Grandma's Gifts

By Jennifer White

 

Mom and dad never should have named me 'Terry'. They should have picked a name that was more definitively male, like Tom George, or Frank. The problem was all because my mom's mom. When I was a child, and I saw my baby pictures, I had asked my mother why I was dressed all in pink.

"Your grandmother gave me the outfit. I *had* to photograph you in it, so that she would be happy. I couldn't disappoint my own mother."

"And how come she has my name written as 'Terri' on my birthday cards?"

"That's how she wants to spell it. Your grandmother is almost eighty years old Terry, and her mind isn't as strong as it used to be. You have to just accept that your grandmother is a little eccentric."

I didn't know what 'eccentric' meant, but I quickly learned what to expect from my grandmother. Every birthday, she sent me a new outfit. An outfit suited for a little girl of my age. Mom would laugh, dad would argue with her, and the outfit would be thrown into the closet. For Christmas, she'd buy me dolls, teddy bears, pink flannel nighties, I wanted a train or a truck, and I got a toy stove. I wanted comic books, but I got Pippy Longstocking. I wanted toy guns, and I got makeup kits. I always hated gifts from her. They sucked. I wasn't a girl, and I didn't want *anything* to do with the junk she sent me.

I was an only child, so there was no sister to give the stuff to. So mom put it into the closet, and it was forgotten about. I hated my grandmother; how could she think I was a girl? To her, I was Terri, and she just couldn't keep it straight.

 

When I was ten, my dad left my mom. She told me that he found a young floozy, and wanted to live with her instead of with us. I asked dad why he left, and he blamed mom. I asked him what a 'floozy' was, and he called mom, and started shouting at her. That scared me, and after that, I didn't like being with my dad.

 

I was looking forward to my 14th birthday party this week though, and at least dad would give me a good gift. Unlike grandma, who would most likely send me something lame and stupid. Something I didn't want. Something for a girl. And then, it got worse.

"I have some good news for you Terry" said mom.

"What?" I replied, excited. I loved good news.

"Your grandmother is coming to your birthday party!"

"What?" I said, stunned. I didn't want her there! She'd ruin everything!

"You heard me. Your grandmother is coming to be with you on your birthday. She really wants to see you. She complains that you never write, you never call her, and you never visit. She says she might not last another year, and she loves you so much that she just *has* to see you. So she is coming here."

"But mom, she'll want me to open her gift in front of all my friends. They'll see that I'm getting a dress, a skirt, or some other crap, and they'll all make fun of me."

"Language Terry!"

"Sorry, mom" I said.

"Now I understand how you feel Terry. But this is something you have to do. I know how your grandmother's gifts embarrass you. I'm going to take care of everything."

"Okay" I said.

"Now we're going to need to spend the day tomorrow to prepare for her. So don't plan on going out to play with your friends. We're going to need all day."

"Okay" I said, disappointed. I didn't want to spend Saturday preparing for grandma. I wanted to go out and play ball with my friends. But what could I do? I couldn't say no to my mom.

 

* * *

 

It was early morning on Saturday, when mom woke me up.

"Time to get up Terry. You need to take a bath before we start. I've already got it ready for you."

She led me into the bathroom, where the bubble bath was ready for me, steaming.

"I don't like how it smells" I said.

"It's just a floral essence. Now wash up, and I'll be back in a few minutes."

I sat in the hot water, and washed up. I slid down, and got my hair wet. Mom had been telling me that I should get it cut really short, so I had been growing it out longer in protest. I wasn't going to let her tell me how to keep my hair cut! Plus, all of my favorite ball players had their hair long these days, and I wanted to look cool like them. So I was washing my hair, when mom came back in.

"Terry, stand up, and get out for a moment."

"But mom, I'm not done!" I said.

"Don't make me tell you twice" she said.

I sighed, got up, and stomped over to the bath mat where she was pointing.

"What's that?" I asked, as she took out a tube of smelly cream, and started to rub it all over my legs, my chest, my shoulders, and under my arms. Then she put some on my face.

"We need to wait five minutes before you go back in the water."

"This cream kind of burns" I said, alarmed at the tingling feeling all over my body.

"That's normal. Just another minute or two. I've got breakfast cooking for you. When you're done, put on your bathrobe, and come to the kitchen to eat. I made your favorite."

"Waffles and bacon?"

"Yes!" she said.

It was my favorite, and she didn't make it all that often. I was feeling cold, and she finally let me back into the bathtub.

"Make sure you rinse off really good" she said.

I got in the tub, rinsed the cream off of me, and drained the tub. I wondered why there was so much hair in the drain when I was done. I looked down, and my legs looked smooth. That cream had taken all the hair off of them! I had a little under my arms too, and some starting on my chest. But when I looked in the mirror, and all of that was gone too. Why would mom remove all of my hair? It just didn't make sense.

 

I went to put on my robe, but the only one on the back of the door was the pink one that grandma had bought for me. I guess I was going to have to use the pink one for now, while she was coming to visit. I went to the kitchen and ate my breakfast.

"Here's some vitamins for you. Take these" said mom, handing me a couple of pills. I gulped them down with my milk, and started on the bacon. She had been giving me these new vitamins for a few weeks now.

"Mom, why did you get me up so early? Why did I have to take a bath? And that cream you put on me made my hair fall out. What's going on?"

"Now Terry, I know you don't like how your grandmother buys gifts for you. She thinks you are her *granddaughter*, and that your name is Terri, with an 'I'. I know how you feel about her. But she is very old. She has health problems. This might be the last birthday of yours that she is around for. So you are going to have to do what it takes to make her happy."

"And what is that?" I said.

"You're going to have to pretend that you *are* a girl."

I almost choked on my bacon.

"No. No way. I'll run away from home. I'm not going to pretend to be a girl for her, or for anyone!"

"Terry, yes you are. You are going to do this for her. You are going to do this for *me*."

"No!" I said. "You just don't understand!"

"I do, Terry. I understand. I know this is hard. I know you don't want to do this. But you *have* to. Sometimes, we all need to do things we don't want. This is one of those times. I'm sorry, I know you don't like it, but you are going to have to."

"And if I don't?" I said.

"Then you can go move in with your father and his floozy."

I didn't want to do that! Dad didn't treat me very good anymore, since I sided with mom. And his new wife had a daughter already, plus they now had a little girl of their own too. I couldn't move in with them! That would be terrible! And so I was stuck. There was nothing I could to do. I *hated* it with every fiber of my being. I bowed my head.

"Go brush your teeth. Then meet me in the spare bedroom."

I went to the bathroom, and I felt like crying for the first time in years. I brushed my teeth, and then went to the spare bedroom. I opened the door, and I was surprised. Instead of looking like a storage room, it was set up as a bedroom again. A room for a little girl.

There was one of those canopy beds, with lacy white stuff hanging from the top of the posts. There was a lacy fringe around the bottom of the bed too. It was covered with a pink and white quilt, and there were a bunch of stuffed animals on it.

All the other stuff in the room looked like it was for a girl. There were mirrors on the dresser, flowers, a shelf holding dolls, and all this other stuff for a girl. Then I realized: it was all the stuff that grandma had been buying for me over the years. Mom had taken it out of the closet, and arranged it in the room!

She opened the closet door, which was full out outfits. Girl's outfits. The dresser was full of girl's panties and stuff. She took out some things, and told me to take off my robe.

"These are panties" she said. Put them on."

"But mom, they're all pink and frilly!" I said.

"Yes they are. They are made for a girl. And you're going to become a girl for the weekend. So you need to wear them. Put them on, Terri."

I took them from her, and my hand was trembling. I pulled them up, and they felt all wrong. They covered me in the front and the back, but the sides seemed to be too small. They were tiny compared to my boxers. And they were full of lace. I was blushing bright red.

"And this is your bra" said mom, handing one to me that was the same color as the panties. "Let me show you the easy way to put it on."

She put the band around me, but backwards, so that the triangles of fabric were on my back. She showed me how to hook the little things together, then to spin it around so it was facing the right way. Then she had me slip my arms under the loops of the straps. She took a moment to adjust the straps, until she was happy how it looked on me.

"Mom! I can't wear this!" I said.

"Yes you can Terri. Girls wear bras, and you are a girl now. So you will wear one. They are just a piece of clothing, which we wear to support our boobs."

"But mom, I don't have boobs!" I protested.

"You do now" she said, holding out two floppy things. They looked like a girl's chest when you saw them under their shirts. They were less than an inch thick, but when she put them into my bra, they seemed so huge! They made me feel so terrible. How could two floppy gel things make me feel so weak all of a sudden?

Next, she gave me this white shirt that she called a blouse. It was so soft, and so frilly. You could see the outline of my bra underneath it. And then there was a skirt. It was red, with thick black stripes going both across as well as up and down. Then there were some thin white and green stripes as well. It came down to just above my knees, and I felt ridiculous in it. As I moved, it swished around. I hated it.

"Very cute Terri. Now for your socks."

She made me put on these thin socks that came up almost to my knees, and a pair of shoes that were black with shiny silver buckles. I thought she was done, but there was more.

Now she put a necklace on me, gold with a heart shaped locket dangling at the end.

"Here's a bracelet for you to put on. And a ring for your left hand. One for your right, and then we'll put on your earrings."

"Earrings?" I said.

"Yes. You'll look pretty in them."

"I don't want to look pretty" I said.

"You're a girl now, and girls want to look pretty."

 

Now with the stupid clothes on, and the jewelry, I felt so foolish. I looked in the mirror, and I seemed like a girl. How could I look like a girl? It was so terrible! I couldn't stand seeing myself like this.

"Here's your purse. Put it over your shoulder like this."

I did as she asked, and felt stupid to be carrying a purse.

"Follow me now Terri. Try to walk like I'm walking."

I followed her around the house, imitating her walk. She encouraged me when I did better at it. Why did I have to walk like a girl too? I wasn't a girl! Why did I have to do all of this?

 

Now she made me practice how to sit down, smoothing my skirt as I lowered myself. Then how to sit with my knees together and my legs crossed. And then how to stand up. Sit, stand, sit stand, over and over. I was getting tired of it, and then I had to follow her again, walking like she walked.

I followed her out into the garage, and she told me to get into the car.

"Why?" I asked.

"Don't argue with me Terri. Just get in."

I got in, and I was horrified when she hit the remote to open the garage door, then started the car.

"I can't go out like this!" I said.

"Yes you can" said mom. "Now be a good girl. Sit still, and don't fidget."

I wanted to die. I was outside, dressed up like a girl! What would my friends say if they saw me like this? I'd be dead meat at school. Nobody would leave me alone if I got caught like this.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as I tried to sit as low as possible in the car.

"To the hair salon" she said. "You're going to get a hair cut and highlights."

I didn't know what highlights were, but it didn't sound good to me! We got to the salon, and I hurried in the door so that I wouldn't be seen. Inside the salon, I felt completely out of place. I was the only guy there. It was all girls and women. There were lots of strange smells and sounds. And I was in there, for an appointment!

Mom introduced me to Debbie, who sat me down. She explained what I 'needed', and Debbie started on me. She started snipping at my hair, cutting and cutting. As she worked, she chatted at me, asking me all sorts of questions.

"So, your mom says you're turning fourteen. You are very pretty for a girl of your age."

That wasn't what I wanted to hear!

"Tell me Terri, do you have a boyfriend? Or doesn't you mom let you date yet?"

"I don't date boys" I said. There was no way I would ever do that!

"That's too bad. I have a son about your age, and he'd love to meet a pretty girl like you."

I felt worse and worse. I tried to ignore her, but it was hard. And it took so long what she was doing to me. She cut and cut, but my hair sure didn't seem any shorter. Then she put some goop into my hair, and strips that looked like tin foil.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm giving you blonde highlights."

But that wasn't all. She put other smelly stuff in my hair, put in curlers, then put my under one of those big hairdryers. Other women were there getting dried, reading magazines. I picked up one, and pretended to read it, so that nobody would talk to me.

Then I was taken back to Debbie's chair, where she did some more stuff to me. When it was done, and I looked in the mirror, I just gasped. My hair was all curly, wavy, and lush looking. It made me look pretty! I felt a tingle all over. This was so wrong, so terrible. I was just so shocked seeing myself that I kind of froze up. I didn't know what to do or to say.

I didn't protest at all as they plucked my eyebrows, or when they sat me in another chair to put extensions onto my nails. The girl filed my nails to shape them, then put on two coats of nail polish, followed by a clear topcoat.

"Keep your fingers spread apart" said mom. "Make sure they dry nicely."

Great. Now I had pink nails. As they dried, another lady came over, and started putting all sort of junk on my face. It smelled. I had no idea what it was, but when they turned the chair to show me my face in the mirror, I looked more like the girls from the magazines. My lips were really red, my cheeks had color, and my eyes looked a lot different. I *really* looked like a girl now.

 

And if I thought that was bad, it still got worse. Mom took me to a shoe store, and bought me high heel shoes. Then we went to a store that sold teen clothing, and she bought me a couple of skirts, and a couple of girl's tops. The kind with the thin straps over the shoulder. I had to walk around, with all the guys looking at me, thinking I was a girl. The girls walking by smiled at me, or said 'hi'. Normally, that would have been great. But not today. Not when I was dressed up like them.

 

I was *so* glad when mom took me home. She took a bunch of pictures of me, then told me to change into one of my new outfits. This one had a shorter black skirt, and the white tank top. The neck of the tank top seemed too low to me. You could almost see the top of my bra. In the middle of the neckline, there was this lace trim. It was very intimidating!

She had me take off my socks, and put on my new high heels shoes. And then for the next hour, she had me practice walking in heels, sitting and standing. It was very hard at first, but then I kind of started to get used to them. Mom kept taking pictures of me.

 

It was four in the afternoon, and my party would be starting soon.

"Mom! I can't have my friends seeing me like this!" I said. "We need to cancel my party."

"I told you I took care of it Terri" said mom. "Your friends aren't going to see you like that, because you're not coming. Instead, I have a bunch of girls coming over. My friend's daughters. They don't know you, but they will all pretend they do. They'll pretend that you're their girlfriend. You'll be fine.

 

Just then, the doorbell rang. Mom went to open it, and it was Grandma. She had a suitcase with her. Mom paid the cabbie, who drove back to the airport. And grandma walked into the house.

"Oh Terri, you're so pretty!" she said. "My little granddaughter is growing up. You look like a young lady."

She came over and hugged me. I was *so* upset. This was all her fault. My birthday was being ruined.

"I have a birthday gift for you Terri" she said.

She opened up her suitcase, and pulled out a box. I unwrapped it, and looked inside. It was a bracelet covered with diamonds.

"Mom! Your tennis bracelet!"

"She's old enough now. She deserves it. Look how pretty she is."

Grandma turned to me now.

"Go ahead Terri. Put it on."

I trembled as mom helped me put it on my wrist. It was just one more girly thing on me, and I felt *so* awful. They were turning me into a girl! And I hated every moment of it.

 

Mom told me to put her suitcase in my old bedroom, and when I went inside, I was surprise how it looked. I guess that when I was in the tub, she had done some work in there. Now it looked like a guest room. And my grandma was going to stay in there.

I returned, and mom was sitting down talking with her.

"Terri, please get your grandmother a glass of ice water. And one for me too."

I went to the kitchen to get it. Great. Now I was serving them. They were trying to make me *feel* like a girl.

"I am so proud of the young woman that you've blossomed into" said my grandmother. "You're such a pretty girl! You make me so happy to see you at last! This is the best day of my life."

Mom smiled and hugged her. She mouthed the words to me, and moved her head, signaling me to say them.

"I love you grandma" I said.

She was so happy that she cried. I felt good that I made her happy, but this was too much of a price to pay! I didn't want to be a girl, and I was going to be *so* happy when she left and I could go back to normal.

 

About an hour later, *they* started to arrive. The girls. A dozen of them. Mom mom's girlfriend's daughters. They were all frilly, pretty, gigglish and girly. And they were treating me like one of *them*. They wanted to talk about which boys were cute. They wanted to talk about fashion, hair, makeup, shopping, romance, gossip, and everything I *wasn't* interested in.

When mom called us out for the party, I thought things might get better. But they actually got worse. There were gifts for me, and I opened them up. The first one was a skirt. The next one was a bottle of perfume. And then, I got a lady's watch. And a pair of girl's boots with high heels. And a DVD of Jennifer Lopez in concert. And jewelry. And makeup. And more. All gifts for a girl! Nothing I wanted.

I had to pretend I liked each and every one. The girl who gave it to me would give me a hug, and some of them did a cheek-to-cheek kiss with me. I was being kissed by a pretty girl, but I was in a skirt, wearing heels, wearing a stuffed bra, and looking as pretty as any of them. It was the worst feeling in my life. It was like I was completely powerless.

The more the party went on, the worse I felt. I wanted to cry. We ate cake, but it was a joyless occasion for me. And then mom gave me a gift. A big box. I thought that at last I must be getting *something* good. But when I opened it, the box was full of panties, bras, pantyhose, and girl's clothes. How could she do this to me? How could my own mom treat me like I was a girl?

"Oh, I forgot Terri. Your dad sent a gift too."

I was eager to open that box. Maybe it would be a new baseball mitt, a video game system, or something cool. I tore open the package as the girls all giggled. I opened the lid, and looked inside. And then I had the biggest shock in my life.

In the box was a curling iron, a blowdryer, a travel makeup bag, emery boards, and a set with six different colors of nailpolish. No! How could dad be sending me a gift for a girl now too? My dad thought of me as a girl now? It was as if the last bit of maleness inside me was being crushed, and squeezed out.

"See Terri? Even your dad knows you're a girl now" whispered mom into my ear. "I've been preparing you for months. And now, you are really becoming a girl."

I took her by the hand, and into my room so we could talk alone.

"What do you mean you've been preparing me?"

"Terri, there is something you need to know. Your grandmother isn't just coming here for the weekend. She is moving in with us, full time. She can't live on her own anymore. And because she is moving in with us, you need to be a girl for her. You see how happy you make her, now that you're a girl."

"But you didn't answer me! How have you been preparing me?"

"Female hormones Terri. You've been taking estrogen for a month now."

"How?"

"Your vitamins. They are real hormone pills. Female hormones are in your system now, and turning you into a girl for real. Soon, you won't need those pads, because your real boobs will start to fill in. You are becoming a girl."

"But why did dad send me that stuff?"

"I told him you were on hormones. I told him that you're becoming a girl, and you needed a gift appropriate for a girl. He thought it was funny. He laughed at you, and said you were never really a boy anyway. You were always wimpy, like a girl. He said you'd be better off as a girl."

"No!!!" I said, as I started to cry.

"See? You're more emotional now. The female hormones have altered your brain. You *think* like a girl now."

"I'm not a girl!" I said.

"Yes you are. Listen Terri, six months ago, would I have been able to get you into a bra and a skirt? You would have fought me more. But the hormones have changed you. You were accepting of your new status as a girl, because you have a girl's brain."

I cried even harder now.

"Terri, now you need to tell me that you are a girl. Do it. Now!!!"

"I'm a girl" I mumbled.

"Louder! Say it like you mean it!"

"I'm a girl" I said again.

"One more time! Say it like you mean it!"
"I'm a girl" I said.

"Yes Terri, you are a girl. Now, and forever. You are a girl, and you will always be a girl. You will go to school Monday, as a girl. You will live the rest of your life as a girl. Until you grow up to be a woman."

I was too shocked to argue anymore.

"You will wear panties every day from now on. You will wear a bra. You will shave your legs. You will wear makeup, and keep your nails long and painted. You will grow your hair even longer, and prettier. You are a girl now. Now, and forever."

 

* * *

 

I thought it was all a bad dream, but it wasn't. On Sunday, I had to go to church with mom and grandma, and I had to wear a white dress. And as mom said, I had to go to school on Monday as Terri. She sent me to a different school, where several of the girls from my party went. They acted like my friend right away, and they accepted me as a girl.

Mom increased the dosage of my hormones soon after, and every day she would drill me. She taught me how to look, dress, walk, talk and act. Like a girl, that is. She drown me in femininity, and every single walking moment of my life from then on was based on my learning a lesson about being a girl.

Now I'm twenty, and I've undergone the last surgery I needed, and now all of my body looks female. And now I've finally found happiness. I'm glad I'm a girl now. I loved my boobs when they grew in. I love wearing pretty clothes. I love makeup, jewelry, and all the fun things I get to wear. I love fashion! I love dressing up and going out. I'm a girl now, and I am *so* happy!

And I have my mom to thank for it all, for showing me the way. Her, and my grandmother. And of course, not to mention, grandma's gifts to me. Who knew that I'd need them in the end? I guess she knew more about me than I did. She showed me the way, and now I have her to thank for my femininity.

  

  

  

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