Headlights Girl

by Catherine Linda Michel

  

I froze in place, not willing to believe what my ears had just heard. I looked at Tiny and gulped audibly. My eyes traveled up from the floor, along his huge, muscular body, large neck and finally to his face, which had a somewhat serious look on it. My mind was racing to process the words I had heard him say, but it seemed to be stuck in neutral because all I could do was stand there.

My mouth finally came unstuck. It must have, because I heard myself say,

"Ummm, Tiny? You get to do WHAT?"

Tiny looked down at me from his 6'7" vantage point and grinned.

"Why _I_ get ta break in ALL the new gals in bed, Holly. Didn't Eric tell you that? It's one of the biggest perks of my job, and boy do I enjoy it!"

I just stood there. I WANTED to move, I wanted to run, I wanted to do SOMETHING, but my legs weren't accepting any input from my brain at that point. They weren't doing much other than trembling, actually.

I looked over at Eric and he wasn't any help at all. He had this kind of goofy grin on his face and he looked for all the world like he was trying his very BEST not to laugh!

"Holly, with everything else I've been trying to tell you, this was one thing I simply forgot. I guess it didn't seem as important as all the rest of the info I was trying to pour into your brain about your new life." Eric said between chuckles. "I'm really sorry about this, but it won't be bad at all. Tiny here is a GREAT lover and you're going to enjoy him, believe you ME!"

Eric looked away from me right then. I was finally getting some feeling back in my lower extremities and I began to back towards the door, away from Tiny.

"Now, wait just a second here, Tiny." I said in a tremulous voice. "I don't think I'm quite ready for anything like that yet! I mean, I've only been in here," and I indicated the suit I was wearing, "for a day or so! Now, you're a good looking guy and all, but I'm gonna need a few days before I feel comfortable doing ANYTHING like that ok? No hard feelings? OOh! Did I say HARD feelings? Didn't mean to have THAT slip out! I mean, um, oh boy... Okay, look Tiny, I mean DON'T look, not at me, that is. All kidding aside, I'm really not anywhere near ready for...umm, well, you know."

I rambled and blabbered for a couple of minutes, trying to talk my way out of this situation. At the same time I was getting MAD! Mad at Eric, mad at Tiny, mad at myself for getting INTO this spot! I turned to Eric and let my anger loose.

"Eric, you dirty, no good, son of a bitch! HOW could you forget THIS? How could you put me into this spot with no warning? I TRUSTED you and this is what I get? A virtual RAPE? You know I'm nowhere near ready for this, even if you turned the "extreme Holly' function on, I couldn't deal with this yet!" I yelled for a minute or more, when something made me stop suddenly.

What made me stop was the looks on both Eric's and Tiny's faces. They were grinning at me like a couple of kids! A thought began to form, overriding my anger, and that thought was confirmed in the next second when Tiny moved quickly to me and picked me up, effortlessly in his big arms, laughing!

"Aw, Holly! We was just KIDDIN ya, girl. I wouldn't NEVER do anything like THAT ta any of you gals! Why, I think of all of ya like my own kids and I wouldn't never hurt or bother none of ya like THAT! Wow, though. You shoulda seen yer face! He he he he! Ya looked like ya just swallowed yer tongue or something!"

Tiny finally put me down, after squeezing most of the air out of me. I think he put me down more because he was laughing so hard he was afraid he'd drop me! Eric was slowly sinking to his knees, holding his sides and laughing so hard TEARS were rolling down his cheeks! He tried to say something, but he was laughing WAY too hard to speak intelligibly. I stood there, transfixed by the sight of these two jokers, laughing their asses off at my expense. I thought about strangling the both of them, but that was way beyond my reduced physical strength. Finally, I took a stance with both legs firmly planted and my fists on my hips and yelled at them.

"This was all a JOKE? You two...OOOOOOH! You just wait! I'll get BOTH of you for this! I, I, I, you..! OOOOOOOOH!"

Thoughts were coming to my mouth faster than I could speak, and I finally gave up even TRYING to speak and just GLARED at the two jolly jokers.

Eric finally regained some of his composure and said, between giggles,

"Oh c'mon, Holly. You have to admit, we really had you going there for a minute. Oh MAN, I wish I had a camera! The look on your face was priceless!" He broke back down in chuckles then and couldn't say any more.

Tiny had recovered HIS composure and he took over where Eric had left off.

"Kid, that was just kinda like a initiation or somethin'. Don't you never worry, though. NOBODY is ever gonna bother ya like that as long as I'M here ta say otherwise! Me and Eric had worked all this out a couplea days ago, before you and him was here for dinner. We already knew that you was gonna be the choice for the new Holly, and we figgered that ya could use a good laugh ta start things off. I guess me and Eric is the only ones laughin', though. You don't look all that amused. I'm sorry, kid. Don't be mad at me?"

His face took on a hangdog kind of expression, kind of like a hurt puppy, and as angry as I was at them right then, I couldn't stay mad for long, looking at that face. I just couldn't let them off the hook EASY, though so I kept the angry look on my face and turned my back on them.

"A good laugh, huh?" I said, angrily. "Is that what you two thought this would be? Did EITHER of you stop to think for one minute that I wouldn't find this funny at all? Did either of you think that I'd be scared out of my damn wits? Because I WAS!" I was having a HELL of a time keeping my tone angry because _I_ was beginning to giggle a bit myself. I couldn't let THEM see that though, so I kept my back to them, my arms crossed under my breasts.

Eric came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder, saying,

"Oh come on, Holly. It WAS only a joke! You didn't think Tiny would REALLY do anything like that, did you? My GOD, girl! Tiny here wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was endangering you girls. Listen Holly, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd take this so seriously or get so scared. Can you forgive me and Tiny for out little joke?"

I spun on my heel and faced him, shrugging his hand off my shoulder.

"Forgive you? FORGIVE you?" I shrieked. I oughta punch your lights out, you clown!" But right then, _I_ lost it and began giggling. Finally I broke down into a full laugh, tears rolling down my cheeks. "NOW look at what you two have done! It's gonna take a half HOUR to repair my damn MAKEUP! I gasped.

The three of us stood there just laughing for a few more minutes before I excused myself to go to the ladies room to make those repairs.

"Oh, don't worry, guys. I WILL get you both for this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday I WILL get even!" I threw back over my shoulder at them. I walked away from them, past the kitchen entrance and found the ladies room. I opened the door and stepped inside, and when I did, I got ANOTHER surprise!

Inside were most of the girls who worked at HEADLIGHTS, waitresses, dancers and all, gathered together under a banner which read;

WELCOME TO OUR NEW GIRL, HOLLY!

They all cheered me as I stood there in the doorway and then they moved toward me, enveloping me in their arms and welcoming me into their "sorority" so to speak. I knew right then that this was going to be a fun and interesting three years, or more. I also knew that, as long as I was here, I wouldn't lack for friends, protectors and confidantes. I'd never had an experience like this, going into a job, and I was really overwhelmed. I actually started to CRY! I got hugged til I thought I was going to burst, and I got kissed on my cheeks, forehead, neck, and ONE person, I never knew which one it was, slipped me the TONGUE! I know my face was bright red and not just from all the lipstick!

Eventually, they all went back to work, leaving me alone in the bathroom to do the, by now, absolutely necessary repair work on my face. As I applied the makeup, I stood there looking into the mirror at the lovely young woman I saw reflected there. It was still VERY hard for me to accept or believe that the person in that mirror was me, but it was getting easier by the moment. The combination of the programming and the incredible welcome I'd gotten were working on me, making it much easier to become inside, what I saw on the outside. Oh I knew there'd be times when I'd doubt the wisdom of taking over being Holly, and there'd probably even be times I'd regret doing it, but I also knew that it wouldn't be boring, and I would come out of it very much better off, both financially AND psychologically, I thought.

According to Eric, and I had no reason to doubt him, I'd be able to learn just about everything there was to know about women and what they want and need in the three years I'd be working here. That would serve me in great stead when I took up my real life as Jim, enabling me to get many more dates and being able to understand them much better, so I wouldn't act like a typical guy on dates or in any relationships I might get into.

Well, I stood there, as I said, looking at that woman in the mirror, and a curious thing began to happen. I actually began to be PROUD of the way I looked! I started doing little "poses" in the mirror, kind of like the ones I'd seen in movies, where a woman would pout her lips and practice different smiles and stuff. Vamping, I think they call it. I must have lost track of time, because I suddenly became aware that Eric was calling to me, through the door of the ladies room.

"Hey Holly! You going to be in there the rest of the night or what? I'm hungry, aren't you? Get on out here and let's eat and have a few drinks. Maybe even some dancing, later!"

I finished with my repairs and put everything back into my purse. I stopped for just a second to primp my hair a little bit and then I blew myself a kiss in the mirror.

"In for a penny, in for a pound." I said to my new self. 'Might as well get out there and jump in with both feet. I'm going to look like this for at least three years. I might as well start to enjoy it.'

"I'm coming, Eric!" I called back to him. "You better be ready, because THIS new girl is ready to kick up HER heels and party some! Here I come, ready of not!" And out the door I went, determined to live this life to it's fullest and enjoy every bit of it while I could.

Oh, I know, I know. I SHOULD have been freaking out and worried to death about living for the next three years as a woman, but I wasn't. Again, the programming on those tapes seemed to be there at my beck and call and it wouldn't LET me get worried! IT told me that this was okay and not weird or perverted at all. It was just a job, and when the job was done, I'd be right back to being Jim. IT told me just how to move and how to act. All I had to do was relax and let IT have most of the control over my body and thoughts.

Now, don't get me wrong here. The programming WASN'T "taking me over" like some kind of science fiction, mind control kind of thing. It was more like there was a second personality in my mind, just under the surface. It was simple to let it take over and control things, but it was also just as easy to take BACK the control, and "override" that second personality. I guess you could say it was more like an "overlay" than anything else.

All I had to do was relax and LET it take control, and it only took a thought to regain my self, although that "self" was increasingly more feminine, again because of the programming. Apparently, it wasn't going to let me be masculine in any way, although I WAS able to always know who I was, or used to be, and who I was going to be again, in three years.

So, out the door I went. I joined Eric who was waiting there for me, and, putting my hand in the crook of his arm, of we went into the club. We sat down at a table and a waitress appeared almost instantaneously with drinks. I almost asked her how she knew what we wanted, but Eric stopped me, saying,

"Everyone here knows what Holly drinks, and they remember what MY favorite was before I became Holly. You need to understand, Holly, that everyone here is like part of a family. We all, or I guess I should now say, THEY all, look out for one another. They all know just about everything there is to know about one another, and while I'm at it, I might as well tell you now, there are more than a couple of 'girls' just like you. I won't tell you who they are, though. You'll find out as you go. What you DON'T ever have to worry about is that anyone here will ever give away your secret or laugh at you for doing this. Everybody who works here, from management on down, knows how important it is for the regular customers to feel comfortable when they come here."

Eric paused to take a long sip from his drink, while I lit a cigarette, then he continued.

"The food and drinks here aren't cheap, but they ARE top of the line, as is the service. In fact, the service might be more responsible than either of the other two things that keeps people coming back here night after night. They see and are served by their favorite girls and they feel at ease, knowing they are recognized and appreciated, so they spend more money than they normally might. They also tip better. You'll recognize all of Holly's regulars and you'll automatically know what they like in the way of food, drinks and service, as well as just how to flirt with them just enough to get good tips. That was all included in the programming."

Eric was interrupted by the waitress returning with another pair of drinks for us, and a request for our orders. We ordered our dinners and thanked the girl, whose name was Nikki, and after she left the table, Eric continued.

"I've had several jobs in my life, Holly. This one, here at HEADLIGHTS, was more like a family and more like a pleasure than a job. I've never worked in a place where the people cared so much about one another and watched out for one another like they do here. I'm going to miss that a lot, but I wanted to get back to my life as Eric for several reasons. You don't need to know those reasons, and I'm not going to bore you with them.

Now, I've pretty much told you everything I can think of about working here and about being Holly, so what do you say we just spend the rest of this evening having a good time and relaxing. You've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow, with the tapes and practicing your new skills in makeup and wardrobe co-ordination, but I think you deserve a night of fun for the way you've accepted all of this incredible story of mine. I thought it'd be MUCH harder to convince you to take over for me, and I'm so glad you seem to be taking to this like a duck to water. _I_ was much harder to convince than you were, but then again, Frank wasn't that good at convincing me as I seem to have been with you. In fact, I don't even know how Frank got into this in the first place. He wasn't a very nice man at all, but, from what everyone tells me, he was just as good a Holly as anyone else had been. Oh well, I guess it takes all kinds to make up a world, right?"

About that time our dinner arrived at the table and we tucked into the most delicious prime rib I've ever tasted. Medium rare and JUICY, and fries that rivaled any I'd ever tasted as well. I could see why Eric was so high on the quality of the food and drinks here as well as the service. It seemed that any time we needed anything at all, Nikki was right there with it, before she was even asked for it. I remarked about this to Eric, and he told me that it was all in my programming. I sat back in my seat and concentrated for just a second or so, and, there it WAS! I suddenly knew exactly how Nikki was doing what she was doing, and why she was doing it. It was like I'd always known it, but I just had to think about it for a little bit, to remember it! Those tapes were amazing.

"Eric." I said. 'Just what is this suit and what are those tapes? I mean, you've already told me that you don't know a LOT about them, but are you sure you've told me all you DO know about them? Like, where does a bodysuit THIS real come from? Who makes them? How much do they cost? Whose idea was this whole HEADLIGHTS thing anyway?" I went on and on, asking questions, but somewhere in there, Eric stopped me and said,

"Look, Holly. I told you that I don't know a lot of the answers to these questions. What I know, I've told you already. I never asked most of the questions you just asked me, because I never really want to know those answers. Maybe I figured I'd be better off NOT knowing some of them if you know what I mean. You know, there ARE some things you're better off not knowing the answers to, if you get my drift. I DO know that there's nothing illegal about this, and I DO know that this whole deal is legitimate. That is to say, there's no crime money involved as far as I know. In fact, I recall about two years ago, I heard that the "mob" TRIED to get a foothold here. It's my understanding that those who tried, ended up regretting it for a long time, and they never tried again. Apparently, the "lesson" THEY learned was sufficient so that nobody else ever tried either. These places all have every bit of necessary paperwork filed in triplicate and everything is on the up and up as far as I know, but listen. What do you say we just forget all that for now and just have some fun. I feel like dancing. You up for it, Holly?"

Well, after ingesting that delicious dinner, I wasn't sure I could ever get up from the table, but I was sure going to TRY! Eric helped me up from the chair and we hit the dance floor. We started out simple and easy, but as the night went on, the music got a little faster and a little more enticing, until I found myself deep into a TANGO of all things! I hadn't even noticed what dances we had been doing, and when I found myself in the midst of a dance I didn't even know how to DO, as Jim, I hesitated for just a second. Eric must have caught my hesitation because he looked me directly in the eyes and said,

"Just relax, Holly. You DO know how to do this. It's all in there", and he pointed to my head. "All you have to do is let it take over."

So that's what I did. I just relaxed and, there that knowledge was! All I had to do was sort of go along for the ride and enjoy myself, so that's what I did. When the tango ended, Eric and I got a big round of applause from the rest of the people there. I blushed and Eric bowed to them as I curtseyed, taking the rose from between my teeth! It was WONDERFUL. I felt more alive than I had in a LONG time! I was literally bubbling over with enthusiasm as Eric led me back to the table for a bit of a rest and a drink.

"ERIC!" I enthused. "I've never had this much fun dancing! It seems like I know exactly what to do and when to do it, and you make it so easy to follow you! I've never been 'led' on a dance floor before and I thought it would be difficult dancing backwards in high heels, but it isn't!"

Eric just looked at me with a kind of half grin on his face.

"I know, Holly." He then said. "I felt the same way _I_ first came dancing here. Frank didn't bring me, but another former employee did. As soon as Frank got out of the Holly suit, and got some male clothes, he took off and hasn't been heard from since. No one knows where he went, but they DO know that he hasn't told a soul about this. Believe me, they have ways of knowing, too. Listen, Holly. I need to tell you this for your own good. If and when you decide that you've had enough of being Holly, there is a loyalty pledge kind of thing you have to sign. Because of the programming, you CAN'T tell anyone outside the club about this, but once you're out of the suit, you can, so they make you sign this pledge thing."

"Basically it says that you won't ever tell anyone about this, EVER! The management and the owners of HEADLIGHT apparently have ways of making sure you DON'T ever tell anyone, and if you ever do............well, let's just say that there has only ever been one person who violated the pledge. As far as I know, SHE is still doing penance on her knees in some alley for ten bucks a blow, if you get what I mean, and she's doing it WITHOUT the benefit of any programming that would make her comfortable with it. I'm not telling you this as a threat, but as a warning. They're GREAT here, but don't push them, okay?"

Well, Eric looked so serious while he told me all this that I kind of did get scared a little bit.

"My GOD, Eric! Just who ARE these people anyway?"

"Oh Holly," he said. "You don't ever want to have to find out how nasty they CAN get if they have to. It's not something they like to do, but they CAN and they WILL, if anyone pushes them too far. Think, Holly. Why do you think that I started calling you Holly immediately as soon as you put that suit on. If you think about it, I haven't called you anything else since that time, and I won't. It's pat of the whole package. It not only reinforces your identity to you, but it also serves to hide the fact that you are someone else, wearing a bodysuit. It perpetuates the myth, if you will, and it's something that the owners and management insist on. As long as you ARE Holly, that is all you will be called, and all you will answer to. Right now, if I called you by your male name, you wouldn't react to it. Your conditioning has been that fast and that thorough."

Eric paused for a drink and to light a cigarette.

"You'll never forget who you were, and you'll always be able to return to being that person if you want to, without any problem. There's nothing in the suit of the programming that "locks' you into that personality or makes you WANT to remain Holly forever. Everything you decide to do will be of your own free will and without any undue coercion of any kind. I need to stress that, because there's a lot of rumors and untruths about programming and bodysuits out there. NOBODY can make you do anything against your will and nothing can make you do anything you wouldn't ordinarily do of your own free will. There's no hypnosis at work here, Holly. No coercion, no "domination" or anything like it. If you were dissatisfied or too scared to continue this, you could go to management, explain your fears and, if they couldn't reason with you and talk you out of it, they WOULD let you out of even the first three year deal."

He paused to draw on his smoke and take a drink again. Then he continued.

"The only other thing I can tell you is, look at me. I did my three years and I'm out. I remember everything I did as Holly, and I remember everything about me as Eric. I'm not "gay" because of my experience as Holly, and I have all the money I made during the time I spent as her. I'll never forget being her and I'll never regret doing it. Now, I hope I've set your mind at ease about everything?"

I sat there absorbing all that Eric had been telling me. I'll admit that some of it scared the crap out of me, but Eric managed to calm me and convince me. I DID have his example, right? He had done what I was just starting out to do and he not only survived, but he prospered, doing it. He'd told me that he was starting, or RE-starting his life as Eric with over 150,000 dollars in the bank, and he'd showed me his checkbook. Now that money was only the money he'd banked, not the money he'd spent as Holly. If he'd been a little more stingy or careful about his spending, he'd said, he could easily have had over 200,000 dollars in that account!

We spent the rest of the night talking and dancing and just having fun. I put all my concerns and worries aside, knowing that I could ask management any questions Eric couldn't or wouldn't answer. I caught sight of Tiny once in awhile as Eric and I danced, and he would wave and smile at us. At one point in the evening, I had a nasty little thought and I excused myself from Eric, going over to Tiny. By sheer luck, the music changed at that point to a slow, romantic tune and I literally dragged Tiny out onto the dance floor! He looked scared to death, but he didn't resist me, though he could easily have just stood still and I couldn't have moved him with a forklift!

"I TOLD you I'd get you back for that little joke you and Eric pulled on me earlier, didn't I?" I said in his ear. "Now I've gotcha out here, you're gonna dance with me until _I_ say you can go, big fella!"

He started to protest, but I wouldn't let him go and I guess he decided that he'd better not make a scene and gave in. Surprisingly, he was a great dancer! Most guys Tiny's size(6' 7" and right around 300 pounds)can't move very well or gracefully, but Tiny seemed to have a natural grace to his movements and he moved us around the floor like Fred Astaire! I LOVED it and, judging from the look on his face, so did he! I let him go after that one dance, and he actually BOWED to me, I curtsied back and we got another round of applause from the people in the club! Tiny and I parted company then and he went back to doing his job of keeping an eye on everything, while I went back to the table and Eric.

HE was sitting there, watching me as I walked back and, as I neared the table, he got up and helped me with my chair. I sat down, smoothing my dress under me and thanked him as he went back to his chair. He looked at me for a second and then said,

'That was very well done, Holly. You've made some friends, or should I say, I had RE-made some friends, since Holly was well known here, but some of them might have been withholding their judgement of you as the 'new' Holly. By what you just did, you showed al of them that you are doing this of your own free will and are determined to be the best Holly you can be. That goes a long way towards your acceptance here. Far further actually, than anything else you could have done. Tiny is probably the best loved character in the club. His huge size belies the fact that he is probably the biggest teddy bear on the face of the planet. He used to play Pro football, and before that, he was a Navy Seal and trained in several forms of martial arts. He can kick a can off the top of a doorway from a standing start and can lift over 600 pounds straight up over his head, yet he wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was bothering someone else. Would you believe me if I told you that even HE served a term here as a waitress? Don't you ever tell him I told you that, by the way. He'd be embarrassed if he thought anyone else knew it."

"Eric, you don't have anything to worry about." I told him. "I'm never going to tell ANYONE, anything I learn about this experience OR about the people who are working here. Let's face it, disregarding what you said earlier about the possible penalties of telling people about this, who'd BELIEVE me? Unless I took off this suit, as you did, while someone was watching, no one would buy this story for a second! It's too unreal, too strange. Even now that I know that it's true, I still can't believe some parts of it."

I stopped to gather my thoughts and light another cigarette. Then I continued.

'I'm still amazed by the way I feel with this suit on. I mean it feels like there is no suit at all! It feels like my real skin. I can feel even a feather light touch and I can feel every movement of my new attributes. It's like I was BORN female and grew up this way! I don't even miss the presence of my penis like I thought I would. Everything just feels, I don't know... natural? I don't feel embarrassed to be seen as a woman, or to be wearing these clothes or makeup either. I have to assume that it's because of the programming on the tapes. I HAVE noticed, however that in the last hour or so, I HAVE begun to notice a bit of....well, fade as it were, of the way I feel about this. Do you know why that might be?"

"Well Holly, that's probably because this is your first day under the full programming, as I told you. Every day of this week you will have to review and re-watch the tapes to reinforce that programming, to "set" it in your mind. Thereafter, you only have to review them once a month, as the materiel in them is digested and stored in your mind. I think it's about time we headed back to your house anyway. It's getting late and you DO have a full day ahead of you tomorrow. I'm going to activate the "extreme" Holly option now, and keep it in operation until we get back home. I think you need to experience it so you'll know how you're going to be acting once you begin working here. Are you ready?"

Well, I thought. No time like the present.

"Fire away, Eric. Hit me with your best shot and all that." And I giggled at that.

"Okay, Holly. Let's get going then. EXTREME HOLLY ON!

  

  

  

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