John's Gift                 by: Prudence Walker

 

Chapter two

Waking up I had a moment’s disorientation, as if I thought I was in the wrong bedroom, silly girl of course it’s my bedroom. Shrugging off a momentary sense of wrongness I got out of bed and headed for the shower, thinking about tomorrow and school and Brad (what a hunk). I’d been going out with him for over a year now, after finally getting a nice figure developing. Slowly washing my breasts with the scented soap and thinking of Brad make my nipples harden, and the juices flow. Washing between my legs sent ripples of pleasure coursing though my body as I visualised Brad kissing me. After the shower I blow-dried my hair, thinking that I might try a new style. Posing a little, I lifted my hair up trying to visualise it in an updo. Then giving my body a cursory once over I went back to my bedroom to get dressed, hearing mother call out,

"Cathy breakfast is nearly ready." I called back saying I wouldn’t be long, and continued to get dressed. Getting clean panties and bra I selected a navy blue skirt that came just above my knees, and a white knit top. Then musing as to whether to wear dark or light coloured hose continued to get dressed, grabbing my necklace and bangles from my bedside table I went over to the vanity, straightening my skirt as I went. Time to put my face on, not really looking at the mirror I picked up my large loop earrings and started to put them on. Glancing at the mirror for the first time, I suddenly saw the message.

OH MY GOD, seeing the message on the mirror sent a shockwave coursing though my mind, I could feel a duality forming in our/my mind until suddenly with a mental snap, we were two again, John and Cathy. The flood of emotions felt too much for me, as I felt myself being torn away from Cathy. Like a rubber band being released, I was once again alone in the void. My mind was in turmoil as the thoughts of Cathy seemed to be my thoughts, as if the wrong person had been ejected from the body.

Still in shock at what had happened I was finding it hard to separate her thoughts from my own, it felt like I had two consciences both totally separate, one mine, one Cathy’s.

I could recall every thought she’d had, from waking till the mirror. Oh my god! The thoughts she’d had when thinking of Brad were vivid, and though I should have been thoroughly disgusted reliving these thoughts, I just couldn’t. They were not my thoughts, these were Cathy’s and I could feel the love and warm emotions that went with them. How you can hate something that gives you those kinds of feelings, I certainly couldn’t. As the shock of separation subsided, I could see Cathy finish putting on her makeup. Of course it was different for her, she was unaware of what had just happened. I realised I could never say anything to her, she would consider it an invasion of privacy, her deepest thoughts revealed.

As she left for the kitchen, I was left to contemplate my feelings. In some ways I was grateful, to have experienced the way the female mind thinks. I felt almost envious of her body, remembering being in the shower and soaping myself all over, the tingling I felt with that so sensitive skin. I thought myself into the kitchen where they were eating breakfast; I felt left out, as that was something I wasn’t able to do anymore. After breakfast and things were cleaned up, Mom got the car out, ready to pick dad up at the airport. I’d thought I might as well tag along, as I had nothing better to do. Travelling in a moving vehicle proved no problem, as all I did was half merge with Cathy as an anchor, it also served to give me some sensory input to add to my vision. Meeting dad was anticlimactic, as little was said till we returned home. Mom avoiding answering questions; dad did look hard at the two of them trying to see how they were coping with the news of my death. Obviously wondering why they seemed relatively cheerful. On arriving home, dad started to ask questions, I only got an impression of them, not wanting to fully merge with Cathy after this morning’s incident. I could see mom explaining and the shocked unbelieving expressions on dad’s face; although, when shown the message on the mirror his face took on a calculating look, as if to trying to see a flaw in their story. Finally dad got this look, which started to worry me as he smiled and waved to Cathy to go into the lounge and sit down. He then went into the master bedroom returning moments later with a crystal pendant of moms. Going back to Cathy he sat opposite her, talked for a while, then started swinging the pendant back an forth in front of Cathy’s eyes.

Oh no I thought, he’s going to hypnotise her (dad had been an amateur magician in his college days).

As I watched Cathy going under, I saw mom go to the small message board near the kitchen, and start to write on it. I read "John, dad wants you to merge with Cathy as soon as she’s under, dad will ensure she won’t wake till he gives the word ok?" Looking back I could see Cathy was fully under now, so taking a deep breath so to speak, I merged. As I opened my eyes, I saw dads eyes widen, as if, for the first time, belief was beginning to come. Thinking fast I said,

"Dad, it really is me, John, and they really were telling the truth." He sat back thinking, just looking at me. I fidgeted unconsciously, twirling my hair with my fingers, the puzzled expression on dad’s face grew and he said,

"John, I can’t believe its you in there, your mannerisms are so Cathy like," pointing to my hands twirling my hair. This made me blush scarlet, at which he started to grin, "you even blush like her."

"Well," I said, "it is her body, I’m just a temporary passenger subject to its whims." He laughed and said,

"How does it feel?"

"Confusing and strange," I said, "but not as bad as all that, in fact it seems to have certain things over boys." He looked at me, and then we both looked at my breasts straining against the knit top. I blushed again, as dad looked up into my eyes again, and tried hard not to smile

"Well John, make the most of it while you can," he said. Getting a more serious expression on his face, he said, "do you know how long you can stay in the energy state, and do you feel like you’re fading the longer you stay there? I was wondering whether your energy form requires feeding to maintain it, or if it’s constant."

"Well," I said "it does seem that after being in a body, I feel um, well, how can I put it, more alive in a sense," at which he nodded. Then I explained about the form change to my body image.

"Well" he said, "it seems that you do get some sort of energy recharge from Cathy. I had thought that maybe you could have merged with a male body, to get you feeling more normal. But, I’m thinking it might more sensible to continue using Cathy’s body as a default form."

"Why?" I asked.

"Well changing your body image all the time, might degrade your energy signature like a video tape that’s been copied, then copied from the copy, the more it’s done, the more information that’s lost, and so you could find that you lose some of yourself, until there’s no more John. At least getting a recording from the original source, will stop that happening." He paused, while I digested this.

"But," then I stopped; thinking it would be better to have Cathy’s image with my mind than some other male’s image, without it. "Ok," I said "now what?" He sat back in the chair thinking.

"There’s not much we can do at the moment," he said, "we risk losing you, until we can understand more about this whole mess." I sighed and stood up, and started to pace in Cathy’s graceful manner.

"I see you walk like her, too" dad said, watching me.

"Yeah yeah" I said, deep in thought, strangely not being bothered by it, dad got up and gave me a hug, which brought my thoughts back to the present.

"Oh dad" I cried, "I missed you while you were away," and hugged back. Just letting the body do its thing, and not letting any macho crap get in the way. Then I did something that I’d thought I’d never do again, not since I was 6 or 7 years old. I kissed dad on the cheek, he never said a word but as he drew back to look at me, I saw I’d left lipstick on his face and I started to giggle. He smiled, and said in mock seriousness,

"Son if you didn’t look like my daughter, I’d thump you one," he grinned. "Oh, if you want to kiss and hug me some more, I’ll not mind, seeing as I have the most beautiful son in the world," at which we both burst out laughing. Mom came over and gave us a big hug, asking what were we going to do in the meantime about sharing Cathy’s body.

"Well, I’ve given Cathy a key phrase to trigger a trance state, so John can use the body, and another to bring her to wakefulness,"

"Oh!" Said mom, "and what are these phrases?"

"Johns time for the trance," said dad "and (he whispered it in moms ear) to release it."

"Well" mom said, "I hope Cathy doesn’t mind sharing her body with John." Dad then said,

"Our son whether disembodied or not, is still part of our family, and Cathy agreed to share when I asked her to."

"So now what are we going to do?" I asked. "Also how long is Cathy going to be under today?"

"Well," and mom looked at dad, he nodded as unspoken communication passed between them, "it is Sunday, how about a picnic at our old favourite park and maybe do a little window shopping," Oh boy, just what do you have in your mind mom, I thought.

"Ok mom " I said, "I’m up for it, do I have to change or will I be ok like this?" Mom looked at me critically, and said,

"Cathy has a lovely sundress that’s just begging to be worn on a day like this," On saying this, she grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom. Where she told me to take off the skirt and blouse, while she rummaged in the closet.

"Here it is," she said, holding a yellow and white sundress with a square neckline and wide shoulder straps. Holding it up against me, she checked my legs and shoes,

"All you need to do, is change your shoes for the white open toed slingbacks, and your lipstick." Sighing, I slipped on the dress and found the shoes, (fortunately only a medium heel), then I sat at the vanity. Looking at all the assortment of lipsticks there, I looked up at mom with a question in my eyes,

"First you need to remove the old lipstick," she said, handing me a moist makeup remover tissue from a little container. "Just the lipstick" she said, "everything else is fine," handing me a pink lipstick tube. Ok, here we go again, I thought, just relax, pretend you do this everyday, looking in the mirror I whipped the lipstick across my lips, In what seemed, to be an almost automatic gesture. Checking the results I thought hmm, not bad for an amateur, getting a smile of approval from mom, as I turned to face her checking to see if she thought it was ok. She was duly impressed, and by way of explanation, for my seeming expertise, I said,

"It must be something of Cathy’s, that is rubbing off on me.

By the time everything was ready to go, I was starting to get nervous, not only was I going outside where other people could see me, but also I would have to interact with them as a young lady. Could I do it? Was I going to be able to act feminine enough? The last thing I needed was to make a spectacle of ourselves, (meaning Cathy and I). Mom seemed to know just what was running though my mind, (don’t all moms) and hugged me, and said,

"It will be fine, you’ll see." Yeah! Right mom, I thought, but hugged her back, (I think I’d never been hugged as much in my whole life, and was beginning to like it). I was getting to like the way women can just emote freely to others, and not worry about appearances. Arriving at the place we used to visit as children, we saw a small shopping mall had sprung up since we last visited a few years ago, and a fair ground located next to where we used to picnic. Even mom was surprised at seeing it. Asking me if we should go someplace quieter.

"No" I said, "I’m hungry, I want lunch." Dad drove into the car park adjoining our picnic spot and stopped. We unloaded the picnic gear and found a nice shady spot under a tree, putting down a blanket to sit on. All of a sudden, I heard someone shout,

"Cathy!" I looked up to see Brad standing there.

"Come" he said, grabbing my arm and lifting me to my feet, "I’ve got something to show you." With a quick "I’ll have her back in a short time" to mom, he rushed me off, towards the fair ground before either I, or my parents had time to think.

"Stop!" I cried, my parents need to know where I’m going, (thinking if I could get back then mom, or dad could use the key phrase to Cathy, releasing her trance)

"Nah! It’s ok," he said, they know how I feel about you, and that I’ll take good care of you. I started to panic, I didn’t want to go gallivanting off alone with Brad, this was Cathy’s boyfriend, and the last thing I needed was to be alone with a boy, especially one that knew Cathy well. By the time I got my thoughts together, he had taken me to the amusement park; saying wasn’t it lucky we both just happened to be there at the same time. I just smiled at him, and agreed, (but inside, I was saying oh boy oh boy keep calm or you’ll blow It.). Taking me up to where a big Ferris wheel stood, saying

"Come on, I know you love these things," puzzled at my reluctance. Oh no I thought, I hate these things, (I have a fear of heights) but I couldn’t just leave Cathy’s body, not while it was still in the trance, and even if I knew the key phrase, I didn’t know if I could trigger it, saying it myself. If I did anything out of character that damaged Cathy’s relationship with Brad, I wouldn’t forgive myself, seeing as she was willing to share her body part time. Brad never let go my hand as he paid for the ride, and I smiled at him, as he helped me step in the, (cringing inwardly at the up coming ride). As it started to move Brad put his arm around my shoulders and I tried to recapture Cathy’s thoughts from this morning, letting the memories flow over me, as I pretended to be Cathy in thought, as well as body. It seemed to help, as I relaxed, and even turned to Brad to say thanks.

The next thing I knew, Brad had brought his head down and kissed me full on the mouth, as I started to protest he slipped his tongue in my mouth and started tongue wrestling. I started to fade at that moment, my mind couldn’t handle it, was I a girl with a guy’s mind, or a man with a mind filled with feelings of love, and warmth for another man. I didn’t pull away, why? I’m not sure, but to tell the truth I was kind of curious, caught up with the feelings, as the body reacted to the stimulus. I just let it happen, and as my nipples went hard, and other feelings started to flood my body with rippling tingling feelings, I began to kiss back, our tongues flicking together like snakes entwining. At last we broke for air, and I pulled away, blushing, thinking that I must be gay to be kissing a guy, and getting turned on by it.

Realising we were nearly at the top of the wheel I got scared, as I hated heights, and felt very insecure in this flimsy cage, I held on to Brad for security. Brad getting the wrong idea, hugged me back, and started to kiss me again. I was so confused that by the time the ride was over, I was walking in a daze. Brad holding my unresisting hand, walked me back to my parents, asking when would he see me again. I said I’d ring him. As we neared where mom and dad were sitting, I could see them watching us, and I got a little self conscious about us holding hands, so I turned to brad and said

"I can take it from here, see you later ok." As we let our hands part, he grabbed another kiss, and walked away whistling. Still a bit dazed from the kisses, I walked back to mom, and sat down. They gave each other the "Look," and said to me that it looked as if you enjoyed that. Lost for words, I numbly grabbed a sandwich and started to eat, while I thought.

"I’m so confused mom, the body s telling me one thing, and my minds been influenced by Cathy’s feelings that I felt this morning." Oops! (Why did I let that slip?) Oh oh, now both parents were looking at me, with questions in their eyes

"Oh?" said mom innocently, in a tone of voice I recognised as one that meant fess up or there’ll be trouble. I sighed, and between mouthfuls of sandwich (which I could see mom disapproving of being unladylike) I regaled the story of this mornings incident, leaving out the most intimate personal stuff. Only admitting to have felt Cathy’s feelings for Brad, and that I’d felt like I was Cathy for a time. Mom looked at me and said

"Just make sure you’ll not lose yourself in her again, I don’t want to lose you twice in one life time".

"I’ll be careful mom" I replied, "I have no intentions of going yet."

At which, I started to sniffle, as again we hugged. "Is Cathy coming out all today?" I asked, thinking it was a shame she was missing out on it.

"We’ll see," said mom. As we finished lunch and while dad put the picnic gear away, mom dragged me over to the mall. Surprisingly there was a clothing boutique showing the latest fashions with some very chic clothing on display.

"Now this is more like it," mom said. Here we go again, I thought, as mom coerced me into the shop, saying

"You may as well have the full experience being a female, and this is a big part in any woman’s life." Looking round inside, mom made a beeline for the dress racks, pulling some down off their hangers, and holding them against me.

"There" she said "Isn’t that just you?"

"How would I know, mom?" I replied sourly, "I’m not sure, just who I am, anymore." She just gave me that look that said, ‘I know what’s best for you,’ and gave me the black cocktail dress, with its thin spaghetti straps and ruffles and told me to go try it on. Looking for the changing rooms, I started to walk over, thinking if someone had told me I’d be doing this two days ago, I’d have thought them crazy. By the time I reached the small cubicle with its large mirror on one of the walls, I could see mom following with another couple of dresses over her arm. Dreading having to model more dresses, I slipped my sundress off, and unzipped the cocktail gown stepping into and pulling it up, slipping my arms though the straps, wondering how I would reach to zip myself up. Amazingly, I could reach behind my back with no problem, Cathy’s arms being more flexible than my old ones.

Mom arrived, and entered the cubicle saying how the gown suited me. Looking in the mirror I had to agree, I looked stunning, a model of femininity, the cool satin lining of the gown felt cool against my body, and although it was figure hugging, it felt comfortable, the sensations where arousing Cathy’s body, and giving me feelings that were confusing. Here I was looking like possible date material, (excluding the fact this was my sister) but I wasn’t dating her, I was her, I said to mom.

" I can’t do this any more, I need a break to think things over."

"Ok" said mom, "I guess Cathy deserves a turn now."

"First" I said, "I need to leave her a note, to let her in on everything that happened with Brad." Mom got a pen and a small pad out of her voluminous bag, and I scribbled down a quick note, detailing what went on, so she wouldn’t be left wondering. Then mom said,

"Ok, Cathy’s time." All at once, I felt Cathy wake within me, and I relinquished the body in some relief. But as you guessed it, now I could still feel that gown on my body. As I watched Cathy shake her head as if clear it of any lingering sleepiness, I felt I shouldn’t linger there, even though her body was no mystery any more, I still felt like a voyeur staying there while she was undressing.

Drifting outside, I waited, till they had decided they had had enough. Coming out, I saw they had bought something, and I had a good guess what it was, even my male mind knew what looked great, and that black number certainly did. Gathering back at the car, every one got in, and we drove back, again my hand was part way in Cathy’s body for some contact. Arriving back at home, I saw mom hand Cathy the note I’d written, and Cathy went to her room to read it. As I watched her open it and read, I saw her eyes widen in surprise, then she started to giggle, then quickly get another pad from her drawer, and started to write in it. I looked over her shoulder, and read while she finished it.

"John, I’m glad you had a good time in my body, and I wish I was there, but I’m glad you thought of leaving a note, it makes things easier for me. You’ll have to tell me what you thought of kissing Brad, he’s so nice and I love him, and I think he loves me too. Tomorrow when I go to school, please tag along, I won’t mind you being with me, even in the toilets, it doesn’t worry me in the least." Then she left the note on the dresser, and went out to the kitchen to help with dinner.

That night when Cathy went to bed, I waited till she fell asleep, then merging quickly I reached for the note pad, and wrote a message for her, to see in the morning. I gave her my explanation of what I had felt about Brad as best as I could. Then I wrote that I would stay by her tomorrow, leaving the note propped up, so she would see it. I exited her body, Thinking about whether I needed, or even if I could sleep, I lay across her bed so that I was in contact with just a small section of her body, so I wouldn’t completely be in a sensory deprived state. Somehow, I managed to rest. I wouldn’t call it sleep, more a waking dream state, but at least I didn’t have stay in that silent world again.

In the morning, I watched, as she showered and dressed, marvelling at her supple body, I found myself looking at her in a non-sexual way, just watching her actions and the way she moved. I supposed having no male hormones left helped, but I was thinking that the next time I had use of her body, It would be easier to emulate her if I studied the way she moved, and interacted with people. After breakfast, I followed her to school and just watched, as she talked to her friends. Looking at her friends, I contemplated whether to do a partial merge with Cathy, but decided not too at this point. The school day passed slowly for me, but I thought, at least I was here to get bored, and not, atomised into oblivion.

After school came out, and she started to walk home with her friends, another girl came up to the group and seemed to be making insulting remarks to Cathy. She was a nice looking girl, or would have been if not for the garish makeup, and all the rings, her black spiked up hair and her choice of clothes left little to be desired, the leather jacket and shiny black pants gave her a rather Goth looking appearance. I could tell from Cathy’s expression that she was scared of this loud and obviously abusive girl, so I started to merge with Cathy to hear what was going on, by this time Cathy’s friends had backed away, and were leaving Cathy alone, to deal with this bully. As I entered Cathy, I could hear what was being said,

"I’m going to teach you a lesson for ratting on me in class" the girl shouted, and I heard your brother got killed in that disaster in the desert. "Well I’m glad, serves you right, I guess it was just, Johns time" she sneered. At those words, I felt Cathy start to slump as she entered the trance state, luckily, I managed to take over her body in time to stop it falling to the ground. As I gained control, I straightened up and glared back at the girl facing me, and said to her.

"Get off my case, you can’t bully me." At this, she started to grab me, but knowing a little more about fighting than Cathy did, I managed to flip the girl to the ground, even though it was an effort using Cathy’s weaker body. As she picked herself off the ground, she screamed at me that I had ripped her pants, backing away, she shouted that I would regret it, which started me worrying for Cathy’s safety. As the girl ran off, I tried saying the key phrase out loud, but it didn’t work, must have to be someone other than Cathy’s voice saying it, to trigger it. Thinking about the effects of my fighting the girl on Cathy’s relationship with her,

I absent mindedly started to walk home, using my old shortcut that I used to use, as a boy, across the old railway trestle bridge. It was dangerous, and mom always threatened me with dire consequences, if I continued to use it. Getting half way across, I heard the squeal of wheels braking on the other side. Looking along the bridge, I saw the girl again getting out a red sports car, a large youth was sitting in the driver’s seat. Attired in black with chains hanging round his neck, he looked a likely candidate for the prison system. He got out, and sat on the bonnet of the car, watching, as the girl paused, at the edge of the trestle, obviously scared of heights too, I thought. (It went over a hundred foot deep ravine) now I hear you ask, then what was I doing on it, when I’m scared of heights too. Well, the simple explanation was that I had tried to overcome my fear by attempting the crossing, and had succeeded to a certain extent. My fear had diminished, but mainly because I was used to it, any new places where I hadn’t been to, like on the Ferris wheel, still gave me the creeps. The guy on the car laughed at her and egged her on, saying she was chicken. At that, she started to walk towards me.

I stopped in the middle, one hand holding onto the low single side rail. As she neared, she started to curse the bridge, and me, when she was within arms length she stopped, and said,

"This is convenient, I think you’re that upset about John, that you decided to kill yourself," as she looked over the side of the bridge. Now I started to get concerned, surely she didn’t think she could get away with trying to throw me over the bridge.

 

To be continued..........

Any comments can be sent to prue_gg@yahoo.com

 

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