Chapter 15

When I awoke in the morning, I realized that something was tickling my nose. As I focused my eyes, I saw that I had my arms wrapped around the doll whose lip I had repaired. It was her hair that was tickling my nose. Now how did that get there? Was I walking in my sleep? I unwrapped my arms from around the doll, and went to the bathroom where I washed my face and hands. Now fully awake, I walked downstairs to the kitchen. Mom and Aunt Jessica were already there, and were in the process of making breakfast. I sat down after kissing them both good morning, and drank the glass of orange juice that was at my place. Aunt Jessica brought over a plate of French toast and sat down. Mom joined us in a couple of minutes. As we ate, we discussed the plans for the trip. The big job would be in packing the car. We had a lot of things from the home improvement center, plus boxes of groceries, and all of our suitcases. Carol came in carrying the morning’s paper that she had retrieved before coming to the kitchen. She sat down and ate while the French toast was still warm.

After breakfast, I looked through the paper. In the entertainment pages, I found another review of the play. I read it for the family.

‘I always like to return to a play that has had a good opening night performance. After a number of performances, the actors fall into a sort of rhythm, which can be good, or bad. I am happy to say that if anything, ‘Guts and Garters’ has improved. It is hard to imagine that I could, but I enjoyed it even more the second time. The incomparable director, Adam Tucker, filled in for an ailing cast member, and his performance was no less than perfect. The play had the look of a polished professional play that you would find in any major city. In a new twist, the play’s leading lady, Miss Crystal Ramsey, greeted the audience, and then signed autographs as she exchanged a friendly banter with audience members. She seems so at ease on the stage that you would think that she had been doing it for years rather than just weeks. I predict that you will be seeing a lot of this young lady in the future. And if you haven’t seen the play yet, then get your tickets now. I've learned that the play is being held over for a second extended week. Get to the box office and get your tickets now before it’s too late. I’ll see you there.’

"At ease? I was as nervous as a mouse in a room full of cats."

Carol laughed. Mom and Aunt Jessica smiled.

Mom said, "You must not have shown it. You always appear cool under pressure, dear. With some people, pressure brings out their best side."

"I just think that the reviewer had steamed up glasses or something."

"You’ll just have accept the fact that you have found your calling. Some people say that actors are born, not made. And it appears that you were born to be an actor. Let me have that article if you’re through, I want to add it to your scrapbook."

"My scrapbook?"

"Yes. I started it with the first review, and have added everything that has been printed about you. I even have a program from the theatre, and a printed announcement from Barrett’s about your signing session."

"Mr. Tucker said that he was going to give all of the actors a cast photo. I’ll give it to you when I get it."

"Wonderful. You’ll treasure it someday. Now let’s get moving or we’ll never get to the lake today."

We cleaned the kitchen and went upstairs to bathe and dress. An hour later we were packing the car. Mom let me wear a pair of jeans and my new sandals. When the car was packed, we set the timer for the lights and made sure that the house was locked up tight. Then we piled into the car and headed for the lake. Two hours later we pulled up in front of the house. After we had unlocked the house, and emptied the car, we worked to get the house livable. The electric had been turned on and that made the tasks easier. I started the water pump and flushed the lines. Then I opened the valve on the new cylinder of gas that had been delivered. When I went back inside, I bled the line and lit the pilot on the hot water tank and the kitchen stove. Mom, Aunt Jessica, and Carol had opened all of the shutters and aired the rooms. Then they had made the beds and cleaned the bathroom. When we were done, we made lunch and relaxed in the kitchen.

We had decided to wait until tomorrow before beginning the improvements. For today, we would just relax and get organized. We had cleaned on our last visit, so all that was really left to do was unpack our suitcases. Carol and I were sharing one room while Mom and Aunt Jessica shared the other. After lunch we unpacked and put our things in the dresser, or the closet. Then we sat on our beds and talked.

Carol said, "Crys, do you really hate all of the attention?"

"No, not all of it. Mostly I’ve been scared that somebody will discover my secret. I’m afraid of the embarrassment that that might cause. But also I feel strange with the ‘instant’ success. It’s a bit overwhelming to go from a nobody to a somebody in just a few short weeks. And I know that in a few weeks, I’ll be a nobody again."

"I don’t think that you’ll ever be a nobody again. You have a real talent for acting. When you’re on the stage, you’re mesmerizing. You really become the character. I almost couldn’t believe that it was really you up there. You were like… a totally different person. I could almost believe that you really were Miss Prudy."

"Thanks, sis. I was lucky to be in such a great play. Mr. Tucker really gave me a lot of insight into Miss Prudy’s character, and helped me to understand how she should react to the situations and the people around her. He’s a brilliant director, and an awesome actor too."

"How come he’s not in the movie business if he’s so good."

"His mother is in a nursing home in town. He doesn’t want to move her away from her friends, so he’ll stay here for as long as she does."

"You mean…."

"Yeah."

"That’s really sweet. And quite a sacrifice."

"It was fortunate for me. I’ve really learned a lot from him. It’s changed my whole life. I’ve begun to really believe that I can be an actor. Before, it was only an idea in the back of my head. But now I know that I want to study drama and someday maybe get into a professional play."

Carol smiled and said, "And the winner for best actress is...Crystal Ramsey."

"Maybe someday. Who knows?"

"I’m tired of sitting around. Want to go swimming?"

"Okay. Mom bought me two new suits yesterday."

"Yeah. I helped her pick them out. You should have seen the ones that you almost got. Yeechhh."

I giggled. "Thanks."

"My pleasure. It would have made ME look bad if I had to stand next to you while you were wearing one of those. Try on the blue one."

Carol helped me to remove the corset after I had undressed, and I put on the blue, one-piece suit. I wasn’t wearing the padded girdle so I felt positively skinny. But I wasn’t as boney as I used to be. Weeks without riding my bike were taking their toll. I was getting positively fat in my hips and tush compared to the way that I had been before. I had put on two pair of panties to hold my genitals out of the way and to give me a female crotch line. I felt wonderful to be free of the corset. My waist was about 23 inches without it. I wish that I never had to wear it again, but I knew that without it, my waist would slowly revert to its old size. But while I was swimming I would be free of it, and I decided to enjoy the temporary freedom. I put on my new sandals and we walked down to the lake.

The water felt great as we swam and splashed around. This was the first time that I had been swimming this summer, and I made the most of it. We stayed in the water for about an hour before climbing ashore and lying down to bask in the sun. Carol had brought the sun block and we put it on each other, then lay back down to rest. I must have fallen asleep because the shadows were very long the next time that I looked around. I reached over and shook Carol who was still sleeping. We got up and walked up to the house together. We each took a quick shower before getting dressed, then headed down to help Mom and Aunt Jessica prepare dinner.

After dinner, I went upstairs to read while everybody else watched television. Without cable the choices were limited, but they found some programming that they could stand to watch. I read until I was sleepy, then turned in for the night. Carol was not up yet, but she had left my corset a little loose when we dressed after our swim. I closed my eyes and let sleep overtake me. It had been a wonderfully relaxing afternoon, and I felt great.

The next day we started in on our chores. The first job was to paint all of the window frames. We had just begun when we heard the motor of Barry’s boat. He must have spotted Carol and my bathing suits hanging on the line, because he and Jason stopped and came up to the house. We greeted them and spent some time talking. They wanted us to go out onto the lake but we told them that our chores had to be done before we could play. They asked if they could help so that it would speed up the process, and we gladly put them to work. By noon all of the frames had been scraped of peeling paint, and had had one coat of paint applied. We broke for lunch and ate down by the lake.

After lunch we put a second coat on each window frame. When that was done, Mom said that we had the rest of the day for ourselves. Carol and I went to clean ourselves up while the boys cleaned the brushes and paint pans. After we had cleaned up, changed our clothes, and made our faces, we went back outside. We found Barry and Jason up to their arms in dirt. Mom had asked them to look at the old generator in the shed to see if they could get it running. While we were in the house, they had stripped it down and were now putting it back together. An hour later they had it completely back together, but it still wouldn’t start. Another hour passed before they managed to coax it back to life. It ran a little rough at first, but improved as they made slight adjustments. It continued to improve as it ran, until it was running smoothly. Having sat idle for a number of years had apparently not ruined it, as we had feared.

It was approaching dinnertime by the time that they were cleaned up, and Mom invited them to stay and eat with us. Barry ran down to the boat and got his cellular phone. He walked around the property for five minutes before he could get a dial tone, then he called his Mom. She told him that it would be okay but that he had to bring the boat back and return in the 4x4. As they left, Mom told him to invite his mother to return with them for dinner. After they left, we returned to the house and began preparing the meal. An hour later we heard the 4x4 pull up out front. Carol went to greet them and bring them inside. Mrs. Conroy had accepted the invitation, and Mom and Aunt Jessica greeted her warmly. We had just finished preparing the chicken and dumplings, so we sat down and ate. During the meal we talked about going swimming tomorrow. We would not have any chores to do since we were ahead of schedule already. Barry and Jason would pick us up at about 10 o’clock. Mrs. Conroy invited Mom and Aunt Jessica to come over to their house at that time also, and they accepted.

After dinner, Carol and I cleaned off the table, and brought the desserts over when the tea was brewed. We had brought apple pie with us, and had made some Jell-O while dinner was cooking. After desert, Carol and I washed the dishes while Mom and Aunt Jessica visited with Mrs. Conroy. The boys watched some television until we were through, and then we went for a walk on the road. Before we returned, the boys managed to find an opportunity to kiss us. Jason lifted me completely off my feet as he pressed me to him and kissed me. I kissed him back, using all of the knowledge that I had acquired lately. When I felt his manhood beginning to stir against my leg, I knew that it was time to go back. I broke off the kiss and he put me down. Carol and Barry were also separating. So I took Jason’s hand and led him reluctantly back to our house. Once inside, we played cards until Mrs. Conroy announced that it was time to go home. We all said goodnight, and they left for the evening.

The next morning we hurried to get ready before Barry and Jason arrived. It was difficult with only one bathroom, and we had to work in relays. But we were almost ready to go when the boys arrived. Carol and I were wearing our bathing suits under our clothes. Once we were all aboard the boat, Barry pushed the throttles to the stops and we practically flew north to their house. As Barry touched the boat lightly against the dock, Jason stepped onto the dock and secured the bowline. Then Barry threw him the stern line and he secured that as well. Jason extended his hand and helped all of us out of the rocking boat, while Barry assisted from onboard. Mrs. Conroy had come walking down from the house when she heard the boat return. She greeted us and then walked back up to the house with Mom and Aunt Jessica.

Carol and I sat down on the edge of the dock and pulled off our jeans and sweatshirts. Carol jumped up ahead of me and dove into the water. She was already swimming towards the swimming platform that was moored about 100 feet from the shore, when I dove into the water. I had nearly caught up to her by the time that we reached the platform. Jason and Barry were close behind me. We had caught them by surprise when we just dove into the water. We climbed up onto the platform to get our breath back. We had swum as fast as could as we raced out there.

As Barry climbed up onto the platform, Carol said, "What took you so long?"

He said, "We didn’t want to show you up on your first visit", and smiled as he collapsed onto the platform. Jason climbed up and collapsed next to Barry. We spent the next couple of hours joking around and swimming in the cool water of the lake.

We were on the platform when we heard the sound of a bell coming from the house. Barry said, "That’s Mom. It means that we should come in for lunch. Race ya." He ran to the edge and dove in. The rest of us were just behind. He reached the dock just 2 strokes ahead of Jason, and 3 ahead of Carol and I. He said, "What took you so long?" as we climbed up onto the dock.

Carol said, "We didn’t want to show you up at your own house", and smiled.

We saw that Mrs. Conroy, Mom, and Aunt Jessica were all seated at the picnic table near the house when we climbed the hill. There were four place settings for us, and we sat down. A plate of hamburgers and bowls of potato salad and macaroni salad sat on the table. We dug into the food like a pack of ravenous teenagers. Aunt Jessica passed around cups of ice-cold, cherry Kool-Aid. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I started eating. I had to remind myself not to eat too much. Usually my corset restricted my food intake, but I wasn’t wearing it right now. I knew that if I ate too much, I would regret it later.

"Mrs. Conroy said, "Crystal, your mother has been telling me of your remarkable success with your play. I wish that we could see your performance."

‘Here we go’ I thought. "I’m sorry but the show is sold out for this coming weekend."

"What about the following weekend?"

"I don’t know. Every show has been sold out within a few days of the tickets going on sale. The company has decided to continue the show for as long as the demand remains very strong. So far, every performance has been played to full houses."

Barry said, "What are you talking about? What show?"

Mrs. Conroy said, "Crystal is the star of a play in the city. The play has been held over by popular demand. She had an autograph signing session at a Mall last weekend and thousands of people came to get her autograph. You’re sitting across from an actress, and a star at that."

Barry said, "Waoh. Kuh-ewl."

I said, "It wasn’t thousands of people at the Mall, Mrs. Conroy, only about one thousand."

"That’s still very impressive. To have a thousand people stand in line just to get your signature. I can see why your mother is so very proud of you. I certainly would be. How many plays have you performed in?"

"This is my first."

"Good lord. You mean that you landed a starring role on your first attempt at acting?"

"No, I didn’t land the part. I was the Assistant Director when the lead actress fell and broke her leg just hours before our opening night performance. The director pushed me into taking the role so that we wouldn’t have to cancel the production."

"This story gets more incredible by the minute. You’re saying that you have won critical acclaim for performing in a starring role, for which you were a last second replacement?"

"It was a surprise to me also."

"Were you the understudy?"

"No. The understudy wouldn’t take the role just hours before the performance. She didn’t feel that she could do it without having had any practice."

"But you did feel comfortable doing it."

"No. Not at all."

"But you went on?"

"Yes. It was either me, or cancel the show until the understudy or someone else could be found to do it. For the good of the company, I went on. I thought that it was only for one night, but the audience seemed to like my performance, so I wound up performing for the entire weekend. The newspaper critic enjoyed my performance, so I wound up staying in the role. I thought that it would be over by now. The original schedule was only for three weekends. But the show’s popularity has inspired everyone to continue for as long as we have packed houses."

Mom said, "She being modest. The newspaper critic hasn’t been able to stop raving about her performance. We already have pages of newspaper clippings about her."

Mrs. Conroy said, "That’s an incredible story. Now we HAVE to see the show. I’m going to call my husband and make sure that he gets us tickets somehow. Boys? Would you like to go?"

Barry said, "Yeah. Kuh-ewl."

Jason said, "Me too, Mrs. Conroy."

Mrs. Conroy said, "Very well. We’ll get tickets before the play closes. Does anybody want anything else to eat?"

When nobody said anything, Mrs. Conroy began to cover the bowls with plastic wrap. We sat at the table for a while and talked, but before very long we wandered down to the sandy area near the water where we could lie down and relax. Mrs. Conroy, Mom, and Aunt Jessica stayed at the picnic table and talked. The boys wanted to know about the play so I gave them a brief summary, then changed the subject. I asked Jason who his favorite band was and this began a discussion that Carol could participate in. I knew that she was uncomfortable while all of the attention was directed towards me. I much preferred the attention be directed towards her. That was the way that it had always been.

After we had waited an hour, we went swimming again. We spent the rest of the afternoon cavorting around the dock or swim platform. We didn’t realize how late it was until we heard the dinner bell from the house. After the bell sounded, we swam back to the dock and walked up the hill to the house. We picked up our clothes and changed in the bathhouse behind the house, and we left our suits on the line to dry before entering the house. Mrs. Conroy, Mom, and Aunt Jessica had dinner all ready, so we sat down and ate the chicken dinner that they had prepared. After dinner, Carol and I helped Mrs. Conroy in the kitchen with the dishes. She told us how she had often wished that she had had a daughter. She said that our mother was so lucky to have two such wonderful daughters.

When everything was clean, we joined the others in the living room. The Conroys had a satellite dish and their channel selections rivaled our cable service at home. When the nightly news came on, Mom announced that it was time for us to go. Carol and I went to get our suits with the help of Barry and Jason. Before we returned to the house, the boys corralled us behind the bathhouse and we spent the next ten minutes in a lip-lock. When we heard Mrs. Conroy calling, we broke it off and went back to the house. 20 minutes later we were back home. Barry and Jason said goodbye and drove off after we had entered the house.

Mom told us that Mrs. Conroy and the boys were coming over at eleven tomorrow and they would spend the day with us. Since it was so late, we went upstairs and prepared for bed. Carol helped me to put my corset back on. It had been marvelous not having to wear it all day. But I knew that I needed it to keep my waist trained, so she tightened it to its normal position. It felt worse than ever but I could stand it after having had a full day of freedom. If I did not get back into it now, I would never be able to function properly on the stage when I had to wear a costume with a 21-inch waist.

As I lay in bed, I thought about the day. I had had a wonderful time with Jason today. He was so handsome, and so strong. I had even enjoyed kissing him as much as I enjoyed kissing Debbie. But why I liked kissing him, I didn’t understand. After all, I was still a male under all of the pretense. I shouldn’t have these feelings for another man. What was happening to me? Had I been impersonating a woman for so long that I was even beginning to feel like one now? I was even looking forward to seeing Jason tomorrow. I turned on my side and fell asleep thinking about kissing Jason.

The next day was similar to Wednesday. We spent most of the day in or near the water. We didn’t have a dock, or a swimming platform, but we were okay with that. The boys made a buoy marker from an old inner tube, a piece of nylon rope, and a cement block. It gave us a point to swim to in the lake, and a place to rest before swimming back. The inner tube was very large and must have come from a truck tire. They had inflated it using a small pump that they had in the 4x4. The pump plugged into the cigarette lighter plug and then we only had to wait until the tube was full. They used the inflated tube to carry the cement block out into the lake. When they reached a point that they felt was right, they pushed the block off of the tube and it sank out of sight. They played out the rope until the block hit bottom. Then they tied it off around the tube and we had a buoy. It seemed to be more fun swimming when we had the buoy in the lake, and we spent a lot of congregating around it. It was too bad that it was too small for all of us to climb up onto.

Aunt Jessica called us when it was time to return for supper. She and Mom had made sausage and peppers, and a potato casserole. The meal disappeared in record time. Swimming all day had built four hardy appetites. After dinner, Carol and I cleaned the kitchen while the others relaxed in the yard. When we joined them, the boys asked us to take a walk.

We walked down the rutted road, which ran past the house, for about a mile, then turned around and headed back. It had gotten dark as we walked, and I had to hang onto Jason to keep from tripping on the unseen ruts. After I nearly fell when I tripped over a large rut, he picked me up in his arms and carried me as if I was a small child. Arriving back at the house, he pulled me to him and kissed me without putting me down. I responded and kissed him back until I figured that we had better stop before things went too far. I pulled back and asked him to put me down now. He sighed and set me down on my feet. I gave him one more kiss before taking his hand and leading him into the house. Carol and Barry followed us in. We sat and played cards until it was time for them to go.

Mrs. Conroy invited us all over to her house tomorrow, but I had to decline. I explained that Mom and I had to return to the city because I had a performance tomorrow night. She asked Carol and Aunt Jessica if they would like to come and they accepted. I felt a little jealous of Carol being able to stay and play while I had to work, but that was life. I was following a path that had been chosen for me, and which I had agreed to heed, even if it was not one that I had pursued.

The boys came over in their boat the next morning around 11 o’clock. Mom and I were preparing to leave right after lunch, so I was wearing my usual ‘uniform’. I had on a low cut blouse, extremely tight skirt, and 4-inch heels. Carol had helped me to dress and once again I suited her idea of what a ‘sultry’ young actress should look like. Both boys whistled when they saw me. I smiled and said hello.

Rather than leaving right away, everyone stayed until Mom and I left. Two hours later we were back in the city. Mom dropped me off at the theatre before returning home. The stage door was open and I found Marge and Barbara playing cards in the makeup room.

Barbara said, "Hi kiddo. You look great. You were looking a bit tired the other day."

"Thanks Barb. We’ve been up at the lake recharging our batteries. I feel better than I have in weeks. Getting away was just what I needed. The pressure was getting to me a little."

Marge said, "We’re glad that you’re feeling better, dear. I know that you were feeling a bit strained."

"Mr. Tucker said to call him as soon as you came in. He has some stuff to go over with you."

I groaned. "That’s the stuff that was making me feel a bit strained. He liked my introduction to the audience last Sunday, and wants me to do it on a regular basis."

Barbara said, "I heard that you were wonderful. Some of my friends were in the audience last Sunday night, and they told me how natural you looked giving the introduction and then signing autographs."

Marge said, "I heard the same thing. The audience really relates to you doing that. I think that you should continue also."

"Thanks, but I feel so uncomfortable doing it. I can’t imagine why everyone thinks that I look so natural."

Barbara said, "That’s the way that it is with some actors. They are the most alive and natural when they’re in front of an audience. They seem to feed off the energy of the crowds. That’s why some very successful stage actors don’t make it in the movies. There’s no crowd to play to. They just don’t function as well."

I excused myself to go call Mr. Tucker. I thought about what Barbara had said. Was that me? Did I feed off the energy of the audience? Was the feeling that I thought of as nervousness, just my senses coming alive as hundreds of people watched my every move? I just didn’t know.

Mr. Tucker answered his phone on the third ring. I explained that I was at the theatre, and was calling him because Barbara had asked me to. He told me that he had left some material on the desk where the word processing computer was located. He wanted me to go over it and memorize it as much as possible. He said that he would be in shortly to discuss it with me. After hanging up I went to the desk and found the large manila folder with my name on it. I sat down, opened it, and took out a sheaf of papers. On the pages were remarks, quotes, and witticisms which all related to life in the theatre. I started at the beginning and read through them. I found some of them very funny and had to laugh. My laughter echoed around the backstage area. When I had finished, I went through them again, and tried to commit them to memory.

Mr. Tucker came in about an hour later. I had read over the sheets several times by then. He sat down near me and he began to instruct me in how I should behave while on stage, and how I should deliver each line.

He said, "Your onstage presence is wonderful. I only want to make a few adjustments. Most of all I don’t want to change you so much that you don’t appear natural, so tell me if you feel uncomfortable, or awkward, doing anything that I say."

We spent about two hours working on my introduction. Mr. Tucker would be going on again as Charles, since Jeffrey Hornag was still having difficulties with his leg. I practiced my introduction as Mr. Tucker watched and made suggestions. When he was satisfied that I was doing it as well as I could, he thanked me for my efforts and we ended the training session. Other cast members were starting to arrive now, and he wanted to discuss some minor points with several of them. He was always looking to improve the play, even now that we were in production and facing the end of our run in a few weeks.

I went back to makeup and sat with Barbara and Marge until it was time for them to break up their card game and go to work. Then I went with Barbara to the wardrobe department to get into costume. I was worried that having spent so much time not wearing a corset might have affected my waist, so I had had Carol tighten me down twice this morning. I was gratified when my dress closed easily. With my costume on, I went to makeup. Debbie was just coming in as I walked down the hall. We stopped and kissed for a second, before she hurried off to get dressed. I waited until Marge was free, because she usually did my makeup.

An hour later, I was sitting backstage going over the notes that Mr. Tucker had prepared for me. I could hear the sounds of people talking as they located their seats in the theatre, and sat down. The doors had opened about 15 minutes earlier, and in 15 more minutes I would have to give the introduction, and my ‘monologue’ as I had begun to think of it. I had never expected to begin a career as a stand-up comedienne when I became involved with the play. At 7:58 the stage manager came to me and said, "Two minutes, Crystal". That meant that in two minutes I would walk out onto the stage and greet the audience.

I stood and walked over to the curtain. Thoughts of what I was going to say tumbled through my mind. On cue from the stage manager, two stagehands opened the curtain wide enough for me to step through, and I moved to the front of the stage. I smiled at the audience, and they began to applaud.

 

(continued in Chapter 16)

 

 

 

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