Healing Cousin George

by Karin Roberts

The Birthday Party

   

Debbie got her wish and come Wednesday we were off for our regular shopping trip. This one however turned out to be that little bit different. I know now why she did it but at the time I was a bit surprised. We arrived in Glasgow unloading Melissa as usual into her buggy but as we approached the shopping galleries Debbie sprung her surprise.

"Ok Alex off you go" she said gently removing my hands from the handles of Melissa's buggy she eased herself between me and the buggy.

"What do you mean off you go" I asked.

"Just that off you go, me and Melissa are going for a nice walk down by the river and ice cream and a coffee, you on the other hand are going shopping for an outfit for Saturday."

I looked at her mouth open.

"But…but I can't go myself, I need you with me" I stuttered.

"Why"

"Eh because" I said.

"No you don't need me with you, now off you go" she said as she started to wheel Melissa away.

"Debbie, Debbie come back" I called.

"See you by the Riverside Café in a couple of hours" she called back as she disappeared into the crowded city streets.

I stood for a minute unsure of what to do, I'd never really been on my own as "Woman Alex" what was I supposed to do, standing here in the centre of a busy street was not going to help though, I stood out like a sore thumb. I opened my bag and took out my cigarettes lighting one I inhaled letting the smoke ride to my brain to calm my nerves. "Well I'm here to shop, I guess I better get on with it" I said to myself as I started to walk towards the main shopping mall.

Two hours later I walked along the riverside quay heading towards the café that Debbie had mentioned. Five carrier bags hanging from my hands the light breeze swishing my skirt the heels of my shoes clicking on the tiled walkway. I spotted Debbie and Melissa sitting at a table and waved ahead.

"What was all that about" I asked as I reached them and sat down.

"What" Debbie asked?

"Sending me off on my own like that"

"I'll get us a coffee and a bun, I'll be back in a minute then we can talk" Debbie said as she rose from the table.

I checked on Melissa who was asleep in her buggy no doubt tired out from Devvie's attention as she often mumbled these days, me I was Awex in her limited but starting to grow vocabulary.

I sat back down and lit a cigarette crossing my legs and awaiting the return of Debbie.

I stirred my coffee as Debbie lit a cigarette and began to talk,

"Alex ever since you been your fem self" she said in a hushed tone she went on,

"You've never really been on your own as Alex, either George or Pete or me have been around acting as a sort of crutch to help you along. Given that the party is on Saturday I just thought that sending you out on your own like that would be good for your confidence."

I sipped my coffee and thought about what she was saying; she was right in some ways. Today I had strolled along bust city streets on my own as Alex comfortable with my female look and attire, walking comfortably in heels, interacting with shop assistants and a couple of fellow shoppers just as if it was an everyday thing. Oblivious to the truth, that I was soon to be 23 year old guy. My movements and mannerisms had been those of a genetic female the same age my eye for fashion had been just the same, while my voice might have had slightly more harsh edges to it, it was not enough to betray my identity, in effect I passed without thought and blended in like everyone else.

I exhaled a cloud of smoke and crushed the cigarette out in the ashtray.

"You right I suppose Debbie, on Saturday I need to convince people that I'm Amanda 100% so I need all the confidence I can muster"

She smiled "You'll be fine" she said squeezing my hand as she crushed out her own cigarette.

"Now more importantly what did you buy" she asked with a smirk on her face.

While I showed Debbie my purchases which somewhat bizarrely included a shirt and tie set for George, I though some more about what Debbie had said and indeed how I felt. The longer this went on the more divorced I seemed to be becoming from the male Alex. My thought's were those typical of a mother, Melissa's welfare, fashion, house décor all the typical traits of a female, my interaction with Debbie was, with the exception of that one night typically that of a relationship between two women interacting in a female manner in truth I didn't really know where the old Alex was anymore.

The rest of the week passed like lightning, bright and early Saturday morning I rose and got Melissa something to eat. I dressed her for the day ahead, packed some extra clothes for her to change into should she need to or if she got messy. I put on some breakfast for George and then once he was awake and up went to grab a shower my self. I packed a bag of some toiletries for myself, make up, perfume etc etc. I redressed in a pair of jeans and a white blouse to travel in planning to change at Mum's on arrival I packed away my dress in a clothes hanger and picked up the shoes I had bought to match as well. I packed away a skirt and a top and another pair of shoes in case of any emergency and then went downstairs.

Downstairs George was tidying up the kitchen while Melissa ran around making a nuisance of herself.

"Come her babes" I called.

"Awex" she cried running across the room.

I picked her up, "Now were going on a trip today, to a party" I said ticking her side, she giggled,

"And I want you to be good for me and Daddy, can you do that" I asked.

She nodded her head and I let her down,

"You about ready" I asked George.

"Yeah just about, remember we need to be careful today" he said.

"Yeah I know it's me that's got more to lose. You got the story straight Alex in bed with a bad bout of food poisoning, Debbie calling in on him to see how he is from time to time." I asked.

"Yeah I'm cool with it it's not that difficult is it, look lets get going."

I rounded up Melissa, while George collected the three bags and we stepped out into the bright sunlight. It was going to be a hot day I thought as the sun caught my skin. The car started and we moved of, as we paused at the top of the drive and then pulled out into the main road, I thought once more "Yep it's gonna be hot and if I don't get this right it could be even hotter."

*********

Just over fifty minutes later George was pulling the car to a halt outside my parent's house, predictably I could see Mum at the window, anxious probably to meet us before Dad did and maybe give us some warning or piece off her mind over what we were about to do. She walked down the driveway as George unloaded the bags. I let Melissa go and she ran to meet her hugging her legs. "Hello Darling" she said as she took Melissa's hand and continued towards us.

"George , Alex" she said greeting us.

"Mum its Amanda remember" I said in an irritated tone.

"Bloody stupid idea if you ask me" she said.

"Look mum we talked about this on the phone I want to be at Dad's birthday and without ruining all that is going on back at the farm, I couldn't just change back for the day"

She sighed.

"Where's the Birthday Boy" George asked trying to cool the situation a bit.

"Oh Uncle Frank took him down to the local for a pint he'll be back in an hour were setting up out back" she replied.

"I need to get changed for the party and I'm sure George would like to freshen up" I interrupted.

"God it's really got to you hasn't it" she said "But ok change upstairs in my room and George you can use Alex's old room at beside the toilet, I'll take Melissa out back for a little while." she said as she turned an left us.

I looked at George and just raised my eyebrows a little and shrugged my shoulders before we followed her up the path.

Upstairs I laid out the new outfit I had bought during the week it consisted of a very pale blue silk dress, straight cut about calf length. The top had two spaghetti straps, it was slightly low cut at the front but had a rose made from the same material just at the centre of the chest. I had matching 4 inch pale blue sandals with silk ribbons which you criss-crossed up your legs and calves before tying it in a bow at the top. That was another thing that had changed about me the eye for fashion the need to mix and match colours. I suppose it was not new to me totally as after all I'd watched my Mum and Sister do it for years. I reapplied my make up and then picked up the small white leather shoulder bag. Dropping my ciggies, lighter, lipstick and some face powder in the bag, I checked myself in the mirror I looked good I thought so now was the test, I opened the door and closed it behind me, walking to the stairs I was on my way to meet my fate.

The numbers were beginning to swell and I noticed a couple of Dad's friends as I stepped off the last step. They turned and looked at me, I knew both reasonable well they smiled as they would at someone they did not know and I walked past returning their smile. Two down only another hundred to go I thought as I stepped out onto the patio. I spotted George wearing the shirt and tie I had bought earlier that week, I made my way over.

"Shirt for ok" I asked as I reached him.

"Yeah its fine, any problems so far"

"No nothing, I've only seen a couple of people I know. Remember what ever happens tonight we just have to roll with it for Melissa's sake" I said.

"Yeah I know but let's hope it does not get too complicated. Drink?" he asked.

"Yeah fine white wine and soda." I said as he left me.

Gradually guest more guests began to arrive, my grandmother, a couple of aunts, cousins, friends and neighbours. Eventually Dad arrived with Uncle Frank both looking as if they had already sank a few too many, sober enough however for the party to get into full swing. We mixed and mingled with the other guests introducing ourselves as George and Amanda everything as normal each one accepting us for what we were.

As the music kicked in and the dancing began I excused myself from George for a minute and went to find a quiet spot to have a cigarette. I slipped round the side of the house onto the paved path and took out my cigarettes lighting one up I blew a cloud of smoke into the air. I'd only been there a couple of minutes when a voice said,

"Can I bum one of those" I turned.

"Ashley" I said

"Hello Bruv or should I say Sis what the hell have you got yourself into"

I handed Ash the pack and the lighter.

"Long story, but necessary" I answered.

She lit up, "Well you certainly look the part, but where is this going?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well it needs to end sometime and there will be tears somewhere" she said taking a long drag from the cigarette she blew a stream of smoke to the floor.

"Maybe, do you think anyone has noticed anything?" I asked.

"No, in fact couple of people I've been taking too has said how pleased they are for George and how lucky he is to have found a good looking partner."

"Good, I just had to be here you know and changing back to Alex for today would have been a nightmare just to change back again tomorrow."

"Well as long as you don't get hurt in all this, then I'm cool with it, now let's get back to the party, Dad's about to make a speech."

The night wore on darkness fell and the garden was illuminated by hundreds of little spotlights hung from all available points so that sufficient light was available. Once more I snuck of for a cigarette this time when I was finished I skipped back inside to check on Melissa, I was glad to be away from the biz have a few minutes on my own, for a start the wine was beginning to take an effect on me and I needed a few minutes to compose myself.

I walked into the room where the kids had been corralled for the night with snacks and DVD's to keep them entertained. Inside were several relative's children being watched over by one of the neighbour's teenage daughters. Grandmother was also there fussing around with one of my nephews. I knew her well and introduced myself as Amanda we shook hands she asked if I could stay for a minute while she nipped out for a drink.

"Yeah no problem" I said as she stepped through the door.

My voice must have triggered Melissa and her head snapped round "Awex" she said rushing out off the couch and towards me her arms encircling my legs. As I looked up I could see Grandma looking at me with suspicion, what is it they say about out of the mouths of children. I froze.

************

Grandma looked sternly at me and walked across the room, she sort of paused squinting slightly at my elegantly made up face as I stroked Melissa's head.

"There's something not quite right here, your Mum's been on edge all night"

I stayed silent.

"Well my dear what is it your supposed to be Amanda are you not"

I sighed looking down at Melissa, trying to think about how I was going to get out of this one. My mind was a blank, I guess then honesty will need to be the best policy.

"Look Grandma, I can explain"

"I hope so" she replied.

"Let's sit down for a minute" I said as I took Melissa's hand and led her towards the settee.

Thirty minutes later I had told my story.

"….. so you see it was for Melissa's sake, I made a silly mistake and I've had to live this lie since. George is not to blame me and Debbie badgered him into me coming as Amanda tonight. I just wanted to be here for Dad in some way."

"And your Mum knows about this" I nodded.

"And Ashley" I said "But Dad has no idea, please don't tell him" I pleaded.

"Well I don't really approve but I've no wish to spoil his day, but this has to stop" she said her finger wagging at me.

"It will Grandma as soon as George is on his feet and thinking a bit clearer about Melissa" I answered.

"You really think this woman is so bad for the child" she asked.

"Yeah I do she's no motherly instinct she only wants George for the money" I said.

"Well ok, should I have a word with him" she asked.

"No don't do that he will go mad if he knows that anyone else knows about this" I said gesturing with my hands down at my dress.

"Ok, but remember it has to stop"

The door opened and finally the babysitter stepped back inside "Sorry, my Mum kept me back" she said looking a bit sheepish as she returned to her duties.

"That's ok, It gave me a chance to meet Melissa's Gran" I said a slight smile on my lips. I could see her looking sternly at me as I rose.

"See you soon Melissa" I said as I walked to the door.

As I walked outside I sighed a huge sigh of relief, I needed a cigarette I slipped out passing a few guests in the kitchen smiling briefly and walked round the corner of the house. Opening my bag I took out my cigarettes and lit up. The smoke immediately hitting my brain, calming my nerves a bit. That was close lets hope she keeps to her word I thought to myself, somehow I felt she would but I also knew that Mum would probably feel the sharp edge of her tongue at some point.

A few minutes later I stubbed out the cigarette with my shoe and walked back towards the party. I had been gone for nearly an hour so I was keen to find George and see what was happening with him. I spotted him close to the small marquee talking to Ashley.

"Here's the love of your life" Ashley teased as I drew close. I flashed her a smile.

"Where have you been" George asked.

"Eh I went to check on Melissa got talking to the babysitter" I lied.

I looked at his glass "What's that your drinking" I asked.

"Just a whiskey" he replied.

"Just a whiskey, you idiot how many of them have you had"

"Your dad kept giving me them, oh maybe three or four," he replied.

"Yeah and you had two can's of beer as well before I went away, you can't drive like that" I said anger in my voice.

"Sure I can"

"No way am I letting you drive Melissa home when you've been drinking" I said.

"Well we can't stay here" he said.

"We'll just have to you idiot." I stormed off to find Mum.

Mom was busy seeing some guests out I waited a minute and then drew her attention.

"What is it" she asked.

"George has been drinking he wants to drive, but I don't think he should it's too much of a risk with Melissa and all that, Dad's been feeding him drink" I said at a frantic pace.

"You can't stay here; Ashley and Auntie Marge and Uncle Frank are using our spare room's."

"Well we can't go home either" I repeated.

"Ok leave it with me, I'll come and find you" she left and I headed back to the party. There were only a smattering of guests left as I walked across the grass, I opened my bag and took out my cigarettes lighting one as I walked on. George I could see was deep in conversation with Dad. To be honest I'd sort of avoided Dad all night but know I was walking straight towards him.

"Ah here's you lubley wife to be" Dad said through a slurred drunk voice, it was obvious he had taken a skinful tonight and was well and truly drunk. I stepped next to George.

"So wfen is the big day" he asked.

"Oh not for a while yet" George said.

"Good to see you putting your life back together" he managed to say,

"Why don't you give the lady a kiss, don't be shy" he said.

George looked at me bent a little and kissed my forehead.

"Naw lad ah mean a real kiss" he persisted.

George looked down I slightly nodded and our heads moved together our lips met my mouth opening slightly. We paused for a minute and then when we thought that Dad would be happy we parted.

"That's a bit better now go and take the lady up for a dance" he said.

George looked at me I nodded again he lightly placed his hand on my waist, I dropped my cigarette and followed him on to the small dance floor.

"I can't dance" I said.

"Look just put you arms around my neck and we will just shuffle around" he said.

I put both arms around his neck moved closer and we started to move together.

"What did you Mum say" he asked.

"She's trying to sort out somewhere for us to stay, how could you be so daft" I said.

"I'm sorry" he said.

"It's ok we've got past the worst of the night, and we have pulled it of" I said.

"Yeah we have" I replied, out of the corner of my eye I could see Mum exit the house and move towards us.

"Here's Mum coming" I said, we stopped dancing.

**************

"George, Amanda, Aunt Karen has got a spare room you can stay there tonight" she said "But you will need to share" her eyebrows arched a bit.

Dad pipped in "That won't be a problem after all there goving to be man and wif" he said in his drunken state.

George looked at me and then said "Thanks, do we need to get a taxi there" he asked.

"If you hurry they are just getting ready to leave now, Melissa is fast asleep you can pick her up from the lounge."

"Ok, George can you get the little bag I packed form the car and I'll go and get Melissa"

"Ok darling" he said playing his part. I walked of a little smile on my lips at his comment.

I picked up Melissa and found Aunt Karen by the door her cost on ready to leave.

"Sorry about this" I mumbled.

"It's ok could happen to anyone, where's George" she asked.

"Eh just picking up a small bag of clothes I packed for an emergency."

"Good thinking, it pays to be well prepared" she said.

George appeared carrying the holdall just as a taxi pulled up outside. Aunt Karen was a widow whose husband had died in an accident at work a few years back, both her son was studying at University so I figured that we would get his room. We climbed into the taxi and drove off to make the short journey to her house. Five minutes later we turned into her street and we stepped out, George insisted on paying the taxi driver.

"It's the least we can do as your offering us a room for the night" he said as we walked up the path.

Inside Aunt Karen made us some coffee. George sat with Melissa in the kitchen while we took our cup upstairs.

"You can stay in my room tonight" she said.

"No we couldn't put you out like that" I argued.

"Nonsense anyway the bed in Shane's room is too small."

She showed me the room and where the bathroom was.

"So when are you two getting hitched" she asked.

"Oh I don't know, we've not set a date yet."

"George is quite a catch you know" she said.

"Yeah he is isn't he" I said.

"Can you ask him to come up there's a camp bed in the attic we can make it up for Melissa, if he helps me down with it" she said.

"Ok I'll go and get him" I left her and went back to the kitchen.

Half an hour later the camp bed was up and we Melissa, George and me were in the room, Aunt Karen had headed of to bed.

"Do you want me to sleep on the camp bed" I asked quietly. "Melissa could bunk in with you."

"What if Karen comes in, in the morning and were in separate beds" George said.

"Eh I guess your right" I put the dozing Melissa down on the covers and covered her over.

"Goodnight darling" I said kissing her forehead, George did the same.

We both crossed to the bed George began to undress, his shoes and socks followed by his trousers, I tried not to look and turned slipping my dress off, I unfastened the stocking's and suspender belt that I was wearing and draped them over the chair. Standing in a light blue thong and matching bra I slipped under the covers and pulled them up over me. A minute or so later I felt the bed sag and George slipped in beside me. "Goodnight" he said.

"Yeah goodnight, see you in the morning" I replied as he switched of the bedside light.

The room went dark; my heart was beating at a tremendous rate of knots'. Here I was in bed with George in a strange house, wouldn't Amanda go spare if she could see this now and she would go even more spare if she knew the truth. I lay awake the minutes ticked past, fifteen, twenty maybe I could here a slight snore from George,

"You awake" I asked silence, I snuggled down a bit further, the minutes ticked by, he turned an arm dropped over my middle back his hand dangling just above my chest, I froze at first, I moved back a bit his hand dropping further over my front. I edged back a bit more by bum coming into contact with his groin area. A slight stir then it grew he had an erection you know the kind guy's get in their sleep. "George you awake" I asked again, another snore. I edged back a bit more the erection now firmly against me I snuggled in and shut my eyes.

  

  

  

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