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Gone With the Whim

by

Jill Micayla Anglin

 

I remember the day I decide to follow my whim it was five years ago at the beginning of summer. I was sitting in the living room watching television while my mother and her best friend were chatting in the dining room. I was trying to listen intently as when they were chatting there was usually something I learned about someone I knew.

" I enjoy having him around but I would have been happier with a daughter."

"You do know Peggy that he is just about the right age to put him on female hormones and you will have your daughter.'

"Well Jenny, don't you think I have thought about making him become feminine. It just does not sound right for a mother to make her son a girl."

I was shocked at what I had just heard. Moms best friend was suggesting I be turned into a girl. The idea that my mom had actually thought about making me into a girl was not to good either.

What I knew a bout being a girl was nothing I was a ten year old boy and I was a homebody. I liked reading and learning. I was not aggressive nor was I a messy child. I helped around the house with dusting and keeping it looking neat. I had a room that most mothers would want to show their sons. I was not into models but I loved stuffed animals. Mom was reluctant at first to even indulge me in the stuffed animals but after showing her my puppy dog eyes she gave in. I had so specific stuffed animal I liked and so I had bears in dresses. A lot of pastel colored stuffed animals and a lot of them in feminine attire. I kept hem looking neat and had them on my bed. I had a pastel bed spread that went over my pastel yellow blanket and my pastel yellow sheets.

"Peggy, aren't you the one who told me that he likes stuffed animals and is fond of those that are dressed as females."

"Well yes, but it is not unusual for boys to like some of the same things girls like."

"Do it gradually, buy him pastel colored panties and instead of tee shirts camisoles. Tell him that since he likes soft colors you thought he would not mind the panties and camisoles. Sell him into wanting to be a girl"

" I have already made plans on hopefully getting him to become a girl. I have things in his room that most boys would die if they had them."

Mom had planned on me being a girl and bought furniture ahead of time so in my room I had a vanity, it held my large stuffed bear in a strawberry shortcake dress. My wallpaper was a light blue with flowers allover it. My carpet was a beige. And I had a canopy bed. I never even thought anything about my room, to me it was just that a room for me and I was a boy. I did have a Halloween costume hanging in the closet it matched the big bears outfit. I had gone as Strawberry short Cake last year and mom had made the costume for me. I remember she had me looking just like the character. Mom had talked me into reading Strawberry Shortcake books and I was in love with them.

"Maybe he is already accustomed to the girl things and all you have to do is introduce him to dresses and skirts."

"Oh I do not know. I don't think he even knows that his life at home is already a bit feminine. He likes the things in his room and he is so meticulous that if he were a girl it would not seem so strange."

I was thinking about how different it would be if I was a girl. I would get invited to more parties, I could wear pastel colors and most of all I would not have to hear about getting a hair cut from Mrs. Koppeara. She was a pain in my behind, she said I looked more like a girl than a boy with my hair long. She would often tell mom that most little boys liked to be known as little boys.

"Look Peggy your nosy neighbor thinks he is a girl or at least looks like a girl. Maybe you can get him to just dress up for an afternoon and if he likes it; get him to dress more often"

" I just do not want to thrust him into a dress it would be wrong"

"Then just ask him, I think you son would do what ever you asked and not even think it was wrong."

"This is a young boys life we are talking about changing."

"I don't think it is going to be that drastic of a change. Remember you had him dress as Strawberry Shortcake last Halloween,"

"But that was different it was a costume. Not a way of life."

"Tell me did he enjoy it or did you have to force him into the costume?"

"He rather enjoyed it, he liked having his hair put up and the way the dress rustled."

I was sitting there thinking about what she said and was wondering if I could be a girl. I know mom sews for others and she is always making dresses for my cousins I thought I could try on one of the dresses and maybe find the shoes I wore with the costume and go outside to taunt our neighbor and tell her I was already a girl and mom had told her I was a boy so she would leave me alone..

With my plans in my mind I went to the sewing room and there was a dress made out of chiffon and satin, the dress was pastel yellow and had a long satin sash. I saw matching shoes and there was a matching slip and panties. I decided to undress and try on the dress, I remembered that when I wore the costume I wanted to tell mom I liked being dressed as a girl. I put on the panties and the slip. I picked up the shoes and there were anklets in each shoe I took them out and put them on. I raised the slip over my head and when it was sliding down onto my body I shivered and some thing happened I was quite sure I was doing the right thing. I was sure I would be far better as a girl and I did not know why I had that feeling. I sat down and put on the shoes. I stood and picked up the dress and hugged it as though I knew it was mine. I raised it up and managed to find my way through the taffeta and crinoline. The dress slid down into place. And as it did I hear the rustle of the fabrics and it again made me shiver. I do not remember screaming with delight but both mom and Jenny were in the sewing room by the time the dress was in place. I stood looking a the two women and all I was could say to my mom was will you button me up and tie the sash.

"Peggy I think you already have your answer."

"" Yes Jenny I believe I do."

Mom walked over and did just that. She smiled at me and told me I needed two barrettes and I would be ready for what ever I was putting the dress on for. Jenny looked at me and told mom that since I had voluntarily dressed in girls attire she was sure that I was well on my way to being the daughter mom wanted. Mom gave jenny a leering glance and said she was not ready to discuss that right now

"Mom, Miss Jenny is right I do want to be a girl. I want to make you happy."

"Kelly are you sure this is what you want. It has to be what you want or it won't be right."

"It has been since last Halloween that you wore the Strawberry shortcake costume, are you okay with this or was that not just a costume for you?"

"Mom when you had me try the costume dress on and then when I wore it I liked being in a dress. I was afraid you would get mad and tell me never to mention that again"

I was crying when I told her and she took a KLEENEX and began to dry my tears.

"Kelly" She said "If you want to be my daughter than I will make it so." she added, " Before it can happen we both needed to talk very seriously as there were going to be people who would think I am being cruel."

"Since the two of you have no real ties top this city why don't you sell the house and move to another city Just you and your daughter.".

.

"Mom suggested that we all go out for a nice dinner. Jenny said she would go home and change and meet us at Greene's. I gave Jenny a hug and she whispered in my ear "You are going to be a heart breaker when you grow up missy." Mom smiled and gave a little chuckle when she heard what Jenny had said.

I sat on the couch reading a Strawberry shortcake book while mom showered and got read to go out for dinner. I finished reading and decided to just go outside as I had a small thing to take care of. I walked over to Mrs. Koppeara's house and rang her door bell. She opened the door and looked at me with her crooked smile and yellow teeth "Whose child are you and why are you ringing my doorbell." it came out her mouth with a whiny screech

I am Kelly, the little girl next door. Please do not call me a boy ever again." I turned and walked away from her.

"You little impudent child, you stay away from my house or I'll call the police"

I went back into our house and sat on the couch and waited Mom came down she was wearing a navy blue dress with a vee-neck and it was showing her bosoms. She smiled at me and then walked to the window.

"I saw you over at Mrs. Koppeara's house, I hard what you told her and I chuckled when you did. I believe you have really decided to remain a girl."

"Mom, until today I really did not know if it was what I really wanted but the more time I'm in this dress the more I want to remain a girl."

"Kelly any time you decide you want to go back to being a boy, please let me know. I know this decision is yours for the moment but being a girl is not just about dresses and skirts."

"Mom I think I understand. As I boy I do not like sports or roughhouse games. I like pretty colors and I like the things other girls my age like. I do not like being around boys as they are too dirty and yucky for me. I like being around girls because they are nicer and are easier to talk to." I only hope that I can remain a girl and if I start being a girl now when I am older I can stay a girl."

"Kelly, after we are done eating we will go shopping for some things for you for sleeping and playing. I will begin to teach you about being a girl and that begins with hygiene. I will also teach you about house keeping. As a girl you will have more responsibilities and more things to learn."

I walked over and gave my mom a hug.

Today we live in another city and I am dating a boy who thinks I am the coolest girl he has ever known. I promised my mom I would listen to her about growing up as a girl and it has paid off quite well. Mom had me put on hormones during that summer and I went through puberty like any other girl. I attend an all girls school and am captain of my debating team. Joshua is from our associate boys school. He is on the football team, but when I go to the games he is always left sitting on the bench.

Moms friend Jenny died from a brain aneurism while driving to visit us. She had left her insurance to mom and me with the stipulation that it pay for my surgery to make me a whole girl. Mom and I spent last summer in Europe and I came home a girl. No one even knows I was not born as a girl.

It is time to go as Mom and I drive back to Wrightsville every six months to put fresh flowers on Jenny's grave.

  

  

  

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