Girlish

(A love story)

by Karen Singer

 

Chapter 9

 

"Stephanie... Stop pacing!" Brenda said.

I had been pacing back and forth across her bedroom floor, twisting round and round the new ring on my little finger. I was in a tizzy and I knew it. I was going on a date! Worse, it was with a boy! Worse, Brenda would be there! Worse, she was going with Mark. My two best friends in the world going out together, on a date - with each other. But worst of all... I had to act like I was thoroughly in love with this guy. Jill and Aaron had made that fact abundantly clear. If I didn't do a good enough job, then they would just keep making us go out together till they were satisfied. They wanted to see lots of serious hugging and kissing all night long they said. There was to be no question that he was my boyfriend and we were in love! I had to treat him right - whatever that meant!

Everybody was going to be there. Bruce had held out for a little while claiming that he wasn't interested in attending any sissy event, especially right before final exams started, but Melissa had raised such a fuss about it that he finally gave in. Now it was less than two weeks away!

"Stephanie… sit down!" I sat… on Sharon's bed across from her. "I'm going too you know."

"I know," I said feeling a bit ashamed of myself, but I couldn't help it. "But you're going with Mark, and I know Mark he's really nice. He's the perfect date for you. But I'm going to have to be there with some guy I never met. And worse, I have to act like I'm in love with him, and worse…" I just looked over at her, she was sitting across from me on her bed watching me and listening to me. "The truth is… I'd rather be your date."

"Can I tell you a secret? I've never been out on a date with a guy before… ever."

"You haven't? But we went to the movies together and all the shopping we did and… and…" I looked down at the floor ashamed of my self. "And I wasn't a guy… was I? I'm sorry," I said looking up at her. "I'm sorry. And Mark really is the perfect date for you, especially for you."

"I hope so," she said. "Men have a habit of hurting me. That's why I try to stay away from them so much."

"I know," I said. "But I'm sure that Mark will be perfect for you. I know him, he'll be really nice."

"I know," she said. "This is going to be hard for me too."

"It's just that… I'm still trying really hard to act like a girl in normal situations. I don't know anything about how to act with a boy on a date.

Brenda smiled. "Me either. We'll just have to try," she said smiling. "We've both done a lot of that lately, haven't we?" I just looked at her and smiled as best as I could.

"C'mon you two, ready?" Jill said as she and Melissa poked their heads through the open door. We were going dress shopping for formal gowns.

"Yeah," I said getting up and trying to act a little more happy about it as Brenda and I followed them down and out to the car.

The mall was crowded that day, and so were the formal departments of all the major department stores. As I looked at dress after dress, I was glad that Mark and Aaron were going to be sharing all my expenses. Even the dresses marked as being on sale were expensive. Aaron had said, don't worry about the money. Not worrying about money sounds easy, but when you're used to counting your pennies, actually doing it isn't that easy. I worried about the cost of everything.

But more than the cost, I worried about the style. So many of them were backless or had a neckline in front that would show off way too much of just what I didn't have… boobs! I did have a tiny bit of cleavage now, very tiny. Two days ago, Jill had taken me to a lingerie shop to look for something that would help my shape a bit more. We had wound up getting me a corset, well technically the sales girl called it a "corsolette", but the end result was that it squeezed my already thin stomach down even more and gave me a little bit of cleavage. We found a pair of cheap breast forms to stuff in the cups too. There were no shoulder straps on it. That was the only part of it I liked. We also got me a padded girdle to fill my hips out a bit. I was wearing all that now. Talk about uncomfortable! I was glad it was winter.

The four of us finally seemed to settle on the dresses in Macy's. I couldn't tell a difference, but Jill and Melissa seemed happier with the selection there. At least it wasn't quite as crowed as some of the other stores had been. We all tried on several dresses. Yeah, it was fun… but I kept fretting about my bust line. I hated being a problem. Brenda found her perfect dress first. In truth, it was really the first one she tired on there. It was a pretty blue satin gown. As I looked at her in it, I had visions of rubbing my hands over the smooth satiny material while she was wearing it. "Stop it," I told myself.

Finally I found a dress that I hoped would work. It was in deep wine-colored satin. The entire dress hugged my body closely. While the neckline did plunge down quite a bit, the opening that was exposed was narrower and nothing of my corset showed. The back was low and squared off but was still just high enough to hide my corset there as well. The top of it came over my "boobs" then just wrapped around and fastened with a small hook behind my head. "It looks great on you." Brenda had said. So that was my big dress decision. I was glad to have at least found something.

We put the dresses on lay-away till Mark or Aaron could get by later to pay for them. It only took us another three and a half hours to buy our lingerie, perfume, makeup, purses, jewelry, and of course shoes… I finally chose a pair of black patent pumps with thin four inch heels. My dress was so long that it would still probably drag on the ground.

You want to know what we did for the next two weeks? We danced! Not because we were happy, at least I wasn't, we danced because I didn't know how! Brenda and Sharon and I spent lots of time in their room dancing and watching ourselves in the mirror behind their door so I could learn to dance more like a girl. Melissa and Jill joined us sometimes too. Jill wanted me to try slow dancing with one of the guys in the house, but every one of them refused, at least Aaron and Mark did, we didn't even ask Bruce. Sharon did it a few times with me instead.

 

Friday. The day of the banquet. I told Jill that morning I felt sick but she wasn't buying it. I only went to my morning classes. I had talked to my afternoon professor and told him I wouldn't be able to be there that day. He told me not to worry about it. Then he surprised me by telling me I was exempted from his exam. "You can't get better than an 'A'" he said. I was so grateful. One class done and out of the way.

Friday afternoon was beauty salon day, for all of us, well the girls anyway – naturally. The five of us all squeezed into Melissa's car together to get there. Jill, Melissa, and Brenda were all getting "up-dos." My hair wasn't long enough for that and the girl who had been doing my hair now since I started there decided that maybe all I really needed was to have it curled and set a bit. Sharon was only opting for a bit of fresh styling, "nothing fancy," she said. "I want easy!" We all had manicures too, naturally! Melissa wanted to have her makeup done, but unfortunately the shop didn't offer that service… pity, it might have been helpful for me too.

The excitement level of all of us seemed to increase as we drove home again. Everyone became chattier and chattier. By the time we got home, everyone practically ran up the stairs. Then it was pandemonium! Melissa brought her things over to our room to get dressed. In fact for most of the time Brenda and Sharon were there too. Jill wound up doing Melissa's makeup and mine. Melissa did Jill's makeup and Brenda's. Sharon just said, "I can do my own, thank you very much." She really was trying to go simple. I wished I could.

Our room and sometimes Brenda's room was nothing but total chaos for the longest time. "Where's my pantyhose?" "Have you seen my extra lipstick?" "Help me with my dress." "Does it look alright?" "I can't find one of my shoes!" "Can I try your perfume?" "Help me find my purse." It was truly amazing. The later it got, the more everyone seemed to panic. Me too, but for a different reason.

Finally, all five of us girls had looked each other over and finally, we were all ready. The banquet was supposed to start at seven o'clock with dinner at eight. Mark and Aaron had wanted to leave at six thirty. It was six forty-five. We were only fifteen minutes late. As we all started walking out the bedroom door and heading downstairs, I took a deep breath. I saw a few of the others do the same.

"It's about time!" Aaron said as we were following each other down.

"Well I'm sorry, these things take time," Jill said.

All the boys were in the living room. I really didn't know who to look at first, but my eyes were drawn to the only real stranger there. I tried not to look directly at him, but I just couldn't help it.

Mark looked sharp! What else could I say about him? He was tall and good looking to begin with. His new suit was a dark blue pinstripe. He gave the appearance of quiet sophistication and wealth, exactly right in his case.

Bruce was his old self in an old suit… huge, but still looking good.

I had met Cory before. He always looked like your typical academic type, glasses that were too big, pens and pencils in his pocket. Not that night. Sharon rushed over to him and hugged him. "Oh Cory, you look absolutely scrumptious!"

Then there was Aaron. I just stared. Gone were all the piercing – except for a tiny one in one ear. Gone was the colored hair and weird hairdos. Gone was the leather and other strange clothing. In its place was a man. He looked like a young executive. His dark hair had been styled into a normal style. His suit looked equally as expensive as Mark's. I almost wouldn't have recognized him. Jill just stared. I couldn't even read the expression on her face. I was betting she was happy. He walked over and planted a kiss on her cheek. She closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him firmly.

Then there was my date. I had been watching his eyes dancing around looking over all of us as we sorted ourselves out among our dates, till finally I was the only one left. I saw him smile. Was I good enough? "Stephanie, this is Gary," Aaron said.

He was taller than I was, even with the four inch heels I was wearing. "Hi Gary," I said as he came up to me.

I didn't get a chance to say anything else because he just grabbed me and planted a short kiss, right on my mouth. There was no getting away from it. His lips were soft against mine as I kissed him back without even thinking about it. Then I pulled away, my eyes wide in surprise. "Hi, Stephie," he said to me. "You look wonderful."

"Thank you," I said looking up at him. There was a trace of my lipstick on his mouth. I wiped it off with my finger.

Mark and Aaron had totally splurged for the night and rented a big stretch limo for the night to hold all of us. "That way we won't have to worry about drinking or parking," he had said. I had never ridden in a limo before and was excited about it. Gary held my hand as we walked out. I had held other girl's hands before, but this was a different experience for me. I felt like everything was turned around. Maybe it was.

The limo was huge inside, with the seats arranged in a big "U" shape. I had to scoot around to sit on the side up near the front. Not that easy to do in high heels and a long gown. I was surprised to find the seats were hard and lower than I was used to. I thought they would be soft and comfortable instead. There was a bottle of Champaign in the limo and Aaron opened it and poured us all a quick drink on the way. I had to hold my glass and drink it using only my left hand. Gary was holding tightly onto my right one and didn't seem to be showing any signs of letting go.

The affair was being held in one of the big hotels downtown. I felt like we were all celebrities as our limo pulled right up front and the driver came around to open the door for us. As soon as we were all out of the car, Jill whispered in my ear, "Don't forget, you're in love." How could I forget? Gary seemed to be holding on to me for dear life! But I leaned in closer to him as we walked in.

The place was packed. We had no trouble finding the party, we just followed the people. There was a professional photographer set up just outside of the big ballroom. A few couples were in line to have their pictures taken. Jill and Melissa both wanted to have pictures done and suddenly, it became a group affair. All five of us couples had to have their pictures taken. Gary stood holding me from slightly behind and off to one side. Jill also insisted on a portrait of just me by myself. A close up! I tried to put my most feminine smile on my face for that one. "Something else to remember the evening by," Jill had said. How was I ever going to forget it?

After one final picture with all ten of us together, we finally went into the ballroom. There was a band on the stage playing popular music. The room was decorated for Christmas and was stuffed with big round tables. Bruce and Melissa looked up our table number from a chart by the door. We were out in the middle somewhere and it took a lot of searching to finally find it. I didn't even get a chance to sit down before Gary was asking me to dance. What could I do? I set my purse on the table hoping nobody would take it, and let him pull me out to the dance floor.

The dance floor could have certainly been bigger for the number of people there. To say that it was crowded would be an understatement. But I think that for the first time since Gary kissed me hello, he let go of my hand as we danced to the really upbeat music. Thank you dancing practice! I had a bunch of "moves," as Sharon had called them, and I slowly started working my way through them. Gary didn't seem to be a bad dancer, but I thought I was dancing better as a girl. At least I hoped so, I kept bumping into people.

Two songs later, the band started playing a slow one. Gary immediately pulled me close and just hugged me tightly as we swayed back and forth to the music. I had to reach up and put my arms around his neck. There was really no place else to put them. During the song, he leaned down and kissed me on the mouth again. This time, it was a long slow kiss. I would have tried to pull away from him, but I had just seen Aaron and Jill watching us out of the corner of my eye. When he finally ended the kiss, I smiled at him and just laid my head on his shoulder. I saw Aaron and Jill still watching us as they danced. Aaron smiled and winked at me. Right behind them I saw Mark dancing with Brenda. She looked happy. What I wouldn't have given to be in Mark's place then.

One more fast dance, then it was back to the table for dinner and speeches. I was really glad to sit down. My shoes were killing me. We had to sit through a couple of short speeches before dinner actually started, but fortunately they were mercifully short. I was amazed at how fast the hotel staff was able to serve dinner to so many people, and I was hungry! I didn't eat too much or too fast though, it wouldn't have been lady-like.

After dinner, it was time for speeches. Boring, boring, boring. But we were all stuck there and had to listen. Finally, they announced a short break before the awards would be given out. All of us "girls" headed to the ladies room together. As we all stood in line waiting to get into the ladies room, I said to Brenda, "You looked good dancing with Mark. You looked like you enjoyed it."

She just smiled at me and said. "I did. You looked like you enjoyed dancing and kissing Gary too." Then she turned her head away from me. I felt awful, like I had just betrayed my best friend in the world. Did I?

Jill was standing right behind me. She must have heard what Brenda had said because she leaned over and said quietly, "You're doing really good, keep it up. Aaron threatened to take Gary over to Bart's house for a long weekend if he didn't act like he was thoroughly in love with you. You wouldn't want the same fate now, would you?" I shivered without even turning around to look at her. Brenda turned around and stared though.

The awards were given out by department and Mark and Aaron were near the front of the list. They each got a really nice looking trophy, a certificate of some kind, and lots of handshakes from a long line of university administrators. It took almost an hour to give out all the awards, mostly because the people who were receiving them had trouble getting to the stage through the sea of tables. It could have certainly been handled better.

By the time they were finished and the band started playing again, even I was ready to dance. Gary and I danced to quite a few songs before I finally begged him to let me sit for a few minutes. My feet were killing me! Right after I sat down, Brenda and Mark came back to the table too. "Would you like something to drink?" Mark asked Brenda.

Brenda looked up at him gratefully, "Yeah," she said, "that would be great. Can you see if they have any wine coolers?"

"It would be my pleasure," Mark said with a smile.

"How about you," Gary said asking me. I don't think he wanted to make any mistakes.

"Sure," I said, "I'd like one too." I didn't know if I really did or not, I had never had one before, but I really wanted to just be away from him for a few minutes.

Brenda turned to me with a serious look on her face. "How are you doing?" she asked.

"Ok," I said. "My feet are killing me."

"I heard what Jill told you about how Aaron threatened Gary. Mark told me a little more. Stephie, you've got to keep looking like you're in love with him. I can't even imagine how bad it would be if that guy got his hands on you."

"Me either," I said with another shiver. "What else can I do though? I'm trying my best. I want you to know though, it's really you that I'd like to be here with tonight."

She smiled at me, "That's sweet, and thanks, but we both know that can't be. I'm doing Ok with Mark. He really is very sweet and I'm enjoying myself. Try to do the same. And Stephie, for heavens sake, kiss him! Find some way to show a little more affection for the guy. I don't want to see you wind up at Bart's place. I think it would kill me.

Jill and Aaron walked up and sat down at that point. Jill looked flushed and excited. "Where are the guys?" she asked.

"Getting us some drinks," Brenda answered.

"Good idea," said Jill.

"What can I get you," Aaron asked her taking the hint.

"Surprise me," she said.

As soon as Aaron had left, I said, "I really am trying to act loving towards Gary, it's just not easy. I don't know what to do, especially with all these people here."

"It is a bit crowded," Jill said, "but you're doing pretty well. Just try to be more affectionate, that's all." "How?" I wondered.

As the evening wore on, the band started playing more and more slow songs. Each time I made it a point to lay my head on his shoulder. A few times I actually pulled his head down and planted a small kiss on his lips. Sometimes he initiated the kiss first. It was a calculated dance. I didn't want to over-do it. It would have looked all wrong.

By midnight, the crowd had thinned out and we were all tired. I was really grateful when Mark made a call for the limo and we all gathered our stuff and headed out. Gary was holding me tightly around the waist as we walked together. In truth, I almost needed his support at that point, my feet were in agony.

In the limo, Sharon was giggling and leaning all over Cory. Jill was sitting in Aaron's lap. Melissa looked like she was almost asleep leaning against Bruce. Brenda was just holding Mark's hand but was sitting really close to him. Gary held me close and I laid my head on his shoulder again. None of us girls talked on the way home, a really strange thing. Instead, the guys talked among themselves about this and that and how nice the evening was. I got the impression that none of them really cared. I realized that I had really enjoyed it. All the dressing up and getting ready, being taken care of by a guy, all the fun of dancing, watching Mark and Aaron getting their awards, even the strange faked affection being showered on me by Gary. I had had a great time. I looked up at Gary's face as he was listening to Bruce and Mark talk about basketball and I kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for a great evening," I said meaning it.

He looked down at me in surprise and kissed me firmly on the lips, "It was my pleasure."

As soon as we were all out of the limo, a giggling Sharon just said "Bye" to all of us and she and Cory ran around toward the back of the house where the cars were parked. Brenda and I just looked at each other in surprise. As Mark tipped the limo driver, Bruce picked up Melissa and carried her into the house.

Gary hugged me tightly and planted another long kiss on my mouth. I wasn't even thinking about resisting any more. We had kissed quite a bit all evening long. "Why don't you come back to my place?" he asked.

I was suddenly flabbergasted! I didn't know what to say as I stood there staring into his face. There was no way I was going to go that far! I just had to hope that my little performance all night would be enough. "No thanks," I said finally. "I'm really tired. But thanks again for being so nice. I really had a wonderful evening, and I mean that," I said sincerely.

He looked a little disappointed and worried, but he just said, "That's OK, maybe some other time. I'm glad you had a good time, I really did too. I was worried that you were going to turn out to be some hairy guy in a dress. But instead, I have to look twice to tell you're really a guy. You don't act like any guy I ever met, you act like a girl."

Amazingly, I felt incredibly flattered. I kissed him again and just said, "Thanks," before he walked away towards his car. As I watched him leave I thought again about how much I had enjoyed the evening. I realized that for part of it, I had forgotten that I was a boy. I had felt like a real girl instead. Girl is good!

"You could have gone with him, you know," Jill said as we all turned toward the house.

"I know," I said, "I'm sorry, but I just couldn't."

"That's OK," she said. "You looked like you had a good time anyway."

I looked at her leaning on Aaron's shoulder. Brenda was once again holding Mark's hand. I stopped at the first step up onto the porch and turned to them. "I did have a good time," I said. I looked at Mark and Aaron, "Thank you, I know this evening cost you a lot, but I really did enjoy it." I almost turned to go, but I decided to make one last comment, "For a while there, I forgot I was a boy, I really felt like a girl instead. It was nice." Something inside of me felt betrayed, while at the same time, the rest of me was rejoicing. Brenda came over to me and kissed me lightly on the cheek and smiled at me. Maybe, girl really is good.

Mark stayed behind to lock up the house again while the rest of us went upstairs. I saw Jill go into Aaron's room with him. Brenda asked me to come to her room to help her get her gown off since Sharon wasn't going to be there. Once we got inside and closed the door, she hugged me fiercely and kissed me. I liked her kisses a whole lot better than Gary's and I told her. Holding her and kissing her in that satin gown made me want her really badly, but I was standing there in a satin gown too. I was a girl. My chastity device was making sure of that.

She asked me to undo her dress for her and I did. She stepped out of it and kicked her shoes off. She pulled her slip and pantyhose off to. Then, with a strange look on her face, she came over to me again and kissed me like she had never done before. Strangely, it felt more tender than anything else. She took me by the hand and led me to her bed. I was still completely dressed as she pulled on me to lay down next to her.

She rubbed her hands all over me. The feel of the satin against my skin sent thrills straight through me. She hiked my dress up and rubbed her legs against mine, they drove me crazy. But what could I do? I rubbed my hands against her back as she snuggled in next to me. She kissed me over and over again. We rubbed each other everywhere. She took my hand and placed it over her breast and I rubbed that too. When I started to play with the nipple there, she squirmed. She started trying to grind her hips into mine. Finally, she grabbed my hand and leading it into her panties, she placed my fingers over her most private spot. It was so wet! I had never imagined. I stroked my fingers through her, feeling a little hard mound inside. The harder she pushed against me, the further in I sent my fingers and the harder I rubbed them as I pulled out again. Faster and faster, she pushed and kissed and rubbed against me. Her breathing was like a freight train. Her whole body trembled. Over and over again she trembled, letting out a little squeals of strain and delight each time. Finally, she slowed. I left my fingers inside her panties, still touching lightly, but no more. She just stayed like that for the longest time, till I finally realized she was asleep. I laid there holding her all night. Sleep was a long time coming for me as my mind replayed the evening over and over again.

 

I woke up having to pee really badly. My arm was aching. Brenda was still sleeping on it. The light of morning was coming in through the window. I removed my arm and got up as tenderly as I could without waking her. She looked so beautiful laying there. I picked up my shoes in my hand and headed to the bathroom. The door to my room was open as I passed. Mark was sound asleep on my bed. I felt sorry for him as I passed by. He was the only one in the house who didn't have someone to sleep with that night. Afterwards, I went back to lay down with Brenda again. I didn't want to wake Mark.

 

 

INTERLUDE

 

Dr. Young picked up her phone, "Dr. McGill? Thank you for returning my call. I have a situation with one of my patients that is more up your alley than mine. She has a boyfriend who has been forcibly crossdressed during the entire first semester, and now, she's asking about hormone treatment for him…" "Yes, I realize you don't have any room for more patients. I was hoping for some advice…" "No, I don't think that sugar pills are going to work in this case, I have a feeling that if they don't see some results, they're going to find something more dangerous…" "She's a pre-med student, I think he's into computers…" "I might be able to see him once in a while…" "You're sure they won't do any permanent damage?..." "Nothing that won't wear off in time, that sounds good. What drugs then?..." "All three?..." "OK, got it. And thanks."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jill's cell phone rang. It was Stephanie's mother. "Jill, I just had to ask you. Are you sending me home a daughter, or my son?"

  

  

  

*********************************************
© 2005 by Karen Singer. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, and compilation design) may be printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without the express written consent of StorySite and the copyright holder.