It gets to the point where you want a story to be over and it is kind of getting close, but wants to fight you every little inch. This is another installment; I hope you like it. There is a huge swing of emotion. Someone commented that no resolution was in sight. There is, believe me there is, I just have to work toward it. There are only a few chapters to go.

 

How Life Can Change

By Little Katie

Part XIX: The After School Mess

 

Emily left her classroom, glad the school day was finally over. She noticed how empty and quiet the school seemed now that everyone had already left. Only the sound of her sneakers squeaking on the floor could be heard. She made her way downstairs and out the front door. Even though she had told her friends to go on home without her, she secretly wished someone had waited. But, except for a few kids playing handball against the side of the school, the area was pretty much empty.

"I guess people must really want to get back to doing nothing after a long summer break," Emily thought to herself.

Emily slid her backpack, which she had been holding in her hand, onto her back. It really wasn't that far of a walk for her, twelve blocks and three houses. Emily had walked it many times and had memorized that number. On days like this, when she walked home on her own, she would count backwards on the way home. First, she would count backwards the blocks, and then the houses. It wasn't the most thrilling thing in the world to do, but it did make the journey seem to go by that much quicker.

Emily walked passed the corner store, she peered in to see if maybe Sean had stopped in to play video games. A bunch of the older kids were in there but no Sean to be found, nor anyone that she knew.

"Better get started." Emily thought, really not wanting to go anywhere near home. But, it had always been a rule that after school you go straight home, do homework and then you could go out and play. All Emily really had to do for homework was a math worksheet and to write her spelling words five times each.

Still, she would rather not be at home, alone with her mother. The little comments were getting to Emily. She didn't know why her mother was being so weird lately. The little switch that her mother played with lunch made Emily not want to even see her mother. Not so much because Emily hated her mom, because she didn't. But more because she was afraid that she would say something hurtful to her mom and make her mother's poor treatment continue that much longer.

Emily was immersed in her thoughts. Thinking about how to handle school, thinking of how to handle her mom, thinking how life as a girl was not as happy as life used to be. Emily was getting the hang of being a girl; in fact she was growing more and more accustomed to it as the days and moments passed by. It seemed to her, that everyone else had a problem with what had happened except her and a few choice people.

"Maybe they need time," Emily thought to herself, "I'm around me being a girl all the time, and they are around me just a little bit at a time. I didn't like it much at first either. Maybe they need to be around me so many hours before they see me for what I am."

Emily had only eight blocks more blocks to go. She kept a running total in her head, and she knew the area well enough that if she forgot to count down once she could adjust on the fly. She trudged on and looked a few times at the clouds.

"Get him!, a voice yelled.

Suddenly, a big arm grabbed Emily around her waist and another went over her mouth as she tried to scream. Emily kicked and squirmed but was pulled into a small alley.

"That's the faggot," a familiar voice said. Emily was turned around and saw Charles and his older cousin, Chris, standing there.

Emily had met Chris a few times when he came to some of the little league games. He was in middle school but as big as any adult she knew.

"Is this your little friend John?" his deep voice bellowed.

"Yeah, see how he's become a faggot," Chris said, "and faggots need to be taught a lesson."

"I'm not a faggot," Emily protested, "I'm a girl, you nimrod."

"Yeah, well prove it." Chris interjected.

"I'm not proving nothing, you can see I'm a girl, look at how I'm dressed."

"That only means you are a sissy faggot," Charles answered. "All you have to do is prove you're a girl and we'll let you go."

Emily knew what he wanted her to do, but there was no way she was going to show this creep any part of her anatomy to prove anything.

"Forget it," Chris said, "we'll just do it ourselves." He laughed.

The laugh caught Emily by surprise; it wasn't one of those light-hearted laughs, but mean and sinister.

Chris big hands reached for her skirt. Emily's hands automatically went down to keep the fabric from being lifted up and revealing anything underneath.

"Help!" Emily yelled and cried as loud as she could.

"Shut up, fag," Chris said as he reared back and punched Emily in the gut.

Emily felt the air rush out of her lungs and she doubled over in pain. She had never felt like this before; it hurt. It hurt a lot.

"See what you did," Charles addressed Emily. "You went and made Chris hit you. That wasn't too smart, now was it? All you have to do is prove you're a girl and then all this will be over with. You're going to prove it one way or the other."

Emily tried to respond but her chest burned as she tried to regain her breath. Charles instructed his cousin to hold Emily up so he could lift the skirt.

Emily felt his big arms interlock with hers. Her arms were held back and she was made to stand tall.

"Now, let's see what the fagot has under his skirt."

Charles lifted Emily's skirt so the elastic was up around her chest. The warm air hit Emily's upper thigh. What normally would be a pleasant feeling was now a sign of danger.

"I don't see any lump," Chris said.

"The faggot probably duct-taped it down; we'll just see."

"No, please," Emily begged.

Charles slapped her across the face. "Shut up, faggot! We're going to prove what you are and if you're lucky, we may not kill you."

Charles hands went to the top of her panties. Emily instinctively crossed her legs in the hope that she would thwart any attempt of having them pulled down.

"What the hell is going on?" a voice called from the edge of the alley.

"None of your business, Montgomery. Just go home," Chris said.

"She's my friend, it is my business," said the voice, sounding determined.

"We are going to prove your faggot friend is still a boy, just being a bigger faggot then usual" Charles said.

"By you being a dick? That makes sense."

"Fuck off, Sean."

Sean made his way down the alley, and was soon in the middle of the trouble. "I said let her go," Sean turned faced Chris, the bigger threat.

Chris still held onto Emily; he tightened his lock and made her wince that much more. Since he towered over her so much, he had had to go on one knee to get leverage.

"I'm warning you," Sean said, "Let her go or I'll…"

"Or you'll what?" Chris said smugly.

With that last word, Sean kicked through Emily's legs and hit Charles in the area that separates the genders. Charles let go, his reflexes trying to pull his body into a protective ball.

"Run," Sean yelled at.

Emily pulled her skirt down and shot out of the alley as if from a gun. She had got her breath back for the moment and she ran all the way to her house, without even realizing it.

It was then that she realized that Sean hadn't run with her.

"Oh, no." Emily thought.

She wanted to go back to make sure that he was okay, but felt afraid.

"He probably went to his house instead," Emily rationalized.

She slumped down on her front step and tried to catch her breath, again. Slow tears rolled down her face as she tried to come to grips with what happened.

"What am I going to do?" Emily asked herself.

"Charles and Chris will certainly try to do this again, I just know it. I hope Sean got out of there, okay. Why do people have to be such idiots?"

So many thoughts swirled around Emily's mind that she lost track of them. Her brain filled up with just one big noise.

"I've got to tell mom; she'll help, I know it," Emily finally concluded.

She leaned against the side of the building, trying to calm herself down. Her heart raced a million beats per second and she still found it difficult to catch her breath. She concentrated on her breathing, trying as hard as she could to slow it down to a normal rate. As soon as she could compose herself, she would go inside and tell her mother what had happened. She knew that no matter how badly they were getting on with each other, her mother would have to do something about what just happened.

Emily finally regained as much composure as she was going to have. She slowly stood up and picked her backpack off the ground. She turned around, opened the door slowly and walked inside.

"Mom, I'm home," She called out in a shaky voice.

"you're late, Mom called back from the kitchen.

"I know, something happened."

"I don't want to hear any lame excuses."

"It's not an excuse, something happened." Emily walked into the kitchen, her eyes welling up with tears.

"What happened," Her mother crossed her arms and taped her left foot.

"Someone tried something."

"Who tried what, I don't have all day you know."

"Charles and his cousin Chris tried to beat me up and take my clothes off."

"Oh, is that so?" Vivian said in mock concern.

"I didn't do anything to them or say anything to them, they just jumped from behind and pulled me into an alley and hit me and pulled my skirt up and tried to take my panties off." Emily cried.

"And why do you think that happened?"

"I don't know because they're jerks."

"You ever think that maybe the problem isn't with them?"

"What do you mean?" Emily asked.

"First, you have a problem with me, then you have a problem at school, your teacher called. Then you have a problem with your friends. Do you think that maybe the problem is just you?"

"But, I didn't do anything," Emily protested.

"Sure you didn't," Mom mocked her.

"How did I make someone try to undress me?" Emily yelled.

"The same way you tried to get me in trouble. You were a great son, and I'm sorry I lost him. What do I get in return? You, a little slut, a little whore."

"How can you say that?" Emily tried to hold back the tears and be strong but failed. She sobbed uncontrollably at the things her mother was saying.

"Because it's the truth. Let's look at your track record, no friends, you try to ruin my marriage, you cause nothing but trouble. It would have been better if you died in that crash taken to have you do what your doing."

"But I didn't do anything," Emily tried to make sense of all that was going on.

"Right, sure you didn't. Everyone does stuff to you because they're out to get you. You never do anything wrong, nothing is your fault. Get real."

"How can you say that? I get beat up and someone tries to undress me and it's my fault?"

"I think if you are honest you will see that it most likely is, just like everything else. Little whores get what they deserve."

Emily cried more, "don't you care about me?"

"Listen, honey," Mom got down on one knee, "listen real good, I'm part of the me generation, I care only about me and not some little tart."

Emily couldn't bear to hear any more. She turned away and ran out the door as fast as she could. She didn't even have a clue as to where she was might be going, she just knew that she had to be elsewhere. Anywhere but in front of a woman she had once called mom, but no longer felt she even knew.

She ran on instinct and before too long she found herself on Sean's block.

"Maybe I should go and see that he is okay," Emily thought to herself. "I certainly hope he didn't get hurt or nothing."

Emily found herself once again out of breath. She slowed down and walked toward the Montgomery house, hoping to somehow regain control of herself.

"Maybe mom was right," Emily sobbed quietly inside, "maybe I am causing these problems."

Emily made her way to the door and rang the bell. She looked inside through a small window. She saw Mrs. Montgomery walking towards the door.

"Been kind of expecting you," Mrs. Montgomery said softly.

Emily wanted to at least say hello, but the words never materialized. She just looked back at Sean's mother and began to weep.

"Oh, come here, let it out." Barbara opened her arms and got down on one knee. Taking the cue, Emily leapt into the embrace. Barbara wrapped her arms around the quivering child, providing much needed warmth and safety.

"It's ok, cry; let it out." Barbara reassured. "You're safe now, no one is going to hurt you here."

Emily buried her face into Barbara's shoulder and cried like she never had before. She didn't know if she cried because of the attack or because of her mother's treatment afterwards. She just knew that her soul was full of sadness and if she didn't cry she felt that her heart would explode from the tears.

Emily must have stayed inside Barbara's comforting embrace for a good five minutes or so. She cried until there was no more water in her to make tears. Her bottom lip still quivered, her mind full of so many thoughts that she couldn't make sense of even one of them.

"Come on, let's go inside to the living room and talk this whole thing out. Then we will decide what we ought to do, okay?" Barbara said softly, almost in a whisper.

"Okay," Emily trembled.

Barbara led her by the hand into the living room; a floral print couch occupied the center of the room, an end table on each side and a large glass table directly in front it. Emily sat down and grabbed one of the throw pillows. She wrapped her arms around it and with all her strength hugged it to her, trying to hold on to something.

"Some one is worried about you?"

"Who?"

"Who do you think? Let me get him while I make a phone call."

"Oh, okay," Emily realized that she was talking about Sean, her mind still not thinking straight.

Barbara made her way to the kitchen. Emily watched closely as the door swung close behind her.

"She's here." Barbara said.

"For real?" Emily heard Sean's voice.

"Yes, for real, she is sitting in the living room."

"She probably doesn't want to see any boys right now."

"I think, for you, she will make the exception."

"She might not want to see me like this."

"Stop being silly, you're still gorgeous."

"Ya," Emily called out, "Stop being silly."

Emily watched the door to the kitchen slowly open. First Sean's shoe appeared, then his leg. Emily could see a nastily scraped knee. Then his torso, finally all of Sean made it out in open view. He held a steak over the left side of his face. It was held in such a way that it covered him from eye to lip.

"Hi," Sean said meekly.

"So, you didn't win the fight." Emily tried to make light of the situation, even though she felt terrible because she knew he got hurt sticking up for her.

"What do you mean I didn't win, you haven't seen the other two."

"Well, you have a steak on your eye."

"I do?" Sean said in a shocked tone.

"Yes, you do," Emily managed a grin.

"Thank heavens, I thought I really got it bad. Thought maybe my face fell off or something. didn't know I was holding dinner. Got any A-1?"

"You're so silly." She kept smiling at him, it didn't hurt so much that way.

"Sometimes it's the best way to handle things when people get all stupid and try to pull stupid stuff."

"Sometimes it's hard to be silly, especially when the stupid stuff keeps happening to you."

"Well, I'm sorry it did happen to you. Some people can be such idiots," Sean told her. He decided not to comment on the tears still leaking down her face.

"Well, I'm sorry you got hurt over me."

At that moment, Barbara made her way back to the living room. She sat down on the other end of the couch, letting Sean and Emily sit a little closer to each other.

"I called your dad," Barbara told Emily.

"Oh?"

"I told him what happened, and that you were okay. I also told him you were here; he is going to pick you up as soon as he is done working. That won't be until seven or so, is that okay?"

"It's okay with me." She nodded firmly if sadly.

"Good, I think it could give us some time to talk."

"Okay," Emily said softly.

"Sean," Barbara addressed her son, "I think what this occasion calls for is some ice cream, how about you go to the store and get some."

"No need mom, there is some in the freezer."

"Get some more." Barbara smiled, "In fact, instead of going to the corner store, head to the supermarket and get the good stuff."

"Sure, I'll get something real good." Sean understood that his mother wanted to take some time to talk to Emily and that the store run was just a cover-up to get him out of the house. He wished she had just come out and said it, and maybe gave him money to play video games. Either way he'd be out of her hair.

"You know where my purse is, take 5 dollars, that should cover everything while you're out." Barbara gave him a knowing wink.

Sean went to the kitchen and put the steak back in the refrigerator. He took the five dollars, knowing that his mom wanted him to take his time and do whatever the 2.50 in change would allow him to do.

"Okay, I'll probably be a while," Sean called out as he walked out the front door.

"Looks like it's just us girls," Barbara turned and faced Emily.

"Yeah," was all Emily could mutter. There was so much that she wanted to say. With so many thoughts churning in her head, she didn't know where to begin.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Barbara tried to lead Emily in some sort of direction.

"Well, I was walking home from school, and Charles and his dumb cousin jumped me."

"That must have been scary."

"Yeah." Emily cried softly. "I never been so scared in my life, never even once."

"Did they just hit you, or something else?" Barbara tried to determine the full extent of what happened.

"They wanted to prove that I was really a girl."

"How did they do that, honey?"

"Chris held my arms back and Charles lifted my skirt."

"Did they do anything else?"

"Charles tried to pull my undies down but I crossed my legs real tight and stopped them."

"Did they touch anywhere, you know, where they should never touch you?" Barbara looked down at Emily's crotch, giving Emily an idea what she was talking about.

"Oh, no, Sean came before they could do anything bad. They thought I still had a boy part there and didn't even touch. No, no touching, not even over the undies."

"Good thing Sean came."

"Yeah, who knows what those idiots would have done. They think I'm still a boy and I'm just pretending."

"I think they know better then that."

"Then why would they want to look?"

"Who knows with some people?"

"I didn't make them do it, did I?" Emily asked earnestly.

"No. No; not at all. Who would give you such an idea?"

"My mom; she said maybe all this bad stuff keeps happening because I keep making it happen."

"Your mom is wrong, dead wrong. You didn't cause any of this to happen."

"Why doesn't she care about me then? I told her all this and she said it was my fault."

"I don't know why she would say such a thing. I think your mom has a lot of things she needs to work out on her own."

Emily told Barbara all about the day at school. About her new teacher and all the things that had been said to her. She talked about how the teacher didn't know about her accident and her new name. About having rocks in her lunch box, even though she knew she packed her own sandwich the night before. She told Barbara about the note and about how everyone gave a little something, so Emily wouldn't be hungry. She told her about getting music class and about the art teacher. She talked about having to stay after class and why that was the reason to why she didn't walk home with Sean after school. A good half hour went by before Emily finished telling about her day.

"You know what you need?" Barbara asked.

"No. What?"

"An advocate."

"An advo-what?"

"An advocate is someone who looks out for you and speaks for you, so you get what you need and are treated fairly."

"I definitely need one of those," Emily responded. "Want to be mine?"

"If you want."

"I do."

"I'm happy to do so; looks like someone who should be doing it has dropped the ball.

Emily realized that she was talking about her mother without ever hearing Barbara mention her mother's name.

"Come here, you," Barbara said as she opened her arms.

Emily slipped onto her lap and got a hug.

"you're a very special person and you deserve only good things. You didn't deserve what those boys tried to do and you didn't deserve the hurtful things that were said to you today. You know that, right?"

"I guess," Emily said.

"You know that, right?" Barbara said more forcefully and then tickled Emily's ribs.

"Yes, I know it," Emily laughed.

"I'm back." Sean called from the kitchen.

"He came through the back," Barbara explained.

"Oh, I thought maybe he turned invisible for a second." Emily smiled.

"Well, I'm going to go and see what he bought. We have dinner first then you can get a big bowl, okay?"

"Okay. We aren't having steak are we?" Emily joked.

"No," Barbara smiled, "Macaroni and cheese, I hope that is okay."

"It's my favorite." Emily said. It wasn't her all time favorite, but she did like it a lot.

"Good," Barbara said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Mom," Emily heard Sean in the kitchen, "Can we go into my room for a while?"

"Yes, but keep the door open, understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

Sean made his appearance through the door, this time, without the steak covering his face. Emily could see the black eye and the swollen lip. She felt sad that it had to happen to him, but was at the same time was glad he was there to rescue her.

"Want to go to my room?" Sean asked

"Sure, just keep the door open." Emily smiled.

Sean lead the way back to his room; it was--amazingly--cleaner then usual. Emily sat down on the bed; she grabbed a football shaped pillow and squeezed it. Sean sat down next to her, but made sure to leave a half-person space in between them.

"Your eye looks like it hurts." Emily said.

"Nah, the eye is fine, it's the bruise that really hurts." Sean laughed.

"I'm sorry you had to get hurt."

"What are you sorry for, you didn't do anything?"

"Yeah, but you got it protecting me, so it's kind of my fault."

"Nope, no way. Anyway if you hit me, I bet the damage would be ten times worse." Sean smiled.

"If you say so." Emily grinned and chuckled lightly.

"Hey, look at what I got," Sean reached in his pocket.

"What is it?" Emily looked in his hand

"It's a tooth."

"Ouch, that must of hurt."

"I hope it did."

"Huh?" Emily said confused.

"It's not mine, it's Chris'." Sean beamed.

"Wow."

"Yeah, I got a souvenir for my heroics."

"I wanted to ask you about that."

"About what?"

"Why did you do it?" Emily asked.

"Do what?"

"Stick up for me, silly."

"That's what I'm suppose to do. Boys are supposed to stick up for girls."

"But you're the only boy that is still my friend. The rest seem to hate me."

"Nah, they are just stupid, besides there is another reason."

"Really, what?" Emily asked eagerly.

"you'll think I'm weird."

"I already think you're weird, tell me?"

"you'll laugh."

"No I won't," Emily reassured.

"Okay. I kind of like you."

"I like you to."

"Not like that, I mean like

like."

"Oh, why?" Emily asked.

"I don't know. Because you're pretty and nice, I guess."

"Oh." Emily didn't know what to say. She just looked at Sean. His poor lip was probably throbbing, she thought. His eye must not feel that much better, either.

"See, told you it was silly."

"No, you said I would think you were weird."

"Same difference."

"Not really," Emily slid closer to Sean, gazing at his eye, and then into it.

"So you think I'm weird then."

"I think..." Emily paused, trying to comprehend the emotion she was feeling. "I think this." Emily tilted her head slightly and gently kissed Sean on the lips.

Sean immediately turned at least ten different shades of red. He stayed in the same position for a second until Emily finished her kiss.

"What was that for?" Sean blushed.

"For saving a damsel in distress." Emily blushed back.

"I never kissed anyone before." Sean said.

"Me neither, hope you didn't mind."

"I certainly did mind, now kiss me to make up." Sean joked.

"Okay," Emily didn't understand why she said okay. She didn't even understand why she had kissed Sean in the first place. All she knew is that for some reason it felt right, and for some reason she had a lot of feelings for Sean. A lot of feelings that were much different from the feelings she had before.

"Really, you mean you'll kiss me again."

"Yes," Emily grinned, "the first one wasn't fair, I caught you off guard."

Sean moved toward Emily as she tilted her head once more. He was determined that this time it would be he who would did the kissing. They each parted their lips slightly and gently placed them on each other's. As softly as he could, Sean kissed Emily. They stayed there for a few seconds, both unsure just how long a kiss was supposed to last. In a moment too brief for either of them however, the kiss was over.

"Wow," Sean said, "If I knew this was the reward, I would've got beaten up a long time ago."

Emily laughed, "Now, don't go looking for fights; you only get one for the black eye and one for the fat lip."

"Oh," Sean frowned, "So I'm all out."

"I didn't say that." Emily grinned. "Just enough for today."

"Well, I liked it."

"Me too."

Sean put his arm around Emily's shoulder as she leaned into him and rested in his embrace. Both being new to such feelings, they didn't really know what else to do. The two just sat there on the bed, in each other's arm. Thinking about the kisses that, they each wondered what this meant for their relationship.

"Dinner's ready you two," Barbara said as she poked her head in the door.

"Okay, Mom," Sean said.

"Okay Aunt Barbara," Emily said as she walked out the door in front of them both.

"You two make a cute couple." Emily heard Barbara whisper to her son. Emily could almost feel the warmth of Sean's blushes without having to turn around.

The trio went into the dining room, Sean held out the chairs for both his mother and Emily. The two kids sat next to each other and occasionally played footsies under the table. After a bowl of macaroni and cheese and some pleasant dinner conversation, they each had a bowl of Rocky Road ice cream.

"Okay," Barbara said, "since you have company tonight, I will clear off the table."

"Thanks, Mom," Sean said.

"Why don't you two go into the living room, Emily's dad should be here in about fifteen minutes or so."

Sean pulled out the chair for Emily and the two walked hand in hand into the living room.

"Wait right here, okay." Sean told Emily. He disappeared back into his room and a minute later came back out holding his baseball jacket.

"I kind of want you to wear this," Sean said softly.

"Why?" Emily asked.

"Well," Sean struggled for the words, "Usually when a girl wears a boy's jacket it kind of means that she's his girlfriend."

"Oh, well shouldn't you ask me that first." Emily grinned.

"Well, would you be my girlfriend, Emily?"

"don't you care what the others would think?"

"Heck no, I care about what you think."

Emily smiled. "Sure, I'll be your girlfriend."

Sean contained himself, even though he wanted to shout out "woohoo." "Great," he wound up saying, "really cool." Sean put the jacket on Emily.

Emily smiled back and gave Sean a kiss on the cheek. The two sat down on the couch and watched a sitcom while holding hands.

Only fifteen minutes had passed when John knocked at the door, he'd come to pick up his daughter.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on her." John told Barbara.

"don't mention it, it is always a pleasure."

"You ready to go?" John asked his daughter.

"Yes, Daddy."

The two walked over to the car, John opened the door for his daughter and then got in on his side.

Sean watched from inside the door as they drove away.

"Come inside, and do your homework, you little Casanova," Barbara teased Sean.

"If this happened a week ago, I'd have had something much better to write about what I did over summer." Sean smiled. His mother mussed his hair as he walked back to his room.

Continued...

 

Sometimes it is difficult to write and sometimes it is a real joy. This chapter was both. A lot of this story is more therapy for me then it is a work of fiction. A lot of what happened is a spin on an actual event in my life, especially the first half. People hate the mother, and rightfully so. The person that Emily calls Mom is modeled after the person who I call the same thing. So, you can see how I work out my problems.

  

  

  

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