Based on the Modified Cover MixedUpRomance by Jenny North

 

His Kind of Girl

Janet L. Stickney
JanetLynn17@Hotmail.com

 

I wasn't expecting it, so when he kissed me I was quite shocked, and so was he I think. We both pulled away, not revolted so much as stunned that it even happened! Turning, I looked and saw everyone else having a good time; that meant that nobody had seen us!

"Sorry" he said, "it's just that you're so…cute!"

I went back inside to hide in the crowd, unable to reconcile what I felt with what had just happened. You see, I wasn't a girl, I was a guy dressed as a girl. I had not planned on being dressed as a girl because I was sure that my secret would get out, but in the end, I gave in to my urges, and got dressed for the party, hoping that I would be able to hide the fact that the girl they saw was the girl that I wanted to be. It wasn't as if I was perfect as a girl, it was just that I had plenty of practice, starting at about the age of eight or so. By the time I was 14 I had been out of the house a couple of times, when I was 15 I had dared to go to the mall and a show, all without incident, so at age 16, almost 17, I knew that I could leave the house and go almost anywhere, confident in my ability to look, act, talk, and walk like a girl. My mom knew of course, after all, I had skirts and dresses hanging in my closet; how she came to let me do that started when I was 15.

Since I had no sisters I was forced to buy my own stuff, which I hid in the basement, washing them when I was home alone. It was a meager collection, yet as I grew older I began to buy more stuff, including shoes, jewelry, makeup, perfume, skirts and dresses, plus panties and bras. I made my own breast forms and hip padding which I also hid. That lasted until one day in August, when it got really hot and the small perfume spray that I had put in the case exploded, inside of the case. The heat must have made the air inside the small bottle expand just enough; whatever it was, the basement reeked, and when mom went searching for the reason, she found my stash. I also smelled it, and in a rush to protect my stuff, I ran down the basement only to se my mom standing there, the case open, my mother staring at the contents. Confronted with incontrovertible proof that I was dressing as a girl, she demanded that I tell her what was going on. Knowing that I didn't have much choice, I said I would, but before I did that, I tossed everything into the washer, then went to get my laptop.

Mom told me she always suspected something, especially after she caught me that one time. I was 13 at the time and it was in the middle of my first week at school, so she knew it wasn't for a party. I thought I bluffed my way through that fairly well, but it surely put doubts in mom's mind. As we sat there, I called up my album of pictures, then turned it so she could see them. I watched her carefully as she paged through my pictures, seeing her eyes go wide then narrow, a smile, then a frown as she reached the last picture when she looked up at me. I had remained silent while she looked at my pictures, the only way I knew of to let her know how I felt.

"You're…you don't look like…" with a sigh, "you're really quite pretty as a girl. I didn't realize just how feminine your face is until I saw it for myself!" She sat back staring at me, then…"I guess you've made it plain as day. As much as I don't understand it, or even like it, you'll probably keep dressing up anyway, right?" I shrugged my shoulders, then slowly nodded my head yes. " Before I say anything else" mom said, "I want to see you all dressed up, and I want you to look the best you can!"

"I'm washing everything right now, in the morning?"

"You have until lunch tomorrow."

Once I had retrieved my stuff, I took everything to my room, hung it all up or put it away, then set out what I was going to wear, not the next day as mom told me, but as soon as I could change. I jumped in the shower, shaved, then went in my room to get dressed. I wore the tan and white pleated skirt with the white pullover top, pantyhose and my white flats, my hair let out of the ponytail washed around my shoulders, shiny and smooth, my bangs curling to my eyebrows. I added earrings, then checked my makeup one last time before I walked out of my room and down the stairs. Mom looked up at me as I walked in, opened the fridge, and took out a soda before I turned so she could look at me. From my hair, down over my modestly sized breasts to my long legs I looked just like any other girl I knew, and I was proud of my ability to become the girl I wanted to be.

"Damn! You look…I saw the pictures, but…"

After that, mom and I really talked, which is when I told her that there wasn't any doubt in my mind that some day I was going to be a girl. Then I asked her, since I was going to become a girl anyway, if I could just put my things in my closet. We both knew what that meant; if she agreed, then I would have probably have her tacit permission to dress any time I wanted to. She finally agreed, but insisted that she always knew when I was going to go out, which meant that I would have to tell her. It was as good as I was going to get, so I agreed. I didn't change, because my goal was to let her see that I could manage nicely as a girl, and maybe have her ease up on some probable restrictions. When she told me that she was going grocery shopping and told me to join her, I quickly agreed and went to get my purse. I drove us, then pushed the cart as she picked out what she wanted, and by the time we got home she knew that I wouldn't have any trouble going out as a girl.

As a guy, I was well aware of the way guys looked at girls; as conquests first, maybe a girlfriend later, so my constant concern when I went out was that some guy would decide that I would be his latest conquest, which is why I always avoided confrontation. I stand almost 5'8" tall and weigh about 140, and while I can look like a girl, and I enjoy it, I'm merely a combination of foam rubber, birdseed, makeup and desire. My name is Sharon when I'm a girl, George when I'm not, and I have ID in both names, including a school ID that I created on the computer. I remained dressed the rest of that day, and in the morning, since mom told me to get dressed, I wore the tight jeans and a thin, sleeveless blouse with my gym shoes. I put on a minimum of makeup and some lipstick before I went to the kitchen for breakfast. Mom didn't say a word when she saw me, but right after breakfast she left, returning with a headband, putting it on me, telling me that it would keep the hair out of my face.

That was about five months ago, which was just before I was out of school for the summer. Since then she and I have been many places together, and not once has she ever put me in a situation that might reveal my true self. I never said no when she asked, and after a bit she began to buy stuff for me, like earrings for example. Our relationship didn't change very much, except that once in a while she would slip up and call me Sharon, when Sharon wasn't standing there. She never did that outside the house, but it did set me on edge worrying about it. When I started school that fall I was back to being a boy every day, which was a shock because I was used to doing things a girl would do, and almost screwed up a few times. I never did get my male walk back, not completely anyway, and while nobody said anything about it to me, I knew that some thought I was odd. When the notice about that party was sent to me, I saw that Carol, one of my friends had invited me.

The invitation said it was a costume party although it wasn't Halloween. That was because some parent had complained that Halloween was a satanic ritual, and the school system actually caved in! Almost everyone thought that the politically correct stuff had gone to far, which is why all of the parties were held off site and off weekend. While my first instinct was to go as Sharon, I didn't want to feed the fires of doubt that some kids might have, so I began to look around for another kind of costume, but everything I was drawn to was a girls costume, and that made me feel as if I shouldn't go, and almost didn't, except…

"This is just plain silly!" mom said. "You told me yourself that you think some of the kids already know, and after watching you try to walk and act like a boy again, I can see why! What's the worse thing that could happen if you went to this party as Sharon? Someone might figure it out? You know I've never forced you to do anything, but in this case I'm thinking that it might just be the perfect way for you to let everyone see how pretty you are, and maybe, how you feel about yourself! If it goes badly, you haven't lost a thing, and if it goes well…"

"Then what? I go to school as a girl? I don't think so!"

"Nothing necessarily that dramatic, but once they see you, watch how you act and hear you talk, then maybe they will see for themselves that you're still yourself, only you'll be wearing a dress."

"So…you're saying I should go as Sharon?"

"I'm saying that you should think about it, but if it were me, I would go as Sharon, and I would go all out! Low cut dress, short hemline, great makeup, the works!"

"Can I spend some of my savings then?"

"On what!? You have everything you need now!"

"Well yes, but not everything is anything like I'll need, and if I'm going to make a splash, then I'll need to spend about $400."

In the end mom agreed, so I made the appointment, and on Friday after school I went for the fitting. Since I already knew what I wanted, it was only a matter of the right size and color. It took the lady about an hour to find the right combination, then I let her attach them to my chest with the glue. I paid the bill, then drove home and quickly went to my room so I could take another look and my new "babies". Pert and firm, a full A cup, they were simply wonderful! I quickly put on a skirt and low cut top, brushed out my hair and dashed on some makeup and put some flats on. I heard mom come in, and went to greet her. One look was all it took. She set her purse on the table and stood staring at me and my nipples poking out against the thin top. I didn't put on a bra for a reason. In the right light, she could see right through the top.

"Well! It looks like you got your money's worth! Can I see?"

I lifted my shirt so mom could see, then she went straight to the phone and made one call. When she was done talking she told me I had an appointment at her salon to get my hair and nails done, reminding me that since I had obviously taken her idea that I go all out for the party seriously, I should go the rest of the way. I had never been to a salon before, and the closest I ever came to doing my nails was when I filed them to look more feminine and did my own polish! My hesitation caused my mother to motion me to sit, which I did.

"I am assuming that those come off easy enough, but the mere fact that you went out and bought what is clearly the best breast forms available tells me that you really do want to be a girl! Up until now, all you did was wear the clothes and a bit of makeup, and while I let you play dress up, I had thought that you would give it up; but now that you have managed to make it look like you have breasts, I can clearly see that I was wrong." Mom sighed as she looked at me. "I know that I told you to go all out, but going to this party looking like you do now is going to blow your secret right out of the water, you know that don't you? What I mean is, I don't think that you'll be able to play it down! Whatever is driving you only lets you do this perfectly, and with those, there isn't going to be any doubt, is there?" My hands went to my boobs, then fell to my lap. "Sharon, when I told you to do it right, go all out, I had no idea that you would go and do this!" With her chin in her hands…"That's why, since I believe that all of your friends are going to know the minute they see you, that you might as well really go all out, and by that I mean have your hair and nails done!"

"I can play it down mom! Really!"

"No dear. Maybe right now is the time to stop kidding yourself. If you go, then maybe you should make every effort to knock their socks off! Let them know, without saying it, and see what their reactions are! Are you sure they don't already suspect something? If they do, then by going you will only confirm it, and if they don't, well, it won't matter, will it?"

I knew that at least two of the girls had seen me when I had been out, and while they looked at me, they never put it together, yet the fact that they had seen me fueled the idea that mom was probably right. When I thought about it, I knew she was right, but if she were wrong, I knew that my life would hit the crapper in a hot minute! I looked at her, she smiled, then asked me once again about the salon, and I nodded my head yes. Mom wasn't pushing me into exposing myself so much as she was facing the facts, and making me face them as well. I knew that she wasn't happy that I wanted to become a girl, but she and I both knew that my fate was sealed, so we both arrived at the same conclusion using different roads. That night after dinner I pulled out the only dress I owned that would accomplish what we had talked about. I had bought it some time back, but since I had nothing to show, I never wore it anywhere. It was an all black mini dress, sleeveless, with a low neckline and a hem that hit me about two inches above my knees. I tried it on, and was rewarded with the vision I always had of myself in the dress! The minute I stepped into the party, there wasn't going to be any doubt at all that I wanted to be a girl!

Mom and I went to the salon together, then I had my hair done for the first time ever. She cut it shorter, but added some curls and created bangs when she trimmed my hair on top. This was before another lady added plastic nails to my fingers, filing and painting until I had a full set of very feminine nails, all which would pop off if I did it the way she showed me. By the time they were done I felt simply wonderful, and I was smiling when we left the salon for home. I went straight to my room and shut the door, then went in the bath, filling the tub with bubblebath. When I stepped out of the tub about an hour later my skin was soft and smooth. Using skin lotion helped make my skin feel silky as well, then I wrapped my robe around myself and went to get a bite to eat.

Mom wasn't around, so I made some sandwiches, then went back to my bedroom to get ready. I already had on the black nylon panties, but I dragged out my only other prize possession, a black satin and lace corselet, and removed the garters. Then I used my padding to make my hips wider before I put on the corselet. Using just the hooks made my waist a bit smaller, and the built in bra held my boobs just right, but when I pulled the laces tighter, not only did my waist grow even smaller, my boobs started to rise up! When I had it as tight as I could stand, I settled my breasts a little better, then sat on the bed to pull on the pantyhose. Using a plastic sheet around my shoulders, I went in the bath to do my makeup, determined to do the best I had ever done. Foundation and powder, then eye shadow, eyeliner, blusher and mascara, I carefully created my best face, one that denied all knowledge that I was really a guy. Saving the lipstick until last, I slipped the dress over my head and zipped it up, then stood looking at my refection in the mirror.

Every dream, each moment I spent dressing as a girl had come true, and she was staring back at me from the mirror. Long sexy legs, wider hips and a narrow waist below a swelling bustline that was exposing cleavage that I shouldn't have, capped with a doll like face wearing the perfect hairstyle. I stepped into my black heels, took a brush to my hair, not so much as to change it as to assure myself that the girl I was looking at was me! I added lipstick and was searching my meager jewelry for the right earrings when mom came into my room. I turned and…

"Nobody is going to know recognize you, that's for sure!"

"Thanks mom, I think."

"I have just the right jewelry honey, wait a minute."

Mom returned with a choker style pearl necklace with the earrings to match, helping me fasten the necklace as I put the earrings on. I used my perfume, then went to get the lipstick, a soft reddish plum. When I was done I stood there with mom looking at me.

"After they figure it out they'll know Sharon, how can they miss?"

"Maybe it'll all be over by the time I get home then."

"Have a nice time honey, and if they give you a really hard time, just come home, okay?"

I said I would, then put all my stuff in the black clutch purse mom gave me, and walked out to my car. All sorts of ugly things ran through my mind on the way to Carol's house, but I was determined by then, and didn't deviate as I went straight to her house. I parked in the driveway, which meant that I was one of the first to arrive, opened the door and swung my legs out, stood up and took a deep breath before I went to the front door and rang the bell. The door opened, and I was face to face with Carol. Her eyes went wide, then…

"Damn girl! I, we, all figured that you would look good, but damn!" She let me in, and I followed her even as my mind was churning over what she had said. "I, we, all figured that you would look good". That meant that my friends at least suspected that I liked to dress up! "Just what?" Carol asked, "do I call you tonight?"

"Sharon".

"Nice name. It fits you." As her eyes once again went from head to toe…"Damn!" She sat at the table, so I joined her. "Everyone thought there was something different about you, but when Kelly and I saw you at the mall with your mother, we both knew for sure, but you looked so…normal!"

"I'm going to leave Carol, I can't do this!"

"You're not leaving now!"

"The guys. They'll…"

"Crap their pants when they see you! Now you stay put!" I looked down at my boobs, long legs and saw my nails. "Listen, half the girls I know use falsies! Yours are just…better, that's all! Relax and don't worry so much, and I'll bet that you have a great time tonight."

As the others arrived Carol introduced me as Sharon, and while most simply accepted me as a girl, a few recognized me; but they all smiled, which helped me relax enough not to run out. Food was served, and as I stood in line, my friend John came up behind me. He said nothing as we meandered through the line, but when I walked back to the table, he followed me! Sitting down…

"You look great Sharon, I thought that I would say that right up front. Better than great as a matter of fact! I never thought that you would look this good, and that's a fact!"

"You knew?"

"Eyeliner. Sometimes you didn't get it all off, and you never had any body hair, but the biggest give away was that once in a while you would forget and start acting like a girl; the way you walked and sat, used your hands and so on. It wasn't much, and not many of us noticed, but still…damn you look good!"

There wasn't anything to say, so I kept silent, but what he said made me feel both worried and elated at the same time. The fact that some of my friends knew was distressing, on the other hand, all of them, especially the guys, all said that I looked real nice, and nobody made any snide comments; at least I didn't hear any. John and I sat there as the party swirled around us, in a sort of protective bubble in a way. John wasn't my closest friend, yet he acted like it, staying with me even as the dancing started. After several songs, couples started to mingle and dance, slow and tight, swaying really. I was watching them when he put his hand over mine, then stood up and tugged my hand. Looking up, he motioned to the kids dancing, and grinned. I really didn't want to do it, but he stood there smiling, and I finally gave in, hoping that nobody would laugh. In heels I was nearing 5'11" but John was still a bit taller than I was, so when he put his arm around me, I was looking at his nose. He didn't move around a lot and I was able to follow him fairly easily.

Another song started, and we stayed there like that, but our moving around had taken us to the far side of the patio, which wasn't quite as bright, and that's when he suddenly kissed me! Startled, I didn't do anything except look around, then I saw him grinning at me.

"I'm sorry! But what did you expect Sharon? You're the best looking girl here, and I'm the lucky guy!"

"But…but…you know that I'm…! Why did you do that!?" I was worried that if someone saw us…

"One" he said, "I'm your friend, two, you looked like you needed it, and three, you're my kind of girl."

"Just what does that mean" I said, getting angry, thinking that he might have thought I was…what?

"You're my kind of girl because you're so pretty, I like you, and we're both unattached!"

John wasn't in a listening mood apparently, and when he pulled me close, he once again kissed me, longer and a bit harder, which left me panting both from excitement and fear. I broke away just as Carol walked over, telling us both that the costume parade was about to start, adding that I would be the last person, John would go just ahead of me. Batman and Robin went first, then a cowboy and cowgirl, a robot, French maid, a harem girl, assorted others, then it was my turn. Carol told everyone that my name was Sharon, and while I stood there, I could see the questions on some of the faces.

"Sharon is a model tonight!" Carol sounded exasperated.

"But not a girl either!" someone said.

"Yeah" Carol said, "That's technically true, but she is more girl than not, and I dare anybody to say otherwise!"

"Well, she's got a nice rac….uummmph!"

After someone poked whoever was talking in the ribs, everyone went silent, John took my hand as I stepped down. We were quickly surrounded by virtually all of the girls, who whisked me away from a startled John, taking me in the house. Thankfully Carol was right next to me when the questions started.

"Okay honey" Michelle said, "we can all see that you're a knockout, but would you care to tell us how you managed those?"

"They're the very best money can buy" I told her, "and yes, I can take them off."

"Yeah, we figured that, but will you? I mean, we all saw how John looked at you."

"Not just him, most of the guys looked at her like that!" Julie sounded…envious?

"This is too weird!" Marcie was the French Maid. "She looks as good as the rest of us, and she's a guy!"

"Tell me" Carol asked, "Are you going to stay this way? What I mean is, what about school?"

"I'm not going to school like this! Not a chance!" I was adamant.

"Maybe, but after the way John was making those moon eyes at you…"

"John" I said, "was caught up in the moment, that's all." I knew I didn't sound convincing.

"Listen" Janet said sourly, "I tried for a long to get John to look at me the way he was looking at you, and believe me, I'm not the only one, yet here you come, all sweetness and light, wearing a low cut dress, and off you two go! Now you're trying to tell us that this was a one time deal? I can't believe that, not the way you look, and certainly not with those babies it isn't! Those had to cost a fortune, and you wouldn't spend that kind of money for a one time deal. Face it honey, you're one of us now, maybe you always have been, I don't know, and I don't care, but, if you're one of us, then you might as well face it, and just go with the flow!"

"But if I do that" I cried, "I'll be…"

"One of the prettiest girls in the school" Carol said as she squeezed my arm.

"I can't! They'll string me up the flag pole and leave me there!"

No matter what I said, the girls had decided that my place was with them! I knew that while it might be possible for me to attend school as a girl, I still had one term plus another full year in high school! I could only imagine what would happen if I set foot in there dressed that way! All of the girls including myself all went back out to join the guys, and as everyone paired up, John walked over, took my hand, and led me to the table.

"John, what happened…"

"I didn't plan that Sharon, it just happened, but was it so bad?"

"Well, no, but what'll everyone think? They all know that I'm not a girl! Besides that, I know that a lot of girls have their eye on you, and when they find out, I can imagine what's going to happen then!"

"What did the girls tell you?"

"That I should just go with the flow, that I should just give it up and become the girl I look like!"

"So, why don't you?"

By then I was shaking a little. The stress of just being there as a girl, having John attracted to me, then the very idea that many, if not all, of my friends had told me that I should become a girl full time was wearing on me. I wanted to be a girl. I didn't want to go back to being a guy, and having seen myself before I left home, my very essence was busy screaming at me to concede the obvious, yet I was afraid. I had no idea what mom would say, I wasn't sure that even if the school agreed to it that I would survive even one day at school! I wasn't sure, and assuming nobody said anything, that I could manage being a girl every day, no matter what! Playing girl once in a while was one thing, being a girl every day was entirely another. Lost in thought…

"Sharon!"

"Huh? What? Oh, I'm sorry John, I was thinking..."

"About me I hope."

"Some, a little I guess." I sat upright and looked him in the eye. "John, tell me the truth. Why me? I know for a fact that Janet tried everything to get you to notice her, and she's no slouch in the looks department, but you ignored her, and that's just for starters! She's a girl and I'm not, so why me and not her? What is it about me that makes you say that I'm "your kind of girl"?

"Promise you won't tell?" I nodded my head yes. "Well, you're better looking than she is, and I know for sure that you're a better kisser, and I've known you since third grade! How much better does it get than that!?"

"But she's a real girl! She can…I can't…we couldn't…shit! You know what I mean!"

"Just how many girls do you think do that Sharon! Not any I know of, that's for sure!"

He was right and I knew it. We sat there for a bit longer, then he walked me to my car and I went home. I went in through the kitchen, as quiet as I could be, but mom was napping on the couch and heard me come in. She took one look at me and I started bawling like a baby, holding her tightly, unable to even talk. She took me to my room and helped me get undressed, and without a word made sure that I was in bed. I fell asleep almost immediately, waking the next morning not exactly refreshed, but feeling better. I slipped on some jeans and a sweatshirt then padded down to the kitchen. Mom was sipping her coffee.

"Feeling better?"

"Sure mom, a little."

"You were very upset last night. Care to tell me what happened, or shall I guess." I didn't say anything, so she guessed. "Let's see. One, nobody knew who you were, at least not right away, then some boy asked you to dance or something, maybe you just sat together, then he or someone else kissed you. Now you're wondering why, since you are a boy, you liked it, or maybe not, but the very idea that some boy would find you attractive as a girl had thrown you for a loop. But inside, I'll bet that you probably didn't mind one bit." Grinning at me…"How am I doing? Am I close enough?"

"He kissed me mother! Right on the lips! Twice!"

"How was it? I mean, did you like it?"

"It was okay I guess."

"And now, either you or your friends think that you should do what?"

"Go to school this way."

"Big step. Are you going to do it?"

"You're not mad at me are you mom?"

"No dear, I'm not mad. I'm resigned. You were right all along. When I saw the way those breasts of yours looked, I think I knew it then, but when I saw you last night, before you left, I was positive that there wasn't any way that you would ever be happy unless you become a girl. Everything about you changed! You were smiling and happier than I had seen you in a very long time, plus, you were so pretty it almost hurt me to admit it! It was like you were like an entirely new person honey, so the only question is when? When will you find the courage to be the girl you most certainly feel you are?"

"So…you're saying that you don't care? That I should start school as a girl? What about my records? What about the teachers? What are they going to do?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I told you before that I didn't like the idea of you dressing as a girl, and while I could maybe stop you, it won't be long before you turn 18 and you'll be able to do what you want. Then what? What will happen to you then? Just how long would it be before you started dressing as a girl again, and how could you possibly give it up then?" Mom sounded exasperated, maybe, like she said, resigned I guess. Everything she said was probably true, but I didn't have any answers for the future, not even the ones I faced right then! "If I let you do this, you do understand that once you start, there won't be any going back don't you? Maybe, if you waited until the right holiday you could get away with it, but this isn't play acting or a costume for you, is it?" I shook my head no. "Let me think about this. I'll let you know later, but for now, go put on some makeup and brush your hair. You look terrible!"

I did what she told me, then went to the kitchen to do the morning dishes, but just then the doorbell rang. Mom got there before I did. When she opened the door, I heard voices, girl voices, and in walked Carol, Janet, Kelly and Cheryl, all dressed about the same way I was, in jeans and tops. They saw me, and quickly dragged me into the familyroom with mom following along.

"Listen Sharon, and pay attention this time." Janet took me by the arm and spun me so I was facing her. "We talked about you last night after you left; I mean, it's not every day that we find out that some guy looks just as good, if not better in a few cases, than the girls we know! But you do, and you know it! But what do you do about it? You run home to mommy rather than stay with us, especially John, even after we told you that we didn't care!"

"Wait a minute" mom said, "you told Sharon that she should simply admit the obvious, and do what? Attend school as a girl? Become a girl in every way she can?"

"She doesn't have far to go, does she?" asked Cheryl "I mean, look at her! Even when she's not all dolled up she looks like one of us!"

"There are kids in the school that will harass her, maybe even hurt her when they find out, you all know that don't you?" Mom sounded very concerned.

"Believe me" Janet said with a laugh, "she won't be in any danger at all! Not the way Johnny was looking at her! I'll bet that he, and probably a few others, will make sure that nobody bothers her! He's got it bad!"

"Well, my dad's a lawyer" Kelly said, "and he says that, and I quote," "under the new regulations, no student may be restricted from expressing him or her self unless it poses a danger to him or her self or others."

Mom plopped into a chair and sat looking at us. "This boy, Johnny, is he the one that kissed you last night?"

"Mooomm!"

"Kissed? Johnny kissed you?" Janet sounded…stunned.

"Was he any good?" Kelly wanted to know.

"How many times?" Cheryl was grinning.

"I guess that answers that question for you Janet! Johnny has made his choice, and it isn't you!" Carol grabbed my hand when she said that.

"Sharon" mom said softly, "I'll let you do this, but not until I speak to the school and I am assured that you will be safe, but if you do become a girl, then I will expect you to be a girl in every way possible. Okay?"

I agreed of course, and the five of us left mom standing there as we went outside. Janet wasn't as angry as she wanted me to think, Cheryl seemed cool but wasn't unfriendly, and both Kelly and Carol seemed more than okay with what I was about to do. I was risking everything including my life to be the girl I knew that I should have been, yet I felt as if I didn't have a choice. It was either face it or die a slow death as I agonized about it every day. All of them told me to be myself, wear what they usually did, and I would be fine. Then Carol casually mentioned that she heard that John might stop by my house to see me! With a laugh, they left me standing there while they got in the car and drove away. I ran back inside to change, but as soon as mom found out why, she told me that she wasn't having any of that, telling me that I looked fine, and I should just get used to the idea that girls aren't always all dolled up, so all I did was put on some lipstick and run a brush in my hair.

I was very edgy as I waited, which made mom laugh a little, telling me to get used to it! She told me that women have been waiting for men for centuries, and now that wasn't any different than any other woman, I should just get used to it! While I sat there waiting I still wondered if I had the nerve to appear in school as a girl, then what would happen once the jocks saw me. If I were merely lucky I wouldn't be torn to shreds. The muscle heads weren't known for their ability to see a girl as anything but a conquest, and as the "new chick" I would be fair game to them. John showed up about an hour later, all grins and so on. He met my mom, then we sat on the front porch.

"So…are you going to do it?"

"Carol and her friends were here this morning, and they said I might as well."

"That's great! We can…"

"Johnny, why me? How can you…what I mean is, everyone is going to know! Think about yourself! Think what's going to happen to you!"

"Do I look worried?" He took my hand in his, smiled, then…"Sharon, I don't know what it is about you that makes me feel this way, but I do! We have known each other for years, but until last night, I never knew the real you, so I didn't know that you would affect me this way! Besides, nobody will mess with me, I'm to big to pick on and just mean enough to let them know it."

"Yeah but…" I never got the words out because he cupped my face in his hands then kissed me softly on the lips. I wasn't able to do a thing before he kissed me again, but pushed his tongue in my mouth!"

"Does that make it any clearer Sharon?"

"I guess, but what about…" He kissed me again, then pulled back grinning.

"Enough already with the doubts Sharon! You'll be fine! Now, how about we go for a ride?"

Mom said I could go, and we were soon headed out of the city and into the countryside. John had not eased my worry, but he sure did know how to confuse me, as if I needed more of that! We stopped for a bite to eat, then rode around for a couple of hours before he took me home, telling me that he wanted to see me in school the next day, looking just as foxy as I did right then. After he left I looked in the mirror. I didn't feel foxy, whatever that meant, but I did look like a girl. I heard mom talking to someone on the phone, ignored her, and went to my room so I could find even one other boy that had gone to school as a girl, for real. I found some, not a lot, and all of them had written that the terror they felt on that first day wasn't quite as bad as they thought it would be. One girl said that she was threatened, but nothing happened and that sort of thing died down. Most of the girls said that by being themselves they managed, and after a while nobody bothered them at all. When I was done researching I shut down and sat back, wondering if I had the same nerve.

I wanted to be a girl more than anything in the world, and that very thought had been driving me for as long as I could remember, yet now that the chance lay right in front of me, I was choking on the idea of appearing in school wearing a skirt and blouse. Chiding myself for feeling the way I did, I was ready to cast aside Sharon and take my rightful place in society as a male, yet as I glanced in the mirror, I couldn't do that. Everything that I ever dreamed about was embodied in the girl I saw. I just had to know if I were doing the right thing, so I went to find mom. She would know, and I wanted her to tell me.

"Oh! I'm glad you're here! Someone is coming to see you."

"Who?" I asked, but mom didn't tell me, and about ten minutes later the doorbell rang. With mom's urging, I went to get the door. Opening it I saw the Principal of our school standing there! I let her in, not saying a word, and led her into the familyroom. Her eyes were wide open as she looked at me, a bit wider than usual, then she regained her composure.

"You must be Sharon" she said. "I had a call from several of your friends, both yesterday and today, plus another from your attorney. Your friends said that they couldn't see any reason that you couldn't attend school as a girl, then your lawyer pointed out the law. But of course I am familiar with the law. I came here today after talking with your mother; I had to see for myself if you were what everyone told me."

"Please" mom said, "sit down. You too Sharon."

"Sharon has told me that she has felt this way since she was very young, and over the years has managed to practice, getting so good that she has become the girl we see sitting here." Then mom went on to describe how I came to be there like that.

"My first concern" my Principal said "is your safety of course, and regardless of what the law says, I have the right to make those kinds of decisions myself. If you had looked like a boy in a dress I never would have allowed it, however, you look quite nice! If I allow this, then one of the ways to help protect you is to have you start at the beginning of the new term, as a new student. That way I can effect a new ID card and dismiss you from some of the classes that girl normally take, like gym. However, if I do this, you will be treated like all of the other girls in every respect, and you must meet the dress code at all times. Is that satisfactory?" I wanted to jump up and kiss her, but smiled instead. "I'll take that as a yes then. We have six weeks of school left in this term, so I'll expect you to return as the boy that you are and conduct yourself accordingly until the start of the new term. At that time you are to report to me on the first day. Okay?"

Time crawled by as I waited for that day to arrive, and when it did I had once again attached my breast forms, dressed in a navy and white plaid skirt and a white blouse, brushed out my hair, then, after hugging mom, I drove to the school. I had not told anyone what I was going to do, telling them that I had to think about it for a while. All of the girls seemed okay with that but Johnny didn't like it one bit. I was given a new ID and class schedule, and for the first time I went to class as a girl. I passed Kelly in the hall, saw her spin around and stare, but I went into the room without pausing. None of the kids that knew were in that class and I was accepted as the new girl I was. But when class was over and I left the room, Cheryl, Janet and Kelly were waiting for me.

"Why" Janet asked, "didn't we know that you were starting today!"

"Yeah!" Cheryl said, "we thought we were your friends!"

"Quiet! I didn't tell anyone because I'm supposed to be a brand new student! I didn't want anyone to slip up and say anything, because even if it was a mistake it might ruin everything!"

That seemed to satisfy them, and we all headed for our next class. I didn't have the slightest bit of trouble all day, even when I used the ladies restroom, so I managed to relax and tried to fit in. Because I wasn't that tall for a girl, I got the eye from almost every boy in school as they "checked me out", but I ignored that. By the end of the day I felt as if I had passed one of the major hurdles in life. Johnny asked me out, and because of my new status I said yes, and I went on my first real date. He and I started going out quite a bit, and quickly became known as a couple, which was both good and bad. He felt he had a pretty girlfriend, I loved the idea that I had been accepted as both a girl and a girlfriend, but if anyone found out, well, that was the bad part. Mom and I settled into a familiar routine again, and while I always dressed as a girl, she treated me about the same.

As far as I was concerned I had made it. I had become the girl that I wanted to be, only my padding and breast forms hiding the real truth. But I was quite willing to use them for as long as it took, and never mentioned it to mom, or anyone else for that matter. John did manage to get his hand on one of my breasts once, and while it made him feel good I never felt a thing, and that frustrated me, making me wish that I had the real thing. But that didn't happen until the next summer when mom finally took me to see a doctor. He knew about boys like me, and gave me some pills to take. It wasn't a magic pill, I had to wait for the results, which didn't happen until my last term in high school. I had developed a full A cup breast of my own and no longer needed the padding by then. It was just after I had cast aside the breast forms that I let John slip his hand under my blouse and feel the real me. I was tingling all over by the time I got home, positive that becoming a girl was the right decision for me.

I am a woman now, three years after it all started, just as much a woman as Carol, Janet, or Cheryl, who are still my best friends. John attends the same college I do, and still tells me that I'm his kind of girl, the only difference is that now he's right, I am his kind of girl.

 

 

 

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© 2001 by Janet Stickney. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.
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