Heaven and Hell IV: Balancing Act

by

Maggie Finson

 

Syl and I emerged from the gate we had used to leave the rogue angel's citadel into an unpleasantly familiar place. Wrinkling my nose at the odors of brimstone, fear, and blood along with far less agreeable scents I stared at the monstrous gates. They were that in more ways than one, believe me. Have you ever had the carvings and graffiti on The Gates of Hell described to you? Well, ever mind for now. Use your imagination to conjure up the most completely disgusting panorama your twisted little id can devise, multiply that by at least ten, and you might, just might come close to the originals. But I doubt it.

"What?" I questioned my larger companion with a quick glare. "Are we returning defective merchandise today?"

"Defective merchandise?" the Hell Maid frowned, then threw back her head and actually drowned out other demonic and hopeless soul screams with her booming, tenor laugh. "Are you implying that you might be the returned merchandise, little sister?"

"The thought had crossed my mind," I grumbled, then rushed on with a nearly breathless and completely air-headed sounding voice. "I know that isn't a worthy thought all things considered, but..."

"But nothing!" Syl bellowed while delivering a resounding, companionable clap to my back. "You, little sister, are nothing short of an unqualified success that even has some of the older Angels taking notice.

Wouldn't think of getting rid of you now! Besides, I've gotten kind of attached to your scrawny, soft hide."

"That's a relief," I grunted while flapping my wings for balance. "Then why are we here?"

"Now I know for a fact that you aren't stupid, Angelique," my companion snorted. "Why do already established members of Clans here in Hell usually come to The Gates?"

"Uh, Helga comes to play,"

"Other than Hell Hounds and Soul Herders."

"Oh," letting out a long sigh I turned to favor the receiving area with its extensive counters run by officiously obnoxious clerkly demons with a less than enthusiastic glance. "Well, then, let's get it over with. Who, or what, are we collecting?"

"A soul condemned here for murder," Syl replied while digging through her capacious rucksack for several moments before triumphantly brandishing a pick up order. "Here it is! We're after one Edward Hemmings, tried, judged, and executed by his peers in the Human Realms for the murder of his wife and the man he found in bed with her."

"That name sounds familiar,"

"It should," the Hell Maid began elbowing her way through the usual milling crowd around the counter area and I prudently made use of the path she was clearing. "We owe the presence of our lovely and somewhat nerve wracking Lorilei to Mr. Hemmings."

"That Ed Hemmings!" I adroitly dodged an angry kick from a sharp edged hoof belonging to one of the disgruntled demons Syl had dislodged from its position in line while grinning. "So what's in store for him?"

"Well," Syl grinned evilly. (Trust me, an evil grin from a Hell Maid would curdle cheese at a hundred paces. Their friendly grins are scary enough to see, not that they're hideous or anything, just very, very -- well, evil.) "Mr. Hemmings is going to be treated to an orgy that would make any man think he had died and gone to Heaven, then will wake up as Hell's Valkyrie number two."

I perked up at that. "You mean I won't be the newbie any longer?"

"Well not the newbie," Syl allowed with another grin that turned serious for a moment. "If you work out as well as you seem to be with the start you've had, little sister, you might just end up heading your own Clan."

"Sheesh! Like I don't have enough to worry about already," I grumped, but then grinned back tooth for tooth at my big companion. "Well, let's go get him. I can't wait to quit being the junior member of this outfit."

"I thought that's what we were doing," Syl gave me a look usually reserved for total idiots then continued forcing her way through to the front of the line.

"Uh, Syl?" I questioned after dodging more irate swings, kicks, and nips. "Why are we in such a hurry?"

"Rumor has it that Mab wants this one, too," Syl growled as we neared the counter.

"Mab?" I knew that name, and what it was connected with in Hell. My experience with her minions had not been pleasant. "Is She recruiting for more Hags now?"

"She wants this one soul rather badly," Syl nodded. "Lillith would interfere just to spite the nasty bitch, but evidently Mr. Hemmings has a reservoir of potential he was never truly aware of. With the political climate down here shaky as it is with The Truce and how different factions are reacting to it, Lucifer wants this newbie with us, not Mab."

"So why doesn't He just give the order that makes it so?" I asked in all innocence, or was that ignorance?

"First come, first served at The Gates," the Hell Maid countered almost gently. "Lillith shunted Michael, who became Lorilei straight to her own offices in The Center, you, she hid away in that little cave and shielded your presence until Lor, Helga, and I came to grab you. Mab found out abut those little tricks and lodged a complaint with Infernal Affairs. So we play this one straight. More or less."

"More or less?" I countered, realizing that we were actually paralleling the counter rather than moving towards it. "And how did you get all this information anyway? We just got back."

"Succubae are messengers that make the old Greek God Mercury look like a feeble old man," Syl replied while giving me a fatalistic shrug. "You were preoccupied with that Angel, so whoever brought the message slipped it to me instead."

"Oh," I replied in a small voice. (Hey, I hadn't been female all that long, and Tiand -- the Angel in question -- had been drawn to me like an iron filing to a magnet. Even though I hadn't, and didn't really want to admit to the fact, I was attracted to him as well.)

"Oh, is right," giving me a knowing, and lascivious grin Syl continued in the direction she had been plowing. "Now, pay attention to business."

"I will, mommy." Following her amid the growls, curses, and incredibly obscene gestures we were garnering while plowing through the crowd, I noticed we were nearing the end of the pickup area and actually approaching The Gates themselves. "Uh, Syl, why are we heading for The Gates?"

"Remember when I said 'more or less' about playing this one straight?" she responded with another grin that would have been unnerving if I hadn't known her for awhile. This one meant that she was genuinely amused over something. That turned to a brief glower before she added, "and I won't forget that 'mommy' crack."

"I'm sure you won't," giving a resigned shrug as visions of even more hellish 'training exercises' came to mind, I turned the subject back to the present business. "Now, about 'more or less'? It might help me to keep my mind on our business if I knew what we were up to, you know."

"Easy, chickee," Syl laughed as I winced at that nickname. "Mr. Hemmings hasn't arrived yet.

We're going to catch him right out of The Gate."

"Oh, that's good," I gave the steadily plodding quadruple line of condemned souls coming out of The Gate an incredulous look. "I only see one little problem with that."

"What's that, little sister?"

"We forgot to bring the sign we hold up with his name on it."

"You can make one if you like." Syl grinned as I continued watching the flood of souls with a resigned expression on my face. "I happen to have something a little better than that."

"What? a bullhorn to shout his name with?"

"Nope, I have this," Syl held up an ugly black string that passed from her hand then through the myriad souls plodding to their various punishments, and on through the gates.

"A soul string," light dawned as I watched the nasty looking thing twitch as it went taut, then loosened in my companion's grip. Given how Mr. Hemmings was condemned, there was a connection between him and Lor - unfinished business, so to speak. "But how did you get it?"

"Lor loaned it to me," Syl gave another toothy grin and winked at me. "Since she isn't really in any shape to come herself, I just sort of detached it -- with her permission -- at the Rogue's place. She thinks the plan is hilarious, by the way."

"Which part?" I questioned, "Outmaneuvering Mab, or getting our hooks into the man who killed her?"

"Both," Syl replied as she began winding the cord on a rather large spool. "Now help me reel him in, would you?"

That damned spool was full by the time a rather bedraggled and still struggling soul literally popped through The Gates and was yanked into my waiting arms. He'd been a large man in life and that still manifested in his disembodied soul, which made a handful for poor little me. Not that I couldn't handle him, but I was already a bit annoyed at all the kicks and bites that I had dodged on my path to The Gates.

"If you don't stop struggling like a trout out of water, I'm going to hurt you, Ed," I growled after turning him to face me. "We're not here to hurt you, or drag you off to the pits reserved for murderers, but I'm not in a real pleasant mood just now and would greatly enjoy using force to subdue you."

An ungentle nudge in my ribs from Syl distracted me enough to hear her halfway amused, slightly frustrated aside. "You have other powers, dummy, use them!"

"Oh, right," I made the armor and weaponry disappear and manifested a brief, gauzy little number that left absolutely nothing to anyone's imagination, then gave the poor frightened soul my most winning smile of invitation and kissed him fully on the mouth before going on. "If you do settle down I can make this part of the trip really pleasant for you."

My hand had wandered to his crotch and started lightly rubbing with the expected results, and I extended my Succubus abilities to heighten his desire while dropping my voice into Male Meltdown Sexy Mode "Oh, yes, very pleasant. If you just come along like a good little boy I can promise you an experience like none you've ever had in either life or death, Eddie boy."

Good old Eddie's eyes widened and his tongue almost hung out of his mouth as I stroked his libido and other parts with a slow, sensuous smile on my face while cooing . "Now come along like a nice boy, and Angelique will show you what you've been missing all these years."

I turned my back, and sauntered away from him with a quick glance over my shoulder and a lazy smile.

He would have followed me into Hell after that. (Come to think of it, that's what he was doing, wasn't it?)

"It's 'bout time," Syl grumbled, then grinned at me before going back to scanning the milling throngs in the immense receiving chamber. With a frown, then an evil chuckle, she quietly warned me of imminent action. "Heads up, beautiful. It's show time!"

Showtime turned out to be a group of five gorgeous young females who had detoured from their original destination (The Counter ,of course) to intercept us. I recognized them as Hags in full dress for seduction and internally sniffed at the sloppiness of their illusions. Little things like a whiff of foul body odor, a rag sticking out from under one of their lovely illusory outfits, and a wavering of their images were not something most mortals, or new to Hell souls would notice, though. Wrinkling my nose in distaste, I waved Ed to stand behind me and exerted a bit more Influence on him to make sure he did.

"Dark Stars and Damnation," I quietly swore under my breath, then quietly told Syl, "I detest Hags."

"Most of your kind do, hon," my companion nodded. "It's a territory thing, and the reaction of perfection to a poor imitation masquerading as the real thing. Just keep your cool until I give the word, then you can whammy the bitches to your little heart's content."

"I've seen what those nasty bitches do to people in my human existence," I went on with clear distaste in my mouth. "They don't care what they ruin, and never bother to clean up their own messes. I refused to deal with them at all, other than to drive them off when I was a Human sorcerer."

"Wise of you," Sylvanna agreed as she loosened the heavy battle axe hanging over her shoulder so it could be drawn quickly. "Now get ready, we may have a fight on our hands here. These bitches are sneaky, cowardly, and just plain nasty to deal with in a one on one situation. In a group they're actually dangerous."

For the first time since I'd awakened as Hell's newest type of denizen, I realized that I was actually not only ready for a fight, but anxious to get into it. I absolutely hated those creatures on sight in addition to not being in the best of moods to begin with.

"Well what do we have here?" One of the Hags, appearing to be a statuesque brunette with her dark hair playing at ripe buttocks and teasingly flirting with her full, firm breasts, grinned while she looked us over, and her companions spread into a loose inverted wedge with us in its center. "A Hell Maid, a newbie Suckie, and our property. So good of you to fetch him for us. Her majesty, Mab will be sooo grateful for your assistance. Now just hand him over and we won't have to get messy here."

Hags are magic users, and while the leader tried to distract us, the others probed my link with a very quiet Ed, trying to sever it and replace it with one of their own. My own magical shield, set over him before the nasty things even showed up, glowed as the probes touched it, and I deftly reached out to slap them back. (None too gently, by the way. I have mentioned that I hate Hags, haven't I?)

"Naughty, naughty," I admonished with a feral grin as the four other ersatz beauties (two blondes, a redhead, and another brunette) staggered with surprised looks on their faces. In passing, I noted that the usual swarm of denizens in the receiving area were giving our two groups a very wide berth and that we were in the center of a rather large area completely empty of either demons or condemned souls. I guess even the stupid ones can feel trouble coming. There was a gathering at the perimeter of the circle, though, with every Demonic type in the general area crowding, spitting, and biting to get a better view.

The leader of the Hags snarled, then brandished a rolled up parchment. "We have authorizations to pick this one up. Mab wants him, and She is going to have him. We can do this easy, or hard. That's up to you two uppity bitches. Personally I'd prefer the hard way, though."

"I only see one problem with that pick up order," Syl smoothly replied while casually reaching over her shoulder to get her axe. "It won't hold up when we already have possession of the item in question. Possession and nine tenths of the law, you know."

"Tell your seductress to let go of him, now." the leader ordered as her companions began assembling spells to see that her order happened. "Or things are going to get real nasty here."

"What, you mean they haven't already?" I questioned sweetly with an innocent expression on my face as I quietly jabbed magically at the others to mess up their spell casting. "The neighborhood went to -- ahem -- Hell in a heartbeat when you girls showed up."

"Little girls shouldn't use a smart mouth on their betters," the leader of the opposition growled at me, then turned a syrupy sweet smile on Ed. "Now, fella, you have one beauty with her hooks in you now, and trust me she means no good for you regardless of what she might have hinted at. There are five of us, with an old goddess behind us, willing to save you from the fate she and her devious sisters have in mind for you, probably as a food source, she is a Succubus and I think you know what they do to males. All you have to do is say the word, and you can walk away with us, we'll protect you."

Ed was beginning to waver as he watched the illusory beauties strike seductive poses of invitation. All that smooth gleaming flesh, the curves, mamamaries, and sweet faces pouting at him would have been sickening under regular conditions. Knowing the truth behind those facades of youthful beauty, I'd plain and simply had enough of it. I quietly gave Ed's eyes the power of True Sight, something I'd likely regret later on, and just for grins used a powerful counter spell to shred the bitches' illusions. The growls and shrieks from the spectators let me know that the spell had been maybe a bit overdone as illusions clothing creatures in the audience winked out too.

The effect on Ed, as he first watched the beautiful forms of the Hags waver, then blink out completely to be replaced with three stick thin, ugly crones with oozing sores and bad cases of halitosis (not to mention a total lack of personal hygeine) and two grossly fat creatures that might have been female if one used imagination and gave them the benefit of the doubt, was gratifying. He retched, and squeezed closer to me than he had been since the beginning of that confrontation. The only problem with that was we were now in a fight, and having a very frightened soul clinging to me like a second set of clothes was not a good thing.

"Little girl, am I?" I sneered at the now grossly obese and sore encrusted leader of the Hags. (She was a brunette, though her hair was now a tangled, snarled mess any self respecting comb or brush would have run in terror from) "I was using magic and running your kind off every time I saw them centuries ago. And that hasn't changed now. Get out of here, or I'll start getting serious about ridding myself of your stinking presence."

"You're going to regret that, Bit....Waaugh!" The leader started whipping up a very nasty spell to throw at me as she howled in rage. Which I interrupted with a quick bolt of molten plasma Hell

Fire that scattered her various noxious pieces all over the receiving area in a cloud of noisome mist. Not to mention adding a new cave/cubby to the wall behind the pick up counter. Seeing those officious clerks scattering and diving for cover was pretty gratifying too, by the way.

Syl had her axe out and ready, but was staring at me with something akin to awe as I casually stepped into the spot the defunct Hag had occupied and purred to the others like a cat in the cream that had found a mouse swimming in it, too. "Now that felt really good. I'm already in a really pissy mood, so I would strongly advise the rest of you to take your ball and go home. Although if you really do want to play, I'd be more than happy to let you."

"Uh, you all might keep something in mind here," Syl added quietly, still watching me while keeping tabs on the four remaining Hags. "Angie here has killed Angels, so I don't really think she'd have all that much trouble backing her threats up with your lot."

So far, I'd quite easily deflected and flattened their own seduction spells, blown their illusions (which

Hags are reputed to be very good at) away, and totally demolished their leader. On top of that, I now held a crackling ball of energy that was spitting sparks and small bolts of lightning in one hand that was quickly recognizable as an area effect spell that was particularly devastating. That was enough for the four remaining Hags. With parting snarls they bolted and ran. Leaving us in the center of an even wider circle of emptiness than before.

I cancelled out the illusion in my hand with a small chuckle. "Now that felt good, Syl. Shall we go, Ed, dear? We have things to do and people to see, after all."

Ed gave me a frightened look, then started as Syl put a hand on his shoulder. "Easy, boyo, we aren't going to hurt you. Angie's little display there was to protect you, after all. By the way, that Hag she blew away was an old one, don't know what her name was, but she was pretty powerful as those nasty bitches go. I think you'd better do like she asks, don't you?"

Ed only nodded with a glazed look in his eyes, and Syl favored me with a look that plainly said we were going to have a loong discussion about this when we got home.

At least I didn't have to dodge angry hooves and claws on our path to the waiting portal for transport to Home. I also noticed currency changing hands, claws, and pincers as we made our way through the receiving area, and idly wondered what kind of odds Syl and I had been given in the encounter. From the sour looks and amounts of stuff passing from one to another, I figured they had been pretty long ones.

 

* * * *

 

"So how much trouble am I in?" I asked no one in particular as we emerged in the gardenlike comfort of Home.

"Well, let's see," Syl began counting points off on her fingers as Ed stared in dumbfounded amazement at the scenery - I think he may have even noticed the Acacia trees and flowering shrubs, but I wouldn't have made book on it. A large number of Succubae were wandering over to where we had appeared, and more were beginning to drift our way as my companion began her litany.

"First, you neglected to remember that you have talents beyond bashing things for a while, until I reminded you. Second, you blew away an emmissary from another area of Hell in view of just about every type of demon in existence there in the receiving area. Third, you blew an extra hole in a wall already riddled with them and had the receiving clerks taking extra breaks to change their pants because the bolt blasted right across their counter," Syl paused to draw in a breath, gripping Ed's shoulder to keep him from wandering off as she did. "Then..."

"You deprived your companion of the fun she had been getting ready for by stripping illusions away from their wearers for several hundred yards around you," another, rich feminine voice picked up the thread and I winced as I recognized who it belonged to. Mother Lillith tilted her head and shook her glorious mane of flame red hair off her shoulder, then finished. "Then single handedly sent four well seasoned, and fairly ancient Hags running off to the safety of their Mother Mab's shadow. All without so much as breaking even what would appear to be a little sweat. Between you and little Lorilei, I've been doing more damage control the past few months than I had to contend with in several previous centuries. What am I going to do with you?"

"Uh, send me to bed without supper?" I weakly replied. (Hey, I know it was lame, but you try looking Lillith in the face and telling her to really punish you. I dare you.)

"But you did," the original Succubus, and Adam's first wife pursed her full lips in consideration, "make sure Mab didn't get her hooks on Edward here. Which is what I sent you and Sylvanna to do, after all."

"Well, yeah, I did help do that," I agreed carefully. With Lillith, you can never be too sure where something is leading until you're either in a luxury suite, or falling off the edge of a very high cliff.

"Mab is going to be very angry about your destroying Tiamhaidh, by the way," Lillith went on thoughtfully, "and about losing her prize to us yet again."

"Uh, I take it Tiamhaidh was the pile of rancid lard I blew up?"

"Rancid lard?" Mother Lillith lost her serious demeanor for a moment as a chuckle escaped her mouth. "I'll have to remember that one, dear, and yes, Tiamhaidh was one of Mab's lieutenants, and one of the older ones at that. What you did over there generated a lot of healthy fear of you, which equates as respect in many circles of Hell, and only heightened the reputation of the Succubae in general. The one down side in all that is you made a very powerful, and nasty enemy in the former Queen of the Fae with your stunts. She always did hate being embarrassed or shown up by anyone. I'd love to be able to hear her ranting and screaming over this one, my precocious little darling."

"So now what? Am I confined to Home, or quarters, or something?" I questioned, with an unpleasant picture in my mind of a raging one-time goddess painting a large target on my backside. Then couldn't stifle a giggle at the ridiculous picture that made.

"Just watch your back, child," Lillith let out a tired sigh. "You and Lor can both take care of yourselves in most head on confrontations, but still lack experience with the subtleties of treachery that could snare you. I warn you, Mab is a past mistress of that, three time champion of Hell in double dealing and sneakiness. So consider yourself warned, and do try to be a bit more subtle when you go about your business, couldn't you?"

'Uh, ok, I'll do my best, Mother," my response was an honest one, and after dealing with the Hall of Mages on an adversarial basis for several centuries I had thought myself pretty good with watching for just about any kind of treachery that might sneak my way.

"And start teaching some of your sisters here to use that quick draw spell technique, could you?" Lillith asked, making it a command just by saying the words. "That skill will prove very useful in the future, I think."

"Sure, I'd be glad to, Mother,"

"Good, consider yourself officially chastised, and let's get on with the important business at hand, shall we?"

Important business. Oh, right! Ed, with his newly gifted sense of true seeing was oggling the abundant, and real multitude of female flesh gathered around us with something like lust gone into disbelieving awe, then on into heart attack territory if he had still been a living breathing creature. Lillith giggled after watching his reactions for a few seconds then winked at me. "I think he's ready, don't you?"

"Any more ready, Mother," I drawled, "and he'd be humping the nearest tree just for relief."

"THAT MIGHT BE ENTERTAINING," Mama's all encompassing voice joined our conversation.

"I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD LAY IN EONS. LORILEI IS ON HER WAY, LILLITH, DEAR."

"Good, once she arrives, we can get started." Lillith nodded. "Thank you for calling her, Mama."

"OH, SHE WOULDN'T MISS THIS ONE FOR ALL THE SOULS IN CHINA." Mama assured us with a deep, rumbling chuckle. "I HAD TO RESTRAIN HER FROM JOINING THE COLLECTION PARTY SO SHE COULD FINISH HEALING."

"Bet she just loved that," I whispered to Syl, who shrugged noncommitally then grinned in response.

"Just how much fun did I miss out on?" Lorilei stalked regally into the midst of our group, with a quick grin and low bow to acknowledge Lillith, then turning to give Ed Hemmings a long, calculating look. "Ed, good to see you again!"

"Uh, have we met before?" Men. I don't know how I survived as one for as long as I did. Get a look at some pretty bodies and faces (oh, all right, some incredibly gorgeous females even if they all did have horns, tails and wings) and the blood deserts the brain -- where it's generally needed in that kind of situation -- and fills the one thing that has gotten more males into trouble than Eve and her apple ever thought of. Ed simply stared at Lor as if she was the main course following some very delightful appetizers.

"Oh, yes, Eddie, darling," Lor cooed as she moved gracefully to stand in front of him and deliberately placed one hand on a distractingly curved hip while pursing her lips in feigned hurt that he didn't recall her from the past. "But we can discuss all that later. I can see that you're all primed and loaded for -- um -- a she bear? Well, no matter, I'll just start getting you some of that wonderful relief you sooo obviously need just now."

"Urgh!" Ed stiffened as Lorilei's other hand reached out to tickle his quite obvious erection. (Newbies in Hell don't get clothes, you know.) Relief, it seemed, was not something the little minx intended to give the poor sap any time soon as she continued teasing him to the point of being merciless.

Well, he had shot and killed her in her previous incarnation, and was pretty much responsible for her being what she was, (Okay, that's reaching, I know. But Sheesh! If good ol' Ed Hemmings hadn't gotten angry enough to lose it and shoot both his loving wife and her illicit lover, Lor wouldn't be here at all.) and for where she was. Well, all right, some would say that her behavior as a male was the cause of placement, and the form she now wore a just punishment for an overactive libido as a Human male. You tell her that. Go ahead, I dare you.

"Get in there, Angelique," Lillith urged, along with a not so gentle pat to my backside for encouragement. "This guy is going to become one of yours, after all, so a bit of input from you is going to be required."

This female thing may still have been kind of new to me, but I knew an order when I heard it.

Besides, a good orgy was just what I needed about then and I really, really liked the having sexual relations part of the new me. So, I joined in the fun as the gathered sisters, and two mothers, began singing.

Lor and I took turns draining the masculine energy from the unsuspecting Ed's soul, and replacing what we took with the needed feminine version of that energy. I really don't recall how many different positions we used, or how often I was on top, underneath the other two, or in the middle. Not that it mattered to me, or to Ed, or Lor, we were having the greatest sex possible for Succubae, and one-time Human males. We were creating a new being out of an old one.

I threw in my own obvious strengths, with weapons and fighting techniques, and awakened the sleeping potential for magic in Ed's being. Lor, added her own rather unique self and magical ability, along with her undeniable lust for male essence, flesh (well part of the male, anyway), and the usual Succubus characteristics to balance my Hell Maid inspired input. By the time we finished, all three of us were an exhausted, sated, tangle of wings, tails, arms and legs. With the notable absence of a certain piece of male anatomy that had started the party with us.

'Wonder what color her eyes are?" I idly questioned while looking over the scarlet winged beauty with hair like molten flame covering her lush, if slender (for a succubus) form. As if in response those large almond shaped beauties snapped open to reveal themselves as a very startling, and lovely, ice Blue that contrasted nicely with her generally scarlet color scheme.

"Umm?" the newly made she moaned in a satiny, electifying contralto.

"Your name is now officialy Victoria. Go back to sleep, dear." I leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then began gently untangling myself from both her and Lor as my -- my -- child settled back into a deep and restful sleep.

"Hey!" Lor gave my tail a little whack. "Keep that thing where it belongs, will you? And I had something to do with her, too, you know."

"I know, Lor," Finally disentangled, and helping the smaller Succubus to her delicate hooves, I enveloped my teacher and friend in a tight hug. "But Victoria is my first."

"Ok, little sister," Lor grumbled, then flashed one of her famous infectious grins. "She's only my second. But I know how you feel."

"Can we cook, or what?" I asked while watching my newly made daughter(?), sleep.

"I'd sure say so," Lor agreed, then a chorus of other agreements joined hers.

"Well, we'd better get some rest ourselves," with a sigh, I began moving to a spot a few paces away and curled into a comfortable position for a nap. "I have this feeling that sweet little Vicki is going to be a handful when she wakes up and sees the new her."

"If she's anything like you two were," Lillith nodded to both of us with a laugh. "That's a no-brainer that even an Imp blitzed out on mischief would refuse to bet against."

"Now wait a second here!" I barely heard Dimona's jumping to the defense of her kind as I drifted into a very nice little dream world of my own. One filled with an Angel named Tiand, and a randy, but lovable (to me) dwarf called Guiridiur, both working on parts of my anatomy that wanted worked on even after the orgy with Ed/Victoria.

 

* * * *

 

"ANGIE" the voice in my head wouldn't go away no matter how much I tried to ignore it.

"I hate being called that," I mumbled as I shifted my position and tried to return to sleep.

"ANGELIQUE. WAKE UP AND SHAKE THAT PRETTY LITTLE TAIL. NOW!"

That got my attention. "Huh? Mama? Another ten minutes? Please?"

"NOW, DEAR. OUR NEWEST ADDITION IS WAKING UP AND YOU'D BETTER BE THERE WHEN SHE DOES. GOT IT?"

"Oh! Okay, okay, I'm awake, MAMA. Really!"

"I NOW YOU'RE TIRED, LITTLE ONE," MAMA soothed and I felt strength and alertness flow back into my body and mind. "I'VE GIVEN YOU SOME EXTRA ESSENCE TO TIDE YOU OVER. I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT."

"That's encouraging," I grumped, then hastily added, "Thanks, MAMA. How close is she to waking fully?"

An enraged, disbelieving scream made that question moot. The scream descended into a string of curses and imprecations that would have done a very experienced fishwife proud.

"Never mind," I answered my own question while hurrying the few yards between where I was and where I had left Victoria. She wasn't there. "Great! Now where would I have headed if I were a berserk, newly made Demon?"

I headed for the portal we'd entered Home from at a dead run.

Sure enough, my baby was there, throwing a tantrum and trying to get the portal to open all in one frenetic series of actions that looked more like a seizure than anything normally tolerated by nature, unnature, or supernature. I stopped to watch her unsuccessful tries at getting the portal open until she began to wind down. MAMA had made sure it was closed tight so there was no real danger of the newly fashioned Victoria actually getting loose in Hell before she learned the ground rules of the place.

"I have to give her credit for one thing," a voice beside me commented. "She has staying power."

Glancing at a half amused Lorilei, I gave a shrug. "That she does. At least we know she isn't going to be a shrinking violet, don't we?"

"Think we maybe put a little too much oomph into it when we made her?" The gorgeous (all right, they're all gorgeous) succubus questioned idly as Victoria began beating at the pillars of the portal with a rock she had picked up from an ornamental garden nearby.

"I'd say there was a pretty good chance of that," was my own comment as the crimson beauty decided the rock wasn't doing any damage to the portal or convincing the recalcitrant doorway to cooperate with her and slammed her improvised tool to the ground at her hooves with another panted curse.

"Maybe we ought to stop her now?" Lor asked half heartedly.

"Nah, let her get it out of her system," I advised as the object of our attention began climbing one pillar to get at the arch joining it to the other while muttering about there having to be an on switch somewhere on the damned thing. Once up there, she promptly fell off because her wildly thrashing tail had tangled itself with her feet on its way up to -- well, you know. Our tails often seem to have a mind of their own (dirty) when we're agitated.

"Okay with me." the royal blue shaded wings of my companion spread in unison with her slim shoulders to make a truly impressive shrug. "But she's liable to hurt herself at the rate she's going."

"Kids." I sighed theatrically. "All right, I suppose we ought to put a stop to this before she actually manages to damage something or some innocent bystander."

"You first,"

"Thanks, but I really think this is going to take both of us, Lor." I answered as Victoria got back to her hooves and began looking for something else to whack the portal with. Just as she fixated on one of MAMA's prized acacia trees and began trying to break off a branch we both decided it was time to stop our little girl's antics. MAMA was and is very protective of her acacias.

Lor threw a light restraining spell while I Tk'd the crimson winged dervish away from both the tree and the portal. She landed at our hooves with a solid thump, held her head a moment, then promptly shook off Lor's spell and regained her own hooves. After that she just stood there panting and glaring at both of us from those incredible ice-blue eyes until she grated out a sibilant.

"YOU!"

"Urk!" was not the most intelligent response I might have come up with, but then I would have been able to talk just a bit better without a hand grasping my throat tightly enough to crumple a steel bar.

Lor wasn't faring any better at that moment, as our crazed daughter had managed to get her in a headlock with the arm not ocupied with me.

Events degenerated into a rolling, thumping, tangled free for all after that quiet moment. It must have been quite a sight, a few witnesses (from a safe distance) have told me it was one of the best, nastiest, most vocal catfights they'd seen since Lillith booted Eve out of Home. Yeah, that Eve. You know, the one with the apple?

Anyway, things finally calmed to the point of an armed truce. Mainly because I was sitting squarely in the small of Victoria's back and holding her legs down while biting on her tail for all I was worth to keep it from taking out one of my eyes. Lor was firmly ensconced between the scarlet Dynamo's shoulder blades, keeping those barbed crimson wings from rejoining the fight while industriously pushing our child's face into the turf to keep her from biting.

"Now, could we discuss this in a slightly more civilized manner?" Lorilei questioned through gritted teeth as she pushed a little harder on the back of Vicki's head. "Or are Angie and I going to have to get really angry and do something to hurt you?"

"Mrrmph!" came the mufffled response. I managed to trap her tail under my arm to give my aching jaw a rest. It popped when I moved it to speak.

"I didn't quite get that." Lor sweetly replied to the incoherent, and thankfully muted growls from the still struggling form we were holding down. "Are you going to be good if we let you up?"

"Mmmumph hummph!"

"I'll take that as a yes," Lor agreeably let go of Vicki's head.

"You bitches! What did you do to me?"

"Made you more compatible with your new home, for one thing," I put in Helpfully, while tactfully avoiding the subject of exactly how we'd done that. I mean it was obvious even to the still shell shocked and weakly raging Victoria.

"I'm not a girl!" she moaned.

"No, you aren't." Lor agreed. "You're a cross between a Succubus and a Hell Maid, which I guess makes you Hell's Valkyrie Mark Two. The Mark One model, also known as Angelique, is the one sitting on your backside."

"But I'm a female!" the muffled wail was full of anguish, but by that time I really had no sympathy left for our newly awakened wild child.

"Duh!" I answered a bit shortly. "By simple definition, neither a Succubus, a Hell Maid, and especially not a Valkyrie, can be male. Not even a male in good drag. It just isn't something that happens at all."

"I might point out," Lor added without flinching. "That both Angelique and I started out as Human males, just like you did, and we seem to be doing all right with the way we are."

"But dammit, I don't want to be this, this monstrosity!"

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you shot me and your wife way back when." Lor brought out the big gun in our little fracas, and it actually caused our newest member to go limp for a moment as she stared in wide eyed disbelief at first Lor, then with a lot of neck craning that had to hurt, at me.

"Mike?" she questioned in a small voice after returning her attention to Lorilei.

"Not any longer, thanks in part to you." My partner in crime answered a bit tartly. "Now I'm Lorilei, a Succubus, like You're Victoria. A Hell's Valkyrie. There isn't any changing back for any of us. Not now, not ever, so start gettting used to the idea of the new you."

"Oh," she answered weakly. "You can let me up now. I'll be good."

"Good really doesn't enter into it around here," I told her while gingerly removing my very sore self from her backside and standing with an experimental flex of wings and anything else that I could. "Just behave yourself, please?"

"I will. Promise!"

We'd gathered an audience, one that was a whole lot closer than it had been while the rough and tumble first meeting between the three of us been going strong.

Both Lor and I warily watched Vicki for any resumption of hostilites, but our little darling was far too busy examining herself to be worried over something so simple as a soul deep need to kill something. Her hands moved over her face, fluttering like frightened butterflies before moving down to cup a firm breast each. Brushing her nipples during that activity caused Victoria to draw in a quick gasped breath.

With minds of their own, (I could sympathize, my own had done that when I first awakened as I was now) her hands brushed across her smooth, flat stomach, then both generous hips, and her enticing bottom. Struggling not to do it, she then began a rather thorough examination of the altered landscape at her crotch.

We let her get through all that, including the 'still not believing it' part, then Lor whipped up a full length mirror beside the newly created Hell's Valkyrie while telling her. "You might as well have a look at the full effect, honey. It's going to be you for a long, long time to come."

Victoria took in her new self in all its glory, from flame red hair, crimson wings and tail, to her super model type figure, let out a sigh, gave the two of us a long look in comparison, then swept the gathered audience with another glance while muttering, "When in Rome..."

'Better now?" I questioned with a tentative grin.

"If you mean, am I still homicidal, no," Victoria responded a bit destractedly then went on in a half dazed voice. "But, better? I don't think I'll ever be that again."

"You are something to look at," Lorilei confirmed, deliberately misunderstanding her meaning.

"Welcome to the family, Vicki."

"Do I have a choice about that?" Vicki questioned a little acidly. "Being part of the 'family' I mean."

"Nope," Lor cheerfully answered, "Like I said, both Angie and I have been through the same thing.

It really isn't so bad most of the time."

"This must be one of those 'other' times, then." Victoria let out a sigh. "Because right now it seems pretty bad to me."

"That's ok," I replied, moving up to give her slim, strong shoulder a friendly pat. "I do know how you feel about this. I did my best to strangle Lor the first time I woke up this way. Now, I think some introductions are in order. Are you up to that?"

"Why not?" came the bemused answer. "If this is going to be home, I suppose I'd better get to know the people living here, right?"

"That's the spirit, little one!" A Hell Maid who had been a very interested observer stalked forward to give the new girl a resounding thump on the back. "I'm Brekke, and we're going to become very well acquainted over the next little while."

"Brekke..." Victoria acknowledged once she had recovered from the companionable clap on the back.

"Just think of Brekke as you very own, personal trainer," I offered while feeling more than a twinge of sympathy. "for all the physical training you're going to have to go through."

"Oh, this one is going to do fine!" Brekke enthused as she gave Victoria a long, carefully measuring examination. "Probably do as well as you did with Sylvanna, Angie."

"Good to hear," my answer actually held a small wince as I recalled my own weapons and fighting techniques training.

"I," Lorilei sauntered forward with a grin, "am going to be your teacher in the use of magic."

"Magic?" Vicki pulled her attention away from the imposing Hell Maid long enough to give the saucy little minx a dubious look. "Me?"

"You always had the potential for it, dear," Lor explained. "It was just never brought out in you. I'll be doing that while Brekke is showing you the fine arts of fighting physically."

We introduced her to MAMA, with suitable cautions about molesting the acacia's, to Lillith, then the rest of the gathered throng of Succubai, Hell Maids, Imps, Hell Hounds, and whatever else MAMA had allowed to wander in at the time. Hell, I met folks I'd never seen before.

 

* * * *

 

"Nice kid you got there," Sylvanna offered after the intros, and Lor had rather gently moved Vicki to a more private spot to begin her orientation in magic.

"Compared to what?" I shot back, still rubbing out sore spots that 'nice kid' had caused.

"An enraged Malachite?"

"You and Lor did good." my own mentor in fighting techniques and friend chuckled. "But we have another job that needs doing now, if you'll recall."

"Baal." Letting out a long, very put upon sigh that my companion completely ignored, I looked up at her grinning face expecting to see the usual rough humor there. "And what it is that one is up to."

"That's Lord Baal to the likes of us, sweetie," Syl quietly answered with a serious expression. "He was a god once, and just happens to be one of the major Princes of Hell now. Be very careful about how you use that one's name even in passing."

"All right, I see your point," with an aplogetic grin, I finished, "just chalk it up to the trauma of giving birth to a very active child recently."

No problem, little sister," the usual grin back on her face, Syl handed me a rather large file folder and some computer disks. "Read through these, then go to Lillith's offices at The Gates and use one of her computers to access the disks. There's a lot of information there, and we don't have much time to assimilate all of it. Lord Lucifer believes that Lord Baal is going to make some kind of move very soon. We have to at least have a rough idea of what our esteemed War Leader is aiming for initially."

Giving the heavy paper file folder a wry glance, then the box of disks, I shook my head, waved a hand, and produced a new model PC complete with scanner, printer, and zip drive. "I guess I'd better get started then, huh?"

"I keep forgetting you can do that kind of thing," Syl stared at the computer setup, then at me, then at the paper files being scanned already as we stood there. "Just get it done quickly, so you can brief the rest of us going on the inspection tour."

Already deep within the files and reading with a speed that I would have found both amazing and impossible as a Human her last words dawned on me several seconds after she had left. "Inspection Tour? The rest of us?"

 

* * * *

 

"Home." I informed a gathering of selected Hell Maids, some of the older or more important Succubae, Lillith, MAMA's constant presence, and no one else. This meeting was heavily shielded from either eavesdroping or scrying, and to call it tense would be like calling World War II a little messy. "Lord Baal is aiming for Us. Right here. If he can either take us out, or better in his view, subjugate us, Lord Lucifer loses enough of his power base to be forced into making a lot of concessions, or even surrendering rule of Hell."

"Can you prove that?" Lillith questioned quietly, but seething inside. Trust me, when a Prince or Princess of Hell is seething, everything around them knows it.

"Not to the satisfaction of an Infernal Tribunal," I answered slowly. "But look at it this way.

The Lillim, and to a large extent these days, the Hell maids, are based right here in Home. Now, to top that off, He is going to have a new type demon embodying the best of both in Hell's Valkyries. Let me tell you, Lord Baal is very bent out of shape over that. In the past, any attempted coup has been thwarted by one of the two groups, or a combination of both, and with the addition of that third group, Lord Lucifer's power base will be increased to an almost unassailable strength.. Lord Baal knows very well that to take over in Hell, he has to take us out of the picture, or have us on His side in the conflict."

"That makes sense," Lillith nodded thoughtfully. "But we need real, concrete proof of this before I can take it to Lord Lucifer or Infernal Affairs."

"I'd avoid Infernal Affairs if we could," I replied, handing out a few sheets with briefly outlined connections to everyone. "Lord Baal has a pipeline to them, and may even have some very highly placed Demons there in His pocket. Going to them until we can find out who is who would be sounding an alarm that we know what He's up to. Which wouldn't stop it, just make him a bit more careful about setting things up."

"So now what do we do?" Lorilei questioned in concern.

"We get ourselves ready for a fight," I answered carefully. "And hope this isn't a feint by Lord Baal to divert attention from somewhere else. We also give Lord Lucifer a discrete warning of coming trouble, then go ahead with the inspection tour He ordered."

"Along with passing him all the information you've put together here," Lillith nodded with a vicious little smile. (Trust me, you want to see something predatory, have a look at Mother Lillith when she scents a hunt worthy of Her personal attention. Whoever it was that originally said 'the female is the deadliest of the species' must have had Mother Littlith in mind when he or she came up with the saying.)

"I"LL HAVE THE ARSENAL READY" MAMA told us. "IF THAT IDIOT BAAL THINKS I'M GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN WITHOUT SOMEONE GETTING HURT, HE HAD BETTER GIVE HIS THOUGHT PROCESSES A VERY CAREFUL GOING OVER."

Lillith accepted that pronouncement without so much as a raised eyebrow at MAMA both calling

Baal an idiot and the lack of honorific voiced by the keeper of Home. "Good. I'll get this information to Lord Lucifer, the rest of you pass quiet warnings to everyone else. Then get that damned Inspection going."

"I think I can help with that," I offered, feeling verymuch out of my depth with all the powerful beings involved in this already.

"I'm listening," Lillith gave me a long, inquisitive look.

"I can pass for a Hell Maid, but..."

"You're a magic user of no little power." Mother Lillith finished with a slow smile. "Which skill includes masking and invisibility spells. True?"

"Exactly." my answer wasn't quite as enthusiastic as it could have been, but come on. I was offering to put my own precious head right in the proverbial lion's mouth, then crawl in after it. Would you have been overly enthusiastic at a prospect like that? Didn't think so. "While Syl and the rest distract Lord Baal's minions with the inspection, I can be sneaking around doing a more in depth study of His setup."

"Do that." Simple as that. I'd made a committment and Mother Lillilth was not only holding me to it, she had commanded that it be done. But she softened the steel in her voice when she finished. "Just make sure you get back in one piece, daughter. I've grown somewhat attached to you in recent times and would be most distraught if something bad was to happen to you."

"I'll be careful, Mother," I promised fervently. I may be in Hell, and one of the Damned, but let's face it here; I was alive, breathing (sort of) and really wanted to keep that state of affairs as it was.

"Do that Daughter."

Wonderful. Another order. Only that one, I was more than willing to comply with.

 

* * * *

 

I was preparing for my next adventure (or misadventure, call it what you like.) when a bedraggled, limping Victoria wearily trudged up to where I was. She was dragging a rather nasty looking double bladed hand axe along with what looked to be a very familiar argument with a so-called inanimate object.

"I see you've started your physical training." Wincing internally at the memory of what I had gone through during my own, I gave the axe an appreciative looking over. (Magic weapons, especially the ones with egos and minds of their own are very vain and just gobble up praise.) "Nice axe. What's her name?"

"Angel's Grief," Victoria returned tiredly. "And she says she's glad to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine, Angel's Grief," I replied with a small grin. "You take care of my baby, now."

"She says she will," Victoria passed on, then flopped to the ground beside me. "Arrgh! I think Brekke is hunting for bones she hasn't managed to break yet."

"Been there, done that, dear. I thought Syl was really trying to kill me while she was training me."

"Well I'm, sure Brekke is trying to do that with me." the second Hell's Valkyrie in all creation grumped. "with a wooden sword, yet. Tommorow she's going to use the real thing she tells me. I can't wait."

"You're making progress, then." I assured her.

"Right, instead of just bruising, I'll be able to bleed."

"Trust me, Vicki, that's progress."

"Huh!" Victoria groused. "I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"What should I call, you dear?" I questioned in a reasonable tone that reminded me of how Lorilei had aanswered me when I complained. "Would you prefer Victoria? That's kind of formal considering our relationship, isn't it?"

"Call me whatever you like, mama," Victoria shrugged, then winced as she obviously regretted that set of motions. "You're going to anyway."

"True enough,"

"But do you think you might be able to call me Vic for at least a while?" she pleaded. "This female thing is still hard for me to deal with. My damned tits get in the way all the time when I'm trying to do anything!"

"Victoria," I responded a bit severely. "this female thing is something that you're going to have to deal with for the rest of your existence, so calling you Vic would probably be counter productive, don't you think? And as for the your tits getting in the way, adjust your sense of balance to include them, it's easy enough to do once you think about it for a while. Then don't think about it and you'll find that it just comes naturally after a while."

"I'll try that." giving me a dubious look, Vicki thought about what I'd told her, then brightened. "Hey!

That just might work."

"It will," I promised. "I've been there, and had to do it myself. I was a Human male for centuries, sweetie, so if I managed to adjust, you should be able to do it. Also, don't forget the Succubus trick of self healing, that is a big plus."

"Self healing..." with a sigh, all the bruises on her lovely body vanished in an instant. "Now how could

I forget something like that?"

"Not to worry, Lor had to point it out to me, too."

"Hey you two!" as if summoned, the little Succubus bounced up to us. "It's time for some more practice with your spells, Vicki."

"Oh, great," Victoria grumped. "I just finish up with my daily dose of physical abuse and its time for the mental variety."

"Head on over to the training circle, dear." Lorilei ordered with a grin. "I'll be there in a minute."

"All right, mommy," Vicki sighed, getting up and heading for the enclosed, and very safe, area where neophites where trained in the use of the magics that were inherent in both Succubai and Valks.

"How's she doing with magics?"

"Good, really well, actually," Lor grinned, then chuckled. "She's mastered the healing spell, I see."

"Self defense," I snorted. "That was the first one I recalled and mastered, too."

"No, you used the self cleaning spell first, if I recall."

"Whatever," with a wave at the pile of equipment spread around me, I shrugged. "I alway did hate being dirty. But have other things on my mind just now."

"Be careful, hon," Lor gave me a serious hug. (When a full blown Succubus gives you a serious hug, believe it, you know you've been hugged. And blessed, or cursed, depending on your point of view. Me I took it as blessed.)

"I plan on that, Lor." with a grimace I began gathering up all that stuff and squeezing it into a rather smallish backpack.

"A TOW, and an Uzi?" she questioned as I packed those two items with enough ammunition to finish a decent war.

"Why take chances?" I stuffed about a gross of grenades and a pile of satchel charges into the pack while answering. "If things go bad, I want to leave as much confusion behind as I possibly can. Mainly so I can get away."

"Gehenna is a war zone, anyway," Lor commented as I shoved a heavy machine gun into the pack.

"How could anyone add confusion to that?"

"Hit the headquarters." was my simple answer.

'No wonder Syl and the other Hell Maids like you," Lor laughed. "You're a girl after their own hearts."

"Hey, if I can't slice and dice it, beat it up, or blast it with a spell, I'll be more than happy to shoot it, or blow the shit out of it with explosives. I just wish I could get a few nukes for this trip."

"You know," Lorilei replied slowly, "the idea of you being in possession of even a small tactical nuke makes my skin crawl?"

"Girl can dream, can't she?" I grinned evilly.

"I made a monster, and I'm not talking about Victoria." Lor sighed, then laughed. "You just come back in one piece, okay? I'm finally starting to get used to having you around, and would be really pissed if someone took you away from me. Got that?"

"I worry about you, too. Thanks."

 

* * * *

 

Syl met me at the Portal with about six other Hell Maids, all laden with an eclectic assortment of armaments ranging from a simple (looking) dagger that had a comfortingly evil glow all the way up to a 100mm mortar with several cases of rounds. All seven of them gave me long, gimlet looks as I easily sauntered up to where they were gathered and checking their ordance for the last time before our departure.

"What?" I questioned, checking to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything - like my clothes. "I'm not that late. I had to soothe my poor abused child before I could leave. Got a problem with that?"

"No," Syl shrugged, then gave me and my backpack a dubious look. "Where's all that other stuff you were supposed to bring?"

"In my pack," I innocently responded, then took another moment to observe all the goodies the others were struggling to load on themselves. I proceeded to unload my very own personal arsenal and spread it over the ground for all of them to check. "Did I forget anything?"

"Could'a used maybe a few more cases of grenades," the one with the mortar mentioned in something like awe as I returned the stuff to my pack and shouldered it without straining. "Uh, how exactly, do you manage that trick?"

"Dimensional folding," with a shrug, I continued my answer in technical terms and realized that my audience didn't understand word one beyond the dimensional folding part. (And that was kind of an iffy thing.) "It's a spell, that makes something a whole lot bigger inside than it is outside, and pretty well gets rid of all the weight so you can carry it around without staggering."

"Is it permmanent, once you fix the pack, or whatever?" Another one questioned with an avaricious gleam in her eyes.

"It can be, with a small adjustment to the spell and a larger expenditure of power," I responded, then realized I'd been had again. Have you ever imagined a bunch of hardened, veteran Hell Maids giving someone pleading, cow eyed looks? Let me tell you, that's more unnerving than seeing them in full fighting mode.

"All right," with a sigh, I gestured to their own packs, "bring me your pouches, packs or whatever, one at a time, and I'll see what I can do with them."

"I'm Gerta," the lady lugging the mortar supplied as she gingerly handed me her overstuffed backpack. "should I unload it first?"

"Good idea, Gerta. Otherwise the spell might lose something you want to keep."

"Oh, ok," Gerta began pulling out a rather staggering assortment of handguns, a folded up contraption made of chains and sickle shaped blades, and boxes of ammunition for each handgun. I recognized a Glock, a Colt Commander, A Taurus 9mm, and something that looked suspiciously like a hand held Phaser from Star Trek.

Once I'd completed the spell on her pack, Gerta began stuffing everything she had brought, including a very impresive looking assault rifle and the mortar into it with the wide grin of a little girl with a new Barbie case for her dolls. As she crammed the mortar in on top of everything else, I couldn't resist asking. "A mortar?"

"Better to have it and not need it..." Gerta shrugged, then grinned. "I have a howitzer, too, but couldn't figure out how to sneak that into Gehenna."

"I really don't think they'd notice," I answered, wondering what else these ladies had up thier collective sleeves, or stuffed down thier chainmail bras. "But it's always a good idea to keep something in reserve, anyway."

"Good point, little sister," Gerta gave me a companionable, if thundering, clap on the back and I didn't even stagger. Experience had taught me to brace whenever one of my larger sisters (which included every Hell Maid in existence, by the way) thought I had either come up with a good idea or had done something else they approved of. Given the bruises I still get from their approval, I'm just glad they like me.

Once the last pack had been spelled, permanently because I had decided right away the extra use of power would at least save me from doing the same thing over and over, I was ready for a short rest. Unfortunately, Syl and the rest had other ideas.

"Come on Angie!" my former teacher bellowed out cheerfully as she waved the preset wand to open the portal for our journey to Gehenna. "Time's wasting here! We have things to do, troops to inspect, Myrmidons to annoy, and Night Fiends to make fun of! Maybe we'll even find us a good friendly fight or two if we're lucky."

"Oh, boy," I grumbled while moving towards the gate. "How much fun could we have?"

"Quite a bit of it if you aren't as good at sneaking as you and Lor say you can be," Syl grinned. "That's why we brought along all the extra toys and goodies."

"Your confidence in my abilities is both inspiring and heart warming," I grumped.

"Now don't go getting all pouty, little sister," Syl soothed. "We just want to be prepared for any contingency. I'm sure you'll be able to keep yourself hidden from view long enough to find out a few tidbits of information and all that without getting yourself caught. But if you do slip up, at least we'll have the firepower to get you loose. Right?"

"Hell, Syl, you gals have enough firepower with you to equip a small country's army," with a sigh of resigned acceptance, then a wicked grin, I looked up at her, then around at the others. "But I'll do my absolute best to deprive you of all that fun. I do appreciate the idea that you're all prepared to do it to get me out of trouble, though."

"Aw, it would just give us a legit excuse to tear the gonads off some of those fancy smancy Myrmidons," Gerta laughed in response. "And to twist a few arms off those Ninja Wannabe Spider creeps Baal keeps around."

"I have the feeling that we all may be doing some of that anyway," I answered without the enthusiasm of my sisters. "Even if we get out of Gehenna without any problems, those problems are very likely to follow us home and expect to be fed, if you know what I mean."

"That's ok," The mortar toting Hell Maid shrugged. "My howitzer is on wheels and moves real easy."

A Hell Maid with a howitzer... Now there's an image for you. No wonder I couldn't get any tactical nukes. My too enthusiastic sisters would have connived a way to get hold of some, then probably blow the Hell out of Hell with them and wonder why folks got mad about it.

 

* * * *

 

I did mention the little fact that we actually had a plan that didn't involve shooting, cutting, or blowing anything up, didn't I? No? Well we really did, even if it was a bit simplistic. The others were going to strut their stuff, poke thier noses into everything visible, ask a multitude of military questions, inspect Baal's troops, and generally be as obnoxious about it as possible without igniting open hostilities. (Pretty normal behavior between rival bands of fighters in Hell, actually.) All of which was planned to keep the locals busy and scrambling to keep them from finding anything they shouldn't see.

While that was going on, I would be (hopefully) behind the scenes under cover of a whole raft of invisibility and anti detection spells, poking through Baal's headquarters. I had no real idea of what I might find, but was sure there just had to be something interesting and incriminating in there. So, without my armor (safely packed away in my trusty backpack of holding) and wearing some really uncomfortable and noxius booties to muffle my hoofsteps, all I had to do was find the information that would tell Lord Lucifer that Baal really was planning some sort of coup.

Simple. Right? Ohhh, Suuuure. By the way, the plan wasn't mine. In the short time I'd been a minion of Hell, my sweet little ass had been on the line several times, and I wasn't about to go out of my way to devise even more ways to expose it to potential harm. My mamas, either the Human one or the Demonic ones, didn't raise no damned fool. Huh uuhh!

But when Mother Lillith and Lord Lucifer tell just about anyone in Hell that they're going to do something, it generally gets done without argument. So, ok, I argued. For about fifteen seconds. Then started assembling my own arsenal of ordinance and spells for the dangerously idiotic mission they had handed me. Not without more than a few grumbled imprecations, mind you, but I knew better than to press my luck with that pair. Being dead, really dead, does have a few advantages over sulphur pit duty, you know. Not many, but they are there are a few if you look really hard.

 

* * * *

 

Gehenna is an -- interesting -- place. I wouldn't care to call it home myself, too noisy and housekeeping would be a real nightmare. Just ask the condemned souls assigned to clearing up the messes all of Baal's war games leave scattered around if you don't believe me.

The noise level would be unnerving, but the ominous periods of silence between ground shaking booms, screams, shouted war cries, cheers, clash of bladed weapons, staccato bursts of automatic weapons fire, and hiss of flying missiles are even worse. Truthfully, I much prefer Gehenna when it's noisy. At least then you have a pretty good idea of what the denizens of the place are up to.

The entrance we emerged close to was really a pretty mundane looking guardhouse with a prosaic appearing chain link fence to either side that only extended about a hundred yards in either direction, and a standard counterbalanced bar for a gate. That's where the mundane ended and the insanity inducing stuff started, though.

The fence itself was festooned with a haphazard mess of webbing that no self respecting spider would have acknowledged, much less called home. Then there were the things stuck in the stuff. Let's just say that it was apretty wide and wild variety, some of which even looked a bit humanoid.

Now that might have made up a tempting buffet table for something lacking in the most basic sense of good taste, and with an appetite that would happily eat anything that didn't eat it; for me it would have been the perfect incentive to diet had that been needed. One look and my appetite would have run with its tail between its legs and not come back for a week.

The road we marched up on was paved in blood red stones that pulsed with some form of life that screamed in agonized rage whenever one was stepped on. Evidently each of the sullen red flags represented one of Lord Baal's victories and held at least one imprisoned soul that had displeased him for one reason or another. I hung back, and off to the side purposefully, so I could activate my masking spells without garnering undue, and very unwelcome, attention.

Why didn't I do that before we left you ask? Simple enough, really though it can be a real pain in the you know what. The portals have this nasty habit of disrupting spells on anyone passing through them. Not negating them, but twisting them into something that wasn't planned for at all and usually ended up as at least a major embarrassment all the way to causing the user of the spell to dissipate into nothing. Painfully.

I know, I know, I'd spelled the packs before we left, and the portal didn't disrupt those. Inanimate objects, you see, aren't affected at all by the effect. Only living (or what passes for that down here) creatures get zapped. I could have hitched a ride inside of someone's pack, I suppose, but just imagine yourself in a place where distance means nothing at all, and dimensions fold back on themselves like a ball of yarn an energetic kitten has gotten its paws on. Oh, yes, I'd have been folded up the same way. Yuck! And thanks for the offer, but I think I'll walk if it's all the same to you.

The gate was manned(?) by several different types of creatures. There were two very imposing and dangerous looking guys in plain but immaculately gleaming armor incongruosly armed with wicked looking assault rifles and carrying sidearms that looked like something out of a bad science fiction movie. No matter how ridiculous those handguns looked, I had no doubts at all as to their effectiveness when in use. The Myrmidons (Baal's elite warriors) watched with detached interest and visible distaste as the others guarding the gate met our little party.

Now those critters were pure nightmare. One good look at them and I understood both the web and the things caught in it. Hideously Skull-like faces with burning red eyes that gave an impression of the ability to see through any kind of murk or darkness, fangs that actually dripped some knd of nasty looking(and smelling) gunk, four spindly but powerful arms, one pair of strong looking legs, and another set of limbs between the lower set of arms and the legs that seemed to have trouble making up their minds whether to be arms or legs. All topped off with unkempt white hair that trailed down their backs like some noxious weed. Night fiends, Baal's attempt to copy the Lillim. I personally thought that he'd really screwed up on that one, but as things were, refrained from commenting.

The Night Fiends were armed with ridiculously baroque weaponry, too. Like swords with overly ornate hilts and guards, etched engravings on everything that depicted things that actually made my skin crawl and my gorge try to rise up right out of my throat and run home all by itself, and their armor... Oh please! That stuff was so ornate, decorated with skulls, arcane symbology, and other almost laughable embellishments that I wondered how the creatures even managed to move without freezing up some joint when they did.

But move they did, with a fluid grace that was impressive of itself, interposing themselves between the party of Hell Maids and the road beyond the gate and assuming poses meant to be threatening and ominous.

Syl, naturally, wasn't at all impressed. She marched right up to one of the nightmares, glared back into its baleful eyes, then let out a disdainful sniff. "You're blocking the road, you poor imitation of a black widow. Would you mind moving?"

"What isss your businesss heeere?" the creature hissed, evidently not impressed by Syl any more than the Hell Maid had been with itself. "Produce authorizzationsss now, or suffer the consequences Milk Maid."

"That's Hell Maid, Ma'am to you," Syl answered with her usual bluff aplomb. "If you really want a little tussle, I can lose the authorization papers for a few minutes. Otherwise, we are here on Lord Lucifer's business, a snap inspection of Lord Baal's readiness in the event of a renewal in hostilities with Heaven, and I would strongly advise you to step aside now and let us pass."

"Paperssss," the Night Fiend demanded while holding out a clawed hand after a few moments of considering the pros and cons of just starting a fight and getting it over with. Evidently the cons won out. I had been told that Night Fiends had a great antipathy for Succubae, especially the Lillim. (There is a difference, really. Lillim actually dwell in Lillith's Home, other Succubae exist, and are generally pledged to some Demon Lord or other. Those are the ones who have repeatedly been too much trouble for Mother Lillith to put up with any longer and had been handed their walking papers.)

I noted that their antipathy seemed to include Hell Maids. Oh, well, the feelings were quite obviously returned in kind. Everyone looked at least a little disappointed when the thing decided to check out the papers authorizing the inspection instead of fighting on the spot.

Once Syl produced the papers (Hell invented red tape, by the way) in the requisite triplicate form, one of the Myrmidons sauntered forward and took them from the Night Fiend without a word. He perused them with deliberate slowness, made a great show of counting heads against the passes listed in the papers, gave the assorted backpacks a look and dismissed them as able to conceal anything too lethal, and waved the party through.

"Everything is in order," he announced with a note of disappointment in his voice as he kept one sheaf of the forms while handing the rest back to Syl. "You ladies watch where you stick your pretty little noses. We play rough and for keeps here in Gehenna. You might get yourselves hurt by accident if you aren't careful."

"Thanks for the concern," Syl answered drily. "Now if you'll tell your spider pets to move, we'll be on our way."

The Night Fiends hissed in anger, but stood aside at a commanding look from the Myrmidon. "Let them pass."

While that little tableau played itself out and ended through sheer boredom, I had been checking out the unseen defenses of the gate to Gehenna. I actually found them to be pretty good, but nothing I couldn't circumvent with a bit of effort, and skirted the fence to quietly wait on the other side for the others to enter Baal's realm.

A patrol of Night Fiends chanced across my path as I moved into Gehenna, and almost seemed to sense my presence. One of them even began snuffling near enough to where I was crouched holding my breath to make me think I'd been had before I even started. The thing was gathering itself for a pounce (or whatever it is Night Fiends do when they attack) and I readied myself for trouble.

Just as I was about to pull Heaven's Bane free of her scabbard and show these ridiculous looking things what a real fighter could do -- in my case holler for help and run for all I was worth -- it leaped past me to grab up some scorpion like creature and stuffed the little critter into its stinking maw. Chewing industriously, the thing walked right past me and resumed its patrol. Snack time in Gehenna. Phew! I made a mental note to never, ever accept a dinner invitation from anyone who lived there.

Syl and company passed through the gateway into Gehenna as I reached the verge of the road they were following and proceeded to a point only a few hundred yards inside. Stopping, they settled down into variously comfortable (?) postures and quietly began poring over maps of the Principality in preparation for their very real tour of inspection for Lord Lucifer. Not that any of that was necessary, they knew perfectly well where they were going and what route had been planned. The pause, I think, was to annoy the hovering escort of Night Fiends more than anything else.

Not that the things didn't look dangerous, they did, and do. In fact, they are -- very dangerous. Capable of shooting out webs to entrap enemies, using a great variety of weapons ( up to six at the smae time - sheesh, I'd think they'd get tangled up in all those elbows ) and rudimetary spell casting, Night Fiends were a pretty nasty package. But put a reasonably competent Lillim, Succubus, or Hell Maid up against half a dozen of them and what do you get? Spider mush, that's what. Baal had created some horrific creatures in them, but they just weren't up to the standards of Home, or The Barracks, where unattached Hell Maids lived. Which is probably one of the reasons Hell Maids delighted in tormenting the things so much. A group of Lillim would have simply lifted their lovely noses and pretended to ignore the damned things.

Anyway, as I was saying, my sisters had already planned out their route and the places they intended to visit. I knew what their itenerary was, even though they weren't too sure of mine. Which made sense when you considered the numbers. Seven of them barrelling over to where I was for help would be not only ludicrous, but totally useless. On the other hand, One of me porting to them if I got into trouble would provide reinforcements for your's truly, add my own considerable firepower to the group's, and give us all a better chance of getting out at least partially intact if real trouble did start.

My aim was to take a slightly meandering path towards Baal's own citadel, then into the place itself if that was feasable once I got there. If not, I was to hang around outside and make careful note of who and what went in or out of the place. Truthfully, I was hoping for the second option, but had this horribly certain sensation in my gut that I would be quite familiar with The Citadel's corridors before much more time had passed.

With a half forlorn wave that none of my sisters sould see, I began my own trek through beautiful Gehenna. Not! I actually floated myself a few feet off the ground (land mines, unexploded shells, and other nasty surprises down there for the unwary) and used my wings as sails to let the prevailing breezes waft me in the direction I wished to go. As for beautiful Gehenna... If you bought that one, have I got a deal for yooouuu."

 

* * * *

 

My journy through Gehenna was... Well, call it interesting. I sure wouldn't want to live there, and no one else sane aside from a junkyard dog would either. The ground was littered with refuse; I mean broken swords, spears, armor, and the occasional pile of bones were the simplest to describe. I wafted my way past disabled tanks, canon of any era you wouuld care to choose, bent magazines and clips, expended shell casings, trenches, barbed wire (some of it electirfied even after who knows how long of disuse) broken fortifications and general signs that I was passing through a war zone. Or at least a place that had seen a lot of nasty fighting in the past and hadn't recovered at all.

I even crossed over several complete, if blasted, cities. What remained of their streets was even more littered than the bleakly sere plains surrounding them. Now I ask you, what kind of idiot would go to the trouble of building a complete city, populating it, then blowing the thing apart? Answer? Just about anyone inhabiting Gehenna. I was just about to reach the vain hope that everyone in the interior of the place had managed to kill each other off when signs of life appeared. Rather abruptly.

In the third ruined city I crossed, one of the choked off streets barely contained a swarming, snarling mass of bodies locked in the throes of killing each other. None of them had weapons other than those improvised from the surrounding debris. I saw crude iron and steel clubs, thrown bricks, chunks of mortar sailing through the air (Several narrowly missed me and I hastily raised a passive shield to keep those from whanging into yours truly, which would have absloutely ruined all of my non-detect and invisibility spells.) but most seemed rather intent on biting, clawing, or just beating their opponents into whatever might pass for submission in Baal's Realm.

That wouldn't have been bad of itself. They were, after all, ignoring me completely. Something I found myself profoundly grateful for upon brief reflection. But there were airborne elements in the brawl. (Come on, no weapons, no discernable tactics, and no leadership adds up to a brawl or riot, not a battle. Right?)

A batwinged (so what's new with that? Think about the answer now. Where are we again? I rest my case.) monstrosity with a head made up mostly of long, dripping teeth and baleful yellow eyes flapped across my path with a number of smaller things that really appeared to be all teeth, wings, and claws harrying it and the very chewed up warrior harnessed to the bigger one's back. That fight was halfway interesting, mostly because it seemed to be headed right for yours truly.

Problem was, the flurry of airborne activity was kind of hard to dodge since it wove a very erratic pattern through the air. One second it was headed right for me and I prepared to dodge one direction, the next it had veered into the direction I had planned on running. As the snarling, hissing mass got closer, I was beginning to worry that I'd find myself in the center of the free for all with nothing to do but blast it so I could get on with what I'd come to do originally.

Fortunately (for me) just as I was preparing a fairly quiet spell to disable some wings that might not have revealed my presence, several of the smaller things latched onto one of the bigger one's wings and started pulling it towards the ground. Letting out a sigh of relief, I didn't bother to watch the frenzied mass crash into the general meelee below as I gave myself a little (okay a big, and in one hell of a hurry kind of big) boost from my wings to clear the area.

After that I skirted (read gave a very wide berth to) any other battles I happened to come across.

That was just as well. I saw another between two groups whanging away at each other with bladed weapons supported by archers, the mass of arrows in flight at any one time was nothing short of staggering and I wondered how any of the combatants managed to survive at all. Going through that mess would have been a really bad idea. As it was, I still had to avoid more stray arrows than I care to count even now. In another, one bunch was dug in and defending one of those very prevalent cities, while another was industriously pounding the defenses with artillery. I didn't even get close enough to hear much of that one other than hollow booms and a few shrieks.

Something about the formation of those towns nagged at the back of my mind, nothing really concrete, but the way they were each laid out tickled my sense of danger, and not because of the fighting going on in and around them. I just couldn't quite put a mental finger on what bothered me about them.

Travelling through Gehanna is a real experience, let me tell you. Not something I'd recommend to a tour group of old ladies, but educational. Speaking of travelling through Gehenna...

I did come across one interesting thing that did not involve a pitched battle to navigate past. There was a group of what I first took to be Succubae escorted by about six of Baal's Myrmidons in their plain, but very fuctional armor and weapons at ready. Thinking that Baal or some of his minions had managed to capture some free Succubae, or even some Lillim, I quietly and very carefully moved in for a closer look.

I should have known that it would have taken more than a mere six Myrmidons to contain eight Succubae of any allegiance. The lucious female figures turned out to be Hags covered in full illusion of beauty and desirability spells so thick they were almost cloying to my senses. The Myrmidons weren't so much guards as an escort and there to protect their visitors. Looking past the illusions I even recognized two of the truly ugly and hideous Hags. I didn't know their names, but they had been among the group who had confronted Syl and me at The Gates over possession of the then Ed Hemmings.

Interesting. Now why, I asked myself, would a group of Hags be getting the special guest treatment in Gehenna, even to rating an escort of Baal's favorites in their progress through the principality? I hadn't heard of any buddy, buddy relationship between Baal and Mab, and I was sure that information would have been passed on to me and the others on this errand that now seemed much less something for pure fools as I continued watching the group moving along one of the few good (all right, no road in Gehenna is good, call it decent with only a few potholes and pieces of abandoned machinery to avoid.) roads in Gehenna.

Getting close enough to eavesdrop was pretty much out of the question, and using a spell to hear what was going on among that group was a definite no-no at the time. Hags are magic users of no little skill, and scrying or probing of them with magic would have alerted them to my presence. I filed the information in my brain under the very interesting and possibly dangerous information category with a flag for anyone who had the correct keys to open it up in case something should happen to me on this mission. A possibility that had become more likely as I considered the ramifications of what I had been seeing.

I swooped on ahead of the group to see what, if any destination they had in mind and found the key to the puzzle that had been nagging me about those ruined towns I'd been seeing. This was a pristine (or as close as anyone in Gehenna could make it) town layout that looked more like a huge park than anything else even with the buildings and streets. Great Lucifer! Now I understood what had been nagging me so persistently between my observations and dodging the combatants I had encountered.

The layout I was looking at was a pretty good representation of Home. Not perfect, but close enough to give anyone who hadn't been there at least a fair idea of where things were. I knew better than to get much closer, because I could feel some pretty powerful magical defenses in place to defend the ersatz Home, and it was populated by creatures shaped into fairly accurate copies of Lillim and Hell Maids.

Damn! I was looking at a set for a battle, one that was just for practice but extremely suspicious when one thought for even a moment about what that practice was meant to do. Train Baal's fighters to navigate through Home with the least amount of confusion possible. As I thought about it, other things I had witnessed clicked into place with a force that nearly staggered my flight to the stage of interrupting it entirely. The first town I had passed was a fair, if ruined representation of The Barracks. (Pay attention here, that is where unattached or off duty Hell Maids lived.) I wasn't sure, but the second, the one under artillery siege, could have been a copy of Lucifer's own complex.

Now these could have just been exercises set up to train Baal's warriors against some of the more formidable opposition they could run up against barring actual Angelic Hosts. But the evidence had been so mangled up, even destroyed in the cases of the copied Barracks and Lucifer's complex that proof would be nearly impossible to obtain.

Interestingly enough, as I watched, the figures in the copy of home morphed back to their supposedly original forms and began dismantling the place in a frenzy that was near panic. And not because of my presence, they hadn't noted that, thank whatever gods were looking after me just then, but to get rid of intact evidence in the event that the snap inspection my sisters were performing should happen to come that way. Why else would the inhabitants of Gehenna actually take the trouble to dismantle something by hand (so to speak) when they so delighted in blowing the shit out of them?

Things were definitely becoming more and more ominous as I went. My dilemma at that stage was whether to take off with the information I already had (tenuous as that may be in a Hellish Court) or go on and gather more of the intelligence I had been sent to find.

I reached a compromise of sorts with myself after some worrying over the need for Mother Lillith, Lord Lucifer, and everyone else to be at least warned of my suspicions and the conclusions those had made me reach. I fired off a rather abrubt stream of information aimed for Lorilei with all the stuff I had so far obtained. Then hightailed it out of that particualar part of Gehenna.

A response came to my hurried message to Lorilei. Mind to mind communication among demonkind, and probably Angels, from all that I've heard, is more like an old style telegram sent over a short-burst encrypted comunications stream than anytthing else that comes to mind. Short, succinct, and very hard to either trace or listen in on.

The reply tickled at the fringes of my mind to warn me, then pushed through as I opened the necessary channel to receive it. Message received. Information appreciated and being acted upon. Continue present activities as originally planned. Thanks from M.L. and L.L. Mama pissed, but says to be careful and Victoria is doing fine.

Well, that pretty well took care of one problem. Home, and everyone else had been given advance notice of impending trouble. M.L. obviously stood for Mother Lillith while L.L. was... (Come on, if you haven't been able to figure that one out, you haven't been paying attention here.)

Lord Lucifer. The addition of that bit of personal information simply verified that the message was bonafide, in addition to the very distinct mental flavor of Lorilei's twisty little mind. I really don't think anyone could counterfit her convoluted methods of thinking and acting upon those thoughts.

But the added part about Victoria made me feel better in more than one way.

So, I abandoned my leisurely examination of the landscape and arrowed straight towards The Citidel itself. Truthfully, I'd already had more than enough fun and wasn't at all looking forward to having any more. But, commands from Lillith and Lucifer are ignored at the ignorer's peril. (Been through that already, haven't we?)

 

(continued)

 

 

 

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© 2002 by Maggie Finson. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.