How Life Can Change

by Little Katie

  

"Mom, where's my glove?" John yelled out.

"Where did you leave it?" his mother called back.

"I left it on the counter last night."

"Well, I put it in the closet, where it belonged."

John rolled his eyes and scampered off to his room. His mom always told him to put his things in their proper place, but as with most nine year olds he was busy thinking of other things.

Despite his forgetfulness of this rule, John was a good boy; he always minded his parents, did well in school, and participated in a number of extra curricular activities. Such as today, he had a little league game which he had to be at within the next hour. He was small for his age, not the smallest boy on the team but definitely near the bottom of the list. His brown hair was neatly combed, coming down just past his neck. If it wasn't for his mom though the hair would be in shambles. He checked himself out in the mirror, his red cap placed slightly crooked atop his head. He adjusted his jersey and made sure it was tucked in. He adjusted his belt so it was perfectly in the middle.

"Got to look good for all my fans," he spoke to his reflection.

"Well, sport, you better get something in that belly of yours before you faint in front of all your fans," his mom's appearance startled him, but the embarrassment of the situation caused him to blush.

"Come on downstairs and eat your Wheaties," she said as she patted him on the behind. John ran down the stairs and sat at the place his mom prepared.

His mom always did things like that to make John happy. The banana was already sliced in the bowl and all he had to do was add some milk. It took his mom a little longer these days to make it down the stairs, being seven months pregnant has that effect. John was half-way through the bowl when his mom came and slumped in the chair beside him. Soon he will have a new brother, someone to teach all kinds of cool things too. His parents decided to get the gender determined before hand, opting not to paint the nursery the wrong color.

"So kiddo" his mom began, "you all set for today's game?"

"Yeah, I hope I get a lot of at bats this game, I did good last week, didn't I?"

"As long as you try your hardest, you'll always do well."

His mom was always reassuring that way, always positive. John knew his role on the team though. He went in half way through the game and played right field. He knew he wasn't as good as some of the other kids, and some might even make it to the majors someday just on natural talent. He had fun just being part of the team and hanging out with his friends. Last game however he was exceptionally good, getting a hit in each at bat, including a triple. His dad had told him that the triple was the hardest hit to get, cause you had to run as hard as you could. He tried to make his dad proud and had felt he did that last week and wanted to repeat.

"I know," John continued, "but, it feels better when I get hits."

"You're a hit with me anyway, kid, no matter how you do in the game."

John just smiled, allowing a little milk to trickle down the side of his mouth. His mom wiped it with a paper towel before it got on the uniform. John took the paper towel and finished.

"I think Jessica is going to be there to watch you today."

"I guess." Jessica lived three doors down and had been a life-long friend to John. She was a year and a half younger but they always got along great, even if she was a girl. They always played each others games, which made it kind of fun at times. One time they would play house, and the next they would shoot some hoops. John didn't mind playing with her, she was the only one in the neighborhood that he could be with without needing a ride.

"Oh, you two look so cute together, what a couple." His mom teased.

"Mom!" John raised his voice, but the blushing gave it away that he did have certain feelings he could not yet explain.

"Okay, okay. Anyway we got to call you a cab. Remember, I'm picking up your dad and going to the doctor but we should be there for the start of the game and see our little slugger, okay?"

"Okay, you know I don't get in for awhile though so you don't have to rush, let the doctor make sure little brother is okay." John said as he patted his mother's stomach.

His mom pulled him into a hug. "You know we will. Soon there is going to be another person here, but your still my sweetie."

John laughed and gave his mother a peck on the cheek. His mom went to the phone and dialed the cab service. He heard her tell them park that they were playing at and the fact that it was a little boy. She hung up and gave John 10 dollars. "The cab is only 8 but you be sure to give the driver all 10 as a tip, okay. Your bat and bag are at the front door."

John put the cereal bowl and glasses in the sink and ran some water on them. He didn't have to clean it, but he did anyway. He was considerate that way. His mom sat at the table drinking coffee and chatted more about Jessica.

"I think she likes you, too, you know?"

"Mom she's only seven."

"She'll be eight in a month and that still doesn't change the fact that she likes you."

John wanted to know how mom knew that Jessi liked him. But, the cab was outside and blew its horn.

"Got to go mom, love you."

"See you soon."

John made his way to the door and his mom called out "don't forget your protection."

John grabbed his helmet, "Got it mom." Though talking about two different types of protection, John made an honest mistake. The protection that his mom was talking about was sitting on the bed, when she saw it she giggled.

"I better bring this with me." She laughed to herself and placed it in her carry bag.

 

John sat in the back seat of the cab, a nice plushy town car. He sat with his back on the door, his baseball bat resting between his legs as he taped the lower part of the handle. He always did this routine before a game. He had read that Derek Jeter did the same thing, and he liked to emulate his favorite player. John wasn't paying attention to the drive much and answered the driver's questions politely. Most of the questions dealt with baseball and how the Yank's were doing. Suddenly, John heard a loud screech; he looked up and saw the grill of truck then darkness.

 

"I saw the whole thing officer." a black gentleman said as he gasped for air. His arms were dirty with blood, some of it his own. His face had some ash on it and he was sweating profusely. As the EMT worked on cleaning him up an officer was taking notes.

"Go on, what happened?"

"Okay, it was that truck's fault first of all. I was sitting on the stoop, just having a bagel, watching the honeys, you know. Well, anyway, the cab went through the intersection, it had the light, man. Well this truck, the driver wasn't watching nothing. He went right through the red, man. Well bang, he tore right through the cab. Pinned it against the wall over there.

"Man, I ran over quick, there was that kid in the back, he was out, man. I thought he might be dead or something. Well their was a fire too, and I didn't want the kid to be dead if he wasn't. So I busted the back window, that's how I got these," he said showing the officer his scraped up arms. "Man, I pulled the kid out and put him on this side of the street, he was all busted up and bleeding. I tried to go back for the driver, I wanted to man, but it was too late. The fire was already inside, nothing I could do, man. The fireman pulled him out, I hope he's o.k. I hope they're both okay."

The officer had the gentleman sign the report and took down other information.

 

"What do we have here?" the doctor yelled.

"Car accident sir, youth, lacerations to the head, possible brain damage and a gash in the groin region."

The attendant gave the doctor vital signs and approximated age and gender, based on clothing. They couldn't be to sure though. The wound to the head caused the doctors the most concern, the wound to the groin made determining gender with certainty impossible.

"Send him into ER3, get neurology down here, stat" the doctor barked out orders.

"Sir, ID has yet to be determined, we don't know who to contact."

"Mark that on his chart, we'll deal with the red tape later."

"Yes sir, the neurologist is here."

"The best way to deal with this is let Dr. Hetner work his magic on the head and I'll work on the wound to the groin."

The doctors each worked their perspective area. The neurologist stitched up a nasty cut that went from just above the eyebrow back to his ear. This was needed for the CAT scans that would follow and the MRI if need be. The swelling on the back of the head gave clues that the neck got snapped back and that their maybe some spinal cord injuries that may need attending.

The doctor working the lower end had his own set of difficulties. He determined the sex of this child by using medical knowledge, the outward physical clues were gone, completely. Some blunt object had torn the penis and testicles from the body.

"Nurse, did the EMS bring in a bio bag?"

"No sir, why?"

"He's missing something important."

"He, sir. Oh my."

"I can't make the decision which way to go on this one, not without parental notification and approval. Let's pack the wound and at least stop the bleeding. Call the police and let's try to trace the parents."

 

Several hours passed before Mr. and Ms. Corsi arrived at the hospital. They new something was wrong when they arrived to the baseball field and didn't see John anywhere. They found out from the coach that he didn't arrive and a call to the cab company sent them calling the police department. It was finally from the police that they found out about the accident and made a mad drive to the hospital.

The doctors approached the couple. Explaining things to parents was always a task they hated. In this case at least the news was good, in light of how bad it could have been. The worry on the couples face was enough to know the concern they had.

"Mr. And Ms Corsi," the doctor looked down at the name, "let's step into the conference room."

John's parents followed even though their urge was to find out what was going on. They finally got into the room, John sr., John's dad, couldn't contain himself anymore.

"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on, I filled out more paperwork and got more run around and I still don't know a damn thing."

"Sir, we understand that, we apologize for that, your son has been in a terrible crash as I am sure you already know. I'm Dr. Lee and this is Dr. Hetner, a neurologist, he will explain our preliminary concerns and I will discuss some secondary ones, please sit down."

John's parents did just that. The office was at least comfortable, and some of their worry was put to rest by the fact that they weren't led to a morgue; but a neurologist was pretty serious stuff.

"Ok, lets get down to it," Dr. Hetner started. "any time a blow to the head occurs there is need for some concern." He placed an x-ray on a lighted wall. "As you can see there is some swelling here towards the rear of the skull, fortunately it is nothing too serious, he may have some headaches for a time and maybe some balance problems until the swelling goes down. Unfortunately though, the swelling is severe enough to render your son comatose. Now with any coma, there is no time frame as to when he will regain consciousness. It can be a few hours, a few weeks, maybe months."

John's mother began to cry, "My poor baby," she sobbed.

"It will be ok." Dad replied. Turning to the doctor "Is there anything we can do?"

"Yes, Mr. Corsi, spend time with him, talk to him, even in this state he may still be able to hear what you say."

"You mentioned secondary concerns" John's mom addressed Dr. Lee "what are they?"

"It has to do with his genitalia ma'am" Dr. Lee started.

"What about them?" John Sr. raised his voice slightly.

"They are gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"Somehow in the accident something tore them off, they were not recovered, and even if they were the time that has passed now would render them useless."

"What are our options?" John's dad said looking intently at Doctor Lee after a moment of stunned silence.

"Well, we re-routed the urinary tract for now the best we could, there are several options that we can take. We can leave it the way it is now and use hormones when the need arises in a few years. He won't be able to perform sexually though and that may cause some psychological problems. The second option we thought of unfortunately can't be performed do to the extent of the damage, we were thinking of having a plastic surgeon mold a penis and even though it wouldn't function as the real thing it would at least look 'normal'. But as I said the damage makes it impossible to do that.

"Finally, and the one I recommend, is sexual reassignment surgery, he will go through the remainder of his life as a female, which may not be ideal for you, but at least there would be some chance for a normal life, a plastic surgeon can fashion a vagina and make it look practically like he was born with it."

"Are you nuts?" John Sr. yelled.

"Sir, if you look at all the possible choices you have, you have to go with the one that will lead to the best quality of life. I didn't say it was the ideal situation, but it may be the best choice. In the end, the ultimate choice is left to you and your wife."

"How long do we have to make the choice?" John's mother asked.

"Preferably a few days, the operation can take place at any point, but right now the wound is open and we are going to have to close that soon. I would say 48 hours we are going to need to know how to continue."

"Give us that time, let us think, this is too much." Sr. answered.

"That will be fine, maybe now you would like to see your child."

"Yes, yes, that is the best thing I can think of right now."

The couple were led to their son's room. He lay on his back, his head wrapped in bandages. His mother cried and touched his cheek. His father put his arm around his wife, trying to be as reassuring as possible. It was a hard thing to see. They just watched him for awhile. Neither saying a word, each thinking how life can change.

 

John Sr. looked at his wife, she had fallen asleep a half hour before, it was a long day, it was good that she slept. He looked at his son, laying there still, tubes and wires coming out of his body. This day was suppose to be fun for him, now look at this. He knew the whole story of what had happened, poor breaks on a truck, poor timing on the cab. Nothing really could of prevented it.

"What are we going to do kid?" he said as he knelt by his child's side. "So young, full of dreams, can those dreams be altered so quickly? If you knew what they wanted to do, you'd probably throw a tantrum. Not that I can blame you mind you. But, what are the alternatives?

"Without your manhood, growing up a man will be hard. The things that you will miss out on, the agony of knowing what you can't have. Unable to fulfill a lovers desire, it's torture. The hormone shots, too, from what I hear, are no joy either. This shouldn't of happened to you sport. It's a tough choice, and unfortunately one you won't have any input on.

"Maybe it won't be so bad, going through life without one, it gets you in trouble you know. Oh, you probably don't yet, huh. You won't either, now that this has happened. Not real fair either, aye?

"But, we got to make this choice soon. Do what's best for you, even if you don't see it right away. We love you kiddo, no matter what you have there. I don't know still. It's not the choice I ever thought I'd make as a father. It isn't even between being boy or girl. Its between been girl or nothing, isn't it? If I was in your shoes, making the choice for myself, I wouldn't know what to do really. If I had to chose between being a girl or nothing, which one?

"If you keep going on as a boy, it's a sham, you'll be missing the part that makes you that. I guess the choice is obvious. I got to at least give you a chance of love. I hope when you wake up, you understand."

John Sr. sat down next to his wife, close to the bed, and dozed off. He wasn't suppose to spend his weekend here. His sleep was sporadic that night, the beeping of a machine, the sound of footsteps, a slight breeze, all caused him to wakeup. He just wanted this night to end, wanted to wake up in his own bed and realize that this was a poor dream. Each time he awoke he wished that, each time the reality of the situation made him rethink the whole thing.

In the morning they had to change the bandages, that seamed like a good enough time for John Sr. to take his wife to the cafeteria for breakfast and to discuss his decision. They sat in a bland room, eating bland food.

"You made a choice, I can tell." His wife said.

"I think so," John frowned.

"You're going to let them change him aren't you?"

"I can't think of any better solution, can you?"

"Its going to be rough."

"At first, but its going to be rough when he wants to be with someone and can't."

"I suppose, I just see him as a boy, you know me, I see now."

"Yes, but we got to look further on this one, this isn't should we take his training wheels off now or next week."

"I know, I wish he had a say in it though."

"Even if he was awake, I don't think he's capable of this choice, it's like asking him if he'd like to go to the dentist."

"Yeah, but its so drastic a change, it's not like when we painted his room when he went to camp last year."

"I know we will deal with it, one step at a time."

"Slowly, dear, o.k.""

"I know."

"Remember how you said you thought the baby would be a girl, because we should have one of each."

"I guess now we will, huh." John Sr. took his wife by the hand and placed it on her plump stomach. They just sat there in silence after that. Each one thinking if this was truly the best thing, each one knowing it was.

The Corsi family went to Dr. Lee's office and informed them of their decision. It wasn't received with any type of emotion, even though it was an emotional decision.

"I really think this is the best choice, I?m sure you took a lot of time to reach that conclusion to. I spoke to a plastic surgeon friend of mine about the possibility of the surgery happening. If you want we can even have it done later today. It is preferable that we do it as soon as possible, an open wound is not something we like to keep around here?"

"This afternoon would be fine. Can we watch?"

"Unfortunately no, you can't be in the OR and the hospital isn't set up with a viewing room. You can however wait close by, or if you want, you can make use of our chapel."

"We'll stay as close as possible."

 

That afternoon the Corsi family waited outside two swinging doors. Beyond which their son was becoming no more and their daughter was being created.

They discussed how things would change. How his dad wanted to ease him into femininity and his mother wanted to immerse her new daughter into it. They decided it would best let her decide how she will embrace the new body.

There would be other obstacles as well. The doctor had told them that the swelling in their child's head had gone down tremendously and there was still no sign of irreversible brain damage. She might even wake up sooner then later.

They had started referring to John Jr. as her. Thinking it was best to get used to it as soon as possible. It was definitely going to be a change.

They played around with names also. At first, they were going to go with variations of John, maybe Joan or Joanne or Jane. They finally went with the name they had chosen for a daughter previously, when Mrs. Corsi was still carrying their first child; Emily. Of course they knew that she might not want to take her new name right away. But, they were satisfied in their choice.

After a few hours the doctors came out.

"Congratulations it's a girl" the plastic surgeon joked. No laughter greeted him so he went into the details of the operation. The lack of existing materials made it a little more difficult then usual. He informed them that the area would be red and take time to heal. But over all a success, theye may be need for further 'fine tuning'."

"Can we see-her?" Mrs. Corsi asked.

"Go right in."

They walked into the OR, it looked more sterile then it sounded. They saw their new daughter, the bandages finally were removed from her head. Mrs. Corsi pushed back the hair that was dangling on her forehead. "Sorry baby, we had to make this decision." She cried a little and gave a little kiss on her new daughter's cheek.

Her dad came up beside her. Started to sing a little lullaby.

"My little girl, pink and white like peaches and cream, is she my little girl? Plenty of boys pursue her, many a likely lad, many will try to woo her from her faithful dad, but my little girl gets hungry every night and she comes home to me."

On the last note the hospital staff came up to John, 'sir we need to move your son-"

"Daughter." he corrected.

"Sorry, daughter to her room now, you can meet her up there in just a little bit."

John reached down and kissed his daughter on the cheek, he hadn't kissed that body in a long time, the child had seemed to outgrow it. But, oh, how life can change.

  

  

  

*********************************************
© 2002 by Little Katie. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, and compilation design) may be printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without the express written consent of StorySite and the copyright holder.