A Life Ever Changing

by Angel O'Hare

 

A Life Ever Changing #9

"Well, you could've been anything that you wanted to and I can tell the way you do the things you do..." -- The Temptations

 

...Feeling much better about dinner and dessert I started to sing as I usually do when I am happy. (I love to sing.) Then I heard that sound...

Silence!

Now to tell the truth I truly detest silence. Some noise is always present in real life. A silent house should be an empty house. Not on this day! On this day, silence meant trouble. Trouble for me that is! Three women had planned well with one person's future in mind. Mine! Why?

What also came to my young and inexperienced mind was why had they chosen these steps and spent so much money without first talking to me. Why had they decided to force me into these situations? Why had they decided this role for me to take for my future?

Something else odd popped into my head then. Aunt Harriet had not mentioned my eyebrows! I knew this meant trouble!

Before any of my dear readers gets the idea that I should have thought they were trying to feminize me, forget it! It would have been an impossible task, to my mind. At 16 I stood 5 feet 11 and 1/2 inches tall. I weighed 165 pounds and practically all muscle, not baby fat or pudgy. Exercise was a big part of my life and helped me burn off my pent up aggressions. As you can guess I had a lot of aggression! In my very private mind a war was going on.

My social standing in the world was at the lower end of any scale. Most of my peers in and out of school considered me to be a geek. Not an ugly geek, but a geek all the same. I never hung around at the in spots with them. Even though I was in great shape I did not join any of the sports programs.

In fact, I wasn't in any extra curricular activities. A few knew my situation, but that did not matter to most of them. Another burning festering situation for me, I had very little time for myself. I had to take care of home and family. I realized this and its importance, but that realization did not help me socially. Any time I could get to be by myself I grabbed it! Why? I couldn't schedule that. Free time was when everything required of me had been completed.

Sometimes I pondered what it would be like to have a real friend. A best friend you could pour your heart out to. A confidante of my own, like the relationship my mom and Aunt Harriet had. Wow, would that be great! At least I did have one good relationship with a girl, my neighbor Barbara. She was 15, very cute and has great parents! Her dad was the best! Her mom? Protected her like an alligator protecting its eggs!

One thing I did have which I truly loved, my relationship with my own family. It was a very good and close one, so I had thought until that day! My brother and sister truly loved me and I acted as both mother and father to them most of the time. I truly loved them as well. I would do anything for them! The trust and love they showed to me everyday was awesome.

I guess I was very lucky though. Many had it a lot worse than I did! I saw it on the many faces I watched at school. Funny how many stupid things my peers thought are so important.

The things they did to those less fortunate maddened me to the boiling point at times! The handicapped, the slower learners, the plain-looking and especially the geeks! If you were not in, you were out. If you were out anything and everything will be done to harass, humiliate and even to physically harm you. At least at school I can help protect them from physical harm. When I see it happen I step in and usually that ends that. (I love to get out pent up aggression that way!)

Ok, back to the story...

Sounds! Once again I hear sounds! People talking in hushed tones have just entered the kitchen. The first thing I hear is, "Don't stop singing you have a beautiful voice."

Great, just what I did not want to hear! I stopped singing ignoring the statement by Mrs. Brown and asked my mom if she wanted me to serve.

She smiled and answered, "That would be wonderful, Ricky." Oh CRAP! My mother directed the others where to sit. I put the salad and several kinds of dressing on the table. Then I sliced the warmed bread and brought that to the table along with the butter. My mom told me to sit then and I did. Not in my usual seat either. (I usually sat at one end of the table.) I now sat across from my Aunt. Mrs. Brown had my usual place.

My mother started the conversation. Looking directly into my eyes she informed me that Grace has been a friend of Harriet's for many years. She went on, "One day while Harriet was doing my hair I was talking about all you do for me and the little ones. I told her that I was worried about you because you had so little time for yourself. You have had no real childhood like other children."

She was getting teary eyed and I knew this was hard for her. My Aunt held and squeezed my mom's hand then. Grace said, "Go on Julia, its okay, just say what is in your heart." (Now this started my eyes to tear.) (I fought it the best I could of course.) MEN DON'T CRY! BULL CRAP THEY DON'T!

Three against one in a heart to heart conversation is not fair at all! Not to me anyways! Well, my mom continued then. She looked at me again while saying, "You do many things for us that many boys would never do. Many parents would never ask their children to do."

I started to protest when at the same time Mrs. Brown squeezed my shoulder and my Aunt kicked me in the shin under the table. Ok! GEEZ! I did not interrupt again! Ouch!

She went on, "You are so good and ask so little in return." More tears, "I told Harriet how I was worried about you. I was worried that I was forcing you to be something you should not be." (Confusion on my part here. What? How could she force me to be something I did not want to be?) She continued telling me, "Most of the things you do for us were meant for girls and women to do, not boys!" (I knew not to interrupt my shin still hurt from the last time!)

"You are so gentle and loving. Your brother and sister adore you and Terry (my little sister) has told me how you make her diaper time so special." (OH GEEZ!) "Did you know she asked for you tonight when I diapered her? She told me you always let her choose one of her dolls to sleep with and that she got to diaper her just like she was. She also told me that you always wanted her help when you diapered her. She told me that I made her feel like a baby and she wasn't a baby."

Now my mother did break down and I felt bad because I thought it was my fault. I saw my chance to say something then without getting kicked under the table. I gave my mom a hug and told her I was sorry for not telling her what I did with my sister. That it was my fault (BANG) OUCH, what was that for? My mother just slapped me on the head and hard!

She looked mad and told me to "sit down and shut up!" She then (with no more tears.) looked at Harriet and Grace saying, "You see what I mean?" They both nodded and looked at me smiling. OH CRAP! I just did not understand this!

My mom went on, "You just don't understand how different and special you are and now that you are becoming a young man I am worried what might happen to you." (What?) "So Harriet mentioned her best friend Grace to me. She called her and invited her over for a get together with just the three of us. The topic was you. More precisely what we could do to help you. Now that you know that, we should take a break and have dinner and dessert. You sit and I will serve this time." She said that with a smile.

Talk about confused! I was a mess! She was right. I just did not understand what she was talking about. I did not feel I was so different and special to the degree she apparently did. I just did what had to be done. GEEZ, I love my siblings so how could I care for them differently?

The one thing my dad had taught me was the 7 P's. Prior proper planning, prevents piss poor performance. This was the only thing he had taught me that held any promise or truth in it. He also tried to teach me that, if the truth is going to hurt, lie. He taught me that the day he left. We never heard from him again. That was several years ago. To this day I hold to the 7 P's and teach it to many others.

Harriet got up and helped my mother and Mrs. Brown looked at me and asked what we were having. I told her and added that they were all my favorites. Well, I knew I had to have my best manners then. So instead of leaving my napkin next to my plate I put it on my lap. To say dinner was good would be an understatement! It was fantastic! We all were so full from the main course we had to postpone dessert until later.

The conversation was light and friendly with no mention of what was to come. The topics? Women stuff of course! We all went into the living room and sat. The three women sat on the couch and I took the chair I had before. I figured my mother was through because Aunt Harriet began talking to me this time.

She began, "Ricky you know that I love you very much and really care about you. You are more like a son to me. Your mother and I were all you had even when you father was still here." (That was true, I hardly ever saw him.) "We know you better than you know yourself. That was made very clear to all of us tonight. We just had to make sure we were doing the right thing. That is why I asked my best friend in the whole world for her advice. Your mother and I talked with Grace for a long time and shared everything with her." (OH GEEZ! Not everything!)

"We met together to talk for weeks before we made any decisions on how to help you. When we all agreed and decided what to do. Then we needed to figure out how best to do it. You helped us more than you know when you told Julia you decided you were going to apply for a job where Grace is the administrator and the Director of Nursing." I looked over to Mrs. Brown and she gave me a big smile. (So that's why all the appointments were made already! My mom told her!)

This signaled Mrs. Brown to start, "Ricky, few women have what it takes to care for others in need. They may be good mothers to their children, but when it comes to caring for others they just don't have enough heart and compassion. For a male to have these gifts is 'rarer' still. Let me ask you this. Why do you think so few men work in health care?"

I answered, "I really don't know. I guess they believe it is women's work caring for other people's personal and health needs. At least that is what happens with kids. They always go to their mothers when they are sick or hurt." That did start me thinking about that. I did not see any males working on the floor at the nursing home nor in the nurse's dining room.

She continued, "There are males working in this field, Ricky, there numbers are few but increasing. Like I said before it takes someone special to work in this field caring for others and their personal needs. They must have a sharing heart and a lot of compassion for others. You are one of these people Ricky!" She said that with a lot of conviction and force. Like she meant to convince me and there was no room for me to argue.

She went on, "You are blessed with a mother that loves you more than you will ever know. You have an aunt that loves you very much as well. Your sister and brother adore you and yet you do not realize the rare gift God has given you. You use it everyday and even under the most difficult of circumstances. I tested you very hard today. I put you in positions most boys would have run away screaming from. Yet, you did not do that. You might have wanted to, but you didn't. You took my criticisms and orders with hardly a protest. You were put in embarrassing situations and you held up well. Your complaints were few and mostly given during the most trying of circumstances for you. I just want you to know that you were tested today and passed with flying colors."

She smiled and looked at my mom and Aunt Harriet. They had big smiles on their faces and were crying. GEEZ! (Not Mrs. Brown though.) Mrs. Brown was in command and she continued, "What makes you so special to us, Ricky, is your qualities. Many boys and men would call them girl's or women's feelings. THEY ARE NOT! Don't you ever even think that they are exclusive to girls and women! The numbers of men in this field would skyrocket if they did not have these feelings suppressed by their parents and peers. Think about it. What is so bad for a boy to help with the housework to help cook and clean?

"During the war many women filled all the positions men held. They proved they could do it. They did this in addition to being mothers. Why is it so different for boys and men to fill roles formerly reserved for women? It is not! Could they do it? Yes, and they could do it well. The problem is with our system of separating everything. Girls do this and boys do that. That is wrong Ricky.

"The attitude we need is with sharing our duties with each other. We can learn so much from each other if we would only just let it happen. Instead many people judge each other harshly because they don't act like a person believes they should. Let me ask you Ricky when they call you a mama's boy at school what do you do?" (Oh so they told her that!)

I answered, "I ignore them because they just don't know what they are talking about. They don't know what it is to be needed. All they have to do is go to school, maybe do a few chores and then it's off to play or hang out. In a way I feel sorry for them. They just don't know anything about real life other than their own little worlds."

She smiled and my mother jumped in and asked me to tell Grace why I was suspended from school the last time. (OH CRAP!) Mrs. Brown gave me one of those questioning looks and Aunt Harriet just smiled that knowing smile she has.

So I told her, "The jocks, three of the popular football players liked to beat up on the smaller ones and the ones they felt were different. I was going to class and saw them beating on this kid while they were calling him a geek and a retard. I got mad and beat them up."

I tried to end it there but my mom told me to go on and tell the whole story. (GEEZ!) "Well, when I stepped in I told them idiots to pick on somebody their own size while I punched the biggest one in the eye. They stopped hitting on the little kid and started in on me. I don't really remember much but when it stopped I was standing and they were on the floor.

"A teacher was looking at me and asked me if I was all right. I had blood all over me and my nose was bleeding. Mrs. Jenkins, a special Ed teacher, took me to the nurse's office. The nurse wasn't there so Mrs. Jenkins helped me clean up and stop the bleeding. That took awhile and I started to feel very sore.

"It hurt to move my arms and was getting harder to breath. Mrs. Jenkins helped me take off my shirt and I had these red welts everywhere. Some were turning blue. She told me to sit tight and she made a phone call from the other room.

"Next thing I know was I heard sirens. It sounded like a few of them. Mrs. Jenkins came back and told me they were contacting my mother and she held an ice bag to my face and had me lay back leaning against the wall. I asked her about the sirens and she chuckled saying they were not for me. It wasn't that much longer when my mom came in and took me to the hospital. I had two broken ribs but it wasn't bad.

"This all happened on a Friday and the trouble didn't start until Monday morning. I was called to the principal's office. He told me I was lucky I wasn't arrested and that the parents of the other three kids were not going to press charges. He said I was in deep trouble with him and the coach though. They decided I had to be suspended from school for 7 days because I started the fight." (I laughed at that!) I shrugged my shoulders saying that was that.

Aunt Harriet jumped in then and said, "No, that is not all of it Ricky and you know it!" (GEEZ!) She continued of course! "You forgot to mention what the special class did for you and what the little boy and his mother did for you as well. Not to mention what Mrs. Jenkins did!"

I said, "That has nothing to do with why I was suspended and I do not want to talk about anymore ok?"

Mrs. Brown looked at me and Harriet said, "We will tell you later, Grace, he is too modest, again!" (Thank God that was over!)

Mrs. Brown started again, "Ricky you have a job now. I along with a few of the nurses and Mary, an Aide you met, are going to help you. You must give this a chance and it will be very difficult for you at times. Are you willing to give it your best effort?"

I told her I would give it my best. I added that, "I hope I do not let you all down."

All three said, "just do your best and you can never let us down." OK!

My mom suggested it was a good time for dessert. GREAT!!!! STRAWBERRY SUPREME! Did I mention already about strawberry supreme? My favorite of favorites!

While we walked back to the kitchen Aunt Harriet told me once I was finished I should go take a quick shower and to shampoo the hairspray out of my hair.

Mrs. Brown said, "Ricky, you should open the present from Lucy first, okay?"

I nodded and wondered what was in the package I might need. Shampoo probably. We had dessert and they were telling me after my shower Harriet was going to show me how to do my hair for work. Then it would be time for the fashion show! Oh CRAP! (I was tired.)

We had our dessert and Mrs. Brown went to get the present from Lucy for me. She brought it back and I had to open it in front of them and I did. Oh my! It had everything in it a girl could want! I swear it had stuff in it I would never use! (Can you dear readers guess what was in it?)

First I unwrapped it. The wrapping paper had little pictures on it of things used in hair care. It was tied with a white ribbon and had a little card attached. I opened it and read what it said. (Silently to myself.) (I knew this would drive them nuts.)

My mom told me to read it and I declined and just handed it to her. I opened the box and heard my mom laugh. She then handed it to Mrs. Brown. She laughed and then it was Aunt Harriet's turn and she laughed as well. The note read 'Welcome to our world where appearance is everything. I hope these little things will keep you as beautiful as we helped make you today. Until next month dear Ricky, all of us here are already planning for your next visit. Hugs and kisses, Lucy.'

Okay, on with the contents. In the box on the very top was a shower cap! It was a blue one. There was another thing under that in a package that had writing on it "HAIR BONNETT to keep your hair neat through the night." Oh brother! Under that were packages of Bobbie pins, combs, a hairbrush, a set of large curlers a bunch of small bottles, which I did not look at closely. A manicure set and several containers of nail polish. (Mostly clear, but one was white!) On the very bottom were several hairnets in various colors. Oh Great! There also were one of those eyelash torturing devices and an eyelash brush in a long clear bottle of liquid! OH FRAPST! I also found a pair of tweezers.

Aunt Harriet was looking at the bottles and left out two. She said, "Use these two for your shower. This one is a body wash. Use it instead of your bar soap. This other one is for your hair. Use only a little and shampoo your hair twice and rinse it real well each time, okay?"

I said okay and off I went. Leaving them to whatever they were going to do next.

I went into the bathroom to get ready to take my shower when I noticed my robe was missing! Oh no! In its place was a blue shiny one with a very wide neck opening. It had a note attached. It said, "From me to you, my favorite! Love and hugs Auntie Harriet." (OH GEEZ!) I tried it on and it just covered the top ends of my shoulders. It was just long enough to reach the tops of my knees! (OH CRAP!) I wonder where my other robe was? Must be in my room, but I had better wear this one tonight or "Auntie" would be hurt.

I jumped into the shower and opened the body wash and poured it onto my washcloth. Wow, what lather! It smelled good too. Not flowery like I had dreaded, but earthy. I liked it! Once I was done washing my body it was hair time. I opened the bottle of shampoo and it smelled the same as the body wash had. COOL! I did as I was instructed and washed and rinsed well twice. I was done, now to dry off and put on the robe.

Then I heard a soft knocking on the bathroom door. I wrapped my hair in a towel and put on the robe. It was Aunt Harriet. She said, "Good I caught you just in time. Is your hair still wet?"

I said, "Sopping wet I did not have time to even towel dry it yet."

She looked at me wearing the robe and smiled saying, "Oh. It fits you perfectly! Do you like it?"

What could I say? I told her, "It's nice, Aunt Harriet but it is a little short for me."

She shook her head and said, "That is the length it is supposed to be, silly. It will keep closed easier when you sit down to do your hair. You notice it is roomier than your other robe and wraps around you more." Ok. She took my hand and led me down stairs! (What is it with this holding my hand thing? Do all hairdressers do this?)

She led me into the kitchen still holding my hand and exclaimed, "Here he is!"

Oh brother, like they didn't know? My mom handed me another present (OH GEEZ!) so I opened it and it was a hand held hair dryer. It also had what is called a styling brush. I thanked her and Aunt Harriet told me to sit. She toweled my hair for a second or two and then started brushing while using my new hairdryer. (Wait, what about my underwear?)

I tried to look down to make sure she told me the truth about the robe but she yanked my head back and told me not to move! Okay. I felt with my hands and with relief I felt lots of robe. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mrs. Brown and my mom talking and smiling. I did not feel right not wearing any underwear! I was feeling self conscious about it. (Just hoping nothing rose to the occasion if you know what I mean!) I must have been getting red again because I noticed Mrs. Brown and mom had stopped talking and were looking at me with concern.

Aunt Harriet turned off the dryer and said, "Those waves held perfectly! Just look at that body your hair has now! This will be so easy for me to work with. So much better than your baby fine straight hair! To be honest, Ricky, that hair was a real pain to work with. All I could ever do was cut it and let it hang straight down. I wish you would have let me give you a soft perm." A what? A perm! Oh CRAP!

My mother then said, "Ricky what is wrong? You looked frightened about something." I told her how I was not used to not having anything on under my robe especially in front of anybody. They all laughed at that and she told me that I had nothing they have not seen before many times.

Mom added, "Harriet and I saw you completely naked just last week, honey. Did we embarrass you then?" WHAT? WHEN? She then went on with, "Remember when, Jerry (My little brother) walked out of the room leaving your door open? We both were coming up the stairs and you walked out to close the door remember?" OH NO!

I said, "You were coming up the stairs? I did not see you!"

Aunt Harriet laughed. "That was obvious, Ricky, you did not even try to cover yourself. So don't even think about shocking us with being naked, okay?" (OH CRAP!)

Mrs. Brown chuckled and said, "I am a nurse and you could not shock me if you tried." Now is this supposed to make me feel better? It didn't!

Aunt Harriet then asked what color hair tie I wanted to use. My mom jumped in and said, "Let's match them to each set of clothes he is modeling."

"That is a great idea," Harriet said. So, I was now ready to do the fashion show...

 

Oh boy, the fashion show! Your going to love this next chapter!

Angel

 

 

 

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