Girlish

(A love story)

by Karen Singer

 

Chapter 3

 

I distinctly remember standing out in the hallway late in the afternoon of my first day of classes. I was talking with two girls and one other guy from the class about making time to get together for study sessions. As we were talking, someone came up behind me and said, "Hi Stephanie, how were your classes today?" I know I instantly turned beet red as I turned and saw Jill standing there with a huge smile on her face.

I didn't even get a chance to answer her before one of the girls I was talking to said, "Stephanie?"

"Oh sure," answered Jill. "He didn't tell you? That's the name he prefers to be called by."

"Jill," I said. "Please, that's not right." I didn't get a chance to say any more because Jill just forged ahead.

"Besides," she went on to the other kids, "look, he likes to wear pantyhose like a girl too." And with that, she quickly pulled up my pants leg exposing the pantyhose underneath.

One of the girls in front of me let out a small scream of excitement, the other one just laughed. I think the guy was too astonished to say anything – fortunately. "Oh, I never imagined," said the girl who screamed.

"So it's Stephanie then?" asked the other girl.

"Of course it is," said Jill. "I know he seems shy about it, but you might want to pass the word." Then with a smile she walked away.

I was totally mortified and didn't know what to say. I just wanted to get out of there fast. Fortunately, I did have an excuse. I had received a note from my last professor telling me that I was wanted in the Curriculum Advisor's Office that afternoon. "I have to get to an appointment," I said to them and just hurried away. I know it was the wrong way to handle that, but I was just too embarrassed to do anything else.

Later that afternoon, when I finally got back to our room, Jill was there waiting for me. "So how was your day today?" she asked. She seemed to be positively beaming.

"It was really going well until you embarrassed me like that this afternoon. Did you have to do that?"

"Yes I did. Now don't get comfortable, we need to make a quick trip to the store. I told you that I wanted you to replace the pantyhose I gave you yesterday and this is as good a time as ever."

We got into Jill's car and she drove all the way out to Wal-Mart. On the way, she chatted really nicely with me about my classes, and also a little bit about my family and my financial situation. I remember it as being a fairly pleasant trip.

Once we got into the store, she led me straight into the women's department and over to the racks of pantyhose. "Now, these are what I gave you to wear," she said pulling a package out of the rack. "While we're here, I want you to get yourself two more pair, and make sure they're different brands and colors."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because like it or not, you're going to be wearing them," she said very matter-of-factly.

I had a feeling that there wasn't going to be much arguing about it. So I just looked through the rack as quickly as I could while she walked away to look at something else. I felt very stupid and foolish looking for pantyhose. I quickly picked out two pairs that I recognized as being popular brands and made sure that the colors weren't the same. I showed them to Jill and she approved of them and handed me the pair she had pulled out for herself. Then we went over toward the school supplies where she picked out a large notebook and then another smaller one that had a really pink feminine cover on it. Jill paid for the notebooks, and I paid for the pantyhose. I was embarrassed, but the cashier just smiled at me as I handed her the money. Jill decided to stop at McDonalds on the way home so she wouldn't have to worry about dinner later.

As soon as we got home again, Jill made me put on one of her skirts and a pretty top to go with it. When I begged her to please not make me wear her shoes because they hurt my feet so badly, she seemed to have no problem with that so I just stayed in my stocking feet. She also didn't put any makeup on me again which I was grateful for.

I didn't really have a lot of homework to do, but there was a lot of reading I needed to get started on so both of us spent the next few hours working on schoolwork. Eventually, I finished my reading and started to get bored. I wanted to go downstairs to watch TV, but not dressed the way I was, so finally I just interrupted Jill and asked her if I could change into my own clothes so I could watch some TV.

"Why?" she said to me. "You're dressed perfectly fine the way you are. If you want to watch TV downstairs just go, you don't need my permission to do it, but that skirt and top stay on."

I didn't really want to leave the room dressed like I was so I sat back on my bed again and looked at some of my school books again. Eventually, I just thought to myself, "The heck with it! Everybody else saw me in a dress yesterday, if they don't like it, tough. It's not like I have much of a choice here." So I screwed up my courage and went downstairs to sit in the living room and watch TV. When I got to the living room, the only people in it were Bruce and Melissa who were sitting together on the couch. "Oh, oh," I thought to myself as I walked in.

They both smiled when they saw me and Melissa said, "I love your outfit."

I really wanted to just tell her to shut up, but I kept my mouth shut and sat myself down in one of the overstuffed chairs as far away from them as I could get. Fortunately, they didn't say anything else to me and we all just watched the movie that was on. A little while later, Jill came in and sat down too but she didn't say anything.

When the movie ended, Jill and I both got up to get ready for bed. Jill suggested that I take my shower first which I gratefully accepted. She also told me that while I was in there, I better shave my legs too. She didn't want to see any more ugly hair under my pantyhose. I was not too happy about that order, but what could I do. Shaving my legs took a long time and by the time I was finally finished, Sharon was knocking at the door demanding that I hurry it up. I think she was about to yell at me as soon as I opened the door, but as soon as she saw me in my nightgown, she just stared at me wide-eyed and I just walked past her.

Back in the room, Jill sat me down on my bed and said she wanted to talk. "Oh no," I thought to myself, "more bad news."

"I think it's only fair that I tell you what's going on," she started.

"Good," I said to her interested. Maybe now I could find out when this big joke would end.

"From the moment I started dressing you up yesterday, I felt a huge serge of power that I just can't seem to get enough of. It seems that I absolutely love seeing you dressed up like a girl. So whether you like it or not, and believe me, I really don't care if you don't like it, in fact I think that's some of the fun of it, I'm going to start making you as girlish as I possibly can."

"Huh?" I said. "But I don't want to be girlish and I don't want any of this."

"Like I said, that's part of the fun for me." I was about to start arguing again, but she raised a finger and stopped me. "And, in return, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you do as well as you possibly can in all your courses. I'm really good with communications and math and between Mark and Aaron they can help you with everything else."

"But it's still not right!" I said getting a bit angry. "I don't want to do this. It's not fair!"

She just looked at me and said, "Life isn't fair, so get used to it."

"For how long?" I asked still a bit mad.

"How long? There's no time limit on this. I intend to work on you to make you look, act, and think as absolutely girlishly as possible. This is for the total foreseeable future as far as I'm concerned. And by the way, in case you ever decide to get ugly about any of this, I'm more than sure that both Aaron and Bruce will be happy to step in and help me out, if you know what I mean. So if you don't want to tangle with those two, then I suggest you do everything I say. Understand?"

"Yeah… and no," I replied. I was disheartened and confused. This was certainly not a direction I had ever planned for my life. But I really didn't have a clear way out of it. I had nowhere else to go if I wanted to remain at school. "But what about everyone else, what are they going to think? And what about school, I don't want to get thrown out?"

"First of all," she said, "the school has a very open-minded policy towards such things so there's no problem there. And as far as everybody else, well they're just going to have to learn to deal with you as you're going to be. I know it's not going to be easy for you, but you'll learn to deal with it. I'm going to make sure of that. In fact, I'll bet things will get much easier for you the more you progress."

"It's still not fair," I said dejectedly.

She smiled at me and just said, "Like I said, life isn't fair." Then she picked up the pink notebook from her desk and handed it to me. "Here," she said, "this is for you. From now on, I want you to keep a diary every night of exactly what you've done and how you feel about everything. And I want you to be absolutely honest in everything you write in there. Don't worry about being punished for anything you might write that you think I won't be happy about. I want you to feel like this is one place where you can always express your absolute opinions about everything and anything. OK?"

"Ok," I said taking the notebook from her. I really wasn't happy about any of this. What was I going to do?

"Now, while I'm in the shower, why don't you get started on your first diary entry?"

As Jill headed for the bathroom I picked up a pen and laid across my bed to start writing. Keep a diary? What for? What a waste of time. Well, if she wanted to know exactly what I thought about everything, then fine! As I started writing about my day, I decided I'd let her know, in no uncertain terms, exactly what I thought about everything. I was as graphic as I possibly could get in explaining my dislike for the way she had treated me and for what she was planning to do to me. Afterwards, as I lay back on my bed reading, I felt better, somehow just writing all that down and getting it off my chest made me feel a bit better. When Jill came back, she asked me if I had finished and I told her I had. I was disappointed that she didn't even look at what I had written. Instead, we spent about an hour talking nicely together about school, family, and life in general. It was a very pleasant time.

 

The next day, I wore a new pair of pantyhose under my pants. I didn't like the way they felt against my skin as well as the pair I had gotten from Jill and I told her so.

"That's one of the reasons why I wanted you to get some different types," she said, "so you can learn what kinds you like best."

I had a break between my first and second classes that day so I went into one of the campus snack shacks to sit and study for a while. As I was sitting there, one of the girls I had been talking to in the hallway the day before came over. "Hi Stephanie," she said as she sat down uninvited.

I was a bit surprised, but also kind of glad for someone to talk to. "Hi," I said back to her not wanting to push the Stephanie bit.

"Are you wearing pantyhose again today?" she asked with an amused look on her face.

"Yeah," I said, "but it's not like I want to."

She looked a bit confused at that, and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Remember that girl yesterday that told you my name is Stephanie?"

"Yeah, sure, how could I forget?"

"Well, unfortunately, I have to room with her. And she's taken it into her head that she's going to force me to become as absolutely girlish as possible in every way she can think of, which by the way, is not something I want at all. It's just that I can't seem to find a way out of it."

She just stared at me for a few seconds. "That's unbelievable," was all she could say.

"I have no idea what else she has planned for me, but for now, I have to wear pantyhose all the time, and she also seems to be keeping me in skirts or dresses whenever I'm at home. It's very embarrassing."

"I'll bet it is," she said kindly. "By the way, my name is Courtney. I don't think I got a chance to tell you that yesterday."

"My name is actually Steve," I told her.

"Well, maybe if your roommate is going to be trying to make you more girlish, I had better get used to calling you Stephanie instead," she said. "Besides, I'm really bad with names, and obviously, I've already got you pegged as Stephanie. Do you mind?"

What could I say except, "No, that's alright." She was being so darn nice about it all. We sat and talked for quite a while about what classes we had and discovered we were together in four of them. I was glad to have a friend.

Later in the day, we discovered that the other two people who had been in the hallway with us, Diane and Josh, shared the same four classes. We decide to form a permanent study group together. Courtney, fortunately or unfortunately, I'm not sure which, made a point of telling them about my supposed fate. She never called me anything except Stephanie, and I guess since she was doing it so openly, everybody else called me that too.

 

So for the rest of the week I wore pantyhose under my pants and skirts and dresses at home. Nobody in the house seemed to object. In fact, they seemed to expect to see me that way. The only odd one was Brenda. She just stared at me wide eyed and never spoke to me.

Jill was a bit of a nuisance about my school work though. Absolutely every single homework assignment I did had to be approved by her before I could call it finished. All the work for the computer courses I had was turned over to Mark for his double checking. Mark was different about checking my work. He liked to expand and show off his knowledge about everything he looked at. I learned a great deal from him. I also quickly realized that it was showing in my class work too. It didn't take long before everyone else was looking up to me as being one of the smart ones in my classes. I felt good about that.

Every night before I went to sleep, Jill made sure I wrote something in my diary. To the best of my knowledge though, she never looked at it, although she said she would eventually.

One other thing I guess I should mention, that darn cock restraint I had to wear made my nights more and more unbearable. Every time I could feel it tugging at me or if I knocked it the wrong way, it would be like it was trying to make me aroused – the very thing that it absolutely prevented. It was a very frustrating time. I think wearing the pantyhose all day helped to keep things in place better so it didn't happen during the day as much, but believe me, I was developing more and more of what I can only describe as a sexual "buzz" everyday.

 

On Saturday morning Jill said we were going shopping. "Uh, Oh," I thought to myself, "things are about to get worse," and I was right. This time, when I got dressed, she didn't let me put any socks over my pantyhose. I was very afraid they would show and mentioned it.

"Get used to it," was all she said smiling.

We headed out to Wal-Mart again, and once again I found myself in the ladies section, which really didn't surprise me. In the car, Jill had told me that she figured we could spend about forty dollars this week on things for me. That sounded a bit high to me, but I didn't say anything to that. "You need some new panties," she said to me as we walked over to the lingerie section.

"Oh great," I thought to myself. Well, at least nobody can see them if I wear them. I just hoped that nobody was noticing the pantyhose at my ankles.

Jill spent some time picking out about ten pair for me that were not really too expensive. She also held them up to me and asked me what I thought about each of them. All I could really say was that "They were Ok." Unfortunately, she made me stand there and sort though them and choose which seven pair I liked the best to buy. That was very embarrassing. Before we left the lingerie section, I had to pick out two more pairs of pantyhose for myself. I was allowed to get one brand that I knew I liked, but the other pair had to be something new again.

Then we headed over to the shoe department. I had a feeling I wasn't going to enjoy this.

Jill said she wanted to find me a pair that I could wear with either a skirt or pants. She looked over the shoe selection carefully while I just stood there and watched. "Do you see any that you like?" she asked.

"Nothing I really want." I replied. That brought a smile to her face.

"Tell you what," she said, "why don't you look through the shoes and pick out a pair for yourself."

"Do I have to?" I asked.

"You might want to," she said with a grin. "Otherwise, I might just make you buy something like these," she said as she picked up a pair of black pumps with a very high and narrow heel. Then she looked at them with a thoughtful look on her face. "You know, actually these would be great for you. They would definitely look great with either a skirt or pants. Very classic! What do you think?"

I looked at the shoes with horror in my eyes. "Ah, no thank you," I said. "Can we please pick out something a little … easier for me?" I asked.

"Sure," she said putting the shoes back. "Find something."

I searched among the shoes with a bit more interest now. I didn't really want to wear the heels that she had selected but there just didn't seem to be any that could pass for boy's shoes. Eventually, I found a pair that had a squared off toe and a chunky one inch heel that looked a lot plainer. "How about these?" I asked as I picked up the box. "There doesn't really seem to be much here that I like." I added.

"You're right about that," she said looking at the shoes I had selected. "They don't really look that great, but try them on."

"Do I have to?" I asked. Can't we just buy them and I can try them on at home?"

"No silly. You want to make sure they fit don't you?" So I had no choice but to remove the shoes I had on and try on the shoes. Several women saw me doing it with my pantyhose exposed and I heard a few soft giggles, but what could I do? Unfortunately, the shoes were too small for me. The box said they were my size, but they were just too small. Jill said there must be a difference in sizes for men and women. I had to walk over in my stocking feet and find the same pair of shoes in a larger size. Fortunately that pair fit. It felt really strange to stand there openly in the store in those shoes and I know my face was nice and red.

"I have an idea," said Jill at last as I stood there in those shoes. "As you said, there isn't much of a selection here today. Why don't we check out what they have a Payless. Then we can always come back here and get these if we need to.

"That's fine with me." I said gratefully. I just wanted to get away from there. I was also really glad to get my own shoes on again as they covered up my pantyhose a bit more.

Payless had a much bigger selection and before we got very far into the store Jill honed in on a pair of high heeled sandals in a special display. "Oh I love these she said enthusiastically," as she picked up a pair.

"Jill, please," I said with a lot of concern and pleading in my voice. "I absolutely can't wear anything like that. Please."

"Not for you, silly," she said. "These will be great for my date tonight." I was very much relieved as I stood there and watched her try them on then walk over to a mirror and admire them. She seemed really happy about them. "Ok, your turn. Find something," was all she said to me when she was finished.

I walked up and down the aisle looking at all the shoes in my size. There just wasn't anything I was really happy about. The few pairs I suggested and showed to Jill she wouldn't allow me to even try on because she said they looked totally like boys shoes and I couldn't wear them with a skirt. Finally I held up a pair that she approved of completely. They were black with a narrow but slightly squared off toe. The top of the shoe would only go about half way up the length of my foot, but that was better than most of the shoes I saw. Unfortunately, the heel was about an inch and a half high and while it wasn't exactly narrow, it was tapered a bit so that it wasn't really very wide either. They just didn't look like they could pass for boy's shoes – so naturally I had to try them on, and naturally, they fit just fine. Jill was delighted with them. I was embarrassed. The two sales girls who I had just realized were standing at the end of the aisle were both staring wide eyed at us and doing their best not to laugh too loudly.

I saw Jill look over to the sales girls with a grin on her face. "Any problem if he wears them home?" she asked them.

The two girls didn't even try to stop their laughter. "No problem at all," one of them said in reply.

"Wait a minute," I practically screamed at Jill. "I can't wear these out there."

"Why not? You're going to have to get used to them eventually and there's no time like the present."

"But I can't!"

"Stephanie, stop that! You know you're going to do it if I tell you to. Would you rather wear a pair like I just bought instead?"

"No, I said defeated." Jill helped me box up my old shoes and we headed for the checkout counter. Walking in those shoes felt really strange. The heels were certainly a lot higher than anything I had ever worn before and I could really feel them hitting hard with every step I took. I felt like I was walking very clumsily – I guess I was. Just walking back to the car made me feel like the whole world was watching me and I was scared. I know that a few people we passed were looking at my feet, but fortunately nobody said anything. My emotions were definitely on overload.

 

When we got home, it was back into another skirt and top for me, only now I had shoes and panties to wear all the time too. Jill made me gather up all my socks, underpants and the one pair of shoes I had worn to class everyday and take them down to the storage lockers. She had me put them into the suitcase that still held the pajamas I had bought and then she took my suitcase and locked it up in her locker so I would have no way to get at my things.

When we got back to the room, she sat me down on the bed to explain some new rules as she put it. I was afraid I knew pretty much what they would be. I was both right and wrong.

"First of all, she said, "you're to wear panties and pantyhose from now on. Since we've gotten rid of all your boy's underpants and socks, I'm sure you realize that that's going to be the case."

I just nodded my head at that and said "I had pretty much figured that out."

"Good," she said. "Now that shouldn't really be too much of a problem for you since nobody should be able to see your panties anyway, right?"

I just nodded my head and said "I guess so." Then added "But everyone can see the pantyhose!"

Jill just smiled at that and said "That's right. Not only will they be able to see your pantyhose, but they're all going to see your pretty new shoes too. I want you to wear them whenever you go out, including to class."

I looked at her with horror in my face. When she had taken a way my old shoes I had planned on wearing my sneakers everywhere, and now I wouldn't even be allowed to wear them. "Please Jill, no," was all I could say.

"I told you that I'm going to make you as girlish as I possibly can and at some point people are going to notice. So you better start getting used to it." There wasn't an ounce of compassion in her voice at all. I was having a very hard time picturing myself wearing those shoes to class. "You don't have to wear them while you're at home, although I suggest you start getting used to them. But every time you leave this house, you had better be wearing a pair of girl's shoes on your feet! If you need your sneakers for any reason, you'll have to let me approve it first."

 

"Now for the next thing," she said. I couldn't believe it, what more could she possibly want from me? "I know you're probably starting to get a bit, shall we say horny." I just nodded my head a bit and looked at the floor. "Well, tomorrow you may get your chance to relieve yourself. But… only under certain conditions."

"Conditions, what conditions?" I wanted to ask but remained silent.

"First of all, I'm requiring that you write me a paper. The subject of the paper is going to be 'Why I Love to Wear Girls Clothes'. The paper will have to be double spaced and a minimum of two pages long. I'm going to require you to make sure that all the spelling and grammar are correct. If not, you're going to have to keep rewriting it until it meets with my approval. And don't try to write anything about not wanting to wear girl's clothes. Your goal is to convince me that you do!"

"But I don't want to wear girls clothes," I protested.

"I know," she said smiling at me. "That's part of the reason for this exercise. So I suggest you either think of some reasons, or start inventing them." I just couldn't believe it.

"Next!" she said suddenly. I still hadn't recovered from the thought of the paper she wanted me to write and now there was more? "Once I approve your paper, you're not just going to be unlocked and allowed to go off somewhere by yourself for a little while. When you jack yourself off, it's going to be under whatever conditions I decide and while I, or anyone else I decide, is watching you."

"Jill, that's crazy," I said flabbergasted and a bit outraged. "I'm not going to do that!"

Jill just smiled at me and said, "Then I guess you're not going to be getting any relief this week, are you?" And with that she walked out of the room.

I just couldn't believe it. She wanted me to jerk myself off in front of her? It was outrageous. That was something that I knew should be absolutely private. I knew I just couldn't do it and I spent the next few hours brooding about it. I thought a few times about the paper she wanted me to write, but I didn't have a clue on what to put in it. And since I knew I couldn't jerk myself off in front of her either, I just didn't write anything.

 

Later that afternoon, I was laying back on my bed reading an assignment while Jill was painting her toenails in preparation for her date that night. When I finished reading, Jill saw me put my book down and said, "Take you pantyhose off for a little while."

I had already taken my shoes off since they had started hurting my feet and a chance to get more comfortable was really welcomed. When Jill finished her nails, she told me she wanted to paint mine too and had me sit in her chair. I wasn't really too happy about it, but I did anyway and put my feet up on her bed while she painted my toenails. It was certainly a day for indignities for me. Unfortunately, when Jill finished my toes, she decided she was going to do my fingernails too. I pleaded with her not to, but that only made her smile at me as she told me in no uncertain terms to put my hand out on the desk for her to work on. A little while later I had matching finger and toenails in a soft but noticeable shade of pink. I just kept staring at them not knowing what to do with them. Jill seemed genuinely amused. "How long do I have to wear this?" I asked her.

"All weekend," she replied like she was surprised I had asked.

"But Jill," I said suddenly remembering something that made me panic, "I'm supposed to get together with my study group tomorrow afternoon. I can't wear nail polish there."

Jill looked at me with a bit of anger in her eyes. "Of course you can, and you will wear it. You know, I'm starting to get tired of you saying I can't and I don't want to. If I hear it one more time, I'll not only send you to that study session wearing nail polish and heels, but you'll be wearing a skirt too."

"No!" I almost screamed. I was in a definite panic now. It was all just a bit too much for me. "I don't want to do it, and I'm not going to do it, and you're not going to make me do it."

I could see that Jill was really mad now. "That does it," she said. "You definitely need an attitude adjustment, and you better start preparing yourself because you are going to be wearing a skirt while you're studying with your friends tomorrow." And with that she got up and headed to the door.

"No way!" I shouted at her back. "I'm done with all this! I'm a boy not a girl and I'm not wearing any more girls' clothes!" She didn't even answer me, she just left the room. I didn't care, I started tearing off every stitch of clothing I had on. I pulled for a few seconds more at that cock restraint, but that was hopeless. I didn't have any boy's underpants or socks, so I just didn't wear any and put on my own jeans and a shirt. I was angry, but felt really good about what I had just done. A few minutes later, Jill came back into the room. She was followed by Bruce and Melissa. "I want my other clothes back," I said to her forcefully.

"No," she said simply and calmly, "You're not getting them. Instead, you are going to get punished – big time - especially now that you've changed your clothes again. Ok guys, he's all yours." And with that Bruce pushed past her and headed right at me.

I don't know what I was thinking, but I just screamed at him "Get the hell out of here!" I think I started to try to hit him too, but he never even felt it. He just came at me and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. Two seconds later I was being carried down the stairs kicking and screaming to the living room. When Bruce took me off of his shoulder in the living room, I saw that Aaron was there holding some ropes that looked like they were attached to one of the big stuffed chairs there.

I was trying furiously to fight them, but my efforts were totally useless. A minute later, I was bent over the back of that chair with my arms tied to the legs in front. "Pull that shirt off of him," I heard Aaron say from behind me as I felt him undoing my pants and pulling them off of me. My shirt was pulled over my head and onto the ropes that held my arms. As soon as I was totally naked I felt more ropes being tied to my ankles and soon my legs were spread and tied to the chair legs in back. I was still trying to wriggle free, but I was getting nowhere. I was scared and angry and my language was not leaving that to any doubt.

Jill came over to me and put her face close to mine. I could see she was holding some kind of paddle in her hand. It looked like it was made of metal and had a lot of big holes in it. "I'm very tired of you telling me you can't do something when I know perfectly well that you can. And your little outburst upstairs was not nice at all. You need to learn to be a lot more respectful toward me and to trust my judgment not yours. This is for your own good whether you like it or not." And with that she walked around behind me and let fly with that paddle right on my backside. Oh wow, did that sting and I started cursing and yelling all over again at them.

"Wait a minute," I heard Aaron say over my tirade. "Allow me to warm him up for you. From the way he's carrying on, it sounds like he's going to need a lot more than what you're doing to him."

"Be my guest." I heard Jill answer him and a moment later, I was being bombarded with blow after blow as fast and hard as Aaron could deliver them. Oh boy did I holler. The pain from one blow could barely register before the next on hit me. I struggled and cursed for all I was worth but it did no good. After what seemed like an eternity, which probably was more like a minute, Aaron stopped. Somewhere along the way I had stopped cursing but now I was crying really hard and occasionally just begging them to please stop. I just wanted it to end. I hurt so badly.

"Your turn now," I heard Aaron say to Jill.

"Thank you, Aaron," I heard her say politely to him. "Now," and with that she swung and hit me again and I jerked again still crying. "That was for being so negative about what you can and can't do." Smack! "That was for telling me you won't do something after I told you to do it." Smack! "That was for your whole bad attitude about all this. And this is for your behavior toward me upstairs and arguing and yelling at me." And with that, she started to hit me over and over again as hard as she could. She was nowhere near as strong as Aaron was, but I was so sore that every blow felt like a knife being thrust into my backside. I cried and cried and cried.

When she was finished, she came around to the front of the chair and put her face near mine again. "I hate you all! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I said to them over and over again.

"That may be so," Jill said to me, "but other than this little party, I think we've all been very nice to you since you got here. We've been taking a lot of our time to help you with your schoolwork and I know you said how much you appreciate that and how good it makes you feel to be so smart in your classes. Now, if you want that to continue, and I hope you do, then I suggest you start listening to me and doing what I tell you to." I just cried. "Now am I going to have any more trouble out of you?"

"No," I cried.

"Then I'll untie you now and you can go back upstairs." A minute later all the ropes were off of me and I was doing my best to straighten up. My backside was absolutely on fire. I just picked up my clothes in my hands and still crying, made my way painfully back upstairs. I was so miserable that I didn't really get dressed again. Instead, I put my nightgown on and got under the covers in my bed and just cried myself to sleep. I know Jill came in and out a few times, but it hardly even registered in my brain. I just slept.

 

Sometime in the middle of the night, I heard Jill come back from her date. It woke me up and I rolled over and watched as she changed into her nightgown and put her clothes away. She was so beautiful. She went out on dates and had lots of fun with other people. Would I ever get to date a girl? I wanted to do what everyone else did so badly, but it didn't look like it was ever going to happen as long as I was going to be kept in girls clothes.

I strongly considered dropping out of school, but I had really wanted to get here so badly. I wanted to tell my mother about it all, but I could just hear her saying to me, as she had so often, that I had to learn to fight my own battles. She couldn't always be around to help me. So I was stuck. It just wasn't fair. And soon I was back asleep again for the night.

 

Sunday morning I spent doing laundry and I had plenty of it to do since I had to wash all of Jill's clothes that I had worn too. At least it was something that I could stand up to do. My backside burned really badly and sitting down was uncomfortable to say the least. I don't think I hardly spoke to anyone that morning. I just tried to keep to myself. I was sulking I guess.

I spent a lot of time worrying about going to that study session. We had two tests coming up on Monday and thanks to the efforts of Mark and Jill, I knew everything cold. I had tried to tell Jill that I knew everything well enough to not go to the study session, but she wasn't having any of that. She said I was going and that was that.

We were supposed to meet at the library at two o'clock, and as each passing hour came, the butterflies in my stomach got worse and worse. At one fifteen I went upstairs to get dressed. Jill wasn't around so I quickly put on my pants and shirt. I was hoping I could get out of there without the skirt and that maybe she had forgotten. I did wear the heels. I knew there was no way I could get away with not wearing them. I grabbed my book bag and headed quickly downstairs toward the door.

That's when she caught me and stopped me. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked sternly.

"To my study session," I said like there was nothing wrong.

"Back upstairs for a minute," she commanded me.

"Jill, please," I said as I looked at her with a pitiful look on my face. "Please?"

"Upstairs!" was all she said. So I turned around and slowly headed back up to our room with her right behind me. "Did you think I had forgotten?" she said. "I told you that you were going to wear a skirt to this session today and I meant it. You're going to have to learn that I'm not going to back down on anything I tell you to do."

And with that she started rummaging through her closet. "Yes!" she said at last, "this should be perfect." She held out a short black mini-skirt for me. I looked at it with horror in my eyes. My legs would be completely exposed. "Come on," she said. Get those pants off and put this on. You're going to be late. Or do you want another beating?"

There just didn't seem to be any way out of it for me. I slowly took my pants off, then took the skirt from her and put it on. I had been wearing skirts around the house for a week now, but somehow this was totally different. The skirt was a bit stretchy so it fit tight and the bottom of it just didn't seem to come very far below by crotch. When I looked down at myself I didn't see much skirt at all, just pantyhose and my shoes. The butterflies in my stomach felt like elephants. "Ok," she said with a big smile as soon as I was ready, "let's go."

When we got back downstairs, Bruce and Melissa were at the door waiting for us. "Very pretty," Melissa said with a big smile as soon as she saw me. We thought we'd tag along for a few minutes, just to make sure he gets there alright."

"Great idea, thanks," said Jill. And there it was. Any thoughts I had about going somewhere and just hiding out for a while were completely dashed.

There was a major moment of panic as I went out through the door into the cool light of the afternoon, but I just kept on going. There was nothing else for me to do. We all walked together all the way to the library. As I walked, I just kept looking at the sidewalk in front of me. Mostly all I saw was my stockinged legs and shoes, stretching out in front of me, over and over again, reminding me over and over again just how exposed I was. My legs looked like they belonged to someone else, not me. It was a hopeless fantasy.

It took us almost twenty minutes to walk there, then up the stairs and into the library. I know people must have been laughing at me but I had kept my head down for the entire trip. Now though, I had to look up and find my friends. Eventually I spotted them at a long table in the back. I stopped as soon as I saw them. I was late so they were all there ahead of me. How could I approach them?

"It's a quarter after two," I heard Jill say to me. "I don't want to see you back at home till at least five thirty. If I see you before that, then you'll be wearing that skirt to class tomorrow too. Got it?" I just looked at my friends with more horror in my eyes. The thought of wearing a skirt to class, especially the one I had on, was more than I could bear. I just nodded my head. "Good, you better go see your friends then," she said.

And with that, it was up to me to leave the protection of the people I had been with, make my way across the room and totally humiliate myself in front of my classmates.

I walked slowly across the floor, straight ahead. I didn't look left or right, I couldn't. All I could look at were my friends as I approached them. I could feel Jill and the others standing there watching me as I went. About ten yards from the table, Diane first caught sight of me and turned her head staring. The others quickly followed suit. At about five yards from the table I just stopped. Nobody said a word. They all just stared at me. Finally, I knew I had to break the silence. "May I please still join you?" I asked tentatively. Nobody said anything for a second then before anyone could say anything, I just blurted out "I know how stupid I look, but I can't help it. They're making me dress this way."

I could see that Josh was trying to find something to say, but just couldn't find any words. It was Courtney that finally put a big smile on her face and said "Of course you can. We've been waiting for you." The ice had been broken and I felt a whole lot better.

"Wow, you've got legs," Diane said as I made my way to the back of the table where I hoped I couldn't be seen as well.

I don't know if she was serious or teasing, but I'm sure I blushed. Sitting down on that hard chair instantly reminded me of the beating I had gotten the day before as my backside instantly sent an itching-burning feeling to my brain that just wouldn't seem to go away. Josh must have noticed how tenderly I had to sit down because he asked me if I was OK. "Yeah, I answered him, "sort of. I'm afraid I got the spanking of my life yesterday and it's still hurting a lot."

"Poor thing," Courtney said with some sympathy. "Now, you've got to explain this to us," she said suddenly changing the subject. "You're the only one here who knows how to do this stuff." And with that, I spent the next few hours tutoring them on the things we needed for the tests the next morning.

A little before five o'clock Josh decided that he'd had enough and it was time to leave. "Anybody want to get something to eat?" he asked.

"Great idea," the others seemed to agree. All except me.

"I don't think that's a good idea for me," I said. Then I looked at my watch. If I got home too early I would have to wear this skirt to class in the morning, and I had no doubts that Jill would make me do it too. "Can't we stay and study for a little while more?" I asked.

"Why?" Courtney asked me, "You already know all this just fine, and I think we all have it down pretty well now too?"

"Well," I said a bit tentatively, "Jill threatened me that if I got home before five thirty that she would make me wear this skirt to my classes tomorrow too. And it won't take me very long to walk home."

"Oh," said Diane. "I guess that would present a bit of a problem for you. Why don't you come and get something to eat with us then? That way you'll be out plenty long enough."

"Ah, Diane," I said a bit exasperated. "I don't really want to be walking around everywhere in this skirt, if you know what I mean?"

"Why?" Diane said playfully with a teasing look in her eyes. "I wear them all the time, see." And she stood and twirled around to show off the skirt she was wearing." I was still searching for a good come-back to her when she said "Just teasing. But you're still going to have to get out of here and walk home eventually anyway."

"While were talking about it," said Courtney, "you told us that Jill has it in for you and that she's determined to make you more 'girlish' as you put it. It looks like she's started upping the anti a bit. What are you going to do about it?"

I just looked at them. That was the million dollar question that had been plaguing me since it all started. I looked at Josh. "Don't ask me," he said. "I don't have a clue how to help you."

Finally I just said. "I don't know. I've pleaded and pleaded, and tried to find a way out of this but I just seem to be stuck." Then without thinking I told them about some of the new rules Jill had set for me. "She's requiring that I wear not just pantyhose, but now panties and girl's shoes all the time too. She even took me shopping for them yesterday and made me pick them out myself. It's going to be very embarrassing."

"God!" said Josh unbelieving.

"Poor thing," said Diane almost teasing again. "So you're going to be wearing those shoes to class tomorrow?"

"Yeah," I said. "She took my old shoes away and locked them in her storage locker."

"Well, no problem then," Diane said with an air of confidence. "You'll just have to wear them and make the best of it and that will be that." She said it so matter-of-factly that it took me a minute to let it sink in. And she was absolutely right of course.

I wound up sitting by myself at that table for another half hour till it was just a little before five thirty. Then I summoned up my courage and walked quickly, not so fast as to attract too much attention, but determinedly anyway, out the door, and all the way home. As soon as I walked into the house and closed the door behind me, I looked at my watch, five forty, "Yes!"

As I passed by the living room I saw Melissa and Bruce watching TV again. Melissa called out to me, "How did it go?"

I stopped and looked in. "It went alright." I said simply.
Jill came out of the kitchen holding a carrot in her hand and asked, "So, what big problems did you have?" That stopped me. At first I thought she was just kidding, but she seemed so serious. "I mean, did you really have any problems at all?" she asked again.

She was serious. And I tried to find a way to answer her, but the longer I stood there with her watching, the more I realized that I didn't really have any real problems at all, if you don't count the fact that I was just out in public with my friends while wearing a skirt. As the realization finally hit me, all I could answer was a sheepish "I guess there were no problems."

"Good," she said simply. "And by the way, you look good in that skirt. Anytime you want to wear it to school is fine by me."

"No thank you," I replied. "May I go now?"

"Sure," she said. "Don't let me keep you from anything." And she turned and walked back to the kitchen chewing on the carrot.

I went back to my room and just sat on the bed feeling a bit mind-numb. I had to sort out my feelings, but I didn't really even know where to start. But I was soon interrupted by the ring of my cell phone, Mom again. I had talked to her on Wednesday night too, so there wasn't much for me to say to her. There was no way I was going to tell her what was really going on so I just assured her that everything and everyone was fine. That's all she really needed to know and she spent the next twenty minutes telling me about her last couple of days and all the gossip. It was sort of comforting to hear about everyone and everything else and I didn't think about myself for a little while.

 

On Monday morning, I dutifully dressed myself as required and then, as politely as I could, asked Jill to please remove the nail polish from my fingers. "I don't think so," she answered. I'm sure she saw the look of horror that registered on my face. "I like the way it looks on you, and after wearing a skirt out with your friends yesterday, I don't think that asking you to wear fingernail polish is too much for you to handle now."

"But, you said I only had to wear it for the weekend," I pleaded.

She looked at me sternly and asked "Are you arguing again, are you telling me that you can't do something when I know perfectly well that you can?"

That backed me down really fast. "No," I said. "I was just hoping."

"Good," she replied. "Get used to it."

So I went off to classes wearing nail polish and girls shoes and pantyhose that showed whenever my pants legs rode up. In my first class I picked a seat in the back of the room hoping I would be less conspicuous. When Diane and Courtney came in together they were confused by this and asked what I was doing back there. "I just thought it might be better," I said.

Diane put her books on her regular seat and walked back to me with a look of excitement in her eyes. "Are you wearing a skirt again?" she almost laughed as she asked.

"No, fortunately," I answered her. "Just these darn shoes and she also made me leave the nail polish on." Unfortunately, another girl heard us and got curious and wanted to see my hands.

I had no option other than to show her. "Oh pretty," someone else said as the group around me grew. Then someone else wanted to see my shoes better, so I had to stand up and lift my pants leg to let them all see. It was very embarrassing, but in the end, Diane made me get my books and go back to the front where I usually sat. During the test, I know the professor saw the nail polish on my fingers, but he never said anything.

 

So that's how I spent my second week at school. On Wednesday, Jill touched up the nail polish so it would continue to look good. She seemed very pleased with me and for some reason very proud of herself. I guess I was starting to get the reputation of being a bit eccentric or weird. Maybe I was, but not by choice. If that's how everybody thought of me, well, it could be worse I guessed.

 

 

INTERLUDE

 

Jill was doing homework at her desk while Steve/Stephanie was at the library when she was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. She was surprised to see Brenda there. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.

"Sure," said Jill totally surprised to see that it was Brenda, and alone at that. Brenda was never seen when not in the company of Sharon and hardly ever talked to anybody else. She was the most timid person that Jill had ever met. Jill moved over and sat on her bed and motioned for Brenda to do the same. "What's on your mind?"

"Well," Brenda didn't seem to know where to start. "I was just wondering if it would be alright if I talked with Stephanie sometime?"

"Talk with Stephanie? Of course you can talk to him, anytime you want." Jill was so confused by the question she really didn't know what to make of it.

"Well, it's just that…I mean…well…I saw you go out on a date with someone else last night and…well, I didn't know if you and he were…"

Jill almost laughed. "No problem Brenda. Stephanie is not a boyfriend, he's more like, how shall it say it…I know, he's my 'project'. I'm not dating him. I'm just trying to see how girlish I can make him. Why should it matter though?"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to get in the way if you and he were, well, you know. Besides, I have a really big problem around men, but when Stephanie is dressed like a girl, it doesn't seem to bother me as much." Then she suddenly got an excited look in her eyes. "Did you see me last week when you first dressed him up? He was sitting in the living room talking to Mark and I walked over to him and told him to put his legs together. You don't think it was too much, do you?" Jill was flabbergasted. Brenda had said it like it was the most outrageous thing a person could ever do.

"Too much? Of course not. Brenda, I don't understand, you said you have a problem around men. What is it?"

Brenda suddenly looked agitated and nervous. "I gotta go," she said getting up and heading for the door.

"Brenda, wait! Please talk to me! Please tell me what's wrong. What's going on? Please sit down again." Brenda looked very uncertain, but walked over and sat down looking at the floor. "Brenda, please, talk to me."

"I don't know. It's hard."

"Please?"

There was something very dark about the way Brenda looked. That was the only way she could describe the girl as Jill looked at her. The word troubled couldn't even begin to explain the vibes she felt coming from her.

Finally, Brenda opened her mouth. "Men…hurt me," was all she said.

"They hurt you? How?"

"They've always hurt me."

"How, Brenda? What do you mean?"

"First it was my father. He used to get drunk and beat Mom and me up all the time, real bad. Then later, instead of raping my mother when he was done, he started on me instead."

"Are you saying that your father raped you?"

"Um hmm, lots of times. He was so smelly and drunk and big and he just hit me and threw me around. Then he'd tear my clothes off and have at me." She looked up with a look of almost triumph in her tear streaked eyes. "The best day of my life was the day I heard he ran his truck into another truck and died!"

Jill wasn't sure what she could say. Brenda was in tears. "Brenda, he's gone now. You've survived. You don't have to be afraid of him anymore."

"There's more." Brenda said simply.

"More?" Jill asked astonished. What more could there possibly be.

"When I was a senior in high school, a friend of mine and me were walking home from school together. A group of guys we had never seen before grabbed us, dragged us into the woods and raped us." At this point, Brenda was crying so hard that Jill just reached over and pulled her against her so she could hold the girl. "They beat us and stripped us and put tape over our mouths and taped our arms behind our backs and then they all raped us. They were dirty and smelly and foul and evil. And when they were done, they just left us there. It was the next day before anyone found us."

No wonder she was so shy and of course she would have a problem with men. "Did they catch the guys?" she asked.

"No, the police looked, but they couldn't find them. We heard that they were suspected in several other rapes too."

"I'm glad you told me," Jill said trying to comfort her. She sat holding her till Brenda's tears finally started to subside and she could sit up again.

"I'm sorry," Brenda said.

"Brenda, you have nothing to be sorry about. Thank you for telling me. I don't know what I would have done if it were me." Then she had another idea. "Hey, when you're ready to talk to Stephanie, would you like it if I were there with you?"

Brenda though for a minute then said, "Yeah, it might help. Sharon keeps telling me that I need to try to do things by myself again, but it's hard, especially around men."

"You know something else?" Jill said thinking of something that might put Brenda more at ease about Steve. "We fixed Stephanie so that he can't use his penis for anything other that to pee with, unless we let him."

"What do you mean?" asked Brenda with a confused look on her face.

"We locked a cock restraint on him the first night he was here. He can't get it off, and it won't allow him to get aroused at all."

"You're kidding? What did he say about that?"

"He doesn't really like it, but we're not giving him any choice in the matter." Brenda almost giggled. At least it was a spark of life. "You just let me know when you want to talk, or if you feel like it, just do it yourself. You don't really need me. I'll just be there if you want."

"Ok. Thanks," Brenda said with more of a smile on her face. "I gotta go." Then she got up and headed toward the door but turned and stopped just before she went out. "You won't tell anybody about what I said, will you?"

"Not if you don't want me to." Jill answered sincerely. "My lips are sealed."

A hint of a smile showed on Brenda face. "He really has some kind of restraint on his cock, and he can't get it off?"

"Yep," Jill answered almost proudly," then watched as Brenda left and closed the door behind her. Jill had to put her homework away for another time. There was no way to think about school work after Brenda's little visit.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

On Monday afternoon, just after her last class of the day, Jill's cell phone rang again. "Hello," she said after pulling it out of her purse.

"Hi Jill, this is Ms. Carter. I was just wondering how things were going with you and Steve?"

"Well, actually I think things are going fairly well now." Jill answered. "I have to admit though that I almost blew it this weekend and I think we came close to losing him, but it all seems to have worked out." Then Jill proceeded to catch Ms. Carter up on everything that had happened over the weekend. Finally she added "I think though that maybe it was all for the best, because he seems to be much more willing to follow my directions now."

"Sometimes a good beating is necessary," Ms. Carter said, but you have to be very careful. "Remember, it's only been one week and this is not something that he wants. Not yet anyway. Getting him to want it is part of your job. And that reminds me of something else. Jill, what does he call you?"

"Call me, what do you mean."

"I mean, does he refer to you in any special way? For instance, I require all my subs to refer to me as Mistress Carter whenever they talk to me or even talk about me. It's a sign of respect and I think that something like that would help Steve to associate you with the respect he needs to be showing you."

"I don't know if I really want to be called Mistress. I'll have to think about that. But you might be right, maybe he should refer to me in some special way."

"It doesn't have to be 'Mistress,' it can be anything special that you want. I'll just leave that up to you. By the way, I was walking around the school today and did I happen to see him wearing some lovely new shoes to class?"

"You sure did," answered Jill enthusiastically. "Did you see his nail polish too?"

"No, I didn't get that close, but I did notice that he was with a group of other kids who seemed to accept him quite well. I was very glad to see that."

"Yeah, they were probably his study group. There's a group of about four of them that have a bunch of classes together. I think they're relying on Steve to help them since we're making sure that he knows all the answers."

"Wonderful," said Ms. Carter. "May I ask what you're planning next for him?"

"I really don't know," said Jill. "I've got to tell you though that I stood out in the hallway earlier today and just watched him talking to his friends. And he looked somehow a bit different even from a distance. Maybe it was his shoes and the way he stands and walks in them that made the difference. I'm not sure, but I just looked at him and thought that's my project. I made him wear those shoes. He's becoming what I want him to be. And it made me feel really good."

"I know exactly what you mean. I think you're definitely starting to understand a bit more of what it's all about."

"Yeah, I think so. As to what's next, I don't know. I want something visible, but I know I have to go slow. I was thinking I want to do more with his shape, but I'm not sure how. I guess a bra will be in order, but should I really give him tit's this soon? And I wish I could find a way to make his hips and backside a bit bigger. It's a lot to think about."

"As you said, you do need to go slowly. This isn't easy on him and small changes are much easier for him to accept than big ones. Just keep me informed and let me know if you need any more advice."

"Ok," said Jill. "Thanks for everything. Bye."

As Jill walked home she had a few new things to think about. She didn't really like the connotations attached to the word Mistress, but she also knew that Ms. Carter was right. She just needed a new way for Steve to refer to her that signified respect.

That evening she was watching TV for a few minutes before going to bed. In the show, a little girl walked up to the young woman that was babysitting for her and addressed her as Miss Julie. It was so sweetly done that it touched Jill and instantly she knew that she had the answer to her dilemma, she would have Steve refer to her as Miss Jill from then on. She went to bed with a smile on her face that night.

  

  

  

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