The Good The Bad And The Pretty

by

Paul G. Jutras

 

Frank always new he was different. Ever since he was six he thought he was should have been born a girl. His father had some sort of secret government work he never talked about and his mother was a housewife.

"Hi Frank," Lesley said as Frank walked up to the house in his faded jeans and Hawaiian shirt. "Come on in."

"Thanks," Frank said as he followed her down the hall to a pink wall papered room with a fluffy pink rug and a canopied bed. As he slipped out of his shirt and shorts, she handed Frank a ruffled pink skirt and a pink and blue stripe top. Standing a pair of girl's panties and nude pantyhose, he quickly got dressed and grabbed hold of a blonde hair girl doll while Lesley took a brown hair male doll.

"I wish I could talk to mom and make her understand that I was meant to be a girl." Frank continued as he went over to the wooden doll house Lesley's dad made her and put the doll on a plastic couch. The plastic TV in front of the doll had a frozen picture of a man and woman with their arms around one another and kissing.

"I'm sure you'll have the courage some day." Lesley said in her white shirt and blue skirt.

"I hope so." Frank said as they played for a few hours before Lesley's parents were due back from work. As they played a game of house, Frank put a pillow under his top and pretended to be the Lesley's pregnant daughter in a game of house. Frank then changed back to his own clothes and headed home where in his red painted room included bunk beds and some dust and rust covered metal Tonka trucks. "I wonder if I will ever have the courage."

He took some plastic food and placed them around the different rooms of the house. He then took his Fisher Price shopping cart and started going about the house. "My daughter Trixie would like some of this." Frank said as he took some blue plastic candy bars. Some steak for my husband, Steve," continued Frank as he got a red plastic steak in the shopping cart. "Some green fruits and veggies to keep my girlish figure," he giggled.

"What do you have on?" Frank's mother, Gretchen asked as she walked in and finished setting her real groceries on the counter. Frank looked down and noticed that he had forgotten to put his shoes on when he left Lesley's house. He walked all the way home in his stocking feet and caused a few holes in his the nylons he secretly bought with his allowance. "Take those off right now! What do you think you are, some kind of fairy?"

Since he had ruin his stockings by walking across lawns along the side of the road home, he threw stockings out and didn't say a word about the fact he occasionally wore girl's underwear to school or whenever he wanted to.

When Frank was about to turn eight, he noticed an ad at school that ballet lessons was going to be given down town. He knew his friends Lesley, Sandra and Jane were all signing up and would love to do so too. "What to wear?" Frank thought as he saw in the front window of the store a white dress with puffy sleeves.

"Mom," said Frank as he stopped in his tracks. "Would you get me that dress for my birthday?"

"What?" Gretchen said in shock.

"Well I'd like to sign up with Lesley and my other friends for ballet class and I'd like to wear something nice to the first class." Frank explained.

"I might have let you sign up as a male balletina." Gretchen said in a whisper. She took him by the arm and dragged him off to the car. "You are not going to prance about stage in a tutu."

As they pulled into the drive way, Frank had heard all he could take from his mother. He ran into the house and to the kitchen draw. He pulled out a knife and tried to slice his wrist. As the blade came close to his skin, laugher came from the empty house. Frank watched as the blade seemed like rubber.

"What was that?" Frank thought as he went upstairs and checked all around. He couldn't find anyone in the house. "The house should be empty."

"Frank?" Gretchen called. He went down the stairs and out the back door. He took off down the back banking and across the street to the woods. He walked down the dirt bike trail and collapsed against a tree.

"What is wrong with me?" Frank sniffed, almost in tears. "Why can't I just be a normal girl?"

A slight wind picked up and a fox showed up from a patch of darkness. Frank just stared at the fox's beauty with wonder while a feeling of happiness spread through him.

He then watched as the fox came up and rubbed again him. Frank gave the fox a rub back and watched it leave. "I've never seen wild animals so friendly." He thought to himself.

When Frank walked the long way back home, he walked onto the school play ground. He swung a little while and used the slide. He heard a noise from the community center next to the school. As he went to a window, he saw Lesley in a pink Tutu, Sandra in a green one and Jane in a black one.

"Hey, it's the Fairy!" Jason Strong shouted. He stood with a gang that came in all shapes and sizes. "Get him!"

"Great." Frank thought as he took off running with Jason and the gang after him. As Frank ran, the area surrounding him became a blur of nothing but colors. He felt like he was going as fast as when he rode in a car. When he looked back over his shoulder, he didn't see the gang. What he thought he was were colorful butterfly like wings.

Before he could think, he collided with his father, Frank Senior. "Whoa, big guy." Said his dad. "You're mom sent me to look for you. Take you home for supper. Whatever the fight you had with her, I'm sure things will work it self out."

As Frank cringed at the thought of being called Big Guy, he forgot all about what had happened moments before. He whipped the tears from his eyes as they went home. "I got tomorrow off work, how about going to the beach?"

The next day, Frank lay on a blanket in a pair of red trunks and matching tank top. He loved the water, but hated the sand at the beach. He often wished the family had it own pool.

"Why don't you take off you shirt and get some sun?" Frank's dad asked. Frank just remain silent and held back the tears of wanting to have a sexy body that looked good in a one piece suit or bikini bathing suit. He watched a teenage woman walked by in a gray top and pink bikini bottom. She walked with a girl with a gray short over the bottoms of a blue bikini. That was when an inflatable beach ball rolled up to him.

"Hi, Frank." Lesley said as she ran over and got the ball. She had a pink bikini. "Want to play volleyball with us?"

Frank looked to see Jane in a navy blue one piece suit and Sandra in green two piece. Frank smiled and got to his feet with the ball in his hand. He ran up and joined the others at the net. "I got something for you," Lesley said.

Lesley pulled some photos from her purse and showed Frank. "I'll come by and give them to you later today." Lesley said. "I know how much you wish you could have been part of my slumber party last night after ballet practice."

"Thanks." Frank said as he said photos of them doing pillow fights and make up and nails before handing them back to Lesley. "At least you understand me."

"We all do, girlfriend." Jane said as she gave Frank a hug before they started the game up again.

 

As Frank got older he got more depressed about not wearing women swim suits off and went less and less to the beach. When Frank was fourteen, he was once again following the laugher he heard when he was alone in the house. That was when he was in led to his parent's bathroom.

He remembered walking by the open bathroom door when his mother was shaving her legs and proceeded to do as best as he could remember. As several nicks and cuts, he gave up with a sigh before returning downstairs to watch television. He had just sat down before the TV, when his parents walked into the house.

"What are you doing?" Gretchen asked in a joking tone. "Shaving your legs?"

Frank just looked pass his mom to his dad with tears in his eyes. He lowered his head in shame and said nothing as he went to get a band aid to cover the cuts that were starting to bleed.

Even this didn't stop him from enjoying the school year where he'd sit with his friends. Lesley and the other girls always had great taste in clothes. While Frank read Cosmo magazine and walked about which boys in class were cute, he wish he could get away with wearing such clothes to school and around the house. Though he still occasionally borrowed some of Lesley's outfits and a pair of breasts forms he paired Lesley to buy for him when he did get into her clothes.

When his mother's mom died near Frank's eighteenth birthday, Gretchen took Frank to the store to buy a suit for him to wear to the funeral. This was the final straw. "No mom!" Frank said stubbornly. "All my life I listen to you telling me that dad would never understand me. You've made it sound like you'd rather have a dead child than a daughter. Now I'm telling you that you can either accept me or you can have your "daughter" buried next to your mother."

"You don't mean it!" Gretchen said in shock. The burning eyes from Frank told her that she meant it. She knew the way he eyed some of his male co-workers at the super market was the way a woman eyed a man she thought was cute. "Your not changing your body, you'll make an ugly woman."

"So you're saying you do want me to kill myself?" Frank asked.

"No." Gretchen said in defeat. "Do you know what you're getting into?"

"Less than he knows." Frank's dad said as he walked up to him. Instead of his normal clothes, he was wearing fancy robes and had rainbow wings grown out of his back. "You see, my work for the government isn't for our government. I'm the fairy king and if Frank wants to become a fairy princess instead of prince, all he has to do is concentrate and call upon the power within him."

Frank concentrated and felt warm all over. It was like he was laying by a fireplace on a winter's night. The warmth started in the center of his stomach and spread to every in of him. As it spread, he felt changes. He felt his hair tickling the back of his neck and shoulder blades, the weight on his chest and a emptiness between his legs. When he opened his eyes, a beautiful red head girl stood where Frank had been moments before. On his back were beautiful semi-transparent butterfly like wings of different colors.

"You can made the wings disappear at will as well, Selena." Frank said as he gave Frank a new name that the new woman approved of. She concentrated and the wings vanished.

Later, Selena stood at the funeral in a long black dress, black pantyhose that reflected his red polished toes through open heels, a black hat with built in veil. The fairy magic allowed Selena to make all of those she wanted to forget she was ever a guy. For the way Lesley, Jane and Sandra always treated her, she allowed them to remember.

During cheer camp in the summer, Selena learned to make pom-poms and form human pyramids correctly. Her father, Frank was happy that his daughter was happy and knew that when she was ready, she'd make an excellent fairy queen. In her heart she was a fairy all along.

THE END

  

  

  

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