Jennifer

by Aoife Martin

 

1. Jennifer

 

Jennifer stood in front of the full-length mirror in her sister's bedroom. She regarded her naked form with disdain and disgust. Oh how she hated her body! She hated its slimness, her boy-hips, her flat chest that would never bud. Most of all, she hated the thing between her legs. The thing that made her a boy.

Carefully laid out on her sister's bed, were the clothes Jennifer was going to wear. She quickly pulled on the pair of panties she had chosen and immediately felt better. The silky material made her feel more feminine, and she could no longer see the boy-thing. With practiced fingers, she took the matching brassiere from the bed and hooked it up behind her back. Though padded for an adolescent girl, it was not meant for someone with nothing to begin with. She filled the sadly empty cups with two pairs of rolled-up socks. Now that she had a bosom, she allowed herself to smile.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Jennifer carefully pulled on a pair of flesh-coloured tights. This was one of her favourite parts of being a girl. She loved the way the tights made her legs look and feel. It was like wearing a second skin. Nothing boys wore came even close. Once her tights were on, she quickly pulled on her skirt and top and then stepped into a pair of low-heeled shoes.

Once dressed, she sat down at the dressing table and put on some makeup. Nothing much - just a touch of lipstick, a little blush and some mascara. She brushed her hair (longish for a boy, but shortish for a girl) into a more feminine style and spritzed herself with Rosemary's perfume. Some clip-on earrings and a simple necklace completed the look.

Although neither vain nor boastful, she never ceased to be amazed at how pretty she could look. She examined her reflection from numerous angles and pronounced herself happy with the results. Yes her hair was a tad short, but it gave her - she reckoned - a more continental, nay chic, look. Jennifer smiled and the young lady in the mirror smiled right back at her.

Downstairs, she make herself a sandwich and a cup of tea before curling up on the couch to watch some television. There was, as usual, nothing of note on the goggle box, but she spent a pleasant half-hour watching some makeover programme. It was a pleasure just to be herself. To be sitting there with her legs curled under her, wearing a skirt and being at peace with the world. It was a pleasure just to be. It was an inner peace she only found by being true to her self.

She spent the rest of the afternoon in her sister's room, trying on various dresses and skirts and outfits. Some looks worked better for her than others but that was the way of things. At 4.30 she reluctantly changed out of the clothes she was wearing - a denim skirt and t-shirt - and put everything away. She had a quick shower, trying not to touch or look at her boy-thing, and dressed in her boy-clothes. She immediately felt the dull-black cloud of depression settle once again on her young shoulders.

She was lying on her own bed reading a novel when she heard the front door open and close. That would be her mother, home from work. "David," she called up the stairs. (God, how she hated that name!) "Are you up there?"

"I'm here Mum!" she called back. "I'll be down in a minute."

And so, she reluctantly got off her bed and went downstairs to greet her mother. She hated dressing like a boy. She felt so stupid and clumsy and wrong inside. Later that night, Jennifer prayed to God to make her a girl. And then she climbed into bed and cried herself to sleep.

 

 

2. Anne

 

Anne was worried about David. Although her son had always been quiet, he seemed to have become much more withdrawn lately. She sensed he was unhappy about something but any time she asked him about it, he said he was fine. It was patently obvious, to Anne at least, that he was anything but. If only he'd talk to her. She would listen. He could tell her anything.

She wondered if it was the lack of a father-figure - the bastard had run off not long after David was born. With only herself and Rosemary and David in the house, there was a distinct lack of maleness about the place. Perhaps she should have remarried. But what with her career and two children to look after, she'd never found the time to commit to another relationship. Sure, she'd been on dates but they'd never amounted to much. Besides, most men baulked at the thought of getting serious with a woman who already had two kids.

After he'd gone to bed, she'd asked Rosemary if she had noticed anything.

"It's probably just puberty. You know what teenagers are like."

"I suppose. Do you think you could ask him?"

"I'm his sister, he's not going to tell me anything."

"But you two used to be so close."

"I know Mum, but I'm a young woman now. We're into different things. We don't have anything in common any more."

"I know, dear. But could you at least try? It might do no harm and he just might open up to you."

Rosemary sighed. "Okay. I'll ask him. Tell you what, I'll leave work early tomorrow - I'm owed a half day - and I'll speak to him then. Maybe he'll talk to me if you're not around."

"Thank you darling." She got up and gave her fifteen-year-old daughter a kiss on the forehead, marveling at her maturity. She'd gotten herself a job for the summer holidays and was already acting like a grownup.

 

 

3. Rosemary

 

Although she didn't say it, Rosemary was also worried about David. She hadn't wanted to worry her mother any more than she already was, so she had kept her mouth shut. Something else bothered Rosemary. Someone had been poking around her things. The clothes in her wardrobe had been moved and she could almost swear that someone had been using her makeup. She didn't think it was her mother, so that only left one possibility.

The following morning, she asked Mr. Gardener if it was okay for her to take the afternoon off. As it was Wednesday, the florist wasn't particularly busy - nor was it likely to be - and he readily agreed. She passed the morning arranging a few bouquets for delivery and dealing with some customer enquiries. Before she knew it, it was one o'clock. She said goodbye to Mr. Gardener - a great name for a florist - and headed home.

As she approached the house, she was wondering in her mind how best to play it with David. Should she come right out and ask him what the matter was? Or should she just play it by ear? Get him talking first, and then see what happened. She decided to play it by ear. Something in the back of her mind, something subconscious, made her open and close the front door quietly. The house was silent apart from the muffled drone of music from upstairs.

The living room and kitchen were empty. She threw her bag and coat across the chair and headed up the stairs. As she approached the top of the stairs she realized that the music was coming, not from David's room as she had expect, but from her own room. Something clicked in the back of her mind. She eased the door open.

There, in the middle of the room, was a pretty young girl. She had her eyes closed and was swaying along with the music. She was wearing a tartan kilt skirt and a soft, black polo-necked jumper. It was, of course, her brother David. And yet it wasn't him. It really was a girl. She was tall and elegant and relaxed and beautiful. Rosemary felt a twinge of jealousy. And with that, the girl in the centre of the room - the girl who was her brother - opened her eyes.

 

 

4. Jennifer and Rosemary

 

There was a deathly silence as the track on the CD stopped and Jennifer and Rosemary stared at each other. An eternity seemed to pass between them. Finally, Rosemary spoke.

"David? Is that you?"

Jennifer gawped at her sister. The absurdity of the situation almost made her laugh. "Actually," she said. "My name is Jennifer."

It was Rosemary's turn to gawp.

"I'm sorry for borrowing your clothes," continued Jennifer. "It's just that I have none of my own."

For a moment, Rosemary didn't respond. Then she said, "Oh my God! You're so pretty!"

Jennifer blushed. "Thank you," she said.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Years. I've always felt that I was a girl. Deep down. Inside. Where the true things are."

Rosemary walked over and took Jennifer by the hand. "Sit down," she said, indicating the bed. "Sit down and tell me everything.

 

 

5. Rosemary and Jennifer - later

 

They were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea. Jennifer had changed out of her sister's clothes and was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Without the makeup and the clothes, she looked like a boy again. Rosemary found it difficult to reconcile the two images with the one person she had known for most of her life.

"What are we going to do about Mum?" Jennifer asked.

"I think we should tell her," Rosemary replied, sipping her tea.

"Will she be able to handle it?"

"Better than you think. She's worried about you. That's why I took a half day off work. She thought you might open up to me seeing as we used to be so close." She paused, embarrassed. "That's something I feel I should apologize for. When we were young we were very close. But then, when I went through puberty, you know, I didn't think we had anything in common any more. After all, you were a boy and I was becoming a woman. I didn't think you'd be interested in the kind of stuff I was interested in. You know. Fashion and the like." She laughed. "I couldn't have been more wrong."

With that, the two of them burst out laughing. They laughed so hard that tears came down their faces. When the laughter had finally subsided, Jennifer said, "How are we going to tell Mum?"

Rosemary thought for a moment. "Come on," she said. "Get your coat. We're going out."

"Where are we going?"

Her reply was music to Jennifer's ears. "We're going shopping!"

 

6. Rosemary and Jennifer - continued

 

"Okay," Rosemary said, as they entered the shop. "My clothes fit you, right?"

Jennifer nodded.

"Great. That means you're the same size as me. It'll make it easier to select the right outfit. Now, first things first. Let's get you some underwear. You can't be wearing mine all the time."

"Shhh," Jennifer said, looking around, embarrassed. "People might hear you."

They went to the lingerie section. Jennifer's heart was beating wildly in her chest. She looked around at all the bras and panties and slips. Finally she was going to get some of her very own, panties that had never been worn by anyone else. Rosemary, however, was all business.

"We can't linger in the lingerie," she punned. "We have to get you home and changed before Mum arrives. We can go shopping for pleasure some other time."

Jennifer didn't care what Rosemary said. This was pleasurable. Just being there with her sister. Picking out clothes for her. This was perfectly pleasurable, thank you very much.

 

 

7. Rosemary and Jennifer - continued

 

Jennifer and Rosemary stood in front of the full-length mirror in Rosemary's room. Both of them were wearing similar black dresses. Jennifer's was sleeveless, ending just above her knee. It fitted nicely over her boy-hips. She wore a little makeup and a pair of court shoes with one-inch heels. Everything she wore was brand new. Rosemary had paid for it and Jennifer promised to pay her back.

Rosemary's dress was quite similar to Jennifer's, though it was long-sleeved. Rosemary was also curvier and the dress seemed to cling to her hips and her bosom. She almost envied Jennifer her slimness. Jennifer, on the other hand, almost envied Rosemary's curves. Such was life.

The two of them smiled at each other's reflections and declared themselves delighted with their appearance. Moments later, though, Jennifer went pale when she heard the front door bang shut. Mum was home.

 

8. Anne and Rosemary

 

Anne had to sit down. She couldn't believe what her daughter had just told her.

"Oh my God! Poor David."

"Her name is Jennifer, Mum. She's a real girl. She just happens to have been born with the wrong body."

Anne tried to take it in but it was difficult. Naturally, she was shocked. But, if what her daughter had told her was true, then it was something she would have to deal with. Better for her son to be happy and content as Jennifer than to be miserable and depressed as David. Christ, she thought, is this my fault for not remarrying? Rosemary seemed to know what she was thinking.

"It's not your fault, Mum. It's just the way it is. Some people are born with the wrong bodies. Their brains and their feelings tell them they're one thing, and their bodies tell them they're another. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult and lonely that must be. Look, why don't I call her down and you can meet her?"

Anne nodded.

 

9. Anne, Rosemary and Jennifer

 

Anne gasped when Jennifer entered the kitchen. She couldn't believe that this beautiful girl was her son David. She looked so elegant and sophisticated in her black dress. She looked so, comfortable. It was as if she had been born for this. Which, in a way, she had been.

"Hi Mum."

"Hi," said Anne and she started to cry.

"Mum," said Jennifer, rushing over to her. "Don't cry." She hugged her mother. "It's okay. It's still me."

"You're so beautiful," her mother said. "I have lost a son but gained a daughter."

The three women hugged each other and held on to each other and cried. It was some time before they let go.

 

10. Jennifer

 

Later that night, Jennifer climbed into bed. Rosemary had given her one of her nightdresses. Nothing fancy, just a flannel one, but comfortable nonetheless. She found it hard to sleep, her mind racing over the events of the day. There was a strange feeling inside her, in her heart. It was hope.

They had stayed up talking late into the night. Jennifer had told her mother everything. About how she'd always felt like a girl. About how she used to sneak into Rosemary's room to try on her clothes. About how she didn't fit in with the boys at school. And they had cried some more and hugged each other.

Tomorrow being Saturday, Jennifer and her mother were going to go shopping. Rosemary had promised to go through her wardrobe and give any clothes she didn't want to Jennifer. It was, she said, cool having a sister. She would also teach Jennifer everything there was to know about being a girl. Not that she needed to, because Jennifer looked so beautiful and so poised already.

Some time later, Jennifer fell into a dreamless sleep.

11. Rosemary

 

Rosemary didn't have as much trouble sleeping. She had taken it all in her stride. It was going to be so cool to have a sister. Someone to share makeup tips with. Someone to confide in. Someone to swap clothes with. A proper sister in fact. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

 

12. Anne

 

Anne, too, was having trouble sleeping. Although she could see how happy Jennifer was, she was nonetheless worried. She worried about how people were going to react. She worried that Jennifer might be attacked if people found out. And she missed her son. Her little boy, whom she had breast-fed and raised and looked after for all of his life. Her little man, she used to call him. Her little man was gone and that made her very sad. She cried some more. Small, silent tears. Tears that ran down her cheeks and glistened momentarily on her pillow before soaking into the fabric. She cried for herself. And for Jennifer. Most of all, though, she cried for David.

 

The End.

  

  

  

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