The Girls-Only Club

by Pamela

 

Chapter 17 (Last Chapter)

 

On the way to church Blake regained his composure and determination, though he also felt a hollowness in his chest, which he knew would persist until the day his dad accepted him as Pamela. After reaching their destination, Willy helped Blake and the other girls out of the car. Blake saw Jeurgan standing by himself at the far end of the parking lot and walked over to him. He didn't know what he would say, but he desperately wanted to square things with Jeurgan before they had to march together down the center aisle of the church.

"Hi, Jeurgan," Blake said smiling and trying to be as sunny as he could manage.

Jeurgan turned toward him and Blake saw him gasp in surprise as his eyes landed upon him. Blake knew he was pretty; the dress saw to that, but evidently the total effect was overwhelming. "My goodness, Pamela, I hadn't realized how pretty you are!"

"Do you like my dress?" Blake said holding out the skirt and twirling around once.

"Why of course, and your hair and your smile and everything. I can't believe how beautiful you are!" Jeurgan was clearly shaken. Blake walked up close to him and stood looking up into his face. Blake's perfume engulfed him and Jeurgan said, "I can't believe you're a boy. You're prettier than any girl I've ever known. Can you tell me what this is all about?"

"It wasn't fair of me to hide it from you, and yes you should know everything. I was going to tell you, but I was afraid."

"I understand that, and my initial reaction certainly justified your fear."

"Please don't torture yourself, Jeurgan. It's all my fault, and I owe you a lot."

Jeurgan couldn't contain himself and reached to kiss Blake, but Blake said, "not now. Oh, I do really want to kiss you, but its my make up! Can you wait until the reception? We can sneak away for a little while."

"I'm sorry, I should have known."

"Let me tell you just a bit of my story. I think we have a couple of minutes."

Blake could see that the other car of girls had not yet arrived. "It actually was this dress which started everything, just a few weeks ago. The other girls had saved me from the boys at school, which were threatening to beat me up, by inviting me to accompany them home, and I saw the dress and fell in love with it. Before I knew it, the girls had seen what I had only a little suspected in the past: that I am a girl at heart. They, and particularly Mrs. O'Connor saw it in me and gave me an outlet for it. I will always love them for what they have done for me."

Blake became quiet trying to think what else he ought to say. "I know that I'm going to have an operation at some point and become completely a girl. I hope this summer to get breast implants, though the rest, I don't know exactly when. That'll be a big step."

Jeurgan looked at Blake with concern. "I don't want you doing any of that for me.

I can't stand the thought of your pain."

"No, no, Jeurgan, I'll do it for myself, mainly, but it is also nice knowing that I would be prettier for you."

"Pamela, you are pretty, almost too pretty. I can't see how you could be prettier."

"I guess it would be hard for you to understand, but I need to feel equal to the other girls. I want my own breasts that are always with me, so I have to wear a bra everyday, whether I want to or not. I know that sounds silly. Maybe I shouldn't be saying that to you, but the girls all understand."

"I think I know what you're saying."

"Part of me is sad that you had to know me during this transition phase. Then we could just have met as girl and boy and it would be so less complicated."

"You would have had to tell me that you had made the change anyway."

"You're right. But then I at least wouldn't have a penis to repulse you."

"It doesn't repulse me, Pamela, and I'm a bit scared to admit this, but I actually find it kind of special. Like I could fall in love with you as both a girl and a boy. That's what's so confusing. When I saw your penis before, I felt a stab of love for you, yet at the same moment I was shocked and a bit horrified. Shocked at myself for finding it attractive. To be honest, I'm not certain I would ever want you to have it removed."

Blake looked lovingly at Jeurgan and said, "that's some of the sweetest things anyone ever said to me," and he came in very close to him and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. "Now I think we had better join the others, it looks like Beth has arrived!"

Across the parking lot the wedding party was now almost all assembled and Blake and Jeurgan walked over to take their place in line. Blake tried to avoid looking at Beth, but she made a point of coming up to him. She took him by the shoulders and made him look into her eyes. "I'm so sorry Pamela, for the awful things I said about you! I think its just the stress of the occasion. You are so very pretty, maybe I'm even a bit jealous!"

"I can't thank you enough for saying that Beth, cause I want this to be just the most happiest and most beautiful wedding in the whole world, and I couldn't live with myself if I had spoiled it!"

The two of them hugged each other: Beth in her beautiful white gown and Blake in his stunning pink bridesmaid dress. The wide skirts joined together and their white and pink bosoms covered with delicate lace delicately rested against each other.

"Oh, I'm so happy," Mrs. O'Connor said upon seeing them. A roving photographer took their picture at the moment they hugged, and Blake thought that he couldn't wait to see the photo when it was developed.

The Girls-Only Club members congregated together forming a circle, and they linked arms. They were giddy with excitement.

The wedding coordinator came over and signaled for everyone to get in their final places.

"This is the big moment," Amy said.

"I'm so excited I can't stand it!" Blake answered.

They got into their places and Jeurgan took Blake's hand and squeezed it tightly. Behind him was Amy and behind her, Beth. Blake said a little prayer to himself: "God, thank-you for this moment, for getting me here, for making me feel so pretty." And pretty Blake felt. The dress held him like he imagined the hand of God would. Apart from the ground pushing up against his high heels and Jeurgan's steadying hand, he was floating gently in the universe. His scrumptious lacy skirt gathered around him and the oh so perfect gentle curves of his breasts pushing up and out, and his hair gently touching his temples. And the delicious scent of his perfume, and that oh-so-special feeling of lipstick and just knowing how pretty his lips must look.

Then he heard the organ playing, and then all too soon he was slowly moving forward with Jeurgan. Into the foyer of the church and through the doors and as suddenly as a condemned man feels the noose and the floor falling beneath him, Blake walked out into a sea, no an ocean of eyes turned and focussed upon him. Every seat in the large church was taken and everyone drilled their eyes on the wedding party. Blake could feel his legs giving way and his lungs burning with fear. How could he make it the whole way down the aisle?

Jeurgan must have sensed his panic for he squeezed Blake's hand till it almost hurt. Jeurgan's strength seemed limitless and Blake had the odd thought that Jeurgan could crush his hand as if it were a bird's wing if he wanted to. Glancing over at him, Blake saw him smiling encouragement to him. It is so nice to rely on the strength of a man, Blake thought, and he imagined later in the evening when he could lie in Jeurgan's arms and be protected from everything.

Blake kept walking by some miracle. The guests were now straining to get a look at the bride and Blake and Jeurgan finally made it to the podium. Blake carefully took the few steps up to the dais like in the rehearsal and was overjoyed he did not stumble. Turning around he faced the audience for the first time and was overwhelmed once again. Hundreds of guests faced him. Any second he was sure he would collapse and ruin the entire ceremony.

 

And now Beth was coming down the aisle with transcendent radiant beauty. Blake felt that the church must be filled with angels to mark the marriage of such a beautiful bride. With a sudden pang Blake imagined himself getting married to Jeurgan. Would he be wearing a beautiful white wedding gown. Would Jeurgan's parents welcome him to their family. Would he be allowed to be a bride? Would his own dad ever get to the point of giving him away in matrimony to Jeurgan?

 

All too fast it was over. Beth and Brad exchanged vows and rings and kissed. Blake couldn't stop himself from crying and he knew that his eye makeup was an utter wreck. But glancing over he could see that Amy and the other club members were also crying. It was such a beautiful sight: seeing Beth in the arms of Brad and their lips formed into one tender kiss.

With the music starting up again, the wedding party followed Brad and Beth back up the aisle and out into the picture perfect Spring day. They formed a line and greeted the hundreds of guests as they left the church. Blake couldn't keep count of how many times Beth and Brad's relatives told him how pretty he was, and that he was surely going to be the next bride. After awhile it was humorous and Jeurgan and Blake laughed to each other at the private joke.

 

Later, when it was time to head over to the reception, Blake agreed to go alone with Jeurgan. After Jeurgan had carefully arranged Blake in the front seat of his car, being careful to keep his billowing skirt and crinoline off the ground and safely bunched up in his lap, he got into the driver's side. He was about to start the engine, when Blake put his hand over Jeurgan's to stop him.

"Wait one minute."

Jeurgan turned to look at Blake. "I want to thank you for all you've done today, not the least of which was being there for me during the ceremony. I never would have made it down the aisle without you propping me up."

"Pamela, it was the least I could do."

"No, don't say that Jeurgan. It was very special and I'm sure that not every boy would have done that for me."

Looking him steadily in the eyes, Blake moved his head toward Jeurgan's until their lips met. Then, as Jeurgan responded after his initial surprise, Blake snuck his arms around Jeurgan's neck and held on tightly as they kissed. Blake felt Jeurgan embrace him and pull him toward him. A wave of delirious happiness fell over him as he felt Jeurgan's powerful arms provide a sanctuary within which he could be totally Pamela, and he kissed and kissed Jeurgan, and allowed his tongue to enter his mouth, and savored its every touch. Blake could stay like this forever, he thought, a receptacle for Jeurgan's tongue, a pretty pink doll for Jeurgan to hold and love. Tears slowly fell down Blake's face, tears of love, he knew, and after seeing them, Jeurgan squeezed Blake even tighter and whispered in his ear, "I love you Pamela," and Blake whispered back, "I love you Jeurgan."

Locked in this embrace for several long minutes, they could hear the sound of the other cars starting up, and they slowly let each other go. Blake said, "I've never been so happy in my life!"

"Nor have I," Jeurgan added, and Blake detected even a little tear in his eye.

 

Later, at the party, Blake and Jeurgan danced closely in a tight embrace. For his part, Blake was thrilled to be wrapped up in Jeurgan's strong arms; to gently rest his head against his chest and feel the rock hard muscles rippling through him as they moved together. "What a day this has been," Blake thought to himself. That after all he had been through, it would end in the wee hours of the morning safely in love with Jeurgan.

The lights were turned down, and Blake looked up into Jeurgan's face, anxious for just one more deep probing kiss. Jeurgan smiled down at him and, seeing the hunger in Blake's expression, satisfied him by placing his lips on tops of Blake's, lipstick smeared mouth. When their tongues intersected, they greedily lapped at each other, and Blake felt a small rise down below in his own panties, besides the large permanent mound pressed against his groin.

When the song ended, Blake excused himself to fix up his face and prepare to go back to Kathy's house. There was no possibility of going home to his own house, at least not before Mrs. O'Connor and his mom paved the way through some sort of magic. In the ladies room, Blake squinted in the harsh fluorescent light, took a stall, lifted up his treasured dress, pulled down his stockings and panties and sat on the seat to pee. While he sat there waiting for the stream to come, he heard the door open and then the voices of Angela and Christina.

When he was done, he flushed, arranged himself and came out smiling. They were checking their makeup in the mirror when Blake said, "Oh, hi, wasn't it just the most lovely party!"

The two women stopped what they were doing and eyed Blake meanly. "What the f--k is a little pervert boy like you doing in the girls bathroom?," Angela said in her cruelest sing-song voice.

"Yeah, you got no business being in here," Christina added.

Blake was about to answer but then thought better of it. It was late, he was tired, they were clearly a bit inebriated, it was best to let it go.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Blake said and turned to walk out.

"Not so fast," Angela said, and gripped Blake's arm. Blake struggled to free himself, but was unable to do so as she dragged him across the room and pushed him up against the tiled wall.

"Let go of me," Blake said.

"You're a boy, Blake. You should be able to push me away any time you want," Christina said.

This made Blake struggle harder, but Christina intensified the pressure against him and he couldn't break free.

"Go stand guard outside," Christina said, and Angela did as she said.

"It seems like everywhere I turn lately, you're there and its bugging the s--t out of me," Christina said when she was alone with Blake.

"I'm sorry," Blake struggled to say. With her arm holding him back he could only look part way down at her, and mainly he was viewing her large bust. "You're hurting me, Christina."

"Good," she said.

"Enoughs enough. You've proven you can beat me up. Okay, if it makes you happy. However, I'm willing to be your friend if you just gave me a chance."

"I don't want to be your friend. Let me look at your phony breasts."

"They won't be phony in a month! I'm going to get implants!

I might even end up being as large as you and Angela."

"Let me look at these," and Christina proceeded to pull down the top of Blake's dress to better inspect his artificial breasts. She was able to get the dress around his upper arms and then pull it down exposing his slip with his bra underneath. She reached inside the slip and under his bra and grabbed one of the breasts and tried to pull it out.

 

Blake let out a small cry. "Ouch! You can't do that. They're glued onto to my body!"

Christina scowled and pinched the nipple hard. Blake felt the intense pleasure/pain in his own breast but didn't let her know he was feeling it.

"How do you get it off?"

"It needs a special solvent which only Mrs. O'Connor has."

Christina eyed him warily but appeared to accept the explanation.

"Let me see your penis."

"Come on, Christina, stop being like that!"

"Raise up your skirt so I can see it and then I'll let you go."

Reluctantly, Blake agreed, and raised his skirt and crinolines up around his waist and then fumbled to pick up his slip and pull down his pantyhose. Finally he had his pantyhose down enough to expose his penis.

"Come with me," Christina said and she led him toward the exit.

"I can't go out like this!" Blake exclaimed.

"Stay right there!" Christina ordered, "and keep your penis out!" She left the bathroom and Blake could hear her calling to Angela. After a minute the two of them returned.

"Let me see that thing," Angela said, and she grabbed it in her hand and held it, while Blake struggled with his voluminous skirts, and his pantyhose and panty started to slide down his thighs. The sisters laughed and then led Blake around the bathroom pulling him by his penis. First one way then the other, Blake shuffled along in his high heels trying to prevent his pantyhose from falling further down. It was a losing battle and soon they were around his ankles. Just at this moment a woman from the wedding party entered the bathroom, and reacted with shock at the pathetic sight in front of her.

"See what kind of bridesmaids Beth has!" Angela said. She

clamped down hard on

Blake's member and to his chagrin, he could feel it struggling against her grasp, trying to rise up. Angela helped this as best she could by jiggling her hand over the glans.

Fortunately, the woman took pity on Blake and demanded that Angela let him go. She gave it a final yank which hurtled Blake onto the bathroom floor at her feet. He lay there a second on the cold tile floor with his pantyhose caught on his high heels and the skirts ballooned out around him.

Fighting back tears, Blake got up slowly and then in a fit of rage raised his arm and tried to slap at Angela. It was a girlish motion and Angela had time to block it with her hand. Blake then leapt at her with both arms flailing away and trying to pull her hair and scratch her. He landed at least one good blow on Angela before she and Christina were able to restrain him.

"I'll get you for that!" Angela screamed and Blake screamed back at her "any time Angela!"

"Pervert."

"Moron!"

The older woman broke into the fight saying, "you girls should be ashamed of yourselves. And as for you, young man, I don't even want to know about your masquerading as a bridesmaid. I hope your mother and father know about it and can get you some help!" With that she led Christina and Angela out of the bathroom and Blake went to fix himself up.

 

When he got back to Jeurgan he said, "I'm so sorry. I got into a little scuffle with Angela and Christina. They're just so mean, but I stood up to them, and I don't think they'll bother me any more!"

"Good for you, Pamela! But are you really sure you're OK?"

"Yes, Jeurgan! Now I want you to dance with me, and hold me very close!"

Jeurgan was more than happy to oblige and led Blake out onto the dance floor, for what turned out to be the final dance. When it was over, Jeurgan and Blake walked over to the other club members who had gathered together at a group of stuffed sofas in a lounge just next to the dance floor. Jeurgan excused himself to go to the bathroom and Blake plopped down between Amy and Kathy on one couch, while Karen, Penny and Janet were on the other. The two girls fell against Blake playfully exaggerating how exhausted they were. Their three large pink lacy skirts puffed up around them and with their dishelved hair and makeup, and their weary, laughing smiles, Blake imagined that they made quite a picture. "I think I'm happier this moment than I'll ever be in my life," Blake said. "I love you Amy and Kathy and Karen and Janet and Penny! I'll always treasure this evening forever and ever, and I always want to be your friends, and I'll always want to be in the club, and promise me that the club will always be here forever and ever!!"

Amy turned her head toward him and said, "I love you Pamela, and I will always be in the club and the club will exist for ever and ever!"

"No matter what?" Blake asked.

"No matter what!"

"And I love you too, Pamela," Kathy said, "and I will always be in the club and the club will exist for ever and ever!"

Then the three girls on the other couch said the same thing and Blake had to fight back his tears of joy.

 

When Jeurgan came back he said, "Pamela you've been crying!"

"It's OK darling, they're tears of joy!"

 

Blake and the other girls spent the night at Kathy's house. They had been so tired from the night before that they had fallen asleep piled up against each other on the thick carpeted floor of Kathy's bedroom, with assorted quilts thrown over themselves. It was noon, with the sun streaming through the windows, by the time they woke up. Their six pretty bridesmaid dresses were heaped up in a big pile on Kathy's bed. Blake was snuggled up between Penny and Janet. Like the others he was wearing only his bra and panties. Their slips, shoes, crinolines and assorted other things were scattered everywhere.

 

Surveying the scene of utter chaos, the girls began giggling and making jokes and teasing Kathy about why couldn't she keep her room neat. In the distance they heard the phone ring, and then the sound of Mrs. O'Connor walking up the stairs. The door opened slowly and she poked her head in to see if the girls were awake.

"Phone call, Pamela. It's your mom." Blake's face must have shown panic, for she quickly added, "she doesn't seem to be upset."

Blake got up and began searching for his slip to put on, but Mrs. O'Connor said, "its just girls in the house today. You can go downstairs like that!"

Blake smiled at her and then followed her downstairs to the kitchen phone. It was nice to walk around in just a bra and panties, he thought: to feel free enough to do it. He picked up the phone and said, "hello, mom."

"Hello, honey. Did you enjoy yourself at the wedding?"

"Yes, mom. Is everything OK? I mean with dad?"

"That's why I'm calling. Last night he couldn't sleep at all and wouldn't let me sleep. It was probably 3 in the morning when he suddenly seemed to reach a point of resignation and let go of you as his son. I think I even saw him fighting back tears. But at least the anger seemed to subside. Then he went to the kitchen and got three large plastic trash bags, and went to your room and but all your male clothes in them. Every single pants, shirt, underwear, winter coat everything. Then he tied them up and put them out on the curb for the garbagemen. At four in the morning!! When he was all done, he said to me, "that's the end of Blake." Then he crawled into bed and has been sleeping ever since.

"But what about school, and everyone else. Can I ever come home again?" Blake felt tears welling up in eyes thinking of the enormity of the situation.

"You'll have to go to school as Pamela starting Monday. There is no choice."

Blake waited for her to continue, but she didn't. "But what about whether or not I can come home again?"

"He can't throw you out. It's against the law and its against me. I'll divorce him in an instant if he does that and I said it to him!"

"When should I come home?"

"You can come home any time. I'll make sure its OK, don't worry. Your father asked Ann if she wanted your bedroom, since its larger than hers, and she said yes. So I guess you'll have to now take her bedroom."

"It's not fair!"

"I know that, but what can we do about it? It's going to be hard enough to stop Ann from traumatizing you as it is!"

"I'll be home this afternoon."

"Don't worry, Pamela, us girls will stick together, I mean you, Janice and me."

"I can't thank you enough!"

After hanging up, Blake relayed the conversation to the other girls and Mrs. O'Connor. They wished him courage and gave him all the assurances they could that they would stick by him until he was accepted everywhere, both at school and at home, as Pamela. Kathy assured him that his room at her house would always be available for him, should he need to use it.

 

Later that afternoon, Mrs. O'Connor drove Blake home. He took all his clothes with him, neatly packed in two suitcases which she had loaned him. His bridesmaid dress hung in a plastic case on a hanger. To be as unobtrusive as possible he had decided to wear jeans, a white blouse and sneakers. In spite of himself, he couldn't resist wearing his new, larger breasts, whatever it might provoke his father to do. He knew that from this time forth, he would never be without them. They would always be on his chest in one form or another, and he would go through his life imagining no other possibility.

Inside the home, Blake found that all was quiet. He put his things down in the living room and proceeded up the stairs to what had been his room. At the top of the stairs he could hear voices coming from his bedroom and when he looked in, he found his dad, Barry and Ann hard at work rearranging the furniture, cleaning and doing some painting. They stopped what they were doing to look at him. Ann gave him her usual smirk and then advanced toward him. Before he knew what happened she smacked him hard on the face. "That's for running away from me yesterday. Now get out of my room, faggot."

Through the searing pain in his face which brought instant tears to his eyes, Blake saw his dad jump up to stop Ann.

"Cut that out Ann!" And then with a look of utter confusion, betrayal and hopelessness, he added, "he's your sister now. You can't go on picking on him. He's a girl. I mean you have to treat him like a girl. Girl's don't get hit."

 

Crying, Blake ran to his father and threw himself against him, his face buried against his neck and his breasts pushed into his chest and his arms encircling him and crying. Blake's chest heaved with emotion.

"Oh, daddy," he said through his sobs, "I'll be the best daughter you ever had. Thank you," and he clung as tightly to his dad as he could.

His father at first acted like Blake was radioactive: keeping his arms out and away. But looking down at the hysterical figure holding him, he saw the white straps of Blake's bra through his white blouse, and the gentle whisps of hair clinging to Blake's neck, and he gently lowered his arms till they held him.

"I don't know Pamela. It's been so hard on me. I don't know what I'm doing. But you are my flesh and blood and I don't want to lose your mom or Janice. I came to the realization last night that I can bear what you've done if only you are now always a girl. You'll be Pamela. It'll be like you've always been Pamela, but only just began living with us here.

Blake was a son I had who died yesterday. He just lives on in photographs or my memory and Pamela is not him. She is someone new, who I guess I'll have to learn to know and maybe even love one day, though I don't think I can love her right now. And since Pamela is new, she starts out at the beginning and gets Ann's old room who gets Blake room.'

"I understand, Daddy. It's OK. I don't mind and I think you are right."

"I'll expect you to only do girl's things. I mean I don't want you having it both ways. You'll help your mom and Janice with the cooking, cleaning and laundry. No more taking you to ball games. No more little league baseball."

"That's OK daddy. I don't want to do any boy's things."

With that they separated and then Blake walked over to Barry and gave him a hug. Like his father, Barry first hesitated but then embraced him fully.

"Welcome, little sister," he said and Blake hugged him even harder. At that moment Janice and his mom entered the room carrying some of Ann's things that were being moved.

"Well, I think it all turned out for the best," his mom said and she embraced her husband.

"I'm so happy it has all worked out!" Janice said.

Only Ann viewed the heart wrenching scene with disdain. But with everyone looking on, Blake went up to her and stood in front of her. "Ann, please let me be your sister. Give me a chance. I have always been proud of your determination to get strong. Can't you use your strength to protect me and not hurt me? I'm going to really need you to protect me at school and around town."

Looking down at the ground, Ann mumbled, "I can't promise anything."

"But will you at least try Ann?"

Looking up at him she saw the large red welt on his cheek. For the first time she really saw the femininity in his face and she felt sorry for having caused such a large bruise. "OK, Pamela, I'll try."

And with that Pamela very cautiously reached out to give Ann a hug. And the funny thing was, she let him. For many long moments Pamela cried softly on Ann's shoulder, and then she felt Ann returning the embrace.

 

************ THE END ******************

 

 

 

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© 1997 by Pamela. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.