Karma

by Akamideus

 

The Voice said "You have been a pitiful excuse for a person your entire life. You have tormented those that loved you and manipulated others to do you bidding. You have watched the suffering of others and profited off of their misery. You are unfit to enter these gates. There is no excuse that you can offer that will change our view of you. Are you prepared for our judgment?" After a verbal beating like that what else could I say but "Yes." I mean they were pretty much right on. I was a shit head in life and probably deserved to burn in hell. But just to show that when you die you don't necessarily change and become all gracious and accommodating, I was trying like hell to figure out a way to come out ahead on this one. It just wasn't happening.

The Voice boomed again. "You are irredeemable. Even now you seek to manipulate these events." OUCH! Got me again. "You are going to be sent back." Really? How cool is that? "You are condemned to live…" Ya know, in retrospect I probably should have paid a little more attention to what the Voice was saying but I was too busy dancing. I wasn't going to hell. I was going to live. What more did I need to know? Once again crap had turned to cream and in my eyes I was all set. Then the pain started. My chest was suddenly on fire and I was falling. I know its cliché but it happened. Next thing I know I'm laying on my back in the street with some guy hovering over me. He says to someone I can't see "I think we've got her back." "HER????? Her who?" I thought to myself. I kinda moved my head a little to see who their talking about and I catch my reflection in a puddle next to me. "Aw shit!" is all I can think of when I see it. Then everything fades to blackness.

Sunshine blessed sunshine, has there ever been anything as beautiful? It was shinin' right on my face and it felt great. Especially after to whopper nightmare I had last night. In my dream Mandy (my ex wife) caught me takin a little loan from her purse and after accusing me (of all people) of trying to steal her money she hit me with something hard (a bat I think)and I fell over the railin on her porch. Three friggen stories I fell and landed in the street. Man I'm glad it was just a dream. I tried to raise my arms to stretch but I couldn't move. "Weird" I thought to myself. I opened my eyes to see what the problem was. I fuzzily looked around the room. It looked like a hospital room. I was a little (OK a lot) out of it so it didn't occur to me that it actually was hospital room. "Where the hell am I?" I wondered out loud. At least I think it was me talking but it sure didn't sound like me. As my vision cleared I noticed something was on my chest. At fist I couldn't figure out what it was. It felt kinda heavy but not enough to hold me down. I kept staring trying to figure it out when all of a sudden it came to me. "I've GOT FRIGGEN BOOBS!!! Where the hell did I get boobs?" I yelled. "And what the hell happened to my voice." Then it all came flooding back to me. It wasn't a dream. "That son of a…" I started to say when a nurse (and a damn fine looking one I might add) came bursting into the room. "Honey are you alright?" she asked. "We heard you yelling all the way down the hall. We didn't even know you were awake. The doctor will be so pleased. We were starting to think you weren't ever going to wake up." (Never gonna wake up?) "How long have I been here?" I asked not wanting to hear the answer. "You've been unconscious since they brought you up from surgery a week ago." she answered. "Surgery? A week? I'm almost afraid to ask, but what did I need surgery for?" I grimaced in anticipation of her answer. She looked at me with a sad kind of sympathy that really got me worried. "Look" she said "I need to get a hold of Dr. Roy and tell him you're awake. When he gets here, he'll explain everything. Right now I would like to know your name." Oh shit! My name? How the hell was I supposed to know? I desperately tried to come up with something. Luckily she saw me struggling and said "It's ok honey it'll come back to you. A lot of times with head trauma it can take a while for the memory to come back." Head trauma? Boobs? And I assume all the other associated parts too. Man the Voice really stuck it to me. I was screwed. Worst of all I had no idea what the Voice wanted me to do now that I was here. Yep screwed! Maybe I was in Hell after all. "By the way" she added on her way out the door "my name is Donna."

Some time later (Ever notice how time drags in the hospital?) Donna and that Dr. Roy came into my room. Dr Roy "Hello miss (miss? ARRG!) My name is Dr Thaddeus Roy. Dr Roy was a tall (actually VERY tall) black man with a short beard and a little grey around the temples. He looked to be about 50 years old. "You may call me Thad if you wish; I'm not real big on titles and sir names." Thad? What is this guy nuts? By the way how old does this guy think I am? I could only muster a weak "nice to meet you Thad." (ARRRGGG!) "Donna" he said pointing to her like I'd never met her before "says you can't remember your name. Is there anything you do remember about who you are? "HMMMM let's see" I thought to myself, what do I remember? "Well my name is (or is that was?) Jake Bryant. I'm 42 years old and I died last week. While I was dead I apparently was barked at by god and sent back to earth as a girl. Think he'll buy that answer? Yea me neither." I looked at him (trying to look sincere) and said "No doctor I can't seem to remember anything before I woke up here today. By the way, where is here and what exactly happened to me?" (Seemed like a good couple of questions if ya ask me.) He looked at me for what seemed like hours, finally he said "Let's see in order you are at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. (Good at least the Voice left me in familiar territory.) You were brought in eight days ago after being found laying on Williams St. in Dorchester. When you were found you were not breathing and had no pulse. When the ambulance arrived you were given CPR and other life saving measures and eventually revived. (Wow guess I really was dead. As if I wasn't sure before.) After that you were transported here. It was determined upon your arrival that you had the following injuries: broken left leg, six cracked ribs, a severely lacerated spleen, broken right wrist, two crushed disks in you back and blunt force trauma to your head. (Damn that Bitch did hit me with a bat!) We operated on what we could. We removed your spleen, set the bones in your leg and arm, taped up your ribs and drained blood from inside your skull to relive pressure on your brain. Your back is going to require multiple surgeries without which you'll never walk again. But with a little luck you should recover nicely. To be honest, my dear, you're very lucky to be alive today." I just looked at him in astonishment. "Was there anything left to break?" I wondered to myself. He looked down at me with genuine sympathy. He went on "To me it looks like you were either hit by a car going very fast or you fell out of a tall building at least 3 stories. (Bingo!! Mandy lived on the third floor!) Now what we need from you is for you to just relax and let yourself heal. With you being awake, I'll have Donna here get you a television to help you pass the time. And you'll need it because you're going to be here for quite some time. I'd say at least three more months. (Three months! Man I knew the Voice was pissed at me but come on I wasn't that bad before. Well, OK I was.) The last couple of things I'd like for you to do is, first every day try to remember something about your life before last Wednesday. Second I'd like you to meet with some one from the local news paper. If you agree I'd like to put your picture in the paper to see if someone recognizes you." "You mean something like do you know this girl?" (Again ARRRGGG!) I asked. "No nothing like that just your picture with some kind of caption under it. No mention of you being here or having no memory. Christ" He went on "that would bring out every nut job in the city. My thoughts are if someone is looking for you and see you in the paper they'll call the paper and then be directed to us." "Yep he a smart one" I thought. Then the light bulb came on and I said "Ya know Thad, I have no idea what I look like. Could I have a mirror please?" "Of course." he said "Donna could you grab one from some where please?" Donna left the room for about 10 seconds and then returned with one. "Now remember" Thad said "your pretty bruised up so don't be too shocked at your appearance." He handed me the mirror. I took it from him and held it down for a moment while I gathered me courage. Finally I let out a deep breath and looked into it. When I saw my reflection my jaw hit the floor. I couldn't believe what I saw. I thought I'd seem a ghost. The Voice truly had a perverse sense of humor. Thad and Donna looked at me with concern. When I could finally pull my eyes from my reflection I said in a very small voice "I know who I am. My name is Amanda Bry….err (OOPPSS! almost forgot we were divorced.) David, but my friends call me Mandy."

Now let me explain what a friggen disaster this is. First off Mandy is 15 years my junior making her (or is it me? Man I'm getting a Popsicle head ache from this) 28. She's quite the looker too, 5 foot 6in long darkish red hair, great legs, hell of a set of knockers, green eyes. (Getting hot and bothered just thinking about it. Hot and bothered? Yea right. I've got nothing to get hot with! This just keeps on getting better and better!) When I first met her she was eighteen and the sweetest thing you'd ever meet. That was until I got to her. What can I say; I was a total asshole to her. I cheated on her, beat her occasionally. (Well maybe more than occasionally. What? I told ya at the beginning of this tale I was a shit head. If I wasn't do ya think that I'd be in this position?) And generally took every opportunity to make her feel bad as I could. (I know, I know. I can hear your thoughts. Enough already!) The worst thing was is I think, for a while anyhow, that she really did love me. (Sad huh?) But eventually, like every other person in my life (Sad music please) she saw me for what I was and left me. The only thing is that she kept letting me come back around. Not that it was romantic or anything but she just never seemed to learn, no matter what she did I was always gonna take advantage of her. That is until the night she pushed me off of her porch. On top of all this I told these people I was her and I have no idea if she's still around. (This could get messy.)

Thad and Donna looked at me astonished. "I've never seen anything like this before." Thad was saying. "By just looking in the mirror you now remember your name? How is that possible? (Shit I knew that one was coming.) Do you remember anything else about your life?" I looked at him sheepishly. "I have no idea how it made me remember but it did." I said a little bit indignantly. They both looked at me skeptically. "It's ok honey." Donna said. "Do you remember anything else? Anything at all?" I thought long and hard over that one. (Trying to make it look like I was straining to remember something.) Finally I said "No not really." They both gave me a disbelieving looks. (This was starting to go very bad.) I was desperate to get them to leave me alone so I could figure out my next move. So lamely I said "Ya know I'm kinda tired. Do you think we could discuss this more later?" Thad shook his head "I guess we could, but I'll have to be honest with you and tell you that I'm having a hard time believing what you are telling us." (Yea like the truth is so much more believable.) I shrugged as best as I could and said "I'm sorry to hear that Doc. Do you always interrogate your patients the moment they come to?" His face reddened with (I hope) embarrassment and then he walked out of the room. Donna remained. I looked over at her. (Man she is really HOT!!! Black hair, blue eyes, nice tits, ahhh if I was still a man….. Once again ARRRGGGG!) "So are you gonna call me a liar too?" I asked trying to sound innocent. "Well….." she began "it's not that he and I think you're lying, it's just amnesiacs don't usually remember their names after just a quick glance in the mirror." I grimaced "So" she continued "you can see where his suspicions come from. If you do know more and don't want to tell us, that's your choice. But don't treat us like we're stupid. You're not that good of an actress you know." (OUCH! That stung.) With that said she left. Ya know one of these days I'm gonna write a book (another book smart ass.) called how to win friends and influence people. It'll be full of sound and sage advice on how to live a happier life. Come to think of it one line will say it all. The line will be "Don't act like I do." (What do ya think? Got something there?) For the rest of the day neither Donna nor Thad came back. Other nurses came in and checked on me, but those two stayed away.

The next morning I woke up to find Thad and some other doctor in my room talking over my medical chart. I just laid there tying to hear what they were saying but they were to quiet. After a couple of minutes they both noticed I was awake. "Good morning Amanda." Thad began "This is Dr. Gold he's the surgeon that'll be doing your back surgery." "Hello" I responded. "Have we had anymore revelations since yesterday?" Thad asked in voice dripping with sarcasm. (What is it with this guy?) I tried to turn to look straight at him. (PAIN!!!) I said to him "What is your problem? Yesterday you were so nice to me until I remembered my name. Since then you've been nothing short of an asshole." He looked pissed. Dr. Gold for his part just stood there looking very uncomfortable. I waited for a reply while Thad fumed. "Miss David" he finally said "I am not here to get into arguments with my patients. What am here for is to help them return to health. By your refusal to give us even the most basic information about yourself; you hinder my ability to help you. So before you accuse me of some other kind of personal agenda, I'll take my leave. Dr Gold, I'll see you at the nurses station when your finished here." he said as he stormed out the door. (I am just such the people person. Everybody just loves me.) Dr Gold looked like someone snuck him a lemon. (Let's how badly I can mess this encounter up.) Finally I said "So you're going to fix my back huh?" He hesitated and said "Yes…yes I am." He then got into the particulars of what he was going to be doing and how long the operation should take. I asked him about how long it would be until I recovered afterward and he told me if everything went well, about a month and a half. Then they could do the second one. (Wonderful!) I'll have to admit the whole time he was talking to me, I felt a little uncomfortable. It wasn't what he was saying as much as the way he kept looking me over. I know Mandy's a hot little number, but give me a break will ya. So any how he finally finished and said he'd be by tomorrow morning before the surgery. (Great, I'm so looking forward to that.) The rest of the day was pretty quiet. Donna came in a couple of times to check out how I was doing. I tried to talk with her but she wasn't really into it. Other nurses came in too and we spoke minimally. Also I got a TV so at least I had something to help pass the time.

The following day I had my first back surgery. Talk about pain!! I know Thad says his problem is strictly professional but I think he may have cut back on my pain meds a little just to stick it to me. It went well according to Dr. Gold. (Man that guy makes my skin crawl.) He talks to you professionally enough, but his eyes wandered all over me while he did it. I've got tubes connected to me everywhere and I've got casts on my arm and my leg. Yet still he looks. What would it be like if I was in a bikini? (A bikini? What am I thinking!!!! ARRRGGGG!) I tried to discuss this with Jenny, another one of the nurses, but she said it was all in my head. (Great patient care here huh? Nice to see they listen so well. Then again I've probably been black balled anyhow.)

A few days later Dr. Roy came into my room for my daily (interrogation) progress report. For a change he had a smile on his face. Doing my best Bugs Bunny imitation I said "What's up doc?" He looked at me like the cat that just ate the canary. "I have some news for you." he began "I got a call from the Boston police this morning. (Cops??? This can't be good!) They asked the hospital's director of admissions if we had a patient here named Amana David. The director looked you up and transferred them to me. I told them that you were in fact still here." I started to squirm a little and the bastard noticed that made him smile even more. "Apparently someone has been looking for you since that night you arrived here." "Oh yea who would that be?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant. "They wouldn't get into it with me." he said with disappointment in his voice. "But they will be here this after noon to talk to you."(GRREEAATTT!!!)

A little after two in the afternoon my wait came to end as Dr. Roy and two detectives from the BPD entered my room. "Miss David?" the small Hispanic one began "My name is Detective Victor Ramos and this is my partner Detective Thomas Carter. We work in the missing persons division of the Boston police department. About three weeks ago we received a report from a Mrs. Rita David. (OH NO! Not her…. err my? mother!!!!) Saying she had not heard from you in several days and when she went to your apartment, the place was a wreck." I tried to look confused. "I'm sorry who did you say was looking for me?" "Excuse me detectives" Dr. Roy interrupted "Miss David here claims to have no memory of anything before her arrival here." (Claims??? You are such an asshole.) They both looked at me suspiciously. "Detectives" I began "is there any way we can do this without him here? The good doctor has some issues with me and frankly our conversation is none of his business." Dr. Roy shot me a dirty look. Carter, a rather striking looking man with blonde hair, answered "I can't see why he needs to be here. Do you have any use for him being here Vic?" Ramos looked a little strained and turned to the doctor "Could you excuse us please Doc?" he asked. Dr. Roy looked furious as I waved good bye to him as he left. (Good riddance.) "So where were we?" I asked the detectives. "Um… yes Mrs. David…. Apparently she is your mother and she's very concerned about where you've been, so she called us. She gave us a picture of you." he reached into his coat pocket and produced a picture of Mandy. Looking at the picture and comparing me to it he said "What do you think Tom?" "Yep I'd say its her." was the reply. "Ok now what happens?" I asked. "Now we'll get in touch with your family and tell them that we've located you. Unless there's some reason you don't want us to?" Ramos inquired. I thought for a moment. "Yes. I suppose you should tell them. Perhaps seeing them will help with my memory." (What else could I do? I gotta have some place to go when I get outta here. I know Mandy's family well enough to pull it off, I hope. Anything I mess up on I can chalk up to my head injury. Besides their rich.) "Ok, then I guess we can contact them as soon as we talk to the doc and make sure it's not a problem with him." "Why do I need his permission for you to contact my family?" I asked indignantly. "I've already tried to explain that he has issues with me and I don't need him causing me anymore problems." "Can I ask what his problem is?" Carter asked. "When I saw my reflection for the first time after I woke up from my first surgery, I remembered my name. Nothing else has come back to me, but jerk off out there thinks I'm holding out on him." "Ahh"was all they would say. I looked at the trying to figure out if they bought it but I couldn't tell. "Well be that as it may we still need to find out if you can have visitors before we contact your family." Ramos said. (I just can't seem to catch a break here.) "Fine!" I whined. (My god, now I'm starting to act like her, whining and everything. I gotta get outta this body. I think the estrogen is starting to get to me.) "Well I'd say if the doc Okays it you should count on hearing form your mother within a couple of hours." Carter said on his way out the door. (Just wonderful.)

True to their word the cops called Mandy's mother as soon as they got out the hospital door. Within fifteen minutes of the leaving the phone next to my bed rang for the first time since I woke up here. As soon as it rang I knew who it was. With tremendous trepidation I picked it up and said "Hello?" "Oh my god!!! Mandy I'm so glad to hear your voice. I was so worried. I thought that no good ex-husband of yours had finally killed you. How many times have I told you to stay away from him? Well? What do you have to say for yourself? I was sooo worried!! I'm so glad your Ok. Your father and I are heading out the door right now to come see you. We love you so much! We're so glad the police found you. My poor baby girl. We'll be there as soon as we can. I love you my baby. Bye."(Jesus! What have I gotten myself into now? Maybe if I ask nicely Doc Roy will euthanize me before she gets here. Naaa the bastard wouldn't do it. He'd want to watch me suffer.) So surprisingly enough about a half an hour later I had visitors. Rita, a short matronly woman with dyed brown hair, burst into my room and B lined it right for my bed. Lucky for me Jenny was in the room and stopped her before she could get me into a bear hug. "Mr. and Mrs. David?" Jenny asked. "My name is Jenny Lingstrom I'm one of the nurses that have been taking care of your daughter while she's been here. Rita nodded at her in passing and tried to push past her to get to me. Jenny asserted her self and held Rita back. "Mrs. David, I understand you've missed you daughter but she just had back surgery two days ago so you need to be careful with her." Rita looked mortified. "I'm sorry" she said "I had no idea." Swallowing hard I said "Mom? Dad?" Before another word could be said, Dr Roy entered. (Here it comes.) "Hello my name is Dr Roy. I'm the doctor in charge of Amanda's care." He said with a big smile on his face. To Rita he said "You must be Amanda's mother. I can see where she gets her looks from." (AKKKK! I'm gonna puke.) Extending his hand out towards Dr. Roy, dad (I guess) said "Pleased to meet you doctor I'm Paul David and this is my wife Rita. I'd like to take the time to thank you for the care you've given our daughter while she's been here. However I'd like to know why if you new my daughter was here, you made no effort to contact us?" Dr. Roy looked at me with a delighted grin. He then said "I'm sorry for the obvious distress the two of you have been under since Amanda disappeared. But we had no way of contacting you because Amanda here was unable to tell us anything about you." They both looked at him questioningly. He continued "You see Amanda here claims to have no memory of anything before she woke up here. "Oh my baby! My poor poor baby! She can't remember anything." Rita cried looking at me. I just kinda shrugged. "I'm sor…" I tried to say before Thad interrupted me. "It's my opinion" Thad interrupted "Mr. and Mrs. David that your daughter has no memory problems. I believe that she simply didn't want to be found." (Ya know when I get better I'm gonna find this guy outside of this place and give him a swift kick in the nuts.) "What do you mean she didn't want to be found?" Rita countered "Are you telling me you don't believe she has amnesia? Are you accusing my daughter of consciously misleading you? What proof do you have that she can remember? Hmm? I'm waiting Doctor." "Well madam" Roy began 'You see…." "Oh just save it!" Rita screamed. "If my precious baby says she can't remember anything from before she got here, I for one believe her. Further more, I blame you for her memory loss. If you had been taking better care of her, her memory would probably have returned by now!" (Go Mom!!!) Thad stared at her with his mouth hanging open. "Paul are you going to let him talk that way about our daughter?" Rita asked looking at him sternly. "Certainly not dear." Paul replied. "Doctor I think you should wait outside while we talk to our daughter. But don't run away. I know the director of staffing at this hospital and when my wife and I are finished here, you and I will be having a conversation with him about your behavior here." (I swear that I actually heard Thad's sphincter pucker at that one.) "Sir I'm sure that's not….."Thad tried to say. "SAVE IT!" Paul hollered. "Just leave doctor!" Looking miserable Thad slinked out of the room. In the corner, having watched the entire exchange, Jenny was having a hard time containing her glee. My eyes happened on her and she mouthed to me "He's such a pompous ass!" I had to concentrate hard not to burst into laughter.

After Thad left Rita turned to me and said "OH my poor baby. How are you feeling? Is it true you can't remember anything? Don't worry we'll get you out of here as soon as your able to be moved. You won't have to worry about that poor excuse for a doctor." "For Christ sakes woman will you let her speak." Paul said impatiently. "How dare you speak to me in that tone?" Rita shrieked. "Who do you think you are to speak to me like that?" (Some one just shoot me!! Please?) Jenny interrupted "Look folks all this commotion isn't doing Mandy any good. So if you can't calm down you're going to have to leave." Rita opened her mouth to reply but Jenny cut her off. "Lady" she said sternly "don't make me call security." Rita glared at her. Jenny returned her gaze unwaveringly. Finally Rita looked away. (You go girl!) Jenny with a satisfied look on her face said to me "I'll be right outside. Just hit the call button if you need me." "Thank you. I will" I replied. Rita was giving me the hairy eyeball. "What does she mean, if you need help? Who could possibly help you more than us?" Before she could finish getting revved up for another tirade, I said "It's OK, she was just doing her job." Paul got down next to me and said "Mandy honey, we were so worried about you. We really did think that Jake had done something terrible to you." Playing up my (supposed) lack of memory I asked "Jake?" "He's your good for nothing, low life, (Hey!) ex-husband dear. You really don't remember anything?" Rita said. Sometimes, just as I'm waking up I feel like I'm on the verge of remembering everything. But then it fades before I can get a handle on it. It's very frustrating!!" (Am I good or am I good? Donna was wrong I am a good actor... err…actress. What ever!) "My poor darling, don't worry we'll get you the very best help available. Won't we Paul." Rita stated. "Of course we will. First though, we need to get her on her feet and out of here." He thought for a moment. "Well if you two will excuse me for a little while, I think it's time I go and have a chat with Carl Rogers" (Aw no please don't leave me alone with this woman.) "Who?" I asked. "The hospital director dear." Rita answered. "Don't you remember how you went out with his nephew last summer? Opps! I guess you wouldn't at the moment would you? You two made the cutest couple. And he was so handsome. Not mention that he's studying to be a doctor. You know now that you're divorced from that no good Jake, you really need to think about your future. You're so beautiful but you're not getting any younger you know. You need to think about settling down with a real man soon. (Please God just take me!!! I've learned my lesson! I swear I'll behave from now on! Please have mercy on me!) Maybe give your father and me a couple of grandchildren. (Grandchildren? AHHH...NO!) You know it's been so long since we've had little ones running around the house." (Does this woman ever come up for air?) I think once you're out of here and feeling up to it we'll have to have a party in your honor. We'll invite all the nice single young men we know. Yes that's what we'll do. I'll be right back dear. I need to go find your father and let him know about our plans. He'll be so excited. Oh we have so much planning to do. Well stay put dear, I'll be right back. (Stay put? I just had back surgery. Where am I supposed to go?)

I called Jenny as soon as she left. "Could you do me a favor?" I asked. "Let me guess" Jenny inquired "had enough company for one day?" "Yea. I think I'm on over load. Can that really be my mother?" I asked. (Nice one huh?) "Well if it is, you might want to take your time recovering and wait it out here." she answered. "Let's see… stay here and deal with Dr. Roy's shit or go home and live with her. Not much of a choice is it?" I asked distressed. "Can't say I'm jealous of you or anything. That's for sure." Jenny giggled. We both laughed. Outside we heard a commotion in the hallway signaling the return of Rita. I looked over at the door worriedly. "Don't worry Mand; I'll take care of her. You just relax and try to get some rest." Jenny reassured. "Thanks Jen. I owe you one." I replied. "Don't even worry yourself about it; it's my job to see to my patients needs. Besides, it'll be fun putting the old wind bag in her place." Jenny laughed as she walked out the door. A few moments later I heard the muffled sounds of Jenny and Rita arguing outside my door. After a bit Paul seemed to get involved. All three voices grew louder and I started to worry about Jenny's safety. Them suddenly it went quiet. About five minutes later Jenny came back in with a wicked looking grin on her face. Nervously I asked "What happened out there? It sounded like world war three was going to start in the hallway." "It wasn't that bad especially after your father got involved. We double teamed your mother and finally got her to leave. I'll have to say, she's a stubborn old broad that's for sure. You've certainly got your hands full." Jenny stated. I nodded in agreement and let out a sigh of relief. Jenny scowled at me. "Don't get to excited about them being gone." she said. "I can guarantee you they'll be back as soon as visiting hours start tomorrow." (I'm breathless with anticipation.)

And that's the way things went for the next couple of weeks. Rita would come in every day as soon as she was allowed to. She would stay all day long, driving me and the nursing staff crazy. After she would leave for the day, Dr. Roy would come in and check/ interrogate me about my memory. I told him that things seemed to be coming back to me a little bit at a time, but that wasn't good enough for him. (He's such a dick head.) Of course after the butt reaming mom and dad gave him, he would only show up when they weren't here. I tell ya, I almost wish the Voice had just condemned me to hell. (Or perhaps it had and I just haven't realized it yet. Naaa if I was in hell it would be warmer.) One day she brought my (err…Mandy's) sister Anita with her and I had to listen to them talk about all the family gossip. I tell ya there aint nothing like family gossip to really get you revved up. I'll have to admit, it was nice to see Anita. I always liked that kid. She's three younger than Mandy. Kinda short and pretty fat, but she's just the nicest person. She never has a bad thing to say about anyone, even me. (When I was still Jake, I gave them all plenty of stuff to bad mouth me about.) Finally the day came for my second back surgery. I was pretty excited because this meant that I would be released within a few of weeks. I know it means going to live with Rita but after two months in the hospital I'd had enough. Anywhere has to be better than here. (Man I hope that doesn't fall into the category of Famous Last Words.) But I digress. Dr. Gold was in my room going over the procedure and leering at me (God this guy just makes me feel like I need a shower every time I see him.) when Donna happened to come into the room. Donna caught him touching my, well let's just say it wasn't my back and started freaking out on him. "Dr Gold!!" Donna roared." Just what do you think your doing putting your hand there? Are you that hard up you have to touch incapacitated female patients there just to get your jollies? What's wrong with you?" Dr. Gold's face burned bright red with embarrassment. "Nurse Sylvia! What are you talking about? I'd never do anything like your suggesting." He replied trying to go on the offensive. Donna moved in between us. I was mortified but I was glad she came in when she did. She looked down at me sympathetically and asked "Honey are you ok? Did he do anything else to you before I got here?" "No." I answered wanting only to crawl under the bed and die. "What do you mean, did I do anything else? I didn't do anything to start with." Dr. Gold squealed. "Amanda, tell her the truth, nothing happened." I stared at him in disbelief. I couldn't believe the set of balls on this guy. (Not that I could blame him for trying to weasel his way out of this. A few weeks ago I would have been doing the same thing.) "Doctor" I said trying to sound confident "I need you to do this surgery on me. You are the best in the business. However, after you finish, if you ever lay a hand on me again, I will have you medical license and you balls dangling from my cars rear view mirror. And that's before I tell my mother. Do you understand?" He tried to stare me down. I sat there passively waiting for his answer. When he realized he couldn't intimidate me, he shook his head in agreement. "By the way" I said "I'd like Donna to be in the operating room during my procedure just to make sure no accidents happen to me while I'm under the anesthesia." My god he was pissed. His face was so red it looked like he had sunburn. He wasn't stupid though and knew we had him over a barrel, so he agreed. "Ok good. I'm glad we're in agreement. Now can we get on with this please cause I'd really like to walk again someday. Ya know!"

At first I thought I'd died again. I was back in front of the Gates but this time instead of a booming voice there was an odd looking man standing there. "Welcome back Amanda." he said to me with a giggle in his voice. I just stared at him for a moment. He was the oddest looking person I'd ever seen. He had to be seven feet tall if he was an inch. He was extremely skinny, probably not more than 150lbs. He had average size arms but exceedingly long hands and fingers. His legs looked like he picked them off a daddy long legs spider and his feet had only three toes. His hair was the brightest red you could imagine, and his long face had a gap toothed smile and his skin was so white it looked like he'd fallen into a bucket of bleach. After taking him all in, I asked "Am I dead again?" "Nope" he replied "you can't die until you appease that which condemned you. And I'll have to tell you the One is not very pleased with your progress so far." "I can't die? What do you mean? Who are you? And if I can't die how did I get here?" I asked dumb founded. "Let's see, in no particular order, my name is Alexander. I guess you could say it's my job to monitor your progress and report it to the One." I looked at him quizzically. "It's not like in the movies, I can't interact with you whenever I decide to or anything. As a matter of fact the only reason we can communicate right now is because the anesthesia you're under has put you so close death. Also while you can't die you most certainly can be hurt. So be careful if you get your self maimed, you'll stay maimed for a very long time." "So what does He want from me?" I asked not really wanting to hear the answer. He looked at me and shook his head in disgust. The One told you when you were sent you back how you were to earn your forgiveness. The One also knows you didn't listen to what you were told and has forbidden me from informing you." "How am I supposed to gain my forgiveness then?" I asked trying not sound as scared as I was. "That is something you're going to have to figure out on your own. Never forget, Amanda, this is a punishment, not a field trip in another body. There is a reason you were given that body and when you discover that reason you will be half way to your salvation. Now, however, it is time for you to go back. Don't worry though, we will meet again." With that he and everything else around him faded away. I awoke some time later in the hospital recovery room and for the first time since coming back, I was terrified.

  

  

  

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