Holi

by Shefali

 

India is a land of festivals. People Celebrate throughout the year. The festive season generally starts with the onset of monsoons and continue almost up to Holi. It does not end here. There are numerous other festivities in the remaining part of the year, but they do not occur as frequent.  With the new generation under the influence of western culture, It has only added to the festive mood of the people. Generally speaking, people in India celebrate throughout the year.

Holi is a festival of colours. It is celebrated on the first full moon day of the start of the spring season. There are various myths attached as to why this festival is celebrated. People play Holi with by throwing colours on each other, forgetting any enmity if it exists. This festival is full of fun and is strengthen the bonds of love among all. Young people eagerly await this festival. But there are some who are afraid of playing with colours, because the colours used in playing Holi are hard to remove and it takes a lot of labour to get clean again.

I was among those who never played Holi. I never played Holi for the fear of getting wet. I had been married to Uma, for almost two years. Uma was a tomboy. Even after she had got married, she was highly energetic and loved roaming, riding motorcycle. She had high interest in politics and loved watching football. She believed that women could achieve anything, they only need some mental support.

Uma and I, both were carrier minded and worked in private companies. Life was a smooth sail for us. Both of us had their own motorcycles on which we used to go for work. Though we would leave from home to work at different timings, we would come back together. One such day, both of us came home and after refreshing ourselves had just sat down on the sofa to watch television, the phone rang. Uma was the first to move as always. She held the mouthpiece in her hands and started talking. In a second, she was filled with joy. I was sitting nearby lend my ear to her talking. Soon I knew that the call was from my mother in law. She was asking her daughter to come and visit home. Uma accepted the invitation. I will soon inform you the date after consulting my husband Shiva, she said.

Soon after the talks were over, Uma came up to me and said, Shiva, Mother has called us home. It has been almost two years since I met her and this time she has stressed me to come with you. I have given her a assurance that I will certainly find time and inform her. You are also going with me this time. I assured her that I will accompany her to her mother's home.

After a long discussion it was finally agreed that since we can get leave from work on the festival of holi, we will go at that time to meet her. That way we shall not only meet her but the festival time shall also be utilized. After all on the day of Holi I always had nothing to do except to sit or sleep at home without doing anything. At best, I would help my wife in cooking, so I also acquired some skill in cooking.

Holi was almost a month far. Uma called on her mother and informed her that we would meet her on the festival of Holi. I had to keep her word. So I applied for a weeks leave, which I got. So did Uma. Holi was almost a month far.

Two weeks had passed and the excitement of meeting her mother grew for Uma. I will do that, I will do this, She would say. Each passing day, she made a new plan and then discarded it the next day. Both of us were back home from work, had refreshed ourselves and were having a cup of coffee . Uma suddenly erupted, Shiva, I am so much enthusiastic about meeting my mother after two years and that too on the festival of holi. I am going to enjoy with my friends, play with colors. But what will you do. It will such a boring affair for you. You have never celebrated holi nor played with colors. After our marriage, you have even stopped me from playing. For the past two years, I have restrained myself from celebrating this festival, only because of you. But this time, I am not going to listen to you. I will celebrate with colors and you will also join. I will paint you from top to bottom.

I was afraid. I had never played with colors. I tried to dissuade Uma from playing with me. You are free to celebrate, but please do not involve me. I have never in my life played with colors. It is so much dirty nowadays. Rubbing colors anywhere on the body and the colors include silver paints, oil paints and all other chemical paints. I said to Uma. But she was quick to reply, If you will not celebrate, then what are you going to do the whole week long at my mother's house. It will be such a bore. You might not have played Holi in your life, but you have to start somewhere. May be after the first time, you may start loving it. But I refused any suggestion from Uma. I will occupy myself with any other work, rather than playing with colors, I said to her.

The debate continued for a long time. I was adamant. I will not play with colors and that is final, I finally gave an ultimatum to Uma. But, she challenged me, In any case I will paint you  with colors. I accepted her challenge and wished her good luck.

Another week passed. Holi was just a week ahead. I was to accompany Uma to her mother's home. Her mother was a widow. She had lost her husband just a few months before, I married Uma. Uma also had a younger sister, who was a professor in college. So the mother and daughter were living together. Uma's younger sister wanted to marry a boy who would stay in her house and live with her, but for a long time had been unable to find one. 

I was reading a newspaper when Uma interrupted. Its barely a week left. Though we have prepared well in advance, but I still feel bad that you will get utterly bored on this trip. How are you going to occupy yourself, she asked me. I was not at all prepared for this question, so I kept quite. I have not thought yet, I replied. But I have a plan, said Uma. Will you be able to do domestic work? That will keep you occupied and you will not get bored sitting all day long. What's harm in doing housework? I said to Uma. In a way you all will be free to celebrate. I have already learnt some cooking from you. I think, I will manage, I replied. You are great Shiva, said Uma. I am certainly lucky to have a husband like you. But, we will give a surprise to mother. I was excited. What kind of surprise?

Uma tried not to reveal her plan. But I coaxed her. Shiva, she said, how will do the housework. After all its the women's department, Isn't it. Yes, I replied. So you are ready to the housework instead of playing with colors. Yes, I am prepared to do it, I replied. That means you are ready to become a woman. I was not prepared for this logic, but I replied, Its better to be a woman and work in the kitchen rather than playing with all that colors. Really, do you mean what you say, asked Uma. Yes, I replied.

All right, then its final. It will also be a big surprise for my mother and sister. You will do all the domestic work and that too dressed as a girl. I was surprised, I never said that I will dress as a girl, I said to Uma. But you yourself said that you will work as woman rather than playing with colors, Uma said. Then you must choose for yourself, play with colors or work at home dressed as a girl. I never wanted to play with colors so after a argument I finally chose doing housework dressed as a girl. Who would know that the girl working in the house is a man, therefore I feel better to choose it, I said to Uma. 

Uma became so much excited with the plan, that before leaving for her mothers house she made some more purchases and that included wig, lingerie for me. Though, in my heart, I too had a secret desire to get dressed as a girl, but outwardly I showed some resentment. Uma did not bother about my resentment. She went ahead with her plan and a day before departure, she got my ears and nose pierced and also made me shave the entire body. I actually loved that. After shaving the entire body, I had such great feeling of cleanliness, that I just slid my hands again and again on the smooth skin that I had acquired.

I got somewhat skeptical about the whole thing. How will I face my mother in law and sister in law. They may ridicule me. It will be such big humiliation for me. Then I will not be able to face them the entire life. When we got on to the bed to retire for the day, I spoke to Uma about my fears. Hearing them, She tried to convince me that my fears were unfounded. I will set everything right, she said.

The next day both of us boarded a bus to reach Uma mother's house. It was almost four to five hour drive to their home. By noon we reached our destination. Uma's mother and sister were waiting for us. My sister in law led us into our room. It has been a long journey, she said. Both of you refresh yourself for a while. In a short while I will be back with a cup of coffee for both of you. Saying this she went into the kitchen.

Keeping our luggage on the table, I just sat down on the bed. Uma looked at me. I was somewhat nervous. It was a big decision for me. How could I dress as a female in front of my mother in law and sister in law. But Uma was calm. She knew how to convince her mother and sister. I just lie down on the bed for a small sleep to ward off fatigue. After a while Uma's sister was back with a cup of coffee. Uma and her sister started chatting. They talked about their family, their work and the past. For a long time they talked to each other. Uma's mother joined in between. Looking at me, Mother in law said, Shiva why are you not talking anything. I tried to hide my nervousness and replied, I am tired mummy. I just want a good sleep. So I just lay down on the bed and pretended to sleep. But sleep was deluding me.

It was almost dusk when I got up. Uma looked at me and said, Its time for action. I have to set the entire thing right. I think I will talk to them at dinner. I wanted to dress up, but I had in my mind the fear of rejection. Uma once again convinced me. At dinner time when all of us sat down to have supper, Uma started the topic, Mom, we are going to give you a surprise tomorrow morning. But only on the condition that you will not get angry. Uma's mother was least interested, I do not care what you do, but no mischief. Uma's sister Tina wanted to know what kind of surprise but Uma was adamant and did not spill out the plan. I can say only this much that the morning tea will be served by Shiva, Uma said. But what is the surprise, Neena said, I have heard of so many men who serve the first morning tea to their wives. But this is different, said Uma and you must wait for tomorrow morning.

Uma's mother and sister were aroused by the fact of surprise being given to them. They were eager but both of them were ready to wait till morning. After the supper, Uma and I had a stroll on the street for about half an hour. Uma explained to me how she expected the plan to be executed. Then we returned home and locked ourselves into the room. Once we were locked, Uma was quick to react. Lay out your hands before me. I did it. She then applied heena on my hands and my feet by making a wonderful design. It took almost an hour to dry heena. When I washed my hands and feet the design was imprinted and looked beautiful.

After applying heena, she applied bright red nail polish on the fingers of my hands and feet. This takes a lot of time. So it is better that we have done it before going to sleep. I would again and again look at my heena painted and nail polished hands and feet. Finally we slept.

It was early morning when Uma woke me up. We must start now before anyone gets up in the home. I looked at the clock. It was just five in the morning. Mom and sis will get up two hours later, she said. By that time, the dressing must be complete, Uma said. I just did what she said. I had my bath and shaved my face clean. Making me sit before the dressing table, Uma began my make up. She applied the foundation, the powder, rouge, mascara, eye liner and the eye shadow. She worked hard to make my face smooth and she succeeded. After the facial make up, she placed the wig on my head and it was the dress then after. She tied the hooks of the bra behind my back. I had the tight feeling around my chest. The cups of the bra were empty. But Uma was well prepared. She took four baloons and inserted one into another and then filled them with water. Tying the mouth of balloons she then slid into the bra cups. The bra now looked full and got shaplier. I could feel the weight of the balloons and I started enjoying it. After the bra, it was the blouse and the petticoat. The blouse was yellow in colour.   After the blouse and the petticoat, she draped the sari on me.  The sari was a yellow one with golden border and golden dots on it. I was astounded with the effect. Every inch I looked a girl. Uma the gave me earrings, a necklace and bangles to wear. After the hard work, she was satisfied. You now look like a real girl. She then with the help of a pin attached the pallu of the sari with the blouse. But now its time to prepare tea. Mom and sister will be awake any moment. So both of us went into the kitchen. Uma helped me with preparing tea. I laid it on a tray and then Uma directed me to her mother's room. I was frightened. The petticoat rubbing against my legs and the water filled balloons in the bra seemed heavier. I was secretly enjoying the frills of the sari and the effect of the protruding nipples created by the bra and the balloons. Uma walked behind me. I just wanted to hide myself, but could not do it. Uma forced me into her mother's room. When I entered the room, Mom in law was still lying with her eyes closed. I stood besides her table along with the tray in my hands. Uma spoke, Tea is ready mom. As soon she had said this her mom opened up her eyes and saw me. I was trembling but I controlled myself. Looking at me she burst into laughter. Is this the surprise you were going to give me. Yes mom, Uma replied. He looks beautiful as a girl. Isn't it. Yes, her mom replied.  

Such was the voice of my mom in law that Uma's sister woke up and entered the room. For a while she saw me with amazement and then she too burst out laughing. You have done good job Uma, she said. Is he going to live the entire day in this. Yes, Uma replied. He has come here on this condition that he will work dressed as a girl rather than playing colors on holi. Teena was surprised. Is that so, she said. then we will have good fun together and let Shiva do all the work. Her mother also supported. By this time looking at their reactions and their acceptance of me dressed as a girl, the initial fear in me subsided. I became relaxed.

I now started to move in a more relaxed and free manner. After we all had our tea, Mom in law got out of bed. She opened her almirah and searched for something. After a short while she found out what she was searching. It was a photo album. Turning the pages of the album, she then turned a page on which was a photo of two lovely ladies with their hands on each other waist. Showing and pointing to one of the ladies in the photo to Uma, she asked "Can you guess whose photo is this?" Uma was perplexed. She failed to figure it out. Mom in law then interrupted, It is the photo of your father and the one next to him is me. Uma was amazed. This photo was taken when we went for our honeymoon, mom said. Uma and Teena were excited. There were some more photos in the album. Uma's father looked beautiful in the sari's he wore. History has repeated itself, Uma said, looking at me. You too are looking beautiful, she said. Mom in law and Teena seemed to agree with her.

At last I was completely relaxed. Uma's father too had for a day been wearing sari's on the insistence of mother in law. So there was no question of her being angry or opposing me. I could now wear the sari for the entire day. But Uma had other plans too.

I just wanted to relax the whole day long. But Uma did not allow me to do it. You are a girl now. You must behave like one. You had promised that you will do anything except playing colors. You are here to work in the kitchen, cook food and for upkeep of the house. But, holi is tomorrow, I said to her. If you will start your work right now, you will become use to it, she said and then you will not trouble us by asking anything as to where such and such thing is kept. She was right. I had to agree with her. Tina led me into the kitchen and showed me where I would find the things I needed.

So the entire day I worked in the kitchen. I had always been helping Uma so I had learnt a lot of cooking. But cooking dressed as a girl, it was a completely different experience. Uma and Tina would pinch me and tease me throughout the day. I too enjoyed the attention. Uma's mother also was excited about the whole thing. When we were having our lunch at noon time, she said. We must do something exciting. Let us arrange for a mock marriage. Shiva will become the bride and Uma will become the groom. All were excited with the plan. I too gave my nod because I wanted to experience the feelings of a bride. So after we had our lunch, Uma's mom gave me her expensive bridal lehenga and choli. Uma and Tina once again touched up with the make up and turned it into bridal make up with all the accessories and ornaments.

You are now a girl, mom said. We will call you Shivani. I do not think to change the name of Uma. It applies both to men and women. I will be your mother in law as always and Tina will be your sister in law. But Uma will become her brother and to me, my son. I will call you bahu(the wife of a son) and Tina will call you bhabhi(wife of a brother)

Uma then dressed in her sister's Shirt and trousers. It will be a simple ceremony and will be over in a few minutes, said mom. She then led us before the idol of lord Ganesha. Uma will apply sindoor and tie down a mangalsutra to you. You will then accept her as your husband and she will accept you as her wife. So with Lord Ganesha witnessing the marriage Uma applied sindoor on my forehead and tied a mangalsutra. I verbally accepted her as my husband and she accepted me as her wife. So I became a bahu and a bhabhi. Tina was most excited. She took photographs of the entire event and  started calling me bhabhi as soon as the marriage was over. Uma and I then bent upon to touch the feet of mother to seek her blessings. To me she said, Doodho nahao, pooto falo(Bathe with milk and bear a lot of children). Uma looked at me and said, How many chidren you want? But Tina interrupted and said, Almost a dozen. Uma looked with expectation and said, I will certainly try because I too want a dozen children. I hope you will bear them for me. I was embarrassed but still I replied, I will try. All of them then had a laugh.  I looked at my husband when she said, Shivani, Its time for tea. Tina prepared the evening tea but I had to serve them all. They enjoyed my new status. After we had our tea Uma ordered me to change again in simple sari which I did. I then prepared dinner for all of us. After the dinner, Uma and I had a stroll down the street.

It was night by then. The first day of holi on which pyres of fire are lit after performing sacrificial prayers. It denotes the win of good over the bad. I was walking along Uma and tried to hide my face from the passers by. Uma noticed my humiliation and deliberately started walking behind me. You should not be afraid when your husband is with you, Uma said. I was nervous. My nervousness ended only when after half an hour we safely reached back home.

Uma and me then retired into our room. What will you wear, saying this, Uma handed over to me a nightee. It was a short dress made of satin. When I wore it, the cleavage created by my boobs were clearly visible. At this point of time Uma became naughty. She stood behind me and encircling her hands on my breasts said, You are the most beautiful girl I married. Slowly she pressed my breasts and after a while gave me a long kiss on my cheeks. I trembled. I could not imagine what my husband was up to. But Uma gently led me on to the bed and placed his hands on my breasts when we slept. I loved it. She assured me that the next day was to be more eventful and I must be prepared to bear a dozen children.

The next morning I woke up early. I slid my hand on to my face and felt it rough. I needed a shave. So I quickly shaved my face and then woke Up Uma. I need your help, I said to him. Uma smiled when she my eagerness in dressing up. Once again she applied all the make up with expertise and helped me in draping a sari. I then headed straight into the kitchen, prepared tea for all. This time I went all alone into my mother in law's room. I had acquired the confidence as a girl. When mother in law saw me with tea in my hands, she got up. She once again had a laugh and said, You have taken so much pains to please me. You are a perfect bahu I could get. You learn your lessons with so much ease. Tina and Uma also then entered the room. I served tea to both of them. You are such a wonderful cook Bhabhi, said Tina. Tea has never been so good.   

So While I worked into the kitchen preparing breakfast, Uma and Tina sat down reading newspaper and watching television. After an hour there will be noises all around with people on the streets and in their houses, shouting, laughing and making merry by playing colors. After Uma and Tina had their breakfast, they took out some old clothes to wear and off they went into the neighbors for playing and throwing colors. But I was busy working in the kitchen and preparing for lunch. For two hours I was alone in the house. I would again and again watch myself into the mirror. I had a feeling that I looked better as a girl and the feeling continued to grow each time I looked myself into the mirror. I had begun to enjoy my feminity.

It was a long time Uma and Tina were out playing holi. I had already done up with lunch. I waited for my husband to return back. But when he returned back, there were some more women and girls with him. I hurriedly entered the kitchen. I did not wanted anyone to recognise me. But Uma entered into the kitchen, looked at me, had a laugh. With him entered one more girl. Though her face was painted with colors, I was able to see that she was a very beautiful girl. I envied her. She asked Uma about me. My heart beat grew but Uma replied, she is a friend of Tina. I was relaxed. After drinking a glass of water, both were out once again.

It was almost midnoon when Uma and Tina came back. They were painted all over the face and the entire body. Its time to relax, said Tina. Both of them then washed their hands and asked for something to eat. But by then the lunch prepared by me had cooled down, so I had to warm it up all over again and served them. We had our lunch. Tina looked at me and asked, Are you enjoying bhabhi. It is a new experience for you. I replied nothing, but I enjoyed being called as bhabhi.

Two hours after lunch, Uma and Tina then went to have their bath. Uma called me in and asked me to scrub her to get rid of all the color. It took a lot of time. But I enjoyed scrubbing my husband. After the bath Uma wore her sisters T shirt and jeans and relaxed. It was time for tea so setting right the pleats and the pallu of my sari, I entered into the kitchen once again.   

Tea was as usual affair. Uma and Tina were immensely tired so both of them tried to have a good nap. Mother in law all through the day cracked jokes with me and kept me in a lighter mood. She helped me in preparing the dinner for night. Uma and Tina woke up late evening. We all had our dinner. Uma wanted me to have a stroll as usual.

Both of us stepped out of the house. It was a quieter night. This time Uma led me on to a new road. I just walked behind my husband. Suddenly he entered into a compound and said, I have got my education here in this school.  My friend who is unmarried still resides in here in the apartment provided to her by the school. She became a teacher after graduation. Her name is Meenu.

Uma then stood before a apartment and then knocked at the door. After a short while the door opened with a crackling sound. I was able to recognize the face opening the door, It was Meena the girl who had entered the kitchen this morning with Uma. She was overjoyed to see Uma at her home. She asked Uma who I was but Uma asked her to be patient. For some time they talked about their school lives. I was able to see that in my presence Meenu was not able to communicate freely. But then she asked Uma, where is your husband. You said that you will introduce him to me by evening. You had also said that you will be the dominant partner in your relationship and make him follow your orders. And saying this, she laughed. Uma then introduced me to her friend," whatever I said is true and then pointing towards me , Meet my husband, shivani. I was so much embarrassed that I failed my courage to see towards Meenu. But she wasn't amazed. I always expected this from you Uma, she said. You were dominant since your childhood. Your husband looks lovely in a sari. I assume he is more of a wife to you, isn't it. Yes, Uma replied. I am the husband and shivani is my wife. By that time I too started to loosen up a bit and greeted Meenu with folding my hands. You look beautiful bhabhi, she said to me. I just want to know one thing, what have you used for your breasts, they look lovely. I was too embarrassed to answer but Uma told her all. Then looking at Uma, she said. I now wish to return to you something. You must have needed it badly. It has been lying with me ever since we parted our ways. She then after some time handed over to Uma a box. After we had left I was curious to know what was in the box, but Uma would not tell me, Wait and you will know was his answer.

It was quiet a long time we had been out of the house. We went back strolling. Uma was holding the box, meena gave her. I was curious to know what was there in the box. We reached home in half an hour. I sighed with relief as no one recognized me on the road. Mother in law was waiting for us. She opened the door and let us in. In a few minutes we said good night to each other and went to sleep.

Uma and I entered our room. It was time now when I wanted to end up this crossdressing matter. I spoke to Uma but she refused. Instead she gave me her nightgown to wear. I just relented and gave up. I took off my sari and wore the night gown. I sat on the bed with my legs crossed and waited for Uma who had went into the closet with the box to change. When she came out of the dressing room she was wearing a mans trunk. I sensed that there was something fishy but I stayed quiet. Uma then sat besides me. I hope you have been comfortable as a woman, Uma asked me. Yes, I replied, In fact I enjoyed it and I will continue to do so Until you stop me. Uma was amazed, are you really happy with your situation as a wife? Yes, I replied and in fact I wish to tell you something. I always fantasized of being a woman, but I had not the courage to speak to you. For two days now that I have lived as a woman, I have gathered some courage to speak to you. If you do not mind, we can continue when we get back home. Uma had no problems with my crossdressing, in fact she offered all her help I required.

But I also wish to tell you something, Said Uma. You have already met my friend, Meenu. When we were studying together in college, we became such close friends that we engaged ourselves physically. I was the dominant parner. I listened to her with shock. So both you shared a lesbian relationship, I asked. Yes, Uma replied. Since then, Meena has been my very fast friend and the friendship has continued even after our marriage. Uma then put off the lights of the room and said, Its time to sleep dear.

In the darkness of the room, Uma started rubbing me on my buttocks. Slowly and gently she drifted upwards. I just liked the feeling so I lay still. The rubbing was then followed by kissing and licking. Uma caressed my face and slid her hands into my long hairs. Uma incited me, excited me but behaved as if she was the man. I realized that I had been living as a girl since two days and therefore deserved the treatment. Uma was pressing my breasts hard and in a jerky motion she penetrated me. I was filled with pain for a while. I wanted to release myself but Uma had such firm grip that I failed. Then I accepted my fate and let Uma do what she was doing. I then knew what was in the box. For the first time I got such a treatment. Uma was doing to me with ease what I could do to her with difficulty. She had penetrated me with a strapon. After a while I was at ease and had begun to enjoy my new status as a girl. For almost an hour, I was under uma's control. She had almost stripped me completely of my ego whatever was left in me. I could do nothing except to surrender in love.

When Uma finally released me, she carressed my face and told me, this is what I have been doing to Meena. This is what you have been doing to me. This is what I returned to you today. You have not been able to satisfy me because of your premature ejaculation. But I hope I have fully satisfied you. I was more than satisfied. I accepted that she was much more macho than me and had much more power than me.

It was one more day at Mother in law's house. As usual I wore the sari Uma gave me. But this day was completely different. Having been crushed the previous night, I could not face Uma directly. Sensing my condition, Mother in law stated that I have started to behave as a girl. I enjoyed such comments.

The next day, we were back home. The memories of the travel were so much deep rooted in my mind that after reaching home, I just talked about dressing up with Uma. But Uma lay her hands on my shoulder and said, You are such a simpleton, shivani. I won the bet. I was surprised, which bet? I asked. Before leaving I had said that I was going to paint you, said Uma. But I did not play holi, I said. Uma laughed and said, Now tell me, when I applied the sindoor on your head what color it was? Red, I replied. And when I applied a bindi on your face. I realized that Uma was right. She applied bindi's of various colors in three days, and shades of eye shadow ranging from red to pink and voilet, The black mascara, the pink rouge, the pink and red lipstick, painted red nails of hand and feet, The design of heena on the hands. But that was not enough, Uma continued, I made you to wear fancy sari's of different colors with matching blouses. You did exactly as I said. And at last it was the color of love when I fucked you. I was amazed. I could not speak anything. I had been duped and I myself had become a part of the whole game.

But I loved it Uma, I said. I found out my true identity. I love wearing dresses and I am now relieved that you know my secret. You have promised me to help in dressing up. Yes, Uma replied, I will certainly help you. After all I am also relieved that you now know that I had a lesbian relationship. I think I can carry the relationship with you. Now that you have a free mind to become my wife and a girl, I do not need to find a girlfriend outside home when I have one sitting with me. Saying this, she kissed me hard on my cheeks and like a man. At last we had found out our own identities.

  

  

  

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