Girlie School Uniforms

by KaraLynn

 

Dr. Martha A. Miller, PHD. ,Behavior and Family Therapist, read the sign on the office door. Mrs. Helen Roberts was returning to this office after a visit last week. Today her son Sam was also with her. Helen had been recommended to Dr. Miller by Helen's neighbor, Mrs. Andrea Harris. Several weeks ago, Helen and Andrea met for their semi weekly chat at the coffee shop

"So, how are your kids, Sam and Sarah, doing? Are you still having a problem with Sam?" asked Andrea.

"Yes, it's the same old story. Sam is having trouble at school. I met with his teachers last week and they told me of his problems with most of the subjects he is taking and they described his continual behavior problems with both boys and girls in his class. I've once again heard that he is a very bright student, but doesn't apply himself. I know that's true and I think both his academic and social problems are caused by a lack of effort. He acts out sometimes to avoid having to focus his attention on his school work. The minute he comes home from school, he changes out of his uniform shirt and slacks and heads outside with his friends. If only we could find a way to keep him on track. I'm sure that once he develops some better habits he'll be more successful in school. His sister Sarah comes home and immediately sits down and spends several hours on her assignments. She doesn't even stop to change out of her uniform. Sam is a year older than Sarah, but they are about the same height and have similar features. They have been mistaken for twins, but they are not alike in many other ways. Since the divorce, I am raising them by myself. I've tried to get Sam to follow her example, but we end up constantly battling and this aggravates everyone."

"I've been through similar situations with my two older kids and I sympathize with you. It took some time for them to realize that time spent on study and homework would help improve their grades and when their grades improved, our sense of a healthy family improved. I ran into Mary Lawlor last week and she told me about a psychologist that has helped her son focus on his school work and improve his grades. In fact, Mary says she also has benefited and improved her own self image by scheduling some sessions with Dr. Miller herself. "

"Wow, this doctor sounds, like a miracle worker. What's her secret and did your get her phone number?"

"Yes, I wrote down the number for you. You can call to set up an initial appointment where you can come in and discuss if this type of program could be of benefit to you and you son. From what I understand you talk through the problems and she uses relaxation techniques to help the person focus on the problem and to become more open to the suggestion to change their behavior. Mary says that on the first visit you meet with the doctor yourself and if both of you agree to it, you set up another appointment with your son. "

"I'm definitely going to call tomorrow. We've got to find something to help Sam change his behavior and I've run out of ideas."

"Sounds, like a good idea. Let's finish our coffee. I know there is a major sale going on at the Beckets Dept. store. I know that you love sales."

Two days later, Helen was in Dr. Miller's office for their initial conference. Dr. Miller was personable and appeared to have a natural ability to make people comfortable. This is a very useful trait for someone in the therapy business. Helen explained her problem and told the doctor about Sam's behavior. Dr. Miller stated that she had done a lot of work with students in helping them become more focused and responsible for their own actions. She described several cases that were somewhat similar to Sam's. No names were mentioned of course, but one case seemed similar to what Mary Lawlor's son had gone through. Dr Miller would meet with Helen and her son and they would discuss what is his current behavior, how it is not productive and beneficial, and then they would together develop a plan to improve his life by deciding on what can be changed at home and at school. Dr. Miller also discussed how she uses relaxation and focusing techniques as an aid to strengthening the changes in behavior. Helen was very impressed with Dr. Miller's explanations and agreed to bring Sam in for an appointment the following week.

Dr. Miller welcomed Mrs. Roberts and her son Sam into her inner office. "It's nice to meet you again, Mrs. Roberts, and welcome Sam. Sit down and let's see how we three can come up with a plan that will make you, your mom and your teachers very pleased."

They discussed what Sam's current difficulties were and why he continued to run into trouble. Dr. Miller made everyone relax through her calming manner and pleasant, but powerful personality. They eventually agreed that Sam knew he was not doing well at school and at home and although he wanted to do better, he didn't see how he could do anything to change it. His only response was to increase his poor behavior but by doing so, he prevented anyone from getting close enough to help him with his real problems. He was tired of being the troublemaker and would really like to improve his grades and improve his relationships with his teachers, other students and his family.

"I really would like to change and I'm willing to listen and do what I can to change starting today."

This was a breakthrough and they got to work on some suggestions that may help Sam at school.

"Now Sam, I'd like to show you some techniques of relaxation and focusing that will help you strengthen your positive thoughts and hopefully help you accomplish your goals better."

They moved over to two comfortable chairs in the corner of the office. Mrs. Roberts remained at the desk

"The techniques I'm going to show you are similar to the techniques used in meditation. Your mind has a conscious part that processes your thoughts and deals with what it sees in front of you. There is another part called the subconscious that takes care of actions and reactions that you do automatically. It also works in the background with your conscious mind and it can access large amounts of information and memories and help you to process, plan and solve problems. The subconscious controls your imagination and creativity. It regulates your senses and your emotional feelings."

"You mean you're going to hypnotize me and make me go to sleep? I saw someone do that on TV and he made the person do some silly things. I don't want that to happen to me."

"Believe me, that is not going to happen. Actually you will not be sleeping. In fact, you will be alert at all times. But in this relaxed state, similar to when you are between sleeping and waking up, you'll be able to tune out most everything else and focus strongly on what you want to accomplish. You will be open to suggestions and with such increased concentration, your suggestions can become reality."

"But I'm the one with the need to change. I want to make my own decisions and not be controlled by you."

"You are exactly right. You can't be made to do anything you don't want to do. You are in complete control. I am just a facilitator, a helper, to assist you. You will tune out your doubts and fears and you will focus on how you would like your life to change. In fact, if I did try to take control, your own mind would take over and you would come out of the relaxed state. If at any time, you are not comfortable with the process, we will stop and try to deal with it. Let's begin."

The doctor dimmed the lights and turned on some soft background music. She began to talk in a soft calming voice and asked him to listen to her words and to become as comfortable and relaxed as possible. In some ways she said this was like an intense game of "pretend". She went through relaxation exercises to relax his arms and his upper body. She asked him to pretend he was so relaxed that he was weightless. After sometime, he began to feel a sense of calm and started to focus on the doctor's words.

"What you need to do is to replace negative behavior and habits with positive behavior and productive patterns. You know that you will be more successful in school by improving your concentration and by improved interactions with your teachers and fellow students. You know that spending more time with your homework and taking advantage of time for additional study will be rewarded by an improvement in your grades. Once your grades improve, you know that your mom will be pleased and you yourself will have a great sense of accomplishment."

"One of the difficulties we discussed was your lack of time spent on assignments at home. I know that you have a study area set up at home and you wish to change your behavior so that you begin studying soon after you arrive home and stay with it for at least an hour. You need to get an image of what it will be like and to lock this idea in your mind. I want you to see yourself coming home and studying. You need to get a clear picture in your mind. Visualize what is in the room. Describe to me what you see. This image can be used as a focus point and keep you on track."

"Well, I see my sister sitting across from me at her desk. She is wearing her uniform blouse and skirt. She is very organized and very intense when she studies. I would like to be like her because she is very committed and disciplined. She does very well in school and is well liked by everyone. I know I need to get more involved in school activities and I need to participate in class and to do the best I can."

"Is there something else that you see that could be used as a centering thought?"

"Like I said, Sarah is very intense. She does have a little habit that I see when she is really involved in her work. She crosses her one leg over the other knee and with her heel of her foot out of her shoe, she rocks the shoe back and forth on the toes inside. I can see her knee high socks and I can see the shoe rocking.

This always seemed to be a signal that she was really concentrating. Seeing my sister working across from me would be a strong image that I could focus on and I would like to study like she does because I see how successful she is at home and at school."

They went on to review some other points that needed Sam's attention and after about45 minutes, Dr Miller and Sam had completed the session.

"I think we had a good start today. Remember that you are in charge, you can make it happen. You know what you have to do and you know that you will be rewarded in many ways by being successful"

Sam and his mother were very encouraged by what they had started today. Mrs. Roberts made an appointment to meet in two months but she placed a call to Dr. Miller three weeks later.

"The first week I really noticed a change in Sam's attitude. Every day he would sit down and spend a large amount of time studying with his sister Sarah sitting across from him. I also noticed he had a more cheerful attitude toward others. The second week, Sarah had to go to dance lessons and stay for cheerleading practice after school. The first day she was not home, Sam fell into his old habits and was out the door skipped his homework and hung out with his friends. I talked with him that night and he agreed that he should have stayed working but he said without Sarah there he lost his concentration. Knowing that she would not be there again the next day, we came up with a plan. I would place Sarah's extra uniform skirt and blouse on hangers and place them at her desk across form Sam. We hoped that this might be a substitute for the focusing behavior that we had set up at your office. Well, when I returned after picking up Sarah the next afternoon, Sam was sitting working at the table but, to our surprise, he was wearing the skirt and blouse. I did not know what to say so I kept quiet. When he was finished, he changed back into his after school clothes and neatly hung up the skirt and blouse. I finally decided to talk with him later that evening and I asked if he had an explanation for wearing the clothes"

Sam answered, "When I got home, I went to my work area and saw the uniform. I know that I need to spend time studying and I just felt that I could concentrate better and be more relaxed wearing it so I took off my shirt and pants and put on the uniform. I left on my own shoes and socks. I know that I would not to try to leave and go outside dressed like that. It seemed to work, I felt good about staying on task and when I finished, I carefully hung up the uniform."

"I see. I have to ask if this means that you want to dress all the time and if this means you would like to be treated as a girl when you do this?"

"Oh no, there was something in the back of my mind that kept telling me that this was what I needed to do to stay focused. It was just something that I thought would help. It appears that it did, but I don't want to dress as a girl all the time and I don't want to become a girl. I am happy with who I am."

"I thought that this made sense. I wanted to try something the next time Sarah was not going to be there. I left the skirt and blouse and this time I included a pair of socks and a pair of Sarah's school shoes. When we arrived home, there was Sam, hard at work and he even had adopted Sarah's shoe balancing habit as a means of concentration. Tell me doctor, should we continue with this or should we stop it?"

"I think that Sam has transferred his focusing mechanism from seeing Sarah to seeing Sarah's uniform. It appears that in his mind, the most effective way to realize this focus was to wear the uniform. From his remarks, it looks like this is not a case of him wanting to actually become a girl but only his mind adapting to a new situation. Let's give this some time. If you and Sam think this is not appropriate, then we'll meet and use the relaxation and suggestion techniques to alter his responses as necessary. In any case, our appointment is still on for next month and feel free to call again if there are other issues."

A month has passed and Mrs. Roberts and Sam met in Dr. Miller's office. Sam had shown improvement in all areas. His grades had all gone up. His behavior towards other students and teachers had drastically changed. He now had a sense of accomplishment and saw that the extra time he spent is study and review was paying off. He didn't need to hide behind a negative attitude. He was becoming more confident every day. Mrs. Roberts and the doctor discussed Sam's dressing situation. He continued to wear the uniform when his sister Sarah wasn't there and it seemed to have a calming influence on him. Sam's sister Sarah was at first angry that he was wearing her things, but when she saw what it did for Sam's confidence and concentration, she agreed to go along. Mrs. Roberts suggested that Sam get a set of uniform clothes of his own so he wouldn't have to borrow them any more. She had a shopping trip planned soon. Sam and the doctor talked for a while and Sam reported on his success. The doctor mentioned that if the wearing of the clothing was a problem, they could find another way to help Sam stay motivated. Sam said things seemed to be working out fine this way and they agreed to continue with this program and to meet in two months to check on his progress. The only problem was when the weekend or a holiday occurred. Sam knew that he should be doing extra work to catch up but he seemed unwilling to spend his free time in study. Sarah had a suggestion that Mrs. Roberts told the doctor about that might help Sam to do some weekend study. She told her she would discuss it with Sam later that day. They all agreed that things had definitely turned toward the better and all were sure with a little extra effort this would continue.

Later that evening Sam, Sarah and their mom were in the living room. Sarah explained her plan.

"As you know I've had dance lessons every Saturday at The McNamara School of Dance. Several of the girls have been coming early several hours before the lesson to meet as a study group. We help each other out with problems and we do some common research on various topics that we could all use in some way in our various classes. The girls were from various schools in the community, some public and some private. The size of the group has been increasing because many other girls saw that it was helping everyone and it was fun. Mrs. Lender, the head dance teacher also approved of this. She purchased some used tables, chairs and desks from the local library when the library was remodeled to add some computer internet stations. She set aside room in one of the auxiliary dance studios. One benefit for Mrs. Lender was that when she was deciding on costumes for the recitals, she would bring in the costume supplier and we would be willing models. The costume representative was so pleased with this that she set up arrangements with the local hair stylists and makeup consultants and they would help to coordinate hairstyles, makeup and the costumes. One of the girl's mothers is an executive at Beckets Dept. Store and she suggested that our group might be interested in doing some modeling of the newest girls' fashions or act as consultants for their buyers. We would get to try on clothes as well as get discounts at the store and have access to the stores cosmeticians and beauty shop. A few months ago, Katie's mother thought it would be a good idea if her two sons Justin and Donald were to be part of the study group. Katie told her that the group was for girls only, but Katie's mom spoke to Mrs. Lender and the dance teacher said that the boys should be allowed in. We girls were upset about it but we had a plan that we kept to ourselves. As long as they were joining the girls group we would treat them like girls and expect them to act like girls. Originally the boys were against this but we know how to use our powers of charm and persuasion to get them to see it our way. Since they did benefit from the study and research projects that we did together their grades were improving and their mother and teachers were pleased. They didn't participate in the costumes or fashion consultations, but some of the girls think it would be interesting if they were involved in this in the future. After all, they are a part of the group. Another boy, Kyle, was added since then. The girls know this might be an embarrassing situation for the boys so we promised not to tell anyone about this, unless the guys gave us their permission. They said it was all right to tell you. So, I'm suggesting that Sam become a member of the Saturday morning McNamara Girls Study Group. What do you think about that?"

After some discussion, Sam agreed to give it a try starting the next week. Sam was familiar with most of the girls in the group and there were a couple that he had small crushes on. He would never tell them this to their faces, but he saw this as a chance to meet them, to talk with them and generally to be around them. He asked Sarah to tell him what topics they were currently researching. One of them involved the differences in behavior from a gender perspective and another was the benefits or disadvantages of uniforms in schools. They also planned to review how to balance chemical reaction equations for chemistry class. She told them that to put some fun in their studying days, they sometimes had a theme for the day. It might involve dressing or acting in a certain way. It might involve performing a skit or bringing some refreshments.

"I asked mom to go down stairs so I could fill you in on the study group. The new members are known as the new kids and the full members are known as the regular girls, or regulars. The new kids have to earn their way to the regular group. You must come early on Saturday and set up the tables and chairs. You must be willing to follow our directions. We will not be mean to you or ask you to do anything wrong, but we need to see that you are sincere in your willingness to be part of the group. You earn points for carrying out some tasks and for successfully completing some quizzes. You need 150 points to become a regular. This should be fun for everyone. By the way, you needed a regular to sponsor you. Claire has agreed to be your sponsor. Even though you never said it, I could tell that you like her by the way you act when she is around. Now one of the requirements if that you may be asked to wear an item of clothing each week. Claire gave me a pair of anklet socks for you to wear Saturday. Be sure to put them on before you go. There will be an inspection first thing in the morning. Also I thought I'd let you know that the school uniform discussion was set for Saturday."

Sam thought to himself that this might be the beginning of an interesting experience. He arrived early on Saturday morning. The other three new kids were there. He was familiar with all three of them, but they were not part of his regular circle of friends. They set up the chairs and tables in the auxiliary dance studio. The girls started to come in. Some of them were carrying large garment bags. They could not see what was inside of them. Claire immediately came up to Sam and asked to see the socks. Sam rolled up his pants legs and showed them. Claire smiled at him and said that he passed inspection. This was to be only the first of several inspections that day. The other boys were wearing tee shirts from their sponsors. With the common styles that both males and females wore only a close observer would notice the difference.

Janice was the leader of the group this month. They took turns sharing the role. She began to explain what as planned.

"Welcome to the study group and welcome to our newest new kid, Sam. As you know, we are working on a social studies project that is also part of a report for some of our student council's committee work. The issue involves the purposes and reasoning for having school uniforms. Members of our group come from four local schools. Jessica, Krystal, Mandi, and Lisa F. attend the public school, William Henry Harrison. Janice, Claire, Stephanie, Melissa, Tabitha and Rachel attend St. Marys, an all girl parochial school. Students at Bishop Lydon, a coed school are Julie, Lisa P, Kyle and Donald. The Barrington Academy, a private prep school was only for females but last year became coed. Sam, Sarah, Justin, Erin and Sommer attend there. We all have to wear uniforms so you see that this is an issue for all of us. To start it off, we decided it would be a good idea if we saw and discussed the style and type of uniforms that are worn during the year. We also decided that the new kids would each wear the uniforms for each of the schools. We brought two changes for each of the uniforms worn. Your sponsors will take you to the changing rooms and assist you as necessary. "

Donald and Justin followed their sponsors, Julie and Mandi. Kyle came in with Rachael. Claire was smiling at Sam as they entered the dressing room. She was to speak for the other girls.

"You'll notice that there is a set of white cotton camisoles and panties for each of you still in their packages.

Most of the schools require a simple white T shirt or camisole under your blouses or shirts. This is how you will be dressed for your first change. Donald will be wearing the Barrington uniform supplied by Erin. Justin will be dressed in The Harrison uniform provided by Mandi. Kyle will be in the St. Mary's skirt and top brought by Rachael. Sam will be dressed in the Lydon uniform that Julie supplied. The uniforms are in the marked garment bags. We'll step outside while you ladies get yourselves ready. In a few minutes we'll return to help you with your hair and makeup and to help you select your shoes. By the way, this activity can earn you 15 points towards meeting your goal to become a regular. "

Sam's Lydon uniform was a blue green plaid pleated skirt with a pair of navy bike shorts underneath. The shirt was a white polo shirt purchased from the Lands End catalogue. There was a pair of forest green cable knit knee high socks.

The St. Marys outfit was a khaki box pleated skirt and a short sleeved white buttoned down collared oxford cloth shirt that was to be tucked in. There was a pair of white crew style socks that came well above Kyle's ankles.

Justin put on the basic Harrison girls uniform. The skirt for Harrison was a Campbell plaid, blue green and black. The top was a forest green collared polo shirt. White tights were worn covering the legs.

Donald's uniform from Barrington included a maroon gray plaid skirt in a classic pleated style with back elastic and a side zipper and button. The socks were burgundy flat knit knee high socks. The shirt was a plain white pullover turtle neck.

After they had finished, the girls checked back in. Sam's shoes were a cool klunky heeled Mary Jane shoe. Donald had a pair of brown loafers with a one inch heel. A pair of laced up plain toe black school shoes were selected for Kyle. Justin was given a pair of Bass Suede/Navy Saddle shoes.

 

They girls sat each of them down and brushed and combed their hair into girlish styles. Those with longer hair were given a scrunchie and those with shorter hair were given a hair band that matched their uniforms. Translucent powder was brushed on their faces with a big fluffy brush and a touch of clear lip gloss was applied to their lips. Their nails were coated with a clear polish. Each was given a spritz of Ralph fragrance from Ralph Lauren before they were brought out. This last bit of girly fragrance added to their embarrassment, but at this stage they clearly were in no position to argue. Claire had them walk back and forth across the room in their new outfits. They had to admit that there was something different about thee way their skirts freely brushed against their legs. Claire reminded them to take smaller steps, to use their hips more and to swing their arms slightly outward as they walked. The knees and feet are straight ahead but the feet are turned in the tiniest bit. Boys walk from their legs, girls walk from their hips.

The other girls applauded as the new models made their way into the room. The four were inspected and the girls agreed that they all passed.

Claire spoke, "I'm glad that you passed. Now we're going to go back and make a few changes to your wardrobe. When we return, you're going to be checked for dress code violations. This time we get to be the dress code police."

The four were lead back into the next room. Sam was told to remove his skirt and top. Waiting for him was a long sleeved blouse with a pretty peter pan collar. He also put on a short half slip with lace at the hem. Claire took her younger sister's plaid uniform jumper out of the garment bag. It was lined front and back with taffeta and it slid on smoothly. The extra long zipper in the back also made it easy to put on. It was a polyester/ rayon blend and had two sewn in pleats. It was very short and most of his legs were showing. A cotton candy pink polish was applied to Sam's nails. A large white hair bow was placed on top of his head and two teddy bear barrettes were slid on the sides of his hair. Short lacy anklets and a pair of Mary Janes were added.

Julie helped Donald out of the turtle neck and had him put on a black t shirt with a rock band logo on it. Over this he wore a white polo shirt with the Barrington school logo on it. The top three buttons were opened, showing the black tee underneath. She helped him let his skirt slide down away from his waist and more towards where his hips would be. His socks were replaced with a pair of short sport socks.

Mandi rolled up the waistband of Justin's skirt. It was now quite short. His polo short was no longer tucked in. She sprayed several streaks of washable purple highlights in his hair. A coat of really red lipstick was applied.

Kyle's skirt was also rolled up. The white cotton oxford shirt was replaced by a pink top with spaghetti straps. His crew socks were removed and he was now wearing a pair of fashionable athletic flip flops.

They were again brought out for inspection, but before they were brought out Sam spoke to the other new kids. "I guess I got my wish of getting to be close to the other girls, but I never thought this would be the way. I really am embarrassed, but knowing that you three are also in it with me is some help."

Donald spoke. "Justin and I have been doing this the longest. The extra practice and tutoring we get has helped us with our school work. We have made a lot of friends with many of the girls. I don't think that any of them even knew that we existed before all this. Most of them treat us fairly. But we have had many strange discussions and tasks to do, but this is the first time we had to be completely dressed up. I hope it doesn't happen too many times. Well, I guess its show time again"

The girls all giggled as they noticed there were going to be a lot of dress code violations. Kyle was first. Melissa from St. Mary's was the inspector." Well, Kyle, this will never do. Skirts may not be rolled up at the waist. The standard is that the skirt length is to be no shorter than three inches above the top of the knee. Clearly you are in violation. The spaghetti strap top is definitely inappropriate for the educational setting. Appropriate tops are the oxford shirt, a polo shirt or a turtle neck, all in white from the school uniform supplier. While we're at it, let me list some of the other inappropriate tops. They make up most of my outside school wardrobe but are not allowed in school. They are spaghetti tops, pajama tops, crop tops, tank tops, halter tops, tube tops, midriff tops, or one shoulder tops. Also, no sundresses allowed. Flip flops? You've got to be kidding. You need a pair of sensible leather school shoes and proper socks or tights. This is not the beach, missy. "

Lisa F. from Harrison was now ready for Justin. "Would you look at the length of that skirt? That is unacceptable. The length must be no more than four inches above a bent knee. The shirt must be always tucked in because when it is not, your midriff might be exposed when you raise your hand or you bend or reach for something like a book in your locker. We used to get the smaller size shirts from Gap for Kids, because they fit tighter and shorter. This year they are not on the approved list. By the way, although I didn't see any, no other body piercings are allowed other than one small hole on each ear lobe. Now for your hair, no unnatural hair coloring or highlights, the purple must go. Young lady, you will remove the red lipstick, only clear lip gloss is allowed. Here are some tissues and makeup remover."

Erin was ready for Donald. "That's a nice Barrington polo with the school logo, but only the top button may be opened. Even with it buttoned, you can clearly see the black t shirt underneath it, definitely not part of the dress code. Skirts are to be worn at the waist and not at the hips. It is inappropriate for your underwear to be showing when you are sitting down, raising a hand or bending, even if your shirt is tucked in. Although the uniform is made of washable polyester/ cotton, you may want to occasionally take it to the dry cleaners because it helps to sharpen the pleats. Socks must be clearly visible above the ankle. Those are too short. Cotton/nylon/spandex cable knit tights are an option in white or burgundy.

Sam was last to be inspected by Lisa P. "Well Sam, you look very precious as the little school girl. We all remember when we had to wear jumpers when we were younger. I can't forget that as I moved up in grades, I couldn't wait to wear cute skirts like the older girls did. I guess you wanted to do the opposite. Again, the length of the jumper is not acceptable. There is a rule about the length being the width of a dollar bill ( about 2 ½ inches) above the knee. It is recommended for modesty and comfort and because of the running, jumping, and twirling you will be doing, you should be wearing your navy gym shorts or cotton/Lycra bike shorts under your jumper. Very girly lacy anklets you have on, but this is not some fancy birthday party, you're in school. I do like the shiny Mary Janes. Pink polish on those nails? You know that only clear polish is accepted. The hair bow is nice but you can't have the bear barrettes in your hair."

"We are done with the inspections. Let's return to the study area. Before we summarize the pros and cons of mandatory school uniforms", said Janice, "I'd like to mention some of the consequences of uniform violations. In some cases you are allowed to make necessary adjustments to meet the dress code. Some of our schools have extra skirts, blouses and socks that you can rent for the rest of the day for a small donation to charity. This is only allowed for the first offense. Repeated violations lead to parent's notes and phone calls, dean's discipline referrals, detentions, meetings with parents and possible suspensions. Don't worry, since this was just a demonstration, you won't have any detention time to serve. Now let's hear the summaries. Tabitha will speak first in favor of mandatory school uniforms. "

"Thank you. When I get up in the morning, the clothes that I will wear are already picked out for me. I don't have to waste time deciding what to wear and how the others might react to it. There is less distractions when I don't have to focus on fashion. The focus is on learning and responsibility. The students don't have to worry if they cannot afford the latest trends in clothes and sometimes being teased about being different in what the might be wearing. The uniform can be used to promote an image of pride both in school and as we travel back and forth from home. Outside of school, I have the opportunity to wear whatever I want, That is, unless my parents want to complain, but I think you express your individuality by what you say and do and not by how you are dressed. As a minor point, the uniforms are relatively inexpensive and fairly easy to maintain and keep clean. Now, Jessica will speak for those against school uniforms."

"Thanks, Tabitha. Once again, they are trying to tell us what to do. How can I express my individual personality I must be dressed like everyone else? How come I am not given the opportunity to show off all the awesome clothes that I have? I spend I lot of time researching the fashion magazines and watch all the fashion shows on cable. Just because my parents have money, does that mean I can't spend it on fashion? Everybody has there own style and your appearance is one way you can show the kind of person you are. We should be celebrating the differences and not trying to be like everyone else. They also want to control our shoes, hair and makeup. If we do have to wear uniforms, can't we come up with something that is more stylish?"

"Thank you Jessica and Tabitha. Thanks you Sam, Justin, Kyle and Donald. All four of you have earned the fifteen points for this activity. You may chose to stay in uniform for the rest of the day or you may change into the clothes you wore this morning. In any case, the camisole and panties are yours to keep. Before you four leave, pickup a copy of each of these magazines that the girls have left on the table, Seventeen, GirlsLife, and Teen. Read them carefully and write a two page summary of the fashion, makeup, hair and advice tips given in that issue. This assignment is worth 5 points and is due next week. Our dance lessons will be starting in about twenty minutes so our discussion on the differences between genders will continue next week. Those of you that need help with your chemistry can make arrangements for the special Wednesday after school tutoring session at Tabitha's house. Since you looked so cute in skirts today, we decided that everyone will wear skirts next week. You may bring the clothes with you and change here, but it is worth an extra five points if you wear it to the studio next week. No school uniform skirts allowed and you may not borrow a skirt from one of us. It is probably best if you buy a new skirt this week.

Finally, you know that St. Marys has a program called Shadow Day. A girl from another school is paired up with a current student and she follows her schedule throughout the whole school day. It gives her a chance to see what the school is like from the inside. I have the signed permission form for Sarah to shadow Claire. We have decided to substitute Sam for Sarah. Your mom has OKed it. Take good notes because you will give us all a report next week. It looks like your going to get a chance to wear your uniform again. You'll be attending gym class and changing clothes, and we suggest you wear the gym shorts under your skirt. We also bought you a TeenForm sports bra since we know you'll want to participate in the activities. My sister is a hairdresser so stop by my house tonight and she'll work her magic to create a style that you can brush out that will be very girly but also brush back to look like your other boyish self. "

The four changed out of their uniforms and placed everything into the proper garment bags. Sam wondered what other kinds of assignments they had.

Kyle answered, "Two weeks ago I had to give a report on how to plan a perfect sleepover party."

"I was given a Victoria's Secret shopping bag filled with girly bras. I had to identify them by name and explain how they were used in a girls wardrobe." said Justin.

"I had something similar but the bag was full of all kinds of panties." answered Donald.

Sam spoke, "Now they want us to buy some girls clothes. I don't know if I can handle this. What do you think?"

Donald replied, "Hey, I'm going to do it. I need to get those 150 points. My mom says that if I get them she may get me out of the group. In any case, if you do earn the points, you gain back the control and you are not forced to follow their instructions, it would then be voluntary on your part. We have discussed this before you joined and we realize that this might be our only way out, unless you can see another way."

"I don't, but I'll think about it. I'm not sure how I'm going to get that skirt though. Well we've got a week. See you next time."

Sam finally told his mother about the need for a skirt for the next session. She said that they may have to make a trip to the Teen/Junior store at the mall and see what they have. "You'll have to be with me because I have no idea what sizes to get or what styles would be best. I'll think of something to tell the salesgirls. We'll try to go at a time when there are not too many people around. I know that this is embarrassing to you. Late tomorrow afternoon is usually a slow time."

Sam and his mother were standing in front of Lerner's Teen and Junior Shop. She had him wear the camisole and panty set he received from the girls. She said it would help the clothes fit better with them underneath. The store was rather empty as she approached the young salesgirl. "Excuse me, but I really need your help with a last minute purchase. My niece is having a birthday and I usually buy her several outfits as a present. She usually comes with me to your shop and we spend some time trying on the latest fashions and making our selections. This year she can't be with me so I would like to surprise her with some skirts and other outfits. I don't know her sizes or what she would think would be good choices so here is my request. You are very well dressed and I can tell that you have a sense of fashion. I would really like your recommendations. I don't know her sizes. Now for the unusual part, My son has volunteered to assist us and try some of the clothes on because he is about the same size as his cousin. I am very grateful that he would do this, but he is a little embarrassed. Would you help us?"

The salesgirl, Mindy, smiled and answered "Thank you for the complements. I do consider myself very knowledgeable on the current fashion trends. I think that it is very brave and thoughtful that your son would care enough to help you. If you tell me what you might be looking for, I will put together some possible outfits. Let's check some of the sales racks also."

Sam's mother thanked her and they all walked over to the skirts section." I see four very current looks right here. This is a mini skirt with 4 pleats in front. It has a zippered back and belt loops. It is made of rayon and nylon spandex. The color is black. Here is a cord skirt with a zip fly and button closure. It has a satin tie at the waist and is cotton and spandex. It hits just above the knee and has an A-line shape. We'll try this one in white. Here's a Paris blue denim cheerleading skirt. It would be perfect for an outdoor activity. It has swingy cheerleader type pleats. It sits at the waist and has two front pockets. Now this is really lovely and perfect for a dressy occasion. A Rebecca Taylor pale pink silk miniskirt with a sketchy floral pattern and a flattering hemline. It has a slim elasticized waistband. Here's a knee length tweed skirt in dark brown. It is a straight fit with a banded waist and a side zipper closure. It is a wool/ nylon polyester blend. It is a perfect look for a business or formal type event. Let's find a few tops to go with them and we'll go back to the dressing rooms. I know of a pink long sleeve top with a lace appliqué on the front that would be perfect with the pink skirt. I also see a top that would go nicely with the denim skirt. "

They gathered the clothes and moved to the changing rooms at the back of the store. Sam changed out of his clothes and his mother selected the outfits for him to try on. Mindy smiled as she caught a glimpse of Sam in his cotton lingerie. Since Sam had only his gym shoes, they borrowed a pair of girl's flats to wear. With each change Sam had to come out of the changing room and face the bank of mirrors as the two females kept a running commentary on the fashions. They settled on the pink outfit, the denim skirt and top and the wool tweed skirt. They found a nice silk blouse to go with the skirt. The silk blouse was very tightly fitted and was somewhat transparent. Mindy suggested they might want to see if the lingerie underneath showed through. She brought in a TeenForm slightly padded Satin Bra to be worn underneath. They both agreed that the blouse would go well with that skirt. Sam's mother ended up purchasing the shoes as well as a pair of Hanes silk Reflections hosiery and the bra.

Sam changed into his clothes as Mindy and his mother completed the purchases. Mindy commented on how nice it was of Sam to assist his mother. She also said jokingly that Sam's mom might want to buy another set of the clothes for her son because he did make a cute girl. Sam blushed and Mindy said that she was only kidding.

They left the store and returned home. Sam thought that he was only going to get one skirt and was quite surprised that his wardrobe was getting larger. His mother agreed that she got a little carried away but really liked to shop. When his sister Sarah got home and saw the cute items, Sam's mother knew that she would have to make another shopping trip and purchase a few more outfits for Sarah.

The next week Sam arrived with a garment bag that held his newly purchased clothes. He didn't want to be seen coming to the studio with them on so he changed clothes there. His mother and sister had decided that the pink top and skirt would look so darling. The other three had worn their skirts to the study group. Sam had the cutest outfit of them all. The other girls all came in wearing various types of skirts and tops. Justin had a long black mid calf length skirt and a plaid sweater top. Kyle had on a long sleeved sweater and a skirt from Target. Donald was dressed in a striped top and a denim skirt from Old Navy.

Sam's Shadow Day report was the first item on the agenda. "Sarah and my mom helped me into the uniform and worked on my hair and applied some light makeup that morning. Claire's mother stopped by and picked me up in her car to drive me to the school. My mom had a strange smile on her face as she watched me from the front window. As I got into the car, Claire and her mom made me get out again. They said I needed to practice the art of sitting down in a short skirt. After several attempts, they were satisfied and we were on our way.

When we got to the school, Claire and I went to the main office. We signed in and presented the permission slip. I was given a name tag, a folder and a tee shirt with the St Marys logo on front and the words 'Girls Rule!' on the back. As we walked out of the office, I noticed a lot of friends greeting each other and the sound of laughing and the slamming of locker doors filling the halls. With our little talk last week, I was able to spot several violations of the dress code that day. We rushed into the homeroom as the bell rang. Homeroom started with the pledge of allegiance and the morning announcements. The first class was English and they were in the middle of a discussion on Shakespeare. I noticed the girls were not afraid to raise their hands and voice their opinions.

Math class was next. We spent the time working on solving equations.

Science was interesting. This was a lab day and it seemed strange to see all the girls wearing safety goggles as they were busy mixing chemicals and recording the reactions.

A test was scheduled that day in U.S. History. A few minutes were given at the start to review notes but I saw most of the girls giggling and sharing conversations rather than studying.

By this time we were ready for lunch. I was supplied with a pass for a free lunch. There were also a lot of vending machines and many girls brought their own lunches. I sat at the lunch table with Claire and her lunch group. It was interesting observing the social situation. Each of the different years had a different color skirt and it was obvious that most of the girls sat with those in their same class.

Study Hall followed Lunch. We checked out to the computer lab and I watched Claire check her emails.

In the French class it was fun trying to pronounce the French words that were on the board. We all responded after the teacher said a phrase. In this class, I noticed some of the girls were not listening and there was lot of note passing and off the subject conversations.

The last class of the day was P.E. Yes, Gym class. Claire had told me that since all the girls had to wear the same style uniforms, one way that some of them showed their individuality was by wearing something unique underneath. She told me not to stare, and while we were changing, I caught a few glimpses of a lot of lace, a lot of color and a lot of different styles. We started out with some aerobic exercises and then we went outside for some soccer drills. I got to be in goal for a while and blocked most of the shots. Claire did get a goal against me. I guess you wouldn't believe me if I told you I blocked it.

In all, it seemed that this all girl's school was positive in helping to focus on learning. Most of the girls seemed very confident and I saw that most were concerned about learning and not as concerned about their appearance. I noticed a lot of group work where the girls all helped each other."

It was now time to move on to the next topic, differences between the genders. The new kids were asked to describe what boys think of the behavior of girls.

Kyle spoke. "Having been around you the last few months, I would definitely say my opinions are changed, but this is what most boys would say. Girls' main concerns are about appearances and how others see them. This is obvious by the amount of time they spend in discussing clothes, hair, makeup, nails and jewelry. They are worried about their popularity and status in their groups. They become much too involved in maintaining friendships, setting up alliances and dealing with gossip. They are constantly talking, whether face to face, over the phone or through instant messaging. They are way too sensitive and emotional. Their voices can range from giggling sounds to high pitch whining and they like to manipulate others by causing a scene or crying. They spend a lot of time doodling on paper, writing their names one thousand times and filling the paper with stars, swirls, and smiley faces. Although they are not very good at sports, they are good at art, music and dance. "

Melissa was the leader this week. She answered, "It looks like you have described most of the stereotypes that apply to girls. I agree that some of us do act like that, but that is not typical of most of us. I could throw the male stereotypes back at you. You are loud, destructive and stubborn. You lack most social skills and value large groups over individuals. You would rather compete than cooperate. We have some research that hopefully will set you straight."

Julie continued. "I guess it is a combination of biology or genetics as well as how you are raised and what society expects of you. Girls are expected to be good students, very verbal and social and with caring emotions. Girls can be aggressive but they do it more with words than physical actions. They use the power of exclusion to show power in controlling their social status. Girls do put importance on what others think of them and some have low self perceptions. We want to be liked and can be very supportive and cooperative also. Tabitha will describe some of the basic personality types that often occur in a group of girls as well as some suggestions to bring out the best in each of us."

"All teams need captains and players. Teams also have a supporting cast around them. Close friends also have roles to play. It is hoped that our differences can compliment each other. Most of us have some of each of these traits at some time. Here are a few of the personalities.

First, the Boss or Controller. This girl is usually the most popular, She is charming, good looking, and forceful. She may also come from a wealthy family. In a bad way she can use her power to control and may weaken friendships to stay in control. What she needs to realize is that friendships also thrive on compromise and shared ideas. She may need to let others lead occasionally and learn to listen sometimes instead of giving advice.

Next is the Best friend or best bud. She models herself after the Boss and tries to be like her. This helps to make her feel popular. She holds back and you never get to see the real person inside. She needs to see that friends still like you if you express your own mind. The old motto, be yourself, would apply to her.

Another type is the Flexible floater. This girl moves easily from group to group. She has many friends and has some influence and is looked to for cool ideas and advice. She needs to use this influence in positive ways and to bring out the best in others and by helping them increase their confidence in dealing with others.

The Bystander is someone who wants to do what the group wants to do, but also has her own ideas of what is right. She is often caught in the middle because she can't makeup her mind. She has to see that everyone has something to offer and that friends share ideas together and can help each other.

Watch out for this one, Cute but Dangerous. This girl is very friendly and seems innocent. She gains your trust but uses this to collect information about others. She is the one that will pass on the gossip to those inside and outside the group. Be careful with what you say around her. At times, we all share information about our friends with others, but if this information can become harmful to anyone's reputation, think before you speak.

Occasionally, a group may become mean spirited and lose its purpose. You don't want anyone to become the Victim. This person is often setup to be teased and humiliated. She may remain part of the group but still feels isolated and alone. The friendship that a group can offer breaks down for this person. You need to seriously look at what has happened to your group that would allow this to occur.

I don't want this to sound like all girls are either controlling or under control. Most girls want to be caring, sympathetic and concerned about others. Remember, don't continue to deal in putdowns or to spread gossip. Building relationships is more important than tearing them down."

"Dance class will be starting soon. We'll pass out your assignments for next week. Sam, you'll need to pick up the Victoria Secret bag. You'll find your assignment inside."

Several months later, Sam's mother, Mrs. Roberts, ran into Mrs. Harris.

Mrs. Harris spoke. "So were you happy with Dr. Miller's work with you son? I hope it helped."

"Yes, it sure did. His grades are really improving and he gets along with everyone now much better. He's in a weekend study group that has helped him too. It's a little unusual approach but I can't complain if it is successful."

"Glad to hear that. Dr. Miller is wonderful. I have gone to her myself and through the relaxation and suggestion techniques I am working on improving my self confidence. I am really happy with it. My husband has also seen her based on my recommendation. He's a good man, but the way he was raised, the man is the powerful influence in the family. The woman is secondary. He has this attitude with the women at work also. The male is superior. Women are only there to assist him. They could never be in charge. He realizes that he might need to modify these beliefs so he has been going for a few sessions with Dr. Miller."

"Have you noticed any changes?"

"Oh, yes. It's really dramatic. In fact, I even got him to go fashion shopping with me several times. He would never do that in the past. Believe it or not, he has a good sense of what looks good on me. He actually helped me pick out this skirt and blouse. I playfully suggested that now he was into fashion, perhaps he would like to model some of my clothes. He did not think this was very funny and of course refused. I would like him to explore this side some more. His company has a big masquerade party every year and this year the theme is Turn About is Fair Play. The costume is to be the opposite of what you wear every day. I know that the women at his office would get a real kick out of seeing him as an efficient secretary in a cute skirt and silky blouse with heels and hose. I think, I'll call Dr. Miller and mention that he wants to explore his softer side. Perhaps she can make some suggestions that might move this along. Maybe she could suggest he go back in time. I wonder what he would look like dressed in a school uniform?"

"That sounds like a lot of fun. If you ever pull it off be sure to take some pictures. Next time I see you I've got quite a story about school uniforms. See you later and thanks again"

  

  

  

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