A Girl by Accident

by Jennifer White

  

It all started innocently enough. I never meant to do it, it just sort of happened. I got home from school, where I'm in the 10th grade. I put my book bag down on my desk, and noticed that mom had left the laundry basket on my bed. This was her signal that I was supposed to put the clothes away in my drawers, and bring down any dirty clothes I had.

So I put everything away, except when I came to the underwear, there was a problem. Mom had accidentally left one of Jody's panties in my pile. I held it in my hands, feeling the silky material. I was a typical 10th grade boy, so as you can imagine, my mind raced at the thought that I was holding panties in my hand. I had sex on the mind all the time, and I had wanted to get into a lot of girl's pants at school.

For some reason, I had an urge to try them on, to see how they felt. I locked my door, closed all the shades, and put them on. They were so different! Not rough or clingy like what I wore, but the smoothest, silkiest feeling, like I was wrapped in softness.

"Nick, are you in there? Why is your door locked!" said mom. I didn't know what to do, so I quickly pulled on my jeans, then went to unlock the door.

"Why are all your blinds closed? What were you up to? Wait, don't tell me. I don't think I want to know" she said.

I was so close to being busted! I was lucky she didn't see me. What would she have said?

"Come on, we're late. We're taking your father out to dinner tonight for his birthday. Don't you remember?"

"Oh yeah" I said.

She dragged me on out of the house, and we got in the car. With every step I took, I noticed the panties. Their silkiness against my skin. I felt so turned on! I couldn't explain it. And now I was wearing them in public! Without anybody knowing!

When we sat down and the waitress came out to serve us, all I could think of was the fact that I was wearing panties, just like her. Needless to say, I was excited all night. When we got home, I turned my stereo on loud, and masturbated to ease my tensions. It was the best it had been since the first time I ever made myself climax.

Instead of putting the panties back in Jody's room, I hid them in my closet.

* * *

 

It was only a few days later that I wore the panties again. And again, I got really excited. So for some reason, I decided to sneak into my sister's room. Nobody was home, so who would know? I dug through her underwear drawer, until I found her bras. If the panties made me that excited, I wondered what the bra would do. I took it back to my room, and tried it on.

That excited me even more, so I stuffed it with some of my socks, then put on a white T-shirt. You could clearly see the bra underneath, and it jutted out, like I had breasts. I almost came in my pants. I made myself climax again, then quickly took everything off and hid it back in my closet.

I felt shamed and embarrassed, but it was so exciting! I knew I was hooked, and would do it again tomorrow.

In fact, almost every day I would wear Jody's underthings. I even wore the panties to bed one night. But they were starting to smell from having been worn too many times. So I reluctantly put them in the wash. I waited a few days, then dug through Jody's drawers when I had a chance to find them, or a similar pair. Nobody would know a thing!

* * *

 

Some time passed, and I was still doing it. It was so exciting that I wanted to try to push the envelope, and do something more daring. So I waited for a good time when nobody else was home, and went into Jody's closet. I dug through all the things on hangers, until I found one of her blouses that might fit me. She didn't wear it too often (I didn't think), so she wouldn't notice it. And there was a red plaid skirt that she used to wear to school, but didn't anymore. I took that too, and went back to my room.

With the door locked, and dressed up in full female attire for the first time. It felt wonderful! When I was fully dressed, I laid on my bed like a girl does, and read a book. I slid forward a bit, and felt a warmth between my legs. I moved back and forth a couple of times, and bam! I climaxed.

I ran go get tissues to clean it all up. That was stupid of me! But for some reason, thinking of myself as a girl made me really turned on, and made me climax so easily! I wanted to be with a girl so much, but this was exciting too. I would just do both. If I could get Lynn to go out with me, I'd still do this in my spare time. Perhaps, I could get some of her panties too. Then I'd be wearing *her* clothes. Now *that* sounded really exciting to me!

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks, I kept dressing up. Sometimes with just the panties, but sometimes in full outfit. I stole a pair of pantyhose from the laundry room, and started wearing those too. The cotton crotch turned me on for some reason.

I tried on some of Jody's shoes, but they were too small. I found an old pair of mom's, and I could get them on with a struggle. But I was afraid to try makeup or anything. That would be too hard to get on and off. But I did take one of Jody's necklaces. The rings and bracelets were too small to fit on me. Too bad.

I had a couple of outfits now. I loved the one yellow floral dress, because it was such a soft material, and when I whirled around, it would swish against the pantyhose, and send shivers up and down my spine. I just loved it! It turned me on so much!

 

But one day, even in full dress, it didn't seem like enough. I wanted more! Nobody was home, so for the first time, I left my room dressed as a girl. I was *so* afraid that someone would look in the windows and see me! But I got into Jody's room safely, and took a couple of her books, and a magazine. Then I went back to my room. I had something to do now when I was dressed up like a girl.

I read her copies of 'Anne of Green Gables', 'Little Women' and 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'. I was so thrilled that I was reading *girls* books. I also read her fashion magazines, and was fascinated by all of the women's clothes, makeup, and accessories. I loved reading about girls, and wanted to know all there was to know about them.

 

One day I finished her copy of Cosmo, so I went to put it back, and find the next thing to read. I was sure that nobody was home, so I snuck into her room. I dug around, and found a couple of things that looked promising. I held them to my chest, like the girls at school held their books, and turned around.

There, standing in the hallway was my father. I tried to turn and hide, but he saw me. I was dead meat.

* * *

 

As I sat in my room, I could hear my parents yelling at each other. Basically, dad wanted to kill me, send me to military school, or throw me out on the street. Mom said I was just exploring, and it would be just a phase.

Dad didn't let me change; I had to stay dressed up as I heard them having this conversation. At long last, he promised mom not to kill me. He marched up to my room, and called for Jody.

"Jody, your brother Nick thinks he's your sister now. Just look at him!"

"Come on dad, give him a break" she said.

He raised a hand as if to slap her, then backed off.

"He's going to find out today that this isn't what he wants" he roared, waving his hand at me.

"Please dad..." I started

"Shut up! You're going to listen to me now. No son of mine is going to go around like some drag queen. But your mother seems to think its ok. Well, I have a way to cure you of it. Jody: paint your brother's nails, and put on that makeup you're always so hot about using on yourself. Lay it on thick. Then bring your brother downstairs. And he better look like a real girl!"

"Yes sir" she said, knowing better than to disobey him when he was in a rage.

 

He left us, and she started to work on my nails.

"Nick, how long have you been doing this for?"

"Oh, a few months."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just sort of started by accident when mom left a pair of panties in my wash."

"I suspected something. You don't have my red skirt, do you? I've been looking all over for it."

"Yes I do" I admitted. "And some of your other stuff. But I didn't mean anything by it. It just feels good. But I still want girls and everything."

"That's ok, you don't have to justify anything to me."

"No, really, I mean it. I'm been after Lynn at school, but she won't date me. I guess I wanted to feel what it was like to be like her."

"Don't worry. We'll calm dad down, and this will all be over."

"Thank you" I said.

"Now hold still. Quit squirming!" she said, as she moved from my nails to my face. It was so strange to see bright covering my nails. She worked on my face for a while, then told me to sit still. She came back with a box.

"Your boobs look bad, because they're too uneven."

"They're a bunch of socks" I said.

"Here, put these in" she said handing me the box.

The box held two breast enhancers. They were made of silicon gel, and said they added a cup size. The girl on the front of the box didn't look like she needed any enhancing of *her* breasts.

"Don't tell dad. He'd kill me if he knew I used these when I go out on dates. But they'll make you look better. If you're going to look like a girl, you should look like a good one."

"Thanks" I said.

We discussed her books as she did the next coat of nail polish. She sprayed me with perfume, then handed me the mirror. I was wearing lipstick, eye shadow, mascara, rouge, and other stuff. I couldn't believe how it made me look! Like a girl!

She played with my hair, but it was just too short. She went to one of her drawers, and came back with something. Hair extenders. We had the same color of hair. She put the extenders on, then played with my hair and some hairspray. It made it look like I had long hair in the back! It was so cool! I looked just like a girl now! I almost climaxed from the sight of myself.

* * *

 

Once downstairs, mom and dad had another argument.

"No dammit, I've made up my mind. I'm going to take him to the mall where all his friends hang out, and make them see him like this. Then we'll go over to see the football coach and tell him that he's going to try out as a cheerleader instead of playing safety this year. And then we can...."

"You'll do no such thing! You'll traumatize the boy" said mom defensively. "Please, remember Dr. Manning that your brother went to? Please, lets all go there and discuss this with him."

"I don't need a shrink. I'm not crazy" I said defensively.

"So says the boy dressed up in his sisters clothes" said dad derisively. "I have half a mind to get a knife and make you a real woman."

"Henry!" said mom, "Enough!"

"All right Loretta, you win. We'll take *her* to your shrink. Get in the car, *Nichole*" he sneered.

 

We all got in, and drove to the doctor's office. I was glad that there weren't many people around to see us as we walked in. Nobody gave me even a second glance, except for one young man that was staring at my 'breasts'. Wouldn't he be surprised to find out what I had on underneath my skirt! But his staring made me feel so uncomfortable.

We got to the waiting room, and I picked up a copy of Sports Illustrated. Dad slapped my hand back, and handed me Cosmo Girl.

"That's more appropriate for you now" he said in disgust. How could I ever explain this? How could I ever face them again after I was caught?

 

"The doctor will see you now" said the receptionist. I wished I was a real girl like her. Then none of this would ever have been a problem. If only I had been born female!

We went in, and met Dr. Manning. He was kind and gentle, and didn't treat me like a freak or anything.

"I need to talk to him alone. Will you please go outside and wait for us?" he said.

 

My parents got up and left the room.

"Now Nick, or do you prefer Nichole?" he said.

"Nick is fine" I replied.

"Tell me, how long have you been dressing up?"

He said it in a way like it wasn't wrong or a crime. It was just a fact.

"A few months" I replied.

"What got you started?"

I told him.

"Nick, do you like boys?"

"No! I like girls" I said defensively.

"Its ok, you don't have to lie to me. Just tell me that you like boys."

"I'm sorry doctor, but I don't. I only want girls."

"But you're trying to become a girl, aren't you Nick. That's what you really want, isn't it? To be a girl?"

"No!"

"Just tell me that you want to be a girl. Its all right. I won't be upset that you want to be a girl that likes boys."

"No!" I protested again.

"Well see Nick. I think you're holding back from me. I am going to give you a test. Fill in all of the answers honestly. I'll be back in a few minutes to pick it up."

The test was stupid, with some of the dumbest questions I had ever seen. How could they tell anything about me from this?

-Do you hate your father Y/N

-I like art museums Y/N

-Brown is a nice color Y/N

-If I had a career as a teacher, I'd be happy Y/N

 

On and on it went. I filled in the little boxes with my #2 pencil. Soon after I was done, the doctor returned. He put the form through the scanner, then checked his computer.

"Hmmmm, just as I suspected" he said.

"What?" asked dad, impatiently.

"I suspected that your son suffers from a syndrome where he feels guilt because he was not born as a woman. In his heart, he knows that he should have been female, but he was mistakenly born into a boy's body. That is why he is trying so hard to feminize himself. He really wants to be a girl."

They both looked at me funny. It wasn't true though!

"Further, he has now entered puberty where his body will start to change. The longer you wait to begin the treatment, the harder it will be for him later on. I recommend that he starts on the full program we discussed while he was taking the test."

"What did that test prove? It was stupid" I said.

"Oh on the contrary. It was very revealing. Listen Nick, on some questions there is a very high correlation between gender and the answer. On questions where there was a high percentage of women who gave one answer, you had a 97.8 correlation."

"What does that mean?" asked mom.

"That he answered the questions like a girl" said dad.

Dr. Manning nodded.

"In addition, on questions where there was a high male correlation, he only scored 7.2%"

"So he didn't answer questions like a boy, hardly at all?" asked mom.

"Precisely. His mind is that of a girl. That is why he is reacting to his body changing, by trying to act and dress more and more like a girl."

"But I'm not! I like girls! I want to date girls!" I said, unable to be quiet any longer.

"Tell me Nick, when you're dressed up like that, have you ever imagined making love to a woman?"

"No" I said.

"Have you ever wished that you were a real woman?"

I nodded. I did that when I saw his receptionist.

"Have you ever dated a real girl?"

"No."

"So lets get this straight. You don't date girls, you don't imagine making love to them when you dress up, and you wish that you really were a girl. Nick, you're fooling yourself if you keep thinking that you want girls. You just want to *be* them, don't you?"

I thought about it.

"You want to *be* a girl Nick. It's all right, you can tell me. Your parents will be supportive of you either way. They love you very much. Now tell me, do you want to be a girl?"

I didn't really know, but I felt pressured to say something, so I nodded, then started to cry.

"See" said dad in disgust, "just like a girl."

He got up and left the room. I sobbed.

"There there Nichole" said mom. "The doctor will help you. He's going to send you to a clinic for a while, then you can come back to us. We love you very much, and can't wait for you to come home. We'll convert your room and have a whole new wardrobe waiting for you when you get back. Be a good girl" she said, giving me a kiss. I looked up to her with love as the tears continued to well up in my eyes.

 

After I cleaned up in the bathroom, I said good bye again to mom and dad. I was headed to some clinic, and I was more confused than I had ever been in all my life. I didn't really want to be a girl. But he said that I was about to become one.

* * *

 

I arrived at the clinic, dressed up as a girl. My mother gave me a suitcase, but I didn't look inside it until I went to unpack in my new room. There were two beds, but there was no roommate for me yet. I put the suitcase on the bed, and started to unpack.

I became excited as I saw the contents. It was full of girl's clothes. There were panties, bras, dresses, skirts, blouses, frilly things, hair care items, makeup, curling iron, nail polish, and lots of other things. Wow! I carefully hung everything up, and put away the rest in the dresser.

I had to report to the nurse's station for a complete physical. She weighed me, took my blood pressure, took a blood sample, poked me and prodded me. Then I was told to report to the head doctor. Dr. Greene gave me a tour of the clinic. All of the patients here were boys from 12 to 18 who were on their way to becoming girls. They had facilities for classes, medical areas, a gym, a spa, and lots of other things. It was really a nice place!

He took me back to his office and reviewed my chart. He called the nurse in, gave her some instructions, and told me to follow her. We went to an examining room, where she put an I.V. tube into my arm.

"This first day, we have to give you a whole bunch of injections. This will let us just poke you once. You can read Cosmo or Elle while the liquid drips in. If you feel any discomfort, just push this button, and we'll come see you."

"What are you giving me?" I asked.

"The first thing is a testosterone blocker. It will stop the effects that testosterone is having on your body. The second one is a naturally occurring substance in a male body, which converts testosterone to estrogen. That is why every man has a low level of estrogen already flowing through his veins. Third, this is an inhibitor which will shut down the production of testosterone completely in your body. So we will stop producing it, block its effects, and convert it into estrogen."

"Wow, all that?"

"Oh, and there is more. Other female hormones that your body is in need of. You won't feel anything for a few weeks, but they'll slowly begin to alter you. You have an X chromosome, just like we do, you know. All you need is the right chemical signals, and it will start to express itself."

"I never thought of that" I said.

"Oh yes. You will be surprised how much woman you have inside you already. We just free her here to come out. Oh and lets see, I've also administered a high dose of the hormones that you would find in birth control pills. We are going to fool your body into thinking it is pregnant, just like the pill does for real functioning women. That will trigger your body's own natural genetic code to do the same as it would to a pregnant woman."

"Like what?"

"Oh, make your breasts grow, gain weight in your hips and your butt, trigger your nurturing instincts, rearrange your brain so that you become attached to your baby, all that."

I didn't like the sounds of any of those!

Next, she pulled up my skirt, and then pulled down my panties. She applied a white cream to my male parts.

"You need to put this on every day. It will help shrink your male appendages, and will start to kill their cells immediately. With the hormones, your body will react to it by trying to create new female cells to take their place."

Lastly, she put a set of earphones on me.

"This tape has soothing music for you. Please don't take it off."

I liked the mellow music, and just let it blend into the background as I read my magazines. I was scared at what all the hormones were doing to my body, but after a few minutes, I was so engrossed with the reading that I hardly thought about it.

 

A few hours later, I went to bed. I was still the only one in my room. Perhaps I'd get a private room for the price of a shared one. What a deal.

I thought about my busy day. One thought stayed in my head as I drifted off to sleep: I'm glad I'm a girl now. I'm glad I'm a girl.

* * *

 

In the morning, I got up and dressed in my new female clothes. Instead of doing it in secret in my room, being terrified of being discovered, I was doing it to go out in public. It was so liberating to be able to dress as I wanted to, without pressure. Without fear. Without shame. I felt inside that I was expressing my true self.

I thought it was strange how after just one night here, I was suddenly confident that I was really a woman inside. I was opening up so quickly!

 

After breakfast (remembering to take my hormone pills with my orange juice), I went to my first class. It was on how to dress. I thought I already knew how to dress, but I was shocked at how much I was missing. From reading my sister's magazines, I knew some of the basics of fashion, but it was very complex, and I had no idea how low of a hemline was considered appropriate at a wedding vs. a birthday party. Or how high of a heel was appropriate for a dinner date vs. a dance party. What color of hose should I wear for a formal vs. a casual date? Or what shoes really go with what outfit.

I had so much to learn! I eagerly took notes, and I had an urge to go shopping so I would have a full closet of clothes to make more outfits from. And I only had a few pairs of shoes. I desperately wanted more!

 

Next, I went to a class that I didn't like the sounds of: "Dating Boys". I had only recently started dressing like a girl, and even though when I woke up this morning I discovered that I was a girl inside, I had never thought of being with a boy. I still wanted girls, even though I now felt like one (if that makes any sense). I guessed I must be a lesbian. I had no interest in boys. But they were making me take a class on dating them! I was doomed to flunk this one (I thought).

I was surprised on how the teacher, Mrs. Edison, started out.

"Now class, I know many of you don't want to date boys. You're girls now, but you just want to date other girls. That is fine. I am not going to force you to date boys. Women can choose partners of either gender."

Wow, exactly what I was thinking. I was so relived.

"However," she continued, "there are many advantages that you haven't discovered yet, since you only recently have become young women. Now, which of you, when you used to be boys, went out on a date?"

It felt so shocking to hear that I *used* to be a boy. I loved how she treated us like we were real girls already. I looked around the room, and about half of us had our hands up in the air.

"Very good" she said. "Now Jane, tell us what you did on your date"

"Well" said the young girl in the front row with the red hair and freckles, "I asked her out. I picked her up, took her to dinner, then a movie."

"Who paid for all that?" asked Mrs. Edison.

"Well, I did" said Jane.

"Exactly. Now listen carefully girls. When you were boys, things were different. *You* had to ask the girl out. *You* had to plan things, and pay for things. *You* had to do all the hard work."

We all nodded in agreement.

"But you are girls now. Guys will ask you out. When you are done here, and are pretty attractive young women, you will be swarmed by guys who want you to date them. Even if you don't feel attracted to them, you can use this to your advantage."

"You can say 'yes' to them. They will do the work and plan everything. They will pick you up, and hopefully bring you flowers. You will soon appreciate having beautiful flowers all the time, now that you're girls. Then he'll do the driving. *He* will pay for dinner, and once you're old enough, drinks. *He* will take you to the movie, or to the play, or to the concert. *He* will be the one who waits in line for tickets, not you. Then *he* will take you home. You get everything, and he will gladly do it, just for the privilege of being in your company."

"But I'm not going to kiss a boy!" protested someone from the back. I was in total agreement.

"We'll see about that. You may change your mind. But don't worry, you don't have to kiss him if you don't want to. In fact, how many of you went out with someone who kissed on the first date?"

Only two hands went up.

"And for you two, how many stayed with her for more than 3 more dates?".

They both put their hands down.

"See? Even if you want to get into his pants, you *don't* kiss on the first date. That is an important rule for you girls to learn. Even if you want him desperately, you need to start very slowly. Maybe allow him to hold your hand, but nothing more. Keep him held back, moving slowly forward. If you go right out and have sex on the first date, then what more is there? He'll move on. You need to ensnare him, make him love you, and then you can make him do anything you want."

"Anything?" asked someone from the front.

"Yes, anything. Think of a big wedding. How much of that is something the groom wants? Nothing! It is all for the bride. In this class, you will learn how to use your sex to completely control a man, and make him do *anything* you want. All you have to do is to accept your new femininity, and the rest is easy."

Wow, completely control someone? Make him do anything I want? That sounded pretty good!

"When you were boys, even if you weren't dating, how many of you did things you would have hated doing, but you did it for her?"

"I helped a girl move her furniture to a new apartment, then she dumped me" said someone.

"I cleaned out her garage, and picked up garbage after a party. She said thanks, but never even kissed me" said someone.

"I gave her a ticket to the big concert, that I spent three weeks saving for" said someone else.

"See? They used you. And you *liked* it. You came back for more. By the time I am done with you, you will understand these things, and how to use them to your advantage. You can even get a man to marry you, so you can stay at home, while he works all day! You can have anything you want."

That didn't sound so bad. I almost wanted to start dating boys right then and there.

 

The other classes were interesting, and when it came to the end of the day, I did as they asked, listening to the soothing music to relax myself before going to bed. It was quite a day, being just like a girl for a full 24 hours. Everyone here was so supportive and so kind! They treated me like a young lady, and nobody at all made you feel bad for the dressing up like a girl.

I felt like I learned more in one day than I had in all the other times I had dressed up combined! I was having fun and enjoying myself. I drifted off to sleep, eager to face the next day.

* * *

 

I still had some doubts about being a girl. I mean, I loved acting like one and dressing like one, but I really wasn't sure if I wanted to do it all the time. I still wanted to be with a girl, and I thought of Lynn from time to time. Even if I was fully transformed into a real girl (which I knew was impossible), she would always be there in my heart. I'd still want her.

 

The second day was as good as the first. I learned so much! It was like my mind was opened for the first time, and I saw the world in a completely different way. One class I had was to help us understand our new perspective on things. For example, we would have to deal with new emotions. They explained that all of the female hormones we were loaded up with would in time alter our brain chemistry, and we would start to think just like real girls. That thought both scared me and excited me, all at once.

I was making a lot of friends too. I met so many others who were just like me, as well as some that were further along in the process. Those of us who were new looked jealously at them. They seemed so graceful, so feminine. Just like we wanted to be. We wore wigs, but they had their own long hair. Mine would grow out in time, I just had to be patient.

 

At the end of the first week, I felt like I was drowning in a new culture. I was being totally immersed in the feminine ways. It never let up. I was always being pushed, further and further, always moving towards the end point of womanhood.

In our last class on Friday, Mrs. Glass was explaining to us the effects of the hormones we were taking. She said that in time, our breasts would begin to grow, just like they do for real girls.

"However class, real girls have years and years of exposure to estrogen. You will only be here a matter of months, so you will need some extra help. Today, each of you will be escorted by a nurse to the medical center. They will determine the ideal breast size for a girl of your age and height. Then you will all receive implants, to bring you to where you should be. The hormones will continue working, so your breasts will only keep increasing as you get older."

A row of nurses, dressed in short white uniforms, entered the room. Each of us was led by the hand down the hall. My mind raced. I looked at Nurse Jackie's uniform, and I was jealous about how it laid so nicely on her, because she had such shapely hips and thighs. My body was too straight, and dresses weren't as good looking. I didn't have curves, and I felt jealous.

I loved her shade of nail polish, and her cute little shoes. Her hair must have taken her a long time to do, because it was so finely styled. Her makeup was professionally applied, making her face even more pretty than its already generous natural beauty provided for.

When I looked at her chest, my heart started to race. *I* was about to get implants, so that *my* bust line would be like *hers*. I felt excited, but afraid. I wasn't ready for breasts! Shouldn't they do that later on?

And if I did get breasts, it would be a sign to the world about who I was. There would be no way I could go outside and pretend to be a boy again. My boobs would show everyone that I was a girl. This was the point of no return!

My knees went weak. It was like the male inside of me was screaming for this to stop. I didn't really want to be a girl forever, did I? I became confused and upset.

"What's the matter Nichole? Are you having doubts?" said Nurse Jackie.

"Yes, I guess" I said.

"Let the woman inside you be your guide" she said. Suddenly, something was different. It was like my doubts all vanished, and more than anything I actually *wanted* to have big breasts. I hoped they would be really large, so I could show them off. How silly I had been to be afraid. What was wrong with me?

I noticed that she was humming a familiar tune. It was the same as the soothing music that I was supposed to listen to every night. Perhaps that was what had calmed me down so much? I wasn't sure. But I was too excited to think. I was getting breasts! This was going to be the best day of my life.

* * *

 

I awoke with excitement, and with just a little bit of pain in my chest. I reached out to touch them, and my hands confirmed it: I had breasts. They were larger than I might have expected, which made me very glad. I had boobs now! I was a girl!

The soothing music was playing in my ears, and I drifted off to sleep again, happy and contented.

* * *

 

On Monday, I was recovered enough to return to class. They had taken off the bandages, and I could see my new chest. Wow! They had used some kind of laser to remove my chest hair, so it was just smooth young skin, with two large mounds. My breasts! I felt so proud, so excited.

I put on my bra, and for the first time felt it giving me lift and support. With something stuffed in as I had done before, the bra had moved around, wanting to ride up. But now, it was firmly anchored in place with my breasts. They had some weight to them, which was quite different from the things I had used before to stuff my bra cups. This meant that I could really feel my shoulder straps, as they pulled back against the weight applied by the breasts. I felt them dig into my shoulder!

When I went to brush my teeth, I could feel the inside of my upper arm brushing against them. My arm was used to the feeling a little bit, because I had worn a stuffed bra. But now I could feel it in my boobs too! What a sensation!

After I put my blouse on, I looked in the mirror. I was so proud that they were *my* breasts. You could see just a hint of cleavage, where they started to part as the neck of the blouse closed off. I was so happy that I actually started to cry. Tears of joy! I was a girl. I was so happy! I glided through the halls, and on to my class.

 

I learned something interesting in dating class. By now, they had us all convinced that we all would be much better off if we started dating boys. We were all excited to do it. I don't know how they go to me, but I was *craving* it. Me! Oh how I wanted one for my own.

Anyway, this one girl named Lauri asked the teacher a question.

"You always warn us how boys will always pressure us to have sex with them, and how they see it as a reward they should get after treating us to a date. What do you do when he's treated you very nicely, and you really enjoyed it, but you just don't want to have sex that night?"

"Good question Lauri. I'm going to tell you something that every women knows, but you've got to promise to never tell this to a man."

We all nodded our heads.

"Make sure you always keep a few tampons in your purse, even when it is nowhere near your period. You see, your period is a great weapon, because it is the one thing that totally grosses out the bravest man. He wants nothing to do with sticking his thing inside you when you are flowing. So what you do is say you need to go to the bathroom, dig through your purse, and pull out the tampon. Say something like 'oh good, I've got one on me. I'll be right back dear, I've got to put this in'. Guaranteed, there is no way he will want sex that night."

We all applauded.

"What about if he insists on oral sex?" asked Fiona.

"Remember, you're on your period. You have wild mood swings. Make some reference when you eat that you get so mad sometimes, then bite your food hard, and show your teeth. Just a hint that you could get mad at him and bite....no, he'll back off. No oral sex that night either."

More applause.

"Or the last way: tell him 'you first'. Most men won't go down on you, so you've got him beat before you even start."

Wow! I was learning a lot. Men would be easy to manipulate. I didn't quite understand them sometimes, but I was a woman, so that was to be expected.

* * *

 

As the weeks went on, things were going wonderfully. I felt so feminine. I felt like a real girl. Yes, I had the wrong plumbing between my legs, but since the hormones had really kicked in, it wasn't getting aroused anymore, and I felt like it wasn't even really a part of me anymore.

So when we reached a weekend, and the nurses came to lead us back to the medical center, I had no doubts as we walked down the hall. Again, the nurse told me: "Let the woman inside you be your guide", and for some reason, she hummed the same tune that the other nurse had. But I took no notice. I was too excited that they were about to cut off the last reminder that I had ever been a stupid aggressive stinky boy.

* * *

 

When I awoke, there was considerable pain. They had to give me a shot to help ease it, but inside I was *so* glad to be free from the terrible things that had been on my groin. I could wear a bikini in public now, or go to aerobics class in my leotard without being embarrassed at the unsightly bulge.

I hardly noticed the music this time as I drifted off to sleep...

* * *

 

A funny thing happened after a few weeks: I was getting bored with class. I knew all this stuff they were talking to us about, and I was getting tired of hearing it. I hoped I could leave this place soon, so that I could go out into the world and get on with my life.

I had a roomie now, and we were like the best of friends. We stayed up every night talking and giggling until the room monitors came in and made us listen to the relaxing music, and go to bed. Her name was Bethany, and we became fast friends.

She moved he seats next to mine in our classes, and more than once the teacher scolded us for passing notes back and forth. We became like sisters, and we shared our thoughts and feelings with each other in a way I could never have done when I first arrived here.

 

As I said, the classes felt too slow for me. But there was one class that did make me worried: we were getting close to the time that we were going to have to go out on dates, with boys. I mean, what if he tried to take advantage of me? What would I do? I wasn't sure.

It was time for our final exam, and we all dressed up in our prettiest clothes, and headed to a hall where a dance had been arranged. We all waited by one wall, with the boys on the other side. One by one, they would come up to us, ask one of us to dance, and off we would go.

About half of the girls had a dance partner when one handsome young man approached me. My mouth went dry. I was suddenly scared. He held out his hand, and I didn't know if I could go through with this. Something inside of me was screaming that I couldn't dance with a boy! This was wrong! This had to stop!

I looked up, and saw our teacher, Mrs. Edison. She turned to me.

"Let the woman inside you be your guide" she said.

I looked up at the boy, and my heart leaped. He was so handsome, and he wanted to dance with me! Me! Of all the girls, he had picked me! I was so excited! I felt so attracted. I was like putty in his hands. If he asked me at that moment to make love, I would have undressed right there on the spot.

I took his hand, and headed out to the dance floor...

* * *

 

I was packing my bag, and saying a tearful farewell to Bethany. She would be there a few more months, but I was ready to move back home with my family. I hadn't seen them since I had left. I walked down the hall, and said good bye to the other girls. I waited outside the office, where I was to meet my family.

The door was open just a crack, and I could hear a hushed conversation.

"....and remember, if any sign of any male behavior ever appears, just use the phrase. His mind has been reprogrammed, and the phrase will trigger his feminine side to take over. There should be no male left inside. Nichole is completely female. But just in case of a relapse."

I didn't know what they were talking about. I heard a door open, and another voice: my father. That made me feel something strange inside. A foreign feeling. I had wanted to be just like him at one time, hadn't I? Back when I was....a boy? I was a boy? That couldn't be. Something was wrong! I felt so confused!

Mrs. Edison saw me, and asked what I was feeling. I told her.

"Let the woman inside you be your guide" she said in a soothing tone.

Suddenly, all of my doubts were gone. I was a girl, and that was all I knew. I was a girl. Now, and forever.

* * *

 

After I was home for a few days, I ran into my old friend Lynn from school, when I was at the mall buying a new pair of shoes. She didn't recognize me for some reason.

"It's me, Nichole!" I said.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember you" she said.

She was just jealous that my boobs were bigger than hers. That must be it. Her boyfriend was staring at me, gaping at my chest (like all those boys liked to do). She was just being catty, that was all. Her boyfriend was cute however. I would have to work on him, and steal him away from her. Not only would that teach her, but I was a little lonely too, and he sure was cute. I was going to make him mine.

I smiled and looked into his eyes. He would never know what hit him. And she learn not to mess around with a pretty girl like me. I smiled a wicked smile, and batted my eyelashes as him. When she looked to the side, I touched my boobs, and licked my lips. I could almost see him getting hard. I had him now. He was going to be mine.

  

  

  

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