Chapter 35

Dinner was cooked and ready when we arrived home. I changed and then helped Carol set the table while Mom took the baked fish from the oven and dumped the cooked vegetables into serving dishes.

Over dinner, Mom and Carol told me what they had been doing during the past two days. They had spent their time going through the classified ads and buying furniture for the new condo. They had also purchased three new mattress sets since Mom would never buy a used mattress. Tomorrow would be our last day in this condo. The utilities and cable had been turned on in the new condo and we would move tomorrow so that Mom could turn the keys in for this unit.

We didn't start working until 9 o'clock the next morning. We enjoyed lazing about for a couple of hours on my first day of unemployment. My attire was very relaxed today, just jeans and a tee shirt plus tennis shoes. Because we didn't own any of the furniture, dishes, pots & pans, or towels and bed clothes, packing didn't take very long at all. We put the dirty laundry in to wash as we made a trip to the new condo with about half our things.

I was surprised to find that the bedrooms were already setup with beds and dressers. The furniture looked brand new even though Mom and Carol insisted that it was used. Mom was one heck of a shopper. My bedroom had a king-sized bed, a very large dresser and an Armoire, two nightstands, and a makeup table. All of the pieces were of a matching French Provincial look. Mom's bedroom had a contemporary golden oak design and Carol's bedroom was Early American Walnut.

I said, "Mom, I can’t believe that you did this all in just two days."

"I didn't really. I've been furniture hunting since we decided on this condo. I had put deposits on it and during the past two days we only had to go pick it up and bring it here. I found a Mexican handy man with a truck to do the hauling and we rented a bunch of moving blankets from one of those trailer rental businesses. We managed to get everything here with a minimum of scratches and shipping damages. The only thing that I haven't found yet is a nice living room set."

We didn't take time to unpack the boxes that we had brought, we just dropped them in our rooms and hurried back for another load. Back at the old condo we put the washing into the dryers and took another load to the new condo. When we arrived back, we only had to clean up and check for anything that we might have left. The clean bedclothes were folded and left on the beds so that the cleaning people would know that they were clean. When we were sure that we had removed all of our possessions, we left the key on the dining room table and left. The management office that rented the condo knew that we would be out today.

At the new condo we unpacked our things and put them away. We were done by two o'clock and took time out to make a late lunch. I learned that Mom and Carol had also stocked the cabinets and refrigerator with basic foodstuffs and cooking & eating utensils. After lunch we pulled the plastic wrapping off of the new mattresses and made the beds before we finished organizing our bedrooms and clothes.

At dinnertime we worked together in the small kitchen to prepare our meal. We began making notes on a shopping list whenever we needed something and realized that we didn't have it yet. As the dinner cooked, we sat at the dining room table that Mom had just purchased and talked about the condo.

I said, "I love this table Mom. It looks old but is in excellent condition."

"It was part of an estate auction. I was in the neighborhood to see a living room set and decided to stop at an auction house that I was passing while the auction was just beginning. Most of the stuff wasn't very good but this really caught my eye. It is beautiful, …and the price made it a steal. It has two leafs that extend it by an additional 36 inches. They're in the closet by the front door. With the leafs in place we can seat 12. "

Carol said, "But we only have 6 chairs."

Mom said, "That’s true, but we can pick up some more. I'll keep my eyes open for something that matches fairly well.

Carol said, "First we have to do something about the awful curtains in the bedrooms. They're functional, but so icky."

"We will. I wanted to make the condo at least habitable as quickly as possible so that we could stop paying rent. We have all of the basics and now we can work on the rest. The work in the kitchen is going to make a mess for a while but it's unavoidable. Now that we've moved in we have lots of time to care of the rest. Our final task to get the condo really functional is to find a living room set. Until then we have to sit on the floor to watch TV. Tomorrow we'll go through the paper and call about the ads if we see anything that sounds appealing."

"Do we have to? I thought that now that Crys isn't working we could relax a little."

"There will be plenty of time for relaxing once we have something to relax on. Sunday is the perfect day because so many people are home."

I sat through this whole conversation without saying a word. I was content to leave this job in Mom and Carol's hands. I had been thrust into the position of being the family's 'breadwinner', and I knew that it was important that they feel like they were contributing also. And they were. I couldn't have done the things that I had been doing without their complete support and help.

Over dinner we continued to talk about the moving in chores that had yet to be done and following the meal we cleaned up and then settled on the floor of the living room to watch some TV. We brought the pillows from our beds and several blankets to make comfortable resting spots on the floor. The cable system offered an onscreen program guide and we selected a movie that we could all agree on, then sat down and watched the TV that was also sitting on the floor. I felt myself getting drowsy near the end but I stuck it out until it was over before getting up to go to bed.

Because of the moving I hadn't worn the corset today, so I didn't need any help preparing for bed. I had gotten used to the bed in the old condo so I didn't feel comfortable at first, but weariness won out in the end and I fell asleep with a minimum of tossing and turning.

Compared to the full-sized beds that I had used up until now, the king-sized bed was enormous and I felt lost on its surface. I suffered a moment of confusion when I first woke up in the strange bedroom, but I realized where I was when my consciousness caught up with my awakening torso. I went into the bathroom and washed my face and hands before putting on my robe and going to the kitchen.

Mom was already up. She had awoken early and gone out for fresh milk, the Sunday papers, and a few doughnuts. Back home the primary donut franchises seemed to be Dunkin Donuts, but out here they were Winchell's. I joined Mom at the table and poured a cup of OJ to drink with my pills. I would forgo the donuts until after I had something a little more substantial. Mom was pouring through the classifieds with her felt tipped marker at the ready while I read through the Entertainment section. Every once in a while Mom would mumble to herself about the advertisements for available used furniture.

When Carol came out, I got up and started cooking some bacon. When that was done I cracked some eggs and put some bread in the toaster. Carol sat at the table reading the funnies while I cooked. That suited me because she would have to clean up by herself since she didn't help cook. Not that cleaning the breakfast dishes was a major problem. Once the egg was cleaned off the plates and silverware, the dishes would simply get put into the dishwasher.

Everybody stopped reading while we ate, and then resumed when we were done. I found a mention of the show cancellation in the paper. This was the first Sunday paper since the news broke so it was logical that it be announced there even though it was old news in this town by now. The writer was very kind to us, describing the show as a pleasant half-hour of entertainment whose ratings had been improving over the past couple of weeks. It named Oliver, myself, and the other key cast members, plus Mr. Landois and Walt Goldman the head writer. I prepared to cut it out to add to my scrapbook. As soon as I started to use the scissors both Mom and Carol asked what it was so I read it to them.

Mom said, "That's nice. It might stir some interest to watch the last two shows that you did. It certainly won't hurt in your job search."

"I wonder if the agency has had any real prospects."

"They said that they were pursuing some leads."

"Yeah, but that sounds like a standard response."

"It might be. I'm sure that we'll be hearing from them soon. Mr. Daniels is anxious to get you some exposure on the talk shows."

"I'm not going to hold my breath. I'm just going to relax for a few days before I even think about it. Maybe I'll get in a little swimming. Isn't the pool supposed to be heated?"

"Yes, but it probably doesn't even need it with the warm weather that they have out here. We also have a Jacuzzi."

"What's that?"

"It's a very warm whirlpool type of bathtub that accommodates about 8 people. It's inside the small glass building next to pool. In the summer the glass panels are opened up so that it's like being outside. In the fall they close the panels to hold in the heat. We also have a small steam room in the back half of the Jacuzzi building."

Carol jumped up saying, "I almost forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"You'll see. I'll be right back," she said as she hurried off to her bedroom.

She returned carrying a very small paper bag that she handed to me.

"What is it, " I said.

"Open it and see."

I opened the bag and looked in. It appeared to hold a piece of fabric. I turned the bag over and dumped it into my hand. I realized that there were two or three small pieces. Putting the bag down I held up the fabric and suddenly realized that it was a tiny bikini.

"A bikini?"

"Yup. I picked it up the other day while Mom and I were shopping for bedding. We passed the rack on our way to the linens department and I had to stop. I got one for each of us. Different designs of course."

"But it's so small. Thanks for the thought but I can't wear this."

"Why can't you wear it?"

"Because it's so small. I might as well not be wearing anything. It shows every line, pimple, and wrinkle."

"That's the idea. Besides Sis, you don't have anything left to hide anymore. That's why you don't have to wear the panty-girdle any more. You look just like any other young woman now. Just try it on, okay?"

I hesitated for a minute, then got up and went into my bedroom. I took off my robe, nightgown, and panties. It took me several seconds to orient the bikini pieces so that I could put them on. The bottom piece had strings that tied on my hips to hold it up. The top piece was just two pieces of material that partially covered my breasts, with a string that tied around my chest while another fit around my neck to hold up the top.

I stepped in front of the mirror to adjust the suit and smiled at the reflection. Carol was right. I had nothing to fear about being seen in this suit. The bottom looked just like it should for any girl. I ran my hand over the material and felt the place where the material curved smoothly under me without the slightest indication of my former gender. I may not be a real girl, but you couldn't tell by looking at me. With my 'sexual plumbing' useless, and sealed up inside of me like a woman's plumbing, I certainly wasn't a boy anymore. I sheepishly walked back to the dining room.

Carol said, "Crys, it looks wonderful. What do YOU think?"

"You're right. It looks fine. I don't have to worry about anybody seeing me, I guess."

Mom said, "Honey, it looks wonderful, and your tan could use a little work. Why don’t you both get some sun while I make some phone calls? After lunch we'll go look at living room sets."

So Carol and I wound up cleaning the breakfast dishes together. I pitched in even though I didn't have to and we finished in only a few minutes. Then she changed and got ready to walk to the pool while I brushed my hair.

The gate was locked but we had received pool area keys at the closing. We had our hands filled with towels, sun hats, suntan lotion, and bottled water but we managed to open the gate. There wasn't anybody in or around the pool this early, so we selected a couple of reclining deck chairs and laid down to catch some rays after putting on some lotion. Since we had just eaten, we would have to wait an hour before going into the water, so we enjoyed the warm morning sun for that long before even checking the pool water temperature. When we knew that it was safe to go swimming we eased into the warm water and swam a few easy laps. It was wonderful to be in the water again. This was the first time that I had been able to go swimming since we had closed up the lake house for the winter.

We had been in the water for about ten minutes when 2 young guys came into the pool area. They both appeared to be in their early twenties, but that's where the similarities ended. One was a big, rugged, 'lumberjack' type, while the other was small and thin with a 'pretty' face. They dropped their towels on a couple of chairs and dove into the pool. Once in the water they swam directly over to where Carol and I were holding onto the edge of the pool.

One of them, the 'lumberjack', said to us, "Hi, I'm Chet. You're both new here aren't you? Visiting or just move in?"

Carol responded with, "I'm Carol and this is Crys. We just moved in yesterday. Do you live here?"

"Yeah, Bud and I rent one of the condos. We can see the pool from our apartment and were surprised to see you in here. Nobody in this complex ever comes in here before noon. You'd think that it was against the rules or something. We're in B-15, where do you live?"

"How come," Carol said, "nobody ever comes in before noon. Does everybody here sleep in every day?"

"I guess. There're a lot of show biz types here. No big names. Just the army of supporting TV and movie actors, nightclub singers, musicians, and crew people. Bud's a grip and I'm a special effects tech. Are your folks in the biz?"

"No. Mom works for a school district. Dad's back in Ohio. He's works for a tire manufacturer."

"Hmm. It's unusual to actually meet someone in this area who doesn't have any connection to show business. Even the folks who work regular jobs outside the industry are just biding their time until they get their big break."

"I didn't say that we didn't have any connection to show business. Crys has done a little acting."

Chet looked at my face closely for the first time. Until now he had mostly been concentrating on my boobs which were barely covered by the miniature patches of fabric. "Yeah, you look familiar. Say, were you one of the dancers in that NBC special last weekend?"

Bud suddenly spoke up with, "No! I know you! You're married to that Oliver guy. You were the one that had the para-gliding accident and didn't come back until a couple of weeks ago."

Chet said, "Really? Is that you?"

I nodded.

"What are you doing living here? I thought that the stars mostly all live up in the canyons."

I said, "I'm not a star. I'm not even employed anymore. The show has been cancelled and I finished my last show on Friday. I'm just another out of work actor now. Hardly an unusual situation around here from what I understand."

Bud said, "Not unusual, but you're the closest thing to a star living in this complex. You're the co-star on a currently running series. At least for a few more weeks. Any future prospects?"

"No. Not yet. Any recommendations?"

"You probably have an agent, right?"

"Yes. Paul Daniels of Daniels & Lewis."

Bud's eyes got wider. "Whoa. How long have you been in the biz?"

"About 4 months."

"4 months…? And you have Paul Daniels for an agent. I'm impressed. How did you swing that?"

I gave them the short version of being seen by Mr. Daniels when I was in the play back home, and then being signed right away."

"That was some lucky break," Chet said. "One in a million, in fact." Smiling, he added, "Could you pick this week's lottery numbers for me."

Carol said in an irritated tone, "Are you implying that Crys didn't deserve it?"

Chet got a surprised look on his face. "No, no, not at all. There are thousands of good actors and actresses who will never get a break like that. Crys was very lucky, but if she wasn't talented she wouldn't be co-starring in a series. Luck and looks only get you in the door, it takes talent to keep you there."

Bud said, "Most out of work actors spend a lot time making the rounds to the casting calls. They'll pick up a job here and there while they're waiting for their big break. Some finally give up and get regular jobs, and some give up and get studio jobs like Bud and myself. Anyone with an agent like yours just relaxes and waits for the phone to ring."

"Were you both actors?"

Chet said. "Bud was. I never got the bug, and I don't really have the looks for it. I just wanted to blow things up. I love my FX work."

I said, "I always get a kick out of the special effects. Has a car ever gone over a cliff without blowing up in mid air?"

"Not in Hollywood. At least not in the last 30 years. The explosions mask the fact that most of them are miniatures. Miniatures don't crash like a real car would. If you blow it up before it crashes then you eliminate that problem. And I don't want to minimize the effect of the explosion. Everybody loves a good fireworks display."

We took advantage of a lull in the conversation to climb out of the pool. Chet and Bud followed us back to our chairs and continued to talk with us as we dried ourselves off with our towels. They both entertained us with stories of the movies and shows that they had worked on. We didn't realize how much time had passed until Mom came out to get us.

As Mom returned to the condo, Carol and I gathered our things. We said good-bye to Bud and Chet, but they seemed unwilling to leave us, following us out of the pool area as we walked towards the buildings. We finally had to stop and firmly explain that we had to go, and that we would see them another day. They reluctantly said good-bye and returned to the pool area as we continued on to the condo.

Mom made some sandwiches as Carol and I got dressed. She was plotting out the addresses of the houses that we would be visiting this afternoon, on a street map. We embarked on our shopping adventure right after we had cleaned the kitchen. We weren't impressed with anything that we saw at the first three homes, but we struck gold at the fourth. The living-room set consisted of an oversized sofa, loveseat, two chairs, coffee table, and three end tables. All of the furniture looked to be brand new. The owner, Mrs. Vincent, explained that she had only purchased the contemporary set several months earlier, but had tired of the look and decided to redo the room in an early American motif. She said that she had been advertising it for three weeks but hadn't had any interest. With her new furniture arriving in two days, she had cut the price in half for today's paper. We were the first to call although several people were coming later this afternoon. At the reduced price, it was selling for a fraction of what it would be new. After sitting on each of the pieces and examining everything, Mom told Mrs. Vincent that we would take it.

With Mom having made her decision, Mrs. Vincent invited us to have a cup of tea with her and led the way to her dining room. She wrote out a receipt while Mom wrote out a check, and her cook prepared the pot of tea.

Mom said to Mrs. Vincent, "When would it be convenient to pick up the set, Mrs. Vincent?"

"The new set is arriving on Tuesday. If you like, I could have the deliverymen bring it to you. The store told me that they would move the old set anywhere in a ten mile radius for $50.00."

"That would be more convenient than my making separate arrangements. Shall I give you another check for the amount."

"Make it payable to Danforth's Fine Furniture. I've already paid for the new set, so I'll just give it to the deliverymen when they come. They'll do a good job of moving your set. They always do."

"You've used them before for moving old sets?"

"Oh, yes. I get a new set every two years, unless I tire of it sooner. This was my first contemporary set. The salesman talked me into it but I haven't been happy with it. It's very well made, but it just didn't look right in my home, mixed in with my antiques."

"I think that it will look wonderful in our new condo. We don't have any beautiful antiques such as yours, so it won't conflict."

"Are you new to this area?" Mrs. Vincent asked.

"Yes. We're from the mid-west. We've come out here for my daughter's acting career."

Mrs. Vincent looked at both Carol and myself. "They're both lovely. I wish them both success. It will be difficult to break into the business though. I came here twenty-two years ago from Pennsylvania, with stars in my eyes. I never made it any further than a lot of 'extra' parts and a few small, supporting roles in a several productions. I gave up my career when I met my husband on the set of the last picture that I was in. He was an assistant to the director at that time." She smiled as she reminisced. "Our combined salaries barely paid the mortgage and food bills at that time, but Peter has done well and we live very comfortably now. Have your girls landed any parts yet?"

"Crystal is the actress in the family, " Mom said. She just completed work in 'Oliver On Board'. I'm afraid that the series was cancelled in mid-season. She appeared in the series premier, and then was brought back in an attempt to save the show. A little too late I'm sorry to say."

"Save the show? That's a bit difficult for a supporting role."

"Crystal was the co-star in the original episode. She had only been hired for the first episode because she was supposed to disappear at the end of the first show. The show got wonderful reviews the first week but sank quickly after that. They brought Crystal back a month ago to try to boost the sagging ratings. The show did very well with her return, but the network cancelled it after broadcasting only one new episode. They said that the decision had been made before the broadcast and that one week of good ratings did not make a trend."

"That's terrible." Shaking her head, Mrs. Vincent added, "What a business we're involved with. Still, it appears that she has already cracked through the first barrier. Becoming a co-star in a series while still so young is a great accomplishment, Crystal. What are your plans now?"

I spoke for the first time since we had exchanged greetings at the front door. "I don't have any plans, Mrs. Vincent. I'm relying on my agent to find something for me."

"Oh, dear. You can't do that. You have to get out and look for yourself. You have to make yourself known, and make it known that you're available. I may not be a great actress myself, but I know a little bit about how things work. Who is your agent?"

Mom said, "Paul Daniels of Daniels and Lewis."

"Well, " Mrs. Vincent replied, "you certainly have one of the best. If you're going to rely on an agent, Paul is the one to rely on."

Mom said, "That's what everyone tells us. The agency has been wonderful to us. They are responsible for Crystal getting her first job here."

Mom went on to tell Mrs. Vincent about my role in the play at the Community Theatre, about Mr. Daniels coming to see me in the play, and his signing me up following that. She explained about our first visit to California and the videotape that I made, and about the job offer that came from that.

We continued to talk about my entry into show business and my possible career paths for another hour. Two more people had shown up to see the living room set but were turned away by the cook with the explanation that it was sold. As dinnertime neared, we prepared to leave Mrs. Vincent's home.

Just before we departed, Mrs. Vincent said, "Ladies, it's been a pleasure having you in my home this afternoon. Crystal, I'm going to mention you to my husband. I can't promise anything though, except that he'll know your name. Good luck with your career."

I thanked her and we left.

The following morning we received a call from the agency. They had arranged a couple of guest appearances on talk shows. They had also offered my services to tape several promotional spots for non-profit organizations. All of this was intended to get my name and face more recognizable. Both of the talk shows were scheduled for Wednesday; one at 11 am and the other at 3 p.m. The promo spots would all be shot by the same ad agency on Friday. Carol and I spent the rest of the day catching up on our studies and then hanging out at the pool.

Late Tuesday morning the living-room furniture arrived. Mom kept us busy for almost an hour, moving it around after the deliverymen had gone. We were finally allowed to relax after trying it in every conceivable layout. With the addition of the living room set, the condo had finally started to take on a homey atmosphere.

On Wednesday we drove to the studio where the first talk show was being taped. Mom had selected an outfit for me that left little to the imagination. The dress fit me like a second skin, and I was wearing 4 and a half-inch heels. We had visited the hair salon late yesterday where I had had the works.

I waited with the other two guests after going to make-up. A production assistant had discussed with me the topics that would be discussed so that I could be prepared. The crew was very somber, but the host was friendly enough even though he stared at me lecherously during the entire interview. Fortunately, the interview lasted for less than 10 minutes. There was no audience so it was impossible to gauge how it went, but the producer seemed happy enough.

When the show was over and we had sat around long enough for the credits to roll, I got up to leave. The host practically jumped over his desk to escort me back to makeup. On the way he told me that he had been extremely impressed with my on air presence and asked if I would like to attend a party at his house on Saturday night. I told him that I was unsure if I could make it because I already had a commitment for Saturday afternoon. He told a production assistant to give me his address and then walked off to his dressing room after kissing my hand. The production assistant grimaced at his back and then wrote down his home address.

Mom and Carol were waiting for me when I was ready to leave. We stopped for a light lunch on the way to the other studio. Carol, who had been watching a monitor during the taping, said, "Wow Crys, that went great. Were you nervous? You didn't look it."

"I'm always nervous when I'm on stage or television. The butterflies in my stomach are starting to quiet down now, though. I've been invited to a party at the host's house on Saturday night."

Mom looked at me sharply. "And you said what?"

I smiled and said, "No, I didn't say 'what'. I said that I had a previous commitment for Saturday afternoon and might not be able to make it."

Mom gave me a 'look' for poking fun at her statement while Carol giggled. Then Mom said, "I'm glad that you put him off and did it politely. I would guess that the party was just for two."

"No, I think that there’s genuinely a party. I just didn't like the way that he looked at me all through the interview, like I was a prime rib dinner and he was a starving man."

"It's just as well that you don't want to go because I wouldn't have let you anyway. We've all heard the stories about the parties out here. Booze, drugs, and sex. And you are still only 16, young lady. The only parties that I will allow you attend at a show biz person's house are ones that Mr. Daniels recommends, or that are charity events."

Carol said, "It's been nice having the warm weather and all, but it's starting to get boring. I miss my friends."

"I know that it's difficult but let's not lose sight of our reason for being here. We sacrifice now so that you can both go college later. It'll be worth it in the long run."

It was getting late so we hurried through the rest of our meal and left for the next studio appointment. The difference between this set and the last one was like the difference between night and day. The show's host, Harold Martin, was running around everywhere greeting people and telling jokes. The crew was laughing and joking around as well and everyone seemed to enjoy being here. One of the production assistants showed me the way to makeup while Mom and Carol hung around behind the set. I could hear the audience being let into the seating area.

On the monitor in the makeup room I could see the warm-up person greeting the crowd. I asked the production assistant if he had the questions that I would be asked.

He said, "Everything is non-scripted except the commercials. That's the way that Harold likes it. He can't operate in a structured format. Just be prepared for anything, and don't worry because Harold won't make you look foolish."

The production assistant was right. Harold was nuts… but he really got the crowd into things. When I was introduced he ran to the entrance and escorted me back to the guest chair next to his desk. He made a few comments about how hot I looked, however he wasn't looking at me in a lecherous manner. Never the less he made me blush. Then he switched on the charm and made me feel good about being there, commiserating with me about the series being cancelled. When I responded to his question about my prospects by saying that I didn't have anything lined up, he launched into a pitch on my behalf to any casting agent that might be watching. He told them to tune in to 'Oliver' tonight to see me in action.

When my interview was over, I moved onto the couch with Harold's announcer/warm-up man while the next guest was brought out. I just sat there with my legs tightly crossed as I smiled and giggled at the antics of Harold and the next guest, who was just as crazy as Harold. After him there was one more guest and the crazy one moved over and sat next to me. The crazy guest continued to make a fool of himself as he sat next to me. I remembered Mom telling me about how getting the laugh is all-important to a comedian. I couldn't believe how quickly the hour went. It seemed like I had just arrived when the director gave the final motion to signal that we were off the air. The funnyman next to me grew immediately quiet, but Harold continued his antics as the audience was thanked for coming and a few began to file out of the studio. Many of them waited as Harold signed autographs. The announcer/warm-up man asked if we could sign a few also, so the other guests and myself joined Harold in the audience seating area and signed autographs for anyone who wanted them.

Several people told me how much they had enjoyed the episodes of Oliver On Board that I was on. I smiled at them and thanked them as I signed their books. When everyone had gotten their signatures the studio security cleared the room of audience members. I spent a few more minutes with Harold and thanked him for the interview before I went looking for Mom and Carol. Harold had told me to let him know how I made out and to come back again anytime. I think that he was genuine in his interest and invitation.

On the way back to our condo we stopped and picked up the groceries that we would need for our Thanksgiving Day meal. We would spend the rest of the day preparing the pies, stuffing, and vegetables that we would enjoy at our noon meal the next day. Just after supper, Mom called Jill Stassbery to invite her over for Thanksgiving dinner. I expected that Jill would have already had plans, but to my surprise she accepted.

On Thursday morning we got up early and started working. The turkey was the first priority. It had to be washed, cleaned of any remaining feather stubs, and filled with the stuffing that we had prepared last night. As soon as it was in the oven, we sat down to eat breakfast before working on the mushrooms, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, onions, and broccoli that constituted the remainder of our traditional meal.

Jill arrived promptly at 1 p.m. We cheek kissed and thanked her for the fruit basket that she brought. The turkey had just finished cooking and we began to make the gravy. By 1:30 the turkey was sliced, and everything had been put into serving dishes and placed on the table. We had put both leafs into the table to make sure that we would have enough room for everything. We said grace and dug in. I wasn't wearing the corset, but I took care not to eat more than I would have if I had been wearing it. There was a lot more work for skinny actresses than for chunky ones.

I said to Jill, "I'm very glad that you could come today, Jill, but I was a little surprised that you didn't already have plans?"

"My family is all back East, and I broke it off with my boyfriend about two months ago. I was just going to make a frozen turkey dinner and work on my story. My frozen dinner sure wouldn't compare to this wonderful spread."

Mom said, "We're happy that you could come. This might be the last time that we see you for a while."

Both Carol and I looked at Mom in surprise. This was the first that we had heard about this.

"What do you mean?" Jill said. "You're leaving?"

"Since Crystal doesn't have any work, or any prospects, we might as well return home until something comes up."

"But you have to be HERE to land a good job. Crystal was just plain lucky to get the job in the series while you were still living in the mid-west. By being here you're able to go on interviews and attend events that will keep Crystal in the public's eye."

"This isn't our home and the girls are getting bored without their friends. If something comes up, we're only a few hours away. After all, we bought this condo so that we have a place to stay on a moment's notice. The girls have to get back so that they can finish up the school semester anyway."

"I'm sorry to see you leave but I understand. I hope that you'll be back real soon."

"So do I. The agency will keep looking for something suitable for Crystal."

I said, "When are we leaving Mom?"

I guess that we can go on Saturday unless something comes up. You have the two ads to do on Friday and then we're done here."

Jill said, "What ads? Did you land a job doing commercials?"

"No," I said, "just a few free public service spots for non-profit organizations."

"It's still good exposure. I heard about your talk show appearance yesterday. I didn't see it but I was told that it went well."

"It was fun. I also did a taped show with Ernie Davis. It won't run until next week though. That wasn't as much fun."

"I've heard that before, but his shows get acceptable reviews. So go figure."

Carol said, "I was watching the monitor backstage. I thought that the interview went fine. Crys is just bummed because the guy was leering at her for the whole thing."

Jill smiled. "If that's all that's bothering you, then you're going to have to get used to it. Guys leer at beautiful young girls, and you're in a business where being leered at is a statement of your marketability. Don't resent it, use it. And remember, you're only selling your image, not yourself. There is no shame in selling your image."

Mom said, "As you say, Crystal hasn't done anything to be ashamed of. Quite the contrary, because she has brought enjoyment into the lives of the people who have seen her performances. That's something to be proud of." Mom continued with, "Who's ready for pumpkin pie?"

We cleaned off the table and put away the leftovers before making a pot of tea and cutting into the pies. Jill stayed with us until around 9 p.m. We said our good-byes because we didn't know when or if we would see each other again.

On Friday we drove to the ad agency and taped the promo spots that I was doing for free. With that done, we returned to the condo and spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool. There would be little warm sun and no outdoor swimming once we got home. The temperatures back there were currently hovering around the freezing point.

On Saturday morning we finished our packing. Because this was our house now, we left a lot of our personal things so that there would be less to carry in the future. After making sure that the condo was secure, we left for the airport. Mom had made sure that the management office had all of our contact numbers back home. As we drove to the airport I wondered if I would ever be back here to work. I had not received any offers, or even any interviews for work, since the series had ended. The annals of Hollywood were filled with stories of actors who made a quick splash and then faded into obscurity just as quickly. I hoped that that would not be the case with me just yet. We still didn't have the money that we needed for our college educations. In fact, we didn't have very much more now than when we had come out. Most the money that I had earned had gone into buying and furnishing the condo and for the procedure that I had had from Dr. Roman.

'The procedure', I thought. It could almost be said that I was returning home with less that I had come with. The blank area between my legs was evidence of my commitment to my goals. I would hate to think that losing my manhood, albeit small, was a wasted effort. I could now stand naked in the gym showers with other girls and not have the slightest alarm raised; but the price I was paying was that I could never became aroused, sexually. Mom had filled a large prescription order for my pills before we left. The more that I thought about it, the most depressed that I became.

Before I started to cry, I decided to concentrate on the positive. So I began to think about being back with friends. I hadn't seen Debbie in 3 months. I promised myself that we would get together soon. I had spoken with her once each week since we had come to California and was really looking forward to being near her again. Maybe 'Michael' and I would go out again?

 

(continued in Chapter 36)

 

 

 

*********************************************
© 1999 by Crystal Sprite. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.
Anyone wishing to make comments is welcome to e-mail me at crystal@storysite.org