Weehee, are we having fun yet or what? Oh, the world awaits young Emily, but at least she's out of the hospital. Poor little thing was getting bored. Leave comments please.

 

How Life Can Change

by Little Katie

Part 4: Overwhelmed

 

At dawn, the air in the hospital room felt crisp and cool. Emily looked out the open hospital window and watched the pink sky turn blue.

"How funny that is, the sky is going pink to blue and I'm going blue to pink," she thought, musing on the irony of the situation. A tear welled up in her eye. "I'm going out there today, and I don't know anything anymore. Are people going to make fun of me? I feel so scared."

Her lower lip trembled as a million thoughts flooded her brain and she couldn't make sense of any of them. The only constant sensation had become one of fear and uncertainty. "Why couldn't I have died?" she cried and pulled the blanket over her head. Under the cover, she pulled her plush animal close to her chest and wept uncontrollably.

Emily stayed there for quite some time, but slowly ther tears stopped. She lay still under the covers and listened to the silence. It felt very peaceful actually. She heard nothing except the hum of the air conditioning unit. Enjoying the peaceful moment, she stayed hidden from the world the only way she knew how.

Slowly she became aware of other sounds. She listened to herself breath, slow, deep rhythmic breaths. She folded her arms around her chest, keeping her plush animal close to her body. She began to hear her heart beat, slow and steady.

She felt her blood pulsing elsewhere, she hadn't been quite ready for that sensation. She placed the toy gently to her side, making sure she didn't disturb her blanket fortress. Her hands slowly lifted her nighty to her waist. She lay still for a second, listening to make sure no one else was around.

Finally certain it must be safe, she gently placed her hand on her vagina. Without any movement, she rested her small hand on her new anatomy and waited to see what happened. It throbbed slightly underneath her hand, like feeling a pulse but in an area completely foreign to her. She felt very self-aware of what she was doing, and she pictured her position in her mind's eye. For some reason, this caused her some excitement and a new feeling welled up in her belly once more.

The new area got warmer and the pulse seemed stronger. Emily felt she could almost enjoy this feeling, and she had the urge to explore more, to experiment with this newfound sensation. But, an overwhelming feeling of shame came over her. She didn't know why, but she quickly removed her hand and pulled down her nighty. She took a deep breath and emerged from her place of solitude.

She looked around the room, imagining that perhaps someone was watching, but not a soul was present.

She looked at some of the cards and balloons that decorated her room. All had the same sentiment, Get Well Soon. She was glad to see them, even if the notes were redundant. She looked at the balloon that was made to look like an oversized baseball. It had a big construction paper card attached and everyone drew pictures and signed it.

"Well, at least they made me a card, if not visited" Emily thought. "Still it would have been nice to see some more people. Too busy with their own things, making fun of girls and playing in the dirt was more important then spending just two minutes with me. Some friends, I wonder what they are going to do when they find out about me? Probably make fun of me like all the other girls. Maybe they'll understand and not treat me different. Doubtful."

Emily was amazed that she was starting to see herself as a girl. True the outside was that of a girl, but the inside, on the inside a war was raging. In one moment she was content with what she was, willing to face the fate that life brought her and in the next she loathed her existence and thought that even death would be a more preferable end then to live as a fraud.

The war inside had consumed her emotionally, but the body on the outside felt worn out physically. Between the pain and rebuilding, the emotional uncertainty and the overwhelming boredom, Emily drifted asleep.

Sleep was a better place of solitude for Emily, inside her dreams she could wage war with herself in peace. The two beings occupying the same body, could reason their case. The body of John would plead to remain a boy, drawing upon a lifetime of experiences. The body of Emily would plead about the new adventures that they would have, and drew upon the facts of the present. It didn't really matter what was said, the arguments always wound up in a draw and anything gained was inconsequential.

But, as the days passed, Emily was at least getting used to her new body, even comfortable in the fact of who and what she was, but that was only when she was by herself. Half-sleeping in the cool hospital room, her hand once again wandered under her nighty. She gently rubbed the new skin; the sensation of warmth filled her face and torso. Slowly she let go of her surroundings and it was just her.

She pictured herself in a grassy field, the warm sun hitting her bare flesh. She felt free here, at ease with being a girl. In reality, she still gently rubbed the outer skin, yet in her dream she was running and jumping and laughing. The two really didn't add up, at least not to Emily when she was aware of both her dream and reality. She opened her eyes, and the sun was higher in the sky. A feeling of shame came to her, not at strong as the other times, but she still felt like she was doing something wrong. Once again she adjusted the nighty and placed her hands on the outside of the covers, where they could do no harm.

Emily turned on the television and watched some of the early morning cartoons. This too was another escape, an escape from thinking about what she was and an escape from the boredom. The door slowly opened and nurse Rose came in, smiling as usual. "How's my favorite girl?" she cheerfully asked.

"I'm doing o.k. I guess." Emily gave a half smile.

"Worried about facing the world, huh?"

Emily just nodded and gave a small pout. She turned off the T.V to give the nurse her undivided attention.

"Well, I don't think you will have anything to worry about." Rose said as she pulled a chair to the side of the bed. "In fact, I think a girl as sweet and polite as you are will go far in the world."

"I don't know, I just think people will hate me or something."

"Oh no, no one hates sweet, polite, pretty girls." Rose said as she placed ointment gently on the child's forehead.

"I'm not pretty."

"I disagree, and when you get confidence in who you are, you will agree."

"Will I ever have confidence?"

"Baby, you are going to do just fine."

"You say that like you know it's a fact."

"It is a fact, that's why."

"How do you know?" Emily leaned forward, as if a big secret was going to be revealed.

"Because, you adapt quick, if I said you were my favorite girl a week or so ago, you would of bit my head off or cried."

"Oh," Emily said, remembering some of her previous outbursts. "Sorry" she added meekly.

"Nothing to be sorry about, it's a big change. Anyway I see you getting more and more comfortable with yourself."

"How's that?" Emily was afraid maybe some of her earlier exploration did get discovered after all.

"By your smile, by the way you don't always look away when people look at you, like you did the first few days. You had some of us worried. You're a sweet girl, and that makes people care about you."

Emily blushed and turned away in embarrassment. It was true that she was getting more comfortable with being a girl, around those that knew. Still her greatest concern was those that didn't know yet. The nurse pulled down the covers, the gentle breeze brought Emily back to reality.

"O.K we got to do this too, up with that nighty."

Emily raised her butt off the hospital bed and lifted up the nighty. Revealing her vagina to the nurse had never been an issue, she never knew why either.

"You getting use to having one yet?" The nurse asked while attending to her duties.

"I don't really know, I haven't even gotten from bed to go potty."

"That's something you will learn quick, here we made sure not to give you to much liquids to avoid trauma."

"Huh?" Emily didn't understand what was said.

"We didn't want you to go wee so you wouldn't bust." The nurse laughed as she finished up. Emily noticed the lack of sensation down there, from when the nurse touched her. It wasn't like when she touched herself before and it definitely wasn't like when the doctor had touched her in front of her mother.

"But soon you will learn how to go like a girl, it's not that hard, you sit down and nature does the rest," The nurse said as Emily came back from her thoughts.

"I guess, I haven't really thought of it."

"Well, I am done here, if you want to pull your nighty down you can." Nurse Rose said while realizing it had taken Emily longer then usual to recover herself.

"Oh, yeah I forgot." Emily laughed and adjusted herself. "I can't wait to get out of this nighty."

"I'm sure the boys will be thinking the same thing soon," Rose joked.

"Huh, Oh yeah," Emily said as she finally caught onto the joke. "I meant because I been wearing it so long, it feels like it's dirty."

"I understand, my little princess patient is going home, finally." Rose made an exaggerated voice, in a teasing tone.

"Finally is right," Emily smiled, wanting to leave the hospital.

"Well, soon, your mom and little sister were filling out some paperwork."

"That's not my sister, that's my," Emily really wanted to say girl friend, but paused. "That's my friend Jessie."

"Oh, I see," Rose gave a little wink. "Any way, you have been a very special patient and I got you a little something."

"Aw, you didn't have to."

"I know, but I did anyway." Nurse rose reached went outside to her nursing cart and brought back a neatly wrapped package. It was white paper, with the words you're special written in pink all over. The pink ribbon was tied very carefully and was in the exact center of its panel.

"This is great, really." Emily said and she carefully undid the bow, taking special care not to tear into it. She never opened a package in this manner before, but she really wanted to save it, because getting the gift alone made her feel special. She finally got to the box inside the wrapping, opening it up revealed a small silver tiara and a few butterfly hair clips.

"I love them," Emily exclaimed, "thank you, oh, so very much."

"I'll miss you, such a polite little girl is hard to find." Nurse rose bent down and kissed Emily on her forehead. Emily smiled back and mouthed thank you. Nurse Rose walked out the room, turned back just before leaving, "You be real good to yourself, and know who you are on the inside and you will do just fine." She left the room, closing the door gently.

Out of all things that happened, good or bad, Emily new that she would miss nurse Rose. If it wasn't for the joy of finally going home, she may have even cried at leaving a new friend.

After watching some more morning cartoons, Mom finally entered the room, carrying with her a small duffel bag and Jessie entering one step behind.

"Guess what, kiddo, you're going home." Mom said enthusiastically.

"Yippee," Jessie said while throwing some confetti over Emily.

"You said it, I can't wait. Look at what nurse Rose got me." Emily showed her mother and Jessie the tiara and the hair clips.

"Wonderful, you can wear the hair clips today, I think the tiara can wait for a special occasion."

"Okay, Mommy," Emily smiled.

"Well, let's get you ready, we are going to go out to eat on this special occasion and you need to look your best."

"Isn't Dad here?" Emily asked, worried that he might not of shown.

"Of course, silly, he is waiting in the lobby finishing some paper work and giving us time to get you dressed."

Emily was relieved, it had crossed her mind that she and her father might grow apart, now that she wasn't his little man.

"O.K. let's do that hair first." Mom pulled out a brush from the bag and a pair of scissors. She brushed the shoulder length hair backwards, being very cautious of the scar. She grabbed the back of the hair gently, and but a hair tie around it, forming a small ponytail. "This way we can keep the hair up off your back and it wont be so hot." Her mother explained. She then brushed some of the hair in the front forward, Emily could see some of the hair right in front of her eyes. Her mother took the scissors and made the length even and just above the child's eyebrows. Emily never had bangs before, or worn her hair in a manner even close to this. It felt a little uncomfortable feeling the hair touch her forehead. "How's that?" Mom asked.

"Beautiful." Jessie chimed in, "Don't forget these." She added while handing Emily's mother the hair clips.

"Oh, can't forget these," She placed one on each side of Emily's head.

Emily was a little nervous, she just submissively sat there as her hair was done. Her mom reached in and pulled out a small hand mirror, some powder and lip gloss.

"Okay. Let's get your face done."

Emily looked at the lip-gloss. "No way, I'm not wearing lipstick."

"Come on, try it."

"No, I'm not wearing any makeup."

Her mom frowned a little bit, but decided that this wasn't a fight worth having at the moment. Besides she didn't want her daughter wearing makeup until she was a teen anyway, except on special occasions.

"Oh, o.k. you don't have to. Here take a look and tell me what you think." Mom hid her disappointment about the makeup and handed Emily the hand mirror.

Emily was afraid what she would see. She figured she'd look like a boy in a girl's hairdo. She raised the mirror in front of her face, but closed her eyes.

"I did my best to hide the scar." Her mom said trying to be reassuring.

Slowly Emily opened her eyes and looked in the mirror. Her mouth opened slightly. Her mom didn't know if it was in amazement or in terror.

"What's wrong baby?" Her mother asked.

"That's, that's, it's a girl in there."

Her mom laughed, "What did you expect?"

"A boy pretending."

"Nope, that's you, our little girl."

"You're absolutely gorgeous, darling" Jessie quipped.

Emily and her mother laughed. "I guess" Emily said, still in a state of half shock.

"Ok, Mrs. I Guess, lets get out of that bed and out of that nighty and get dressed. Chop, chop."

Emily put her feet of the sides of the bed. She hadn't been standing too much over the last week or so. She cautiously placed her bare foot on the cold tile floor. Gently she stood up, her legs still a little sore. With unsure footing she stood up completely, afraid that her legs would give out from under her.

"You okay?" Jessie asked, going over to Emily. Emily placed her hand on Jessie's shoulder.

"I'll be okay, just sore."

"Okay, kiddo, off with the nighty." Her mom teasingly commanded.

"But mom, what about Jessie?"

"What about her?"

"She'll see my... um?"

"She's got one herself you know?"

"Oh, but, she hasn't seen, well" Emily fumbled for an excuse.

"I won't laugh or nothing, I promise." Jessie said, trying to put Emily at ease.

"Sure, why not, I've been wanting you to see me" Emily stopped mid-sentence.

"Young lady," her mom scolded, "Don't think I didn't know what you were about to say, we'll have none of that, understand?"

"Sorry, Mommy." Emily blushed. She pulled up her nighty, partly to take it off and partly to hide her red face. She finally took it all off and handed it to her mother. Her mother took extra care to fold it neatly. Emily thought she took too long seeing the predicament she was in. Standing in front of Jessie naked may at one point have been a fantasy, now she felt inadequate. Especially with the feelings she had revealed to Jessie, just a few short days ago.

"Lets get you cleaned... I heard you didn't get a sponge bath these few days."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, can't go out stinky, can you?"

"No."

Emily's mom filled a little basin with warm water. She gave Jessie one hand towel and took the other. "Now, Jessie, don't wash the scars, it will hurt okay?" Jessie nodded and started to soap up the towel. Her mom started soaking the other towel as Jessie started to wash Emily's body. Emily stood there, wanting to object, but afraid of being reprimanded.

"Honey," her mom said softly, "I know that this isn't ideal, but it's not something you can do on your own yet. I'm very sorry if you are not comfortable, but it's just us girls here, nothing to be embarrassed about, okay?"

"I can't help it, I feel like an idiot."

"I know, no one likes not being able to do for themselves."

Jessie had already soaped up Emily's arms and was working on her belly. She skipped avoided the scar and then moved to the back. She soaped up the back while Emily's mom rinsed the soap off the front. Jessica washed Emily's backside and went down to the legs, Emily started to shiver from being exposed to the cold tile so long. Jessie worked her way back up the legs. Jessie then placed the towel on Emily's vagina and began to rub.

"Hey!" Emily jumped backwards, her muscles not ready for such a reaction caused her to fall to the ground.

"What?" Both Jessie and Emily's mother asked.

"She touched my cunny."

"Jessie, I didn't say to touch that."

"You said everywhere." Jessie tried to explain.

"Well I didn't mean there, that's private property, you wouldn't want Emily to touch you there."

"I wouldn't stop her."

"Young lady, for shame, you might talk like that with your Mom, but not in front of me, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mrs. Corsi, I'm sorry."

Emily's mom helped her to her feet and began to rinse the soap off. "Now, say you're sorry to Emily."

"Sorry, Emily, I didn't mean to scare you."

Emily just nodded, but was thinking more about how Jessie said she wouldn't stop her if she tried. "Why do I always find things out too late," she thought to herself while try to imagine the situation. She quickly dismissed it, afraid people may be able to read her thoughts.

"All done," her mom announced, "Now we can get dressed."

Her mom pulled out a pair of undies. They were white with little purple hearts on them. She handed them to Emily and told her to put them on. Emily stared at them, they looked different then any other pair she had ever worn. They didn't even look the same shape as other pairs she had worn.

"For a person that didn't want to be naked, you certainly are taking a long time to remedy that." Her mom said.

"I don't know how."

"How, what?"

"How to put them on." She held the pair up to her mother. "Which way is the front."

Her mother turned the pair around. "There you go."

"How did you know, where is the hole."

Emily's mom laughed, just realizing that an ex-boy wouldn't know such a thing yet. "Ours don't have a hole, you got to pull them down for what you are thinking. The way you tell is look at the tag in the leg, it always goes on the left."

"Okay, left." Emily pulled the cotton panties up her legs; they felt different too. They felt softer and more snug. She carefully pulled the waistband to the scar. She winced a little bit as the elastic first made contact with her wound. A few seconds though the pain subsided and she relaxed her face.

"How's that feel?" Her mom asked.

"Different." It was only a word, but it was the most accurate description she could come up with, without spending a few hours saying why it felt that way.

"No pain though."

"Only at first, but it went away fast."

"Good, we were worried you'd be too hurt to wear them. Are they too tight." Emily's mom felt along the elastic towards her backside and felt the elastic in the legs.

"Mom! Quit." Emily exclaimed while pulling away.

"Just making sure they were the right size for you. They are and now I won't ever have to check. Just remember what it feels like so when you need bigger you can tell me."

"O.K. geesh, this is a lot to remember."

"You'll learn, its easy, and you can get different kinds to, like mine." Jessie said as she lifted up her skirt, revealing what looked like a piece of cloth between her legs being held by a thick white rubber band.

"Young lady, please, it is not a nice thing to do, to flash your undies at people, we are suppose to be teaching Emily how to be a lady. You are not being a good example." Mrs. Corsi reprimanded once again.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just behave or wait outside."

"I'll be good, I promise." Jessie frowned.

"I'm sorry for being short with you, I know we are all doing the best we can." Mrs. Corsi put her arm around Jessie, realizing that she was dealing with young girls, not young adults.

"Okay, lets hurry up and finish." Emily's mom pulled out an all white garment.

"I thought I was going to wear the dress in the closet."

"You are silly."

"Then what's with the dress in your hand?"

"This isn't a dress silly, it's a slip, you wear it under your dress so boys don't see your goodies."

"A dress under a dress, that sounds dumb."

"Well, you'll know why when you're older. Now lift your arms." Emily did and her mom lowered the slip over her head carefully. She smoothed it out and made sure it was as perfect as possible. It was very soft.

Emily liked the feeling of all the softness of her clothes but didn't let on. She looked down and saw a small bow at her chest, and the lacey work of the top.

Her mom then went to the closet and got the simple dress that was hung there. "Back up with those arms." Emily did as was told and the dress was placed on her. The dress left her arms bare and came to just above the knee. "O.K. look in the mirror, tell me what you think."

Emily's mom opened the bathroom door, which revealed a full size mirror on the other end. Emily once again felt shocked at the reflection. Even more so now that she got the complete picture. There was no hint of the boy she had been just a while ago.

Looking back at her, she saw a cute little girl with a button nose, her hair combed into a ponytail and the butterfly hair clips accenting the look perfectly. Her white dress was bright and clean, the pink border that lead to the skirt part of the dress gave just the right amount of contrast. Even her little arms and legs gave the look that this was a precious girl. She blushed as she realized this, and the blushing only added to the look.

"Th-th-that's me?" she stammered.

"Yes, aren't you adorable." Jessie chimed in and her mother agreed.

"Yeah," Emily sighed.

"Okay, almost done, sit in the chair." Emily followed her mother's directions. Her mother then pulled out a pair of socks and placed them on Emily's feet. They only came up to her ankle and had two layers of ruffles. She next placed a pair of white shoes on her feet, and then strapped the front part. The shoes were narrower then what Emily had ever worn and had a small heel in the back. Emily got up and took a few steps, adjusting her balance.

"All done, let's get out of here." Emily's mom announced.

Slowly they left the room, mom grabbed the bag with all of Emily's belongings. She explained to her daughter that they would come back for the cards and balloons later. Emily didn't object, she was finally free from that prison.

They rode the elevator down to the lobby. Emily looked at herself in the mirrored finish. Her mom smiled while observing this, but didn't let on.

They got to the bottom floor and walked towards Emily's dad.

"Who is this child?" John sr. asked.

"Daddy!" Emily protested.

"Daddy? Oh, I couldn't be your daddy."

"Huh?" Emily started getting worried.

"I couldn't make someone as beautiful as you."

Emily didn't know if he was teasing or being serious. Her face revealed this.

"Oh, come here, you." He opened his arms wide and Emily fell into them. He rubbed her back. "I love you, boy or girl you will always be loved by me, you understand," he whispered into Emily's ear.

"Uhuh." She replied and kissed him on the cheek. This was the second time she kissed her father since becoming a girl; she hadn't done that in 5 years as a boy. It just came natural to do it though.

"Oh, aren't I a lucky man, a kiss by a beautiful angel"

Emily blushed. Still not use to be complimented, especially with the words beautiful and angel thrown in there.

"Well, we are all set, let's go." John said.

The car was parked out right out front. The group headed towards it. Emily's dad opened the trunk and her mom put the bag and odds and ends in. Emily just stood staring at the door. Jessie was let in on the other side and Emily's dad came over to let her mom in. Emily just stood staring at the door.

"Your highness, shall I open the door to your chariot?"

Emily didn't say a word she just stood their staring at the door.

Her dad opened the door, figuring that the silence was a cue to do such a thing. With the door opened, Emily just stood there, shaking in place.

"One second, hun," Emily heard her dad say. He put his arms around his daughter. "A little scared?"

Emily nodded. The sight of the car had brought back some memory of the accident.

"Afraid that you will get hurt again?"

She nodded again.

"I promise you, you will not get hurt, okay?"

"Last time I got in one, my whole life changed, what will happen this time?" Emily finally spoke.

"Last time was a one in a million thing to happen, how many times did you ride in a car before that, millions and billions right."

"Yeah, but," Emily couldn't think of anything, she was just consumed with fear.

"Did you ever get hurt with me driving?"

"No."

"I need you to be brave, I need you to trust me, okay?"

"Okay, I'll get in, but I'm still scared."

"I know baby, you're such a brave girl, it's okay to be scared but you've got to face your fears." Her dad patted her gently on the tush as she got into the car. He got in the front and looked back and told her to buckle up. Everyone buckled up, which wasn't a usual family practice. Emily sat in the back trembling. Jessie sat in the middle seat and held onto her. Emily buried her head in Jessie's chest as the car pulled away. She couldn't bear to look.

Other than the fact of being scared half out of her wits, the ride was pretty uneventful. Emily would occasionally peek at the view, but if they came up on an intersection, she returned her head to Jessie's chest. Each time Jessie would gently rub Emily's back. They finally pulled into the parking lot of a diner. Emily had never been here before.

"Daddy, what is this place?"

"This is Casa Milan, it's very good." Her dad informed.

"Why is this my first time here then?"

"Because it's a bit out of the way from our house, but it was on our way home, in a round about way."

That was enough of an explanation to satisfy Emily.

The group walked in through the frosted glass door. The restaurant was a little crowded, but not packed. Emily's dad told the waiter that they had reservations.

"Why is everyone watching me, someone is going to know it's me and tell everyone." Emily worried to herself "Why won't they look away, it's because they know. Why did we have to go out to eat, why couldn't we just go home, or just stay in the hospital. Stop looking." Emily tried to shrink back behind a potted palm. Her mom came over to her and took her hand.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Everyone is looking at me."

"Don't be silly, who is looking at you?"

"Everyone."

"Point one person out, and if you can we will deal with it."

Emily took a closer look, no one was looking directly at her, they hid it by looking out of the corners of their eyes. That's what she thought, at least. The fact was that everyone was too wrapped up in their own meal and own company to have noticed the group come in.

"They're looking, they are just hiding it."

"Now, don't be silly, let's have a nice meal, together, as a family."

The waiter informed the group that their table was ready. They were led to a table by the window. Though Emily normally sat at the spot closest to the window, this time she chose to forgo that honor so someone wouldn't pass by and notice her.

The table was nicely prepared, each spot having water and lemon. A basket of rolls was placed in the center of the table. Emily looked at her reflection in a spoon, somehow concerned that what she saw in the hospital might have changed on the way over here.

Emily's mom placed the napkin around her neck, "You don't want to spill anything on that pretty dress." Her dad did the same for Jessie. They ate rolls and drank water. They looked at the menu and discussed what they each wanted. A waiter finally came to take their drink order, but the group had in fact been ready to order their meal.

"What will it be then, sir?" The waiter addressed John Sr. but was staring at Emily.

"The two young ladies would like spaghetti and meatballs, my wife will have the chicken al Fredo, and I'll have the veal Parmesan."

"Very good sir, and what to drink?" the waiter still stared at Emily and it was becoming more and more obvious. Emily tried to shrink down in her chair, to look away, to make exaggerated movements, but nothing seemed to work.

"Cokes all around."

"Very good sir," the waiter left. As soon as the waiter got two steps away, Emily buried her head into Jessie's chest. John got up and decided to track him down.

"Hey," John called to him.

"Yes, sir, is their something you forgot?"

"Yes to ask you why you were staring at my daughter? I didn't want to cause a scene."

"I am sorry, I couldn't help but notice that nasty scar over her head, I'm pre-med at NYU and was just curious."

"Well, Mr. Pre-med, she just got out of the hospital today and is very self-conscious about it, you staring didn't help one bit, she was on the verge of tears."

"Oh my, I didn't realize, I will apologize right away."

John returned to the table first and shortly after the waiter returned with the drinks. He then knelt down next to Emily.

"Little girl."

"Yes," Emily said so quietly that the words were barely heard.

"I'm sorry I was staring at you, it's because I noticed the scar on your head and it was rude of me. I was just trying to figure out how it happened. Please except my apology, you are still a very pretty little thing."

"I accept, sir."

The waiter went over to John, "Again sir, I'm sorry, to make up for it dessert is on the house tonight if you so desire."

"Fair enough."

The waiter walked away again. "It must be something with doctors," Emily quipped. Her mom laughed, but no one else knew the joke.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch and they each ate their fill. Emily ate half her meal, feeling too full for dessert. Her dad decided that the meal was sufficient and asked for the check. He paid and left a nice little tip; the waiter again apologized.

The family got back into the car, this time it was a little easier for Emily to enter, but it still scared her. Emily got into the center seat, buckled her seat belt and pulled to make sure it was secure. Jessie got in and buckled up also, as soon as she was finished Emily placed her head on Jessie's shoulder. The car pulled away and Emily squeezed onto Jessie and began to sob.

"It'll be okay. baby." her dad called back, noticing what was going on. "We will be home real soon."

"Ahuh." Emily murmured back. "It's not just that. It's everything."

"Still adjusting, baby, still adjusting. You will get used to the new you, give it time.

"What about my room and my toys and my clothes?"

"Well, you know we changed your room, we think you are going to like it. We put a lot of your clothes in storage for now, if they still fit in a year and you want to, you can wear them again."

"Um, okay." Emily returned her head to Jessie's shoulder. She took a small breath through her nose and noticed an odor. It was sweet smelling, like flowers. She took a bigger whiff, the fumes smelled almost heavenly. It started to relax her a little and she nuzzled her head into Jessie's chest. Jessie in turn rubbed her back with one hand and squeezed her leg with the other. This made Emily get those feelings in her belly, the kind she could not yet explain.

Finally, they were back home. A place Emily longed to be, a place she dreamed of every night while in the hospital. Also a place she feared, because her room, her whole world, was going to be different. She envisioned that everything would be so pink and feminine that it would make her sick. She got out of the car after Jessie, and they walked behind Emily's parents. At the door her dad placed a blindfold over her eyes.

"It's a big surprise." Her mom said.

"Okay." Emily went along with it.

They walked upstairs to the room. Emily's dad actually carried her up; she hadn't been carried in a very long time. She felt someone take off her shoes.

"Why'd you take my shoes off?" Emily asked.

"You'll see," mom replied. "We are here, your new room, don't take the blind fold off yet."

Emily was placed back on the ground; her feet fell into a think, soft plush carpet. She wiggled her toes and giggled at the sensation.

"What do you feel, honey?" her dad asked.

"It's fluffy."

"Now smell the air?"

Emily smelled the air, it had a very light scent, but definitely a scent was there. "It smells like the garden."

"Okay, remove your blindfold."

The moment Emily had feared has arrived, she hoped that if she hated it that she could fool her parents. Slowly she pulled off the blindfold and opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was the dark pink plush carpet under her feet. She looked up and hardly recognized the place. Her walls were painted white and a pink border separated the wall from the ceiling. The bed was new too, and full-size with a canopy. The bed had a white quilt, sprinkled with small pink and purple hearts, the pink sheets barely visible. In the corner sat a white writing table, her dresser had been painted from brown to white and the knobs had been replaced with ones that looked like red hearts. Her night tables each had little pink lamps and a rose in a glass jar. Her closet doors were painted white also, they were open and the inside looked almost bare. The window had white and pink drapes and a wooden seated area was now in front of them. They were padded with pink cushions and white throw pillows on each side. Some plush animals now sat there.

"Well?" Jessie nudged while Emily was still trying to take it all in.

Emily started to tear.

"That bad?" Her dad asked.

"No, that good."

Her dad bent down and wiped her tears. She gave him a big hug and a kiss. She went over and hugged her mom. She didn't want to admit the room was to her liking; in fact she wanted to appear nonchalant about it. But, it was so overwhelming and so well done; it was obvious her parents put a lot of time into this. She felt so loved that she couldn't help but love the room.

"Maybe she is excepting her fate," Dad whispered to Mom as they watched the girl's look around the room and explore.

"Maybe, but for now let's not push things." Mom whispered back.

"You missed the best part, Emily." Her dad called to her and then slid the closet door so the other side was visible.

"My stereo!" She exclaimed.

"A deal's a deal" mom said.

Her parents were shocked that instead of running to her new toy, that she ran to them and gave them hugs.

"Can Jessie sleep over, please?" Emily asked.

"If it's okay with her parents, sure, why not?"

  

  

  

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