Healing Cousin George

by Karin Roberts

 

The Date

Later that night with Melissa safely tucked up in bed me and George sat with Coke each in the conservatory. My plan to curb his midweek drinking had been a great success there were no more night's out during the week only a civilised glass of wine after dinner. I picked up my cigarettes and slipped one out of the packet, the slim gold lighter was inside the packet as well I pressed the button and a slim narrow flame appeared, I lit up blowing a cloud of smoke towards the ceiling.

"We had a visitor today" I announced

"Yeah I know Pete was here again I'll have a word with him" he responded before I had a chance to go on,

"No, Pete was here but that's not who I meant."

"Who then" he asked draining the last of his wine.

"My Mum" I said, a look of shock appeared on his face.

"I was washing up after Debbie left, I turned and she was standing in the doorway," there was a short silence,

"Oh fuck, that's all we need" he said,

"No it's ok, I told her all about Amanda and my stupid mistake, she's not happy about it but at least she understands why I'm doing it,"

"Do you think she will say anything" he asked,

"Well not to my dad anyway he's so homophobic, I think we can trust her to keep it a secret"

"Well let's hope so the less people that know about this the better,"

"Why you embarrassed by me" I teased,

"No it's not that but we can't afford to let some people know it would be taking too much of a risk" I leaned over and poured the last small amount of wine into my glass

"I'm going to bed, it was a tough day" George announced

"Yeah for me too, I'll be just behind you" I said taking a final draw from my cigarette and crushing it out.

"See you tomorrow" I said as he left the room. One down one to go I thought the day's other event would need to wait and at least Pete had not let the cat out of the bag by telling George about my date. I picked up both glasses and walked over to the sink rinsing them out I switched out the lights and headed upstairs. I checked in on Melissa watching her sleep for a few minutes before deciding that it was time for me to join her in the land of sweet dreams.

On the Saturday me and Debbie hit the shops once more with Melissa in tow we wandered around mostly window shopping as usual I spent most of the time checking out outfits for Melissa buying two or three items before we stopped for lunch. Over lunch Debbie came up with an idea for an outfit for Friday,

"So what is it then" I asked,

"No just wait I know just the place to go it will be perfect for Friday" Our lunch finished we headed straight to the Italian Centre of Glasgow I knew it well as I had often shopped there as Alex, well you know what I mean.

"I think I might have an idea where your going with this" I said as we approached a quality leather goods shop,

"Well Pete has a motorbike so you might as well do the biker chick look" Debbie flashed a wicked smile as we entered the shop.

Half an hour later complete with my purchase we were heading back to the car.

"Hey I've an idea how about we stop at a Salon get our nails done etc,"

"You can do all that yourself, why bother" I asked

"Indulge me" she said as her eye's scanned the street, "Look over there a Sytle-setter's let's go"

Debbie was off crossing the paved precinct me pushing Melissa behind her as we headed for the Salon. By the time I got inside Debbie was already talking to one of the assistants.

"Great to see you, what a coincidence I never knew you worked here, this is Alex a friend" she said gesturing to me before going on,

"Alex this is Gillian we trained together at college, I've not seen her in years" she said before hugging her

"Pleased to meet you" I said extending my hand to her once she had freed herself from Debbie.

"What can I do for you ladies today" she asked, Debbie butted in

"Just a facial scrub for me and nail extensions, eyebrow wax and nail extensions for Alex," "What type of extensions do you want French tips, sculptured," "Eh square tipped long for both of us" Debbie said,

"Ok then let's get you two ladies seated." An hour later we were both exiting the Salon

"So how was that for you" she asked "I could kill you" I said in a hushed tone,

"Why,"

"I never felt so much pain in my life when she waxed my eyebrows I nearly leapt out my seat, and how I'll ever be able to pick something up with these talons is beyond me," I gestured to the inch and a half long nails that protruded from the tip of my fingers Debbie began to laugh as we headed down the street,

"Let's go home it's getting late."

As we drove home Debbie spoke,

"Alex can I ask you something,"

"Sure what is it" I replied

"How long do you see yourself staying as Alex,"

"Well I think I'll be Alex for ever" I said with a laugh

"Quit the sarcasm, you know what I mean" she said

"Well it's early June my job starts the last week in July so I suppose I've got about six weeks left" I said

"What about George though, what if he's not right" she asked

"He's getting better every day spending more time with Melissa and the booze except for the weekends is largely a thing of the past."

"Yeah but what if that's all down to you, what if he goes back to his old ways when you leave. And what about Amanda you know she's no good for him and how she feels about Melissa, could you have that on your conscience" she asked,

I paused and thought about what she had said for a minute "I don't know he's a grown up, he has to make his own choices. I love Melissa to bits, but I've got my life too, why do you ask"

"Oh I think I'd miss you" she said before adding "You could have a life here you know" she said looking over at me, silence descended for the remainder of the journey.

Dinner was ready as I heard George drive up and the engine stop, the door opened and he stepped inside,

"What the fuck do you think your doing," opps the cat was out the bag I thought,

"Do you not think we have enough problems without you going on dates with my farm hand,"

"Eh sit down I can explain" I said

"I don't want to sit down and how your going to explain this one is beyond me." I sat down

"It's like this I kinda got the idea that Amanda was jealous of me being here alone with you I thought if you had a night at home alone with her, just you and Melissa it would be good for you" I knew deep inside that Amanda would probably hate the idea of playing mummy to Melissa but I was not about to admit it.

"So how does you date help"

"Well if I'm out with Pete she will think that I've got myself a man and won't be after you" I stopped

"She doesn't think that, anyway what makes you an expert on women's minds" George asked

"Well I suppose dressing like one for the last 3 or 4 weeks has helped, anyway it's not as if anything is going to come of the date I'll let Pete down gently. Debbie was really the instigator of it she set me up a bit took me a bit by surprise I had said yes before I had really though about it, I promise one night that's all" there was silence,

"I still think this is a bad idea but ok one night and be careful" George said getting up he went to see Melissa, I sighed and rose to serve the dinner.

The rest of the week went quickly on Friday Debbie had arrived and loaned me the last piece of my outfit for the night. George and Amanda were due having a carry out meal delivered so after I had made a snack for Melissa I took her upstairs and began to get ready. After a hot bubble bath filled with scents I set about dressing by about ten to seven I was ready, I worried about myself I had spent so much time on my make up it was like I was going on a real date and I was a fully fledged female.

I told myself that it was because I wanted to be ultra convincing and not that I wanted to make myself sexy and attractive for my man, but that I was somehow doing it for Melissa and George and not for Pete. Anyway when I looked in the mirror before I went downstairs I realised I had failed miserably because I looked as sexy as hell. The tight leather trousers with the white cotton top that gave away the hint of a nipple the leather bomber jacket that Debbie had loaned me with a yellow chiffon scarf tied loosely round my neck, four inch heeled leather shiny ankle boots peeked out from below my trousers. With earring's and a couple of bracelets I looked hot. Just maybe I was about to give out the wrong signal.

I sprayed on some perfume and left my room the heels of my boots clicking on the wooden stairs as I went down to the kitchen. I could here George on the telephone ordering their meal, I went through into the conservatory and lit a cigarette nerves beginning to play a part I took of my jacket and sat down, I leafed through the daily paper my nerves building as each minute ticked by on the clock. A rap at the door I leapt up "I'll get it" I called rushing through into the kitchen to open the door. On the doorstep I found a guy delivering George and Amanda's meal,

"George it's your meal" I called as I walked away conscious of the young guy eyeing me up as I left the door, I returned to the conservatory.

Another five minutes another knock at the door this time no blind panic, what was it with me and the excitement of tonight or maybe it was fear.

"Alex it's Pete for you" I picked up my jacket and walked out. The door was closed as I reached the kitchen,

"You not going out like that are you" George asked "Why not"

"Well don't you think it's a bit…," "A bit what" I asked again" I could see him clearly looking at the tightness of the leather trousers and the nipples which were apparent through the tee-shirt. I slipped on the jacket,

"Well we are going on a bike, trousers are much more suitable than a skirt don't you think" I asked

"Eh I suppose so and remember one night, it's only one night and be careful" "Ok" I said as I stepped outside the sound of my high heels echoing in the still farm air as I walked down the stone steps.

"You look great" Pete said as I approached "Thanks, where we going " I asked

"Thought we might catch a film and then grab a drink" he replied "Fine by me" he handed me a crash helmet and I pulled it over my head climbing on the back he fired up the bike, I slipped my arms around his waist and off we went into the night.

The journey to the cinema felt a bit surreal here was me on the back of a motorbike my arms encircling the waist of a guy, I mean come on a few weeks ago who would have thought I would be doing this and strangely enough somehow liking the experience as we rode through the heavily lit streets and pulled into the large Multiplex car park. We climbed off Pete took the helmets locked up the bike and then surprisingly (well maybe not) took my hand again I was a willing participant,

"Did I tell you, you look great" he said "You did, you look smart as well" I said as we approached the entrance to the cinema.

"Your choice of film then" I looked up at the board displaying what was on show "Eh how about, The Woman's Club" I asked pointing at the board "Might have guessed, some chick flick" he teased "It's not" I said playfully punching his arm "But if you don't want to" I asked "No it's ok" he said letting go of my hand as he fished some money out of his pocket and paid for two tickets. Armed with our tickets we entered the darkened cinema.

The film was pretty mediocre although surprisingly I liked bits of it. A few weeks ago I would probably have never given it the time of day but the new Alex was learning to appreciate different thing's. About fifteen minutes in Pete's arm found it's way round the back of my seat and then around my shoulders. I didn't adopt the usual tactic of snuggling into his side but just sat there, initially I found it strange but the longer it was there the more comfortable I was with it. Eventually the film finished and we got up Pete taking my hand as we walked up the corridor and out into the night once more.

"There's a bar up there" he said pointing beyond a large Supermarket "We can grab a drink in there" he said "Yeah great" I said as we walked on.

As we reached the door I stopped "Is it ok if I have a cigarette before we go in" "Yeah fine" he replied I reached into my pocket and took them out lighting one up,

"You enjoy the film" "Wasn't bad, I like Julia Roberts, but it's not one of her best" I said.

"You know you've caused quite a bit of a stir" he said. I blew a cloud of smoke towards my feet and then looked up "Why" I asked,

"Well a couple days after your brother went home, Amanda turned up one day while we were working her and George had a furious row"

"About what" I asked taking another drag from the cigarette

"About you of course I think she's jealous of you living with George and who wouldn't be I mean an attractive young woman like you against a fading old hag like her" I laughed

"I take it you don't like her then" I asked dropping the cigarette and crushing it out with my foot "No not at all" he replied "I let you into a secret, neither do I, now let's get that drink" I said offering him my hand as we walked inside.

The bar was busy with young people out for a night out, either just a quiet drink or the start of a night of clubbing. We found a booth already occupied by a couple of girls and with their permission took the two vacant seats. The chatter began to flow between all four of us, they were off to a local nightclub, both high in excitement about the night ahead. Two or three drinks later we made our excuses and got up to leave hand in hand we walked out of the bar and back to Pete's bike. Helmet's on we rode of into the night heading back for home. As the light began to fade Pete pulled of the dual carriageway into a lay-by high above the countryside,

"Sorry Alex need to take a leak" he said as he got down I took of my helmet and lit a cigarette waiting on him coming back from the toilet. I looked across the expansive of fields and trees the night light and red sky painting a lovely country canvas.

The gravel crunched as Pete approached, "It's ok, finish your cigarette" he said as he stopped beside me,

"It's been a good night, I've enjoyed myself" I said,

"But not enough to make it a regular thing" he asked "What makes you say that" I asked "Oh just instinct, I just get the feeling that were not destined to be together or take this any further" he said looking at the ground as he spoke.

I hesitated taking a final draw of my cigarette I tossed it on the ground and crushed it out with the sole of my boot.

"Pete it's not that I don't like you I do, but," I hesitated, "It's just there's someone else" I said "At home" he asked "Yeah maybe"

I said continuing "You're a nice guy and you need someone who can commit to you" I stopped "I'm not looking for marriage" he said quickly "Yeah I know that but I might not be here for that long that's what I mean" I said looking at him,

"I suppose" he replied "It's ok really I had fun as well tonight" He said "Maybe we could go out as friends" again I suggested "Yeah maybe" he said pulling on his helmet, I followed and we set of again on route back to the farm.

We pulled up outside the house I got of and took of my helmet "Thanks again" I said "No thank you, Alex you're a lovely girl" he said as he took the helmet and secured it to the back of the bike as he held his own helmet in his hand.

I looked back the light's in the house were still in I figured Amanda was still here probably spying out the window I thought. "Look I meant it about maybe going out as friends again, and I did have a good time" I said "So did I" said Pete, I moved forward slightly and leaned towards him bending as I did so I kissed him on the lips, "Thanks again and I'm sorry about back there at the lay-by" "It's ok I understand" he said pulling his helmet back on "I'd better be going" he said "Ok and Pete, drive safetly" I said as he kicked the bike into life and began to move away as I waved to him as he sped down the driveway.

I walked up the couple of steps to the house and opened the door and walked in. George was buy the sink washing some glasses as I closed the door "Amanda still here" I asked, I could tell that he was a little drunk as he turned to face me "Oh your back" was all he said "Yeah and don't worry I've put Pete right" I said "I shhold think sho to" he said in a slurred tone "So where is she" I asked "In ther, assslehp" he said, "What do you think your doing George you've got a three year old upstairs asleep and you two are pissed" I said with an edge "Nufink to do with you" he said "Ok fine, enjoy the rest of you night, I'm going to bed" I said taking of my jacket and making for the stairs "Mheby you should go home" he said after me "Yeah maybe I should" I said as I started to mount the stairs and left him behind.

Upstairs I crept into Melissa's room, it was dark and quite the little nightlight illuminating her bed. I walked over and looked down at her sleeping "Sorry darling, did you miss me" I said in a hushed voice "I promise I won't do it often" I bent down and lightly kissed her forehead, adjusting the covers a bit as I did "Sleep well" I said as I headed for the door.

Back in my own room I sat on the bed and thought about tonight, I had enjoyed myself and had loved being out as Alex. Although my future with Pete was not to be I had learned two thing's tonight which had stuck in my brain. One Amanda was jealous of me and two I liked being in the company of men as Alex !

  

  

  

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