Chapter 10

The next morning, I was no closer to a solution. My subconscious had not formulated any wonderful ideas as I slept. I washed my face and hands, and went down to the kitchen. I mixed some pancake batter and heated the frying pan. Mom came in as I worked and mixed the OJ and made a pot of tea. When Carol came in, I started to make the pancakes. Aunt Jessica came in as Mom and Carol started to eat. I sat down when the final pancakes were ready. Mom handed me an antibiotic capsule, and a glass of OJ.

After breakfast, we relaxed with a cup of tea. I had two performances today. The matinee show was at 2 o’clock, with the evening show beginning at 8 o’clock. According to Mr. Tucker, we would be playing to a sold out house for each performance.

Carol got up several times and left the kitchen to check on our Sunday paper delivery. On her third trip she returned with the paper. I was dreading the moment and sat back while my family excitedly looked for the article. They found the section that contained the photos, and Mom made Carol wait while the table was cleared and cleaned so that the paper could be spread out.

When the paper was laid out on the table, we were regaled with a dozen pictures of the cast. All but two included me, and one was a close-up of my face. I was very glad for the wig that I wore in the production. It really helped to alter my appearance. I didn’t think that anybody could make a connection to my former identity. My family loved the photos and the associated article. The same critic that had written the previous article had written the narrative. The paper contained a full list of the cast members and at least a line about each actor’s performance. Again, the critic sang my praises. But this time, he had ten times as much space to fill, so he elaborated substantially on his former comments. His review of my performance made me blush from embarrassment. I just sat and drank my tea as my family read the narrative over and over, and commented on their impressions of the performance and the cast.

At 10 o’clock, I went up to take a bath and to start getting ready to leave for the theatre. Carol came up to help me. She couldn’t stop talking about the newspaper article. I probably would have been happy, and even proud of my accomplishment, if I was being praised in my former identity. But somehow I couldn’t work up much enthusiasm knowing that I would only be Crystal for another two weeks. After my bath, Carol tightened my corset twice, and then helped me to get dressed. She brought me a very tight dress, which emphasized my tiny waist and large bosom. Standing in front of the mirror, I smoothed the dress and adjusted the belt. I had stopped complaining to Carol about the overtly sexy clothes that she selected for me. After I had applied my makeup and fixed my hair, I grabbed my purse and hurried downstairs. Mom gave me some money for bus fare and dinner, and I left to hurry to the bus stop. I didn’t want to miss the bus because they only ran half as many on Sunday. I would have to wait for another half-hour if I didn’t make it.

I was still 100 feet from the corner when the bus arrived at the stop. I waved my arm and hurried as fast as I could. The bus driver opened the door and waited for me. I climbed the steps dropped the coins into the receptacle. I flashed a big smile at the driver and thanked him for waiting for me. He smiled back, tipped his hat, and said, "My pleasure, Miss." There were only a few people on board, and they smiled at me as I walked to my seat. I returned their smiles and sat down. When we arrived downtown, the bus driver stopped me as I started to exit the bus.

He said, "Miss Ramsey, may I have your autograph, please?"

His request caught me totally by surprise, but I recovered when he produced the Sunday paper and indicated that I should sign across the close-up of me. I said, "Of course, what's your name?"

"Fred."

I wrote across the left-hand top corner ‘To my friend Fred’, and across the lower right ‘Love Crystal’. I handed the paper and pen back to him.

He looked at it and smiled broadly, "Thank you, Miss Ramsey. I have tickets to next Saturday’s show. I’m really looking forward to it."

"That’s wonderful. I hope that you enjoy the show. Goodbye Fred."

"Goodbye, Miss Ramsey."

I stepped from the bus and headed for the theatre. People stared openly at me as I walked. I had become accustomed to the stares from men, but today the women were staring as well. As I walked down the alley to the theatre’s stage door, several young girls who pushed my newspaper picture at me and asked for my autograph stopped me. I signed each of their papers, using the personalized message that each requested. When I was done, they thanked me and ran, giggling, back down the alley.

I entered the theatre and the first thing that I saw was the newspaper articles tacked up on the bulletin board. When I entered the makeup room, Marge rushed over and embraced me.

She said, "Crystal, isn’t it wonderful. In all the years that I been doing this, we’ve never had this much attention paid to our little productions. It’s just too marvelous for words."

"Yes, it’s wonderful. Marge?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Do you think that the others will be angry with me?"

"Why should they be angry?"

"Because that theatre critic has made such a big deal over my acting."

"Oh, Crystal. I’m sure that everyone is going to be happy about the recognition that the play is receiving. And you are partly responsible for it. Some people may be a little jealous of your success, but nobody is going to be angry with you because of your talent."

"Thanks, Marge, that makes me feel better."

I went to the wardrobe room to put on my first costume. Barbara was mending a couple of costumes when I entered. Like Marge, she rushed over and hugged me.

She said, "Crystal, honey. The pictures of you in the paper are magnificent. You are the epitome of Miss Prudy."

"Thank you, Barb. But I wish that they had not included so many with me in them. They make it seem like I carry the whole play."

"And so you do. You are, after all, the female lead. The play revolves around your character. And you’re much prettier than Rick."

We both giggled. Barbara helped me to dress. Carol had laced me down tight enough so that Barbara didn’t have to adjust my corset. When I was dressed, I went back to makeup. Most of the cast had arrived by now, and space at the makeup counter was limited. Marge announced that actors appearing in the first scene had priority. My fellow cast members were all talking about the newspaper article as we waited for a place at the counter. When the next space opened up, she signaled me to sit down. As soon as I was seated she started applying my wig. When she finished putting on my stage make-up, I gave up the chair to another actor, and I wandered out the backstage area. I could hear sounds of people filing into the theatre, and finding their seats. Curtain time was still 15 minutes away. I found Debbie sitting on a settee on stage and I sat down next to her.

"Debbie, how are you doing? We haven’t talked in a couple of days."

"I’m fine", was all that she said.

"Come on, talk to me. What’s wrong?"

She looked at me for a few seconds before speaking. "Do you like that boy better than me?"

"What boy, Sean?"

"The one that you left with on Friday night."

"That’s Sean. He’s Pete’s best friend. My sister likes Pete and she wanted me to double with them. I owe my sister a lot and I will do whatever I can to keep her happy. But I’d rather be with you."

"You would? Really?"

"Yes. Really. But we have to be careful about who sees us together. Neither of us wants to acquire a label that will follow us around. By my going out with Sean occasionally, it helps to quell any rumors."

"I see. But you really prefer going out with me?"

"Of course I do."

She smiled at me for the first time. "I’m glad. Do you want to go out on Tuesday?"

"Sure. I’d love to. Let’s talk about it later. We have to get ready for the show right now."

The stage manager was walking around checking on the position of the furniture, props, and scenery. We got up and walked off stage. I went off to be by myself for the rest of the time before the curtain rose. I wanted to get into ‘character’. When the stage manager motioned to us to move to our start positions, I was ready to be Miss Prudy.

The audience at this matinee was every bit as delighted as the previous audiences. When the play was over, they gave us 6 curtain calls. As the theatre emptied we went to the makeup room and removed the stage makeup. The next show was not for 3 hours, so after my makeup was off, and since I would have to change costumes before the next show anyway, I removed my costume and put on my street clothes.

Mr. Tucker had arranged for a buffet to be served between shows, so everybody gathered backstage and prepared a plate from the cold cuts and salads. Debbie and I took our plates and went to the settee where we had sat earlier. I was glad that Debbie was not angry with me. I would have hated to lose her friendship over something that I didn’t even want, but rather that had been thrust upon me. As we ate, we talked about the play. We gossiped and laughed about flubbed lines, bad timing and missed marks. We toned down our conversation a bit as some of the other girls joined us.

Inevitably, the conversation turned to the photo spread in today’s paper. I tried to avoid getting pulled into the conversation, and had succeeded until Patricia Silbey asked me how I felt about the photos.

I said, "I’m embarrassed."

"Why? You look lovely in every photo."

"I’m embarrassed because I’m in so many of the photo’s. It feels like I’m taking more than my share of the publicity."

"Oh don’t be silly, dear. You didn’t pick which pictures that they would use. You just happen to be more photogenic than most of us. Pictures of pretty young girls always sell more tickets than pictures of old ladies."

"All the same I feel like I should apologize to all of you or something."

They all asserted that I was being silly and that I owed no apologies. To the contrary, they said that they owed me thanks for stepping in at the last minute and saving the opening night show. I felt much better after they voiced their support for me.

We had a good time in between the shows, and at 6 o’clock we started to get ready for the evening’s production. All seats were filled when the curtain went up at 8 o’clock. When the curtain rang down after the last scene, this audience also applauded through 6 curtain calls.

It had been a long day and we were all tired, so conversation was subdued as we removed our makeup and costumes. Most of the cast had to be at their regular jobs in the morning, so people didn’t hang around once they were done. Debbie asked me if I wanted a ride home and I accepted. I hadn’t relished another session on the street corner, like I had had last night.

When Debbie stopped in front of my house, she leaned over and kissed me. Instead of just a regular kiss as in the past, she slipped her tongue into my mouth. I pushed it out, and said, "Debbie, the neighbors might be watching. I would like to kiss you but I can’t. Not here. Okay?"

"Okay, dearest. I understand. I’ll just have to control myself until Tuesday night. See you then?"

"Of course. Goodnight. And thanks for the ride home."

"My pleasure, my little love toy."

I gave her a funny look and got out of the car. I turned and waved as I entered the house. She waved back before driving away. I locked the door behind me and climbed the stairs. The house was quiet and I saw no light coming out at the bottom of the bedroom doors, so I assumed everyone to be asleep. I dropped my purse on my dresser and started to undress. The smell of fresh paint was very strong. I looked around and noticed that Mom had painted my room. Mom loved to paint, and repainted every room in the house at least once every 24 months. I guess that it had been about 2 years since my room had last been painted, so it was due.

It was difficult to remove my shoes and stockings, because of the corset, but I finally managed. I tried to loosen the corset laces but I couldn’t, so I sat down, removed my makeup, and got ready for bed. I was so tired from having done two shows today that I fell asleep almost immediately.

When I awoke, it seemed like it was only a few seconds later, but the sun was already up and was shining in through the window. I arose, put on my slippers and went to the bathroom. I felt better after I had washed my hands and splashed some water on my face. I went downstairs to the kitchen and found that I was the last to arrive. Not only that, they had all eaten already. Glancing at the clock, I saw that I had slept almost an hour longer than usual.

After exchanging morning greeting, I sat down at the table. Mom got up and made me a couple of eggs and toast. She brought them over, along with some bacon, and a glass of OJ. I was hungry and I dug in immediately after thanking her. When I had finished, I began to feel like a real person again. I had been feeling a little like a zombie until now. I relaxed and drank the tea that Mom had poured for me. She gave me an antibiotic capsule to take as well.

We just sat around the table and talked for the next hour. I wasn’t needed at the theatre until Thursday night when we would do a run-through of the play to re-sharpen everyone’s timing after 3 days of being off. Carol invited me to go to the Mall with her and Heather today, but I begged off. I told her that I was tired after the hectic pace of the last few days, and I just wanted to relax a little. Mom asked me how the plays had gone yesterday, and I told her that we had answered 6 curtain calls at each performance. I related a couple of amusing little incidents that had happened during the play. With a large cast, there will always be flubbed lines and missteps in any amateur production. Ours wouldn't be an exception.

A short time later, Carol and I went upstairs to take our baths.

As she untied my corset, she said, "Sis, you should have woken me rather than spending a night like that."

"It wasn’t too bad. I’ve gotten used to it by now. And I didn’t want to wake anyone."

"Don’t be silly. Anyone of us would be happy to help you when you get in late. Next time, wake me."

"Okay, Carol. Thanks."

When my bath was ready, I relaxed in the tub and let the warm water soothe my wrinkled torso. When the water started to chill, I got out, dried and powdered myself. It was so wonderful to be able to move unrestricted. Before leaving the bathroom, I knocked at Carol’s door to let her know that I had finished. As I put on my underwear, I heard her running her bath. I put on a clean chemise and then hooked the corset around me again. I tightened it as much as I could, and then sat down at my makeup table to work on my hair. I combed and brushed it until it shone, then put it up in a ponytail.

Carol came in after her bath and tightened my corset for the first time. I walked around the room for a few minutes, than sat down and did my nails. When Carol came back in again, she was fully dressed. She tightened my corset until I could barely breathe, and while I was trying to catch my breath, she finished dressing me. I was outfitted in a very tight skirt, a peasant blouse which showed so much cleavage that it should probably be considered X-rated, and ankle strap heels which seemed to be more than 4 inches. Examining my reflection in the full-length mirror, I commented that she had made me look like a hooker again.

"Crystal, you do not look like a hooker. You look like the young starlet that you are. Wouldn’t it be great if you were discovered and got to go to New York, or even Hollywood? I just don’t want you to look unfashionable in case someone important comes to see you."

"Carol, no-one is going to come see me. Not that they would have any trouble seeing me with the clothes that you keep dressing me in. It’s just that our play, to the professionals, is just another ‘hick’ play in a ‘hick’ town. I am not going to be discovered by any talent scout. I may, however, be discovered by an ambulance driver after I fall off of these stilts that I’m wearing."

Carol giggled. "Oh, Crystal. You’re so funny. I love your sense of humor. No wonder you’re so great in the play."

Mom yelled up from downstairs that Heather was out front in her car, so Carol kissed me and hurried to grab her purse, and leave. I sat down and put on my makeup. When I was satisfied with my face, I put on my earrings, a necklace, several bracelets, and a wristwatch. I took my purse and went downstairs. I got a couple of dollars from Mom and left to catch the bus. Mom asked where I was going, and I told her that I would be at the library. I hadn’t been there since I got involved with the play.

The bus arrived as I neared the bus stop. I waved and hurried to catch it. The driver saw me, opened the door, and waited. When I climbed the stairs, I saw that it was Fred, the driver that had asked for my autograph.

He said, "Good morning, Miss Ramsey. You didn’t have to run like that, I would have waited."

"Thank you, Fred."

He smiled at me, and I know that he was pleased that I had remembered his name.

He said, "Going to the theatre again, Miss Ramsey?"

"No, I have the day off. I’m going to the library today, Fred."

"Okay, I’ll let you know when we’re there. You can just sit back and relax."

"Thank you."

I sat down and marveled at the remarkable changes that I had experienced lately. First, the attitudes towards me that had changed so radically when I had become a woman. People smiled at me, and men went out of their way to be nice. Second, my new status as an actor had seemed to have a profound effect on people. Like Fred, people were even nicer, or a little in awe when they recognized me or thought that they did.

I was awakened from my reverie when Fred said, "Miss Ramsey, here’s your stop."

I got up and exited by the front door after thanking Fred. He had stopped right in front of the library instead of at the corner, so I had only to walk inside. People looked at me at I left the bus, not because they recognized me, but because I was being dropped off in the middle of the block.

I walked into the library and noticed that the photos from Sunday’s paper had been posted on the bulletin board in the foyer. This was the same bulletin board where I had seen the original notice, which announced the need for cast members. I continued on into the library and walked to the fiction section. I perused the titles until I found several books that interested me, then took them and sat at a table. I read through the first several pages of each until I decided on the one that I would read. Rather than sitting in the library, I decided to take the book to the small park across the street.

When I got to the checkout counter, I handed my library card to the librarian. I recognized her but I didn’t acknowledge her since she didn’t know Crystal. She tried to scan my card in but it wouldn’t read. She examined it closely for a minute. I knew that she was trying to read the number.

She said, "I’m sorry, Miss. You can’t use this card. It belongs to somebody else. I will have to confiscate it and return it to its proper owner."

I realized that the card was assigned to my original identity. I said, "It’s my brother’s. I’m sure that he won’t mind me using it. He’s in Dayton for the summer."

"You can’t use somebody else’s card. You'll have to get your own."

Knowing that I must maintain my identity as Crystal, I said, "Okay, I’d like to get a card please."

She handed me an application form, and I filled it out. She examined it and said "Fine, all I need is some form of identification to prove that you are who you say you are."

"I’m afraid that I don’t have anything with me."

"Well, I can’t issue you a library card without it. I’m sorry. It’s a library rule, and it prevents people from giving us false information."

"There must be someway that I can take out a book without having ID. How about if you call my mother. She’ll certainly vouch for me."

"We can’t do that. Do you know anyone on the staff here that can vouch for you?"

The people at the library only knew me as Cary, and there was no way that I would admit to my former identity. I said, "No. No one here can vouch for me. But you do have ten photos of me posted in the library’s foyer."

The woman stared at me for a minute. Then she smiled. "I thought that you looked familiar. You’re Miss Prudy from the Community Theatre. I saw the play on Saturday night. I just loved it, and you were wonderful." She turned and called over two other librarians. She turned back to me and said, "I’m Sylvia. This is Theresa and Elizabeth. Girls, this is Crystal Ramsey. She’s the actress that's playing the role of Miss Prudy in the play that I saw on Saturday. She’s the one that I told you was so wonderful in the play."

All three of the women made a big fuss over me and, bombarded me with questions about the play, caused a commotion inconsistent with proper library etiquette. The noise that they were making brought Mrs. Parker, the head librarian, out of her office. She had a very stern look on her face.

She clapped her hands twice and said, "Ladies, control yourselves. What’s the problem here?"

Sylvia said, "I’m sorry, Mrs. Parker. We got excited about meeting Crystal Ramsey, the star of the play at the Community Theatre."

Mrs. Parker’s face softened, "I see. Miss Ramsey, welcome to our library. I saw your performance on Sunday afternoon. I agree with my co-worker that you were wonderful. I wonder if you wouldn’t mind autographing one of the pictures that we have on our bulletin board?"

"I’d be happy to. And I’m glad that you both have enjoyed the performances. All of my fellow actors have worked very hard to create a wonderful production."

Mrs. Parker said, "I’ll just get the key to the glass doors." She returned to her office.

I said to three librarians, "Now that we have all met, will someone vouch for my identity so that I can take a book out?"

Sylvia said, "Of, course. Just step over here." She motioned to the spot where they shoot the ID pictures.

I smiled when she said to and she fired the camera. The flash temporarily blinded me. She motioned me forward and showed me the picture on the video screen. She said, "Let’s try another one with your head turned just a little more to the left." I returned to the spot and she took another shot. Then she had me stand there while she shot several more. I returned to the counter and we selected the best pose from the pictures that were all shown on the video screen. She printed that one out as an ID size to mount on the library card, and then printed one out as an 8x10 print. Mrs. Parker had returned and was standing nearby watching.

Sylvia said, "Here, Miss Ramsey, sign this one too. We’ll put it on the bulletin board also."

I took the photo and wrote ‘To Sylvia, Theresa, Elizabeth, Mrs. Parker, and all of my wonderful friends at the library’. I signed it ‘Crystal Ramsey’. Then I followed Mrs. Parker and signed the newspaper close-up of me after she had unlocked the glass doors and opened the case. Sylvia pinned up the photo that they had just made, and Mrs. Parker closed and locked the doors again. We walked back inside and Theresa gave me my new card and the book that I was taking out. I started to leave after saying goodbye to the women, but a man who was carrying a picture of me stopped me.

He said, "Miss Ramsey, I’m a fan also. I got Elizabeth to print a copy of your photo for me. Would you autograph it please?"

"Of course. What’s your name?"

He told me and I wrote, ‘To my friend Jake, Love Crystal."

He smiled at me, and I returned his smile and his print, before saying goodbye and leaving the library.

I walked across the street to the mini-park with my book. I found an empty bench, with a towering elm tree behind it that afforded a great deal of shade. I sat down, crossed my legs to protect my modesty, and began to read. I was engrossed in my book as a steady stream of people walked past the bench. But not so engrossed that I failed to notice, from the corner of my eye, how the men all looked at me. I ignored the stares and concentrated on my book. Several times, young men sat down next to me and tried to engage me in conversation. I ignored them also. Usually they gave up after muttering something like ‘stuck up bitch’. Several couldn’t take a hint and I was forced to tell them that I was waiting for my boyfriend. If that didn’t work, I would warn them that he was extremely jealous, and I couldn’t be responsible for what happened to them if he saw them sitting with me. That would usually do it. They would excuse themselves and hurry off to make the meeting that they said that were already late for.

A little after 1 o’clock, I walked to a nearby diner and had a bowl of soup. I read my book as I waited for my order, and during my lunch. Again, I ignored the stares and leers from the other patrons. After I had finished my tea, I returned to the park. Reading until almost 4 o’clock, I put my new library card in the book as a bookmark and walked to the bus stop. Twenty minutes later I was home. Mom and Aunt Jessica weren't at home. There was a chicken defrosting on the top refrigerator shelf, so I removed it and placed it into a pot of warm water to speed up the process. I had seen Mom prepare a chicken like this many times. At 5:15 I put the chicken into the oven that I had preheated to 375. It would be ready to eat at 6 o’clock. I hoped that everybody would be home by then. I had cut up the chicken and laid it all out in a baking pan. I had first lined the pan with a large piece of aluminum foil, and left a long piece of the foil hanging over the side. After putting in two cans of creme of mushroom soup, two cups of white rice, and four cups of water, I pulled the hanging piece over the top and sealed it on the three remaining sides. It was now an airtight baking chamber. When the chicken was done the rice would be cooked as well.

Just before six o’clock, Mom & Aunt Jessica came in from shopping. Mom was surprised to see that I had started the dinner. As soon as they had put their packages away, they joined me in the kitchen and we cooked a package of frozen peas. Aunt Jessica made a salad and some lemonade. Carol came in just as we were about to sit down to dinner.

During dinner, I told them about my experience at the library today, and how I had been asked to autograph the newspaper photos, and the enlargement of the picture that they had taken. I also told them about the bus driver, the girls at the theater, and the man at the library, which had all requested my autograph.

I said, smiling, "I’ve been surprised at my sudden celebrity status. I’m beginning to enjoy my 15 minutes of fame."

Aunt Jessica said, "Remember Crystal, once the play is over, your fame will disappear like smoke in the wind. Don’t get too used to it, and don’t forget the little people."

"What do you mean by ‘the little people’, Aunt Jess?"

"When some people begin to climb the ladder of success, they tend to step on the people below them, who are referred to as the ‘little people’ because they have lesser status. An old maxim says that you shouldn’t mistreat the people that you pass on the way up, because you’ll see them again on your way down. In other words, treat everybody with respect, and don’t forget your true friends."

"That sounds like good advice, but I think that my success will be over long before I could get a swelled head."

"Some peoples heads swell faster than others. But I think that your head has always been screwed on right."

Later that night, as I lay in bed, I contemplated what Aunt Jessica had said. I hoped that I would never get such a swelled head that I forgot my real friends. I couldn’t see that happening, but I had heard that fame could do strange things to people. I really had nothing to worry about since I would be one of the little people again in a couple of weeks, without having known the lofty heights of star status. I knew that I would be content to be just another teenaged girl again when the play was over. I had closed my eyes and started to drift off to sleep before I realized what I had said myself. I came awake immediately. Where had that come from? Why was I thinking that I would be content to be just another teenaged GIRL? I thought about it for a couple of minutes and decided that it was just my tired mind playing tricks on me. I knew that I was going to be a boy again soon.

I closed my eyes again and sleep overtook me. My dreams were as strange as my life had been lately. I dreamed that I was a girl who had been forced to masquerade as a boy. I had to come up with a convincing argument as to why I couldn’t go skinny dipping when all of my friends were going. When my excuse was exposed as a sham, my friends picked me up and carried me to the swimming hole. As several of them held me down, two of them started to strip me. I awoke just as my body, and my secret, was exposed.

 

(Continued in Chapter 11)

 

 

 

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