Chapter 25

I overslept in the morning. The fact didn't really surprise me when I finally did wake up. It had been a wonderful night with Debbie, and I had been exhausted when I got into bed. Also, I think that the alcohol may have contributed to my having slept so late. But as wonderful as yesterday had been, I was expecting today to be equally terrible.

I put Scarlet back up onto the shelf and went into the bathroom to wash up. Mom, Aunt Jessica, and Carol were all sitting at the table in the kitchen when I arrived downstairs, having finished eating breakfast long ago. They kidded me about sleeping so late while Mom made breakfast for me, and, as I ate, we discussed our final plans for lunch. After breakfast we cleaned the kitchen and went upstairs to bathe and dress. As had been our custom, I went before Carol, and then knocked on her door when I was through so that she could take her bath. While she started to fill the tub I returned to my bedroom and began to get dressed. I sat at my makeup table after I had put on my underwear to begin working on my face and hair. My nails were fine because I had done them yesterday for my date with Debbie. Carol came in after she had gotten out of the tub and tightened my corset for the first time. It would have to be done one more time before I could get dressed if I was to wear the clothes that Mom had laid out. She wanted me to wear the outfit that Barbara had altered at the theatre last Sunday, and I needed to be at my smallest measurements to wear them since they fit me like a second skin.

Carol came back into my bedroom after she had dressed and we fixed our faces together and then worked on each other's hair. Carol helped me to insert the 'falls' that gave my hair a lot more body and length. Not having had my hair cut in several months had also helped to increase its length. Then she helped me to squeeze into the outfit and put my shoes on. When we were ready, we went downstairs to help with lunch and to set the dining room table. Everything would be ready at 1 o'clock, and I wondered if Dad would really show up.

At 12:45 the front door bell rang, startling me, and everyone else. I guess that I had been hoping that he would be a no-show.

Mom said, "Carol, go upstairs as we planned."

When Carol had disappeared upstairs, Mom opened the door. Aunt Jessica and I stood in the living room while Mom let Dad into the house. She had said that she would send him away if she smelled liquor on his breath. We heard Dad greet her and then she stepped out of the way so that he could come in. I guess that he had passed the first test.

Dad looked at us as he stepped into the room and said, "Hi Jess. You're looking well." Then looking at me he said, "Hi sweetheart. I saw you in your play last weekend. You were great. I never expected any daughter of mine to be so talented. I was so proud to see you up there on the stage that I bought a bunch of pictures in the lobby and showed them to all of the guys at work."

I smiled very slightly and said, "Thank you. I saw you sitting in the audience at the Sunday matinee. I'm glad that you enjoyed the show."

Spotting the award on the mantle, he walked over and picked it up. "Wow, you've received an award for 'best actress'. That's wonderful. Who's the C.T.P.G.?"

"That's the Community Theatre Players Group. The acting company that put on the show."

Putting the award back onto the mantel he said, "That's wonderful. Is that the first award that you've received?" As he looked around the room he added, "I don't see any others."

"Yes. It's the only award that I've received. This was the first play that I was ever in."

"Well, you were wonderful." Looking at Mom he said, "Can we sit down?"

Mom said, "Of course. Sit over there, Bill."

After sitting down he said, "Isn't anyone else going to sit down?"

We looked at one another and then sat as well. Mom chose a chair across from Dad while Aunt Jessica sat on the couch. I continued to stand.

Dad said, "Where's Cary?"

We looked at one another for a second before Mom got up and went to the stairway. She called out, "Honey, will you come downstairs now."

Carol walked down the stairs and walked over to me. We held hands as we stood nervously next to one another, looking at Dad. Dad just sat with a puzzled look on his face.

"What is this?" he said and then he slowly rose up from his chair.

Mom said, "These are your children."

Pointing at Carol and speaking in an agitated voice, he said, "Are you trying to tell me that this is Cary?"

Mom said, "No, of course not. That's your daughter Carol."

"Then who is that?" he said pointing to me.

"That is Crystal."

"But if Crystal isn't Carol then who…?" We observed his facial changes as realization overtook him, and he fell back into the chair. He continued to stare at me with a look of horror on his face. His mouth moved, but no intelligible sounds came out. Finally, he closed his eyes and put his head back onto the chair. It was a full minute before he opened his eyes again and spoke. He directed his question at Mom.

"You're telling me that this is my son Cary?"

"No. This is your daughter Crystal. She used to be Cary."

"How could you do this to him?" he said shaking his head.

"I didn't do it to her. She did it herself. It was her choice. I accepted it and have come to believe that it is for the best?"

"How can you say that this is for the best?" he said incredulously.

"Simple. Do you have $250,000 for your children's college educations?"

"No. You know that I don't have any money. After what I send you, I barely manage to pay my bills."

"Well I don't have very much set aside either. Until now the best that we could hope for was the local community college unless they were lucky enough to get some scholarship money. Neither of us got to go to college, but I'm going to see that my children get there, whatever it takes. And Crystal's acting is a means to that end. She can earn enough to put both her sister and herself through four years of study at any college of their choice. This is an answer to my prayers."

Dad sat and stared at me some more before speaking. "No. I can't go along with this. We'll have to find another way to get the college money. I refuse to have my son dressing like a girl. I won't stand for it. I'd be the laughing stock of my office if this got out. This ends now."

"No this doesn't end now. I wondered how long it would be before you started thinking only of yourself."

"I'm thinking of Crystal, and what this is doing to her. Seeing her in that play, I never suspected that she wasn't a woman. And even when she was on stage doing the jokes, I never had a clue that she wasn't a girl; that's why I thought that she was Carol."

"You're not thinking of Crystal. You're only thinking of yourself. You said that you'd be the laughing stock of your office if this ever got out. That's what's concerning you, not Crystal's life or future."

"I'm not going to argue with you. This ends today, or else."

"Or else what?"

"I'll… I'll… I'll take you to court and sue for custody. I'll file charges against you for being an unfit mother and for doing this to your child. Or I'll go to the press and expose this sham."

Mom remained calm throughout Dad's tirade. We had discussed every conceivable argument over the past several days and worked out answers to every one that we could come up with.

Mom said, "No you won't. Crystal is sixteen now and the court wouldn't award you custody unless she wanted to go with you. As for doing this to my child, we have a number of witnesses who will swear that I had nothing to do with Crystal's original transformation. She is an adult and has made her own decision to live as a woman. I am merely supporting her in that decision. And as for going to the press, I can't believe that you would destroy your child's future in such a way. You've always been selfish, but never vindictive. And… if you do go to the press, your co-workers will see it and never let you live it down. Crystal's television work will insure that it makes the national news. You won't be able to find a job anywhere in this country where your co-workers won't know who Bill Ramsey is. I'll make sure of that."

I could see that Dad was beaten. We had had time to prepare for this because we anticipated this scene, but he had been totally unprepared for today's revelations, and his deductive reasoning had fled in the face of possible ridicule and humiliation. His vision was clouded by thoughts of his co-worker's taunts if they learned about any of this, and we had used this against him. I felt sorry for him as he slumped in the chair, and I went over to him and took his hand. He looked up at me and I saw tears on his cheeks. He pulled my arm and I let him put me onto his lap where he cradled me in his arms, and hugged me. This was my first memory of my father ever touching me.

We sat like that for perhaps five minutes. Carol had gone over to the couch to sit down as everyone watched the drama play out. When it was clear that the situation had been decided, and that there was little chance for violence, Mom said, "I have to check on dinner. It should almost be ready. Jess, will you help?"

After they had gone into the kitchen Dad said, "If I didn't know that you were born a boy, I'd never believe it. How did this happen? When did you decide to become a woman? I want to understand."

"I'll tell you the whole story over dinner. Why don't you say hello to Carol? You haven't even greeted her yet."

I saw the look of realization in his eyes, and he turned to look at Carol who was sitting on the couch.

He said to her, "I'm sorry Carol. I was a bit overcome with the situation. I never said hello. How have you been?"

She said, "Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yes. I don't know you, you know. I don't remember you at all."

Dad was silent for a moment before saying, "You're right. I haven't been a very good father. Sending a support check once a month is not enough. But even if I wasn't around, I want you kids to know that I thought about you all of the time. As time went by, it just grew more difficult to contact you, and to become part of your lives. I'm sorry. I know that we'll never be a close family, but I hope that we can be friends."

"Okay. We'll be friends. As long as you don't do anything to hurt Crystal."

"How do feel about all of this?"

"Isn't that clear. I love Crystal, and I think that she is the best actress that I have ever seen. I'm so proud of her, and proud to be her big sister. We've had some great times together over the past several months."

Mom came out of the kitchen to announce that dinner was ready and that we should go into the dining room. Dad helped me to get up off of his lap and we walked into the dining room with his arm around my shoulders. I indicated where he should sit down and he walked to that place after squeezing my shoulder.

Over dinner I told Dad the whole story about how I had become Crystal, and all of the events following. I left out any mention of dating, and about kissing boys, except for the kissing that I was required to do while acting. When I was finished, Mom filled in details that I had missed, or skipped over, that she felt were relevant. Throughout it all, Dad sat and listened without saying very much.

When we had finished telling the story, he said to me, "Are you happy with this?"

"How could I not be happy? It's been wonderful. Like a dream come true. I've gotten a chance to visit California, be in a TV show, and have had a sizeable amount added to our college fund."

"You start school tomorrow, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Are you returning as Cary, or Crystal?"

"Crystal, of course. I couldn't very well show up as Cary looking like this."

"And what are you going to tell people about Cary being missing."

"Our story all along has been that we are twins. People believe that I have been with you, and Cary has been here. Now we have traded places."

"You talk as if Cary was a separate person."

"Do I? Yes, I suppose I do. That is because he is 'supposed' to be a separate person. It's easier to maintain an illusion if you maintain it all of the time. Less chance for a slip-up."

"And I suppose that you want me to refer to you as my daughter all of the time now? To say 'her' and 'she' whenever talking about you?"

"It would help to prevent slip-ups if you could think of me that way. I've worked hard at thinking of myself that way all of the time."

"Even when you are with boys?"

I didn't answer. Instead I looked at Mom. She said, "What are you getting at, Bill?"

"I'm simply trying to understand the situation, and see if Crystal understands the situation. Play-acting is one thing, and real life is quite another. If someone becomes infatuated with Crystal, and then learns her secret, that person could do terrible things. That's real life, and I'm simply concerned for her safety."

We all took a moment to reflect on things before continuing the discussion. It had become obvious that Dad had accepted the situation as being beyond his control, even if he didn't embrace it. But I was happy that he was being tolerant, and cooperative, at least. We had a chance to get to know him a little as the afternoon wore on. Even Carol warmed to him a little bit as we talked. He didn't talk very much about himself, but we could sense that he was lonely. He had never remarried, although he said that he had had a few girlfriends over the years. When it came time for him to leave, he hugged me like a daughter. Carol allowed herself to be hugged also after seeing me do it. He said that he hoped that he could come again some time, and, smiling, said that we were always welcome to visit Cary and him in Dayton.

After he had gone, we all breathed a sigh of relief that things had gone so well. Aunt Jessica stayed for dinner and then left also. Our family seemed to be shrinking before our eyes, but it was only returning to normal. Except that it was a new normal, without Cary in the house. This had been one wild weekend, and tomorrow we would have to start school. Mom would take care of registering me in the morning, and her job in the school office would make that a fairly easy task. I had made friends, as Crystal, with many of the high school kids over the past months, but I was still something of a celebrity, even though the play had ended, and I wondered how I would be received. I guess that I would learn the answers to a great many questions tomorrow.

Mom had arranged a letter from Dr. Danvers that will allow me to skip gym class, at least. My attempts to fit in there could have proven to be very embarrassing. But I expect that many situations will arise from the close contact in a school full of girls and boys.

Well, as Scarlett O'Hara liked to say, 'I'll worry about that tomorrow'.

 

(continued in Chapter 26)

 

 

 

*********************************************
© 1999 by Crystal Sprite. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.
Anyone wishing to make comments is welcome to e-mail me at crystal@storysite.org