Idealized

by Jennifer White

  

John and Loraine were fairly happy together after fifteen years of marriage. They still had a decent relationship, although as most couples tend to do, they had drifted apart somewhat. And their sex life had tailed off as well, down to once a week or so (if Loraine was lucky).

"You don't think I'm pretty anymore" she said. "You think I'm too fat."

"No, its not that honey. I just work such long hours and all. I'm too exhausted most nights."

Loraine knew that he was leaving out the part about going out with the guys after work, and drinking. She wondered if he was seeing some pretty young thing on the side. She was insecure that he might dump her for some young chick, and leave her. But as many women do, she sometimes read too much into things. Men aren't as subtle as women, and their actions and words may not imply what women think they do.

 

One day Loraine was reading a magazine, when she came across an ad for a spa in California. It promised that with a 2 week stay, a woman would be pampered, soothed, have fun, and most of all, come home having lost weight, and looking better than she has in years. It was expensive, but it sounded like just what she needed. She needed to relax and have fun, but if she could also lose some weight and look better for John, then perhaps their relationship would improve.

She went to their web site, and looked at the palm trees, the ocean, the activities...it was so wonderful sounding that she asked John if she could do it.

"I have enough money saved up. And you'd have 2 weeks to golf with your buddies, stay out late, and all of that. What do you say?"

"If you really want to go, sure" said John. He relished the thought of not being nagged for 2 weeks, and being able to do whatever he wanted.

"Oh thank you honey" she said.

* * *

 

When Loraine came back from the spa, John's jaw dropped when he saw her. She must have lost 30 pounds, and in all the right places. She was radiant, looking better than he had ever seen her. He could have sworn that her boobs were bigger too. Her overweigh tummy was flat, her legs were sexy, her butt looked smaller, but her curves were quite apparent. She looked hot! He was astounded.

"Look at you! What did they do to you?" he asked.

"I'm sworn to secrecy. But I can tell you that it was such a fun vacation! It was *so* wonderful."

Something in her voice sounded wrong though. There was a twinkle in her eye that she normally only had after sex, so he was immediately suspicious that there was something she wasn't telling him.

 

After the spa, John's sex drive picked right up, and the couple were now having sex 5 or 6 nights a week. Loraine felt so good that she was turning him on again! It made her feel special, like when they had first dated. He was treating her so much better now.

But bit by bit, over the next six months, she started to put weight back on again. She didn't have time to exercise, and she drank a couple of days a week, so like most women, she gained weight. She felt depressed that she didn't keep the weight off. But then she had an idea: go to the spa again!

"Please John, it was so much fun the last time. I have almost enough money. I would just need a thousand or so from you."

John considered it, but the thought of having his wife come home looking like a sexy young thing was good enough to make him write the check. Loraine beamed and kissed him when he handed it over. He was notoriously tight with his money, so this was quite a thing for him to do.

* * *

 

Again, when Loraine came back from the spa, it was unbelievable how good she looked! She seemed to have the body of a 19 year old, perfectly firm and tight where it needed to be, but womanly and sexy. But again, there was something in the way that she was walking, and something in her eyes, like a remembrance of the bliss after making love. Something was up, but John couldn't tell what it was.

John tried to pry out of her what they did there, but she refused to tell him, saying that she was sworn to secrecy. This made him suspicious. If she was strutting around some spa half naked, looking like a hot babe, then was she doing something with the cabana boy? He felt jealous of her. He wanted her, and all to himself. They went home, and made love for over an hour.

* * *

 

As with last time, after six months, Loraine told John that she needed to go to the spa again. She had done a better job this time at keeping her body thin, and he didn't think she needed to go. Not at the prices they charged. But she kept whining and bugging him until he finally relented.

But it wasn't good enough that she go off for two weeks to have an affair with some guy named Sergio or something like that. No, he wasn't going to just let her trounce off like that this time. He was going to watch her.

John went to the internet site for the spa, and found that it only served women. So he could not go with her, to keep an eye on her. But he couldn't stop her from going, and he was certain that she was having an affair there. If he was to go, that could only mean on thing. He would have to disguise himself as a woman.

It was a shocking conclusion, but John decided that it was the only course of action. There were 3 weeks remaining before her trip, so he didn't have much time to prepare. John went to several online stores, and bought women's clothes for himself. He didn't want to do it in a retail store in the mall; he would be too embarrassed to be seen by anyone he knew. So he kept it secret, but shopping online.

He bought a dress, skirts, capri pants, tops, blouses, bras, panties, and shoes. He bought a wig, cosmetics, pantyhose, more shoes, jewelry, and more. But the next problem he had to solve was a big one: women have breasts, but of course he didn't.

John found a web site that talked about issues for women, and clicked on the link for breast cancer. He knew one woman from work who had a breast removed. After she returned to work, she was wearing some sort of prosthetic device that made it look like she had two breasts. He decided to look into those.

John found that the latest technology was one where a silicon breast form is surrounded by a type of high-tech foam. It is molded to fit your chest exactly, and stays in place so that you can even wear a bikini top. The foam keeps it cool against the skin, because it breathes, yet it looks realistic. He found a clinic nearby that sold these devices, so he made an appointment to go get fitted. He would lie to them and say that he was a female impersonator at a club, and with the economy as it was, they wouldn't hesitate to make a sale.

Next, while clicking around, John stumbled across a couple of online stores that catered to men who liked to dress up as women. He had no idea that such places existed. He found things like padded panties that rounded the butt, like a woman's. Or girdles designed for men, to give them hip padding too, so they would seem to have curves. They also offered shoes in larger sizes, and other devices to augment the illusion of a man being a woman. John eagerly purchased several of these items.

He had everything shipped to his office. He was a small business owner, so it wasn't like the packages might get misrouted. And his wife would never know.

* * *

 

Once everything arrived, John practiced several times putting everything on, and taking it off. He practiced with makeup. He practiced walking in the women's shoes. He learned how to attach his new prosthesis, making it look like he had breasts. He put on his wig. He worked on a different voice, so that nobody would think he was a male.

And he enrolled at the spa for the same 2 weeks as Loraine had done, but under an assumed name. He chose Trisha for his female name, thinking that it sounded very distinctly feminine. Not a name like Chris that could be a man or a woman. No, he needed a name that could only be for a girl.

John booked himself on a separate flight from Loraine, and packed up all of his gear. He considered traveling as Trisha, but with all the security at airports these days, he would need fake IDs. And if he got caught, he would be in trouble. So he had to travel as himself.

* * *

 

When John landed in California, he smiled when he felt the sun and the warm air. It was over twenty years since he last visited the Golden State, and he was glad to be back. But he had much work to do. He picked up his luggage, and took a cab to a hotel by the airport which he had booked a room at. He paid cash for the room, so he wouldn't have to check out in person in the morning.

That was because in the morning, he was not going to be John, he was going to be Trisha.

 

All night, John practiced being Trisha. He did his makeup half a dozen times. He had bought a couple of women's magazines like Cosmo, to read articles on how to apply makeup. It took some practice, but he got better with each try. Next, he took a bath and used Nair to remove all his body hair. He had let his nails grow out longer than normal, and now he filed them into oval shapes, and painted them a bright red color. He applied a clear sealer to keep them looking good. Then he watched a chick flick on the TV, and tried to concentrate on how the women talked to each other.

He had been watching the girls at the office too, and noticed something different in how women talked. Men seemed to interrupt each other all the time, but women seemed to let one woman talk for a while, then another, then another. He reminded himself not to interrupt, and to just listen when a girl was talking. But when it was his turn, he had better make sure to talk for a while, so he didn't look suspicious.

 

In the morning, 'Trisha' walked out the front door of the hotel, and hailed a cab. 'She' was wearing a light floral sun dress, and 'her' jewelry. 'She' wore perfume, and perhaps too much makeup. The cab pulled up, and 'she' was about to put her bags in the trunk of the cab, but the driver said "Here Ma'am, let me do that for you."

John wasn't used to being treated like a lady. He would have to remember to let men do things for him, and not to try to do something like heavy lifting. Perhaps he should have gone out in public a few times to prepare. Oh well, there wasn't much time, so this was the best he could do.

 

The cab dropped 'Trisha' off at the spa, and immediately, 'she' was impressed. The grounds were immaculate, perfectly trimmed bushes, green lawns, a lake, golf course, horse riding stables, lit tennis courts, and lots of other facilities were visible, as well as pools and buildings.

A young man with a dark tan (could this be 'Sergio', who John had imaged?) loaded Trisha's bags onto a bell hop cart, and wheeled them off. A middle-aged woman greeted Trisha.

"Hello, I am Tammy. I will be your activity coordinator while you are here. Roberto will show you to your room. After you unpack and freshen up, meet me at my office, across the hall here. We will go over your choice of activities, and put together a customized schedule for you."

"Thanks Tammy. I look forward to that" said John, using his practiced 'Trisha voice'.

 

When John got to the room, he was impressed. Having traveled on business for years, he had seen more than his share of hotel rooms. But this was nice. More of a suite. Jacuzzi tub, three TVs, king sized bed, couch, desk, view of the grounds, large rooms, walk in closet....much nicer than anything he ever had stayed in before. This was plush.

From having traveled with Loraine, John knew enough that women want to unpack as soon as they can, so that their clothes don't get too wrinkled from being in the suitcase. Upon unpacking, John discovered why. The fabrics in his new wardrobe sure seemed to wrinkle easier than his men's clothes. He had to iron several of the pieces to make them look good, and he carefully hung everything in the closet.

John also laid out all his makeup on the vanity in the bathroom, just like he had see Loraine do at hotels, so that the maids wouldn't be suspicious either. As a finishing touch, he had bought a box of tampons and several maxipads which he placed in plain view too.

John took the purse that he had bought online, and loaded it with money, lipstick, nail polish, tampons, coin purse, phonebook/planner, and a few other odds and ends that he imagined that every woman would have in her purse. He put the purse over the crook of his arm, like Loraine did, and headed down to Tammy's office. He would have to make sure that he kept the purse with him everywhere he went, just like the girls did.

"Welcome!" said Tammy cheerfully. "Lets start out with a tour of the grounds. Come with me."

They got into a golf cart, and Tammy drove along the paved trail, pointing out things to Trisha. The cart zoomed along, and for the first time, Trisha felt the wind under her skirt. It was a pleasant feeling, and one that actually aroused John. But he had taken that into account too.

When John had found the web site that helped men look like women, he had read about dietary supplements that contain naturally occurring substances found in plants, that act like estrogens in the human body. Many women took them as they reached menopause to help their hormone levels. The web site said that men who wanted to be women took them too. The web site said that one of the effects of large amounts of estrogen in the male bloodstream, is that it disrupts the hormonal balance and makes it difficult to get an erection. So John had gone out and purchased several of these supplements, and had been taking high doses of them for weeks. And when he stopped taking them, he'd go back to normal.

At his age, it was harder and harder to get hard in bed anyway, so between that and the supplements, he had little to fear from giving himself away be becoming aroused. The padded panties he wore also had pads in the front to help hide it as well. So even the breeze tickling him under his dress didn't make him get hard.

"...those are the tennis courts.." continued Tammy, "...and those are the riding stables. But if you just want to relax, we have six pools, each with its own bar. All food and drinks are included with your package, so feel free to partake. There are massages available at pool side, as well as this building here, where you can get your hair done, get a makeover, or get your nails done."

"I just put on a new color last night" said John, holding up his fingers.

"Ooh, that's a nice one for you, but look at your cuticles! They're a mess. When's the last time you had a manicure?"

John froze for a moment. He hadn't thought to get a manicure before he came here. He didn't know how to care for your cuticles, or even what they were (other than something to do with fingernails!).

"Um, you know how it is for a busy modern woman" he said. "There is never time to take care of yourself."

That was a line that Loraine had often used on him, when she nagged him for something. Tammy smiled at him and nodded.

"Oh, don't I know. Between your husband, your children, the house, there is always something that needs to be done. And you put yourself at the bottom of the list. Don't feel bad, most women are just like you."

She put her hand on John's as she said this. If John had been dressed up as a man, he would have taken it as a sign of flirting. He had to remember that he was Trisha now, and it was just a friendly gesture from another woman. In fact, Tammy had seemed to accept him more as a woman now, if there had been any doubts at the outset based on his appearance.

John looked down at his smooth legs, and his cute shoes. It was so strange to see two firm mounds on his chest poking out, or to feel a flowing dress around his body. The illusion of being a woman was very strange to him, but it wasn't unpleasant. He decided that if all the girls accepted him as one of their own like Tammy had, then perhaps he would even get to learn more about Loraine, and what made her tick. He just didn't understand her sometimes.

"And what about weight loss? You're supposed to come out of here thinner and trimmer. You haven't shown me that yet" said Trisha.

"Well," started Tammy, "you will have to wait for that. The first week here is for fun and relaxing. After one week, then you will get your treatment, and lose all the weight you want."

That sounded somewhat mysterious to John, but it was clear that she wouldn't say anything more. So he just listened as they completed the tour.

 

When the got back to Tammy's office, John selected a list of activities to do that seemed to match Loraine's interest list. He wanted to be close to her, so he could see what it was that she was up to. And keep an eye on those cabana boys that he thought she was seeing on the side.

The first thing that he had selected has horseback riding. John knew that Loraine loved horses, so he figured that she would want to ride them. Since he as a beginner, there was a class to learn the basics. They gave each of the girls in the class a fancy riding outfit, with white pants, red jacket, a cute cap, and long black boots. They were also given sports bras to keep their boobs from bouncing around too much. John's realistic boobs jiggled when he walked or moved, so he needed a sports bra too. They went into their changing rooms, and emerged with their matching outfits.

"You look cute!" said one girl to John.

"So do you!" he said, returning the compliment, like he saw the girls on the TV do. He looked around, but there was no sign of Loraine. He sat through the instructional part of the class, then the all went out to take turns riding a very gentle horse in circles, while a trainer held it on a reign. Riding on their own would come later. As John waited his turn in line, all the girls chatted. He was one of them now, so he made sure to throw in a few things, like they did. He looked around, and spotted Loraine riding by on the track!

She had on a riding outfit too, just like he did. But she was very good on a horse, and galloped by at a high pace. He looked at her, and she must have saw him, but she showed no recognition that the person she had glanced at was her husband. He had fooled her! Good.

"I can see you staring at that woman" said one of the girls. John thought his cover was blown. He started to blush.

"Don't worry, I'm jealous of how she rides too! Maybe we'll be that good when we're done here."

"I sure hope so!" said John. "My name is Trisha, nice to meet you."

"I'm Tiffany. Nice to meet you too."

They chatted until it was John's turn to ride. It was fun and exciting, and after only a few minutes, he could understand why Loraine loved horses so much. He was only going at a walking pace, in a circle, with a trainer holding the reigns, but he immediately understood the fun it would be to run at a full gallop, the wind in your face.

 

After lunch, John played golf, and sure enough, he spotted Loraine a few holes ahead. He was wearing a cute little white outfit, with a visor, skirt, matching top, and a pink trimmed vest. It was fun to hit from the red tees, instead of the gold tees in the back. He took a smaller swing, trying not to look manly as he hit the ball. To his amazement, his smaller easier swing actually hit the ball longer and with more control than his normal huge rip he took.

It was hard not to say anything when his playing partners did things like throw a ball from behind a tree, and not count it as a stroke, or to improve their lie in the rough. Since he wanted to fit in, John did a few things like that himself. He even took a ball out of a sand trap, and put it by the green.

"I hate sand traps" he lied (he was actually very good hitting out of sand). "You can tell a *man* invented this game, putting those things out there."

"Oh yes!" agreed Tina. The girls chatted, even when someone was putting. John had to not let this bug him either. But he was surprised to find that by being more relaxed and casual about the game when playing with the girls, that it kept him loose, and he actually played very well! When he was serious about the game with the guys, it just tightened him up.

 

John joined his playing partners pool side for drinks and snacks afterwards.

"Why don't we take a dip in the pool" suggested Kim.

"Not me" said John, using a line he had practiced in case such a situation arose. "I'm to embarrassed to be seen in a swimsuit. Maybe after we loose some weight around here I can pull out the bikini. But I'm not going into he water looking like this."

"I know what you mean" said Sandra, "I love to get sun, but I feel so fat that I'm embarrassed to wear a two-piece."

"Oh you're not fat" said John. "You look just fine."

"Thank you for saying that, but I feel fat" she said.

John knew better than to argue with a woman on that point. Loraine didn't listen to reason either, and when she thought her thighs were fat or something, no amount of logic would convince her otherwise. John decided to use another line that he had often heard from his wife.

"Its not fair. Men don't care, and go swimming even if they're fat and bald."

"Right on sister!" said Tina, and they started talking about men.

"Speaking of men, check that out" said Kim, pointing to the towel boy who was handing out fresh towels to the girls around the pool.

"Yummy" said Sandra.

John watched as the towel boy gave a towel to a girl who was reading a book in the sun. She looked up to take the towel, and John recognized her: Loraine! She was right there at the same pool as him, and didn't even recognize him!

John was wearing sunglasses, so the other girls couldn't see his eyes as he spied on Loraine. She took the towel from the guy, and gave him the once-over. But she returned to her book. Perhaps he had been wrong about her. But it was only the first day. He would keep tabs on her closely.

* * *

 

The next few days were the same: John had a great time with the girls, kept an eye on Loraine, ate, drank, and partied. There was a dance every night, with all the girls going out on the dance floor shaking their things. He joined in (not wanting to stand out from the crowd). He looked to see if any of the boys who worked there were dancing, but none were. Just girls.

John had a manicure and a pedicure, and let Tina talk him into having his eyebrows waxed, along with a few other beauty treatments. It felt wonderful to be pampered like this, and he could understand why Loraine had enjoyed it so much. You didn't have to do anything, they would iron your clothes for you, put on your makeup, just about *anything* you wanted. But he saw no signs that there were affairs going on between the women and the employees.

But tomorrow was also a big day for John. He was scheduled to go to the mysterious place they had all talked about, for his "weight loss treatment". He had no idea what was in store for him, but he could stand to loose a few pounds. His big day was coming up, so he got a good nights sleep. He was getting used to sleeping in his silky nightgown now, and he slept like a baby.

* * *

 

John woke up, and went through what had been his routine for the week: shower, shave, put on fake boobs, dress up as Trisha, put on makeup, wig, jewelry, then go downstairs for breakfast with the girls. All of the 'first timers' were wondering what this miracle weight loss program was, and what would happen. The ones who had been there before just giggled, but refused to tell them anything.

John met Tammy, who drove him to a small black building in the back of the property. He was seated in a comfortable chair, in what looked almost like a doctor's office. He was then led into a room by a woman who was dressed like a nurse.

"Look through this book, and rate the women you see in the photographs. We are trying to determine your idea body image. You will see for each photo there is a number. On this sheet here, for each of those numbers, put in your rating 1-10 for the different attributes listed. Take your time, but most girls get this done in about half an hour. I'll be back soon. If you have any questions, just push the intercom button."

"Thanks" said John. He looked at the attractive women in the book. Some were a little chunky, some were too thin. Some had too big of a butt on an otherwise nice body. Some were too flat up top, some were too big. But some were just right.

He picked up the pencil, and began his work. He looked carefully at the first photo, which showed a girl in a bikini. She was pretty hot, but too big in the butt and hips, and her neck was too long. John looked at the sheet of paper, and marked her attributes:

 

-Face: 9

-Bust: 10

-Hips: 2

-Butt: 1

-Legs: 4

-Thighs: 3

-Arms: 6

-Shoulders: 7

-Neck: 2

 

Then he went on to the next one. It was pretty easy. When he was done, the girl returned, took the paper, and ran it through a scanner. She pointed to a computer in the corner, which flashed up a 3-D image of a faceless woman, with the ideal attributes, based on John's input.

"Smile" she said, and snapped a picture of John.

She hooked the camera up to the computer, clicked on a few buttons, and in seconds, the image on the computer changed to put John's face on the perfected image.

"There! Very pretty. That is your ideal you."

John was somewhat stunned looking at the image. It was his face all right, but slightly altered to be finer and prettier, with no lines and wrinkles. The body was flawless, a perfect feminine ideal. Even with the hormones he had used to suppress his male reactions, he still felt a twinge between his legs. The body on the screen was too perfect not to get some sort of rise out of him.

"What do you think?" said the girl.

"Marvelous!" he said, trying to sound enthusiastic. No amount of exercise or diet would ever make *him* look like that.

"Follow me" said the girl, so John did. They went into another room, where there was a comfortable black leather chair, with arm rests, a headrest, and a footrest. There was a large screen in the front. It was sort of like a private movie theater.

"Have a seat" she said. John figured that they were going to show him some sort of video. And he was right. An image appeared on the screen, and he found that there were speakers in the wrap-around headrest, so it sounded like the voice was right there by him.

"You are about to experience the ultimate in weight loss and body shaping" said the voice, which reminded him of an info-mercial. "For ages, women have struggled with the fact that their bodies are genetically programmed to store fat and gain weight in all the wrong places, when we don't want it. But that is all a thing of the past, thanks to the Idealizer X-20 program. But before we begin, you must swear to secrecy. Only a select few women know about the Idealizer X-20, and you are about to join that elite group."

The girl handed a long legal form over to John, who signed it (as Trisha of course).

"There, now you are legally bound from talking to anyone about this program, even your husbands. We keep the X-20 a secret, for reasons you will soon come to understand. Your assistants will now attach several devices to you, to monitor you. Do not be alarmed. Relax and enjoy."

John felt tense inside. What were they doing? But the voice was so smooth and relaxing, that he found it difficult to keep his eyes open. The screen showed various colors of red and pink, in patters that appeared and faded. It was very relaxing to look at.

The girl put something kind of band around his wrists and ankles. The something across his forehead. He didn't even protest as some sort of needle plunged into his arm. He just smiled as a warm feeling surged up inside of him.

"Perfection" said the voice in the speakers. "Something that women have strived for, but few have attained. You have chosen your ideal self image."

The picture of the image that John had designed appeared on the screen, with a picture of himself as he was next to it. There were many glaring differences, like how the ideal image had real curves, but his photo only had little ones produced by the padding. The ideal image had generous breasts, while his prosthesis was much smaller. And most of all, the ideal image looked like a sexy woman, he looked barely adequate.

"We can attain perfection today" said the voice. "Just sit back and relax, and let the Idealizer X-20 do all the work for you. No workouts, no sweating, no starvation. Modern technology can do what nature cannot. Come join your sisters in perfection."

Now John's heart beat rapidly. He had to get out of this thing. It was going to do something to his body, and change him to look like that girl he had designed! No! But when he tried to move his arms, they were bound tight. And his legs too. He could not move a muscle in fact!

A humming sound started, and a piece of machinery came down from a door in the ceiling. The machine moved forward, until it was almost touching him. An electric motor whined, and wings on the side of the machine started to wrap around the chair. Soon, he was engulfed, and only his head was outside of it. A small extension rose out from the machine, and extensions wrapped around his head. He was completely engulfed now, unable to move.

"Energy and matter are really the same thing" said the voice. "And one can be converted into the other. Your matter is now interchanging with energy, and rearranging to suit your ideal self image."

John's mind was in a panic. No! He was going to become the girl on the screen that he had seen! He had to stop it, but even his mouth didn't work. He couldn't even scream.

"The biggest complaint of older women is what they have to go through at menopause. For that reason, as an extra bonus, the X-20 is giving your the reproductive system of a 20 year old girl. Think of it: no hot flashes, no vaginal dryness. Instead, you will have the sex drive of a young woman, at the height of her fertility. You can have babies again."

John wanted nothing to do with having a baby! And he wanted nothing to do with the reproductive system of a 20 year old girl (other than to find one to have sex with). But he could do nothing about his predicament.

"Now that your reproductive system is in place, we will take it for a test drive. It is important that it is properly stimulated, to make sure that it comes on-line correctly. Lets begin now. You feel a warmth inside, as the X-20 starts to make contact and stimulate your clitoris."

John felt something he never had before. A tingling between his legs, and a strange warm sensation. It was *very* pleasant, but also terrifying. He was being stimulated as a female. The very thought sent tremors through his brain.

"Feel yourself getting wet inside as your clitoral stimulation continues. Now the X-20 will insert a probe, to seek out your G-spot."

John felt something new again: the feeling of something sliding gently inside him, gliding on a sheen of lubricant, which his body was producing. He was wet, and now something was being inserted into his pussy. He could *feel* it. He gasped as he was penetrated.

"Nipple stimulation heightens orgasm" said the voice, as John felt as though someone was suckling on each of his nipples. At the same time, there was a feeling of being touched in the breasts. But it was very different than what he would normally feel, somehow his breast area was much more sensitive, and responsive now.

"Finally, sexual stimulation brings the onset of orgasm" said the voice, but John couldn't really hear it, because he was in the throes of pleasure, as wave after glorious wave of orgasm shot through his body. It was like the nerve from his head down through his spine was going haywire, with impulses electricity zapping him. The warm glow between his legs was intense, and he felt himself quivering all over, as each wave of pleasure swept over him.

This was *so* much better than sex as a man had ever been. John had done drugs in the 60s, and this was *far* better than that even. His brain could not fathom the extent of the pleasure that his body was feeling. Words could not describe it. It was beyond comprehension that such pleasure was possible. The fact that his body had been transformed into that of a woman didn't even come into play; all he knew was the explosions of pleasure that were rocking him to his very soul.

"You are tired now" said the voice. "You want to sleep. You will wake up soon, in your room. You will never reveal the secrets you learned her today. Remember."

John *was* tired. It had been such a shock on the body, and he was completely out of energy. He fell into a pleasant darkness...

* * *

 

When John awoke, he knew that he was back in his room. And he remembered everything that he had felt as the machine had wrapped itself around him. His first reaction was to touch himself between his legs. His hand confirmed what his body had told him when he had trembled with pleasure: he was a woman now.

In reaching down there, the inside of his arm brushed against his breast. Whereas the prosthesis had been an unfeeling cold lump on his chest, this was different. He *felt* it in his breast as his arm touched it. And as for the arm, it sensed *warmth* where it had touched. These breasts were real.

John ripped off his nightie, and looked down at his naked body. After a week of wearing fake boobs, it wasn't the overwhelming shock to see something pointing out from his chest. Instead, it was the shock of seeing his erect nipples, and the wide rings of a darker color around them. He touched his nipple with his fingers, and *felt* it. These breasts were real.

John again touched himself between his legs as he looked down. He somehow didn't believe the sensation of touch that he had felt. He had to *see* it too. And there it was, in all its glory. Just like his wife, just like his girlfriend, just like his sister. He was just like them now.

John felt a shiver. He didn't know if it was from the cold, or from the inner scare he felt inside. From the moment that a child becomes aware, they learn that boys are different from girls. At a young age, boys tease girls, and often dislike them. But as they grow older, the feel an attraction to their bodies, even if sometimes their differences in thinking make their relationships troublesome.

This left John's mind reeling. All the things he hated about women, were part of *him* now. Or better said, he was one of *them* now. And all the things about women that he found attractive...they were part of him now too.

"I can't believe it..." he said out loud, hearing his new feminine voice for the first time. He moved to the mirror. Every detail of him was changed, except perhaps his eyes. But he was a girl now, a *female*. He felt, cold, and knew he needed to put on his clothes. But he dreaded it as well.

The bra fit perfectly, except now his breasts were made of soft female flesh instead of cold artificial materials. This meant that the bra helped shape his breasts, molding them into a flawless shape. They were so big! So round, so full. He could not believe it was himself that he was seeing in the mirror.

Next, he put on his panties. Whereas before his male parts had made a tent, now they laid flat against his crotch. That and the curve to his hips made them look so much better than they had before. Again, it was hard to fathom that the girl he saw in the mirror was really him. She was so hot, so cute!

John put on his skirt, and for the first time, sensed what it was like to be attractive in one. The way it hugged his curves and flowed around him...so much better than before. He spun around and felt the soft fabric caress his skin. Soon he had his top on, and was admiring how wonderful he looked in the mirror.

His hair was long now, and real. No more wigs. And he didn't need makeup to look good, but he put on just a touch here and there anyway. And he put on his jewelry. Wow! He was so stunning.

But there was a problem with his shoes; they were way too big. In fact, all of his clothes were too small for him now. He felt the need to go shopping and get some better outfits to show off his body better. Instead of these loose fitting clothes, he wanted something tight and sexy looking.

 

John decided that he needed a drink, so he went out to the pool, where the cabana boys would bring out tropical drinks when he snapped his fingers. He put on a large straw hat, sunglasses, and headed out for the pool. He sat down, and ordered a Pina Colada.

As he sipped it, a woman sat down next to him and said 'Hello'.

"Hello" responded John, still shocked to hear a girl's voice coming out when he spoke.

"My name is Loraine" said the woman, and John went pale. This was his wife! Right next to him! He was a woman now, and she didn't even recognize him.

"Hi, I'm Trisha" he responded, using his female alias.

"Wonderful place, isn't it?" said Loraine.

"Yes it is!" responded John.

He sensed that he had an opportunity to find out things now that had been driving him crazy. He engaged in small talk for a while, just chatting about this and that as they sipped their drinks. Then he went for it.

"So, what do you think about all those cabana boys?" he said, with a teasing tone of voice.

"Oh, they're all hotties here, aren't they?" replied Loraine.

"I'm thinking of asking one up to my room" said John. "But I'm not sure if that's ok. Have you done it?"

"Well, I do know that lots of girls here rave about getting laid by them, but I've never done it. I have a husband at home, and I would never dream of cheating on him" said Loraine, holding up her wedding ring for John to see.

"That's very pretty" he replied, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. He had doubted her, but she had not cheated on him. All his suspicions were wrong. And now *everything* was wrong. Loraine was looking like a 22 year old again, but he would never have her, because he was a woman now too, and every bit as hot as she was. He started to cry.

"What's wrong?" asked Loraine.

"You're....you're so sweet" said John.

"Here" said Loraine, handing over a tissue. John dried his eyes, and blew his nose. He was so *emotional* now. He hadn't cried since he could remember. But something as small as a wife's fidelity was so *wonderful* that it had made him cry. He really was a woman now.

John was going to change topics. He was going to ask her about the Optimizer X-20, and what she thought about her experience. But instead of what he wanted to say, something else came out of his mouth.

"I love how your hair looks. Where do you get it done?"

"Oh, there's this salon around the corner from the tennis courts, and...."

As Loraine talked, John felt a strange sensation. That wasn't what he had meant to ask. How did those words come out of his mouth? When Loraine was done, he tried asking her again, but this time he again said something else than he had intended. What was going on? He wasn't able to talk about the X-20?

Then he remembered the last words he had heard when hooked up to the X-20: "You will never reveal the secrets you learned her today. Remember."

They had done something to his brain. Something to make him unable to speak about it. That's why Loraine had been so evasive when he had tried to ask her about what was going on here at the spa. Again, it wasn't her fault that she had been like that.

But there was a worse implication: if they could control his brain, then what else had they done to him? If they could make him *not* do something, could them make him actually *do* something that he wouldn't normally do? Were they controlling him?

"Hello ladies, what can I do for you?" asked a tanned young man carrying a tray. He wore only a black swimsuit, which was tight enough to show off how well endowed he was.

"I'd like a frozen margarita" said Loraine, "and my friend here would like you to take her up to her room."

John elbowed her. She winked at him.

"But of course" said the young man, smiling to John.

John's heart leaped. He felt a tingle between his legs. He found it hard to take his eyes off the young man as he walked away, and to the bar. John was feeling a *female* sexual response to him.

"What's the matter?" asked Loraine.

"I'm getting wet" said John.

"Ooh, you hottie. You're going to bag your first cabana boy! Don't worry, I get so easily aroused too after a week here. I can't wait to get home and get laid by my husband! I get all excited just thinking about it."

Before John knew what to say, the young man was back, taking his hand, and leading him away. John looked back helplessly at Loraine. She smiled, licked her red lips, and winked back.

"I am Vincent. Who are you?" said the young man.

"I'm Trisha" replied John, who almost fell over when Vincent put his hand onto John's butt. John suddenly felt very sexy in his skirt. He felt so turned on! Against everything he had every felt or known in his entire life, he responded in kind with his own hand. He was about to make love to a man.

* * *

 

An hour later, after Vincent left, as John sat on the toilet cleaning himself out, it really hit him. John had made love as a woman, and had liked it. No: *loved* it. He wanted it again. And again, and again.

When John picked up the panties he had tossed recklessly to the floor, he put them on. But something was different. All week long, when he put on panties, it had felt *exotic*, foreign, strange. But now, it was none of those; it was *normal*. It was what he was *supposed* to wear.

The same went for the bra: instead of feeling slightly naughty for putting one on, it now felt *needed*. It was no longer an implement to disguise himself as a woman. Instead, it was something necessary and functional. His big boobs needed support, so he needed to wear a bra.

John decided to go with a dress this time, and picked one out from the closet. Instead of choosing one to hide in, he was choosing one to show off his new sexy body. And that was when he realized something: he had already accepted his femininity. He wasn't thinking like a man now, he was thinking like a woman. But not just thinking, it was how he felt inside now too. Making love with Vincent had triggered something inside him. It had started a chain reaction, where his whole world-view had shifted just slightly.

"I *am* a woman" said John, looking at *her* reflection in the mirror. It had to be 'her', because she could not identify with 'him' anymore. It was hard to believe that she had ever been a man.

And that name had to go. She couldn't go around even thinking of herself as 'John'. No, Trisha was much better fitting, and from now on, she would only think of herself that way.

* * *

 

Trisha sat down to write a letter to Loraine. Loraine would be heartbroken to find that there was no John when she returned home. And Trisha knew that she would never be able to go back to her former life. She couldn't just show up at work and say "Hi, I used to be John, but now I'm Trisha". No, he needed to move somewhere new, and start a new life. And he needed to write a letter to ease Loraine's pain.

He started to write out the words on a pad of paper in his room, but his flowing feminine script wasn't right. She would never believe it was John writing those words. So he logged on to his e-mail account, and composed an e-mail to her. It was with much sadness that Trisha sent it off, knowing what it would do emotionally to Loraine. But there was no other way.

 

Dear Loraine,

I am sorry my dearest, but I have to leave. You will never see
me again. You did nothing wrong, it was me. A man cannot ever come
close to understanding the emotional needs of a woman, and as a man
I have failed you. I leave you my entire estate to do with as you please.
Go out and find a new love, one that is better to you than I ever
was. One that gives you the full life that you deserve.

John

Trisha hit 'send', and cried as the screen confirmed that the e-mail was sent. Now all she had to do was to find a way to start a new life for herself. But she was confident. She was smart, she was pretty, and most of all, she was a *woman*. The world was hers to have.

  

  

  

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