"Strange fascination, fascinating me..." -- David Bowie

  

A Life Ever Changing

#18  Ch-Ch-Changes

by Angel

  

I was ready to go home...

I walked out with Grace's help and waddled my way to her car. Anyone who saw me now would see Rachel and not Ricky! No, Ricky only existed within me and for all other purposes Ricky was shelved for now. A new beginning was here. I was a sixteen-year-old infant girl. I needed to learn and learn quickly. I would do so at a pace I could handle though and not let others push me too fast again! The cost was much too high.

Grace helped me into the car and buckled my seat belt. She gave me a pat on the shoulder and smiled.

I remembered I hadn't called Barbara! I just had given her a wave and blew her a kiss when I had left early this morning. I would have to call her right away! I wonder what my mother and Harriet were doing right now? Shopping I knew, but were they done? Were they at Harriet's now?

I asked Grace where we were headed and she said, "To Harriet's, Rachel. She has given me a key and told me to take you there when you were through, okay?"

I said okay and felt a big relief. I had hoped we wouldn't be going back to my house. I would have freaked! Nobody in my neighborhood could see me like this! Especially the Nelsons and definitely not Barbara! I had to call her right away, but what was I going to say? How was I going to explain my absence to her? I would have to try and figure out how to say things without fibbing or making too much up! You could easily be found out if you made too much up. To easy to slip up the more complex a lie gets!

I asked Grace what I should tell my girl Barbara. Grace answered, "Rachel, tell her as much of the truth as you can. It is always best to do that. When you have to either make something up or not say anything, it is best not to say anything." She chuckled. "You could tell her all about your new job. How much it pays and the educational fund promised you. You could also mention you will be staying at several different places so you will call her instead of having her call you. Don't forget to mention you will get a week off every month and will see her then."

Now that made a lot of sense to me. It solved a lot of complicated situations I had been thinking about. I said, "Thank you, Grace, that is great advice."

She smiled and reminded me to call her Mrs. Brown if we were out and about, but Grace was fine if we were with people we both knew. I felt better knowing that. Calling her Mrs. Brown all the time after all I had been through with her just didn't seem right to me. She was very close to me now. Much closer than someone you called Mrs. Brown!

It would be a little while until we reached Harriet's house so I sat back and relaxed as much as I could, considering what I was feeling and wearing! I decided to look in my purse for something to do and occupy my mind. I opened it and started taking things out one by one. Hairbrush, comb, lipstick, compact, one package of tissues, key chain made of brass that spelled 'Rachel' with a bunch of different keys attached. Hmm, what are all these keys to? I would ask Grace later.

What's this? A hard pink plastic tube, you pulled apart which held two of something. I pulled it apart and saw two paper covered things. They were about four inches long I saw as I pulled one free of the container. What? TAMPAX TAMPON! What the hell!

Grace looked over just then and started laughing. She said, "Rachel, every girl needs those in her purse. It would seem very strange to other girls if you did not have them. A girl you meet might ask you for one if she has run out or forgotten hers. Some girls just don't know when their period might start and might need one from you. Emergencies do happen you know."

I looked at her and put two and two together and said, "That makes sense, I will have to remember that, thank you, Grace." I asked her, "How do these work anyway?"

It was her turn to looked a little surprised and she just looked at me for a second and then said, "Rachel, that will be part of your training and you will learn all about them then okay?"

V

I said ok and she smiled at me and patted my thigh. I put the tampon back and closed the container and continued exploring the contents of my purse. I found an extra pair of pantyhose, mascara "for great looking lashes" it said on the bottle. Another small compact with several different shades of what looked like hard powder in several different sections. It said "Long Lasting Eye-Shadow" on the packet.

I had a lot to learn! I found two soft packets wrapped in pink paper. They were long and flat about an inch thick. I felt the packet and I could tell there were two small safety pins inside. I looked at Grace and she chuckled and then said, "Those are sanitary napkins Rachel, you pin them inside the crotch of your panties. Some girls like to use those instead of the tampons. OH! I got it now! She continued, "Some girl's wear both on really bad days."

Damn, I never knew about this! That must be bad if you had to use both kinds at the same time! I was very happy I was not a 100% girl then! I asked Grace, "This happens every month?"

She chuckled again and said, "Yes, Rachel, and it lasts for several days sometimes a whole week."

Oh FRAPST! That must be terrible! I really felt bad for all the girls then! What they have to go through just being girls! I shook my head and continued exploring my purse. There was a small bottle of aspirin and a few band-aids in a zipper pouch. A small container of roll-on deodorant and a small bottle of spray on perfume both said "Rose Petal" on the sides. These were also in a plastic zipper pouch.

Grace then announced that we were now at Harriet's house and for me to put all my stuff back. So I did and held up my new key chain saying, "Are any of these for Harriet's house?"

Grace laughed and said, "Yes, and also my house, your house, Betty's house and a few other places I will tell you about later, okay?"

I said ok as I quickly put all the things back in my purse. I would have to label these keys somehow until I got to know which was which.

We both exited the car and I almost fell. Between the heels and the numbness I just about lost my balance! Grace caught me just in time and told me to be careful. I laughed at that!

We made it to the door and Grace unlocked and opened it. Empty. Nobody was home but there was a note on the table. It read, "Have Rachel eat and go to her room to rest. She will need it, there is much for her to do later on tonight. Will be bringing dinner home with us." It was signed Harriet and Mom.

I wasn't hungry, just real thirsty so I drank a ton of juice. Grace helped me upstairs and we looked for my room. We found it three doors later and it was a nice room! Light blue with white trim and lace everywhere! I could have done without so much lace, but what the heck, my aunt needed her fun and enjoyment, too. A pale red and very sheer nightgown lay on the bed. A matching robe lay next to it. It was a fairly short nightgown and would not even cover my fanny if I even bent over a little bit! {Ed: All Brits may laugh loudly here; 'fanny' means 'backside' in the US and is considered MORE polite than "butt". ;-) -- Erin}

Grace helped me out of my dress and under-things, checking my diapers and leaving them on. Oh FRIPSY! The nightgown didn't cover their bulk and the pink plastic panties contrasted with it! OH FRAPST! Well, at least I had the robe!

I got into bed and Grace tucked me in and kissed me. She said, "Pleasant dreams Rachel, I will wake you when it is time."

I said, "Thank you Grace" and rolled on my side and in seconds drifted off to sleep.

Dreams! What they can do to a person! Ricky and Rachel in the same body ever changing back and forth! Morphing from one shape to the other in vivid detail!

That wasn't the bad part it was when it happened in school and in front of the Nelsons and Barbara that was horrifying! I kept morphing into each shape slowly but surely in every scene! Each time shock and every different emotion you can think of was registered on the faces of those I had morphed in front of!

The worst part of the dream came when I was at home and morphed in front of the little ones! They started to scream and wouldn't stop! I woke up drenched in sweat and shaking all over.

It was still light out, I could see the sun's rays streaming in beams from the slats in the blinds that covered the window. The white sheer lace curtains caused the beams to make vivid patterns shoot across the room. I was safe it was only a dream! But what a dream it had been!

I would have to be confident and sure in whatever form I was in! That I knew was a certainty. Any slip up by me would have dire consequences not only for me, but for those I loved as well.

I felt funny. My fanny and groin felt wet and hot. I was covered in sweat and wanted to freshen up now! I started to rise when the door opened and in walked my mom, Harriet and Grace. They all smiled and were happy to see me awake. I smiled back and said, "Hi, I really need to freshen up."

Grace said, "Not so fast, Rachel, I have to check you over first and we should get you out of those wet diapers." OH FRAPST!

I answered her, "Grace, I can remove my own diapers and a shower would do the rest."

She shook her head no, and my mother added, "Rachel, you do as Grace says. She knows what has to be looked at and why." Oh FRIPSY!

Okay, so Grace had me lay back down, but first laid something made of rubber on the bed. I lifted my fanny as she asked me to and she removed the plastic pants. The diapers were soaked! She had a hard time un-pinning them but did. She had me lift my fanny again and removed them. Thank Goodness! Those plastic pants held in the heat and it felt good to be free again!

My mom had a strong flashlight and shined it on my groin. I looked down and watched as Grace examined my sutures and she smiled. Harriet handed her something from a case she was holding. She had me lift my fanny again and I said, "Not more diapers please!"

They all laughed at that and Grace said, "No, dear, this is just an absorbent cloth to catch the excess fluid I am going to use."

I said okay and lifted my fanny as she tucked a bit of cloth under me. She then filled a funny looking bulb-shaped thing with a nozzle on the end with fluid from a big bottle Harriet was holding for her. Grace gently inserted it into the folds that were now part of my anatomy. She squeezed the bulb and a cold wetness flowed in and around my newly shaped anatomy. IT FELT SOOTHING! Oh, relief was that quick!

They all giggled at my reaction and I smiled and told them that it felt wonderful. They giggled again and my mom said, "We know dear, we like it too, when we use it." What?

Each of them bent real close then and examined my newly shaped anatomy. My mom and Harriet both said, "PERFECT!" at the same time. I hate it when they do that! I noticed Harriet and my mom both wore gloves and just had to touch me there and they did just that! I felt a little sore and I asked them to stop and they did.

Grace used something else and sprayed the area with it and then gently patted me dry. She used some cotton and a long tweezers like thing to gently dry me inside there. Harriet then said, "Rachel, you will have to settle for bed baths for a couple of days."

Grace added, "Just think of it as part of your lessons."

I groaned and told them okay. My mom added, "Honey, it's just until you heal enough down there and then you can take baths and shower all you want."

I looked at her and smiled saying, "It's okay, Mom I understand." I got up and asked if I could go to the bathroom now and they said okay.

Grace added to my dismay, "Rachel if you pee one of us will have to rinse you out and dry you off. It is the only way to prevent infection." I asked her if she could just show me what to do and what to look for and she said yes. COOL!!!

I went to the bathroom and sat on the throne. I would be doing just that, sitting to pee from now on until Rachel disappeared and Ricky returned in full form. What? The pee shot out everywhere! I was surprised at that! This was a lot messier than just the old aim and shoot!

I patted myself with toilet tissue, a lot of toilet tissue! Then asked Grace to come in. She came in and repeated the procedure she had used a few minutes before. This time she explained everything step by step to me and let me do most of it myself. She told me to ask for one of them once more so they were sure I did it right and I agreed.

Grace had me step into the tub and she took off my nightgown and proceeded to give me a sponge bath. She was careful not to get me wet down there again and soon I was done and she patted me dry with a fluffy towel. She handed me just the robe from the nightgown set and we returned to my room so I could get dressed for dinner and what else was to come.

  

  

  

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