Chapter 58

I began to get in the habit of swimming for a half-hour every morning before having breakfast. The exercise was good for me and I began to notice the difference after only a few days.

The New Year's Eve party at Sharon's house had been a lot of fun. Most of the people were stunt people, or married to one, and I had even met a couple of them previously, on movie sites. I stayed until 1 a.m. and then drove home. At that time of night I was able to get home in an hour since the freeways were mostly empty. The 'CHiPs', or California Highway Patrol, was out in full force looking for drunk drivers, but I didn't see anybody pulled over as I drove home.

The outdoor pool was almost finished, and the new, adjoining Jacuzzi would be done in a couple of weeks. The grounds were starting to look beautiful as the groundskeepers continued to clear the old growth and plant more flowers and lawn around the house. The new pool area was beautifully landscaped and provided several large shade trees at one end.

Mom had hired one full time farmhand, George, to tend to the areas away from the house. She had purchased a large new tractor and several implements on George's recommendation and he had begun clearing the areas around the stable. So far, about ten acres had been cleared of the trees and bushes that had sprouted up over the past twenty years or so, and seed had been planted for hay. George had said that about half of the land of the estate was suitable for growing hay. He also told Mom that the estate could be classified as a farm and would receive further exemptions from property taxes.

*****

In mid-January I attended the birthday party for the twins. I had bought them a bunch of new outfits and toys. Several of Sharon's friends had brought their toddlers over for the party. Sharon placed the girls in their highchairs and lit a candle on the cake. The twins just stared at the dancing flame until Sharon blew it out for them.

We served a small piece of cake to each of the children but they just wanted to squish it between their fingers. Their mothers wound up trying to feed it to them but most spit it back out. We had a little bit better luck with the ice cream. All the babies enjoyed that.

After the mothers and children had gone, and the twins were asleep, Sharon said to me, "I've been offered a job in the new movie that Roy's been hired for. The stunt work will last for about six weeks. Can you take the kids like you offered a couple of months ago?"

I hadn't really offered to take the twins but Sharon had interpreted it that way. "Okay, if you'll be back before mid-March. I have to leave for Vancouver for the new movie that you talked me into taking."

"I'll be back. The movie starts shooting the stunts next week."

"Okay. George, our farmhand, has a pickup truck. I'm sure that he'll be willing to pick up whatever furniture we'll need such as the cribs, playpen, highchairs, and things."

"How about doing it on Friday. That way I can stay over at your house for the first night to help if you have any problems. Then I'll leave on Saturday."

"Okay. We'll come down on Friday afternoon."

*****

On Friday, George followed me down to Sharon's house. We loaded up the truck and George left for home while Sharon and I loaded the two cars with baby clothes, toys, bottles, baby food, and… babies.

George had already unloaded the truck by the time that we got there. The cribs were in the nearest empty bedroom to mine, along with the other things that George had picked up.

Sharon and I unloaded our cars with help from Mom and Mrs. McGuire. The first order of business after we had finished was to change the twins. Then we fed them, burped them, and put them down for a nap.

*****

The twins slept through the night without making a peep. Sharon slept in the room with them and I had a baby monitor speaker on my nightstand. Sharon was all packed for her trip and left right after breakfast, after holding and kissing each of the babies for several minutes. This would be the first time that she was parted from them since she brought them home from the hospital.

Unlike Sharon's situation, I had help with the babies. Both Mom and Mrs. McGuire adored them and I could tell that the girls wouldn't lack for attention while they were at the estate.

*****

Sharon called almost every night. By the end of the first week, I had fully embraced the tasks of motherhood. My day started with them and usually ended with them. Feeding them, burping them, changing them, and playing with them filled my entire days.

At first I couldn't tell them apart, except for the tiny birthmark, but slowly I began to perceive slightly different personalities. Little Sharon was less demanding, and slower to cry, while little Crystal was quicker to smile.

I spent a lot of time sitting with the babies so I used the time to study the new script. At this rate I would know everyone's part, word for word, by the time that I went to the movie location. I also had a lot of time to write to my friends.

*****

Carol came up every weekend with Samantha and fawned over the babies for two days. On Saturday and Sunday I could relax and let them do much of the work. I got a break, they loved it, and the twins were well taken care of.

*****

When the Academy Award nominations came out in February, I learned that 'The Moons of Kapatia' had been nominated for 5 awards in the categories of Cinematography, Music - Original Score, Visual Effects, Directing, and Best Actress (me!).

'Open Spaces, Lost Loves' had been nominated for 2 awards, Directing, and Best Actor (Alec Carsie). I guess that I wouldn't be sitting with Jennifer Lareda at the ceremony since neither of us had received a nomination for the movie.

I immediately called Barbara to see if she could make me a gown, as I knew that I'd be invited to the awards ceremony. She wasn't home but I was able to reach her at the theatre. They had just finished up a three-week production. She said that she'd start working on it right away. I would go there for a fitting, and to pick the gown up just before the ceremony.

Next I called Alec Carsie to congratulate him on his nomination. I was surprised to reach him directly. We talked for a little while and I eventually got around to asking him whom he was going to the awards ceremony with. He told me that he had a new girlfriend and that he would be going with her. We talked for about another ten minutes and then wished each other luck before ringing off.

My last call was to Oliver Addams. His love life seemed to parallel my own in that both of us always seemed to be free for dates. Oliver congratulated me on my nomination and I congratulated him on the success of his television show. They were in reruns now, but they had already been picked up for a second season. Oliver told me that he'd love to escort me to the Academy Awards.

*****

I had been so busy with the babies that the weeks had passed quickly. When Sharon returned after six weeks, I became depressed that they were leaving. At least I had my new movie to throw myself into.

Once again we loaded up our cars with kiddie gear while George loaded the big things into his truck, and we took everything down to Sharon's house. I said a sad goodbye to the babies after George had left, and drove back to the house.

*****

Mrs. McGuire and I left for Vancouver on March 16^th. We found a crowd of press people waiting as I got off the plane. The movie company had given my arrival time as part of a press release announcing that we would be making the movie in Vancouver. The executive producer, Herb Dresen, was waiting, along with several staff members, to welcome me officially. After the greeting I was asked to speak with the press, so I fielded questions for about 10 minutes. Most of the questions were of the normal sort, asking about the movie and about my fellow actors. I answered honestly that I would know more once we had actually started filming, and that I hadn't yet met most of my fellow actors. Then one of the reporters asked when I was starting my next picture.

"I don't have any other new projects scheduled."

"But what about Robert Macmillan's announcement that you're going to star in his new movie based on the best selling book, 'Weep for the Lonely Hearts'?"

"I'm sorry, but the only other picture that I've signed to do is the third part of 'Open Spaces', and that hasn't been scheduled yet."

"But Mr. Macmillan announced that they intend to start shooting in mid-July, and I believe that this picture is supposed to be completed in June."

"All I can do is repeat that I haven't been signed to do Mr. Macmillan's picture."

"Is it a dispute over money?"

"There's no dispute over anything because there hasn't been any discussion that could lead to a dispute."

"Have you read the book?"

"No, I haven't, although I've heard that it's quite good."

"But when do you expect to announce that you're doing the movie."

"I don't. If that's all, thank you for welcoming me to your city. Goodbye."

I turned away from the reporters and started to walk away, unsure of where I was even going. I just knew that I wanted to get away from the jerk that wouldn't accept my answer that I wasn't going to be in 'Weep for the Lonely Hearts'. I had never even met Robert Macmillan.

"This way, Miss Ramsey," someone at my side said. I saw that it was one of the men that had been with Mr. Dresen. He was indicating a corridor to the left. "I'm sorry that you were subjected to that. That reporter is well known for being rude. He's one of those reporters who believe that they can get you to divulge confidential information if they keep pushing you enough. I'm Martin Sander, by the way. I'm the Assistant Producer for 'Princess to the Mob'."

"How do you do, Mr. Sander. I don't know why that reporter wouldn't take my word that I haven't signed to do that movie."

"I guess because there was an article in the paper today that said you have. You know how it is. Reporters should be the last ones to believe everything that they read in the papers, but in fact, they're usually the first."

"There was an article that said I had signed to do 'Weep for the Lonely Hearts'?"

"Not exactly in those words. I believe that it said that you would star in the picture, not that you had signed to do it. I take it that you haven't even been contacted?"

"That's correct."

"Then they might be using your name to raise funding for the picture. It's an old trick and still used quite often. Get the investors all excited, by dropping a couple of really big names. They usually don't announce it to the press though. Maybe Macmillan was overheard and then couldn't deny it, or perhaps one of the investors leaked the news."

"Whatever. Where are we going?"

"We have a limo waiting at the curbside. I'll have someone get your bags if you'll give me the claim checks."

Mr. Sander escorted Mrs. McGuire and me to a stretch limo and then left with my claim checks. We sat inside the car waiting, for perhaps twenty minutes, before he returned. The driver popped open the trunk and the car shook slightly as the bags were loaded. Then Mr. Sander and Mr. Dresen got into the back.

"I'm sorry, Miss Ramsey," Mr. Dresen said. "That fool is an obnoxious jerk. I should have handled that better and cut him off."

"It's okay, Mr. Dresen. Mr. Sander told me about the article. I hadn't heard about it until I arrived here."

"It's behind us now. We've found a nice house for you that's quite close to the studio. Don't you have a bodyguard?"

"No, I don't."

"We'll get somebody for you right away. We don't want to risk anything happening to you while you're up here."

"Is Vancouver a dangerous place?"

"No more so than any other large city. You're a big star, Miss Ramsey, with two Academy Award nominations. You have to be aware of the dangers from kidnappers or deranged fans."

"Or reporters?" I smiled. "I've begun to be aware of it. I intended to get someone by now, but I haven't."

"We'll get a temp for you until you can find a permanent person. Uh… I was under the impression that your mother was coming along?"

"She'll join us in a week or two. She had some things to take care of before she comes."

"I see. Well… we start working tomorrow morning. A company driver will pick you up at 7:30. Is that okay?"

"Fine, Mr. Dresen. You mentioned the Academy Award nominations. I'll need a day off to attend. They're held on Sunday so I won't be here next Monday. I'll be on my way back."

"That's not a problem, Miss Ramsey. We're in your corner, and hope that you win."

"Thank you, Mr. Dresen."

We had arrived at a large two-story frame house on a quiet street. The driver popped the trunk lid and carried the bags into the house while we talked on the sidewalk. When all of the bags were inside, Mr. Dresen and Mr. Sander told me that they'd see me in the morning and then left. Mrs. McGuire and I went inside to get ourselves settled in.

*****

The driver only had to wait a couple of minutes in the morning, while I finished my tea, put on my coat, and grabbed my purse. He had identified himself as Elwood. Apparently, his mother had been a big fan of the 'Blues Brothers' movie, as he was named after the movie character played by Dan Aykroyd.

Elwood drove the stretch limo directly to the studio lot. It took less than ten minutes to get there and another few minutes to get to the studio building. Elwood showed me the way to my dressing room and I removed my coat and made myself at home. I knew that someone would come to let me know when I was needed. I already knew the script by heart but I read through it again as I waited.

About fifteen minutes after I arrived, a production assistant came to get me for the cast meeting. The first half-hour was spent in introductions and small talk and then we got down to business, with Mr. Charles, the director, outlining the shooting schedule. After that we went through the script, and Mr. Charles gave us his interpretation of the story and the ideas that he wanted to convey.

*****

We spent the rest of the week rehearsing various scenes. On Friday, I hurried to the airport right after rehearsal and boarded a plane to begin my trip home to be fitted for the gown. It was almost midnight, local time, when I arrived at the old house. Everything was in good shape there. The company that had been hired to look after the house had been doing a good job of keeping the walks free of snow in the winter, and the grass mowed in the summer.

*****

On Saturday morning I drove Mom's car down to the theatre. I was surprised that it started so easily, and had half expected to have to call a cab. I was hungry since there wasn't any fresh food in the house, but I was afraid to stop anywhere for fear that I might be recognized. Marge and Barbara were already at the theatre, playing cards in the makeup room.

Both stood up as I walked in, and Marge said, "Crystal, darling, welcome home. You look wonderful."

Barbara stood up and said, "Ditto, kiddo."

I returned their smiles and said, "And you both look wonderful to me," as we hugged. "I've missed you so much since we moved to California. I wish that we weren't so far away. I want you to come visit us when you have a chance. We have a nice big house now with lots of bedrooms. Maybe after I get done with my current picture, you can come out. No, that won't work. You'll be getting ready for the summer production. After that then, if I'm not on location."

"That sounds nice," Marge said. "How big is your house?"

"So big that you get lost trying to find the dining room and you have to follow your nose."

"Is that California or Texas that you're talking about?" Barbara asked.

I laughed. "It sounds like a Texas tall tale, but it really is an enormous house. It was built in the thirties, by a movie queen, as her retreat. I guess that back then, California land was cheap, and labor was really cheap because of the depression."

"Whose house was it?" Marge asked.

"Brigitte LaBarre."

"I remember seeing some of her pictures. They were mostly made during the silent era. She didn't do too well once 'talkies' caught on. She had kind of a nasal sounding voice. Do you remember her, Barbara?"

"Yeah, I think so. It's been a long time since I saw any of them. They don't play the real old movies on television like they used to."

"How has everything been going here? How was the last production?"

"It's back like it was before Mr. Tucker became the director," Marge said. "Half filled houses for the first week or two, and then barely enough to bother putting on the shows during the third week."

"Why? What's the problem?"

"We need a real director. Neil Broderick took over because no one else wanted the job, but he doesn't have the time, or the passion, for it. He doesn't motivate the actors, so the plays are flat."

"That's a shame. But he's still new. Maybe he'll improve when he sees what the performances are like."

"Maybe," Barbara said, "but we're not counting on it. We really miss Mr. Tucker's capable hand on the tiller. Have you seen him?"

"No, I haven't. I haven't been to New York since you gave me his address."

"We haven't heard from him either."

"I know that it was hard for him to go. He's probably trying to distance himself from his feelings by focusing away from this town. Then too, there's the fact of his mother passing. He may be trying to avoid thinking about that also."

"We'll just hope that he comes to grips with his feelings and doesn't forget his old friends. We'll continue on here. Either Neil will improve, or someone else will eventually come along who will put the passion back into our productions. Right now we should do your fitting so that you're ready to accept your Academy Award."

I went with Barbara to the wardrobe room and we spent the next few hours on the fitting. Marge joined us after she made a fresh pot of tea. We were done by noon, and I left after hugging both of them and extracting their promise to come visit us in California.

I hurried home, closed up the house again, and was ready when the limo arrived to take me to the airport. I was a little nervous traveling by myself and I tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible. I wore my dark wig and sunglasses to avoid having anyone notice me. I even shushed the ticket agent at the airport as she began to say my name. She got the hint and avoided using it after that.

When I arrived in Chicago I went straight to the Admiral's Club to await my next flight. By not having to sit out in the concourse seating, I reduced my possibility of being annoyed, or worse. I was recognized by a couple of people in the club, but they only asked for autographs, and they did it politely, so I was happy to oblige. I also finally got a chance to get something to eat.

Mom picked me up at the airport and brought me up to the house while I filled her in on all the news from back home that I had been able to learn from Barbara and Marge.

*****

Early on Sunday morning, I went to the same hairdresser, Vivian, who had done my hair before the last awards ceremony. I had contacted her as soon as I had been nominated so that I could make the special Sunday appointment.

Vivian greeted me like an old friend when I arrived at her closed salon. The last time we had been alone, but this time she had a manicurist there with her. Vivian whispered to me that Helena had begged her to be there when I came. While Vivian worked on my hair, Helena did my hands. When we were finished, I posed for a picture with each of them before saying goodbye. They wished me luck at the awards ceremony.

Rather than going all the way home only to drive down again, I went to the condo. Mom was already there, having brought the gown with her so that she could work to remove any wrinkles.

I was almost ready when Oliver arrived to pick me up. I put on my scent and went out to meet him. He was sitting in the living room with Mom. Oliver stood up as I came out from the hallway.

"Crystal, you look beautiful. I love your gown. Another Barbara DeMilo original?"

"What else?" I said as I smiled and walked over to him and gave him a kiss. "It's wonderful to see you again. You look very handsome in your tux."

"Thank you. Ummm… I love that scent that you use. It makes me want to attack you right here."

I knew that Oliver was joking so I said, "You'd better not. We'll be late for the awards ceremony."

Mom knew Oliver's humor, and laughed before posing us for a few photos. Then we hurried off to the waiting limo.

"Your mother has a good sense of humor. I would never have dared say that in front of most mothers."

"Good thing, most mothers would send you on your way in a hail of loose objects."

Oliver laughed. "I always feel very comfortable around your family. I guess that I let myself go."

"Just don't let yourself go if my father's around. At least not until he gets to know you."

"Your father? I thought that your folks were separated?"

"They are, but Daddy visits a few times each year. He was out here at Christmas time."

"You're lucky. I haven't seen my folks in two years."

"Two years? Why not?"

"They didn't approve of… my wanting to be an actor."

"What are they, Amish?"

"No, but I sometimes think that they hold similar beliefs. They don't consider an actor's life to be a fitting one. They think that men should do manual work, and women should stay home and care for the family. They're right out of the thirties, despite being born in the fifties and living through the sixties."

"What does your dad do?"

"He's a dairy farmer. Unlike the Amish, he's not opposed to automation. I was expected to stay at home and marry someone so that our farms could be consolidated into a bigger one."

"That sounds positively Medieval. Did they arrange a marriage for you when you were born?" I said, laughing.

"No, they waited until I was in high school."

"You're kidding, aren't you?"

"No, not entirely anyway, they actually gave me three potential mates to choose from. I was supposed to make a decision before going off to the ag and tech college, but instead I took the money that they gave me for school and ran away to California. I bummed around for about six months trying to get acting work, while I sold T-shirts to survive, and finally landed a tiny part in a television special. That opened the door a little and I finally started landing tiny parts in television shows and movies. Mr. Lewis, Mr. Daniels partner, happened to be on the set one day and saw my performance. Next thing I knew, I had an agent. Once I had good representation, I started to get parts on a regular basis."

"What about your folks?"

"I've written several letters home but they never respond. Once we began our series together, I sent a check for ten times the amount that they had given me for college, but they never cashed it. I know that they're alive and well, so it must be that they don't want to know me. Or at least that my father doesn't want to know me anymore, since he rules the house with an iron hand. The funny thing is that I could buy them a thousand times more land then they would ever have gotten by marrying me off to the best prospect, but they won't talk to me. But let's change the subject; we shouldn't be talking about anything depressing tonight. Do you have your acceptance speech ready?"

"Not that I'm going to need it, but I prepared a little speech just in case."

"You have to think positive."

"Alright," I said grinning, "I'm positive that I'm not going to need it."

Oliver laughed. "You know what I mean."

"It doesn't make any difference. The votes are already in, and tabulated. Thinking positive won't change who receives the award. I made the mistake once of thinking that I was a shoo-in for something, and then suffered severe depression when CMU rejected me. I won't ever let that happen again, if I can help it. I'm happy, and honored, that I was nominated, even if I don't get the award. It's not like other contests. People are constantly reminded who the runner-ups were while movie publicity people are on the job. And, I'm getting paid very well for doing something that I enjoy. I could easily forego all the publicity and honors. I consider it just part of the job. If I never had to give another interview, I'd be very content."

"You're wonderful. So many actors just want the publicity, honors, parties and fan adulation. By the way, how's the new picture going?"

"We've only just started rehearsals. It's too early to tell very much, but the script looks interesting. I don't think that it's the type of story that the Academy honors so I don't expect to get any nominations next year, unless something else comes along. How's your new show going? The critics have been supportive."

"It's been great. I still want you to do an episode with us. I hope that you have time this year."

"I'm available as soon as the new movie is done. Make the arrangements with Mr. Daniels."

"Great. I'll tell the production people. I'm looking forward to working with you again."

"Me too, it'll be like the old days, at least for a week."

We had been so busy talking that we hadn't noticed that we had pulled up to the ceremony until someone pulled open the door. The flashes started blitzing us with light even before we stepped out if the limo. We slowly made our way through the media people outside, stopping for brief interviews every ten feet, or so it seemed. As always, I was asked about my gown, and how I felt about my chances of winning. I praised Barbara, and remained non-committal about my chances. We were also asked if Oliver and I were an item since we were seen so often in each other's company. Only in Hollywood would five times in two years be considered 'often'.

Inside, I was an accepted member of this community by virtue of my movie roles, and especially the nominations. Although I wasn't personally acquainted with most, we behaved as though we were. I'd heard that that's the way that it is with celebrities and politicians.

Oliver and I moved slowly through the lobby until we reached the theatre entrance, where we were escorted to our seating. Our seats were with the others who had been nominated for awards for their contributions in 'The Moons of Kapatia'.

I exchanged greetings with each of the people that I had worked with, starting with Mr. Landois, who always greeted me as 'Princess'. The name had caught on with the entire cast while the movie was being made and everyone greeted me that way again today. We took our seats and chatted with the people around us for about a half-hour before the ceremonies started.

As always, the ceremonies were wonderful. It's such an honor to be there in person, which is only by invitation. As the awards were announced, 'Moons' received the awards for Music, Visual Effects, and Directing. The 'Best' acting awards were always the last to be announced, to maintain the excitement at the ceremony.

When they came to the 'Best Actress' award, they played the clips for each of the movies involved, while the cameras recorded the image of the actress. After the clips were done, they opened the envelope and announced that… someone else had won. I smiled and applauded as the winner went up on stage and accepted her award. She had done a wonderful job in her role and I knew that she deserved the award. I applauded again after her short acceptance speech.

Alec didn't win the award for his role in 'Open Spaces' and we shared a quick hug after the ceremonies were over. Everyone was commiserating with the people who didn't win. Some looked crushed, and other pretended not to care a bit, but there is always some effect after coming so close and not winning. The winners were the ones that garnered most of the attention on the way out.

Oliver and I left for Mr. Landois' home to attend the party that he was giving, once we finally managed to get to the limo. I had to head back to Vancouver tomorrow but my plane reservation was for five p.m. so I could sleep late. The party was in full swing when we arrived, despite the fact that Mr. Landois hadn't arrived yet. He was probably still giving interviews over his win.

Guests continued to arrive for the next couple of hours. I knew that this party would probably last until sunrise. Mr. Landois arrived about an hour after Oliver and I did. He quickly got into the festive spirit as he walked around carrying his award. He had done a wonderful job and he deserved all the recognition. I had learned, in my one directing job, how much work it really is.

Oliver and I stayed at the party until almost 2 in the morning. Some of the guests were getting quite 'tight' by then, and a little too familiar. Oliver and I had stuck to sparkling water for our beverages. We made the rounds, saying goodbye to everyone and congratulating the winners as we prepared to leave. Mr. Landois thanked me for helping to win him the award by being such a wonderful actress and we shared a hug before I left.

Back at the condo, Oliver walked me to the door, and we kissed. I wished him good luck with his show and he wished me good luck with my movie.

As I got ready for bed, I thought about how Oliver had become such a great friend. Unlike Brad, he didn't treat me like a girlfriend, but rather like a close, personal friend. I felt that I could tell him almost anything, and trust that it would never be repeated, but I still wasn't about to let him know my deepest secret.

*****

I slept late but got up in time to have a very late breakfast, while Mom ate an early lunch. She had watched the Awards ceremony on television and I filled her in on what I had seen and whom I had spoken with. I told her all about the party and the celebrities and industry people that I had met there.

She took me to the airport in the late afternoon to catch my flight to Vancouver. She would be coming up to join Mrs. McGuire and me in a week or so.

Elwood met me at the airport in Vancouver, drove me to the rented house, and carried my bags inside before leaving. He'd be back in the morning to take me to the studio.

There was a package waiting at the house for me. I opened it up and found copy of the novel, 'Weep for the Lonely Hearts'. Written inside the front cover was a note by the author. It said, 'Dear Miss Ramsey, I read in the paper that you hadn't read my book. I hope that you'll accept this copy and that you enjoy the story. Sincerely, Kate Winslaw'.

*****

We spent the rest of the week, and one more, rehearsing, before beginning to shoot film. The initial sequence of the movie showed me as the daughter of the mob 'Don' that would be killed. I rode in bulletproof limos to go shopping, and always had a squad of large men, with visible bulges under their jackets, no more than ten paces away. Wardrobe always had me dressed in the most feminine clothes possible. I had frequent wardrobe changes and always looked impeccable in very tight, sexy skirts and dresses, and shoes or boots with 4-inch heels. I knew that the director wanted to achieve a dramatic effect of stark contrast when I apparently wore the same dirty, male clothes day after day, once I went into hiding.

The scene where my movie father was killed was extremely disquieting. The set was made up to appear as though a bomb had gone off and there was blood everywhere. I became covered with the fake blood as I hugged and cried over my movie father's body. It took three takes to get the scene done to Mr. Dresen's satisfaction, and I had to clean up, change, and be made up again between each take. The fake blood was water-soluble so the clothes would be ready for the next day's shooting.

*****

When we began shooting the scenes where I had assumed the male identity, I had to arrive at the set much earlier than usual to be made up. I was fitted with a dark wig that almost gave me a 'greaser' look. A fake nose and more prominent chin were also applied to my face, along with bushy eyebrows, and beard stubble. At first everything was extremely annoying, but I slowly got used to them.

The worst part was when I had to wear male clothing. The jockey shorts were uncomfortable, perhaps in part because I had to wear a sock in my crotch, and the other clothes scratched. I couldn't wear my panties because the panty lines would be noticeable under the pants. My 36C breasts had to be strapped down using ace bandages, and a false body piece had to be worn to mask my tiny waist and help make my chest look flat. The combination of appliances was more uncomfortable than any corset I had ever worn.

My biggest problem came during our early dress rehearsals. Mr. Charles, the director, kept telling me that I didn't walk like a boy and proceeded to show me, repeatedly, how I should be standing and walking.

"Sweetheart, you're still walking much too much like a woman. No one is ever going to believe that you're a man. If you can't stop moving your arms, put your hands in your pockets. I want you to slouch more, and stop swinging your hips. Widen, and lengthen your steps. Remember, men have a very wide stance in order to avoid crushing their testicles with every step. Just pretend like someone is pinching the inside of your thighs with every step that isn't a wide one. And when you stand, show a little attitude, like you're just daring someone to get in your face so that you can 'kick their ass'. You're not our 'Princess' anymore; you're an out-of-work drifter. Got it?"

"Yes, Mr. Charles. I'll work on it."

"Okay, let's try that scene again."

We practiced over and over until Mr. Charles felt that I was doing it well enough to shoot some film. He said, "Well… I guess that it wouldn't be realistic for you to act exactly like a boy at first. The gradual change in your mannerisms might be better. Keep working on it though, and we'll have you acting like a boy in no time."

*****

Mom showed up about five weeks into the schedule. She was accompanied by a very tall, physically fit, man of about thirty-five. "Honey, this is Desmond. I hired him to act as your personal bodyguard. He'll never be very far away whenever you're off the estate. We also have a security team at the estate now. They'll protect the property when we're away, and us when we're there."

Desmond had rugged good looks, and you knew right off that he was not someone that you wanted to mess with. I estimated his height to be about 6'-5". He kept his light brown hair trimmed very short, and was clean-shaven.

"Hello, Desmond. I'm pleased to meet you."

In contrast to his rugged appearance, his voice was soft and pleasant. "The pleasure's mine, Miss Ramsey. I've enjoyed your movies very much and I'm happy to be working for you."

After that Des became like my shadow, an image that was further enhanced by the fact that he frequently wore black pants, a black turtleneck, and a black sports coat, or black leather coat. He stationed himself at my dressing room door when I was inside, and followed me around the studio during the day, but always at a discreet distance. At night he checked all the windows and doors after walking the grounds outside the rented house, and was always the first one up in the morning.

 

(continued in Chapter 59)

This episode is dedicated to Debbie Cybill, who passed away while convalescing following surgery to correct a blood flow problem. Debbie was one of my regular editors for this series and is responsible for having made it a more enjoyable story for my readers.

I want to express my grateful appreciation to Lynn Jennings, Kim Em, and Pax Vobiscum for their very helpful suggestions, and proofreading services.

 

 

 

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© 1999 by Crystal Sprite. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.
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