?"

"Oh, no, even Esther’s husband, Duncan, didn’t know at that time. I had had facial feminization, I had worked very hard getting my figure under control, my voice was sorted out, and this rather nice boob job had been done, so when I arrived here in Seattle I was Laura Jane Barnes, a divorced woman in her early thirties, making a new life for herself. Barnes was my grandmother’s maiden name."

"What happened to Esther?"

Laura sighed. "Esther was one of those women who was designed from the very beginning of her life for motherhood, but she was told that she would never ever get pregnant, and if she did it would be an extremely dangerous situation. Well, she wanted children so badly that she was prepared to take the risk that she might possibly get pregnant – and she did, her eyes open to all the difficulties that would follow. That was when I really became involved with this family, and during the last few months of Esther’s pregnancy I moved in so that I could care for her and Duncan. It helped me because I paid no rent here and that gave me more money to set aside to pay your mother her alimony and also to save for my final surgery."

"And Duncan…."

"Duncan, bless him, had no idea that I wasn’t all girl, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell him at a sensitive time like that. We became good friends in those last months of Esther’s life and she was the best girlfriend that I have ever had. Her death from childbirth was a tragedy that hurt us all, but Lizzie is the reminder to us that something of Esther still lingers in our midst."

"She is very attractive," I said tentatively.

"And doesn’t she know it! Lizzie has no idea I haven’t always been a woman, but I am at a loss to know what to tell her. When Esther died it fell to me to stand in while Duncan tried to get his life together. I went to being part time at the school and bonded with that baby in a way I never thought possible. Honey, I have even had dreams where I have been in the labor room giving birth to Lizzie!"

"And you and Duncan?" I was now very curious.

She folded her arms beneath her breasts and stood staring into mid-distance for several minutes. "About a year after Esther had died I was getting Lizzie ready for bed one night when he came up behind me and kissed my neck. I had never told him but I had been in love with him for months. That kiss was his way of saying that the love was reciprocated. That evening after Lizzie was in bed and asleep he and I sat on the sofa and just cuddled and kissed and talked about how much we felt for each other. It was a few days after that when I told him my secret."

"How did he respond?" I asked.

"He withdrew into himself for several days and I thought that he would ask me to leave. I was so certain of this that I started looking for somewhere to move to. Then one night, very late, I was having trouble sleeping and I went downstairs to get some warm milk. When I came upstairs again Duncan was standing at his bedroom door. It was summer and I was only wearing a very thin nightie. He took the mug of milk out of my hand, put his arm around my shoulder and guided me into his bedroom. I was in terror, I have to confess."

"What did he do then?"

"He walked me round to the side of the bed that had been Esther’s, took the hem of my nightie and lifted it over my head and off so that I was nude, then looked at me from top to bottom. Then he asked how much it would take to put me right down there. He thought for a few moments then told me to get into bed, which I did. He went round to his side of the bed, slipped off his pajamas and revealed the biggest hard-on you have ever seen. He grinned and whispered something like, ‘Laura, you see what you do for me.’"

"Did you?"

She nodded. "I’m like you, honey, men with lovely cocks do things for me. I started sleeping with him that night and we have never stopped. In those early days before my final surgery I used some of the skills I had learned in Vegas to keep him happy. He still says that I am the most sexual woman he has ever been to bed with. He paid for my SRS, then after a discrete time of recovery he asked me to marry him. We married on Valentine’s Day and have been passionate lovers and parents ever since."

"Oh, Laura, that is such a beautiful story. I feel so honored to know you. You give me hope for my future."

At that moment there was a yell from the top of the stairs, "Mommy, are we going to take Rex for his walk?"

Fifteen minutes later, having changed to a pair of sneakers that I had in my rental car, I was walking around a large lake with Laura, Lizzie, and their cocker spaniel. Lizzie was happily telling Laura about all the things that had happened at school that day. They were linked arm-in-arm, and I felt a spasm of jealous. Surely Laura was my parent, shouldn’t I be linked arm-in-arm too? As if able to read my mind, Laura suddenly turned to me, reached out, and asked me to join them. I almost tripped over myself trying to get there, but I felt as if she was inviting me to be part of their family.

It was then a joy to listen to Laura and Lizzie chatting, and to realize how much my parent loved this other child of hers. She also drew me into the conversation in a very skillful way so that as we walked and talked I felt part of their family. No, more than that, I felt as if their family was my family. For most of my life it had just been Mommy and me, and then more recently since she had married Raymond I had felt that the relationship we had had was changing balance, but here I was with my other parent, a teenage girl who was a sort of sister, and something deep inside me knew that this was family.

When we got back to the house Lizzie went off to do her homework and Laura and I sat together chatting on the patio. "Where are you staying?" she asked.

"I spent last night at a cheap motel by the airport, but I hadn’t made up my mind where I was going to stay tonight. There was a woman who was having her surgery with me in Montreal who lives in this area that I plan to see, but that is all I have in mind to do at this point."

Laura grinned, "Well that settles it you’re going to stay with us. We have a nice guest room over the garage and I always keep the bed made up, so let’s get your bag there now."

"Are you sure?" I said quizzically.

"Kate, you’re my daughter, I’m not going to have you in a motel when you could be under your parent’s roof."

The guest room was perfect for me and was decorated in pastel and floral designs. Laura and I lugged my case up the stairs and then she closed the door behind her and hugged me. "You don’t know how glad I am that you are here, darling."

I hugged her back, smiled in her face then whispered, "Not half as glad I am that I am here. Just this afternoon has shown me how much I have missed in these last few years not having my other parent, my second mother, to be part of my life."

We had another little weep then Laura left me to get settled in and to freshen up. She also wanted to call Duncan to tell him what had happened. I was scared of meeting this man who had been my father’s husband for so long, and decided that I would really make myself look good to meet this frightening human being. One of the things that I had learned well from my mother was the art of making myself look good, but casual. This evening I needed to be attractive, but casual, looking as if I had quickly thrown something on when in reality I had really worked hard to make myself look delicious.

It worked. Jeans and a teeshirt that I had worn for walking were transformed into something that seemed to enchant Duncan, who was the one whose heart I knew I was trying to win. I have to confess that I learned a lot about handling men during my transitional years at college, but in the year since I had finally crossed the divide between male and female, it was increasingly easy for me to relate to men in a low-keyed flirty kind of way. Laura understood precisely what was going on and could see that I was charming her husband. I don’t know fully why I wanted to charm him, but I did want him to like me because I wanted to be able to see more of my parent.

It was fascinating watching how the woman who was my father related to her husband. I was sitting in the living room when he arrived home from work and she met him at the door, hugged him, and kissed him as she nestled for a moment in his arms. From her whole demeanor around him it was obvious that she adored the man, and this already soft and gentle lady seemed to soften even more when she was in the presence of her partner and soul mate. As I watched her I caught a glimpse of the sort of woman I wanted to be when I was her age. She had really made an effort to be ready for him when he came home, with a floaty cotton frock that showed off both her figure and her femininity, her hair nicely done, her face freshened up, and a haunting scent of White Linen, which I was later to discover was her favorite perfume.

Duncan, a fairly ordinary looking man, was not only flattered by the attention Laura gave him, but also doted on his daughter, Lizzie. She knew exactly how to make up to her Daddy so that he gave her almost as much attention as he gave to Laura – but Laura was obviously the queen of his life. It was also obvious from the way he looked at her and touched her that they would be making love that night. Indeed, I am sure that if Lizzie and I had not been there, they would probably have been nude and going at it even now!

We had an amiable dinner then Lizzie went off to her homework, while Laura got waylaid by the telephone, which left Duncan and me alone together in the living room. I felt incredibly nervous and fidgeted with my fingers. How much did he know? What was he going to say? I sat there with my legs crossed and my hands in my lap wondering if the roof would soon cave in on me.

But it did not. He looked across the room, smiled at me and said, "Well, Katherine, I can’t tell you how happy it has made Laura to have you come visit us and stay under our roof. You very much take after you mother, don’t you?"

I nodded, realizing that he was talking of Laura. I wondered how much he knew about me once been on the other side of the gender equation. We made a little small talk and then he said, "I gather you have been making the same sort of journey as your mother… look, I know Laura is not your mother but you have to realize that it is very difficult for me to think of her as anything but a woman."

I shrugged, "Oh, I understand… until today the last time I saw her was eighteen years ago and so my memory of her as my Daddy is rather hazy."

"I can well believe that." He was silent for a moment, sipped on the glass of brandy that he had in his hand and then continued, "But it seems that some of her make up has spilled over onto you?"

"Yes. I do remember the day that she left Mommy and me, and at that time I somehow knew that one day I would be like her."

"You grew up wanting to be a girl?" he asked.

I nodded. "I guess that I can hardly remember a time when I didn’t think of myself as a girl. Fortunately, having lived through Daddy’s experience, Mommy was a bit more understanding of me than she might have been."

"How was that?"

"Well, not too long after Daddy left she caught me going through her clothes, so she gave me permission to try on anything that appealed to me. By the time I was ten I had my own little wardrobe of girls’ clothes, dolls, cosmetics, and the whole lot. I read girls’ books, female magazines, and really never related to that male side of me. I was much happier when I was in girl mode and being called Kate, than boy mode."

"Did you get to spend a lot of time in girl mode?" he asked, clearly very curious.

I laughed, "Mommy couldn’t keep me from doing it. The problems started arising when I wanted to go out in girl mode."

He looked a little startled, "I should imagine that to be the case. What happened?"

I could feel myself blushing. "I finally talked Mommy into taking me out occasionally with her dressed as a girl. We would go shopping together, and sometimes to movies. Once I was comfortable out and about as a girl we would go to restaurants and she even occasionally took me to the beauty parlor where I would sit and watch what was going on. I loved being in such a uncompromisingly feminine environment, and had never ever felt so much at home."

"So what went wrong?"

"I guess I was twelve when Mommy and I were out at a mall shopping and I needed to go to the ladies room. By then I was very used to going there on my own, so she sat with a cup of coffee while I went off to deal with nature’s call. I was just washing my hands after having peed when a girl I was in school with recognized me. She started making fun of me for being a boy in the girls’ room wearing girls’ clothes. It was all round the school by first thing on Monday and that was when the teasing began."

"It must have been terrible."

"Oh, it was. For the next two years it was merciless. I was called everything under the sun. One semester end I was dragged into the girls’ room, stripped naked, dressed as a girl, and my male clothes were taken so I had to be like that all day. It didn’t help that most of the day was spent in the class of one of the cruelest men I have ever come across."

"What happened?"

"Instead of going into high school Mommy took me out of the system and I started going home schooling."

"How did that help?"

"I enrolled in the home school as Katherine Jane Henderson and I guess that over the next year Alexander John Henderson gradually faded from the scene."

"And you didn’t miss him?"

"Why should I?" I asked, glancing at Duncan and giving him a little grin. "I guess what I mean to say is that I never really felt much affection for Alexander, and once I got onto a cocktail of hormones they tended to block any further deterioration of my body in a masculine direction, so I was able little by little to watch him melting away."

Duncan made a funny little face then said, "Well, as I look at you I don’t see much of him left."

"The last part of who Alexander used to be was disposed of last year, and I have never been happier."

Sexual reassignment had been such a freeing experience for me. It was like being finally released from a cage in which I had been trapped all my life. It was about now being beautiful rather than having this terrible, terrible disfigurement hanging between my legs. It was about knowing that if I wanted I could sink into a man’s arms and allow him to shower me with love and kisses, and then not have to stop when his fingers strayed in what might be a sensitive direction. It was about knowing that I was so much a woman now that no one could ever know the difference unless I revealed it to them.

I didn’t quite know how to say anything of this to Duncan, but was fortunately saved by Laura who called him into the kitchen to work out some family schedule stuff. This was the point at which I decided it might be wise to go to bed, so poking my nose around the kitchen door I said goodnight and headed for the lovely room where I would be staying. It was only after I had put on my nightgown that I realized I had left my purse downstairs with my medications in it. So, I put on my long satin kimono over my nightie and began slipping downstairs to pick the bag up.

I was barefoot and quiet as a mouse, but I froze when I got down the stairs because I could hear the unmistakable sounds of lovemaking coming from the kitchen. Curiosity got the better of me, and I crept to the door and looked around. There were clothes scattered across the floor and Laura had her arms around Duncan’s neck, naked except for the shoes and a rather delicious pair of pink panties. The pair of them were kissing passionately and whenever they came up for air my parent was telling her husband how much she loved him. Duncan wasn’t wearing a thing, and after a moment or two, as he began to steer her toward the kitchen table I caught sight of his manhood – which was quite big with a slight upward curve in it.

I have to confess here and now that penises fascinate me and my attention was riveted on the one that belongs to my father’s husband. As I hid there watching them I decided that it was quite beautiful, the sort that I hoped would one day feast on me. I had been fascinated by men as I had told Laura that afternoon, but I hadn’t mentioned erections, or the way I had stumbled across a group of boys a little older than me with their jeans down around the ankles and they were ogling a girlie magazine when I was about twelve. As I hid in the bushes watching them masturbate all I could think about was how wonderful it would be to have all the right equipment down there and be able to give delight to a man with an erection.

My Christmas present last year had been a night in a posh hotel with Carl, the man I had been in college with. Carl had discovered my secret part of the way through our time in college and had asked me if he could be my first. I had agreed, and after everything was sorted out down there he had picked me up from work, I had worn and old wedding ring that I had found among Mommy’s jewelry, and we had gone off to the Westin Hotel as Mr. and Mrs. Carl Olson. I had loved it. Carl was a gentle lover and my vagina was a perfect shape and size for him. We checked in on Friday evening and didn’t check out until Sunday lunchtime, but when we did so I felt I had crossed the last major threshold in my feminization.

Now here I was hanging back at a doorway watching the woman who had fathered me being made love to by her husband. When Laura had her back against the kitchen table, Duncan went down on his knees, took the waistband of her panties and slowly lowered them to her feet, she stepped out of them and then he began kissing her womanhood gently, but in a manner that he knew would give her delight. She giggled; then getting herself more comfortable against the table she lay back spreading her legs wide so that her husband could taste her womanhood and toy with her clitoris with his tongue. Sighs and gentle moans of delight followed.

I was entranced by what I saw and could not pull myself away. Some months earlier I had caught my mother and her husband making love, and now here I was watching my father and her husband enjoy each other’s body. Finally she whispered to him, "Duncan, darling, for God’s sake make love to me or I am going to die," and she lay back across the table where several hours earlier we had eaten our dinner.

Duncan stood up and said something softly that I did not hear. His penis was by now as hard as a rock and standing to attention, its head reddish-purple with excitement. Laura then spat on her hands, rubbed them over his shaft to provide lubrication and then urged her husband to come inside her. "Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God," she murmured as Duncan’s manhood took possession of her femininity, then she moaned with delight as his organ filled her. "Oh, my darling," she said softly, cupping her breasts as she did so, "I love you so much."

"And I love you, sweet thing," Duncan replied. He teased her and gave her delight for ten or fifteen minutes and then I watched as her back arched, her breathing quickened, and a satisfying orgasm shuddered through her body. Amidst the groans and moans were endearments and expressions of undying love for her husband, and then it was his turn to come. I watched his body wind up for the moment of ejaculation, and then he grunted and poured his potent fluids into her. What a pity, I thought, that Laura like me cannot have babies. The excess fluids began dribbling down her inner thighs and she giggled again, calling for more, which, alas, Duncan was not able to forgive her. So when he withdrew his penis from her, her hands darted down and pleasured herself until she came again lying there on the table.

When the show was over I crept upstairs and back to my room. I had loved the abandon with which Laura and Duncan had shown their love and desire for one another, and I hoped that one day I would find a man who would be as gentle and loving with me. As I lay in bed after having dilated and pleasured myself, I prayed to the God who I didn’t know whether It existed or not, that if possible some way would be found for me to have children.

I had always loved babies, and after Mommy and I had moved away from the community where I had been in public school and I was known only as Katherine, I had taken babysitting courses and had made money toward my transition and clothes by babysitting. I became one of the champion child minders and baby lovers, so that I was never short of somewhere to go in the evenings. I would get to know the mothers of the children I sat for, and we would often sit there and talk about maternity, and the utter satisfaction that a woman gets from carrying a baby to term and the giving birth to that child. One of my fantasies was that when I had my final surgery they would discover down there all the equipment to have children that had somehow got lost behind the awful male organs that I had been born with.

I had hated those organs, and had wished that I did not have to bear the misery of such a disfigurement. What I hated more was getting erections. It seemed that this noxious thing had a mind of its own. I remember one occasion when I was sitting in the mall mooning over a guy. It was a hot summer day and I was wearing the flimsiest little dress. Suddenly, I became aware that my penis had broken away from its strapping between my legs and was well on the way to being hard and almost unbearable.

I was mortified and it was as much as I could do to prevent tears from flowing. How did men put up with these things? Why did they get such enjoyment from them? As I lay in my bed after having watched Duncan fuck Laura, I masturbated myself, imagining that I was her and that the climaxes she had enjoyed so much were mine. I gurgled with delight as one after another two nice orgasms broke over me, and I thanked Mother Nature that I lived in an age when I could be released from the agony of being born into the wrong gender.

Laura and I set out to spend most of the following day together. When Lizzie had gone to school and Duncan to work we jumped in my car and headed to the first of three malls that we hit that day. We drank coffee together, giggled together, chose clothes and lingerie for each other, tried on shoes, bought cosmetics, and delighted in this newly-discovered mother-daughter relationship. In that day I felt myself being drawn into Laura’s life and lifestyle.

In serious moments we talked about the challenges of being women who had previously been miscast as males. There was a bond between us that I had never experienced with anyone before. Mommy had never had much interest in clothes and fashion, but for Laura it was a significant fascination – again, something we had in common. When we got home Laura took me on a guided tour of her wardrobe and drawers, for she truly had developed an enviable collection of beautiful things. There were nine drawers in her dresser. Two contained bras, one panties, one slips and teddies, two nighties and pajamas. Two were filled with hose, stockings, garterbelts, and the last one had all sorts of sensual and kinky garments that matter-of-factly told me Duncan enjoyed her wearing when they were feeling really horny. From the back of this drawer she pulled six dildos and a couple of vibrators. She laughed, "And here are my girl’s best friends."

I laughed, opened my purse which happened to be hanging on my shoulder, and produced the little dildo that I always carried. Originally it had been to keep myself dilated, but now it was for sheer pleasure. "I guess we are two of a kind," I sighed.

She turned, looked into my eyes, and said, "I guess we are." Then she reached over and hugged me. "Oh, Kate, I have I think been waiting for this time together ever since I left your mother so long ago…." She paused. "Can I ask you something?"

"Please do," I invited.

"Would you be prepared to consider coming to live here?"

With that I burst into tears and fell into her arms. "Mommy, Mommy," I wept as she held me tight gently patting my back as if I were her little baby. After a few minutes I whispered, "I have so missed you. I wish I had grown up with you around."

"And I have missed you, my darling. We have only been together for a couple of days and it feels like catching up on a whole lifetime. You and I have so much in common… Would you like to stay in Seattle?"

I whimpered and then nodded. "Yes, I would. I want to be close to you. I want to be with someone who understands all I have experienced and been through. I want to be part of your family. I want to spend the next chapter of my life being your daughter. I have so much to learn about being a woman. I want to learn how to love a man in the way you love Duncan and Duncan loves you. I want to learn from you what it is like for a woman like us to be a mother. There is just so, so, so much."

She kissed my cheek and whispered, "And you shall be part of our family, and I will teach you all the secrets I have learned about being a woman. Katherine, you have made me the happiest woman in the world by seeking me out."

Five months later it was Christmas, and I had moved myself and my stuff across the country and become a serious part of Laura and Duncan’s family. My birth mother was a little upset, but when she drove across country with me in the Ryder truck and met the woman who had once been her husband, a new kind of relationship and bonding took place between them. Now, whenever I talked to Mommy 1, Mommy 2 would insist that she chatted to her former spouse too.

I rejoiced in my younger sister, Lizzie, who shared my passion for clothes and shopping, something the three women in the house did with such zeal that Duncan blanched when he saw us get into the van to head for the mall. On top of all this I felt as loved and cherished as any daughter could ever be.

I had never really had a proper father, and Duncan had become such a fatherly figure to me, and was a constant source of advice as I entered the dating game in earnest. He quickly become someone who taught me how a man should behave toward a woman, and how a woman should behave toward a man. I may have lived in a female role through college, but his coaching played a huge role helping me come to grips with both my new life and my new gender. It didn’t take long before I was calling Laura "Mommy," and he had become my "Daddy."

I had worked some casual jobs while looking for work, and then in November had landed a position in the development office at the Catholic school Lizzie attended. There was a Christmas staff and faculty party at which I met Jonathan, a man who was a few years older than me and who teaches art and design. The other evening he took me to one of my favorite spots on Queen Anne Hill and as we sat watching the sun set over the water on this late August evening, he asked me if I would be his wife. How could I say no to such a proposal… and he has such a beautiful body when he’s naked!

  

  

  

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