The following work of fiction is copyrighted material. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written permission of the author.

 

Hello, Nurse               by: Traci Klawes   Ó 2001

 

"Hurry up," Jenny said over her shoulder. "I really don’t want to get expelled."

"Me neither," Sara’s voice whispered from the darkened lab. "It was hard enough getting into pre-med. I’m almost done."

While she scanned the deserted hallway, Jenny ran the events of the past few days through her head. It still surprised her that it had taken them so long to realize they had been dating the same guy. Considering they were best friends - and roommates - two months seemed an awfully long time. Of course, it was a point in their favor that he’d used two different names. She wiped her hands on her jeans. The whole thing made her feel dirty, somehow, like she’d done something wrong.

Or maybe it’s just my palms sweating from nervousness, she thought. What could be taking her so long? She should have the tranquilizer and be out of there by now. Of course, she’s nothing if not thorough. Hurry up! Hurry UP!

"So are we gonna just stand here, or what?" Sara’s voice startled her. "You were supposed to keep a lookout, not stare into space." They hurried back across campus to their dorm and tiptoed to their room. They sank down onto the futon with relief. Revenge was sweet, but neither of them wanted to ruin their college careers… not to mention their medical careers.

"That was scary." Sara was flushed. "But it was fun, too."

"Let’s just hope no one finds out about our fun," Jenny replied. "I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. Do you really think we should?"

"Duh. It was my idea. Of course I do. Besides, the only one who will know is Carl, or Stan, or whatever the hell his name is. Somehow, I don’t think he’ll be telling anyone any time soon."

They collapsed in a fit of giggles; partially with relief, and partially at the absurdity of their undertaking. It helped that he didn’t know they were roommates. It helped more that they hadn’t confronted him yet.

"Why don’t you get ready for your date," suggested Jenny. "We don’t want him to suspect anything is… amiss."

"Funny," Sara managed to choke out around a mouthful of giggles. She dashed around the room, trying to find the perfect ensemble to fit her mood. She settled on leather. "I’ll bring him back to you soon. You might want to wait up for this."

Several hours later, the door slammed open.

"Gimme a hand with him," Sara called. "I had to practically carry him up the stairs." Jenny hurried to help, and between the two of them, they soon had him naked in the bathtub. The tub made a hollow boom as the back of his skull glanced off it. Jenny began to rub the depilatory cream over his body while Sara began plucking his brows.

Gosh, he doesn’t have all that much hair to remove, Jenny mused. This shouldn’t take long at all. Oops. Missed a spot… there. She grabbed another tweezers and started to help Sara.

"Do you think we should dye his hair, too?" Jenny asked. "I have a bottle of bright red."

"Great idea! You finish here while I do it." Twenty minutes later they began to rinse the various chemicals off his limp form. Carrying him to the futon was easy, considering he wasn’t that large.

"I can see where you got the idea," Jenny remarked. "He’s not exactly jock material. How long should he be out for?"

"I think I may have overestimated his weight," Sara confessed. "It might be a little longer than the two hours I had planned."

It was three hours, twenty-six minutes, to be precise. In that time, the two women managed to accomplish a great deal. They even had time to dash to the store for the materials to do things they hadn’t originally planned. While Sara went shopping, Jenny satisfied her curiosity. She rummaged through his things until she found his wallet.

Stanley Carl Thompson, She read to herself. It figures. He gave me the fake name. Well, I’m going to return the favor… though not in a way he’d suspect. She smiled to herself, looking down at him. You said you had a thing for nurses. You should thank us for this.

They finished within half an hour of Sara’s return. They had time for several cups of coffee after that, waiting impatiently for their creation to wake. Finally they heard a low moan, and rushed to stand where he could see both of them.

"Hunh…" he mumbled

"Surprise!" The girls shouted. "We’re roommates!"

"Ship," came the response. He may have intended to say something else, but it would be a while before the sedative wore off enough for intelligible speech. He looked blearily from one to the other and back.

"How many other women are you stringing along?" Sara glared. Since the response was only barely related to human speech, she continued. "I bet they’re all nurses, right? Well guess what, beautiful, we found a way for you to be happy without having to tell more than one girl that she’s the only one." She reached behind her, and with all the flair of a magician’s assistant, pulled on the corner of a sheet. It revealed a large mirror propped against the opposite wall. The reflection was definitely not that of someone who would be dating nurses or medical students. Unless, of course, they were of the male persuasion.

Stan stared in groggy shock. He was wearing a nurse’s uniform – not the kind actually worn by real nurses, but the kind you can only find in costume shops and bookstores. The tiny white dress barely came to mid thigh, and was set off by a white nurse’s cap and stiletto heels. He tried to focus on what he was seeing. Were those white fishnets? Red cross on the hat, red long nails, red hair????

Do I actually have breasts? Stan’s mind fumbled. Bright lights flashed in his eyes. What happened to me?

"We wanted to make sure your eyes were open when we took the pictures," Jenny told him. "You have a pretty smile. These will look so nice in the newspaper!"

" Of course, I’m sure there’ll be more pictures of you when we drop you off on Main Street," Sara put in. "I suggest you tell people your name is ‘Nancy Carla’ unless someone finds otherwise before you can move enough to walk home."

"Nancy" began shaking "her" head weakly. "She" tried to get up several times, only to fall back into the seductive pose they had "her" in.

"Don’t hurt yourself," Jenny ordered.

"And don’t mess up your pretty makeup," Sara added. "It took us a long time to make you that lovely. We won’t show anyone the pictures, if we can make sure that we’ve taught you a lesson."

"You may have to be ‘Nurse Nancy’ for a while." Jenny smirked. "We seem to have taken your clothes out with the trash. Oh, and the bedrooms are locked, so don’t even think about stealing my sweat suit."

"Nancy" looked at her, wide eyed and mouth agape. "She" looked down at "herself" again examining neatly manicured hands, tight fitting dress, gaudy jewelry, and shoes. When one of the girls held a hand mirror in front of "her" face, "she" gaped at the exquisite job they had done on "her" makeup. In his drug-confused state, Stan was finding it hard to accept that he wasn’t who he… "she" appeared to be. Pretty eyes closed, and soon there was a beautiful nurse sleeping on the futon again.

 

Nancy woke gradually, aware that she had a kink between her shoulder blades. She sat up, stretched prettily, and yawned. She glanced around, and noticed Jenny dozing in a chair nearby.

"Good morning," she said brightly. Jenny started awake.

"Oh, I dozed off. We took turns watching you last night." Jenny told her. "We got a little scared after you zonked out again."

"Zonked out?" Nancy inquired. "I don’t remember that. Thanks for letting me crash here. Did I drink too much? Last night is pretty much a blank."

"You don’t remember?" Jenny seemed shocked. "Stay right here while I go get Sara." She raced to the other room. Nancy heard muffled conversation. They must have been talking about someone else, since she heard one of them say, "Let’s have fun with him." There was a lot more muttering from the other room. Nancy got bored, so she checked her face in the small mirror lying close by.

I must have slept like a rock, she thought to herself. I barely messed up my makeup. It only needs a few touches. She stood up and looked around the room.

"Do either of you know what I did with my purse?" She called across the room. A muffled exclamation came from behind the door, and both girls hurried out.

"Your purse?" Sara asked in a surprised tone.

"Yeah. Did I even come in with it?"

Sara and Jenny stared at each other, speechless. Eventually, Jenny managed to get her vocal cords under control.

"I … uh… didn’t see you bring one in," she stammered. "Are you sure you had it?"

"I’m not sure," answered Nancy. "Like I said, last night’s kind of fuzzy. Did I throw up? I think I remember you two cleaning me up. Thanks," she beamed.

"What do you remember?" Sara asked her.

There followed a long, seemingly pointless conversation as they asked her question after question. Where did she live – 1013 Center Street. What was her age - 22. Where did she work – NeuCo. Where did she grow up – right here. They kept coming back to the same question.

"I told you! Nancy Carla Thompson," she stormed. "Do you think I don’t know my own name?"

She stamped her foot daintily.

"I think you should probably stay the day here. After last night, I don’t think you should go to work today," Jenny stated. It sounded reasonable.

"I think you’re right," Nancy agreed sheepishly. "I’ll call into work. May I use your phone?" She went to the phone table and had a few short, sharp conversations.

"I think someone is playing a prank on me. My boss said he’s never heard of me, and my roommate told me I had the wrong number. May I stay here until I figure this all out?"

Jenny and Sara agreed quickly. They were nice enough to loan her some more comfortable clothes. It must have been some date she went on to wake up in this getup!

 

I’m glad we used super glue, thought Sara. He…she hasn’t noticed anything odd. Now how are we going to handle all this?

 

The End.

 

 

 

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© 2001 by Traci Klawes. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.