Chapter 34

Without the corset, I slept better than I had in months. I woke up feeling fresh and alert but I was reminded of the surgical procedure as soon as I started to get out of bed. The pain seemed to have lessened a bit, though. I used the toilet, and had to rinse my hand before washing my hands and face in my usual fashion. The sun was just coming up as I went to the kitchen and started to make breakfast. Mom and Carol came out of their bedrooms at almost the same time. I poured all of the omelet mix that I had been mixing into the large frying pan to make one large omelet. As it cooked I handed the OJ to Carol and the tea to Mom. They sat down at the table while I dished up the omelet and cut it into three pieces. Then I carried it, and the breakfast sausages that I had cooked, to the table and sat down.

Before I ate, Mom gave me two capsules to swallow. They were the new medication that had been prescribed by Dr. Roman. I let them slide down my throat with a gulp of OJ and turned my attention to my piece of the omelet. Mom had gone through the yellow pages and found a tanning salon that was both close and had extended hours, including Sundays. After we had cleaned the breakfast dishes, bathed, and dressed, we headed for the salon.

I couldn't very well wear the corset today since we were going to the tanning salon, but I hadn't planned to wear it anyway. Tomorrow would be soon enough to get back to my normal attire and it felt so wonderful to be free for another day. I was wearing a simple denim skirt and print blouse. I wouldn't even have worn stockings if my legs hadn't been so white. I had to borrow a garter belt from Carol since my stockings were usually held by the garter tabs that hung from the corset. Instead of heels, Mom gave me a pair of flats to wear, which actually took a while to get used to because I wore heels so much of the time.

It was a bright beautiful day outside and the temperature was about 70 degrees. Using our street guide we quickly found the salon and saw that it was indeed open for business. We learned, upon walking inside, that we were the only customers at this early hour on this Sunday. The young salon attendant greeted us enthusiastically and showed us to a private room that had four tanning beds.

We disrobed and each climbed onto one of the machine. The operator had given us special goggles that protected our eyes from the damaging effects of the intense lamps. When we were lying comfortably on the beds, she set the controls and left the room. I felt the heat as the lamps began to cover my body with ultraviolet rays. After a short time, the bed automatically shut off and the operator returned. After we turned over, she restarted the machines and we were 'cooked' on the other side.

When our time was up, the operator returned. We got up and dressed to leave, not showing any signs of the tan that was developing in our bodies. Mom paid for our visit and we left the salon. Using the street map, we found our way to the highway that would take us through Thousand Oaks, Oxnard, and Ventura, to the coast highway, Route 1. It was such a nice day that I wished that we had a convertible instead of the hardtop.

The views along the highway were magnificent. I couldn't get enough of looking at the ocean and the pounding surf. I began to wish that we had a house in this area instead of the congest condo area that we were in. We rode for more than two hours before stopping at a diner along the highway to have lunch. They had picnic tables outside where we could eat and look at the ocean. The view was much better than the food, which left much to be desired. In spite of that we sat there for almost an hour. We had no place to be so we took advantage of the nice day and took our time enjoying the view, as opposed to the meal.

After lunch we turned around and drove back part way before heading inland to explore the cities and towns. We took a very circuitous route back home, and arrived back at the condo just after 5 o'clock. After dinner we were back in the car again, on our way to visit Marge's friend Muriel.

Muriel was a hairdresser for one of the studios, and a makeup professional by training. A very pleasant middle-aged woman, divorced for the third time, and still looking for Mr. Right, she welcomed us into her home as if she had known us all of her life. We enjoyed a cup of tea and shared stories about Marge before I removed my blouse so that she could look examine the breast forms.

Muriel said, "I see that Marge hasn't lost her touch. Without touching them, it's almost impossible to tell that they're false. The only giveaway is the nipple's unchanging appearance. I think that this size is a little bit too large for your frame though."

Mom said, "This was the only size available at the theatre when they were first affixed, and that was before Crystal's own breasts began to blossom. We have ordered a smaller size for when the next change is due."

"I'll be happy to help you with that too, if you are still out here."

"Thank you, Muriel. We'll probably have to see you several times before then to keep the color of the breasts consistent with Crystal's skin color as her tan develops. Crystal has been fortunate that she hasn't needed a tan before now. She was supposed to have been on a deserted island for a couple of weeks and the makeup people at the studio have been using an awful orange skin coloring to simulate sun-burned skin. Because she is so white, they have chosen clothes that cover as much as possible, and they've used a body double for the more revealing scenes."

"A nice tan will make Crystal look like a typical California teenager. I'll blend the color so that no one will ever know your secret. For today I'll just add a little so that the contrast won't be so stark."

Muriel worked on me for about twenty minutes. Strangely I didn't suffer the same sensations that I had experienced in previous times where someone had handled the breasts. I wondered if it was the medication that Dr. Roman had prescribed. He had told me that the medication would prevent complications from sexual arousal. If you can't get aroused then there can be no complications. When Muriel was finished, my breasts appeared to have a subdued tan while my skin was just beginning to get a pink hue.

Muriel said, "We'll adjust it again in a couple of days. Why don't you come over Wednesday night?"

We agreed to come back on Wednesday, and then left after spending another ten minutes in conversation. I wanted to get back to the condo so that I could start working on the new script. I had ignored it all weekend, but I would have to be familiar with my lines tomorrow even though they would change somewhat in the cast meetings.

While Mom and Carol sat down to watch a movie, I went to my room and began working on the script. I continued to study and practice my lines in front of my mirror until it was time to go to bed. I spent another comfortable night in bed, without the corset. I didn't even want to think about getting dressed in the morning.

Getting dressed following my bath in the morning was as bad as I had anticipated. I was back to wearing the corset because I couldn't fit into my clothes without it, but I was able to forgo the panty girdle, however, and that made things more endurable. Even the skin-tight skirt seemed more comfortable than usual. However, I knew that it would do nothing to lessen the cramps that I would feel in my feet after 10 hours in the 4-inch heels.

After arriving at the set, Toni came to visit for this week's fitting. Mom had dropped me off and then left to run some errands. Carol had decided to sleep in today. It was pretty boring to just hang around all day waiting for me. Toni noticed my change immediately after we started and said simply, "Did you visit Dr. Roman?"

"Yes, on Saturday."

She nodded slowly. "I see that you're getting a little darker also. Must have done a little sunning this weekend?"

"We went to a tanning salon to get a little color. Mom wants us to look a little more like Californians. I'm afraid that we are white by comparison. Carol was the darkest, but her tan was starting to fade since the weather turned cold back home."

Toni smiled, "It will mean less makeup work if you have a tan, and that means less cleaning problems for wardrobe. I'm in favor."

I was called for the cast meeting, as we were finishing up. Toni took the clothes to do the alterations while I grabbed my script and hurried to the meeting room. I met Oliver, who was also headed there, so we walked to the meeting together. About halfway there, Oliver took my hand and held onto it until we entered the conference room. About half of the cast was already there and the rest came in during the next several minutes. The writers were the last to arrive, entering as a group. They immediately began to hand out new scripts to everyone.

The head writer, Walt Goldman, said, "Sorry to spring this on you. We received orders to change this week's script on Friday night. We worked all weekend to prepare these.

Oliver said, "What's the deal? Why the last minute change?"

"Orders from upstairs. We only do what we're told. Shall we get to it?"

We began the cold read and it quickly became obvious that something major was happening to the show. I didn't realize until we were almost at the end that I was being written out of the show. The writer's had me packing to leave for an extended period to care of a seriously ill grandmother.

Oliver realized it too and shouted loudly, "What is this shit? Crystal is being written out of the show?" Looking at Walt, he said, "Whose decision is this?"

"I got orders from Bill Wittier."

Bill Wittier was the producer for 'Oliver On Board' and had always attended the cast readings since I had been there. Today, his chair had sat vacant.

Oliver stood up and said, "I'm going to see about this right now. Crystal, you come also." He held out his hand for me.

I felt confused and wasn't sure what to do. I wished that Mom was here. Oliver continued to stand there with his hand out so I caved in, stood up, and then let him take my hand and lead me from the room. He led me through a labyrinth of offices until we reached the executive offices area. He was angry and taking long strides so I had to run to keep up because my tight skirt made me take three or four steps for each one of his. My 4-inch heels made it even worse and I was bobbing along like a cork on water.

Mr. Wittier's secretary saw us come in and said, "You may go right in, Mr. Addams."

I was pulled along behind Oliver as we entered Mr. Wittier's office. He was at his desk and stood up as we came in.

Oliver spoke first saying, "What the hell is going on. We get solidly back in the ratings and you want to let Crystal go?"

Mr. Wittier said in a calming voice, "Have a seat, kids. I'll explain."

We sat down in the chairs that he indicated, and he sat back down.

"I'm sorry to have you learn this way. I just got off of the phone with the network again. They're pulling the plug and they refuse to relent. I had the writers put together the new script but I was hoping that we wouldn't have to use it. I'm sick about this. You're absolutely right. We had a solid rating for last week's show. The network argues that we've been at the bottom of the ratings for most of the new season and that it's too late. They say that the decision was basically made weeks ago, but they wanted to line up a good replacement before the announcement could be made. They say that one week of good ratings doesn't make a trend. We still have two more completed shows to broadcast, and we'll have another after this week's taping. There's always a chance that we can be called back next season if the viewer's want it, but as it stands right now, this is the last week of shooting with the full cast. We're going to rework the episodes that were already shot, but not broadcast, and then that's that."

Oliver was too stunned to react at first. He had come here to fight for my job, and now he found out that his was gone as well. He was devastated. After last week's ratings everyone's spirit had been buoyed by the expectation that the series would not be cancelled. It was difficult to have your hopes raised only to see them dashed on the rocks.

Oliver stood up and looked at Mr. Wittier. "I guess that's that then. Well… we have a show to do. And it will be the best show of the series." He held out his hand to me and I stood up and took it. We left Mr. Wittier's office without any further conversation.

Oliver was quiet as we walked back to the meeting room. Everyone was still there, but they had moved on with the reading. When we entered they stopped and looked at us expectantly. We didn't say a word, but they must have read the glum expressions on Oliver's and my face.

Jerry Stevensen, one of the cast members said, "Well, give. What's up?"

Oliver said, "It's all over. The show has been cancelled. This is the last episode, and then they're going to re-shoot parts of the ones that didn't get broadcast before. The ones without Crystal in them. I'm not sure who will be needed. I was too depressed to ask."

The writers were looking everywhere but at the cast members. It was obvious that they knew about the cancellation before the meeting started, but it was not their job to break such unpleasant news. If they had been around for a while and had formed closer relationships with the cast members, then at least one of them would have leaked it as soon as they knew. They might have even been under strict orders not to say anything until it was definite.

The announcement caused another eruption of emotion in the room. It seemed as if everyone was talking and no one was listening. Mr. Landois allowed everyone to vent their feelings before calling for quiet.

He said, "We all knew that this was a possibility given the poor ratings that we received. We may have been fooling ourselves to think that we could turn it around in time to avoid it, but the three shows that we have done since Walt Goldman and his staff have taken over the writing duties have been wonderful. Their writing, and your performances, has been unparalleled. As soon as the announcement about the cancellation is made, we'll be under the microscope by the critics, so let's make this last show memorable. Let's make them wonder how the network could be so foolish as to cancel a wonderful show like ours. Let's shove that cancellation notice right up the network's… nose."

At this point in any old movie, the group would jump up and raise a chorus of voices in agreement with the proposal voiced by Mr. Landois. But this wasn't a movie. The cast just continued to sit there in silence, thinking about the effects of the cancellation on their lives and careers.

We sat in somber silence for a couple of minutes until Mr. Landois said, "Okay, enough self pity. Let's take it from the top. Oliver, your line please."

Oliver flipped the pages of his script back to the beginning and began to read his opening lines as we all turned back to that page also. The somber mood broke slightly as we got involved with the script and seemed to have disappeared almost completely by the time that we broke for lunch.

I walked back to my dressing room with Oliver. He told me at my door that he would see me at the afternoon meeting. He had to go call Daniels & Lewis to inform them of the cancellation so that they put us back on the market for other work. It saved me the effort of calling since we were represented by the same agency. Mom wasn't in my dressing room, so after using the bathroom I walked to the cafeteria.

None of the other cast members were in there so I got my food and sat down alone. I was feeling sad that the series was ending. I had been really hoping to get picked up for the rest of the season, but now there wouldn't be any more seasons. The only cheerful thought that I could come up with was that now we might be going home early and I could see Debbie again. Everything else seemed depressing. We were committed to buying a condo now, and I had had a surgical procedure in order to perpetuate the myth of my identity. Both actions would seriously drain the scholarship fund, and I hoped that what had been looked upon, as investments, would not turn out to be major errors in judgement. Even with real estate, which is usually a good investment, you have to keep it for a couple of years just to get your money back plus pay cover the costs of closing fees and improvements.

As I sat in my melancholy daze, Lisa Page joined me. Her good mood and engaging conversation cheered me up immediately. Word had already spread of the series termination and Lisa was doing her best to cheer me up.

Smiling, she said, "Crystal, you can't let this get you down. It's a fact of life in show business that all shows end. If you're going to survive in this business, then you have to learn to play the game. When times are good and you're riding high, you stash away as much as possible to tide you over during the lean times. You were lucky and fell into a nice role for your entry into television work, but now it's ending. The good news is the great exposure that you've had, and that you will continue to have over the next few weeks as the shows are broadcast. Your agent will be hard at work trying to line up another spot while you're still fresh in everyone's mind. You have one more show to tape so make it the best show that you've ever done."

I smiled back. "Thanks, Lisa. I will, but I'm still going to be a little sad about the show ending. I liked the cast and think that they liked me a little. I think that that's always the hardest part about a show's ending. You miss all of the friends that you've made."

"You'll see them again, and probably work with them as well. I'm always running into old friends. If not at the studio, then at parties, in restaurants, or even in the supermarket. Like Jill here," she said pointing to the production assistant that was walking towards us carrying her lunch tray."

Jill reached the table and said, "What about 'Jill here'?"

"Lisa and I were just talking about the show shutting down and she was telling me that you continue to run into the people that you've worked with at different times."

"That's true. I previously worked with two of our cast, and at least a dozen of the crewmembers. The crew finds it the easiest to get another job quickly. There are always new productions starting that need experienced crew people."

I said, "What about the actors?"

"Depends on what shows are starting and what they're looking for. It also depends on their reputation, their talent, and their salability. The producers and directors that you work with move onto other projects and if they like you, you find the way a lot easier."

Lisa said, "I second that. If you're going to be difficult on the set, then you better be one hot property. And if you start to cool down, you may never work again. The actors that find the most work are the one's that never cause any trouble, as long as they have talent also. But egos and swelled heads always get in the way eventually if an actor is successful. Very few can keep their heads screwed on straight with the lavish attention that comes with 'star' status."

Jill said, "The important thing now is to get exposure. Get out and see as many people as you can as soon as the taping is done. Casting the principal roles for a new show or movie start 3 to 6 months ahead of the start of production, and often much longer. Hunting for work is a never-ending chore for 95 percent of us in this business. It's great when you can connect up with a successful series that goes on for years, but very few series make the magical 5."

"The magical 5?"

"Yeah. Once a series makes it through 5 seasons then they're almost assured of syndication. That's what most producers are striving for. Syndication brings in a lot more revenue as small stations everywhere have an opportunity to broadcast reruns of popular shows, instead of just the main networks and their affiliates."

"I'd be happy just to get one year. That will give us the money that we need for college."

Lisa said, "Is that all you want?"

"Yes… and I think that that’s a lot. College is so expensive these days that it takes a lot of money for two complete first class educations."

"Why do you need college at all? Jill has told me how talented you are. And with your looks, you won't have trouble finding another spot. Hollywood always has a place for beautiful, young, talented girls. A girl is at her prettiest from age 18 to 25. If you spend four years at college, you'll be giving up almost two-thirds of your best years."

"Thanks, it's true that looks disappear soon enough, but a college degree is forever. I can always come back afterwards if I still want a career in acting. It's depressing what you both say about constantly hunting for work."

Jill said, "It's not that bad. I guess that you get used to it. It's like being a seasonal worker in Maine. You know that there are going to be several months every year when you won't have a job to go to. And, Lisa, I resent your remark. I'm 26 and I don't feel that I'm over the hill."

Lisa laughed, "Oh Jill, you know what I meant. We're not ready for the old actor's home yet, but our most comely years are past. Now we use our intelligence and the wisdom that we've accumulated to get jobs, instead of being able to use the soft, natural curves that we had as 20 year-olds. And we have to exercise a little harder every year to maintain our figures. I bet that you spend as much time as I do every day looking for that first wrinkle."

Jill smiled, "I haven't found one yet, but I do look."

"That's what I mean. Crystal is going to waste her best years going to some old college. Crystal, it's true that things have been getting better for older actresses in recent years, but youth is still the key ingredient here. How about going to school later on? Work until you're 25 or so then go back to school. By then you will have established your reputation and fans will be eagerly awaiting your return?"

"I don't think it would be so easy to go back to school when I'm older. Most of the students would be younger and I would feel silly. Besides, I've heard that most people who plan to do that never make it. Life has a way of interfering with those types of plans."

Jill said, "I think that you've got the best idea, Crystal. Stay in school and get your degree. Nothing beats a good education. And don't worry about the show ending. You'll find more work. Your fans will help to create a demand for your services."

"What fans? I may have been a little popular in my hometown, but out here I'm nobody."

"Somebody knows you’re here. I saw one of the mailroom clerks leaving mail in your dressing room when I came over. It's been almost a week since your first regular season episode was broadcast. I would expect you to start receiving some fan mail about now."

Lisa said, "Half of them will probably be marriage proposals. Every young actor and actress gets them. There're a lot of lonely people out there who fall in love with movie and television personalities. Most never do anything other than watch every show or movie that you're in. Some write letters expressing their devotion, and a few crazies will occasionally stalk the stars. Most of these are basically harmless and just want to be around you, but there is an infinitesimally small group that is really dangerous. Chances are excellent that you'll never meet any, but you have to be aware of their existence."

"Have you ever met any?"

"Me? No. Of course until now, I've only been a supporting actress. The stalkers usually go for the high profile stars, although not always. Just be wary."

We continued to talk show biz for the rest of the meal. Talking with Jill and Lisa at lunch had made me feel better. They were right about the show's ending not being the end of my dreams. It was just a normal happening in Hollywood. I would work hard and do the best job that I could with my last episode and then throw myself into finding another role. We had less than a year before Carol would need a good chunk of her first year's tuition money. I was determined to get it.

I found a small group of letters in my dressing room when I got there. Since I wasn't needed in the meeting room yet, I sat down and read through them. I didn't get a single marriage proposal in the group, but I did get a lot of requests for autographed pictures. When I was through, I put the rubber band back around the letters and left them on my makeup counter before leaving to go to the meeting room for the afternoon cast reading.

When I returned around 5 o'clock Mom and Carol were in the dressing room. They were reading the letters that I had received and looked up as I entered.

Mom said, "Oh, Honey, you've gotten you're first fan mail. It's wonderful. We'll have to get some pictures made up to send out to your fans. We can use one of the shots that the agency took. I know just the picture. Tomorrow I'll arrange to have it printed and we'll get some envelopes for shipping. Bring your mail home each day and we'll do everything from there."

"Mom, I have some important news."

Both Mom and Carol looked at me in anticipation. Mom said, "What is it, dear?"

I stammered, "It's ah… it's about the show. We learned today that it's been cancelled."

Carol was the first to speak. "What? But it's starting to look so good, now. And you got such good ratings."

Mom said, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I know that you were hoping for a long run."

"I feel like I let down the company. I was brought back to make a difference and the show was cancelled anyway."

"Oh, honey, don't be silly. You're not responsible for the cancellation. I don't want you to begin thinking that this is your fault. Get your things together and we'll go home."

"Okay, Mom. I'll be ready to leave in just a minute. I just have to use the bathroom."

Carol had started dinner before they left for the studio so it was almost ready to eat when we arrived back at the condo. Over dinner Mom told me that we would be having the closing on the condo right after work on Wednesday night.

I said, "How come so late in the day?"

"So that it won't interfere with your taping schedule."

"Oh, I don't have to be there. It would have been easier if you had just done it during the day while I'm working."

"No. You have to be there to sign the papers. Since the condo will be in your name, you have to attend."

"My name? Why will it be in my name?"

"It's your money that's buying it, and your earning potential that the bank approved the mortgage loan on. It also has to be in your name for certain tax benefits that you can use. The only reason for having the condo is for working here in California so your accountant should be able to use part of the expenses such as property taxes as a deduction."

"I have an accountant now?"

"Of course. Mr. Daniels recommended a firm for us to use and I hired them. A Mr. Benedict will be handling your account from now on."

"Does he get a percentage of my earnings also?

"No. He's not like an agent. The accounting firm just bills based on time spent working on your account. It'll be worth the expense to have a professional advising us about possible tax deductions. Your income places you in a very high bracket."

"Aren’t we supposed to go over to Muriel's on Wednesday night?"

"After dinner. We'll be a bit rushed but the closing won't take long. I'll make sure that dinner will be ready by the time that we get home from the closing."

When dinner was over I was excused to work on the script while Mom and Carol cleaned the kitchen. By bedtime I had committed most of my lines to memory and was working on my facial expressions in the mirror. I was exhausted by the time that I finally climbed into bed. It had been a long day. I had learned that the series was being cancelled and that I was being committed to a 20 year mortgage on the condo. 20 years? That was more than my entire lifetime of 16 years. I fell asleep fairly quickly in spite of the situation. As Mom had said, there was no worry about money for the near future. The money that I was getting for the four shows would see us through for quite a while.

Tuesday was pretty normal. We spent the day rehearsing and knocked off by 5 p.m. Wednesday started out normal too. Of course, by now, everyone knew that the series had been cancelled and it seemed like we were being shunned. Perhaps people felt that our bad luck was contagious or something. In spite of that, the mood on our set was light. I know that everyone was concerned about jobs, because that filled all of the conversations whenever we had a break. The entire cast and crew seemed to be contacting everyone that they knew as they sought out new jobs. I was content to let the agency do my looking for now since I hadn't been around long enough to have any contacts. We completed our rehearsals a little before 5 p.m. and broke for the day. We would start our taping tomorrow morning as usual.

Mom and Carol were waiting for me and whisked me out because we had the closing to go to. The closing would take place in the offices of the bank's attorney and we arrived in plenty of time. All of the paperwork had been prepared in advance and the closing actually took less than 20 minutes. Mom had hired an attorney to represent us and he had reviewed all of the documents before we arrived. With him pointing out where I should sign, and then Mom after me as my guardian, we zipped through the forms. Then a few minutes of hand shaking and we were done. It was the fastest $250,000 that I ever spent. Of course it was the only $250,000 that I had ever spent. I didn't know that it was so easy. Mom had put down a total payment of $40,000 which meant a mortgage of $210,000. She didn't even have the full amount so the Daniels agency advanced the money based on the money that I had already earned, but which had not yet been paid by the studio. When the money came in from the studio, they would simply deduct the amount that I had been advanced.

After the closing, we hurried home to have dinner and then we were off again to Muriel's house. It was a joy to just sit and relax with Muriel as she worked on my chest. She blended the color to my tan perfectly. I knew that this might be a common trip as I struggled to have a tan and keep the breast forms matching the rest of me unless I could get into a pattern of tanning that would keep the skin hue consistent. We thanked Muriel and left in time to get home and see the 2^nd new episode of 'Oliver On Board'.

I liked the way that the episode looked and so did Mom and Carol.

Afterwards, Mom said, "It's such a shame that they didn't give the series some more time. The new writer's are great and, of course, the acting is wonderful. If they had had this team together from the beginning, they would have had a hit on their hands."

"Mr. Wittier said that the show could be called back next season if the critics like the next few shows, but he didn't sound too enthusiastic so I'm not pinning any hopes on it."

"You never know Dear, but I think that it's best not to count on it. I spoke with Mr. Daniels today. He's pursuing some leads. He wants you to do some guest appearances as soon as you're through at the studio. His office is going to line them up."

"What kind of guest appearances?"

"You know, the day time talk circuit and such. It's important to be seen now."

"It will be embarrassing to go on TV and talk about the cancellation of the show."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You said that Mr. Wittier told you that the decision had been made weeks ago, and that they had used the time to line up a replacement. That means that the decision had been made at the network, even before you were brought back."

"That's what he said. But it still sounds like I'm making excuses."

"The viewers are smarter than that. They know that the series was in trouble before, and that it all changed when you came back. Most will not be aware of the change in writing staff, only that the whole tempo of the show is different now."

"Okay, Mom. I'll do whatever Mr. Daniels suggests. I'm so tired I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dear."

Carol followed me to my bedroom to help me with my corset. I had stopped wearing it to bed, now, and I slept much better each night. My shape seemed to have settled into a proper female form and wearing the corset during most or much of my waking hours should be enough to keep it like that

She said, "Cheer up, Crys. After Friday you'll be able to sleep in every day for while. You won't have to get up before sunrise, and we'll be able to use the pool and tennis courts at the new condo complex."

I smiled, "Sounds great. I could use a little rest, and some time to catch on my schoolwork."

I fell asleep quickly once I was in bed despite the feelings of apprehension that were building within me over the financial morass I seemed to be slipping into. I had never owed any money before and it felt strange to owe so much all at once even if the value of the condo exceeded the amount of the mortgage. I felt like I had a new dependent to keep working for now, the First National Bank & Trust of Burbank.

Things were fairly subdued on the set Thursday in spite of the fact that our numbers for yesterday's show were great. The critics were praising the new format and lamenting the vagaries of the television business being responsible for the cancellation of another fine series. These were the same critics that were lampooning the series just a couple of weeks ago. But everybody knew that the die had been cast and there was almost no chance that the series would be continued now.

Most of today's taping consisted of emotional scenes. First up were the scenes where I learned of my grandmother's critical illness. Then were the scenes where I made the decision to travel back East to be with her through her illness. We finished the day's shooting with the tearful goodbye as I left to be with Grandma. I spent a lot of time in passionate embraces with Oliver as Mr. Landois filmed his sentimental close-ups.

On Friday we taped the establishing shots and the fill-in scenes. Even before we were finished for the day, many of the cast and crew were engaged in their good-byes as small groups, huddled between scenes. Only a few had found jobs so far and their searching would really begin in earnest on Monday.

When the shooting was completed, everyone began to leave after making one more round of good-byes. I waited until the set was almost empty and approached Mr. Landois who was talking with Oliver. Jill was standing nearby. I stood next to Jill until Oliver had completed his conversation with the director, then I stepped in.

"Mr. Landois, I just wanted to stop by and thank you for the opportunity to work in this show. I'm sorry that my performances couldn't help prevent it from being cancelled, but I appreciate the experience and for what I've learned from you."

Mr. Landois laughed and took my hand, then pulled me to him and hugged me like a big friendly bear. "Princess, you have been wonderful. Your work was superb and it is the foolishness of the programmers at the network that is responsible for our cancellation. You and Oliver made a great team. I only wish that you had been with us for the whole run. If the show had not been cancelled then I guarantee that your option would have been picked up for the rest of the season. It has been my very great pleasure to direct you and I hope that I shall have that pleasure again some day. I'm sure that you will not have any difficulty in finding another job."

Oliver said, "That's right. You're a wonderful actress and you shouldn't have any difficulty finding another role. I look forward to working with you again. I know that we will."

"Thank you both. I hope that we can work together again someday also. Goodbye."

Jill walked along with me as I walked back to my dressing room so that we could say goodbye. She had been my closest friend on the set and I would miss her. She had helped me a great deal to become acclimated to the studio scene.

"Crystal, they were being sincere. I know that everybody always says those things on the last day, but they really meant them, and I do also. I'll miss you until we have a chance to work together again."

"Thanks, Jill. Thanks for everything. You've been great. I hope that we'll work together again. Maybe you can write a good part for me when you become a writer."

"Count on it. Oh, give me your new address."

She handed me a small notebook and I wrote the address of the new condo. I handed back the notebook and said, "I don't know what the phone number will be yet, but you have Mom's and my cell phone numbers, and I have your numbers. Let's stay in touch."

"We will."

We hugged each other and then mouthed good-byes as we parted. She would be employed until the show was completely wrapped up but this was my last day here. She hurried off while I walked the rest of the way to my dressing room. Mom and Carol were there and had already packed up my things. It's amazing how much stuff you collect in only a month. We picked up the boxes and carried them to the car. As we drove out of the lot, the guard stopped us and asked for our parking lot pass back. Mom handed him the cardboard plaque that sat on the car's dashboard since our first day. This really was the last day that I was welcome at this studio, I thought. The thought made me even more depressed.

 

(continued in Chapter 35)

 

 

 

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