"I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive, Yeah, waiting for a girl like you..." - Foreigner
"I think I'll tell you something, The thing that I haven't said to a girl like you." - Pete Yorn
"I'm talkin' about the way I feel, And I've never known a girl like you." - Edwyn Collins
"Nothin' satisfies the need in me, For a girl like, a girl like you." - The Rascals
"Love me for the inside, ahh, like you, with a girl like you..." - Def Leppard
"Never did I dream I would find me a girl like you." - Kevin Edmonds
"I'm lookin for a girl like you..." - Aaliyah

 

A Life Ever Changing

by Angel

#16 - Girl-Like-You

 

I guess I am going breast shopping first...

We all had tea and coffee with each other while deciding a meeting place for lunch. It was decided that we would meet at the all-you-can-eat buffet cafe. My mother and Harriet left first while Grace made another phone call and I cleaned up the kitchen. Grace came back and asked me if I was ready to go. I was, so I made sure everything was off and I locked the door behind us.

We walked to Grace's car and I saw Barbara and Mrs. Nelson gardening out front. They usually did this in the morning because it was cooler temperatures then. I waved and they waved back, Barbara blowing me a kiss. I returned it and got into the car.

As we pulled away Grace started talking to me. She said, "Ricky, we are headed to Betty's shop first and then to my good friend's shop to get you measured and fitted for breasts and according to her a few items that you will need. My friends name is Anna, and she must see you first and go from there, okay?"

Without waiting for an answer she continued, "Lucky for us she is located near Betty's. From Anna's I will call Marjorie, (Dr. Purnell) and see when she wants us there. If we have enough time we will meet your mother and Harriet for lunch. If not, we will grab a bite to eat later on. When we get to Marjorie's office she will ask you some questions and look at all the pictures we took last night. She will examine you and then decide if and when we will do your procedure."

I jumped in and asked Grace, "What kind of questions is she going to ask me?"

Grace answered, "I believe it is some kind of psychological test Ricky. Just answer her question truthfully and fully, okay?"

I said, "Okay." Grace did not say anything then so I started thinking.

Tests were something I always did well with. This was different though. All that was required was for me to be honest and thorough with my answers. I could do that. I wondered what types of questions she would be asking me. I started to ponder about the procedure and figured out that the questions might have something to do with gender issues. If I as a person and human being could, would or even should go through with having this procedure. I felt a little better knowing better what was ahead of me.

Lost in thought and looking inwards I lost track of time until Grace said, "We're here Ricky, it's time to return to earth." She chuckled and pulled into a parking space right in front of Betty's shop.

It was too early for the shop to be open to the public yet, so we were the only ones there. We both went up to the door and knocked. Betty unlocked the door and let us in. She was very happy and full of energy and excitement. Betty hugged and kissed us both and led us into the backroom. There she handed me fancily wrapped box and told me to only open it when we got to Anna's shop. She hugged and kissed me again saying how happy she was and that her girls, she knew, were in compassionate and trusting hands.

With that and a hug for me and Grace we left, heading towards the mysterious shop of Grace's friend Anna. On the road again it seemed like we were headed to the hospital, but we turned just before it into a large medical park. There were several buildings with doctors' offices and more specialty shops. These shops were all related to prosthetics of some sort or another.

It was still early and only a few cars were in the parking lot. We pulled up to a shop called "Anna's Custom Creations." The shop looked closed and I looked over to Grace and she told me, "Don't worry, Anna is waiting for us. She thought it would be better for you if the fitting was done before the shop opened."

I said, "Yes, I will feel a lot better knowing nobody is going to walk in on us."

Grace chuckled and said, "Let's go inside shall we?" Grace took the wrapped package with her and we started for the shop. As we approached the door it opened.

(There she was, the lady who would help make me into what I wasn't. Or was I? I am so damn confused, but everybody I trust and love is telling me this is the right thing for me to do. Okay, I will do it, but only because I trust and love these women. Especially my mom, how could I disappoint her? She really believes I should do this and do it for my benefit.)

The two ladies hugged and kissed. Grace introduced me to Anna and she gave me a big smile and looked at me deeply. She motioned for us to step inside then closed and locked the door. She then pulled a screen in front of it closing all chance of viewing from the outside.

Anna turned to me and said, "Ricky, come over here and let me see you better." I went to where she told me and it was a small circular stage about two feet above the floor. I stood on this stage and she told me stand up straight and tall. Then she told me to pull my shoulders back. She took hold of my shoulders and turned me slowly around. THE STAGE MOVED! Yes, this little stage was on wheels. Anna smiled and then told me to take of everything.

I asked her, "EVERYTHING?"

She said, "Yes, Ricky, everything."

I was a little hesitant so she pulled out my pull over shirt and lifted it right off of me. She then reached for my belt and I told her I would do it and she smiled. I stripped butt naked again (This was getting to be an all to frequent occurrence!) and she told me to step up on the moving stage again. She repeated what she had done before, but this time she looked a lot closer.

I was getting a physical exam but no intrusions were made. Anna just squeezed here and there. She had me raise and lower my arms in different ways. I was so embarrassed! I was turning red from my head to my toes! She had me lean over front ways and back ways. I leaned toward my right and left sides.

At last, she was through and handed me a white terrycloth robe to put on. She looked at Grace and I saying, "You were right, Grace. Ricky, the breasts you have now are like a very young girl. Your nipples are large and just protruding. Your physique is perfect for artificial breast enhancement."

She smiled and continued. "You see I do get a few men in my shop, but I have to make special molds to fit them. You will not need a special mold at all. What I will do however is match your skin tone perfectly. The way I make my breast forms someone would have to really look closely to even find any edges. Just remember to only wear a swimsuit that will cover the breast area completely. They will not tan! I do have a few suits here and we will see if one will fit you when we are done ok?"

I just looked at her. I did not think I would be swimming dressed as a girl! Grace spoke up and said, "That will be great Anna. I am sure Rachel will be taking Betty's girls to their pool." POOL? Betty had her own pool? Okay, looks like I will be getting a swimsuit as well.

Anna said, "Ricky, I am going to take a few measurements now including your hips so please remove your robe." I did and she measured me everyway one could think of! As she measured me she made some marks on my body. Including my butt! I was covered with dots all over my chest and butt!

Anna was making comments to Grace and Grace was nodding and smiling. I was not paying attention to what was being said. I was lost in thought again. I was thinking about how much all this was costing Betty. She must be loaded, because so far the bill was getting very high!

Anna had me lay down on an examination table and covered me with a sheet. THANK YOU ANNA! I did say thank you and she smiled at me.

She said, "Now for some magic!" She went to another room and left the door open so we could see what she was doing. She was mixing up a bunch of gooey stuff. She added colors and then mixed again. She looked at the mix and scooped a little on a stick and dried it with a heat gun. (Like a hair dryer only hotter and faster.)

She then came over to me, and put it right next to my skin and smiled. She said, "Damn I'm good!" She went back to the room and poured the mix in a couple of molds and set them in something else. She then poured the rest of the mix on top of that and put that in a big oven like thing.

She came back to us pushing a tray on wheels that held several pots on it. She told me to roll over on my tummy and I did. She lifted the sheet to expose my butt! I looked back at her and she smiled saying, "Ricky, your hips need a little extra. Your bottom is perfect, but your hips need to be a little wider." With that she started spreading a cream on my bottom and the back part of my hips. She then spread this gooey stuff on them! It felt sticky. She left it on for a few minutes and the peeled it all off in one sheet.

She looked at me and said, "Ricky you have to lay on your back now so I can get the front of your hips as well." OH GEEZ! I turned over and the first thing she did was spray something ice cold all over my groin area! OH THAT WAS COLD! Everything shrunk in an instant! She quickly spread the cream all over and then the gooey stuff.

She smiled and asked, "Did you shave your pubic hair Ricky?"

I said, "No, that I had this smelly stuff spread over my body and I did not do it." I did not say who did either! I let Anna just spin her brain on that one!

She added, "I like the little heart whoever did do it for you has left." OH NO! I really didn't notice! I looked down and sure enough, there was a little heart shape made out of what was left of my pubic hair! I decided I was going to make Harriet pay for that one!

I told Anna, "I did not notice the shape and I will fix that as soon as I can!"

Grace started chuckling and said, "I think it looks cute, you should leave it."

I said, "NO! I am not going to be a girl all the time and I do not want anybody else seeing me with heart shaped pubic hair!"

Anna said, "Are you sure Ricky?" I said I was and a second later Anna made a few swipes with a razor and now I had just a tiny tuft of pubic hair left! Anna then spread even more cream and the gooey stuff. As she did before, she waited a few minutes and then peeled it all off. She covered me back up with the sheet.

I had this creamy stuff all over my front and back! YUCK! Anna asked me if I wanted to get that cream cleaned off and I said I did. She told me it would only be a few minutes more and I could take a shower. She went back to that room and started making something.

Grace distracted me by saying, "Ricky, how often do you think you will be changing back and forth from a girl to a boy?"

I thought about it and asked her, "I really don't know just yet. I do know that I will be even if it is just to come home. I will not be a girl in front of my sister and brother or neighbors. I still want to see and be with my girlfriend. I do not want to be a girl when I am with her either." Grace looked at me and nodded.

Grace started talking to me. She began by saying how difficult it would be to change back and forth. She told me it was a bit time consuming to change from one to the other. Grace then said. "Ricky, you will get better at changing from one to the other, but it will still take time and effort. I think we should talk about your job with Betty and see what she thinks about you taking one week out of a month off. That way you will have plenty of time to change and prepare yourself better to looking like a boy again."

I thought about what she had just said and this sounded like more than I would have agreed to if I had realized all the implications from the beginning. I had not before and I still did not know what all this was going to really entail. All I knew was that I was in this deep and I saw no way out for the moment. So I said, "I really hadn't thought about how long I would be staying as a girl at one time. I really thought I could just change from one to the other as needed, but now I know differently."

I thought a second about the upcoming physical changes that I would undergo, all the artificial stuff and then when and if Dr. Purnell decided to change my appearance of my groin area into a female's or not. If she did, I could not be a boy no matter what I changed into. I could appear to be as I was, just don't drop my pants in front of anybody! Urinals would be out!

I told Grace, "I think three weeks away from home is a lot, but I really don't see any way around it, either. Three weeks out a month is a long time away from my family, longer than I have ever been before." I will have to talk it over with my family before I decide on that, okay?"

Grace said that that was fair and she would wait to talk to Betty until I had talked to my mother.

Anna came back wheeling a covered cart. She asked me if I was ready for her magic and I said I was. She uncovered the cart and I saw two breasts and some funny shaped things as well. They were flesh colored like my skin and Anna smiled. She told me to stand up and I did, letting the sheet fall away. She said, "This will only take a second, but you have to spread your legs apart."

I did and she sprayed my groin again! OH I HATE THAT! It was freezing cold and everything shrunk again. She held each piece against my body one at a time. She wrote a few things on a chart and then told me it was time for my shower. ALL RIGHT! She showed me where it was and I gladly entered. She added before closing the door that I should shampoo my hair as well.

I said okay and took a nice hot shower! I washed off all that cream and gooey stuff. Anna had body wash and a scrubber in the shower, both new. The body wash smelled like roses. I washed myself well and then opened the shampoo. Sure enough, that smelled like roses as well. At least I was nice and clean again! Even though I smelled like a rose!

I toweled dry, patting myself instead of my usual way of rubbing. My skin was still tender! I wrapped the towel around my waist then and stepped back out into the shop. Grace and Anna started giggling when they saw me and I gave them the 'what are you giggling at look.

Grace came over to me and pulled up the towel to cover my nipples as in answer to my question.

"A girl always covers her breasts next time wrap the towel around you like this." She then showed me how to wrap the towel around me the way a girl does it.

Anna had me lay down on the examination table again. This time she spread some creamy stuff just on my nipples. Oh, why did that feel so intense? They stood right up and stiffened. Anna smiled and said "Good. Just what we need them to do."

She spread some other stuff on my breasts and then the form. She held that against me for a few seconds and let go. She smoothed it out from the center out to the ends. She did the same with the other breast. Wow, they matched and looked just like they were part of me!

She had me stand up and I immediately felt the weight of them. They were so real looking I had to touch them! Anna just looked at me and said, "What are you waiting for? I know you want to touch them." GEEZ! How do they always know what you are thinking?

I did touch them then. Wow, I mean this was so different than the first set I had worn! I could feel underneath a lot better. I actually could feel my real nipples when I pushed on the life-like artificial ones on the forms! They reacted! I was surprised and both Grace and Anna laughed at my expression and surprise.

I stopped then and wondered what the hell was I doing? What I was going to need, and soon, was a psychiatrist! I would need someone that I could really talk to. Apart from those involved with changing me. I truly believe I will be changed. Not just on the outside. I knew this was a certainty, but on the inside! My mind, my mannerisms, the way I talked and corresponded with others. My whole being will change in a way!

Will I be able to remain being my true self? Or, will I be utterly changed? I know one thing is for certain. The course I am on now will either enhance my true being or destroy me. I have to be careful and diligent at all times! I must learn from everything and put it into a perspective I can deal with. I will need help and a lot of compassionate teaching and understanding. I definitely need GOD! I need prayer! I need time alone!

But, most of all I need unconditional love from my family! It is so ironic that what I freely give every day, my unconditional love to my family has set me to need more than I have ever needed before! What do I need now compared to before? HAH! TONS!

Female clothes, bras, panties, uniforms, shoes, slips, hair care stuff that boggles the mind! Finger and toenail stuff! Nail polish! Breast forms, hip forms, and I bet a bunch of stuff I don't even know I need yet! Not to mention all the lessons on being female!

Oh, and the biggie of them all! A female-looking groin I still haven't figured out how it will be done without slicing and dicing me. I will trust Grace and my Dr. of forever. What else can I do? Say no? NOT! That is not an option any longer.

I don't care what they have told me. Once you say yes to something like this. There is no turning back. Not until you have given an honest effort. I can't say no to the change now. It is much too late. Too much money has been spent on my yet-to-be other side. The only thing I wished I had more of is time. This is happening so fast! I hope and pray I soon will be getting some time to be able to digest what is happening to me. I need time to merge my true self into an understanding of Rachel.

"EARTH TO RICKY!" I heard the shout from Grace. I woke out of whatever planet I was at the time and looked at the direction of the shout. Grace and Anna looked at me and smiled. Grace said, "Ricky is leaving now and Rachel will appear very shortly. Let Anna finish with you ok?"

I looked at them both and just managed to nod. I could not speak yet. Anna took my hand and made me step up and the stage again. She applied some gooey stuff on one side of my hip and then a little on the form she was holding. She held it against me. After a few seconds she took her hand away and my hip was wider by about two inches on that side. She repeated this process on the other side. My hips were now four inches wider! After she smoothed them out you really could not tell they were there. Just like the breasts!

She slowly turned me and the stage moved with me. She looked very closely and even used a magnifying glass when looking at my breasts! She smiled and patted my bottom saying, "You are a very pretty girl. Anyone looking at you right now would say so!"

I looked down at my groin and laughed! Grace and Anna started to laugh as well when they saw what I was looking at. Anna then said, "Temporary setback, Rachel. Soon you will see what you will be. Rachel, the girl that always was within you and now can be seen."

With that said, Grace opened the wrapped box Betty had given me. Grace looked at me and smiled saying, "Rachel we will help you get dressed and then we will go see Marjorie, okay?"

I said, "No wait! I am not ready to go out like that yet!"

Anna took my hands in hers and said, "Rachel, how can you put on Ricky's clothes now? What would people say seeing a girl dressed as a boy?" OH Crap! She was right! Half the people thought I was a girl dressed as a boy when I was Ricky! Now? I wouldn't stand a chance! I had to get dressed and go out into the world as Rachel!

Grace first handed me a thong! Oh lord! Anna took it from me and said, "Raise your leg Rachel." I did. She put them on and pulled them up half way and then sprayed my groin again! OH LORDY THAT IS COLD! Everything shrunk real fast and she pushed on my testes until they were inside me! Then, she took hold of my penis and pushed it down between my legs and pulled the thong up the rest of the way. It was tight! It held everything down and in place.

Grace then handed me a pair of white panties with roses on them. I put them on before Anna could grab them from me. She just smiled and turned me, which turned the stage. She then pulled them up a little in the back and smoothed them out over my bottom. GEEZ! They fit better than the other pair I had worn. Why? Oh yes, I had girl hips now to go with my girl bottom!

Next Grace handed me a bra. It matched the panties, white with roses printed on them with a flower sewn onto the middle between the cups. Anna asked me if I needed any help and I told her, no. This got a smile out of her and I realized she didn't know about my previous lessons! OH GEEZ! I put the bra on the 'easy way' but the bra just didn't seem right.

Anna smiled even bigger and said, "You see, you don't know everything." Just then I remembered the little adjusting slides on the shoulder straps. But I didn't really know what to adjust them to, so Anna adjusted each side for me, and the bra fit perfectly.

Grace handed me a pair of pantyhose. Anna took my hand and helped me off the stage and led me to a chair. I sat and rolled first one leg down to the toe and slipped it onto my foot pulling and smoothing them out just over my calf. I did this again with the other side and pulled and smoothed them out all the way to my waist. They went up high over my hips.

Anna and Grace smiled and said, "Very good Rachel." Oh brother!

Then came a slip which Anna adjusted for me and then came the dress. It was not real dressy or real plain either. It was an in between type of dress. An all occasions type. The top fit closely and buttoned up from the waist. The waist flared out and was light and roomy. It was white with red roses printed on it. Grace handed Anna a matching belt that was at least three inches wide! Anna slipped it in between these little string like loops I hadn't noticed. She tightened and then fastened it. It was comfortably snug.

I had to sit again for the shoes. Red to match the roses and they had a two and a half inch heel! A little higher than a pair of cowboy boots I had but didn't wear.

Grace said, "It is time for just a little lipstick and nail polish, Rachel." The lipstick and nail polish were red and shiny. I had to close my lips on a napkin and it left a 'kiss me print.' I did that and Grace put on another coat! GEEZ! I blotted my lips again and Grace said, "Beautiful!"

Anna then took hold of one hand while Grace held the other. Anna did my left hand and handed Grace the polish to do my right. Anna kept blowing on my nails! Grace finished and handed the bottle back to Anna and this went on two times! I had to sit there and wiggle my hands they said to speed the drying process! I felt weird doing that! I knew from the salon visit that this time it went much faster.

Grace took out a brush and started on my hair. Anna came over and held my ear and made a dot on the lobe. She then took out this white pearl with gold petals around it and held it to my ear. She did this to my other ear lobe and then said, "Very pretty Rachel. I have just glued on a set of pearl earrings. Don't worry, they come off easy enough with this solvent."

With that said she opened up a red purse and dropped it inside. She added the lipstick, a compact and then turned away and added a few other things I couldn't see. Grace I could feel was setting my hair in a ponytail higher up on my head like the girl I appeared to be. She brushed out the end when she had finished tying it.

They both looked at me and smiled real huge! Grace said, "Oh my, Rachel, you are beautiful!"

I gave her a look that said SURE, I BET I DO! I didn't feel beautiful! So each took one of my hands and led me over to one of those three mirror things so you can see three sides of yourself at the same time. I looked at the reflection and saw a cute girl standing there! She moved her hands as I moved mine. She moved as I moved and it finally hit me. HOLY MARY! That girl was me!

Now I would not call what I saw beautiful, but I would say cute! Nice figure and she looked well-groomed, sort of an upper-middle-class-type of girl. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I looked at Grace and Anna's reflection and they both were hugging each other and I heard Grace say, "Thank you Anna. You did a wonderful job. She looks wonderful."

Anna said, "Grace, the pleasure was all mine! I had a wonderful foundation to start with. The best feature I saw was the lack of an Adam's apple. There is not one person I know who would ever even think Rachel was ever a boy to begin with." OH LORDY!

Grace looked at me and smiled saying, "Rachel get your purse and we must be off."

I looked at Anna and shook my head and said, "Thank you I think Anna. I just can't believe that reflection is me."

Anna gave me a big hug and invited both Grace and I over to her place for dinner some time soon. Grace said that that would be very nice and she would call her. I slung 'my' purse over my shoulder and we were off to my Doctors....

  

  

  

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