Chapter 12

Our Saturday performance went as well as the others. We had settled into a kind of production mode by now and things were becoming almost automatic. There were fewer and fewer mistakes in each performance. And none of the mistakes would have been noticed by anyone other than a cast member. We all knew that eventually someone was going to drop something, or knock something over. But so far, mistakes had been limited to missed marks, dropped lines, and bad timing, such as talking while the audience was still laughing from a prior line.

When we left the theatre, we faced an even larger group of autograph hunters than on Friday. I decided to find out who was selling the photos in the lobby. I had forgotten to ask today, but I would tomorrow.

The Sunday matinee went smoothly also. The audience was a very young crowd and I think that they didn’t understand some of the humor in the play, so the laughs were a lot fewer during the performance. But overall they loved the play, and we had six curtain calls at the end.

In between performances, Mr. Tucker had again arranged for a buffet to be served. So everybody gathered backstage after the matinee and prepared a plate from the cold cuts and salads. Debbie and I again took our plates and went to the settee that we had kind of adopted as our seating.

After everyone had eaten, Mr. Tucker called for everyone’s attention so that he could address us.

"My friends, as you all know, this has been the most successful production in the history of our small company. Some plays have flopped badly, but most have been somewhat successful. We have settled on a three-weekend schedule because that was the time needed to recoup our expenditures and make a small profit. A longer schedule would not have brought in any more revenues in the past, just spread out our audiences. This play has been sold out since the first week. That indicates that some people may have been unable to see it. I would like to propose that we extend our run by another weekend. All in favor of having four additional performances please signify by saying aye."

At first there was only silence. Mr. Tucker took that as an indication that nobody was interested in prolonging the play.

He said, "Well, I ‘m sorry that you all feel that way. I thought that you would be overjoyed to be ‘held over’."

Patricia Silbey, the actress who plays my scatterbrained mother, said, "Mr. Tucker, don’t be so quick. We’re all excited by the prospect, and ecstatic about the play’s success, but we need a few minutes to think. Some of us have plans, and we have to think about our personal schedules."

"You’re right, I sprang it on you rather suddenly. I’m sorry. I was just so excited when the idea came to me. Please, think about it, and we can discuss it later."

Mr. Tucker stepped down from the crate that he had stepped upon to address the cast. I went over to him and asked if he knew who was selling the pictures of the cast in the lobby.

"Why us, of course. We had such a rash of requests for pictures that I decided to sell them in the lobby. They have provided us with an additional source of revenue that we have never had in the past."

"If there are any left after the production is over, could I have one?

"Of course. In fact, I’m going to talk to the photographer about making a set for each cast member. I should have thought about it before. Thank you, my dear, for bringing it to my attention."

I returned to the settee to talk with Debbie about extending the performance schedule. My family was planning on spending August at the lake, and this would affect those plans. Mom would have to bring me back on the 6^th of August for the Friday night show, then stay at the house until Monday morning.

Half an hour later, Mr. Tucker again stepped up onto the wooden crate. He said, "My friends, now that you’ve had a chance to think about it, how many are in favor of continuing the production for an extra week?"

This time there was no hesitation. Hands were raised all over the stage.

"Anyone opposed?"

I raised my hand.

Mr. Tucker looked at me questioningly, and with shock in his eyes, and said, "Crystal, you don’t want to continue the production? You’re our leading lady. We need you."

"It’s not that I don’t want to continue. My family has made plans to be up at Hidden Lake on the day following the last show. I have to talk with them before I can commit to a schedule change, Mr. Tucker. I’m sorry."

"I understand, my dear. Family commitments have to be discussed with family first. Do you think that you will know by tomorrow noon."

"Yes, that will give me time to discuss it with them."

"Fine. I’ll call tomorrow to learn of their decision. Everyone else can call the theatre’s private number tomorrow to learn of the decision. If Crystal can’t be here then we'll have to end on our previous schedule. I will leave a message on the answering machine. Thank you my friends for your support and for your exceptionally fine work."

So here I was, on the spot again. I would be responsible for the production ending if I couldn’t continue. I decided that I wasn’t going to feel guilty about my family’s decision if they didn’t want me to continue. Of course I knew that deciding not to feel guilty, and not feeling guilty, were two entirely different things.

The second Sunday performance was a huge success. The older audience laughed at all the right times, and applauded at each tender scene in the play. I think that we could have gotten ten curtain calls if we had tried to. As it was, they applauded for several minutes after it was clear that the curtain was not going to open again. There is nothing so glorious to your ego as honest applause for your efforts.

When we exited the theatre, a crowd of autograph seekers greeted us again. It was another ten minutes before we had signed all of their cast pictures or autograph books. I was surprised that many of the autograph seekers were older people tonight. On the way home, I began to think about what Aunt Jessica had said about swelled heads. I could see how feeding off the energy generated by audiences and fans could cause that to happen. I reminded myself that this was only temporary and that I was still one of the little people, even though I had temporarily been raised to a higher rung on the ladder.

When I arrived home, Mom and Aunt Jessica were in the kitchen. I had wanted to tell everyone about the schedule change at once, but I decided to tell them now in order to give them as much time as possible to decide before noon tomorrow. It was mainly their decision anyway. I walked into the kitchen and sat down as we exchanged greetings.

Mom said, "How were the performances today, dear."

"Great. We had wonderful audiences again, and no problems on stage either. The crowds of autograph seekers are getting bigger at the stage door."

"Be careful, Crystal. Things can get out of control sometimes with crowds."

"I will, Mom. I have some news to relay to you. Mr. Tucker asked the cast to continue the production for another week. Its success has prevented many people from getting tickets. He wants to schedule another weekend of shows."

"That’s wonderful, dear. It really has been a huge success. You should be very proud since you are partly responsible for its success."

"I am, but we had planned to go up to the lake a week from tomorrow. I don’t want to spoil anybody else’s summer."

"You won’t be spoiling anybody’s summer, dear. We can still go up to the lake as planned. Then I can bring you back for the performances. We can return to the lake again on Monday. In fact, Aunt Jessica and Carol can stay right there. Just you and I will come back for the three days."

Aunt Jessica said, "Yes, it’s not that far to the lake. And we’re so proud of you that we are glad to do it."

I got up and went to Mom; I hugged and kissed her. Then I hugged and kissed Aunt Jessica. I said, "I’m the luckiest girl in town to have a mother and aunt like you. Mr. Tucker is going to call tomorrow to learn of your decision. Then he’ll notify the other cast members so that they can make their plans as well."

Mom said, "If we had said no, then the production would not have gone on?"

"That’s right. I told Mr. Tucker that it was your decision to make, since we had already made plans to go to the lake. I was the only one opposed to the extension when he called for a vote."

"You want to do it, don’t you?"

"Yes, but I also wanted to be fair to you, Aunt Jess, and Carol."

"I think that I am the lucky one to have such a talented and considerate daughter."

We hugged again, and then I sat down. Mom went to the cupboard and got me a cup for tea. We talked for awhile before I started to yawn. It had been a long day with the two performances, so I said goodnight and went up to bed. I couldn’t loosen my corset, so I went to bed as I was. I was so tired that it didn’t keep me awake for a minute. I was asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next morning I was a little stiffer than usual. I assume that it was due to the fact that I hadn’t had my corset loosened. I put on my slippers and went downstairs after washing my face and hands. I mixed the ingredients for French toast and settled down with a glass of OJ until the family joined me. Carol was the first one down and I told her about the extension of the play dates.

She said, "Do you mean that we won’t be going to the lake?"

"No, not at all. We’re still leaving on schedule next Monday, but I have to come back for the play on Friday. Mom will bring me back and we’ll stay here for the weekend. Then we’ll come back to the lake on Monday."

"You mean I’ll be stuck all alone with Barry and Jason." She assumed a mischievous look on her face.

"And you’ll love every minute of it."

Carol just grinned like the famed Cheshire cat, without saying a word. When Mom and Aunt Jessica came in, I started cooking the French toast, while Mom made a pot of tea.

When we had sat down to eat, Mom said, "What time is Mr. Tucker going to call?"

"Around noon."

"And you’re going to tell him that you can do the play’s extension date?"

"Yes, unless you’ve changed your mind."

"No. I still support your acting. It may be important later in your career. You’re the lead in a play that was ‘held over by popular demand’. That’s a wonderful commentary, Crystal."

"I’m not so sure that anybody will remember it by the time that the next play is in production."

"You’d be surprised what people remember. Didn’t Mr. Tucker say that this was the first time that the play dates have been extended?"

"Yes."

"Well, see. He remembered that fact. And people will remember this fact also. Never underestimate what people will remember, dear. Just search your own memories of things that happened years ago and you’ll see what I mean."

I thought about events that I had experienced years ago and decided that she was right. People would remember the fact if it were significant enough to them. The only question was whether or not it was significant to them. I believed that the autograph seekers would remember it. The cast would definitely remember it. And there wasn’t a chance in the world that ‘I’ would ever forget the last three weeks.

After breakfast, we split up to do the weekly cleaning. By noon we had completed the cleaning and washed the clothes. Mr. Tucker called just after 12 o’clock and was elated when I told him that I was available for the extended dates. He thanked me for sacrificing my plans for the good of the acting company, and said that my good deed would not go un-rewarded. He wished me a pleasant week and said that he would see me on Friday. With 8 performances behind us, we were skipping the Thursday night run-throughs.

After lunch, Carol asked me if I wanted to go to the Mall with her, Heather, and Sheri. I had no other plans so I told her that l would love to. We hadn’t bathed yet, so we hurried upstairs, and were ready to leave at 1:30 when Heather and Sheri got to the house.

The Mall was fairly quiet since it was Monday. But everywhere I went people were staring at me. Just as we were about to enter a shoe store, a girl that I recognized from high school approached me and asked for my autograph. She had today’s newspaper under her arm and produced it when I agreed. She asked me to sign across my picture. I saw that she was referring to a picture that had been taken outside the theatre the other night when Debbie and I were signing autographs. I knew that the girl’s name was Lorraine but I wasn’t supposed to know her so I asked her name, then signed her paper. She thanked me and told me how much she had enjoyed the performance. I thanked her for her praise and we slowly backed away as she continued to gush. Finally I waved and we turned to enter the store. The other girls were all giggles over Lorraine’s attitude. It was their first encounter with an ‘adoring’ fan. By now I had become used to the fawning and gushing.

Heather said, "Oh wow, like that was so wild. I know Lorraine, like from school, and I never saw her act like that. Like she was in awe of you. But you’re like, just a regular girl."

"But you knew me before the play opened. The publicity surrounding the play has created an aura of show business around me. That's what she, and a lot of other people, are seeing. They don’t see the person, like you do."

We spent the next hour in the shoe store, and I tried on several pairs of shoes with 2-inch heels. It was like wearing sandals compared to the shoes of Carol’s that I had been wearing. If I had had some money, I would have purchased them. But all I had was the few dollars that Mom had given me for bus fares and lunches this weekend. Heather and Sheri both used their plastic to purchase some of the shoes that they tried on while Carol and I could only look on.

After we left the shoe store, we went into Barrett’s Department Store. This was the largest department store in the Mall. They specialized in clothing, and women’s clothing comprised the largest part of their inventory. We went through the Misses Department, dress by dress, and skirt by skirt. I went to look at blouses while the other girls looked at the slacks. Mom wouldn’t let me wear slacks, so I didn’t want to dwell on how they would look on me.

As I examined a blouse, a tall man in a blue blazer suddenly confronted me. On the blazer’s pocket was stitched the stores logo, and underneath was the word ‘Security’. I put the blouse down and looked at his face.

He said, "Excuse me, Miss. Would you please accompany me to the office."

I said, "What’s the problem?"

"I don’t know, Miss. I was just asked to bring you to the office."

I looked around to find Carol, Heather, and Sheri, but they were nowhere in sight. They must be in the changing rooms trying on slacks.

I said, "My sister and friends are with me. I don’t see them but I can’t just leave without notifying them."

The security man lifted his left jacket cuff to his mouth and spoke into it. He relayed what I had said.

He said, "They went into the changing room. They’ll be notified as soon as they come out. Would you come this way please?"

He stepped out of the way so that I could pass. I put the blouse that I had been looking at back onto the rack and walked past him in the direction that he indicated. I didn’t understand why I was being brought to the office. Did they think that I was a shoplifter, or a pickpocket? Did they misinterpret something that I done as I had shopped? My purse certainly wasn’t large enough to conceal any of the merchandise that I had been looking at.

As we reached the main aisle, the security man fell in alongside me and directed our path through the store. When we reached the rear of the store, he punched a code into a keypad and held the door open for me. We walked down a narrow corridor, past a wall of glass that looked into a security room that contained dozens of television monitors which showed images of every part of the store. Four security people were controlling the store’ cameras, panning and zooming as they watched for problems, and thieves.

I was led into an office suite at the end of the corridor and directed into a large office. A man sitting behind a huge desk stood up and looked at me.

He said, "Good afternoon. Would you care to sit down."

"No, I wouldn’t. Why have I been brought here? I haven’t been shoplifting."

His face took on a look of horror. "I’m sorry if you have been given that impression." He turned to look at the security man. "Williams, didn’t you explain to Miss Ramsey that I wished to talk to her?"

The security man said, "I’m sorry, sir. I was only asked to escort the lady here. I didn’t receive any explanations."

The man turned back to me. "I’m terribly sorry Miss Ramsey. You were not asked to come here because of any suspicion of misconduct. Quite the opposite. My wife and I saw your performance at the theatre this weekend and I wanted to discuss something with you. I thought it better that we talk here instead of on the sales floor, or I would have come to you. There was apparently a miscommunication among our security staff. Please forgive us."

"I feel more at ease now that you have explained. I know how mistakes can happen. I forgive you Mr.…?

"Greening. Stuart Greening. I’m the store manager. Would you care for something to drink?"

"Do you have any bottled water?"

"Of course."

"That would be appreciated. My throat is a bit dry right now."

"Williams, would you get two bottles of water, and glasses, from the lunch room, please?"

"Right away, Mr. Greening." The security man left.

Mr. Greening said, "Would you care to sit down now, Miss Ramsey?"

I sat in the chair that he indicated. "What is it that you want to discuss, Mr. Greening. I hope that you don’t want tickets to next weekend’s performance because the theatre is sold out."

He smiled. "I know. I’ve already tried. My brother and his wife are coming to visit and I wanted to take them to the play."

"If they are going to be here the following weekend, you may be able to get tickets for one of those performances."

"I thought that the final performances were this coming weekend?"

"They were. The decision to do four more was only made this morning. Tickets will probably be available by Thursday."

"That’s wonderful news. It works out even better."

"What does?"

"I’m sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself. The reason that I wanted to see you was to discuss a business proposition with you."

"What kind of business?"

"I’d like to have you come in to sign autographs at the store."

"But I do that already at the theatre."

"That’s only late at night. Many people don’t want to wait around in dark alleys at that time. I would like to schedule a signing which would start around 1 o’clock in the afternoon."

"Why?"

"Because I hope that it will bring people into the store. I saw the picture in today’s paper. There are clearly people who will come to get your autograph. If they come in to get it here, then they may stay and shop. I think that it’s worth the gamble."

I said, "I don’t think that I would feel comfortable doing that. I would feel like I am on display or something. And there are 14 other actors in the play. I’m only a small part of the production."

He looked discouraged. "Please, Miss Ramsey. Don’t minimize your importance in the play. You are the lead actress, and your performances have captured the hearts of all of the theatergoers. As to the other, we would handle it in a very dignified manner. Our security people would keep things under control at all times. And of course there’s the stipend."

"What stipend?"

"The store will give you a gift certificate in the amount of one thousand dollars for any clothing items of your choice."

My heart jumped into my throat. I said, "A thousand dollars? Isn’t that an awful lot of money for just signing autographs?"

"I would build an entire campaign around the event. It’s not a lot of money considering what we spend in advertising costs each year. We spend around three thousand dollars each week at this time of year. And in the world of women’s fashions, we typically have markups of up 400% or more. That’s how clothing stores can have sales with 60% discounts, and still make money. So the gift certificate shouldn't cost the store more than $250.00."

Just then, there was a knock at the door, and the security man carried in two pint-size bottles of water in response to Mr. Greening’s "Come in." I thought about the offer for several minutes while Mr. Greening drank his water. I opened my water and poured some into a cup. I mulled the matter over in my mind as I drank my water.

I said, "I’ll do it on one condition, Mr. Greening."

"And that is?"

"The theatre makes a small profit selling pictures of the cast to the autograph seekers. So that this doesn’t deprive them of that small income, you may only use their photos, purchased through them. Of course, I will also sign newspapers, autograph books, and other things. But all photos sold, or given away in the store, must come through the theatre."

"Completely acceptable, Miss Ramsey. Thank you."

"When did you want to do this?"

"This coming Saturday. Beginning at 1 o’clock."

"How long do you anticipate my being here?"

"It’s impossible to say. I will advertise that you will be here until 3:00. There will be a break around 1:50, then return to sign again at 2:10. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes, that’s fine."

"Good. When I heard that you were in the store, I called a bookstore owner that I know. That is what she suggested for a signing schedule."

I gave Mr. Greening the telephone number at which he could reach Mr. Tucker, in order to make arrangements for the photos. I also gave him my telephone number and address. He said that a car would pick me up at 12:30 on Saturday. He gave me his card and told me to call him if I had any more questions. Then he escorted me to the door and opened it for me. I turned in the doorway and offered my hand for a handshake. He took it, and then raised it to his lips and kissed it.

He said, "Let me say again how much we enjoyed the performance the other night. Thank you for telling me about the extra performances. I’ll be sure to get my tickets early. Goodbye, Miss Ramsey."

"Goodbye, Mr. Greening."

Carol, Heather, and Sheri greeted me in the outer office. They wanted to know what happened. I told them that the store manager was a fan who wanted me to sign some autographs.

Carol said, "Thank God. I thought that you had been arrested or something."

Heather said, "Like, for real? He had you dragged in here so that you could like, sign his autograph book?"

"He didn’t have me dragged in here. A security man escorted me to his office. Let’s go and I’ll tell you all about it."

Williams, the security man, escorted us back to the sales floor. He tipped his hat as we exited the office area. We left the store and went to a pizza bar. We each got a slice of pizza and found an empty booth.

Carol said, "Now tell us, sis, what happened. When we came out of the changing room, a security guard told us that you had been taken to the office. She didn’t know anything more than that. She had been told to bring us to the office if we wanted to go."

"Like I said, the store manager wants me to sign autographs. He wants me to be here on Saturday afternoon at 1 o’clock, and work until 3 o’clock."

Heather said, "Like, for real? He wants you work here?"

"No, not permanently. He wants me to be here just to sign autographs for two hours. He thinks that it will bring people into the store, and that they'll shop while they're here."

Sheri said, "Do you get paid for doing it? I think that you should get something."

"I get a thousand dollar gift certificate."

Carol, who was sitting next to me, coughed up a piece of pizza that she was in the process of swallowing. She jumped up and screamed, "A THOUSAND DOLLARS?"

Everyone in the pizza bar turned to look at us. Heather and Sheri were just staring at me with their mouths open. Realizing that everyone was looking at her, Carol sat back down, grabbed my arm, and said in an exaggerated manner, "A thousand dollars? Like in a one with three zeros after it and then a period? In dollars?"

"Yes." And then feeling mischievous I added, "Do you think that I should have held out for more?"

Carol just closed her eyes for a few seconds, then she looked at me and said, "Are you serious?"

I smiled at her and she knew that I had been joking.

Heather said, "Like, wow. Just for like, working two hours."

Sheri said, "Crystal, all you have to do is sign your name for two hours?"

"Yes. Plus I have to be pleasant and smile I suppose."

She said, "Wow. I can’t even calculate how many brats I would have to put up with to make that much money babysitting."

"At least you don’t feel like a goldfish in a bowl when you’re babysitting."

Heather said, "Are you like, kidding? Like, I would die to be the center of attention like you. And to get paid for it also. Like, I’m so sure that you hate it."

Carol said, "Crys, is this for real? Not a joke or something?"

"Sis, if it’s a joke, then it’s being played on me. And the most I can lose is a couple of hours on Saturday. Besides, I don’t think that very many people will show up just to see me and get my autograph. I’ll probably have to sign about 20 during the entire 2 hours."

Sheri said, "That makes it about fifty dollars per signature. Wow."

Carol said, "I think that we should go home and tell Mom. While she still has time to stop this if she wants to."

We finished eating our pizza and left the Mall. Heather dropped us off at the house, and they continued on without coming in. Mom and Aunt Jessica were sitting in the kitchen sorting through split peas, looking for small stones, in preparation for making split pea soup. Since it takes about 2½ hours to make the soup, they were starting now. They were surprised to see us back so early. Carol told them why we were back, and I filled in the details about the meeting.

Mom said, "Crystal, are you sure that he said a thousand dollar gift certificate?"

"Yes, Mom. He also said that with the markups that are on women’s clothing, it would probably only cost the store about 250 dollars."

"It sounds too good to be true. A thousand dollars in clothes for two hours of work. But this wasn’t some con man that you met on the corner. You were invited into his office, and you had to walk past the security office to get there. I would say that the offer is genuine."

Aunt Jessica said, "I think that’s it’s wonderful. Think of it as your first paycheck from your new career. If you make it as an actor, you can command thousands of dollars for doing short guest appearances. Celebrities get big paychecks for little work sometimes."

Mom said, "But don’t think that it’s always going to be like this. You'll have to work hard to make it in show business. Very little is going to fall into your lap like this did. You’re just what they call a ‘hot property’ right now."

"I know, Mom. I thought that it would be all over this coming weekend. But I couldn’t be the one to stop the production, after everyone else voted to continue for another weekend."

"I wouldn’t have expected, or wanted, anything else. And this gift certificate is going to come in very handy. My job at the high school provides us with a modest living, but new clothes at the beginning of each school year really drain our budget. This will help tremendously."

Carol and I went upstairs while Mom and Aunt Jessica continued to sort the split peas. We sat on her bed and talked.

She said, "Crys, can I go with you on Saturday?"

"You’d better. I may need someone to talk to while I’m waiting for people to show up looking for my autograph. Otherwise I’ll look pretty stupid sitting there by myself." I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"You may be surprised. Look at all the people that have already asked for your autograph. You’re famous."

"I guess if your picture is in the paper often enough, you’ll get famous whether you’ve earned it, or not. Look at Kato Kalin."

"Who?"

"Kato Kalin. He was the guy who lived in OJ Simpson’s pool-house.

He got famous for a very short time simply because he was home on the evening that Simpson’s wife was killed. He was on late night talk shows and everything."

"Oh yeah. I remember now. What happened to him?"

"He fell back into obscurity after it was all over. Like I will when the play is over."

"Not in this city. I bet that Kato is still well known in his home town."

I looked at her. She may be right. Although my star status would diminish, would enough people forget about it so that I could resume a normal life? I wanted to think about anything else so I changed the conversation. We talked about the shoes and the clothes that we had looked at today. We were still talking when Mom called us for dinner. Her split pea soup was always delicious, and worth the 2 1/2 hour cooking time.

After dinner, Pete called Carol, and they spoke while I cleaned the kitchen. When I was done, I turned the light off and was headed for my bedroom when Carol asked me if we were still on for Thursday night. I had avoided Sean for the past week, but I had said that I would go out this week. I confirmed our date and she relayed that to Pete. An hour later Debbie called me and invited me out tomorrow night. I readily agreed to that date. With Carol’s help, I changed into my sleepwear and settled down to read until bedtime.

No matter how hard I concentrated on my book, my thoughts kept going back to what Carol had said earlier. All along, I had thought that when this was over I would go back to my old life. It hadn’t been nirvana, but I had been content. Since my ‘accident’, a tangled web of events had worked to keep me on this plane of existence. At times I felt like the thirsty man chasing a mirage in the desert. Just when it looks like you are about to reach the water, the mirage in front of you evaporates, and a new one appears in the distance. How many times do you begin a new chase before you just give up and accept your fate? Was I fated to remain in disguise as a woman for the rest of my life? I had begun to feel that way. With the extension of the play dates, my return to normalcy had been delayed once again.

At eleven I turned off the light and went to sleep. I had that dream again that I was a girl who had been forced to masquerade as a boy. My secret was exposed as my male friends who were fooling around stripped my body of clothing. As the garments were stripped from my body, I tried to protect my modesty with my arms. The boys who had ripped off my clothing just stood around me and stared with mouths agape, while I sat on the ground and cried. As ashamed as I was at being naked, I felt relieved that I could at last be a girl again. Being a boy had not been as much fun as I had thought it would be. Their clothes were rough and coarse, and the boys were like their clothes.

 

(continued in Chapter 13)

 

 

 

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© 1999 by Crystal Sprite. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.
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