The Accident by Elaine © Elaine
My son Lawrence, our only child, was always a happy go lucky sort of chap. He played hard. Perhaps he played too hard to make up for his slight build and long girlish blonde hair. He was always getting into scrapes and accidents. He never heeded our warnings to be more careful and it was that perhaps that led to his eventual undoing.
Cycling home from school about eight years ago at his usual break neck speed, he took a bend too quickly and crashed into a car. He suffered a fractured femur and had severe abdominal injuries. I was telephoned at work with news of the accident and I then rushed to his bedside at the local sick kids hospital. There I met Amanda, my wife who was clearly visibly upset.
"I'm glad you're here at last," she said hugging and kissing me closely.
"What the hell happened?" I asked her.
"He was going too fast on that bike of his and he took quite a bad knock on the head, he has a fractured leg and abdominal injuries. They think he will make a recovery but it wont be a full one," she said.
"Why what's wrong?" I looked into her tear stained eyes thinking that a broken leg would mend as good as new at his age.
"When he came off, the handlebars of his bike penetrated and injured his lower stomach area and it damaged his manhood!" she said
"What damage did he do to his manhood?" I looked at her then it clicked when I saw the expression on her face. "Will he lose his penis?" I asked shocked at the thought.
"They reckon that he will never be able to father children! His penis and testicles suffered serious lacerations and the doctors say that they cannot be saved. They say that they will have to remove them before serious infection sets in. They were ruptured in the blow to his stomach. The doctor wants to speak to us now about the operation that he must do."
Amanda led me by the arm to the nearby office and we were quickly shown in by a waiting nurse.
"Well doctor what's the prognosis," I asked tears welling up in my eyes. I really felt sad for my 11 year old boy.
"Not good I'm afraid, your son suffered lacerations to his face and his leg is broken but it is his abdominal injuries that are really worrying us. His sexual organs are I'm afraid too badly damaged to save. The options are either total removal so that he is in effect a eunuch or a some sexual reassignment surgery so that we can turn him into a little girl."
"He hasn't started puberty yet and he has such a slight build that he may well make a convincing female. One that cannot conceive but he at least will be able to have some sexual feelings albeit in the sex he wasn't born in. My preferred option is the latter course but it is your decision."
"I'm not sure about this doctor, isn't there anything you can do to save his manhood?"
"Nothing I'm afraid and I've just had a second opinion from a colleague. I'm also afraid you two have only a few minutes to sanction this operation or we will have to remove his organs and leave nothing there. The sex change operation will take a little longer and be more complicated. My colleague Dr William's assures me that your son should still be able to have full feeling but only as a transsexual would."
"I see," I said trying to make time to talk about his other injuries.
"The stomach wound can be dealt with and we will have a surgical orthopaedic team here soon to fix his leg. His face around the nose was damaged and we would expect that to require some minor cosmetic surgery in a few days time. If he became a girl then it would make sense to give him some additional facial enhancements at the same time. That can wait in the meantime, the crucial thing is to do that genital surgery quickly," he said.
"I know you don't have much time Doctor but what will this do to him, he was always such a masculine boy. He was always getting into scrapes and stuff, how will he react to his loss and transformation."
"It's hard to say but some boys never make the adjustment correctly and it will be some time before we see whether he accepts the situation or rebels against it. With the removal of his testicles he will have no testosterone production and that should calm his wayward spirit a great deal. He will also require to take female hormones and that will make him even more compliant in his ways. In due course we will see that he will exhibit female body development such as growing breasts and more rounded hips. As he is prepubescent his voice will continue to remain high." He explained.
"In other words his life as a girl starts today," I concluded speaking out loud.
"I'm afraid so, does that mean you give permission to go ahead?"
"It looks like there is no alternative," I said looking at Amanda who still visibly worried with tears dripping from both eyes onto her dress. We signed the consent forms with a shaky hand.
The doctor shook my hand and said, "your son is in the hands of the best surgeons in the country, please don't worry. I'll be back as soon as I can to give you a report of how he is." With that he was gone. I sat down again and cuddled Amanda.
"To think I always wanted a little girl, I never ever thought it would be like this," she said slowly shaking her head as tears streamed down both cheeks. My wife's fertility problems had prevented us from having any other children.
"Look," I said. "We have to be positive, once this operation is over and it's a success as it should be, his life won't be in danger. He will be different but that means we will have to find a way to help him cope with this crazy situation."
Having watched a few late night programmes on the subject of cross dressers who did the transformation into women and were quite passable, I said. "He is young enough to learn a new outlook on life. He has a slight build and his hair always looked like a girls' style. He used to tell me that long hair was the fashion. Maybe now he'll think about getting it cut. Maybe he'll still be a tomboy. I just don't know."
I got up and went over to the nurse and explained that I would need to speak to someone about caring for my new daughter and how we should go about it. She said that she would talk to the other duty doctor and that she would come and see us when she had completed her ward round.
Soon the doctor was sitting with Amanda and me explaining that we would need to be referred to a psychiatrist to discuss Lawrence's treatment. The doctor gave us a phone number and I was soon arranging an appointment convinced that Lawrence was going to make a full recovery albeit missing his vital spark.
The receptionist gave me an appointment to see the psychiatrist at the same time the next day and I went back to console and cuddle into Amanda.
That two hours was the longest of my life not even when Amanda had been giving birth had I felt like this. The only thing we decided was that from now on Lawrence would be called Laura.
Our wait was ended when the doctor came out all covered in sweat and looking somewhat tired. He explained that the surgery had gone better than he had expected. Lawrence's fractured femur had been pinned and his face was cleaned up but would still need some minor attention. The reassignment surgery had gone very well. He was still sedated because of the pain he was in but he took us through to the recovery room. Lawrence looked to be sleeping peacefully despite the tubes in his arm and mouth. A small heart monitor showed that his heart was beating well and his temperature was normal.
"Sleeping the next 24 hours should help him a great deal and make the recovery better. We woke him up slightly after the surgery and we could tell he was still in a lot of pain, so we sedated him again and he will be like that now until tomorrow."
"Don't you mean 'She' Doctor," I reminded him.
"Yes of course," he said, "sorry about that but it does take some getting used to even for me."
"Tell me about it," I replied. "The easiest thing is if the nurses could change all his name labels to Laura from now on," I said. "We are all going to have to make the change sooner or later, I think it is better if we start now. The main thing is that he I mean she is alive and will have the best life we can provide for her."
That had been hard for me, as Lawrence was my best friend, he had loved to do things together with me as father and son. We did all the macho things such as going to the motor racing, football, hill climbing and riding our mountain bikes. There was no reason why Lawrence as Laura shouldn't do all these things too but it did seem to be difficult to imagine it.
I asked Amanda if she wanted to stay the night and she said yes that she wanted to stay in the parents room overnight. I told her that I would go home and take care of the domestic chores at home including feeding our pets and then I would relieve her in the morning.
Chapter 2 - A new beginning
The next day Laura was still pretty groggy after the long period under sedation and didn't really know where she was or what had happened to her. She continued to drift in and out of consciousness all day with the nurses giving her regular painkilling injections and dressing changes.
Of course I went to see the therapist and she gave me some insight on the problems faced by people who suddenly have to change sexual roles in mid-life.
She gave me cause for optimism though when she explained that Laura would indeed come to see the need to change her outlook but it would be hard to change her sexual identity. She might want to become a masculine woman and she may prefer lesbian type relationships rather than associate with men.
The doctor explained that the hormone therapy would curtail her competitive instincts and make her more compliant and emotional. It could take a few weeks or even months before she would attain the correct hormonal blood levels for a prepubescent girl..
The doctor agreed to see Laura for regular consultations when she was able to get around again. I then returned to the hospital and saw that Laura was still sedated and that Amanda had taken the chance to have some time to herself.
"Your wife said she was going out shopping and would be back later," a Nurse told me.
"How is Laura?" I asked.
"Sleeping at the moment and not in so much pain. I'm afraid she has her facial surgery scheduled for 11:00am tomorrow to repair the damage to her nose and face. The doctors also want to feminise her features a little too."
Poor Laura I thought, now she will have the face of girl to match her new body. I went over to her bed and she twitched slightly as if she were a dog dreaming she was chasing rabbits. I grasped her hand and couldn't believe it when I saw that her nails were filed to a point and she wore pink nail polish now.
I found a note from Amanda that said that she needed to get out for a couple of hours and had gone off shopping to buy some girl's clothes before coming back later.
I sat down and stared into her face and then for some reason she woke. "Hi dad," she smiled.
"Hi, how do you feel," I said as I grasped her hand conscious not to use her old name.
"Still sore between my legs and my nose feels sore," she replied.
"That'll pass soon. Do you want anything?" I asked.
"No dad, I'm glad you are here. I would like to go back to sleep," and with that she was instantly back asleep.
Pretty soon, Amanda returned and placed Laura's new clothes in her locker and we departed for the parents room. Amanda wanted to stay but I insisted that she go home with me. Laura would be sedated much of the night so it made sense to go home and get some much needed sleep before her next operation.
We spent the evening deciding how to convince Laura that the change was necessary and that it wouldn't be that bad.
Amanda declared, "I think I'm going to like having a daughter, she was always your son but I feel that Laura and I will get closer now. He, I mean she will have to learn a lot over the next few months to become a convincing girl."
"I hope that you won't turn her into a little frock wearing princess and that she will be able to do some of things she did before. I was thinking that we could get her a pony or a dog to keep her company."
Amanda, who used to ride horses until a few years ago, thought that buying a pony was a great idea and was keen to sound out Laura's opinion. "I could get a horse too and we could go out riding together," she enthused.
We both went to bed feeling pretty tired.
When we arrived back at the hospital at about 8:00am, Laura was now a little perkier. Her name tag now read Laura and she wore another pretty night-gown with lace trimmings. The nurses sensibly explaining that it would ease the discomfort of her rapidly healing abdominal surgery.
While we were there, the doctors came round and they quickly examined Laura's wounds and expressed themselves satisfied with the healing process. I looked over their shoulders and saw that where Lawrence's crown jewels had been was now a swollen, black and blue mound covered in a mass of stitches. The stitches extended around most of his crotch area and she even had some extending up her stomach towards her navel. The scars would eventually be covered by her pubic hair when that began to grow.
Her mother held her hand and squeezed it. "Honey how do you feel?"
"Pretty sore mum, what happened?"
"You had an accident darling, you are in hospital. You've had an operation they had to fix your leg and near the bottom of your tummy. You hit your head pretty hard too dear despite wearing your hard hat. Can't you remember?"
"Not very well Mum."
"Do you remember your name?" Asked Amanda.
"Lawrence?" she asked.
"No dear, your name is Laura," Amanda replied. "What age are you? Do you remember?"
"11 years old. Are you sure my name is Laura?" she asked looking at my wife as if she were deranged.
"Quite sure darling look at your name tag on your wrist and here above your bed. They both say Laura don't they?"
"I suppose so, is Lawrence my nickname?" "Yes darling, you were always a tom-boy and that's what landed you in hospital."
I chimed in, "how's daddy's little girl today?"
"Still sore dad," she said as she held my hand. "I'm not a little girl am I?"
"Yes you are dear, I'm afraid there is more to come, in a little while they are going to do an operation on your face because it was hurt in the accident too. At least this way all the operations are done at the same time and you get them all over with."
"What did I do to my face," she asked.
"It was cut up when you hit the ground, there was a lot of glass on the road and some has gone under the skin," I explained.
"The doctors say that you will be up in a few days and that you should make a good recovery. Pretty soon we will have you back on your bike and we can go riding together again. Your old bike was too badly damaged to repair, so I've ordered another for you with 18 gears and wide tyres." I took out a leaflet and handed it too her.
She looked at the leaflet and studied the picture of the lady's style mountain bike and looked back at me with a smile. "Dad this is a girl's bike I would like a boy's bike please."
"Why Laura, the girl's bike here will fit you perfectly it has the correct saddle, the correct frame and the correct gears for a girl. It should be plenty strong enough for you when you get better." I added. "Besides I ordered and paid for that model yesterday."
"Thanks Dad," she replied somewhat less than happy.
I opened up a bag and showed her, her new helmet which unlike her sporty boy's helmet was covered in little flowers and was coloured pink and yellow. "Your old helmet was destroyed in the accident so I got you a new helmet, I hope you like it," I said.
"It's smashing dad," she said, "but it's a bit too girlish for me."
"How do you mean honey?" I asked.
"Dad I like boy's things, not girl's things," she looked me with an indignant smile.
Amanda looked at me and I knew we were treading on dangerous ground, so I backed off. "OK," I said, "you can see how it looks when you get out of hospital," I added putting it back in its box.
Just then one of the prettiest nurses I had ever seen arrived and announced that she thought that Laura could get up for a little while. We lifted Laura into a chair while they remade her bed. She held on just like a girl with her arm around my neck just in case I dropped her. As I laid her down I kissed her on the cheek and the nurse quickly covered her with a pink blanket but not before she saw she was wearing a frilly night-dress instead of pyjamas.
"The reason's simple, pyjama's would hurt you too much between your legs," her mother said when Laura asked the question.
Amanda then produced all the new clothes that she had bought. I saw that they included a couple of pairs of white knee high socks, half a dozen pair of panties, a training bra and a yellow and orange sun dress. Also in the pile was a pair of girl's style lilac coloured trainers with Polly Pocket dolls stitched in the sides. All these items were replaced in her locker and she winced visibly when she saw them.
My wife then added some Barbie comics and two new dolls of Barbie and Ken. "I thought you might like something to read and play with and these were all I could find."
"Thanks Mum," said Laura who was starting to nod off to sleep and who didn't yet associate the gifts with the female gender. Soon she was fast asleep on the chair. At around ten, a nurse arrived and gave Laura, her pre-med injection. An hour later and Laura was heading back to the operating theatre. Fortunately she slept through the trip to the theatre.
The plastic surgeon told us that he was going to remould Laura's face slightly, she would have a less pointy chin, smaller and rounded nose, fuller lips and a slight slant in both eyes. He would repair the damaged skin tissue at the same time. He also said that he would check her facial proportions so that the distances between her eyes, nose and lips corresponded to that of a female. He finished by saying that. "Look I don't want you to get you too upset but after this operation, Laura will look worse than she does now, but when the healing is over she will look absolutely gorgeous. I want you trust me."
"Will she be in a lot of pain doctor?" I asked.
"Some but she is already receiving treatment for pain, so she should be OK. Now I'll see you both back here in a couple of hours, I suggest that you go and have an early lunch as there is no sense in hanging around here." With that he was gone as he went back towards the theatre.
We returned back to the ward about 2:30pm to find Laura and her face swathed in bandages. There was two small openings for her eyes and even her mouth was covered up. She would get her sustenance by a tube feeding through her mouth for a few days and by drip into her right arm. By her bed she still had the urine bag that no longer contained the blood redness of earlier in the day.
We would spend the next few days with her, helping her adjust to this terrible ordeal as best we could.
Chapter 3 - The healing starts
Three days following the facial surgery, Laura was beginning to perk up again and it helped when both sets of surgeons arrived to remove and replace her dressings.
The plastic surgeon was well pleased with his results. When he had removed the miles of bandages that surrounded her head, it was soon obvious that the results of the accident would leave only very minor scarring. His handiwork had changed her appearance significantly. Looking past the swelling was difficult but it was possible to see her new pouty lips, her more tapered eyebrows and eyes and that her pointed nose and chin was gone. Laura asked for mirror but it was refused on the grounds that she would be too distressed if she saw the bruising.
Next the surgeon came up and started removing her bandages and the packing out of her new vagina. Again it seemed that miles and miles of bandages came out of that small orifice and she pronounced herself happy with the healing process and the lack of infection.
"We can also take the catheter out now, Laura it looks like you are going to be a very pretty and healthy girl very soon."
The doctor and got up and left the nurse to tidy up and Laura now wide awake asked her first question to Amanda. "Mum, am I really a girl now?"
"Why do you ask?" Amanda fired back.
"Oh it's just that I could have sworn that I was a boy."
"Now that your bandages have come off dear it is easy to see that you really are a girl. Maybe the accident has re-arranged your brain," she said laughing.
Soon we were all laughing at Laura who also saw the funny side.
"Mum if I'm a girl why did I dream last night that I kissed Lorraine at school?"
"Did you? That's odd," she said. "Maybe it's because you thanked her for something. Girls always thank other girls by kissing them."
"No mum this was a hard kiss on the lips and I dreamt that my Willie got hard while I was doing it."
"Laura I think the pretence is over now," said Amanda.
"How do you mean?" the little boy/girl answered.
"You are Laura now and I'm afraid you always will be a girl from now on. When you were in the accident you damaged your pee-pee so much that the doctors have had to remove it. They have turned you into Laura our new daughter instead of Lawrence our tearaway son."
Laura looked on incredulously as Amanda explained why and what the doctors had done.
"So I'm a girl now? But I don't want to be a girl, I want to go back to being a boy."
"I'm sorry Laura but that isn't possible any more sweetheart. You will have to grow up to be a woman to match your new body. The doctors have decided to give you special medicine and that will help you adjust to your new life.
"Will I have to wear dresses and girl's clothes all the time?" she asked suddenly wide eyed.
"Not if you don't want to but it will look strange if you go around in jeans and a T-shirt all the time."
"Will I have to wear a bra?" Laura suddenly asked.
"Yes dear as you grow older, you will grow breasts and you will need to wear bras to support them just like I do.
"Mum your breasts are so large, will mine be as big as yours?" she asked.
"I shouldn't think so dear but they will go to what ever size nature intends."
"Mum I don't want to grow breasts, wear girl's clothes and become a woman," Laura started crying in an uncontrollable fashion.
As we tried to comfort her, the doctor hearing the commotion came over.
"What seems to be the problem," she asked and I explained what had just happened and that despite a promising start, Laura was not going to accept this transition without a fight.
"That's a pity but forced gender changes can be difficult. You will need to be patient and just show Laura the advantages of her new sex. Some professional psychiatric help and counselling will help you."
"I hope so, Doctor," I said as she left to go back to her theatre list.
Laura just lay there just sobbing her pretty eyes out.
"Mum I need to go to the toilet now." Said Laura.
"OK I'll ring for a bedpan."
"No Mum, I want to do it in a real toilet," she replied.
The nurse brought a wheelchair commode over and soon Laura was wheeled into a large cubicle at the end of the ward. She was back in bed with a smile on her face.
"Dad it's the weirdest thing I wanted to put my hands down to hold it but there is nothing there and my pee just went everywhere. I'm sure that it went everywhere except in the bowl."
Amanda then took her hair brush and started to brush Laura's hair out and fashion it in a more female style before we went home for the night. Soon she had tied it into a pretty pony tail and despite not having been cleaned for a few days, her hair shone.
"Thanks mum, that feels better," she said patting her head with the only hand that did not contain an IV tube.
"Mum when can I go home?"
"I don't know darling that just depends on how quickly you get better.
"I'm going to get better very quickly, you wait and see."
Chapter 4. The long haul to womanhood begins
Laura was good as her word within two weeks she was ready to leave hospital despite still being in some pain from her pinned leg and the surgery in her genital area. The poor child had endured a whole series of medications, blood tests and hormone injections to start her therapy. In that time Laura had begun to accept her new role especially when she was shown by her nurse how to dilate her new vagina regularly.
"Mum it was very painful the first time Sheila did it but now it's not so bad. She gave me a set of the dilators and I have to do it five times a day. Watch," and Laura promptly displayed her prowess with the dilators over the next 20 minutes and Amanda watched on incredulously at Laura's new smoother sexual appearance.
Soon Amanda was helping her into that pretty sun dress, panties, ankle socks and smart girl's sandals.
"Mum. Do I have to wear this stuff?" Asked Laura just as Amanda finished dressing.
"I'm afraid so dear, your stomach wound is still oozing slightly and the doctors have said that tight jeans or trousers are out for the time being and the only dress you have here is this pretty sun dress," she said as she slipped the dress over the new girl's head. "Here give these chocolates to the nurses as a thank you."
"Oh Mum do I have too?"
"Yes darling they have looked after you for the last three weeks and I think that a box of chocolates is the very least we can do to show our appreciation."
I watched with some pride as my new little girl thanked the nurses who had helped her. "We will see you in a few weeks when you come for your check up," said one and the others crowded round Laura's wheelchair.
Soon we were speeding home and I carried Laura up to her bedroom. She was disappointed to see that virtually all of her male toys were gone and in their place was a series of girl's toys such as a doll's house, and her racing car wallpaper had been redecorated with the poem taken from a children's nursery rhyme.
Over the last two weeks and Amanda had styled Laura's hair into a more feminine style and allowed her nails to grow out. She also wore night-dresses all the time.
After I set her down on her bed and started to help her undress, she exclaimed, "Dad my skin feels funny."
"How do you mean funny?", I asked.
"It feels softer somehow," she declared pointing to her chest area.
"There's nothing to worry about, it's probably the first sign that your breasts are beginning to grow," I tried to say it in a matter of fact style but it came over all wrong with Laura reacting violently.
"Dad I don't want to grow breasts I just want to stay as I am," she started crying again but in a boyish fashion and beating me with her fists as I moved away.
"Look Laura, your body and your mind will adjust to the changes that will happen to you over the next few years, the change to a girl was the only option open to you. " I lied but life as a eunuch seemed horribly wrong.
"Right now I do. I just wish I was dead. How can I be a convincing girl when I've spent all my life as a boy," she sobbed.
"That's all in hand, we have engaged a teacher to help with your schooling and female deportment. She knows all about you and she has agreed to help with your transition before you attend your new school in two months time."
"What new school?" She asked in between sobs.
"Your mother and I have decided to send you to a private girls school and you will have to be convincing in your movements and attitude if you do not want to be rumbled by the other girls," I said.
"Dad I don't want to be a girl and I don't want to go to a girl's school."
"I'm sorry Laura but that's not possible anymore."
I left the youngster sobbing her eyes out as I went downstairs to help her mother prepare supper. This was going to be harder than I thought, each time Laura seemed to be against what had happened. It seemed impossible to make her see that the option that was taken was the only one available. Deep deep down she was still a boy. Then again I hadn't exactly been tactful with the truth. This was never going to be easy.
Amanda gave up on the cooking and waded in with both barrels when she went upstairs. "What is going on here Laura?" she shouted. Even I winced when I heard her let go at Laura. "I want you to stop these tantrums and accept the fact of who and what you are. You are a little girl now like it or not, the sooner you face that fact and that you will grow into a woman the better it will be for you."
Laura sobbed as Amanda continued in a softer tone. "Laura it will not be so bad, you will be able to do all of the things that you did before and you will also be able to do girl's things too. Remember when you turned your nose up at riding a pony because it was something that boys didn't do, well you can have one of your own now. Girls can have even more fun than boys, you will see."
Tears still streaming down her face Laura said, "Will you help me mum, I don't think I can face this on my own."
"Yes dear, your daddy and I will help you as much as we can. A new lady will be arriving later this month who will help you make the necessary changes. Come on let's get you cleaned up and we'll go out shopping tonight for some new clothes for you."
Laura was pretty proficient on her crutches and soon negotiated the stairs to sit down on the toilet bowl. Soon our new daughter was ready to leave, her crutches pinned under her arms. Her long hair was brushed by Amanda into a pony tail held with a pink hair band and she added a little blusher to her cheeks.
Soon we were at the shopping centre and we bought three pairs of girl's slacks, two pair of jeans, three skirts, two dresses, some blouses, tights and knee high stockings. Plus there were more cotton panties, training bras and two pairs of T strap shoes for school plus a pair of wooden sole sandals with a 1" heel.
On the way back to the car, we passed a jewellers store and Amanda dragged Laura inside and told me to go with the purchases back to the car. When they emerged, I had loaded up the stuff into the boot but Laura sported two new gold sleeper studs.
She was crying. She was adamant that she didn't want them but it was no use, her mother had other ideas. Pretty soon we were home and she went back up to her room to lie down.
Over the next few days Amanda continued on her feminisation programme, she quickly booked a trip to the hair dressing salon and Laura now sported a very feminine hairstyle of curly hair that framed her face in waves.
Soon it was time for Laura to go back to hospital and we went back hoping to hear good news. There were the usual x-rays of Laura's leg fracture and they showed that her leg was now fully weight bearing. The doctor who performed the SRS pronounced the operation a great success and Laura reported feeling sensations in her new clitoris when it was touched. The plastic surgeon was less happy and declared that a further small operation on her hair line would be needed.
Laura was given a booster injection of hormones and was then free to walk out on crutches. We went to see a movie on the way home but it wasn't the adventure yarn that Laura wanted to see. Amanda dragged us into a romantic comedy.
Chapter 5 - Advice and help
Wearing clothes, removing her private parts and injecting female hormones would not be enough though to prepare Laura for life as a female. Laura would need a special feminisation programme that would produce all the required new mannerisms, life interests, expressions and different reactions to outside stimuli.
In short Laura must act and talk just like a girl in all areas. It was soon apparent that we would need to pay a visit to the psychiatrist I met just after the accident. A week after Laura's first out-patient hospital appointment I had arranged a meeting with Amanda and the psychiatrist.
The doctor seemed overly enthusiastic about helping us achieve our objective.
"She is certainly physically convincing," she explained, "there are however little touches that give her away. The way she speaks, the way she moves and there is a lack of feminine role playing."
"How do we go about fixing that?" I asked.
"We have to start by observing all of Laura's masculine traits and find ways to eliminate or reduce them. For example if Laura wants to play with boys in tough games then that must be punished and female games with other girls should be rewarded and encouraged. It won't happen in two weeks and could well last for the next two years or more before we are truly satisfied."
"Your wife will have to play an important role and also her school teacher must be aware of the problems. We want to encourage the swishy walking, the feminine arm and hand movements and feminine voice inflection and discourage all her male traits. The treatment I propose will be hard work but it should correct the gender identity problems and relieve the associated emotional adjustment problems."
"We would expect the major portion of the treatment of Laura to take place both at home and at school. However I would also expect Laura to visit here when we will have one of my female assistants interact with her to check on her progress."
"While Laura thinks that she is waiting to go in to see me, she will be asked to stay with the assistant for up to 20 minutes or so and each visit will be spaced 2 weeks apart."
"During the first sessions, my assistant will talk but the conversation will be limited to non-leading direct answers to any of Laura's questions. My assistant will refrain from initiating any conversation, but will attend positively to all of Laura's talk irrespective of gender references."
"During all the remaining sessions my assistant will not respond to Laura's questions regarding masculine topics but will give short, nonleading, direct answers, expressing positive interest in any feminine or neutral topics."
"Whenever Laura asks any questions relating to a masculine topic, the assistant will sound disinterested by saying, "I'm not interested" or "I'm not going to talk about that or my assistant will withdraw her attention by looking away or reading a book or newspaper."
"We can record her conversations during these sessions to see whether there has been any improvement in the female component of Laura's speech. We should see whether she reacts positively over a long period."
"It will be in the home that the biggest change must occur. Amanda you will be asked to reinforce her behaviour by the use of a reward system for feminine behaviour. This could include sweets, TV access time, activities and outings."
"For each act of feminine behaviour you can give a pink token and these can be exchanged for some reward according to a "price list" you can set. Say five tokens for a packet of sweets."
"I suggest that pink tokens are awarded for any feminine behaviour or play with friends and relatives, while you must also issue blue tokens for certain male gestures or body language."
"Like what, Doctor?" asked Amanda.
"Say not keeping her legs or ankles together or crossed while sitting even when wearing slacks. After a period of several weeks without this gesture then you could move on to deal with other problem areas such as masculine speech content and low voice inflection while maintaining the first behaviour trait."
"Laura will need to interact with other girls regularly. Does she have any girl friends or relatives of the same age?"
"Yes the neighbours have two young girls and she has a couple of cousins who live nearby," I responded.
"I suggest that you invite them round to play with Laura regularly," she said. "The play period needn't be too long but it should help Laura relate to the girl side of things."
"The feminisation process must consist of suppressing her masculine behaviour while building up and reinforcing the feminine."
"At School we will need the help of her teacher. I propose that at the beginning of each day, Laura will be awarded 10 points and during the day, the teacher will have the right to deduct a point for any disturbance, rudeness, teasing or bullying of the other girls in the class or in the playground."
"After each incident, Laura will be told that she has lost a point for the bad behaviour and each point will equate to a loss of two minutes free time at breaks."
"After the bad behaviour has stopped, the penalties can be extended to include masculine gesture mannerisms. Laura would also lose one point for each masculine gesture or trait, in addition to the bad behaviour. I will praise Laura for overcoming these mannerisms at home, and express confidence that she could similarly overcome them at school."
"How will you know that your methods are working?" I asked.
"By careful measurement and observation. Then after a period we will have Laura back in the clinic here for more observations. As I said this process will take a few years to complete. At the end, I'm confident that Laura will be showing feminine deportment, mannerisms and speech inflection."
"All of this will require a great deal of support and reassurance from you as parents. I'm sure that remnants of her male past will re-emerge from time to time particularly when she is anxious, nervous or upset."
"I would encourage you Amanda to take her out with you as often as possible to meet your lady friends and for her to associate with adult females as a reinforcing measure. She will learn to interface so much more effectively with people of her new gender."
"You should also try to discourage participation in very physical or confrontational sports such as football or even some girl's games such as hockey or netball. Her exercise should be confined to running and gymnastics."
"Doctor, I should mention that we have hired a governess for Lawrence and she starts in a couple of days." I said just as we were about to leave.
"Please you must start calling her Laura at all times, you can't expect the child to change if you don't." The doctor replied.
"Sorry it won't happen again," I declared feeling chastised.
"This governess is she aware of the situation?" The doctor asked.
"Yes that was the main reason she took the job, she was very keen to get involved."
"Right I think I had better see her after she arrives, perhaps she could bring Laura here on her first visit next week. While Laura is here talking to my assistant I could get her up to speed. What's her name?"
Her name is Smith, Sally Smith," I replied.
She took a note of her name and gave us an appointment for Laura in a week's time.
As we left to go towards the car, Amanda said, "Laura is going to have to work hard to get the rewards."
I corrected her, "we are all going to have to work hard to deal with this."
There it was Laura would have a tough time over the next few months or even years until she accepted her new female role in society.
Chapter 6 - Sally arrives
Sally Smith parked her little Metro next to my big 4 x 4 and walked quickly to the back door where I greeted her with a warm handshake and a smile. She was very attractive and not what I expected her to be.
She wore a pretty green dress and green sling back shoes with a 2" heel to match her hand bag. She immediately asked, "I wonder if you could help me with my bags in the boot of my car."
"Sure," I said. "After I lift them out can you park over there in the corner, that will be your parking spot from now on."
Soon I had her heavyweight cases upstairs and on her bed in the spare room. She was a pretty girl with lovely blue eyes, a warm smile and an athletic five foot ten frame. She was not beautiful but she certainly was pretty. Her chest sported a couple of C cup breasts. Her ears were pierced and she wore a pair of long pearl drop earrings. She was elegant and sported immaculate makeup with her eyes accentuated by mascara and dark eye shadow. Pouting red lips completed the look.
"By the way I am Laura's father Robert, pleased to meet you," I said. "My wife is out shopping with Laura right now but she should be back soon."
I joked referring to her bags, "What have you got in there, a ton of bricks?"
"No just some personal belongings such as books and journals I need to do my job," she said opening the case to reveal volume after volume on child psychology.
"How is Laura? The last I heard she was just about due to come out of hospital. Has she made a good recovery? Has she accepted her new sex?" she fired question after question at me.
"She is physically fine now, she has lost her crutches and her sex change surgery has healed well. Her mental problems are the biggest concern," I said and I then sat on the bed to discuss the problems and the possible solutions.
"So you see that your presence will be crucial to Laura's future development as a woman." I said.
"I hope that I can help, this is really a most unusual and interesting case," she answered sitting on the chair alongside the bed.
"How do you mean?" I asked.
"It should provide an interesting insight into how a male adjusts to becoming a female. I think that it would make a fascinating book," she replied.
We chatted at length and we both decided that a book on the subject would not be a bad idea. I gave her my permission to take notes and a diary and I agreed to contact some book publishers.
We soon got chatting on other subjects and I found out more about her than I dared hoped. She was extremely interested in the subject of transsexualism. She told me that she was sure that this change forced on Laura by accident could be forced and made to work on males such as sex offenders or other unruly boys.
"So what you are trying to tell me is, if a man commits a rape you would have no guilt about taking away his manhood and converting him into a woman?" I asked.
"I have always believed that the punishment should fit the crime," she laughed.
"I think that the punishment would be more severe than the crime in that case," I replied.
"Perhaps you are right," she relaxed. She kicked off her shoes and stretched.
"Tired?" I asked.
"Yes a little, I hate driving on dark nights, I always feel tired afterwards," she said softly.
"OK. Why don't you get some sleep, I will waken you when Laura comes home."
Not long after the invitation was made, I was pleased to discover that Sally had indeed fallen asleep. I went back to kitchen and followed my wife's instructions about making supper.
I loved cooking and I didn't often get the chance to do it. So I had great fun making some unusual dishes. I loved vegetables and produced some home made vegetable soup and some extra portions of creamed potatoes and leeks. Just right I thought to go with my Pork Chop casserole.
Dinner was nearly ready when everybody arrived at once. Laura came running in and shouted "Daddy" as she gave me a warm hug.
"Hi sweetheart," I replied "Had a good day?"
"Yes Daddy, Mummy bought me some new dresses and a swimming costume," she cried.
"Well how about us going swimming in a little while," I asked. "We haven't done that for ages."
Just then Amanda arrived carrying some bags from the car. "Please get the others," she said looking at me with her usual week woman look..
Obviously hearing the commotion, Sally also entered and sat down still looking a little bleary eyed. "Hi Laura I am Sally," she said as she sat on the stool near the oven.
Laura stayed by my side unsure of this new lady visitor.
"I am to be your new personal teacher Laura," Sally continued. "It is my job to turn you into a young lady."
Laura went up to the young woman and shook her hand. "Will you help me to become like you?" Laura asked.
"Well not exactly like me but I hope that in time you will become a modern girl like me," she smiled.
"Dinner is served," I shouted loading up the serving dishes. "Dinning room everybody. Sally please take a tray."
Soon we were all eating the food. "You are a good cook," said Sally to me.
"I try," I blushed.
"No honestly this is very tasty," she returned. My wife and Laura agreed.
"Well they say that men do make the best chefs," I laughed.
The meal went well and everybody welcomed Sally formally.
"Laura please help me clean up these dishes," said Sally.
"It will be your job to clean up after supper, your father has other things to do and you must do your share of the household chores now."
She agreed to help surprising everyone because Laura was not predisposed towards house work or helping around the house.
Chapter 7 - Developments
Sally began almost at once schooling the new girl. Over the following weeks, Sally and Laura became inseparable. Laura clung to her every move and it was obvious that the young woman was beginning to have an effect on Laura's attitude towards her new gender. Each day I could see changes. She was becoming more female. Her mannerisms, her attitudes and her willingness to help around the house where the clearest evidence that the process was going smoothly.
After about three months, Sally and I spoke one night when Amanda had gone to bed with a migraine headache and Laura was doing her homework upstairs.
"Can I see you for a moment?" asked Sally knocking on my workshop door.
"Sure I am just coming out," I replied switching off the wood turning machine I had been using. I hung up my apron and walked outside into the late summer evening. We sat on the picnic bench I had put together earlier in the year and she started talking.
"I think that Laura has accepted her new gender too well," she started.
"Too well, that's good isn't it?" I replied.
"Yes and no," she said.
"Well what is the problem?" I asked.
"Obviously she still has some remnants of her male past but she is keen to explore her new sexuality," said Sally.
"You mean she wants to have sex now?" I asked. "She is only 12." I continued referring to Laura's 12th birthday a week earlier.
"No I don't mean that," she replied. "No she wants to know how she should behave towards men and what happens when she has sexual intercourse when she is older."
"Oh I see," I said suddenly relieved.
"I will have to give her some sex education, so that she is prepared for what lies ahead," said Sally. "That's fine with me. I cant talk with her man to man anymore, so woman to woman is fine with me," I said.
"OK I will start tomorrow. Her adjustment has been superb. On the outside she looks and sounds like a bubbly 12 year old girl now."
"I just hope that on the inside that she is adjusting to all this." I replied.
"I think she is, it is quite remarkable how able she has become."
"How do you mean?" I asked.
"You need to look at her closely but you can see small mannerisms developing. The way she moves her hand through her hair or flicks it out of her eyes. She loves to wear jewellery and I counted three rings on her hand. She has just had a second set of studs inserted in her ear lobes and she loves long dangly earrings."
All this came as quite a shock to me. I had been caught up with my work and hobbies that I hadn't noticed the changes going on.
"I'm obviously missing something here. I try to look out for her and support her, My work commitments mean that I only see her for a few hours a day."
"I know how you must feel," she replied. "There is no need to feel guilty."
"It can be difficult working and finding the time to devote to all this." I gestured in the direction of the house.
"You don't need to worry, Laura needs more female influence in her life, in many ways your not being around will help."
"OK," I replied.
With a week to go before the start of the school term, Laura went with Sally and Amanda for her new school uniform and returned with a green blazer, blouses, a green kilt and green and black tights. Amanda bought a pair or two of flesh coloured tights and Laura wore them under her dress to go my parent's anniversary celebrations.
When she moved to school, her behaviour reports improved along with her grades. Laura seemed to be adjusting fine to the changes imposed on her new body.
She wore skirts and dresses all the time. She would wear her hair in all manner of female styles. Her interest in boyish things diminished to such an extent that she never used the mountain bike I bought her. She claimed the saddle was too sore on her new nether regions.
After six months we went back to the hospital and she had her small face operation to lower her hairline slightly.. That made a big difference to her face and she no longer looked or appeared as a boy in skirts. She was our little girl now.
Her mother would encourage her deportment and movement. She would buy her new clothes and shoes and each time Laura would gush enthusiasm when she was handed a shopping bag.
There was some trauma associated with the first sign that her breasts were developing. Her hormone regimen was fairly light in the beginning but at the age of 13 the doctors decided that this should be kicked up a gear and she had to take her first significant doses of female hormones.
Within a few weeks, she started complaining of tenderness in her chest and breast area. Obviously I was not party to these changes like Amanda and Sally but I was able to notice them all the same.
"Dad, look at me now," she cried as she ran through to my den after a shopping trip to buy some new lingerie. Sure enough she sported two modest budding breasts that peaked from out from her tight sweater.
"You look really cute dear," I said giving her a fatherly hug.
"Sally says, that I will need a bra from now on," she said excitedly.
"You don't mind that do you?" I asked.
"No dad, I have seen Mummy's and I want them too," she giggled.
"That's good," I said looking at the smile across her face. "Pretty soon you will be all grown up, so don't wish your life away."
"Mummy says I am lucky because I wont have periods like other girls but I know that I am growing up now," she pointed and looked down at her tiny assets again.
It was not always so happy. There were periods of depression when she would realise that her male past was gone and that she would have to be female. Part of that was also related to her expanding chest. Within a year the hormone treatment had had a marked increase in her bust line and she was a natural 32b.
Her hair was allowed to grow out too and soon was way past her shoulders. Sally and Amanda insisted on it being carefully cut and styled and it was always bouncy and healthy.
Whenever we went out we insisted that Laura wore a skirt or a dress. She wore them sometimes under protest but she wore them all the same. All these influences had an effect on her demeanour and slowly she came round that this change would not be so bad after all.
Perhaps the most influencing factor was the marriage of my younger sister Gayle. Gayle had always taken an interest in Laura's development since her accident and had jokingly said that when she got married Laura could be a bridesmaid.
Of course Gayle wanted a conventional wedding with dresses, church and reception like any normal girl and that meant that Laura would have to be fitted for a dress.
At first things went well but soon Laura began to rebel against the idea of wearing such a pretty dress and wearing her first high heels.
"Mum, I cant walk in these," she said when her mother handed her the two inch court shoes.
"Why ever not?" Amanda asked back. "All girls like to wear heels."
"This dress is so long it touches the ground. I will fall flat on my face," Laura remarked ignoring the comment about the heels.
"Look let's get you changed and then tell me how you feel," Amanda said.
A silent Laura stood patiently as all the lingerie and clothing was fitted and she took her first steps in heels.
"Well?" Quizzed her mum.
"I like it sort of," said Laura.
"Sort of?" asked Amanda.
"No Mum, I like it a lot. Am I really pretty now?" Laura asked smiling.
"You do look very pretty dear, take a look in the mirror in my bedroom," said Amanda.
Soon Laura was traipsing back and gushed "I like it a lot," and she took her lace covered hands and swished the long skirt backwards and forwards.
"How do I look Dad?" she rustled over to me.
"Perfect, absolutely perfect," I said looking up from my newspaper.
"Thanks dad," she gushed and she kissed me on the cheek and then wiped the lipstick off.
"Lipstick too," I said.
"Yes mummy says I should wear it now," she said showing me a lovely smile framed with pink colour.
After that, the wedding went very well with Laura's photographs in her bridesmaid dress confirming in her mind her new role in society. We had a picture framed and mounted above the mantelpiece. Laura's interest in female fashion took off and of course we had little option but to encourage it. She had a huge wardrobe full of female clothes.
A few months after the wedding, I walked into the lounge to see her seated wearing a dress with her legs tucked under her watching a programme on satellite TV. She wore a pair of tan coloured stockings, her nails were long and pointed but devoid of polish while her hair glistened and shone down the middle of her back.
"Hi dad," she said as she continued to watch the girl's programme.
"Hi Laura, please move your feet, I would like to sit for a while."
"OK dad," she replied and she pulled her legs out from under her and re-arranged her skirt.
"So how is my baby today?" I asked.
"Fine Dad," she said still watching TV.
"Can we talk without this?" I asked pointing towards the television which had just entered an advertisement break and I switched it off.
"Dad I was watching that," she sounded irked at my show of authority.
"I just wanted to know how you were," I said.
"OK Dad, I am just fine," she replied.
"Good, can I have a cuddle?" I asked.
"Sure Dad," and she moved towards me.
I could smell her clean shining hair as I kissed her forehead. I drew back and looked into her face.
"Laura you look like a very pretty young woman now, the boys are going to be after you soon," I said.
"I know dad, I notice them looking at me now when I go shopping," she replied.
"How do you feel about that?" I asked.
"I kind of like it, knowing they find me interesting," she said. I could hear her nylon covered legs scrape together as she crossed them to reveal some additional thigh.
"Your school reports are very good, your progress has astonished the doctors and your teacher. Your mother and I have discussed the possibility of a reward and we are going to have a long holiday in the sun in a couple of weeks time." I replied.
"Where are we going?" she asked suddenly very interested in what I had to say.
"Well your mother and I thought that a couple of weeks in the Caribbean might be good for us," I said hoping that Laura would agree.
"Wow," she said agreeing. "Can Sally come too?"
"Yes she can come too, the tickets are booked. We decided to give her a reward for all her hard work and success with you," I answered.
That holiday had a special significance as they marked our last venture together as a family. Amanda's increasing frequent painful headaches had been diagnosed as a rare disorder and she was dying. That sad loss had a pronounced affect on Laura and I told her that I expected her to be the lady of the house from now on.
"No dad, you will marry Sally now, I know it," Laura replied.
Chapter 8 - Full Circle
The years passed quickly and as she eased past her 18th birthday, Laura turned into a beautiful and elegant young woman. Although she loved the latest fashions, she has also turned into a sensible and balanced individual. Her training and eventual acceptance of her new sex had seen her transform into a beautiful swan.
She had a long tall body and topped my five foot nine inch frame by one inch. Her fashion sense was always tasteful. She wore slacks most of the time but when she wore a dress her long legs were a match for any woman. Apart from a little lipstick she very rarely wore make-up and her complexion was healthy and red.
Like any other father, I worried about my daughter. I would ask where she went at night and to call me or her step-mother immediately she needed help with anything. Shortly after Laura's 16th birthday, Sally and I exchanged wedding vows with the apparent blessing of Amanda who had left some hand written messages hidden in her belongings.
"I can take care of myself," she told me. "I know where a guy is weakest."
"Yes but don't get yourself into that position, please." Sally would say.
It was obvious though Laura' behaviour would eventually lead to a relationship with a man or woman. It was a couple of months after her 18th birthday when she brought home a 20 year old student she had met at college.
"Dad this is Iain." she announced proudly one Friday evening when she came home early from a night out.
"Pleased to meet you, Mr .....," he said reaching forward to shake my hand.
"Hello," I replied nonchalantly. "How did you meet my daughter?" I asked crossing my arms under my chest.
"We met in the refectory at college. All her books fell out the bottom of her bag and I helped her pick them up."
"Oh yes?" I asked smiling now.
"Well we sat down and talked. We agreed to have a date and we got on really well together. Laura has the same taste in things as me."
"Like what?" I asked as Laura looked on somewhat concerned that I should quiz her boyfriend like that.
"Music and literature mainly. We have the same interest in a variety of other things too."
"So you like my daughter?" I asked. "Do you want to get married?"
"Yes I like your daughter. We have only known each other a few weeks so it is too early to talk about weddings. Besides we have our studies to do."
"Marriage wouldn't be possible until your courses are finished?" I asked wondering how he would reply.
"No sir and even then, you see Laura told me about her past and that she is a transsexual," he replied.
"And?"
"And we would have to leave the UK for a place where transsexuals can legally get married," he continued.
"So you do want to marry her?" I asked again.
"I am not sure. All I know that she is a lovely individual." He replied.
At that point Sally arrived home and entered and wondered what was going on. She seemed happy with Laura's choice of boyfriend and I slowly warmed to him too.
Nothing but the best was good enough for Laura who eventually left to set up a home with Iain near his parent's home in Newcastle. Laura deciding that a career as a nurse would suit her.
Sally and I still see her regularly on flying visits. Nobody would know that she wasn't a real girl now.
Her wavy hair is now right down her back, her body looks curvy in all the right places and she is still my little girl.
THE END
Footnote: If you have any comments or constructive criticism regarding this story I would be happy to hear from you. Nothing in this story should be construed to be the actual course of treatment that a trauma victim such as Laura would actually receive.
Regards - Elaine.w@cwcom.net - November 1998.
© 1998
The above work is the copyrighted material. Anyone wishing to copy, archive, or re-post
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