Jamie          by: Karen Elizabeth L.            © 2000

 

Being a four foot, ten inch tall boy at the age of thirteen isn’t easy. I got teased a lot and I’ve never been able to put up with all of the short jokes. Worse yet, the doctor’s told mom that I couldn’t be expected to grow more than two to three inches even with my upcoming growth surge. I was stuck as a midget forever.

Tom Morris and George Harlon had just finished their daily round of abusing me, you know the routine; "Does your mommy know you’re here?" and too many other stupid jokes to talk about. This time though they were going to pay, just like every other kid who had abused me had paid.

Tom’s red sportscar was the love of his life, I doubt that he thought as much of his girlfriend as he did that car. That was what I’d use to make him pay. I carefully gathered up a few piles of dog crap in a plastic bag then dumped them all over the front seat of his precious little car. I knew that he had a habit of jumping into the car without looking so he’d never know what was waiting until it was too late. Just for added measure though I stuck the end of a pair of nail clippers into the valves on two of his tires, flattening them.

George, as Tom’s best friend, got a ride home every afternoon in Tom’s car so he’d also share in the delightful little trap I laid on the front seat. Of course, the day being very warm and muggy would only add to their enjoyment when they got into the car! With two flat tires and only one spare they’d have to walk home. A hot sunny day, smelling like fresh dog crap, my targets would certainly remember this day!

Unfortunately, their parents were none too thrilled about cleaning the clothes that Tom and George wore or the front seat of the car. I got called into the Vice Principal’s office the next day along with my mother.

"This makes the third time this month I’ve had to discipline you Jim," The vice principal solemnly intoned. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Only three times" I joked. "Guess I’m having a bad month, I’ll try harder though!"

For some strange reason the Vice Principal didn’t think I was funny. "No, you won’t try harder here young man. I’ve had nothing but trouble with you for the last three years. You spend more time in my office than I do."

"Do you see a problem?" I asked flippantly. "Let’s hope the principal doesn’t find out that you’re shirking your job."

His face turned the same color as Tom’s car and his veins bulged in his neck. "You won’t be the one to tell him," The vice principal screamed. "As of today you have to find another school. You’re expelled!"

"Please wait," Mom pleaded. "He’ll change, I promise he will."

"I’m sorry Mrs. Koor, but you’ve said that too many times." He told mom as he handed her the official papers. I’m afraid it’s just too late. I wish you luck with James but I doubt you’ll have it."

Mom was in tears as we left the school. Who would’ve figured they’d actually expel me? Didn’t I have a right to an education?

"We’ll work something out," I casually remarked as we got into our car. "Riverglenn isn’t the only school in the world."

"It’s more than that you troublemaking little snot!" Mom snarled. "There’s a summons waiting for us at home. It seems that Tom’s family has decided to press charges for the damage you did to his car."

"Hey," I shrugged. "He shouldn’t have been messing with me. He got what he deserved."

I got the back of my mother’s hand across my mouth. "You don’t get it, do you?" She screamed. "They want to have you declared incorrigible and sent away to a juvenile detention center until you’re eighteen. Then they’d like to have your useless butt thrown in jail for the rest of your life!"

"Never happen," I said flippantly just before mom’s hand lashed out again.

"Just shut up!" She yelled. "Not another word until I say so!"

When the hearing finally came I was stunned. The judge heard everyone’s story then pronounced me guilty as charged. One week later mom and I returned to hear the judge pass the sentence he had decided on. Not only could I be sent away, the judge was recommending it! I wanted to cry when I heard the judge sentence me to the next five years in a detention center.

"Please your honor," Mom begged and cried. "He’s all that I have since my husband died years ago. I know he’s a problem but for God’s sake there must be another way. I couldn’t go on without him."

The judge thought for a moment then shook his head. "I don’t think that he deserves it, but I will give you another chance. My secretary will give you the name of a psychologist that has worked wonders with delinquent boys in the past. Make an appointment and talk to the lady, if you can reach some agreement I’ll suspend the sentence."

"Thank you, your honor." Mom cried. "I promise that we’ll work something out, whatever it may take."

I felt like mom had sold out by giving into the judge but I figured that seeing a shrink was better than five years in a kid’s jail. Mom made an appointment but to my surprise the lady wanted to see mom alone for the first several visits. It was only after mom had met with her five times already that I was to go one the sixth visit. Seemed goofy to me, if I’m the one who has to see a shrink, why was mom the only one going? Of course, it didn’t matter, I really didn’t want to see a shrink, it was just a way to stay out of kiddy prison.

Mom gave our names to the receptionist and we were led to a small office where we met the shrink, a woman named Mrs. Donigan. She and mom talked for a few minutes about how I’d been a problem since my dad died four years ago. "Without a male influence, he’s become uncontrollable." Mom told her. "I hope this will work."

"It hasn’t failed yet," Mrs. Donigan smiled. "Fifty patients in the last three years and not a single complain."

"Then let’s get on with it," Mom sighed. "I just wish…."

"I know Linda," The shrink told her. "If there was any other way, we’d certainly try that first."

Turning to me she smiled. "I’d like to speak to your mom privately in the hall. Would you give us a minute please?"

I shrugged and nodded my head. Mom brushed my long, unkempt, hair away from my eyes and gave me a funny look before she walked out.

Mrs. Donigan smiled at me and put a CD into a stereo behind her desk. "Something to listen to while I talk to your mom." She smiled at me one last time then followed mom out of the office.

I heard a familiar hit song start to play but that’s all I remembered until mom and the shrink came back. By then the music had stopped and I was rubbing my eyes, feeling bored and a little sleepy.

"All right Jimmy," Mrs. Donigan told me. "I guess you want to know what’s going to happen to you?"

"Hey, I talk, you listen. What’s so tough about that?" I asked.

"No dear," Mom said firmly. "Mrs. Donigan and I are going to make some changes in your life. You probably won’t like them now but you’ll get used to them and you’ll probably even start to enjoy your new life."

"What new life? I thought I was coming to talk while she listens."

"No dear, that’s not it." Mom said softly. "I’ve had a few meetings with Mrs. Donigan here and we decided that there wasn’t a thing to talk to you about. You and I have tried that in the past and it never worked. It’s time to quit talking and make a few changes."

"Like what?" I asked, feeling ticked off. What nerve they had to talk about me behind my back.

Mom started to talk but she couldn’t seem to get the words out right. "You’re too aggressive…, I can’t handle it….., going to calm you down…."

She shook her head and gave up. "I can’t do it," She told Mrs. Donigan. "Will you please take over?"

Mrs. Donigan nodded to mom then turned to me. "What your mom is trying to say is that you’ve become far too aggressive since your puberty started. You should have had an adult male to channel that aggression but that couldn’t be. You’re mother and I have agreed that if your over aggressive male behavior is left unchecked, you’ll end up either in prison or dead. Since she doesn’t want to see either happen we’ve decided to take steps to calm you down, make you easier to get along with."

"We’re going to turn you into a little girl." Mom blurted out.

"Are you nuts?" I laughed . "Just wave a magic wand and make me into a sissy?"

"Not a sissy Jamie," Mrs. Donigan said firmly. "Only boys can be sissies and you won’t be a boy."

"You’re nuts, both of you!" I shouted. "You can’t just start calling me Jamie and expect me to be a prissy little girl, it’ll never happen."

"Watch the tape Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told me as she turned on the small TV next to her desk and slid a tape into the VCR.

I couldn’t believe my eyes! There on the tape was a boy who looked just like me being led into a room by a woman who looked just like my mother. The woman told the boy to go behind a screen, take his clothes off and hand them to her. She then handed him back a pair of girl’s underpants and a Tee shirt. He stepped out from behind the screen dressed in girl’s underwear and stood calmly while the woman put a slip, dress, socks and shoes on him. She kissed him on the cheek and pointed to a table filled with baby dolls. The boy skipped over to the table and spent a long time playing "mommy" to his "babies".

"This is a fantastic tape," I laughed. "It’s great, but it’s not me."

"Take off your shoes and socks Jamie." Mrs. Donigan ordered.

Suddenly I felt like I just had to get my shoes and socks off and wasted no time in doing so. When I peeled off my socks I couldn’t believe my eyes, my toenails were painted pink!

"Loosen your belt and open your pants Jamie." Mrs. Donigan ordered while I stared at my toes. "Feel your underwear."

I did as I was told and recoiled in shock as my hand touched a pair of silky, girl’s underpants!

"How?" I stammered. "How could you…"

"The music you listened to hypnotized you Jamie." Mrs. Donigan explained. "It made you temporarily willing to do anything your mom asked of you."

"It better never happen again!" I insisted. "Do you understand?"
"No Jamie, you better understand." Mom broke in. "From now on you’ll do as you’re told. The music also left a post hypnotic suggestion in your brain, it can’t keep you calm forever but it will keep you obedient long enough to make a sweet little girl out of you. After that, the hormones will take over and you won’t have a choice."

"I have a choice now and I won’t do it." I insisted. "I’ll run away, you can’t stop me from doing that."

Mom smiled. "All right Jamie honey, put my lipstick back please."

I thought she was nuts until I saw the tube of lipstick in my hand and tasted it on my lips.

"Tell me I didn’t just put your lipstick on." I asked hesitantly.

"Mom smiled again and handed me her compact. Sure enough, the face staring back at me had lipstick on.

"I don’t remember anything," I cried. "What’s happening to me."

"Just a demonstration of how obedient you really will be," Mom smiled. "Besides it’s already too late to run away."

I looked at her quizzically.

"Do you feel just a little soreness on the inside of your left thigh, right about here?" She asked, motioning with her hand.

"A little, now that you mention it. Why?"

"A time release implant of female hormones," Mom coldly replied. "That’s why it’s too late to run away; you’re already on your way to becoming a girl. You’ll probably notice the mental changes first, you’ll take more of in interest in pretty clothes, and playing girl games. The physical changes will happen in a couple of years when you go through puberty. Right now there won’t be anything unusual for a nine year old girl though."

"Nine year old girl, what are you talking about? I’m going to be fourteen on my next birthday and I’m a boy." I protested.

"No dear, you’re my nine year old daughter Jamie." Mom corrected me. "You haven’t done well in school since you were nine so I’m staring you over at that age."

"Not many people ever get the chance to go back and correct mistakes made when they were younger Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told me. "You’re a very lucky girl."

"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I’m a boy, a boy, a boy!"

Mom gave me that strange smile again. "How old are you?" She asked sweetly.

"Four…, I’m nine but I’ll be a big girl soon."

"And what’s your name?"

"Jamie Lynn Koor." I heard myself say.

"Are you a girl or a boy, Jamie?"

I wanted to scream "Boy" but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t, the words wouldn’t come out. Instead I heard myself giggle and say "That’s silly, I’m a girl."

"What’s happening?" I cried, terrified of what had happened.

"You’ve just witnessed what will happen whenever anyone asks you those kinds of questions Jamie." Mrs. Donigan said with a smile. "You know you’re really a boy, you know what you’re real age is, but you’ll never be able to tell anyone."

"From now on you’re my pretty little daughter, Jamie Lynn. Right?" Mom asked.

"No!" I hissed. "I’ll never go along with this stupid idea of yours, I’m a …"
Suddenly I stopped in mid sentence. I opened my mouth to finish what I started to say but different words came out. "I’m a nine year old girl, my name is Jamie Lynn, and I like kitty cats and puppy dogs."

Mom smiled at me. "I suggest you sit quietly and listen Jamie dear, there’s no point in trying to argue."

Mom and Mrs. Donigan explained everything in chilling detail. Mom and I would be moving to another state where no one knew us, instead of going to the ninth grade in the fall, I’d be starting the fourth grade. The hormones being released into my body would eventually change my shape into that of a little girl. As time went on I would experience the same changes that any other girl my age would experience. My body would round out, and I’d settle into the everyday life of a girl.

"Before your body changes though you’ll experience some mental changes." Mrs. Donigan explained. "You’ll be much calmer, far easier to get along with, and you’ll see the world differently. In short Jamie, with each passing day you’ll become a sweet little girl."

I was horror stricken. "You can’t really do that, can you? I mean I’ll always be a boy."

Mom shook her head "The hormones will do it Jamie, and no, there is no stopping them. Soon puppies and kittens will be very important to you, as will baby dolls. It’s all part of being a girl."

"No way!" I retorted. "I’ll never play with baby dolls, no one can make me do that!"

I saw mom’s lips move but I don’t remember hearing her say anything. Suddenly I felt very odd, I was holding something that I didn’t remember picking up. Looking down in my lap I shuddered as I saw the baby doll that I was cradling in one arm while feeding it a bottle. I tired to throw the doll away but instead ended up holding it and pretending to burp it.

"What happened?" I asked trying to clear the cobwebs from my mind. "Where did this come from?" I asked while still cuddling the baby doll.

"You’ve been holding it for close to an hour now Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told me. "You asked for your baby, said she was lonely."

I would have sworn she was nuts but I checked the watch in my pocket and the time was right. An hour had passed without me knowing it! Mom didn’t know that I carried the watch so there was no way she could have reset it.

"Why don’t you just tell me that I’m a little girl," I asked "You can make me dress like one, and play with baby dolls. Why bother telling me about it?"

"The hypnosis would never last that long Jamie," Mom explained. "It will last long enough to over come any temporary objections you may have though. Once we get past them, the hormones will take over and you’ll start to think of yourself as a girl."

"My company has a division in Arizona," Mom explained. "I explained everything and they’ve been sweet enough to get me a transfer to that division so that I can have the privacy which I’ll need to raise my daughter properly."

"Am I going to be a girl forever?" I stammered.

"The arrangement with the court is until you graduate from High School." Mrs. Donigan told me. "At that time you can make your own decision as to whether or not you want to be a male again."

"That’s in four years," I found myself thinking aloud.

"No, that’s in nine years," Mom said. "Remember, you’re just nine years old."

"Please don’t do this to me mom," I sobbed. "I can’t be a girl, everyone will know and laugh at me."

"No one will laugh Jamie," Mom told me as she pulled me close for a hug. It was then that she dropped her bombshell. "No one will ever be able to tell. You’re going to have an operation that will tuck everything away and make you look like any other girl. If you ever decide to be a boy again everything will be put back to normal and no one will ever know."

I don’t remember much of what was said after that, I was too busy crying to hear what they were saying. Finally mom dried my tears with a tissue, thanked Mrs. Donigan for her help and walked me back to our car. I was in a state of shock all the way home and collapsed on the sofa as soon as I got in the door.

"Jamie, please come here." Mom called from my room.

For a brief second I thought about ignoring her but instead I got off the sofa and walked to my room. It was like having no willpower of my own.

"I bought a few things for you earlier in the week," Mom said as she gestured towards clothes on my bed. "Aren’t they pretty?"

I looked at the ultra fancy party dress, the socks, girls shoes, and underwear on my bed and wanted to run. Instead I just nodded my head like a good girl and agreed with mom.

"Let’s get you all prettied up, okay Jamie?" She asked. "I just know you’re going to look so cute."

"Do I have to mom?" I asked, saying a silent prayer. "What if someone sees me."

"No one will see you dear," Mom told me as she began to unbutton my shirt. "And it wouldn’t matter, we won’t be living here after a few weeks anyhow."

She slipped my shirt off my back and reached for my belt.

"I can’t do it mom," I said as I held onto my belt. "I just really, really can’t."

There was that smile again.

"I just really, really, can’t wait to see how pretty I look!"

I wanted to die. Imagine me, a fourteen year old boy, standing in front of his mother and practically pleading to be dressed up like a little girl. Beaten again, I undid my belt and jeans. I stepped out of my jeans and stared down at the mint green panties with yellow flowers that I wore.

"How did you get these on me?" I asked out of morbid curiosity.

"You put them on yourself," Mom said with a silly looking grin. "I just thought you’d like to wear something soft and pretty and I was right."

I was about to make a smart comment but I found myself rubbing my butt through the panties. "They are awfully soft, and silky. Mine don’t feel anything like these."

"They do now Jamie, " Mom laughed. "These are what you’ll be wearing. Do you like them?"

I wanted to scream at her and demand to be given my old underwear but the silky feeling seemed to take over my thoughts.

"Yes, I guess so." I said timidly. "They feel different, nice, I guess."

Mom pulled me close and hugged me close. "Everything’s going to be okay Jamie, I promise. No one will laugh at you or tease you anymore. You’re going to be a cute girl and I’ll take good care of you."

"But what about school and my friends mom?" I asked through my tears.

"Name two people who would miss you?" Mom quizzed me. "Any two, teachers, other students, it doesn’t matter."

I thought about it for several minutes then broke down into sobs. "I can’t mom, there aren’t two people who would care if I lived or died."

"That’s not true Jamie," she told me softly. "I love you and care about you. I care enough to help you."

"By making me into a girl? How would that help?" I asked curtly.

"You’re too short, and too thin to be accepted properly as a boy." Mom explained. "Other boys would keep picking on you and you’d keep retaliating. It would never end."

"But I don’t look like a girl, do I?" I was afraid of the answer but somehow I just had to ask.

"I’m sorry honey, but yes you do. You’re actually a little shorter than average but as a girl, that won’t matter. You’ll be a sweet girl that everyone will love."

"But how can I be a girl mom, I don’t know anything about being a girls."

Even while I tried my best to argue my way out of the situation I was holding up my arms while mom lowered this really fancy thing she called a petticoat over them.

It must have been another of her suggestions but I just stood there feeling silly in a sea of ruffles and nylon.

"You will sweetie, just wait. You’re going to be taught all about being a girl; you’ll learn about clothes, and games, and how to act and talk just like a girl. While you’re learning these things you’ll also be conditioned to think of yourself as a little girl."

"It’s bad enough that you’re going to turn me into a girl but I would’ve been in high school, now I’ll be some little girl in Elementary School!"

"Don’t worry honey, you’ll grow up and be a young lady soon enough, for now though you have to relax and trust me." Mom said as she picked up the dress she wanted me to wear.

"Please mom, not a dress like that." I cried as she picked up a yellow dress with sheer, puffy sleeves, a skirt that seemed to go on forever, and a bright yellow satin sash.

I had seen little girls wearing that type of dress. They always looked so delicate and angelic, neither of which I wanted to be or even look like. I couldn’t even hope to pretend to be a boy in a dress like that and something told me that if mom ever got that dress over my head I could forget about being a boy for a while.

I started to struggle but it was no use. Once again mom smiled and said something I didn’t understand and the next thing I knew she was buttoning up the back of the dress. Beaten, I stood meekly while she tied the sash into an enormous bow then sat like a good little girl, my hands folded in my lap, while mom put lace anklets and a pair of black Mary Jane’s on my feet.

Thoroughly humiliated, I sat while mom brushed out my long hair then tied a yellow ribbon into my new ponytail.

"You look so pretty Jamie, why don’t you look in the mirror!" Mom told me after making sure my dress covered my petticoat.

I tried not to get up but my feet had a mind of their own and led me straight to a large full length mirror where I saw this cute little girl all dressed up for a party. I broke down and sobbed, there was no way that little girl could have been me but she was. I was a fourteen year old boy damn it, but the mirror said otherwise. No one would look at me and see anything but an adorable little girl.

"Tell me you honestly don’t like the way you feel right now Jamie." Mom pressed. "Try to tell me that you don’t like the way your panties feel and that you really don’t like feeling the cool air as it swirls under your dress."

"I don’t like it mom," I screamed, amazed that I had gotten away with it. "I don’t want to be a girl, get me out of this stuff!" I twisted and turned, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t reach the buttons that held me in my frilly prison. Without help, I was stuck. Stuck as a nine year old girl in a frilly dress and even frillier underwear!

Mom shook her head in dismay. "Calm down Jamie, I don’t want you messing up your new dress."

I refused to calm down though and began even wilder gyrations, trying to remove the hated dress.

Mom said something , then she smiled at me and I immediately calmed down. I stared in the mirror for a few seconds then my hands began to flip my dress back and forth. Soon I was smiling and giggling, twirling back and forth in front of the mirror, like any other girl, thrilled to be wearing such a pretty dress.

"Good girl," Mom exclaimed happily. "I knew you’d love the way your new clothes felt. It’s fun to be a girl, you get to wear such pretty clothes and they’ll feel so much better than anything you’ve ever worn before."

"It’s such a pretty dress mommy, I love it!" I exclaimed as I rushed over and gave her a kiss. "can we go out somewhere so I can show everyone how pretty my new dress is?"

The kiss jolted me back to reality. What had I done, calling her mommy and begging her to take me out in public, dressed like this? I couldn’t help myself though, mommy’s suggestions just seemed like so much fun!

"How about a trip to the mall, we can shop for some more pretty dresses, would you like that?

I managed to call up enough reserve will power to break though the fog. "What have you done to me?"

"Nothing much," Mom said with a sly grin. "Just made things a little easier on you. Shortened your adjustment period you might say. You’re going to think of yourself as a girl for a few hours while we go shopping. And you’ll call me mommy from now on, I think it sounds so cute."

Promise me that no one will know who I am, please mommy?"

There were times I had begged mom for a special present for Christmas or my birthday but that begging was nothing compared to the intensity I poured into my begging now.

"It’s okay Jamie," Mom said softly. "Relax and be a girl, relax and be a girl."

I stared at mommy for a little while a feeling of warmth and security flowed over me. What was so bad about going to the mall, I wondered? Mommy would be with me and she promised to get me some pretty dresses.

"Can we go now mommy?" I asked. "I want to look at all the pretty clothes!"

What was I doing? I didn’t want to wear these clothes, I didn’t want to go anywhere, and I sure didn’t want to shop for more dresses yet I couldn’t stop myself. I felt all excited about going out with my mommy, showing off my pretty dress, and couldn’t wait for mommy to buy me more pretty things.

"Here’s a nice little purse for you Jamie," Mommy said as she handed me a yellow, patent leather purse with a big flower decal on it. "I put some tissues in it for you and even a little wallet."

I was so excited as I opened my new purse. Mommy had placed a small package of tissues in it along with a yellow change purse with some coins, and a yellow wallet with a dollar bill in it.

"Thank you for the money mommy!" I squealed in delight. "Maybe I could buy an ice cream cone while we’re shopping?"

"It’s your money Jamie," Mommy smiled sweetly. "You can spend it on anything you like."
"Just like a big girl!" I exclaimed.

I held mommy’s hand and skipped through the parking lot at the mall. Once inside I kept a very tight grip on mommy’s hand, there might be bad strangers around and I didn’t want to be separated from my mommy.

It was fun walking through the big mall with all those people. A lot of ladies that saw me and mommy stopped to tell me how pretty I looked and what a pretty dress I had on. I wanted mommy to be proud of me so, like a big girl, I smiled and thanked all of the ladies who stopped to talk to us.

We bought lots of pretty stuff for me like underwear, and PJ’s, dresses, and some play clothes too. I guess lots of girls like me must like Winnie the Pooh because the stores had all kinds of stuff with Winnie and his friends on them. I got a nightgown with Winnie on it, another with Tigger, and a third one with Roo on it. They’re so pretty and comfy, I can’t wait to go home and put one on but I don’t know which one I’ll wear first since they’re all so cute!

Mommy let me pick out some underwear all by myself which was really neat ‘cause I picked some real pretty panties with ruffles and bows on them. Mommy said they’re made of something called Nylon, just like the panties I had on and the silky part of my petticoat.

Mommy went with me into the dressing room and helped me out of my dress and petticoat so I could try on lots of other pretty dresses and clothes. I hated to take off my pretty dress and especially my fluffy petticoat but mommy said that if I didn’t I couldn’t try on any new ones so I was a good girl and held very still while mommy undid my dress and helped me out of my petticoat.

Mommy picked out a light purple dress that wasn’t anywhere near as pretty and fancy as my party dress but the material was so soft that I just knew it would be so much fun and comfy to wear. Next I had to try on a white skirt and pink top which was soft and comfy like the purple dress so I asked mommy to buy them for me.

Mommy made me really happy when she handed me this cute blue top with a big picture of a unicorn

on it. It felt so nice and comfy and when I put it on it fit me perfectly so mommy said since I was such a good little girl I could have that one too!

I also got a couple of shorts sets that were made out of a silky material that gave me goosebumps when I first tried them on! They looked so neat, I’d seen other girls wearing them and had always wanted a pair, now I was going to get a whole bunch of them in pink, purple, red, and light blue.

Mommy said that I didn’t need dresses for school since I’d have to wear a skirt and blouse uniform in my new school. I can’t seem to remember much at all about my old school, but mommy said it wasn’t very nice and that I was going to have a good time in my new school so I guess it’s not that important.

I got lots of neat stuff that night, a couple of skirts, some dresses, oodles of undies, shorts, and tops too. Mommy even bought me a couple of pairs of stockings like big girls wear, she said I can wear them the next time I get dressed up. When mommy finished paying for everything we took all of my new clothes to our car then went back for the ice cream mommy promised to let me buy.

"Mommy, I have to go to the girl’s room." I told her as I skipped back to the mall. "Can you come with me?"

"Of course I can honey," Mom told me. "I don’t want you getting lost or meeting up with any mean strangers."

When we go to the ladies bathroom I sort of felt that something was wrong but mommy squeezed my hand and told me how much she loved me which took away all of the bad feelings. I went into a stall, picked up my dress and pulled down my panties to go, then I put everything back the way it was so that I’d be just as pretty as when mommy put my dress on me. I wouldn’t want anyone to see me without panties on because mommy said that I’m just a little different than other girls but we’re going to get that fixed real soon. That night I put on a blue nightgown with teddy bears all over it, curled up under my sheets, gave mommy a goodnight kiss, then went to sleep dreaming about all of my pretty new clothes.

The next morning I woke up because I had a bad dream. I dreamed that mommy and I were shopping for new dresses for me when everyone started to point at me and laugh, saying that I was a sissy boy in a dress. I couldn’t figure out why I would have such a horrible dream until I got up to go to the bathroom and saw the nightgown I was wearing. That was bad enough but when I got into the bathroom and lifted the nightgown I found that I was also wearing a pair of pink nylon panties with ruffles across the seat. It hadn’t been a dream, it was a nightmare I found when I went to my closet and saw all of the new clothes. Mommy really had taken me to the mall as a little girl and bought me girl’s clothes!

"Mommy, what happened?" I screamed from my room. "Please tell me you didn’t take me anywhere!"

"Calm down Jamie," Mommy said as she came into my room. "You were the perfect little lady and had a wonderful time."

"But people saw me in that yellow party dress you made me wear!" I cried. "They must have laughed their heads off."

"No one laughed at you Jamie," Mom said firmly. "Several ladies did stop to compliment you on how pretty you looked. You were such a sweet girl, smiling and thanking them. I was so proud of you!"
Memories of holding mommy’s hand, skipping through the parking lot, a breeze gently lifting my petticoat and blowing across my ruffled, pantied butt, came rushing back to me. I could see the ladies smiling as they approached us, leaning over to get a better look at my dress and telling me how cute I was and I could hear my girlish sounding voice thanking them.

"How mommy, how did you do that to me?" I asked in wonder. "I remember being such a little sissy in that dress, then trying on other clothes."

Mom shrugged. "It was easy." She said with a laugh. "One of the suggestions Mrs. Donigan and I planted in your brain was that you’ll become a little girl when ever I tell you to. You’ll forget all about being a boy and be the sweetest little girl a mother could ever hope for. You spent half of yesterday afternoon and all of the evening as a nine year old girl."

"Oh my God," I lamented. "You can turn me on and off like a light bulb?"

"Sort of, " Mom giggled. "But don’t worry, I won’t do it to embarrass you or anything. You’re going to be reluctant to do what needs done at first Jamie, so I’ll need to use it to help you over the rough spots. Once you get used to being a girl and the hormones start to wok I won’t need it as much."

"No mommy," I started to shout. "It isn’t right, you can’t make me think that I’m a little girl."

"You mean you’re not my little girl?" I heard mommy ask.

"You’re silly mommy," I giggled. "Who else’s little girl would I be?"

"Damn!" I hissed. "Quit that!"

"Just as soon as I’m sure you’re really my little girl Jamie." Mommy said slowly. "What do you want to wear today?"

"It sure won’t be that dress again!" I told her. Suddenly I felt confused. I loved my pretty dress, what was wrong with wearing it again?"

"How about one of your pretty new running shorts sets?" Mommy offered. "I’m sure they’ll be comfortable and I’ll bet you’ll like they way they feel too."

"Okay mommy, I’ll wear the pink ones!" I agreed and rushed off to change.

My ruffled panties didn’t look good under my shorts so I pulled out a plainer pair from my drawer.

"Now how did I get a drawer full of panties?" I wondered to myself. "Mommy must have unpacked for me," I thought suddenly. "She so nice, I’ll have to give her a couple of extra kisses!"

I changed m panties and pulled on my shorts, noticing that they looked so much nicer without the bulges from my ruffled panties. I hated to have to take off my ruffled ones because they made me feel so good but even these plain white ones made out of that nylon stuff made me feel so pretty!

I brushed out my long blonde hair, grabbed a hot pink ponytail holder off my dresser (I don’t remember them being there before but suddenly I’ve got a dozen in all different colors.), then ran out to show mommy how I looked.

"Mommy, mommy, my new shorts are so nice!" I called out as I rushed to her open arms. "Thank you mommy," I said as I smothered her with kisses.

"My goodness, I’m getting all kinds of kisses," Mommy laughed. "What’s the special occasion?"

"I just wanted to say thanks for all of the pretty clothes you bought me and tell you that I think you’re the most wonderful mommy a girl could have!"

"You’re most welcome Jamie," Mom told me as she held me tight. "I’m just happy to have such a sweet, pretty little girl like you for a daughter."

We hugged each other for a couple of minutes before I suddenly realized what I had done. I started to tense up but then I heard mommy’s soft voice.

"Calm down Jamie," She was telling me. "Everything’s okay."

"How can it be okay?" I sobbed pitifully. "I’m all dressed up like a little girl waiting for her mommy to fix her ponytail. I just took off a pair of sissy looking panties but put on another pair of panties instead of my own underwear. Speaking of which, how did I get a drawer full of panties and where are my underwear?"

"You are a little girl Jamie, there’s nothing wrong with dressing like one. Your old underwear, and all of your old clothes are gone. You have a lot of pretty outfits now so you won’t need those ugly boy clothes anymore."

"No, you can’t do this mommy, you just can’t." I screamed through my tears.

"That will be enough of that young lady," I heard mommy say in a stern voice. Then she whispered those words again, "Relax and be a girl Jamie, relax and be a girl."

I started to feel funny. I knew she was making me think I was a girl again but this time she wouldn’t get away with it. I was to going to fight these feelings with every ounce of strength I had! A fog started to cloud my mind. I knew that if I let it in, I’d become a little girl named Jamie again.

"What do you want to do today Jamie?" I heard mom ask through the descending fog. I concentrated as hard as I could but all of a sudden I heard myself say "Can I get my ears pierced mommy? A lot of girls my age have their ears pierced."

Good grief, what in heaven’s name was I doing? I couldn’t believe I was asking mommy to let me get my ears pierced. Hopefully she hadn’t picked up on what I had said.

"That’s a wonderful idea Jamie!" Mom clapped her hands in glee. "I think you’re big enough to wear pierced earrings. We’ll get you several different pairs so you’ll be able to match them with any outfit you wear."

"Oh joy," I thought to myself. "Earrings for every outfit, what more could a guy ask for?"

"Thank you mommy," I found myself saying. "I can’t wait to see how pretty I’ll look."
It was as if I was another person altogether. Where were these thoughts and feelings coming from?

"Mommy," I asked. "Could I ask a question please?"

"Go right ahead sweetheart," Mommy smiled. "I’m listening."

"Why did I ask for pierced ears? I’ve never thought about them before."

"Yes you have sweetie," Mom explained. "All of the things that you’ve seen or heard little girls do as you were growing up were stored in your brain at some point. When I tell you to be a girl, you start to act the way you think a girl would. Don’t you want to wear pretty earrings?"

"Yes, I do mommy!" I giggled excitedly. "I can’t wait to get my ears pierced and wear earrings like a grown up lady."

"Then it’s all settled, we’ll get your ears pierced this afternoon and maybe an ice cream cone for being so brave!"

"Goody, goody, Ice cream!" I shouted while jumping up and down. "I love ice cream!"

Once again, reality crashed in on my new little world. "Tell me I didn’t do what I think I just did." I asked lamely.

"Afraid so," Mom said with a sheepish grin. "Sorry, but you were getting to be a pain in the butt for a minute there. I missed my sweet daughter."

With no more room for discussion and no stomach for a tantrum I waited for mommy to dress then followed her to the car and off to get my ears pierced.

Once we got to the mall I was dragging my feet, trying to delay what I knew was unavoidable. Mommy had to ask me to walk faster several times and I could tell that she was becoming irritated with me.

"Pay attention young lady," She said sternly. "You can either quit stalling and get this over with on your own or once we get into the mall, I will put you over my knee, pull your pants down and spank you! Do you want everyone to see your pretty panties while I spank you?"

"No mommy, I’ll be good." I promised. "Please don’t spank me."

"Good girl," Mommy told me as she patted me on the head. "Now take my hand and walk with me."

I hesitated for a second or so until mommy turned and gave me that look. Before she could say anything I quickly grabbed her hand and promised to be a good girl. What’s really weird is even though she hadn’t told me become a girl I suddenly felt happy and secure holding her hand and walking with her. Could there be some left over effects of thinking of myself as a girl, I wondered?

Mom wasted no time, taking me directly to a jewelry store that had a big sign advertising ear piercing. As we walked into the shop I panicked and began to pull back. I ran out of the store and sat on a bench. Mommy looked at me very crossly then leaned over and whispered to me.

"You don’t want to be nine years old, do you Jamie?" She asked. "How about being fourteen and in high school?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please mommy!"

Mommy had an evil grin on her face. "Fine, you can be a fourteen year old girl in your old school. You’ll look great with a cute figure. I’ll bet some of your old classmates would find you quite attractive. You have ten seconds to get over there and get your ears pierced or you’re going back to your old school young lady!"

I didn’t need any further prodding, I was on my way back into the store before she could count to two.

"My daughter would like to get her ears pierced," mommy told the clerk

"May I pick out some pretty earrings too mommy?" I asked without being prompted, hoping to make up with her.

Mommy smiled at me and I instantly felt better. "Sure sweetheart, once the lady’s done with your ears I’ll let you pick out any five pairs that you like."

"Thank you mommy," I said in as sweet a little girl’s voice that I could. A second later I felt something cold against my ears then felt a brief, sharp, pain. It was final, I now had pierced ears.

That shopping trip ended with five pairs of earrings as mommy as well as a new hairstyle.

Mommy had kept the hairstyling a surprise until the very last minute. We were walking through a department store hand in hand, headed back to the car when suddenly she pulled me off to the hair styling department.

"I’d like to change my daughter’s style a little bit," She told the stylist with a smile. "Something a little shorter, say about to here." She pointed to just below my ears.

Mommy and the stylist looked over several books while I had to be a good little girl and sit quietly. Finally they decided on a style and I was led back where my hair was shampooed and styled. Thirty minutes later I was walking back to the car with a typical little girl’s hairstyle of bangs and ends that curled over. Mommy’s last surprise was a bow which perfectly matched my running shorts and top which she tied into my hair.

"Was the haircut necessary?" I asked when I got into the car. "I was behaving wasn’t I?"

"You were wonderful Jamie," Mommy said proudly. "But I want to make sure we remove all traces of the old you. When you look into a mirror the only thing you should see is a pretty little girl." She told me as I stared at my reflection in the car mirror.

She was absolutely right of course, with my new hairstyle, gold started earrings in my newly pierced ears, my size and clothes, I was the picture of a cute little girl.

"But I don’t know anything about being a girl mommy," I sighed. "someone’s going to notice that this pretty little girl acts just like a boy."

"No they’re not Jamie," Mom smiled as though laying down a hand filled with aces at a poker game. "Aunt Patty is going to be staying with us for a while to teach you how to be a girl."

"No, not Aunt Patty," I screamed. She was my favorite aunt. "I never wanted her to find out about this. Why did you have to tell her?"

"She understands Jamie," Mom assured me. "She loves you and she’s willing to help you."

"By teaching me how to act like a little girl?"

"Would you rather act like a teenage boy in a little girl’s dress?" Mom asked.

Why did she always have such good comebacks? I could imagine the laughter if people thought that I was really a teenage boy wearing little girl’s clothes.

"No," I said beaten. "But Aunt Patty? I’ll be totally humiliated if she sees me in a dress."

"She’ll think you’re a doll Jamie dear," Mommy told me. "Actually, you look so much cuter as a little girl than you were as a boy."

"Somehow I don’t feel any better." I said as I absent mindedly toyed with the elastic leg of my panties under my shorts. "When is she coming?"

"Monday morning will be the start of girl classes for you honey." Mommy announced. "You’ll have to pay close attention because we’re moving in about six weeks."

I was up bright and early Monday morning so that mommy could help me pick out something to wear. I wanted to wear a pair of shorts but mommy insisted that I wear my pink dress with petticoats.

"Not that mommy," I complained. "I feel so silly wearing that dress."

"But honey, you look so adorable in that dress. I want to have you looking just right when Aunt Patty meets her new niece." Mommy explained as she undid a few buttons on my top.

"Please no mommy," I pleaded. "I feel like a baby when I wear dresses like that."

Mom thought for a few moments. Would you like me to help you honey?" She asked in a soft voice.

"How?"

"I can fix it so that you’ll like wearing a pretty dress like that." She said slowly. "Would that help?"

"You’ll turn me into a girl again," I said as tears started to cloud my eyes. "Then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy being with Aunt Patty."

"No honey," Mommy promised. "You’ll still enjoy being with Aunt Patty, I’ll just fix it so that you’ll like wearing pretty dresses."

"I’ll still be me and have fun with Aunt Patty?" I asked hopefully.

"You’ll be James but he’ll want to be Jamie and wear pretty dresses, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. Anything to spend time with my favorite person!

Mommy sat down on the bed next to me and began to talk to me. "You’ve always liked wearing my clothes, you love pretty dresses and wish you could be a girl."

I had very pleasant memories of making mommy laugh by putting on one of her dresses and walking around the house in her heels. She would put makeup and perfume on me and call me Jamie. I always had such a good time pretending to be a girl and it was going to get better ‘cause my Aunt Patty was going to spend time with us and teach me how to act like a girl. Maybe mommy will let me go out as a girl again next Halloween!

"Time to get dressed honey," Mommy said to me. I hurried over and got my petticoat, shoes, and socks.

"Can I wear that real fancy dress you bought me mommy?" I asked sweetly. "I got my petticoat and shoes and socks all by myself.

Mom nodded and I quickly pulled off my top and shorts and slid the petticoat over my head. "It felt so nice to wear such silky things," I though as I pulled it down and reached for the dress. "Girls are so lucky."

"I hope Aunt Patty thinks I’m pretty," I giggled as I pulled my dress over my head. "Can you button me up mommy, please?"

I was all dressed and feeling so pretty later on when the doorbell rang. I saw Aunt Patty’s car in the driveway and rushed to open the door.

"Hi Aunt Patty!" I smiled as she looked me over carefully. "Like my new dress?"

"It’s beautiful Jamie, and so are you." She said as she gave me a hug and kiss. "I’ve got a surprise for you."

"I love surprises Aunt Patty!" I giggled. "Can I have it please?"

"First I have to see if you’re going to be a good girl," She teased. "I don’t give surprises to bad little girls or good little boys."

"I’ll be good, and I’m a girl!" I insisted, fluffing my skirt to show off my petticoat.

"You’re a sweetie," Aunt Patty laughed. "But you’re still a boy."

Turning to mommy she winked. "Do I have permission to make a girl out of him?"

"I suppose it’s okay," Mommy winked back. "But maybe we should ask him."

"Please make me a girl Aunt Patty," I begged. "I’ll be such a good girl and I really, really, like to wear pretty dresses."

"I’m glad you like wearing pretty dresses Jamie," She told me. "A pretty girl like you should wear dresses whenever she can so people can see how pretty she is. Your mommy tells me you’re going to start wearing them a lot more soon. Is that right?"

I couldn’t believe it. I could easily call up memories of my pending conversion from a teenage boy to a nine year old girl but they no longer upset me. I was looking forward to being able to wear pretty dresses, silky underwear, and be a girl.

"That’s right Aunt Patty, mommy’s going to let me start fourth grade over as a girl! Isn’t that wonderful?"

"Yes it certainly is," My aunt agreed. "But you’ll have to learn your lessons well, we wouldn’t want anyone to know that you’re really a boy."

"I’ll study real hard Aunt Patty," I swore. "I’ll wear pretty dresses and I’ll act just like a girl."

Aunt Patty smiled, reached into the bag she had brought with her and pulled out several baby dolls.

"What do I do with these?" I asked puzzled.

"You pretend to be their mommy," My aunt said as though I should have known. "You hug them, sleep with them, and even have tea parties with them. They’re the best part of being a girl."

I shrugged my shoulders and took the dolls from my aunt. I had promised to be a good girl and I didn’t want to upset Aunt Patty so I held the dolls tight just like I had seen little girls do. I don’t know why but I felt good about holding and hugging my new dolls, maybe this girl stuff wouldn’t be that bad. Mommy had to leave for work so I gave her a big hug and kiss then hurried over to start learning how to be a girl.

For the next couple of weeks my aunt taught me everything there was to know about being a girl. I learned how to sit and stand like a girl, how to throw a ball like a girl, and especially how to dress and act like a girl. One day though I was feeling really sad and when Aunt Patty asked what was wrong I blurted out. "I don’t want to be a girl, Aunt Patty. I want to stay as a boy."

"You can’t do that Jamie," She said softly as she pulled me close. "The judge said that if you didn’t become a girl he’d send you to jail."

"Then I’ll go to jail." I insisted. "This is silly, I’m wearing dresses and girl’s underwear and even playing with dolls."

"You’re a little short and frankly you’re sort of cute Jamie." Aunt Patty told me. "Do you know what the bigger, older boys would do to you at the detention center? You’d end up being one of their girlfriends. How would you like to be the steady girlfriend of some guy who can’t wait to get to your pretty little butt? You could be his personal baby doll, I’m sure he’d enjoy playing with you."

I felt sick to my stomach thinking about what my aunt had said. How could I have been so stupid? If the guys at school picked on me, what would they do to me at the detention center? I could imagine a few unspeakable things that they’d want me to do to them and that was enough for me.

I straightened out my skirt and apologized to my aunt. "I’ll be a good girl, Aunt Patty. I promise."

"I’m sure you will Jamie," She told me as she kissed my cheek. "You’ll be a pretty one too."

At that moment nothing in the world meant more to me than my aunt telling me that she thought I’d be a pretty girl. I became determined to do anything I had to do to stay out of the detention center. I wasn’t about to become any one’s girlfriend, that’s for sure!

Aunt Patty taught me how to play jacks, jump rope, hold tea parties with my baby dolls, and the joys of Barbie. We used to sit and play jacks with our skirts spread out around us or go into my yard where no one could see us and jump rope or play with the baby dolls she had given me. If it was a rainy day we’d spend it inside playing dress up with my Barbie’s or sometimes playing with a toy makeup kit mommy had given me.

Aunt Patty would sometimes take me on shopping trips to the mall, just to get out of the house. One day I got really scared when I saw a boy I knew from school walking straight towards us. I had been out of school for almost two months and had completely forgotten that it was a scheduled day off for my old school.

"Aunt Patty," I whispered fearfully. "I know that boy, he’ll recognize me in a second."

"No Jamie," My aunt told me as she squeezed the hand that she was holding. "Trust me, okay?"

I couldn’t do anything else since by then the kid was right in front of me. I wanted to turn and run but he looked right at me and then past me as if I wasn’t there. He passed us without a second look and I finally started to breathe again.

"What did I tell you?" Aunt Patty asked. "Do you think that he recognized you?"

"He looked right at me, but I’m not even sure he saw me." I said, barely able to conceal my wonder.

"He saw a nine year old girl out shopping with her mother." My aunt explained. "He didn’t know me so there was no reason for him to look at you. You’re very cute, but you’re way too young to interest a teenage boy." She laughed.

"I still don’t believe it." I said in shock. "We went to school together for eight years, we were in the same classes, but he didn’t know who I am."

"Face it Jamie, you don’t look anything like you did. Would he expect to see a boy he once knew all dressed up like a little girl in a cute top, pleated skirt, knee socks, and saddle shoes walking though the mall, his hair curled with a ribbon in it?"

I reached down and ran a hand over my skirt. I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad, all I knew for sure was that as far as anyone was concerned, I was a little girl. Something inside of me though found the experience thrilling and I asked Aunt Patty if we could try to fool some other kids.

"Don’t try too hard Jamie," She advised. "You don’t want to give them a reason to take a good look at you. Let them decided for themselves that you’re just a little girl, it’s safer that way."

I was a good girl and behaved myself for Aunt Patty but I did have one run in with a girl from my old class while I was trying on a dress. I had unzipped it just a little too much and was having a hard time reaching the back zipper to pull it up when the girl saw me and offered to help. "That’s a cute dress," She said with a smile. "And you look very nice in it, I hope your mom buys it for you."

"Me too," I said in my best little girl voice. She smiled again and walked away never realizing that we once went to a dance together.

When we got home I was so worked up that I just had to rush over and tell my baby dolls all about my adventure. I have to admit that after weeks of playing with them I was getting very attached to my baby dolls, all of which I had named. I took them to bed with me and talked to them about being a girl before I went to sleep at night. They were always very polite and good listeners.

One day my aunt said she had another surprise for me. I thought it might be another baby doll which would have been okay since my old ones kept asking to meet new friends. Instead she went to her car and brought in this dress that made my heart pound.

It was very soft and looked just like a light pink velvet material. I didn’t even try to resist the urge to try it on, I just wanted that dress so badly.

"Wait a minute here," My aunt laughed. "Aren’t you the boy who hates dresses?"

"Not me, Aunt Patty, I’m a girl." I laughed, pretending to be insulted. "I love pretty clothes, especially pretty dresses like that one."

"My mistake," My aunt laughed. "Someone told me that a boy lived here."

I shook my head. "I’ve never met him, now may I try that dress on please?"

"You’ll need these too," My aunt reached into a bag and pulled out a package containing my fist pair of stockings and a pair of shoes with a low heel. "I wanted to give my favorite niece her first pair of heels."

"I love you Aunt Patty," I kissed her and rushed off to my room to change. I was so excited, my fist pair of heels! I was going to dress up just like a big girl in a pretty dress, stockings, and heels.

Rushing to my room I quickly pulled off my sleeveless top, stepped out of my denim skirt, and kicked off my sandals. I found a pretty full slip with a little lace trim and a pretty pink rose at the front and slid it over my head. In just a few weeks, with Aunt Patty and mommy’s help, I not only learned to put up with wearing girl’s underwear, I actually came to enjoy it. The feel of my pretty slip as it slid over my bare chest and rubbed against my legs was so nice, much nicer feeling than anything boy’s clothes I wore. Now, as I sat on my bed and carefully pulled on 1y first pair of stockings, I could hardly calm down. Mommy and Aunt Patty trusted me enough as a big girl to buy me special things like these pantyhose. They promised me that I’d love the way they felt on my legs and probably wouldn’t want to take them off again.

I carefully pulled and tugged until I had the pantyhose all the way up to my waist, just like the package directions said, and boy were mommy and Aunt Patty right! I couldn’t believe how silky my legs felt and when I looked in the mirror my legs looked so pretty.

I carefully pulled on my dress then tugged it so that my slip wouldn’t show under it. Mommy said that a girl should never let her slip show because it makes her look sloppy so I’m always careful to check my slip after I put on a dress or skirt.

The dress was just so soft I couldn’t believe it. It was lined on the inside too so it felt like I had on an extra slip because it was so slippery. I carefully put on my new shoes and stood up, not sure if I could walk in them because they had a heel and none of my other shoes did. Lucky for me they really weren’t too much different than my other shoes to walk in. Looking in the mirror though, they were so different than my other shoes, so grown up looking, not something for little girl, but shoes a big girl would wear and I was the big girl wearing them. I brushed my hair, carefully put in a pair of pink earrings mommy had bought me, put a ribbon and barrettes in my hair to match my dress then hurried to show off for my aunt.

"How do I look Aunt Patty?" I called out excitedly as I twirled around and around making myself dizzy. This is the prettiest, softest, dress I’ve ever worn. It’s my favorite from now on."

"Come on Jamie," Aunt Patty took my hand and led me to the table. "I’m not done with you yet. She told me as she painted my nails to match my dress. "Don’t touch anything with them for about ten minutes," She advised. "They need to dry."

I nodded happily, unable to talk because I was about to burst from joy. My nails looked so pretty and the shade was a perfect match for my dress. Aunt Patty had obviously planned everything out, no wonder I loved her so much.

I sat quietly watching TV and talking to my dolls while waiting for my nails to dry. I wished that I understood why I felt so happy wearing a dress and girls underwear, but I couldn’t figure it out. I should be out riding my bike, climbing a tree or scaling a wall, but I was just so happy to be all dressed up and looking so pretty that I couldn’t imagine doing those things. Why climb a silly tree and risk falling down when I could have so much more fun having a tea party with my dolls? Mommy had promised that once we got to Arizona she’d buy me a new bike, a pink one that said "Barbie" in real big letters so I didn’t mind waiting.

"I talked to your mommy Jamie, she can’t wait to see how pretty you look in your new dress." Aunt Patty smiled. "She wants the three of us girls to go out to dinner tonight, okay?"

"That’s so nice, Aunt Patty," I started to cry. I was so worked up and confused. I wanted to show off my new clothes to everybody. I wanted them to stop mommy and Aunt Patty and tell them that I was the prettiest little girl they’d ever seen. I was a teenage boy who wanted to be the world’s prettiest little girl and I couldn’t help myself, it was exciting to see people I knew and not have them recognize me. Sort of like being invisible, I guess.

I’d have bet the girls at school would have flipped if they knew who the little girl watching them adjust their pantyhose and bras in the ladies room really was. Too bad I couldn’t tell anyone.

Mom was acting a whole lot different towards me. We didn’t argue back and forth much anymore, unless it was over what I was going to wear. Sometimes she wanted to make me wear such babyish outfits when I wanted to wear what other girls my age wore. Other than that we were getting to be so close, I helped zip up her dresses or do the clasp on her necklaces and she’d help me with my outfits.

The best parts of it all though were the times when we’d just sit and talk. Sometimes she’d let me lay on her lap while she brushed my hair and other times we’d put each other’s hair up in curlers, especially if we were planning on going shopping or seeing a movie the next night since we both wanted to look pretty.

By the time Aunt Patty left she had completed her job – I no longer had a problem thinking of myself as Jamie Lynn, a nine year old girl. We had spent weeks playing house, jump rope, jacks, Barbie’s, and any other game a girl my age would play. We had gone shopping, to movies, and dinner with mom, and no one had ever thought I was anything but a little girl.

Aunt Patty did come to visit me one last time before we moved. The day I had the operation to make me look like a real girl, Aunt Patty came with mommy and me and held my hand until I fell asleep. Afterwards I woke up to see her smiling and holding my hand again. "I brought you a little going away present," She smiled and handed me a pretty pink bag with tissue in it. I dug through the tissue and started to cry when I saw the blue and yellow, two piece bathing suit she had bought for me.

"You’ll drive the little boys crazy when they see you in this sweetheart," She promised. "And when you get a little older, I’ll get you a sexy white one that will drive the big boys crazy!"

"Thank you, Aunt Patty," I wept happily. "It’s so pretty, I can’t wait to wear it!"

"We’re going to have to get you some new panties honey," Mommy told me. "Your old ones will be a little baggy on you now. I hope you understand."

"It’s okay mommy," I smiled cheerfully to make her relax. "I saw some pretty bikini panties when Aunt Patty and I were shopping. Could I get some like them please?"

Mommy’s face instantly relaxed. I guess she was worried that I’d be upset or something. She leaned over and held me so tight I could hardly breathe. "We’ll buy you the prettiest ones we can find Jamie, nothing’s too good for my little girl."

My bedroom at our new house would have made me furious just a few months back but when I saw it I had this irresistible urge to run in and explore every corner. I thought that the pretty pink walls and white curtains looked so cute and my new bed was a canopy style with ruffles that cried out for a little girl to bounce on it. Mommy told me that I’d have to be very careful not to mess up my white rug, she bought it since it looked so nice with the pink walls. I promised to be a very good girl and make sure all of my babies did the same. I didn’t want anything to mess up my pretty new bedroom.

It was so easy to make friends as Jamie and soon I had made lots of new friends, we spent every day together playing with our dolls or going to the pool. Mommy was so happy that I had friends, I never had any before, I guess no one wanted to bother with me then. Now though, my friends and I had so much in common; we all liked Barbie’s, we all liked to look at and giggle about the cute guys at he pool, and we all liked to dress up in pretty clothes.

One day we were all at Nikki’s house playing Barbie’s when she suggested we play dress up. I was sort of afraid to say anything because I didn’t want them t think that I was a sissy. While I was sitting quietly worrying though another girl, Mandy, spoke right up.

"I’ve got this pretty dress my mother likes me to wear, it’s green and has a real fancy kind of skirt and puffy sleeves. It’s so dreamy, I feel like a princess when I wear it!"

"I have this to die for dress that is so cute!" A girl named Cindy added. "It’s dark red velvet that feels as soft and cozy as my favorite nightgown."

I got caught up in the enthusiasm. "I have a dress like that too Mandy," I added enthusiastically. "Do you have petticoats to wear with yours?"

"No, but I still feel so special when I have it on," Mandy sighed. "It’s my mother’s favorite dress, and mine too!"

"Do you think your mom’s will let you bring them over to play in?" Nikki asked. "We could try on each other’s dresses and put on a fashion show!"

"I’ll ask!" I quickly volunteered. "I’m sure mommy won’t mind if I promise to be careful. And I could bring over my makeup kit too!"

We were thrilled with the idea of trying on each other’s dresses and playing with my makeup kit so we quickly dashed off to gather our things. I got both of my party dresses along with a pair of Harem Girl PJ’s, my makeup kit, and of course several petticoats and pairs of ruffled panties.

Mandy got her dress and a manicure kit, Nikki brought a couple of her mom’s prom and bridesmaid gowns, Cindy brought her dress and some of her mom’s old shoes, and we laughed and giggled and modeled for each other and Nikki’s mom who took pictures so the rest of us could show our mothers.

Everyone loved my dress and especially my petticoats. Mandy borrowed one to wear at home so that she could show her mother how pretty it was. I just have to have a petticoat like this," She sighed as she twirled in front of the mirror. "Every princess should have something this beautiful!"

"Let me put makeup on you Mandy," I pleaded. "I’ll bet you’d look hot with lipstick!"

Mandy was a brave girl; sitting very still while I carefully put lipstick and eye shadow on her and Cindy did her nails. We did a pretty good job for a couple of silly little girls and even Nikki’s mom said Mandy looked cute.

"Your turn Jamie!" Nikki laughed as she forced me into the chair. It was so much fun having her and Mandy put makeup on me that I made Cindy do my toenails too. "I want to have pretty toes in case a handsome prince brings a glass slipper for me to try on." I pouted.

"If she gets hers done, I want mine done too!" Mandy insisted. "After all, I’m the princess!"

By the end of the day we had all tried on every piece of clothing and had our makeup done, our fingernails and toenails polished, and our hair curled. We must have been quite a sight because it was all Nikki’s mom could do to keep from laughing as she took our pictures. That was the first of many wonderfully fun fashion shows my girlfriends and I put on for each other and our mothers. Each one was more fun than the last; we would double dare each other to put on one of our mother’s dresses with high heels and walk around the block. When the poor girl who got dared came back we all collapsed into a giggling, laughing heap. I couldn’t imagine having that much fun as a boy.

That afternoon when I went home for dinner I rushed over to mommy and threw my arms around her neck. "You’re the nicest, most sweetest, lovable, mommy in the whole wide world!" I said as I showered her with kisses.

"What did I do to deserve this?" She asked, pleasantly surprised by the sudden outpouring of love.

"It’s so much fun being a girl mommy!" I gushed. "I have so many nice friends, and we have all kinds of fun playing games that I never could have done before and I love all of my pretty dresses and underwear and…"

"And I love you Jamie," Mommy said as she began to shower me with kisses. "I was so afraid of losing you but I really felt so bad about doing this to you."

"But I like being a girl mommy. I think it’s so much better to be a girl than a silly boy. Boys can’t have nearly the fun I have with my girlfriends; they have to wear pants all the time, and they can’t wear pretty underwear like I can, or play dress up, or even have a tea party with their favorite baby dolls!"

Mommy dried her tears and pulled me onto her lap. "You make me feel so happy Jamie, I’ll never forget the fun I had with my pretty girl."

"I don’t want to be a boy again mommy," I announced firmly. "I want to be a girl forever and grow up to be a pretty lady, just like you."

"Take your time and have fun Jamie," Mommy told me. "Someday you may decide that you’d rather be a boy again. I won’t mind, I promise. I’ll always have times like this to make me happy."

"I don’t care how long I wait," I pouted. "I don’t ever want to be a boy again, never, ever, ever!"

"When you graduate from high school we’ll see how you feel." Mommy insisted. "If you still want to be a girl, I’ll understand. If you want to be a boy, I’ll still love you with all of my heart."

Needless to say I refused to change my mind. I wanted to be a girl and I was determined that nothing would change my mind. I’d be the best daughter any mommy could hope for and my mommy would be so happy she’d forget all about making me be a stupid boy again.

I started fourth grade that fall thinking it would be easy. I’d already done it once right, the second time will be a snap. I was amazed though to discover that everything I was being taught seemed new to me! I sat up straight like a good girl and paid very close attention, especially when we had arithmetic. Adding fractions? How did you do that? They didn’t look the same, what was the teacher saying about making them equal somehow?

The same thing happened with my Geography lessons, other kids could identify states on the map but I found it really hard to even find Arizona! I remember having Arithmetic and Geography before but it seemed so long ago and I honestly couldn’t remember much about what I learned.

That afternoon when mommy came home I asked if she had done something to make me forget the things I had learned before.

"Not a thing Jamie," She promised. "You were a terrible student but your teachers just kept passing you along. No one wanted to have you in their class any longer than necessary. I asked them to hold you back but they wouldn’t. Everything seems so new to you because it really is; you never paid attention the first time.

"I’m sorry mommy, I’ll do lots better this time and you’ll be so proud of me!" Of course she’d be proud of me as a girl, not a boy.

I did just like I promised mommy I would and studied real hard. Soon, all of my studying and homework got me a report card with all A’s on it. Mommy was so thrilled with me that she took me shopping to buy some new clothes. I picked out some really cute outfits that I thought I looked nice in; a couple of tops with Winnie the Pooh characters on them, some more running shorts which felt so silky, and a yellow and white sundress with pretty flowers on it. I needed the sundress to make me feel better; I was tired of wearing the same old green skirt or jumper and white cotton blouse to school every single day. I just had to have something pretty to wear!

I kept studying and working hard in school and made the honor roll for every report card during the rest of elementary school and even junior high. My friends all teased me about being a brain but they all came to me for help with their homework. I taught them all of my tricks for studying and taking tests and by seventh grade we were always trying to see who could get the best grade on a test.

Even better that being the smartest girl in my school were the looks I started to get from boys in my class. I’d catch them looking at me and smiling, and there were a couple of boys who made me feel all funny inside when they did that. I was starting to grow up, I had just recently given up my soft, cozy, tee shirts for training bras and it was still a little strange to see those bumps on my chest and know what they’d become. My girlfriends and I used to joke around and stuff our bras to see who could have the biggest boobs but even without padding I was the best developed of any girl in my class, a fact the boys took notice of.

Most of the boys in my class were jerks, there were a couple of boys at the high school that I thought were dreamy but they didn’t want anything to do with a junior high school girl. Of course my only being twelve years old didn’t seem to stop them from checking out my chest and butt or staring at my legs when I wore a dress. They’d look and smile but since they were too old for the junior high dances and I was too young for the high school dances all I could do was dream about them at night and concentrate on the boys in my class who weren’t totally goofy or immature.

My friends and I loved the junior high dances, they gave us chances to wear pretty outfits and strut our stuff in front of the guys. I wore my first real pair of heels to one of those dances and between them and my suede miniskirt I had more offers to dance than I could count. It was fun during the fast dances to dance across from a cute guy and put a little extra into my chest and butt movements, they always smiled and moved closer but for some reason after the song they’d rush into the boy’s bathroom.

The slow songs were special though; there were only certain boys that I’d dance slowly with since they had to hold me. I didn’t want any of the nerdy jerks in my class running their hands all over me while we danced so I stayed away from them and reserved all of the slow dances for the really cute guys who made me feel so happy and pretty!

Sometimes I’d feel sort of goofy after dancing with boys. I told mommy about it and she and I sat down for a long talk.

"Do you feel that way with any boy?" Mommy asked while we drank cups of Hot Chocolate.

"No, just with the ones I think are really cute and dreamy looking," I responded with a deep sigh, thinking of some of the cute boys I danced with. They gave me the funniest feelings inside of my bra and panties. "But then again, I only slow dance with cute and dreamy looking boys. There aren’t that many of them but they are awfully cute."

"Can you tell me what it feels like? Does your heart pound, do you feel upset or sick?"

"No," I blushed so badly I thought I’d turn into a traffic light. "I don’t feel upset or sick, my heart does pound but I don’t mind."

"I’ll bet that you have some strange feelings in your breasts, don’t you?"

I nodded, feeling as though mommy could read my mind. "Uh huh, they feel really weird."

"Sort of like the way you feel in your panties?"

I stared speechless. "How do you know that? Did I talk in my sleep?"

Mommy smiled at me. "You’re growing up honey, you’re not a little girl anymore. You’re beginning to become attracted to boys just like any other girl your age. Those funny feelings in your breasts and your crotch are perfectly normal for a girl to have when she’s around a cute boy. As you get older they’ll get stronger; it’s natures way of keeping the species going. Boys have similar feelings, just a lot more concentrated in one area."

"Mommy!" I laughed while turning a deep crimson. I couldn’t believe she was talking like that.

We had a long girl talk about boys that night. Mommy told me all about what it was like for her growing up and how she felt when she danced with or went out with cute boys. She even taught me how to flirt with them in a way that would be okay for a girl my age. I learned so many things that night that I never thought about before but would remember for the rest of my life. Mommy told me that since I was becoming a young lady I could wear lip-gloss and a little eye shadow to the dances.

"Let’s see how the boys react to that!" She laughed. I gave her the biggest hug and kiss I could manage. I couldn’t wait to show off to my girlfriends but especially to the boys.

Mommy’s advice and my new makeup thrilled my girlfriends and got me a lot of requests to go skating with some of the cutest guys in my class. Mommy said that I was too young to date but if my girlfriends and I wanted to go skating and just happened to run into some cute boys, she wouldn’t mind my skating with them. Of course you can guess where my girlfriends and I spent our Saturdays from then on! So far everything was going the way I had planned. Mommy seemed to have forgotten that I was a boy and was treating me just like my girlfriends were treated.

I was having the time of my life. I was popular, considered to be the smartest girl in my school, and mommy and I were never closer. It sometimes bothered me that I should have been graduating from High School and hitting on pretty girls but ever since mommy started giving me pills to boost the female hormones in my body I had fewer and fewer feelings like that. I was a pretty girl, enjoying a life I never imagined existed with friends who really cared about me, why worry about what it would have been like to stay as a boy? If I wanted to know anything about boys all I had to do was ask any of the boys I skated with or danced with, I was sure they’d be happy to tell me. The boys I knew were all worried about silly things like baseball, football, and cars. They often fought with each other or did silly things to get the attention of my friends and I. They couldn’t wear the pretty bras and panties I wore and they had no idea how nice it felt to wear stockings and heels. They could keep their silly sports and cars and fighting, I wanted to be pretty and wear silky underwear like big girls wore!

As I grew up and started high school I wondered if I’d ever notice any changes in my body. Funny, but the last time I was ready to start high school I didn’t look that much different. I had long blonde hair, weighed almost the same and I didn’t have any hair on my face then either. Sometimes I’d look in the mirror and wonder if I was a girl or a boy, I thought that my breasts were still too small, my shape wasn’t going to get me any calls to model for Sports Illustrated, and I didn’t have that much of a butt. I wasn’t that much different from my girlfriends but I didn’t like it. If I didn’t change soon mommy might just decide to make me go back to being a boy and I didn’t want to give up my pretty outfits or my great friends. It made me feel very sad to think of having to wear pants and a shirt to a dance instead of a pretty dress or a cute miniskirt. I didn’t want to act like the silly boys I knew, I was too happy being a girl and I wanted to make sure mommy knew how I felt. .

Things had been changing all along of course, my breasts had started to develop and I looked different in a dress than I did when I was in junior high. I went from a size thirty-two triple A bra when I was twelve to a size thirty-two A bra as a freshman in high school. It may not seem like much to increase two cup sizes but at fourteen everything mattered. I begged and pleaded with mommy to let me wear padded bras but she always smiled and told me to wait, that I’d be wearing a bigger bra soon enough and there was no need to rush anything. A few months later I was thrilled when mommy said that I seemed to be outgrowing my old bras. She measured me and I almost cried for joy when she told me that I was now a size thirty three A. Since they didn’t make bras in odd sizes I got to buy new bras in a size thirty four double A. I didn’t care if my new bras were a smaller cup size; all that mattered was that I was wearing a size thirty-four bra. I wasn’t a little girl anymore!

By the time I was sixteen I was a full B cup with a cute shape. Boys had been falling all over themselves to date me now that mommy said I was old enough. I heard lots of movies, I didn’t see many since my dates and I were too busy necking, and rarely had to walk anywhere since some cute boy would show up with a car. I didn’t own a single pair of cotton panties; all of mine were silky bikini styles that matched my bras. I had a closet full of gorgeous dresses and drawers overflowing with the tight jeans that looked so good with a pair of heels.

All of my dating didn’t stop me from keeping my promise to mommy to be a good girl though. I never dated if I had a test coming up and always had my homework finished before I spent the rest of the evening gabbing to my girlfriends on the phone. When I went on dates I had a wonderful time but I made it clear to the boy that he wouldn’t get a second date if he tried anything that I didn’t like. I wasn’t going to get a reputation that would upset mommy, I was determined that she would always be proud of me and wouldn’t have any reason to make me be a boy again.

I met Kenny at he end of my senior year. My girlfriends and I were at the usual Saturday night dance flirting with cute boys when I saw him. Tall, blonde hair, broad shoulders, his smile seemed to be calling to me.

"Who’s he?" I whispered to Mandy, trying not to be too obvious in staring at the hunk across the room.

"Kenny Hodges," Mandy giggled. "He just transferred here a couple of weeks ago. Rumor is that he’s unattached. Can you believe a guy could be that dreamy and still not be taken?"

"Look at that doll," I sighed. "He’s got everything I want in a boy."

"I wonder what it would be like to be held in those arms?" Nikki asked. "Just my luck to have a boyfriend."

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He was standing there alone with no one to talk to. "He looks awfully lonely," I said more to myself than anything. "He probably doesn’t have any friends here yet."

"Certainly no girlfriends," Mandy added thoughtfully. "I’ll bet that the right girl could take that sad look right out of his big blue eyes."

"You can tell that he’s got blue eyes from here?" I asked in amazement. "How could you get past that sexy looking body to bother with his eyes?"

Mandy broke into a fit of laughter. "He’s not that sexy, he’s very sweet, but not that sexy."

"Not that sexy?" I was stunned. Nikki didn’t seem blind, how could she miss that gorgeous hunk of a guy? "Are you…."

I wanted to ask if she had lost all of her marbles but suddenly I noticed Kenny staring at me. "He’s looking at me," I whispered frantically. "Oh my god, he’s looking at me!"

Before I could say anything else he started to walk towards me. My dream guy had noticed me and was headed my way. "Now he’s coming over here," I whispered, trying not to seem too anxious but afraid another girl might grab him before he got to me.

"He wants to meet you," Nikki giggled from behind me. "He’s been asking about you for the last couple of weeks."

My dream guy was headed my way because he wanted to meet me? He’d been asking about me? I was all confused. "You know him?" I asked not bothering to turn around so I didn’t lose track of him in the crowd of kids. "And you’re willing to give him to me?"

"He’s my future stepbrother," She laughed. "Mandy’s got a boyfriend and I can’t do anything with him so he’s all yours."

"I’ll take really good care of him, I promise!" I giggled as he got close. "And you can wear any of my outfits, any time."

Nikki did the introduction but I didn’t hear anything she said after Kenny said hello. He had away of pronouncing Jamie as though talking about a piece of art. When he asked me to dance, the strong, intelligent, young woman in me went to lunch leaving a helpless little girl behind. I somehow managed to smile and nod my head before I let him take my hand for a slow dance. I suddenly felt so safe and secure, just like when I used to hold mommy’s hand when we went to the mall.

When Kenny put his arm around me I wanted to melt right into him. He made me feel different than any boy I had ever danced with before; my breasts tingled whenever I pressed against his chest and for some strange reason I wanted to rip my panties off and let him do anything he wanted to me! I just knew I could never let him go, I didn’t feel like a girl around Kenny, I felt like a grown woman.

"I’ve heard so much about you Jamie," Kenny told me as we danced. "I saw you with Nikki one day and I just had to find out all about you. My sister said you were the smartest girl in the whole school. I already knew you had to be the prettiest so I pestered her until she spilled her guts." Kenny went on to tell me that we shared many common interests, we were both interested in science fiction, we both loved to sit and look at the stars and night sky, he had a grade point average as high as mine, and we both loved to dance.

I was completely tongue-tied! This guy was so interested in me that he took the time to find out everything he could about me, no boy had ever done anything like that before.

"Nikki forgot to tell me that you can’t talk," I looked up at the most beautiful blue eyes that seemed to light up as he smiled.

"I’m sorry Kenny," I said when I finally remembered how to speak. "I’m just so flattered, no one’s ever been that interested in me before."

Kenny pulled me close and I started to get those feelings in my breasts again. Those eyes lit up again as his voice played the most melodious tones I’d ever heard. "That’s a shame Jamie, any guy who wouldn’t be interested a girl who’s got looks and brains should be taken out and horse whipped."

I felt silly listening to him talk that way but I didn’t want him to stop. "That’s pretty harsh, don’t you think Kenny?" His name seemed to roll off my tongue.

"For mistreating a pretty girl like you? Not harsh enough!" He laughed.

"I don’t really think you can consider that mistreating me," I replied coyly. "Just because a boy doesn’t take the time to find out what I like."

"If he can’t take the time for you, who would he take the time for?" Kenny’s soft voice made me want to cuddle up even closer. I laid my head on his chest and smiled up at him.

"You’re sweet, has any girl ever told you that?"

"Never, in my old school they seemed to prefer the Neanderthal type, you know, the knuckle draggers from the football team." His face had a very sad look that made me feel sorry for him. How could a girl not be interested in this sweet boy?

I shook my head in disagreement. "I’ve dated a football played or two, they weren’t that bad."

Kenny thought for a bit. "No," He said. "I guess they’re not all that bad. I’m just tired of girls who say that they want a sensitive boy yet only date knuckle draggers."

"I’d be happy to take a sensitive boy Kenny," I told him in the sweetest, most sincere voice I could manage. "Of course he’d have to be really sensitive, not just pretending so that I’d go out with him."

"I can prove that I’d be that kind of boy Jamie," Kenny assured me as he held me tight. "Would you give me a chance?"

I couldn’t resist his voice and looks any longer. I tipped my head back, stood on tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I think you’ll pass with flying colors Kenny," I whispered softly. As the song ended, he smiled, leaned down and met my lips with a kiss that sent bolts of electricity through my body.

"Wow!" We exclaimed in unison as we parted lips. "That was great!"

It dawned on us what had happened causing us to break into a fit of laughter.

We walked off the floor with our arms around each other’s waists. "Looks like you two hit it off," Nikki laughed as she ran towards us. "Take good care of my brother Jamie," She smiled and turned to Kenny. "Hurt my friend and I’ll cut you into little pieces and feed you to my dog!"

I pulled Kenny back without thinking. "He’d never hurt me Nikki," I smiled. "I can tell."

Nikki smiled at me then at Kenny. "I was joking Jamie," She laughed. "My new brother here is probably the sweetest boy in the world and I can’t imagine any girl that he’d take better care of than you."

Kenny and I spent the rest of the evening dancing and getting to know each other better. Actually, I had to get to know him. He’d already pumped Nikki for everything she knew about me from our days playing Barbie’s to how I did on my last report card. Kenny’s dad was about to marry Nikki’s mom and they’d be living right here with Nikki, which meant that Kenny and I could see each other as often as we liked. One more reason to spend time at my best friend’ house!

Kenny had a way of holding me while we danced that set me on fire. He was a perfect gentleman but the feel of my hand in his and his arm tightly around my waist as we danced made me unbelievably horny! Several times he’d smile at me then lean over for a quick kiss which made me nearly wet my panties in delight. Finally, fearing that he’d never get around to asking I popped the question. "A lot of the kids like to spend time talking on the bleachers." I told him with a promising smile. Smart boy that he was I didn’t have to go into any more detail. He squeezed my hand and let me lead him out to the bleachers.

"I can’t believe you know everything about me," I giggled like a silly little girl as I stared into his eyes. "I’m really amazed that you’d go through all that trouble to get to know me."

"You’re worth it Jamie," Kenny whispered as he drew me close. I couldn’t look away from those gorgeous blue eyes of his, and didn’t resist as he lifted my chin and kissed me. As our lips touched I shook involuntarily.

"Are you cold?" He asked, worried that my sleeveless dress might not be keeping me warm enough. "We can go back inside if you’d like."

"That’s okay," I giggled. "I’d rather stay here with you. Will you keep me warm if I do get cold?"

Kenny smiled then drew me in for a kiss that set me on fire! I felt his tongue probing my lips so I parted them to allow us to get better acquainted. I lost all track of time, it seemed like the kiss was never ending which was just the way I wanted it. Snuggled safely into Kenny’s strong embrace, I was safe, secure, and rapidly falling in love.

After an hour of letting our tongues get to know each other we reluctantly headed back to the dance. Kenny kissed me again and led me like a little girl back out to dance. He held me tight and told me that I was pretty and that he couldn’t wait to see me again. With my heart pounding and my breasts tingling I told Kenny that I’d give him my phone number.

"I already have that," He laughed. "Got it from Nikki a couple of weeks ago."

"You’ve had my phone number for weeks and never called." I did my best to act hurt but Kenny just laughed and gave me another kiss.

"I was afraid you wouldn’t go out with me." He sheepishly admitted. "You’re so pretty, I figured you must have had a boyfriend."

This guy was a definite keeper; shy, sweet, oh so lovable, and his kisses peeled the polish off my toenails. I took his hand and squeezed it as tightly as I could. "I do now." I smiled.

Kenny was thrilled, he grabbed me, pulled me onto his lap and gave me a kiss that was better than any he’d given me before. "I can’t believe how lucky I am, I have the smartest and prettiest girl in the whole school as my girlfriend!"

I couldn’t believe that Kenny though that he was lucky. I was sitting on the lap of the cutest guy I’d ever met, he was everything a girl could ever ask for in a boy and he was mine. No girl could be luckier than that.

Kenny walked me home and gave me another one of his toe curling kisses before leaving. I made him promise to call me the next day so that we could go out somewhere. I couldn’t wait to show off my boyfriend to every girl I knew!

I was floating as I walked into the house. Mommy of course was waiting for me and it must have been obvious that something had happened.

"Looks like someone’s had a good time." She teased as I straightened out my arm causing my purse to fall to the table.

"I’m in love mommy!" I gushed with joy. "I’m totally, completely, positively, absolutely, in love with the most wonderful boy in the whole world."

Mommy guided me into the kitchen and prepared some hot chocolate. "Who is this wonderful boy, if I might be so bold as to ask?"

"He’s not just a wonderful boy mommy," I quickly corrected her lest she misunderstand about her future son in law. "He is the most wonderfulest boy in the world and he’s all mine!"

"And does this boy have a name?"

"Kenny," I did my best to make it sound as wonderful as he made my name sound but I know I feel far short. "Isn’t it the perfect name for the sweetest boy on earth?"

Mom server our hot chocolate and patiently listened to me rave about Kenny. I couldn’t say enough nice things about him; he was everything I always dreamed about in a boy and much, much more.

"He’s the one mommy," I told her with absolute conviction. "I’m going to marry him and make him the happiest guy in the world."

"If you’re his girlfriend I’m sure he’s already that happy Jamie." Mommy told me. "But how did this all happen?"

I poured out the whole story of Nikki’s setting me up with her stepbrother and how he had gotten Nikki to tell him all about me, and how nice it felt when we danced together. I made sure that mommy knew he was a nice boy, not the kind of boy ho might be mean to me or do anything bad to me. My Kenny would never be like that.

"Is he a good kisser?" She asked bluntly. "He looked like it from his goodbye kiss."

"You were watching?" I was horrified. I didn’t want mommy to think that I was the kind of girl that would do anything wrong with a boy.

"I didn’t plan on it," She laughed. "But it was getting late so I looked out the window and I saw you walking with a boy. I was about to close the curtains when I saw him pull you close and kiss you. That must have shaken you up."

"I’m not a little girl anymore mommy," I explained huffily. "I’ve been kissed before you know."

"Not like that you haven’t," Mommy immediately set me straight. "That wasn’t the kind of kiss a boy gives a girl for dancing with him. That boy is serious about you."

"I know mommy, isn’t it wonderful?" I closed my eyes and saw my Kenny’s face in front of me. Those blue eyes, his strong looking chin, and those lips that gave me such a thrill.

Mommy stared at me with a funny expression on her face. "Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into Jamie?" She asked. "I mean it sounds as though you’re getting very serious in a hurry. Maybe too serious, too quickly."

I couldn’t understand what mom was worried about, I mean I’d dated a lot of guys before so it wasn’t as though Kenny was my first crush or anything like that. Couldn’t she understand that I was in love?

"You have to trust me mommy," I begged her to understand how important Kenny was to me. "I’m not a little girl anymore."

"You’re not any kind of a girl Jamie, that’s what worries me." Mommy’s words hit me like a cold, wet, towel in the face dashing my dreams of a life with Kenny. I had forgotten about being a boy myself, a boy several years older than the one I had fallen in love with. All of the wonderful feelings I had experienced and all of my hard work trying to convince mommy that I really was a girl were floating down the drain and I was powerless to stop them. She was going to make me be a boy again, I just knew it.

"You’re going to have to be very careful honey," Mommy’s words began to drift into my sorrow filled world. "You can’t afford to get too carried away with this young man and have him find out about the real you. I expect you to remember to act like a lady at all times, even though I’m sure you’d love to let him take you and have his way with you."

I shook my head, could I actually be hearing what I thought I was hearing?
I looked up to mommy smiling. "I was a young girl once too Jamie. I understand what years of female hormones have done to you. All I ask is that you be careful, you’ve come too far to lose everything now."

"But what about…" I looked down at my lap. I didn’t want to have to acknowledge that I was really a boy.

"You’ve waited this long, I don’t think a little while longer will hurt. I think you need to take a little time to experience your first love as a young woman. If things work out then I don’t see any reason for Jimmy to return, do you?"

I jumped out of my chair and rushed to mommy. "I don’t think he’ll ever come back," I said through my tears. "I’ll find a way to make it work but I know that I’m going to marry Kenny someday, I just know it."

Kenny stopped by the next afternoon to meet mommy. Thinking of how sexy I would feel I slipped on a pair of my favorite panties, nothing but sheer black lace, and a matching bra. I wore a pair of the tightest jeans I owned, a white crocheted top, and a pair of heels. I spent extra time on my hair and makeup, I wanted my future husband to appreciate how pretty his future wife really was! When I was finished I stood admiring myself in the mirror. My makeup was perfect, my hair was perfect, my jeans were tight enough to show off a very shapely butt and my heels would pull his attention all the way from my feet to that shapely butt. I was proud of the way I had developed over the years, no boy would ever have looked as hot and sexy as I looked, I was all girl and proud of it.

Mommy’s eyes widened when she saw how I looked. I couldn’t resist a little teasing. "Still thinking of me as a boy mommy?" I asked coyly, placing my hands on my hips and thrusting out my chest.

"To be honest Jamie, I haven’t thought of you as a boy in years. It doesn’t look to me as though anyone ever will again either." Mommy laughed. "You are a very sexy young lady. Kenny is a very lucky young man."

My very lucky boyfriend chose just that moment to show up at my door. Mommy told me to wait while she opened the door. After the necessary introduction mommy escorted Kenny in to where I waited. He looked at my hair, then my face, my breasts, then followed my legs down to my pumps where he started back up to my butt. He didn’t realize how obvious he was; it was all mommy could do to keep from laughing. I was just so thrilled with the attention that laughing was the last thing on my mind.

"Hi Jamie," He smiled as he managed to find his voice. "You look…very nice."

Nice? I spent an hour doing my hair, half an hour on my makeup, another fifteen minutes getting my nails to perfectly match my lipstick, I squeezed my butt into a nearly skin tight pair of jeans, and he thought I looked nice? I couldn’t wait to get him alone and show him that I was anything but nice!

"Why don’t you kids get going," Mommy winked at me, probably reading my mind. "Have a good time."

Kenny was a model of good manners, smiling and saying goodbye to mom and promising to take good care of me. As soon as we got away from the house I planned on jumping all over Mister Sweetness and showing him what a sexy woman I could be! With any luck he wouldn’t be nearly as sweet and well mannered when he got horny, and I intended to make him very, very, horny.

The mall was packed with kids from school and I made sure that every girl I knew got to see me with Kenny.

Kenny laughed after about the sixth time in five minutes that I guided him to a group of kids I knew. "Showing me off huh?"

I hadn’t planned on it’s being so obvious, at least not to Kenny. I mean, it’s just what girls did when they got a new boyfriend – we paraded him around so that other girls could see that he was taken and become jealous!

I looked up at him and gave him my sexiest smile, "As a mater of fact I am. I happen to think that you’re the cutest, sexiest guy in the whole world and I want the other girls to know how happy I am."

In a shot Kenny pulled me to him and gave me a kiss that left be breathless and dying for another. "What did I do to deserve that?" I asked as I tried to catch my breath.

"I want every girl who sees us to know just how much I love you." Kenny smiled and kissed me again. Suddenly I realized that he had used the "L" word.

"Do you mean that?" I asked anxiously. "I mean we just met."

Kenny put his arm around my waist and held me tightly. "Until I met you, I thought that ‘Love at First Sight’ was just an old saying. Now I know that it’s true."

I was too busy wiping away tears to answer him. Imagine, we had just met but he was telling me that he loved me, I was the luckiest girl that ever lived.

After the mall we drove back to my place and to our delight, mom was out shopping and wouldn’t be back for awhile. We made ourselves some sandwiches then got comfortable on the couch, necking and watching TV. I took the opportunity to show Kenny how much I loved him by trying to rub his tonsils with my tongue. It was a great afternoon for a young couple in love.

We spent all of our free time together, shopping, necking, and even studying. I was considered to be the smartest girl in school but Kenny managed to take the title from the smartest boy creating a friendly rivalry between us to see who could get the best grade. Our families were thrilled with us when we were nearly tied for the valedictorian honors at graduation. I won, but it was only because Kenny got a ninety eight percent on a test that I managed to ace.

I’m sure that a lot of people thought that Kenny and I would eventually break up, after all, we were only seventeen when we met and seventeen year olds just don’t fall in love. Or so they thought. Kenny and I were determined to prove them wrong, we knew we were meant for each other and nothing was going to keep us apart.

We were in our third year of college when Kenny surprised me with a ring. "I know this is just a formality Jamie, as far as I’m concerned there could never be another girl that I’d love as much as I love you."

Tears began to roll down my cheek in torrents, I had expected this to happen eventually but it didn’t make what I had to do any easier. My fantasy world was about to end. Somehow I had to tell the guy I loved, the one who had just proposed to me, that I was really a guy but that I still wanted to be his wife.

Kenny was stunned to say the least, he begged me to quit joking several times. Finally Kenny seemed to accept what I had told him. He seemed calm and for a moment I thought that the worst had passed, surely we could work this out, after all, we loved each other.

"You’ve made a fool out of me!" He screamed, his face becoming redder by the second. "You let me believe you were really a girl, a girl I fell in love with. What kind of sick person are you anyhow?"

"Please Kenny, let me explain." I sobbed. "I wanted to say something but I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. I never, ever wanted to make a fool out of you. I want to be your wife."

Kenny refused to listen to my pleadings and stormed out of the house leaving me devastated. I would be ruined if he said a word to anyone but worst of all, I had forever lost the only one I could ever have loved.

Mom tried to console me but it was no use, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t study so I dropped out of college, I just didn’t want to live. Why I didn’t kill myself that day, I’ll never know.

Nikki stopped by a few days later and insisted that we talk. Not wishing to lose the only friend I had left I agreed.

"Kenny claims he broke off the engagement because you’re a guy, what in God’s name is he talking about? I’ve know you since we were little girls, if you’re a guy I have to have a long talk with my mom."

"You’d better call your mom Nikki," My voice broke up as I talked. "Your brother’s is right, sort of."

I ran through the entire story about how I was supposed to go to the juvenile detention center until I turned eighteen but mom had made this goofy deal with the judge. I gave her all of the details about the post hypnotic suggestions, Aunt Patty’s teaching me how to be a girl, and mom and I finally moving to Arizona so that I could start a new life, as a little girl. "It wasn’t my idea to fool anyone Nikki, least of all Kenny. I fell in love and there was no way out for me. I never meant to hurt him, I love him too much for that."

Nikki started to grin then broke up laughing.

Having Nikki laugh at me was the last straw. "Get out!" I demanded as I rose from the table. "I was totally honest with you, I never expected you to laugh at me like I was some sort of a freak."

"No Jamie, it’s not that." Nikki explained as I reached for the doorknob. "I believe you, honestly I do. Don’t throw me out, please?"

"What were you laughing at then?" I asked as I relaxed my grip on the doorknob. Nikki and I had been best friends ever since we met, why would she laugh at me?

"The irony of it all," she shrugged. "If you’re not a girl then I’m in trouble. How can I ever get used to losing all of those cute guys to a boy?"

Nikki threw her arms around me and held me tight while I sobbed. "It’s okay Jamie, I believe everything you told me. It must have been absolutely terrible for you, one day you’re a teenage boy and the next thing you know you’re a little girl in frilly dresses playing with baby dolls. We grew up together though and I know that there’s just no way you could be a guy. My brother’s too stupid to realize that he’s losing someone that would love him unconditionally for the rest of her life. He’s not good enough for a girl like you."

No, don’t say that Nikki," I begged. "I love your brother and I’d do anything to make him happy. He’s the most wonderful guy I’ve ever known."

"Let me see what I can do, okay?" Nikki asked with a smile. "Don’t go off the deep end on me, I couldn’t bear losing my best girlfriend."

I promised Nikki that I’d hold on and hope she could somehow help. Three long weeks had gone by when there was a knock at the door one evening. I was upstairs in my room but heard familiar voices downstairs. "Jamie, please come down here." Mommy called to me. "We have visitors."

When I got downstairs I was surprised to see Nikki, her mom, dad, and Kenny standing there. "We have to talk," Nikki announced as she led her family to the dining room table.

Nikki’s dad started things off with a bang. "It’s nice to see you again after all these years Jamie, I just wish it was under more pleasant circumstances. It seems there’s always a problem whenever we get together."

"Excuse me Mr. Hodges, but have we met before?" Nikki’s step-dad seemed vaguely familiar to me. I couldn’t seem to place his face but looking at it gave me a very bad feeling.

"I’m sorry Nikki, maybe I should have introduced myself a bit better." He smiled and extended his hand. "The last time we met I was a judge in a little town called Riverglenn."

Suddenly I remembered, and I knew why I felt so badly. I was talking to the man who sentenced me to this life, the one who was ultimately responsible for both my past happiness and current misery.

Turning to Kenny he shook his head. "Maybe I can shed a little light on this matter for you. Eight years ago a boy came before me with a record of problems. He’d had too many chances in the past to give him another one; he was going to be spending several years with some of the worst kids society had ever known. I knew he needed another chance but there wasn’t any way that I could justify releasing him to cause more trouble. When his mother begged me to show mercy I just had to find a way to help."

"You helped him by making him pretend to be a little girl?" Kenny asked in shock. "I hope you’re happy with your little Frankenstein monster."

"Watch your mouth young man!" Nikki’s mom shouted at Kenny. "I’ve known this young lady since she was a little girl and I will not have you talking to her like that."

"Young lady? Little girl?" Kenny laughed. "I don’t think so. He’s no more a girl that I am."

"You’re wrong Kenny," Nikki weighed in on my side. "I grew up with Jamie, we did everything together since we were little girls. She slept at my house and we took showers together in school, trust me when I tell you that Jamie is all girl, physically and mentally. If you’re too goofy to realize that she loves you then you don’t deserve her. I can fix her up with any one of a dozen guys I know who’d be thrilled to have her. She doesn’t need you!"

"Don’t say that Nikki, please? I know you mean well but I do need Kenny, he’s the only guy I could ever love."

I turned to Kenny. "I was serious when I told you that I loved you Kenny. I was serious about doing anything for you also. I wish it could have worked out but I understand." I had to stop, my self-control had given out and I broke into tears.

"Jamie stopped being a boy years ago Kenny," His father told him. "One of the requirements of his probation was that I be kept informed of what was happening in his life. I know everything about a young woman named Jamie Koor, and nothing at all about a boy named James Koor. Mentally she became a girl years ago, a minor operation will complete her physical transformation. Becoming a girl was not something she wanted to do, it was forced upon her and she has adjusted exceptionally well."

"It’s up to you Kenny," Nikki’s mom. "Personally though, if I were Jamie, I’d tell you to hit the road. A wonderful woman like her can find another guy faster than you could imagine. Nikki was right, you need Jamie, she doesn’t need you!"

There was nothing but silence in the room for the longest time. Finally Nikki’s dad pushed away from the table and stood up. "You’re the biggest damn fool I’ve ever known Ken, but it’s your life to screw up."

Nikki and her mom stood also and started to leave. "Sorry Jamie, we tried but my brother is a jerk. Don’t worry though, I know this great guy named Jack that’s available. I’ll try to fix you guys up."

"Don’t you dare!" Kenny shouted suddenly. "Jamie is my girl, my fiancée, and I don’t want you fixing her up with other guys!" He turned to me and held his arms out. "I’m sorry honey, I’ve been a complete jerk. If you forgive me I’ll make this up to you, I promise."

I was about to rush into his outstretched arms and tell him that I forgave him when Nikki let out a long shrill whistle stopping me in my tracks. "She reached into her purse and fished something out. "Catch Bozo!" She called out as she lobbed it to Kenny. "Now, do it right!"

Kenny caught the small box in mid air and grinned at Nikki. Dropping to one knee he took my hand and flipped open the box to reveal the engagement ring he had been ready to give me once before.

"Jamie, will you marry me?"

The words were like a beautiful symphony orchestra playing the world’s most romantic music.

I bit my lip to steady myself, and then with tears rolling down my cheeks I said the words Kenny waited to hear. "Yes Kenny, I’ll marry you and be the best wife a man could want."

Our families clapped and cheered as Kenny held me and kissed me. I looked over his shoulder to see Nikki giving me a thumbs up sign. I relaxed my hold on Kenny just long enough to return the gesture then quickly got back to hugging and kissing my future husband.

I had the final surgery when I was twenty-one, well twenty-five actually but a girl really shouldn’t discuss her age. Kenny was there when I went under and he was the first person I saw when I woke up. "I hope you appreciate what I’ve done for you," I teased. "There’s no going back now."

Kenny kissed me on my forehead. "Don’t worry about going back honey," He whispered in my ear. "Our future is ahead of us."

When I was released I was given a set of things called Stints in various sizes. They were shaped like penises and were to be used to stretch my new opening and keep it from closing up. Kenny offered to handle the job for me but I was still in a lot of pain so I had to give him a rain check. I promised to redeem it as soon as possible, I was just as anxious to make love to him as he was to me.

Several months later we were married and decided on a Honeymoon cruise. "Leave your little friends at home baby," He said with a wink. "I’ll be handling the job from now on."

Once we were in our cabin I started to unpack the frilly negligees and sexy lingerie I had brought to tease Kenny with. "Do you still think of me as a boy Kenny?" I teased as I slipped on a sheer baby doll nightie.

Kenny looked me over and got a wicked looking grin on his face. "I’m sure the doctor’s did a good job my love, but you’re not officially a woman until I make you one."

Kenny pulled me close to him and started to nibble and suck on my breasts. I couldn’t believe the feelings that were shooting through my body, just as I was sure I couldn’t take any more he gently lowered me to the bed and began kissing every inch of my body. When he got to my crotch he showed me that tongues could be useful for more than speaking. He lingered for a while, driving me crazy with desire. Finally I grabbed his head and pulled him to my lips for a kiss. "I’ve been a girl since I was nine years old, make a woman out of me, please?" I begged.

Hours later I was a woman six times over! I ran my fingers through my husband’s chest hairs and realized that I owed my mother and realized that I had lived a very strange life as a boy, a little girl, and now a woman and a wife. I looked down and Kenny and noticed the bulge in his shorts. I gently slid them down and proceeded to pay my darling husband back for making a woman out of me!

 

 

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