Ghostwriter

by Jennifer White

 

Ryan and Josh were typical brothers: always fighting, always arguing, always in competition with each other. Ryan was a year older, so he was a little bigger, a little stronger, and a little smarter. So more often than not, he would beat out Josh at whatever they were competing at, be it basketball, cards, fighting, wrestling, or whatever.

Their sister Bianca would shake her head as she watched the two boys get all scuffed up from their brawling. Sometimes their father Glen had to pull them apart to get them to stop fighting. He was a successful editor at the local newspaper, and he didn't have time for all the roughhousing that went on.

It had never been like that for him. He grew up as a 'hippie' in the 1960's, as has his wife Kathalene (or 'Starshine' as she had gone by back then!). Now they were both into the 'new age' movement. But in both cases, they were for peace and calmness. It alarmed them that their sons could be so aggressive and violent towards each other. Only Bianca had turned out well, in their minds. She was smart, kind, gentle, and never loud and obnoxious like her brothers.

 

There was one area where Josh had an edge over Ryan: he understood his parents. As he lay in bed, with the bag of ice over his black eye that his brother had just given him in a fight, he decided that at long last, he needed to do something to change things around the house. He was tired of being beaten up. Enough was enough. If he couldn't stop Ryan through physical means, then he would have to do it some way sneaky. He would have to use his brain to beat his brother, and to get some peace at last.

As he lay there, he heard Bianca talking to his mom. And he remembered the conversation they had last week, when his dad had pulled him and Ryan apart, and told them they should be more like their sister. More like Bianca! That was it! That would solve his problem.

He thought for a little while, then he knew what to do.

 

* * *

 

"Mom, Dad, I think you should come see this" said Josh.

Kathalene and Glen followed their younger son to his room, where he pointed to the computer.

"Now I know it is wrong to snoop, but I guessed Ryan's password today, and I was looking at his personal journal he keeps. I was going to keep it a secret, but when I saw this, I thought you should know...."

Josh knew that to his parents, the act of confessing that he did something wrong would more than make up for the sin itself. They would not punish him for snooping through his brother's private diary. They would instead praise him for confessing, and for being so caring about his brother. He would come out the hero in all this.

What his parents didn't know though. was that before he pulled up the diary on the computer for them to see, he first hacked into his brother's private disk drive, and added some entries to his journal. The computer screen showed the entry for one day:

 

Tuesday, July 20.

Had little league baseball today. We lost 3-2, but I had four hits and drove in two runs. Loser Josh let a

ball go through his legs, letting them score. Why do I get stuck with him on my team? Its not fair!

Its also not fair that Bianca got to be a girl, but I had to be a boy. I wore her skirt again today when

she wasn't around, and it felt good. I wish I was developing boobs like she is. Some day I'll get

implants.

 

 

Josh smiled, as his shocked parents read the entry. Glen hit the arrow button to go forward a few days.

 

Thursday July 22.

The guys are leaving for camp with boy scouts next week. I wish I was a girl scout, so I could wear one

of those cute skirts they get. I hate it so much that I'm a boy. I'm wearing mom's bra as I type this. I

stuffed it full, so it looks like I have breasts. Wow, it feels good. Too bad I can't go around like this all

the time.

 

"So that's where my bra went to!" said Kathalene. In fact, it had been Josh who had stolen it (along with several things from his sister), hiding them all in Ryan's dresser drawer.

"I found this today too" he said, opening the drawer for her to see.

"Why those are Bianca's panties!" she said. "And her skirt! I can't believe this!"

Glen went forward again.

 

Friday July 23.

Hung out with the guys all day, didn't do much. Watched the girls go by, wished I was one of them.

I stole a tampon from the girl's bathroom, and carried it in my pocket. I wish I had a place between

my legs to insert it. Because then I'd be a girl. I wish I was like mom! I wish I was like Bianca! I

wish I would wake up, and be a girl.

 

 

"Where is your brother?" said Glen.

"I don't know" replied Josh.

"Find him. Get him home. Kathalene, call Dr. Stone, and set up an emergency appointment."

Dr. Stone was the hippie psychologist that Josh's parents went to see. He was a real pushover, and he would fall for the 'evidence'. Now all Josh had to do was to round up Ryan, and tell him the right things to set him off.

 

* * *

 

"Ryan, listen. You're in big trouble with Mom and Dad. They're taking you to see Dr. Stone. They think you're too violent and abstinent. If you don't prove to Dr. Stone that you're gentle and obedient, they're going to send you away."

"Yeah, right" said Ryan. "What kind of trick are you playing now?"

"No, really!" said Josh. "You had better get home right now."

Ryan sneered and laughed. He shoved his brother over on his bike, so he would get a heard start and get home first. Josh pedaled as hard as he could, but Ryan beat him home. Ryan strode up to the house, triumphant and cocky.

"Young man, get in the car right now" said Glen.

"What for? Where we going?"

"Where *are* we going" corrected Kathalene.

"Where *are* we going" echoed Ryan, almost tauntingly.

"To see Dr. Stone" said his father.

Ryan slumped back down in his seat. So his stupid little brother had told the truth for once. He *was* going to get in trouble. He had better go along with whatever stupid things Dr. Stone had for him to do, so he wouldn't get sent away. He didn't want to leave home! He was silent, as the car drove down the street eight miles away to the family psychiatrist, Glen and Kathalene's guru, Dr. Stone.

 

* * *

 

Dr. Stone was a holdover from the sixties himself. His long gray hair was pulled back in a ponytail, to show that he was still 'rebellious'. He wore casual slacks, a hemp shirt, and a round metal pin-on that read: "No War!"

Ryan sat alone in the waiting room while Dr. Stone met with the parents. Then, at last, he was called in.

"Ryan, you remember Dr. Stone?" said Kathalene.

"Yes" he replied, his head down. He hated Dr. Stone, thinking him to be a wacko. But his parents swore by him, and now he was stuck there as well.

"Dr. Stone is going to ask you some questions. Answer them honestly. He is going to talk to you for a while, then we'll come back to get you."

Ryan nodded, as his parents left the room.

"They care for you a great deal, Ryan" said Dr. Stone.

"I guess" he said.

"Okay then, I have some questions for you. Please give me an honest and full answer. There is no right or wrong answer to these, so don't think of it as a test. All right?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Very good Ryan. Now first of all, look into this mirror. Look at your face. Tell me; how do you feel about what you see? Do you like your face?"

"I don't know. This is stupid. Can I go home?"

"No Ryan. You have to stay. Now tell me more descriptively: what do you see?"

"A boy's face."

"All right, put the mirror down. Now tell me, do you like boys?"

"What do you mean" said Ryan, not feeling very comfortable with the question.

"I mean, if you went out on a date, would you like to go with a boy?"

"No!!!!" said Ryan, standing up, and looking like he wanted to pound someone (specifically Dr. Stone).

"Very interesting" said the doctor, as he wrote in his pad of paper. "Please sit down. Now let's continue..."

The stupid questions kept up for half an hour, and Ryan thought he was going to be driven crazy by the time this quack was done with him.

 

 

After the questions and answers, Ryan was led to another room in the clinic. There were three other boys in there. Ryan didn't know if they were crazy. Crazy people went to places like this. He sat as far from them as he could. Plus, with the doctor asking him if he liked boys, what if he was being set up? He decided to just read a magazine.

He looked down to find two choices: Sports Illustrated, or Glamour. He subscribed to SI at home, and he had already read that issue. Plus the feature story was on horse racing, and that wasn't really even a sport (in his mind)! But Glamour had a hot babe on the cover. There would be more pictures of her inside. He opened it up to find her, and there she was in all her glory. He stared at her longingly. He wished he could meet a chick like that!

 

* * *

 

"See here?" said Dr. Stone to Ryan's parents. "He enters the room with the boys, and look at how he stares at them. He *does* want them. And then, when given a choice between a Sports Illustrated and Glamour, he goes for the fashion magazine. Inside, I think he really is a girl."

Ryan's parents were stunned by the news, but they were the accepting type. They would go along with whatever Dr. Stone told them was best for their son.

 

After a while, Dr. Stone called him back into the examining room. His parents were there now too.

"After examining Ryan, I think you are correct in your assessment of him" said the doctor. "The aggression he is exhibiting is a result of holding back on his feelings. I recommend that he stay here for a weekend. By letting him act out his feelings towards himself, he will have his release, and the anger will be gone."

"Ryan, you are going to stay here at the clinic with Dr. Stone for the weekend" said Glen. "I know it will be hard to be away from your family, but this is best for you."

His mother game him a hug, as they turned to leave. He was now in the clutches of Dr. Stone. He thought again of Josh's words, about how he was in trouble for all his violence and anger. He had better be sure do to whatever the crazy doctor told him to do, to prove that he could control himself.

 

"They're all gone" said Dr. Stone. "There is no need to keep up your charade anymore. My assistant Candi will help you now."

"What is she going to help me with?" said Ryan, his interest picking up.

"She is going to help you become a girl" said the doctor, causing all the color to drain from Ryan's face.

 

* * *

 

Candi was hot. Really hot. Dr. Stone told Ryan to go with her, and do whatever she told him.

"Its a test" he mumbled to himself. "They're trying to make me get mad and explode. I won't let them!"

He followed her down a corridor, where she led him to a room. She told him to strip naked, which caused him to blush.

"I am a trained medical technician" she said. "You need not be embarrassed with me. And, we're all girls here anyway."

There it was again, girls. Dr. Stone said she was going to turn him into a girl. Why would they do *that* to him? It had to be something to do with his violent behavior. He swallowed hard. He was going to have to be passive, and let her do whatever she wanted to him. If he fought back or blew a fuse, he'd get it for sure.

So he washed off with shower as she told him too, and stood there passively as she applied the hair removal cream on his body. He didn't have much body hair yet (other than his pubic hair), but it was just starting to come in. He rinsed on her command, then toweled off.

It was shear torture just standing there as Candi attached fake breasts to his chest with some kind of glue, then put a bra on him to hold them in place. Then she put silky panties on him, which he did have to admit felt good. Then she put him into a very girly blouse, and a long red polka-dot skirt. Then she put him into girl's shoes.

He just stood there as she put a wig on his head, painted his nails, and put makeup on his face. She sprayed him with perfume. She kept telling him that he was a girl now.

"When you're a girl, what's your name?" she said, as she took a purse from the shelf, and showed him how to hold it over his shoulder.

"I don't know" he whispered.

"That's a good girl voice" she said, smiling. "I think your name is Tammie. You look like Tammie to me. Now tell me your name."

"I'm Tammie" he said, fearful that a wrong response would lead to some sort of punishment.

"All done Tammie. You are a pretty girl now. Come on with me."

She held out her hand, which Ryan took. He was holding hands with a hot babe! But he was dressed up as a girl. He felt aroused from her touch, and from seeing her. It felt weird to get aroused in women's clothes though. The panties were tight against him, instead of having room like his boxers did. Everything felt strange, and foreign.

 

"The doctor says that you are to spend the day interacting with girls. Don't worry, they are real girls. And none of them will think poorly of you for being as you are. Do you understand Tammie?"

"I guess so" said Ryan.

"Good. Now lets go in here, and meet the other girls."

Ryan was led into a room, where there were four girls. All of them were real, but him. He felt out of place. They all introduced themselves. At least none of them got on his case about being a boy in girl's clothes. That put him at ease a bit. Candi said she had to go, but she would be back soon.

"Have fun girls" she said. "Be nice to Tammie."

"We will" said the blond girl. "We will."

 

"So" said the brunette, "have you had your period yet?"

"No!" said Ryan, disgusted at the thought. The four real girls all giggled.

"Maybe you'll have one soon. Don't worry, every girl has her first period at a different time. It doesn't mean that you're not normal or anything."

"Yeah, and at least your boobs are growing already. You're stacked, girlfriend!"

"Thanks, I think" said Ryan.

"I hope *my* boobs come in really big and nice" said the blonde. "I would hate to have small breasts."

"Yeah, me too. Guys don't go for chicks with small boobs."

"What about you Tammie, do you want large boobs too, like we do?"

"Sure" said Ryan, not wanting to cause a fuss.

"And how about a boyfriend? Do you have a main squeeze yet?"

"No luck there" said Ryan, thinking of his attempts to get Cindy to go out with him. So far, he had struck out with her. And he wasn't seeing anyone, so no main squeeze.

"Aw, you're very pretty. One day, I'm sure you'll find the guy of your dreams."

"Yeah, the right man will come along for you Tammie. Just be patient."

Ryan didn't know if they were being supportive, or giving him a hard time.

"I bet Dr. Stone is patient" said the redhead. "He's still waiting for the right girl to come along."

They all burst out laughing at that one, even Ryan.

"Yeah, with that ponytail, he has longer hair than any of us!" he said, causing more giggles and laughs.

Soon, they were all joking around at the doctor's expense, laughing and enjoying themselves.

 

* * *

 

Ryan was subjected to what felt like torture for him. He was treated like a girl. He ate with the girls, talked with the girls, and was involved with their activities all night. They all watched a movie together. They all went to group discussion together with another psychologist on staff. They all fixed their makeup together, and braided each other's hair. Ryan needed some help learning how to do these things, but he picked up on it easily. He had seen his sister Bianca do it a zillion times.

He was led to a bed in the girl's wing of the clinic. He was sleeping in a girl's bed, all frilly and silly. There were dolls and teddy bears in the room. He changed into the nightie that Candi brought him to wear.

"Good night Tammie. You were a good girl today."

"Thank you" said Ryan, sheepishly.

"Night night."

 

He was left alone to stare at the pink ceiling, and wonder what in the world was going on.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Ryan was dressed up in a fancy outfit again, by Candi. This time it was a red frilly top, sleeveless with a plunging neckline. The top accompanied a black knee length skirt, decorated with red roses. A double red line ran around the hem at the bottom.

Candi put even more makeup on him today, along with ear rings. They were the kind held to your hears by magnets, so it looked like you pierced your ears. She also gave him a necklace to wear, and several rings. He felt even more frilly and girly than the day before.

He had done a wonderful job of containing his anger. But now, he just felt passive when she dressed him up. It was as if the skirt had taken away all his power, and he was unable to even try to resist her now.

"It's okay to be a girl here" she said to him. "I'm glad that you're one of us now."

She squeezed his hand, making his heart skip a beat. He wondered if she would give him her phone number, so he could ask her out. Yeah, she was older, but she was hot! Well, he could always ask one of the girls for their number. The blonde was pretty cool, but the redhead looked hotter. He'd ask her in the afternoon.

 

After breakfast with the girls, Ryan watched Fashion TV with then for an hour, and then they were able to watch another movie. After lunch, he was told that he was to meet with Dr. Stone and, then with his parents too.

"I'll go change back into my clothes."

"No" said Candi. "*Those* are your clothes too. The doctor wants you to meet them like you are now."

Ryan decided that it must be the last test, to try to get him to blow up. He would show them! He would keep his emotions in check! He sat in the waiting room, reading Glamour again, looking at the pictures of the hot babes. In his purse, he had the phone numbers for three of the girls he had been hanging out with. At least the weekend wasn't a total loss.

 

"So Tammie, look in the mirror at your face. Tell me; how do you feel about what you see? Do you like your face? What does it make you feel?"

"It looks pretty" said Ryan, as he gazed at the mascara, the eyeshadow, the pink lipstick, the rouge. His face *did* look pretty, like that of a girl.

"I see. Very good. Now tell me Tammie, do you like girls?"

"Yes I do" he said.

"Excellent. Now just a few more questions."

That mean half an hour of the same inane questions as they day before. Ryan sighed. He just wanted to go home.

 

* * *

 

Kathalene and Glen sat holding hands, in front of Dr. Stone. He was reviewing several pieces of paper on his desk, until at last he looked up to them.

"Ryan has some issues with anger" he said. "I gave him a standard test when he first arrived as a boy. Three times, he was so upset that he stood up and wanted to hit me. But after he was a girl for a day, the same questions were answered calmly, with no anger."

"So he dressed up like a girl? How did you get him to do that?"

"It didn't take much. He just did it. Now some cross dressers like to wear girl's clothes, because it turns them on. But he wasn't turned on by the clothes themselves. It wasn't until he was fully dressed as a girl that he got aroused. That is another sign that inside, he is really a girl."

"Not my son!" said Glen. "He likes sports!"

"You told me. But remember the tape from the observation camera? He went for the fashion magazine over the sports magazine. And he did it again today. Also, remember how he went into the room full of boys, and looked at them longingly? Then he got quiet, shy, and kept his distance? Now look at him with the girls."

He showed the tape of Ryan dressed up as Tammie, laughing and joking with the real girls.

"That's Ryan?" said Kathalene.

"Tammie" replied Dr. Stone. "Her name is Tammie."

"Her?" said Glen.

"When she is dressed up as a girl, she is female inside. So I refer to her as 'she'. Anyway, look at how she interacts properly with the girls! Look how excited she is! Never once did she get upset or anything. I even instructed the girls to talk about their periods in front of him. But no reaction. If he was a normal boy, he wouldn't have even let us dress him up. He would have resisted. Remember the anger from my simple questions?"

"I don't know" said Kathalene.
"There's more. During the interview as Ryan, the boy scored very low on the self esteem questions. I asked how did he like his face? He said he didn't know. When I pressed him, he said he saw "a boy's face". Not "my face". It was generic. As if he dissociated himself from his maleness."

"What did he saw when he was dressed up as a girl?" said Kathalene.

"When *she* was interviewed, I asked the same question. The response was "I'm pretty". You see, as a boy, he hates himself. As a girl, he likes himself."

"Wow" said Glen. "I never realized."

"The other self esteem questions were very similar. Tammie views herself as a girl. When she is forced into the role in life as a boy, she feels a great inner anger, which rages out of control. She cannot control herself. She explodes, and takes it out on her little brother. He is a boy, so in her mind, by beating up Josh, she is beating the boy out of herself. If she was in a dress, playing with Bianca, she would be happy. She would be well adjusted. She would be normal."

"So you're saying that the problem with our son, is that he is upset that he was not born a girl."

"Exactly" said Dr. Stone.

"And what do you recommend we do?" said Kathalene.

"Tammie has already been dressing herself in girl's clothes for quite some time. She already pictures herself as a girl. My recommendation is that we confirm with her. If she shows me again that she identifies herself as female, then the only reasonable course of action is to start her on female hormones, and after she develops for a while, have the surgery to make her a real woman."

The parents nodded grimly. They took Dr. Stone's word as golden, but they wanted to see for themselves.

"Candi, bring Tammie in to see her parents."

Candi led in Ryan by the hand. He saw his parents, and was so happy that he was going to be able to leave this madhouse, that he rushed over to them and gave them a big hug. Both parents were very surprised. Ryan was not demonstrative at all. But as Tammie, he was hugging them! He even had a purse over his shoulder, like a girl would have. His mother knew how a girl was about her purse. When Ryan sat down, Kathalene reached over to grab the purse away, to see the reaction.

Ryan was upset. The girl's phone numbers he had gathered were in there! Even Candi's now! He grabbed back, holding the purse so that his mother couldn't take it away from him.

"Now Kathalene, a girl's purse is her private domain. You should know better."

Kathalene felt a cold shock inside. Ryan was acting just like a girl. It was true.

 

Now it was the doctor's turn. He had a few questions.

"Tammie, when you go home, would you rather move to Bianca's room, or continue to stay with Josh?"

Ryan hated that punk Josh. This was all his fault. He never wanted to see him again.

"I'd much rather be with Bianca" he said.

Dr. Stone made a notation on his pad of paper, and gave a knowing glance to Kathalene and Glenn.

"Tammie, how do you like wearing a skirt?" he said.

"It is very comfortable" said Ryan.

"And how do you like panties?"

"They feel silky. I kind of like them actually. They're just not easy to get used to."

"Those are nice breasts you have. You really fill out that bra. You are stacked!"

Ryan knew what was gong on. He was trying to get him all mad again, in front of his parents to boot! He wasn't about to take that bait!

"Some of the girls are bigger than me" he said. "You should look at them."

"Thank you Tammie. Would you please wait outside?"

 

"Well" he said, after Candi led Ryan back out of the room. "There you have it. I tried to get her riled up by telling her how big her breasts were, and instead of responding with male rage and anger towards me, she took it as criticism, because the girls were better developed than her!"

"I can't believe it" said Glen.

"And you heard her. She liked wearing skirts and panties. She identifies with the female gender."

"So how do we handle this at home?"

"A sudden transition is difficult for all concerned. Here is how it should go. First, go fill this prescription for female hormone therapy. Make Tammie take the pills daily, as directed. That will start her breast development, and other secondary female sex characteristics. Also, I'm putting her on a testosterone blocker, so the male hormones don't get in the way of her transition to womanhood."

Glen nodded as the doctor gave him the piece of paper.

"Don't make her dress one way or the other. She'll probably dress as a boy for now, since all his friends think of her that way. But as the estrogen starts to act, and she begins to become more feminized, she will want to dress as a girl more and more on her own. She may be a Tomboy for a while Kathalene, but she'll change in time. Soon, you'll have that second daughter you always wanted."

"Thank you Dr. Stone!" said a grateful Kathalene.

"Thank you" said Glen.

 

Ryan had changed back into his own clothes. He was *so* glad to be going home. He vowed to be nice to Josh, so that they didn't do this to him again.

"Take these pills please" said his mother when the were back home, after a quick stop at the pharmacy.

He swallowed the white oval pill and the small pink one, with a glass of milk. Then he went to go see what Bianca was up to. He wanted to avoid Josh. When he turned to go into his sister's room, Kathalene smiled. Dr. Stone was right. He really was a girl inside.

 

* * *

 

Josh was so happy. He had made Ryan get into so much trouble! And now he knew how to hack his brother's diary. He could get him in more trouble if he ever got in his face again.

When Ryan came into their room later, Josh was triumphant.

"Don't ever be mean to me again, or I'll really get you in hot water" he said.

"Sure" said Ryan. "Whatever. I'm sorry I got in a fight with you."

Ryan was determined to be on his best behavior around his brother. He would do anything to avoid another trip into the clinic.

 

* * *

 

"What's going on?" said Josh, about a year later, as his mother started to box up all of Ryan's things.

"Josh, remember when you found your brother's diary, about how he wanted to be a girl?"

"Yes?" said Josh.

"Well, now the time has come. I don't know if you've noticed, but he is developing breasts. He is becoming a girl, just like your sister."

"What do you mean, he's becoming a girl?"

"Inside, he is a girl already. From now on, you are to call him 'Tammie'. He is going to start dressing as a girl all the time, and soon he will have his surgery."

"You mean?"

"Yes. He will *be* a girl, from now on. Now go clean your room. It's yours now, since Tammie will be in Bianca's room from now on."

 

Josh was in shock. His little joke had snowballed out of control. Now he had lost his bother. Ryan was Tammie now, and was going to be his sister! He turned pale as he thought over what he had done. It was supposed to get his brother in trouble, not turn him into a real girl! He felt a sudden panic set over him. What had he done?

He ran to tell Bianca, and ask her what to do. She was the oldest. She would know what was best. But she just laughed it off when he said, it, telling him to quit telling lies, and to go to his room. Josh went, and buried his head under his pillow. They were turning his brother into a girl, and it was all his fault.

 

* * *

 

"Mom, come quickly!" said Bianca.

"What is it dear?" she said.

"You see this? That little runt is wearing my bras again."

"Tammie, don't take your sister's clothes without asking!" yelled Kathalene.

"Not Tammie mother, it's Josh. He's worse than Ryan was. I heard him talking the other day. He wants to become a girl like Tammie, so he can start dating guys. What a nut! You had better get him to see Dr. Stone before he does something stupid on his own.

 

Bianca watched as her parents forced Josh to sit in the car, while they drove him off to the clinic. Things were so much better at home, now that she was down to just one brother. And if Josh could set things in motion to turn Ryan into Tammie, than it wasn't out of line for her to do the same thing to him. Soon, she would have *two* sisters, and things would be very nice at home indeed.

"Dr. Stone. My parents are on the way with Josh. Yes. He's just like Ryan, only worse. He told me that he really wishes that he was a girl too. He says he wants to date boys, and would you *please* put him on the pills like his sister Tammie. He is *so* jealous of her! He wears my clothes, he reads my magazines and he goes around all day with my bra on. Please help him like you did Tammie. He needs it."

"Thank you Bianca" said Dr. Stone. "I'll put him on the fast track, once I confirm his diagnosis."

"Thank *you* Dr. Stone. Thank you."

 

Bianca hung up the phone, her work done. Soon, Josh would be a girl too, and they could be one happy family together. Now if only she could think of a way to help her father become a woman too, her world would be perfect....

  

  

  

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