From Prick to Princess

by Danker

 

I was 16 years old 5' 4" long brown hair living in N.Y.C. my mom works for the garment district and is not home much. My dad was killed in a mugging right before I was born and mom never remarried. I had a lot of time to myself and growing up I was always picked on till I was 12 years old when I joined the gang. I have been arrested 8 times for selling drugs and armed robbery. At 14 I spent 6 months in juvenile hall, thank god 3 of my brothers were in there with me or I would have been some ones bitch.

I never went to school that much and if I did it was to settle a score or the make some cash. A week before school was officially was over mom told me she had to go overseas for the summer. She told me "because I could not be trusted I was going to stay with a friend of hers about an hour north of the city. I hope you can behave yourself while you are there, if I have to come home early and I lose my job because of you, your life will be HELL till you are 18. I am sick of always bailing you out of trouble and you have cost me over $100,000 in lawyer fees and the till has run dry. When I get back right before Labor Day we will talk about how you behaved over the summer and I will decide what I am going to do to you." I said, " you don't need to fuckin have some one watch me, I am old enough to stay by myself" and walked out.

The next morning I walked in to the apartment and mom was there and yelling, "where the hell have you been?" "Out with my friends". As the next week went by and the day before I was suppose to go to my mom's friends I got arrested for selling crack. Mom came down to the police station and said, " I will help you one more time but you will go to Kathy's and be a perfect person or I will leave you here and make sure that you get at least a year in jail since you are 16 now." I agreed just to get out. As we walked to the car mom told me I will be very polite to Kathy and her 3 daughters and I don't want to hear anything else or I will have the police get you and revoked your bail. I didn't like the sound of that.

We drove for an hour and we finally got there, I asked mom where the nearest town was, her comment was far, far away. Mom had packed my suitcase before she got from jail, so got the suitcase out of the car a walked up to the door with her and rang the bell. The door opened and a lady 6'3" blonde and very fit and said, " Linda it is so good to see you and this must be Jack you were telling me about" " Yes this is Jack and I had for the last time to bail him out of jail this morning, he promised me he was going to behave while he is here" she said. I mumbled "HI" she could tell I didn't want to be there. She invited us in and told me to put down my suitcase and follow me.

We walked into the living room and there were 3 girls in it reading and got up said hello in unison. My mom said hello to each of the girls and gave them each a box and said that these are the new fashions for the summer for her line. They said," thank you and gave her a hug. Kathy said. " This is Fran she is the oldest and just graduated high school" she was over 6 foot tall with blonde hair and very muscle bound. " This is Jen she is 15 and the other is Samantha she is 13". Sam was and inch taller then Jen and me were 5'8" they took the looks of their mom and the athletic build too. My mom had to go and all the girls thanked and hugged her again and I just said bye in a nasty tone. Kathy walked her to the car and I saw mom give her an envelope and she left.

Kathy called me in to the kitchen and asked if I would like some tea. I said no but she made some for herself. She sat down and said, " I know about all the trouble you have been in and that is why you are here while your mom is gone. We have rules in this house and I expect you to obey each and everyone. If you go out you tell me where you are going, you will keep your room spotless, help with the house work, and respect each others space. Your mom gave me cash to take you shopping for some clothes so you look presentable when with us in public. With that said let me show you your room." I grabbed the suitcase and walked upstairs and saw the room I was going to stay in. it was painted pink and had pink curtains with flowers on them. The dresser was white with three pink stripes and the bed of course matched the rest of the room pink blanket and sheets with mermaids on it. I started to unpack and saw only 2 pairs of pants and 2 shirts and I was stunned, these were the clothes mom bought me and was buried in my closet on the floor. I only wore jeans and t-shirts and these were slacks and dress shirts.

After I put it all away I went downstairs it was close to lunch and asked where the TV was and the girls giggled. Jen said, " We don't have a TV I rots the brain". I am thinking in the boondocks and no TV this summer is going to suck unless I can get in Fran's panties. Then Kathy called us in for lunch, a Caesar salad " I don't eat salads is there anything else I could have". "You will eat what is put in front of you and if you don't finish it, you will have it for your next meal" she said. I got up and said, " FUCK YOU I AM NOT EATING THIS SHIT" and started to walk away. Kathy grabbed me by the ear and dragged me to the bathroom and as I was crying she shoved a bar of soap in my mouth and pulled my pants down and over her knee. She used a hairbrush on my ass and held my hands in on hand. This bitch was strong and when I spit the soap out she put it in farther in my mouth. " I don't tolerate that kind of language in my house or the disrespect you just showed me. You will stand in the corner with the soap in your mouth till I think you learned your lesson." She said. I had tears running down my face and I pulled up my underwear and pants, then she took me to the den put me in the corner.

I heard the girls giggling in the kitchen and when they finished Kathy came in and took the bar of soap and asked me " what do you have to say about your actions?" I thought about what to say and mumbled I'm sorry, " sorry for what? And don't mumble I can't here you " again I said " I'm sorry for the language I used" "AND" she said. My reply was " for the disrespect I showed you" she had a small smile on her face and said " today is your day to clean the kitchen, so go in it and clean it and call me when you are done so I can inspect it" I was in shock I don't clean " I don't do women's work" I told her. Now she was pissed and put me over her knee again but this time all the girls were there watching and she asked Fran to get the brush. I tried to get away but she was to strong and she pulled my pants down waiting from Fran to comeback while my bare ass was exposed for the other girls to see. When Fran came back and handed her mother the brush she WHACKED me over and over till I was crying like a baby and told to stand in the corner as I got off her knees I started to pull up my underwear and she said leave them down in case I need to do it again." I went to the corner and "I heard Sam I thought gangsters are suppose to be tough, I could probably put the baby over my knee, he is such a wimp" they all laughed. Kathy asked the girls to "clean up the kitchen now and he will do it for the next 3 days to thank you for doing for him now". They left for the kitchen.

She told that this better be the end of it and tomorrow we are going shopping and I better not embarrass her. I was left standing in the corner with my pants down around my knees I was thinking I need to get out of here jail has to be better. At 6 p.m. Kathy came in and said, " Pull your pants up and get changed for dinner". I went upstairs to change I didn't want to get in any more trouble. I sat at the table and they were having a small salad and chicken with cook veggies and had I the Caesar salad left over from lunch. I asked if I could have some chicken instead if the salad. Kathy said, "No, you have gut and need to learn how to eat properly. For now on you will eat only what I give you till we get you to a proper weight". I said, " I don't need to lose any weight I feel fine and I want so real food". Jen said, " you are fat I bet you need to lose 30-40 lbs.". Kathy told her to be quiet. Kathy told the girls and I " would be going shopping in the morning after breakfast be cause Jack needs clothes, his mother threw all his clothes away and you girls can get some stuff too". WHAT!!! I said. "Oh don't worry I got your others clothes after you changed and put them in the garbage." She told me. I was stunned and I though before opening my mouth, I could still feel my ass whenever I moved it. I just looked down and finished my dinner.

I asked if I could go to my room when I finished and Kathy said, " No, you need to clean the kitchen up". I got up and started to clean the pots and pans then the dishes. While I was doing that they had tea and talked about what they going to get tomorrow. When I was done with the dishes I asked if I could go and she said, " you didn't do the counters, table and the floor". After I did the counter and table they left and I did the floor. When I finished it took me an hour and a half to do it all and I call for Kathy and she told me to go in the den for a game.

I got in the den and the girls were sitting at the table and Jen said, " Have a seat we are waiting for you". I sat down and they explained to me how to play scrabble. As we played all 3 of them were very smart and all I could spell correctly was IT AT THE etc… I asked them what they do for fun. Jen answered " we play scrabble every night, we also play other games, we have a lot of tea parties, but are favorite is doing makeovers on each other". I'm saying to myself " this fuckin sucks, I need to get out of here".

They didn't ask me too much, I think Kathy and my mom filled them in. after the game was over I got and went outside for a walk, big mistake. I walked to the end of the driveway and I knew the nearest store was about 10 miles away to freedom. I was thinking that I could call one of my brothers go come and get me, so I started walking. After I got about 2 miles a car came up from behind Kathy and me was yelling at me to get in the car and I refused. Fran got out took me by my arm and dragged me in kicking and screaming you fuckin bitch get the fuck off me. Jen grabbed my arms and Fran held my feet and I was unable to move. We got back to the house and they carried to bathroom and stripped me of my clothes. Kathy started a bath and threw some liquids in it and told me to get in it I ran to it to cover my nakedness in front of the 3. Jen was giggling.

As I got in the tub Kathy ask Jen to help her and Fran told me to sit there for 10 minutes. After about 10 minute Fran using a washcloth all over my body and yes I was stiff. I was thinking this isn't so bad and just wish she would join me in here. As she was rubbing my member over and over again I came and she smiled at me and said, " a new record 30 seconds" then she told me to stand up. She dried me off and pulled out some weird device. She said, " you better stand still while I put this on or I will the living day lights out of you". I shook as she said that. As I looked down she was putting my balls and dick in some type pouch with a little hole in it and put a lock on it. While she was doing this I was stunned all of my pubic hair was gone, all that time growing it and now it was all gone. There you go she said and took my hand and took me to another room on the floor.

I heard the others talking as we got closer and Fran opened the door, I saw it and couldn't move. Fran picked me up like a baby and bought me in and set me on top of a table. Kathy then stepped up to the table lifted my legs high so my ass was off the table and Sam gave her a lager diaper and she put under me. Before she did the diaper she put oil over my ass and some baby power as I was kicking and crying like a baby. I heard Sam say to Jen "she's playing her role to the tee" and they giggled.

After I was diapered I was screaming " you can't do this to me you stupid cock suckin….." then a pacifier went into my mouth and it had an awful taste. Fran tied it around my head so I couldn't get it out Kathy picked me up and set me down in this over sized crib and put on a pink pajamas with enclosed feet and mittens built in. On the front was a big heart and in the middle of it is said " MOMMIES LITTLE PRINCESS". I tried to talk but the pacifier in my mouth it came out like baby noises. She closed the top of the crib and locked it.

She pulled a chair up to the crib and asked the girls to leave. " Ok I'm telling you this for your own good so listen carefully. Your mom and I have been friends for years and I couldn't believe what she was telling me but now I believe everything she told me. I was giving you the benefit first but you disrespect everyone and this world doesn't run around you. If you want to act like a baby you will treat like one as you see we already took that step. I told your mom what I needed for clothes in your size and her company made them for you. I hope you learn to respect others or your butt will be red and that includes anyone. The one you disrespect will give you a spanking and I don't care if they are 6 years old your diapers or panties will get pulled down so your naked butt gets spanked. This is step one and it will last a week at least and that is up to you. Don't even think of holding in your urine and bowel functions, you are not allowed to use the toilet till your get potty trained. With those words said I'm going the say goodnight and when I wake you in the morning we will talk." She walked out and shut the door.

My mine was zooming thinking about what was just said and what just happen to me. I feel like a caged dog in the crib I couldn't even sit up. I tried to get the pajamas off but the mittens prevented me to do it after 15 minutes I laid on my back hoping this was a dream and this nightmare to end and I finally fell asleep an hour later I guess. In the middle of the night I needed to pee but I couldn't get up to do it. I held it in as long as I could but I finally wet myself. Nobody came in for hours to change me and the diaper was wet and cold. I started to fart and had to take a shit and I didn't know long till someone was going to come in. I could hold it anymore and let it go now the room stunk and my pajamas were wet. My diapers couldn't hold anymore.

Finally Kathy came in and smelt the stench and changed me in the bathtub. She used the showerhead to clean me off then dried me and carried me to the changing table. I was just so glad to get out of the cold wet slimy diapers. She put a new one on me and told me to sit in the chair. She took off the pacifier and asked me if I thought about what she said. I nodded yes, I was afraid to talk. She told me that I could talk and to tell her what I thought about since last night.

I started off by saying, " I'm sorry about my attitude last night. I really didn't mean what I said. Please forgive me!" I figured I would lay it on thick and when I get a chance I'll book. As I was looking at her she said, "and is that it or is there more" I thought for a few minutes to get the wording right. " I will respect everyone and if I don't I understand the consequences." As I was thinking she said, " anything else" " I will not leave the house without your permission and I will obey you at all times" I finished with. She replied, " I hope you mean everything you just said and I have the only key to that chastity belt so don't get any ideas of screwing my daughters. I see how you look at all of them. Now here are your new ground rules for you. From now on you can only crawl and you can't talk either. You will speak only in baby talk. When you let your bowels go is the only time you will be changed and you will need to cry or it will not be changed. You will eat and drink everything given to you each time you disobey orders time can/will be extended in this phase plus a good spanking. Do you understand or have any questions?" I was shaking at what she was saying and I knew she could see it.

I had a few questions to ask her " yes, I do. First I want to know how long I have to be like this and can I get time off for good behavior. I also would like to know how many phases there are?" she told me, " I have not thought about time off for good behavior so I will see and 4 phases on an eight week period but could be longer." I dropped my head down in shame, as she finished. I'm thinking to myself what to do to get out of this mess so until I do I have to play the game and must think of it as a game. " Anymore questions," she asked and I said " goo goo ga ga" and she smiled and said "Good". She went to the closet and came back with a baby blue dress with a rainbow with stars above it and a pink teddy bear sitting on the ground with a rattle in it's hand. She put the dress down and underneath was a pair of rubber panties with a lock on it. She put them on me and then the dress was very short so everyone could see my diapers. We went down for breakfast and she carried me down the stairs and put me on the floor.

As I crawled into the kitchen all the girls started commenting on how cute I looked, as I was turning bright red from embarrassment. Fran picked me up and put me in the high chair and locked the tray in place. While the girls sat to eat their eggs, Kathy put a bib on me and started to feed me strained baby food. It was the grossest stuff I ever eat and the worst part was the girls were eating eggs in front me making gestures how good the eggs were. After a few spoonfuls it didn't taste as bad and when I finish two jars she wiped me mouth.

I was put on the floor and was told to go to the playpen as I crawled my knees were hurting. Sam was having fun with this patting me on the behind as I crawled, the humiliation was the worst. I crawled into the playpen and Sam lifted the side up, and handed me the rattle shaking it. As I was trying to think I should the rattle to make her happy but her baby comments kept my train of thought off.

After an hour of her teasing me and I had tears pouring out when Fran came in and handed a bottle. Fran told Sam to stop it she needs her baba. She told me " mommy says to finish your baba". As I sucked on the baba to get the fluid out and it was sour tasting, then I found out it was formula. I had to shit again but Fran and Sam were sitting right there so I held it in until I was alone but that time didn't come soon. I finish the baba and Fran picked me up and was patting me on my back and lifting me up and down trying to burp me. When I burped my ass exploded and she dropped me on the hardwood floor. I started crying and she apologized to me with her saying that she wasn't expecting that. She picked me up and cooed me and took me to the bathroom and took off my dress. Once I was in the tub she unlocked the rubber panties and pulled them off and the smell overwhelmed us. It was so embarrassing the girl I wanted to fuck is changing my diaper, once I was sprayed off with the showerhead she dried me. She carried me to the changing table oiled, baby powered my rear and front then sealed the diaper. She went to the dresser and got a pair of pink rubber panties and pull out a dress out of the closet. She put on the rubber panties and locked them. Then she put on a pink dress with tropical fish all over it with layers and layers of petticoats built in. she went back to the dresser and got a bonnet and booties and put them on.

We went downstairs and Kathy gave me a list of house chores to do. She said, " do everything on the list and you can stand to do them, any questions you stand I front of Fran and she will tell you to speak. I'm taking Sam and Jen shopping since you don't need any clothes yet we'll go another time. Now be a good girl for Fran".

I looked at the list and it said to do all the bathrooms, I went in front of Fran lying on the couch and stood. After about 2 minutes she said speak " where can I find the bathroom cleaners" she took my hand and showed me to a closet that had all the cleaning supplies I will need. As I just stood there looking at all the different cleaners she asked if I need and help getting the right supplies and I nodded yes. " Good you are understanding what you need to do. Now let go to the bathroom and you can start. We went to Kathy bathroom in her bedroom first. I was there for thirty minutes cleaning and when I was done I stood in front of her. She asked if I was done and I nodded yes. She wasn't to happy with it and put my face near some hairs on the floor the soap build up in the tub, showed me the smudges against the mirror and took my head and shoved my face in the toilet so I could get a close up look. When she stopped I stood with my face dripping from toilet water and she said I'm going to give you one more chance to do it right. I spent at least an hour in there before Fran came in and saw me scrubbing the toilet and look around the bathroom and said " A much better job then before let finish that up and go to the next one" I gathered up all the stuff and followed her and I started to do hers in her bedroom.

It took me an hour to do her small bathroom she is a slob and when she walked in the check it and she gave me a bottle and I was shocked orange juice I sucked on it forcefully. Then I was taken to the bathroom I use with Jen and Sam, this bathroom wasn't to bad it only took 45 minutes and Fran was happy. The downstairs bathroom only took 20 minutes. I looked at the list and as I read it next was vacuum the whole house. When I finished the vacuuming she gave me another bottle of orange juice and put me in the playpen.

5 minutes later she came back with tea for her and pulled and chair up to the playpen. She said, " I want to talk to you and you may speak at anytime but don't interrupt me." I replied after a few seconds to make sure she was done. " Yes Fran I understand and I'm sorry about last night and I hope you forgive me". She said, " I accept your apology. Have you ever helped out your mom do anything around the house and I mean anything?" I commented " Honestly, when I was younger mom asked me to do certain thing and I learn if I did a shit job she would never ask me again" she had a understanding look on her face. " I want to know how and why you got into the gang and even after you get arrested and spent time in a detention. Why did you go back?" I thought for a bit to get the answer right " well I joined the gang when I was twelve, I always was picked on in school because of my size. Not having my dad around I was a momma's boy, I was approached by 2 of my future brothers to join and no one will bother you again. That was the kicker but I went to the club hangout and I was asked if I wanted to join. I have fun with the other members but I had to shoot some one harassing the club. I was scared but I shot the guy in the chest and I was told he died 2 days later. In my mind the only way I deal with it was I took a scumbag off the street." I had tears running down my face remembering the moment like it just happened. I felt so ashamed I couldn't even look at her. " You are the only one besides my brothers that know about it. Once in a club there is no way out for a young kid but they take care of you. My mom was always working and I spent a lot of time with a nanny or by myself, so it was also the company. When I went to the detention center for 6 months 3 of my brothers were there with me so that wasn't to bad no bothered us." She stopped me, " I don't mean to interrupt you but why are you telling me all this? " you have been the nicest to me and I need to get it all out and I am hoping you don't tell anyone cause I could go away of life". She sat silent for a few minutes. She asked me to hold on for a minute and left.

She came back with an apple and she handed it to me and told me, " Eat it quick before they get back". I didn't need to be told twice, I devoured in last then 1 minute. I handed her the core and thanked her very much and she put it in the garbage and when she came back I started again. " Since I was so young when I was arrested they always let me off with and fine or a slap on the wrist. I have been involved with numerous beat downs were people dies or was paralyzed. The last time I got caught with 1 ounce of cocaine and 25 rocks so this time I think I'm going to jail for years." I started crying hard and Fran got some tissues and rubbed my back and said I was going to be ok and everything will work out. As I was crying and she consoling me the front door opened and they were back from shopping and it was after 6 p.m. Fran told me not to talk anymore.

Fran went to greet them and the girls took their new clothes upstairs. I heard Kathy ask Fran how I did today and I her say lets talk in the kitchen. 20 minutes later the girls came down and went to the kitchen for dinner and Kathy came in and gave me a bottle and sat in the chair that Fran was in. as I sucked on the bottle of milk and she started talking. " Fran was impressed with you, don't worry we are not here to get you in more trouble. We are trying to help and as soon as you realize that you will be better off. She told me that after being with you today that you could change your ways. Then hearing what you said to her and I know there is more. She believed what you told her was sincere. I don't want to talk to you about now with the girls in the house but tomorrow Fran will talk to you more in private. That night at 7:30 p.m. I was put sleep in the crib and I feel asleep pretty quick.

I didn't know what time it was but my butt exploded and I cried hoping someone would here me after 15 minutes Kathy came in and put me in the tub and sprayed me down but this time she took off the chastity belt. I got stiff as soon as it came off she soap the area up and sprayed me. After she dried me off she went to put the belt back on and smacked the head of my dick and it went limp. Looking at her watch it was only 9:39 p.m. and she put on the belt diapered me and put me back in the crib. She didn't lock the top this time and said goodnight and shut the door.

I woke up around 6 a.m. just laying there staring at the ceiling till someone came in to get me. Fran came in put a pink dress with kittens on it with booties and bonnet. We went down for breakfast and I ate 2 jars of stained baby food and was told to clean the kitchen then my only other chore today was dust the whole house. I got done around 1 p.m. and Kathy took out the girls for lunch, Fran stayed behind. After they left Fran made herself a salad and a peanut butter sandwich and asked me to follow her. As I started to crawl behind her she told me to walk. We went to patio table and sat down. She said, " since we have some time together alone you can talk to me as a friend". That was nice to hear and she handed me the peanut butter sandwich. I thanked her and ate.

After we both ate she asked me to continue from yesterday. I started " you don't realize how tough it is for a young boy like me in the city. At first doing things they asked seemed hard but after a while it was just routine. Like the first time I raped a chick, I was hesitant at first but I didn't care about her feelings when I started and just used her like a piece of meat. To get her to stop moving I hit her in the head like 6 times before she stopped moving." As I was talking I was getting harder to hold back the tears. I looked at Fran and she had a disgusted look on her faced. " I know want I did was wrong but I was pressured into it. I know I have ruin many lives and I see it but living where I am I can't get out of the club. Over the years of loyalty to the club I stepped up knowing a lot of information, so the only way out of the club is to be DEAD, either in a fight or by the members. All women were put on this earth for 3 things cook, clean and fuck whenever we want. If I was walking down the street and saw a girl I wanted to screw I would grab her and drag her into the alley and if she fought back I would beat the hell out of her then use her and go about my business not even thinking about what I just did." I don't know what is coming over me I was just blurting anything out and I don't know why. " I remember one robbery me and 3 other guys did. We broke into a house on Long Island and the husband and wife were sleeping. We cuffed the husband first and dragged him into the closet and we raped his wife over and over. He was screaming for us to stop so we took a pair of socks and put it in his mouth and taped it shut. Then we tried him to the radiator and we each did his wife again. Then we made him open the safe and then shot him in the head. Then 2 of them went back into the room and plugged her again and warned her not to say who we were or the rest of her family will be like her husband, and then we left with 10lbs. of cocaine and $150,000. I know it got out of hand but we go alone with everything or it shows a sign of weakness."

She stopped me and said, "that's enough, I here anymore of this, you need to take a nap". I got up as we walked upstairs and I said, " please don't hate me". I got no response from her. She put me in the crib and left without saying a word. I was crying that I was going to get in more trouble, which is strange I haven't cried in years and here seems like ever minute I am. It took me a while but I finally I fell asleep. Kathy was shaking me to wake up as I was in a daze she told me to get up and follow her.

I followed her to the den and my mother there; I was so embarrassed crawling in a diaper and a dress. My mom looked at me in disgust and Kathy asked me to sit on the couch. Fran, Kathy and mom were sitting across from me and Kathy started talking " the other day when you and Fran talked I was very disturbed. I called your mom to find out how much she knew. You hid most of it pretty well, and then listening to Fran today I was dumbfounded. The 3 of us talked about it and our plan has change. First of all your mother was never going away that was just an excuse to get you here, I'm a psychologist and hearing what I'm hearing is not what I expected. We know you would try to fight us at the beginning and was expecting a little more of a fight. For some reason you felt safe with Fran and opened up to her more then she wanted to know. She also said that you did feel some remorse as you told the stories you couldn't stop crying. Like I told you, we are not going to police but we want to help you. We came up with a better plan for you and I think you should seriously consider it. I want to talk to a lawyer in N.Y.C. about getting you immunity for your crimes. We want you to give everything up from the rapes you witnessed, drug trafficking, robberies, money laundering and murders. From what you told Fran just what you did before she stopped you we know there is a lot more. I also want you to spend the rest of the summer here while your mom is moving to a house just over the bridge in New Jersey. During the summer you will learn how to help around the house and that means to learn to cook healthily and we get you up to speed in your schoolwork. Think about what I said and you can give me an answer when you're ready". I got up and ran to my mom and hugged her and said, " I'm really sorry mom, and if I do this they will kill me and anyone close to me." As I started crying again.

Kathy asked Fran to take me into the kitchen for dinner. I was given a salad and as I was finishing it my mom came in and said " I have to go but think about what she said it could be a new life for you and me. I love you!" and gave me a hug and I told her I loved her too. When she let go of me I saw a tear running down her cheek. Kathy walked her out to her car. I thought about it for 2 more days and Fran talked to me but not about my past anymore only about my future. The days were the same as the others.

I woke up Saturday morning at breakfast I stood in front of Kathy waiting for permission to speak and she asked me " what's on your mine? You may speak". I told her " It is a tough decision because I have been involved with snitches. One time we drove down to Georgia and killed his family and him so it is a very one for me." She asked " how involved the gang was around the country" I responded some but mainly the tri-state area. If I can get immunity and in the witness protection program I would do it." Kathy threw another twist, which I was not thrilled about. She wanted me to meet all the girls I raped over the years to apologize to them face to face. I figured if I did that maybe they could forgive me for doing it to them. I agreed to do it and she gave me pancakes for breakfast what a treat.

After breakfast I went upstairs with Fran she had me strip in the bathroom and take a shower. While I was the shower she put some clothes on the bed and yell in the bathroom " your clothes are on the bed get dressed and come down. I got out dried my self off and I thought my clothes would be there but instead it was a pair of baby blue thong panties with matching bra, baby blue sun dress with daisies all over it, anklet socks, white stockings and a pair of 3" heels. I struggled with hooks on the bra but finally got it connected and finished getting dressed. The clothes felt different and I was starting to get hard just feeling the clothes and I was in tremendous pain. I walked downstairs stumbling from the shoes.

When I got into the kitchen Kathy told me she called her lawyer and that later he will come on to talk to you. You are going to Phase II today and you will learn to act like a lady. Until then here is a book I want you to read and write a report on it. I took the book and went into the living room to read it. It was a hardy boys book.

After we ate lunch the doorbell rang and it was my mom. I ran up to her to give her a hug but I fell half way there tripping over my shoes. When I got said asked if I was ok. 15 minutes later the doorbell rang again and it was Paul Finstein her lawyer. He starts to explain how it was going to work. I knew some of the names of law enforcement on the bankroll and he said he had a friend in the F.B.I gang division, I asked his name. When he told me it I turned white and everyone asked me what was the matter. I staid quiet for a few minutes, I was scared he was working for them. I got up and left and said I can't do it. I went back to reading the book.

I heard the door close and Kathy and mom came in and asked what happened. I told them the friend of his is on their payroll and I can't trust him. I think we are all in danger; he is going to tell them were I am. I started to shake uncontrollably. Can you get a list of all the investigators for the gang division? Kathy said it shouldn't be too hard. Now my mom knew how deep I was in.

Kathy went to her computer and 20 minutes later she printed out a sheet and handed it to me and asked me to pick out the names I knew or recognized. As I went thru the list of about 100 I picked out 18 names and they knew how serious this is. Kathy said, " Are you trying to tell me 20% of the force is being paid by them". I nodded as I was shaking. That head of the dept I didn't know so Kathy called him and asked him to come to her house and don't tell anyone.

Tom McKinly rang to bell and introduced himself to Kathy, they walked in to the den and we started to talk. First Kathy said, " what he is going to tell you he needs to have full immunity or he can't say a word" his reply was " I can't guarantee anything till I get something too back it up". I jumped in and asked mom and Kathy to leave, Kathy refused and my mom didn't want to go but she knew she didn't want to hear any of it.

I started to them about rival gang member that we took him to Delaware killed him and cut his head off and sent it to his gang by Fed Ex. Kathy got up and ran to the bathroom. He asked me if I was there and I told him yes. Then I gave him the list Kathy printed out with the names circled that is on their payroll. He told me he would check these allegations out and if they are true then we have a deal. Kathy came back in as we finished are talk and he said he will call with in 48 hours. We thanked him and walked him to his car.

Kathy told me dinner was almost ready and Sam will help me pick something for dinner to wear. As we went upstairs she wasn't teasing me anymore and she said, " I have an outfit that you would look great in". We went to her room and she hand me a red blouse with rhinestones going down the sleeves and a matching skirt. Then we went to my room and she pulled out nude stockings and got the red shoes from the closet. I haven't realize it till now my gut was gone I think I am too skinny. I could believe I fit Sam's clothes and they felt much different then the other ones.

I finished getting dressed and knocked on Sam's door and Jen opened it and invited me in and told that's the outfit looks great on but first we now to do your and makeup. They asked me to sit down in the chair and they were having so much fun doing this to me after an hour they braided my hair, put acrylic nails on and painted them red like the outfit. They plucked my eyebrows a little and put on eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, blush and lipstick. It was nearly 7:30 p.m. and we went down for dinner. Jen taught me how to walk down stairs in high heels, it was tricky but I was able to do it.

When I got in the kitchen for dinner mom got up and said I look gorgeous and she gave me hug. She also told me she was glad I was willing to change and go thru with testifying. We sat down to eat and after dinner my mom asked me to come in the other room and I followed. We sat down and she said, " I hope you appreciate what Kathy is doing for you. I had no idea how involved you were in, when I heard Kathy throwing up in the bathroom and asked if she felt alright, she told me that you and EX FRIENDS cut off a head and sent it to his gang. I ashamed I didn't see any of the signs; I know it was because I was not home. I have bought a new house in Jersey and when Kathy thinks it fine for you to leave here. I know you aren't dumb but you never applied yourself to school and here is an opportunity for you to catch up and have a fresh start in the fall. I'm really sorry for not being there". I walked over and gave her a hug and said, " you didn't make my choices I did and I'm glad I won't be going back". Kathy came in and asked if either of wanted tea. We both said please.

Everyone came into the living room for tea and we talked but not about me. Jen was talking about this boy she like and I couldn't believe how open she was with her feeling. Her mom listened and gave advice; I could never talk sex like they did with my mom. What would I say to her, " hey mom I just raped the cute girl today" I laughed in my head. It was a relaxing night compared to others. Mom spent the night and I was able to sleep in a real bed again. I was tried so I said goodnight and went upstairs and Jen followed me. She told me to hang all my clothes up and she picked a baby doll nightgown for me to wear to bed and said goodnight. I put on the nightgown and felt really nice against my skin. When I got in bed I slid in and I took me time sometime to fall asleep I was trying to get an erection but couldn't and it was painful.

The next morning got up and put a robe on and went downstairs. No one was up yet, so I didn't know what to do. I decided to surprise them by getting breakfast started, I grabbed some apples, oranges, peaches, and bananas and cut them up in a bowl for a fruit cup and put some blueberries in it afterwards. I set the table next and no one was still up. I started to cook a western omelet for me and Kathy came out of her room smelled something cooking. Before she saw who was in the kitchen she said, "Fran your up early what's for…….." she saw me and stopped talking. I said, " good morning and asked her if she was hungry". She said yes and I gave her the one I was cooking for myself. I started another one for me and put whole wheat bread in the toaster. When the toast was done I gave her 2 slices and I sat when my omelet was done and Kathy and I talked while we ate and asked how did I know had to make western omelets. I told her, " when I woke up I had nothing to do so I cut up the fruit and still no one was up I looked in a cooking book for a recipe for eggs and western omelets looked easy enough. She said, " if you can follow a recipe and have it taste this good then we will have to teach you how to cook dinners, maybe you can cook dinner tonight. One by one they each came down for breakfast and when Kathy told them that I did all by myself they stunned but no one more then my mother.

At 10 a.m. that morning the phone rang and Kathy spoke for a couple of minutes and when she hung up she told me to get dressed and the girls will help you with your hair and make up. When I was ready before I went downstairs I just admired myself in the mirror and Sam and Jen were giggling but I didn't care anymore. I a silk sun dress that touch my skin gave me shivers and that pain I was experiencing that pain again, it has been over a week since I was able to cum. I wanted to ask Kathy to take it off so I could masturbate but I was too ashamed to ask.

When I got downstairs Kathy and mom were talking to Tom from the F.B.I. I walked in and they asked me to have a seat. As I sat and Tom said, " after I left I was unsure of what you were saying was true. I did some investigating and I found 2 of the ones on the list have made phone calls on their cell phones to the gang. Those calls were made the day before a bust was going down and turned out to be a bogus bust. I have 5 of my investigators watching them and I know I can trust them and collecting information on them. I am the only one that knows about you but I would like you to show me the body in Delaware and I will guarantee immunity." I looked at mom and Kathy and they gave me a look like I should do it I told him I would do it if Kathy or Fran came with me. Kathy said she would go because she knew how Fran felt about it.

We got in his car it took about 3 hours to get there. I told him so much stuff. He told me "if everything is true, you will make my career". I looked at Kathy and she looked sick to her stomach. I got out and Tom got out and grabbed a shovel and we went to the area and dug up the body and reburied it. When we got back to the car and headed I guess I should say home. Tom told us he would be by at 8 a.m. the next morning with papers drawn up by the D.A. William Waters. He asked me if I ever heard that name and I said NO, he then asked if I mind if he came with him and again I said NO. When we got back too the house we got out and Kathy asked if he would like to stay for dinner since it was close and he accepted.

We sat down for dinner my mom asked how everything went and Kathy got up and went to throw up again. Tom made one comment only about the subject " Linda, your son is very smart and they must have seen it him. If everything is true for what he can be a witness to we are looking at 300 people and over 15,000 years in jail and has the possibility or closing down one of the major gangs completely. That is all I can say right now about the subject. I want to know why he is dressed as a girl". Kathy came back and sat down and explained what her was plain but some of this information came out and threw me off my course. After dinner he thanked us for having him and said see you in the morning. After he left I went to my room to sleep I was exhausted.

In the morning I woke up and put on my male clothes that were in the closet and went downstairs I didn't like the way the clothes rubbed against my skin. I want to put on a dress right now and I can't even believe I'm thinking that. I was too nervous to eat breakfast. When Kathy saw me she asked me why I was wearing those clothes. I told her I just wanted to look normal for when the D.A. gets here. She said, " Fine but once they leave you must get changed" I said, " yes ma'am".

At 8 a.m. the doorbell rang and I opened it and Tom introduced me to Bill. Bill had a camcorder with him and we went to the living room. Bill asked if I would be willing to do a video of the encounters so we can get everyone that is dirty. He set the camcorder up and said when ever I was ready. I started from the day I became a member and I stopped after the second year in the club for lunch. I was just talking away I didn't even know it was 3 p.m. they were amazed I remembered so much detail. After lunch we went back till 10 p.m. and I still haven't finished. Kathy asked them if they wanted too spent the night and because they a long drive and they accepted. She set up in the guest room downstairs, and I went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. I slept till 8:30 a.m. and was shaken awake by Sam and went in for a shower.

I was in a dilemma I wanted to feel comfortable but we were doing the video so I decided to wear a pleaded skirt that stop at my knees and a plain black blouse and went downstairs. Kathy and mom seemed happy I was wearing a skirt and blouse. After breakfast we went to do more testimony. We finally finished about 6 p.m. that night and after dinner they left and said " thank you for all of your hospitality and I will bring 2 agents over tomorrow just as a security precaution. I said thank you and they left.

My mom told me " I asked Tom last night to see the videos and I looked at some of them last night, and now I'm glad I did this for you or you would be dead soon. The details you gave made me sick to my stomach, as I was watching them I had to go to the bathroom to throw up. You witnessed or committed the worst acts of human nature and I can't believe I let you do it. You hid it very well except for your anger. I feel like I brought up a monster and now I have a second chance to change it. I hope you take this as a chance to start a new life, I know you won't forget but we can put it behind you." I gave her a hug and said, " thank you, I know my life has been like a real violent movie but I need to get away from it. I really appreciate your help and Kathy's. I was tried and went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up at 5 a.m. and took a showered and got dressed in a dress with polka dots and spaghetti strings and a ruffle at the bottom. I want to my makeup but I didn't have any so I looked in the bathroom and found a lipstick and eye shadow only. I put a little eye shadow on and it took a bit to get the right pressure on it so I didn't poke my eyeball out. I had 3 choices of lipstick a deep red, a pink and a color in between I used the pink cause it matched the eye shadow and my pink dress.

When I got downstairs I grabbed a cookbook to find something different for breakfast. I found a recipe for a whole wheat waffle mix and decided I would make that this morning and I found all the ingredients at mixed it up and put it in the refrigerator till they got up. There was that much juice left but there was a 5lbs. bag of oranges and started to make fresh juice. I almost had the pitcher full when Kathy came in and asked why am I making so much noise so early. " We were low on juice and I saw the oranges and making fresh juice from the oranges" I said. She then told me "its only 6:30 in the morning please keep it down". I figured there was enough anyway so I cut up some fresh fruit. I ate and went to the den the read the book she gave me to read.

My mom came down first this morning and was shocked I was reading and she said good morning darling and I got up and said good morning. What are you read sweetheart? She asked. I told her " it's the book Kathy gave me to read and do a book report on. Let make you breakfast". I went into the kitchen put some of the fruit in a bowl and get it to her. Then put the water on for tea for some reason they don't drink coffee. I poured her a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, then put the waffle mix in the waffle iron. I gave her the waffle when it was finished cooking and I sat down to ask her a favor but I didn't know how to say it. I sat down and said, " mom I would like to ask you for a favor." Ask sweetheart. " I would like to get some new clothes and makeup of my own." Her fork fell out of her hand and hit the plate. She said, " Honey if that's what you want I will be more then happy to". I asked, "If we could after Sam and Jen wake up so they could help me with my make up please." She said maybe the other might want to come with us. I said that would be great. We both had big smiles and I was wondering if mom really wanted a girl instead if a boy. I asked mom, " When you move out of the apartment did you find my cash?" what cash she said. The $80,000 I had stashed in my mattress? She dropped her fork again and said " HOW MUCH? Honey don't joke with me I put the mattress out in the dumpster". I said, " The garbage men come in the afternoon we need to go get it now please hurry". Within 5 minutes she was ready to go and I wrote a note to Kathy telling her where we went. I never saw mom drive so fast. We got to dumpster where she put it I jumped out and went into the dumpster and thank god garbage was on top of it and I grabbed the cash out of the mattress. As we were walking back to the car we ran into some of my brothers and before they harassed us mom was thinking. She asked if they have seen me in the last 2 weeks and they said " no, but we were looking for him too." If you see him let know his mother is looking for him. She said and we kept walking. After we were in the car and started driving I thanked her and asked how she came up with that one. She told me "that's what I have been asking since you were gone". I said " mom you're so smart" and she said thank you and blushed.

We got back to the house and my mom asked Kathy if I could put some cash in the safe. Her reply " sure how much do you need put in it and I opened my purse and pulled out $125,000 in hundreds and mom said, "I thought you said it was $80,000". "I was just seeing if you found it. At 12:30 p.m. the doorbell rang and Tom was there with 4 other guys. He insured us that nobody knows who you are except these two. They will set up electronic sensors around the property and do 12-hour shifts. I told him we were going shopping and he oked it. We all got in the SUV and headed towards a mall.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to get out to often once the changes are filed. Beside the agent following us we never talked about it. When we got to the mall each girl wanted to go to certain stores. I was nervous about going in but Sam and Jen each took an arm and the 3 of us walked in stride. I never knew shopping could be so hard; I must have tried on 100 outfits. As everyone was helping me carry all of my packages we went into and jewelry store and I was looking at earrings and found 2 pairs I liked and had my ears pierced, 2 holes in each ear. I asked mom if she could get me some breast forms for me but I was afraid to get them myself. As was walked past a medical supply store she went in and we waited on the bench out in front. It was nice to sit after walking in the high heels all day my feet were aching.

When we got home everyone helped me bring all of the stuff to my room. I was putting all the clothes on hangers mom came in and helped me put the forms on. She also explained this is solvent for the adhesive which I should use to take off the forms once a week and if I put a foundation type of powder around the edges it will look as real as can be. When she was finished I couldn't even tell they were fake. As I walked they were bouncing up and down, left and right with no pattern and mom told me I needed to put a bra on. I put the bra on and start to put any all the makeup away and Kathy came in with a vanity with a mirror and told me that it is a makeup table so you can do your makeup in the morning without taking all the time in the bathroom. I thanked her for it. Once everything was put away I changed in to a red satin nightgown with a v-neck and straps over the shoulder with a matching robe.

I went to the den where everyone was and Jen walked up to me grabbed my breast and said, " Wow, I wish my breast grew as fast as yours. They feel so real, don't start feeling yourself up. Kathy and Fran realized I was getting erect from the pain in my face. Kathy asked me to follow her as I did we went into the bathroom and she pulled a key from her pocket and she lifted my nightgown pulled my panties down and unlocked the belt. She said, " I want you to relieve yourself and tuck it away so no one can see it. I am going to leave it off but if you try anything not appropriate I will not hesitate to put it back on. She left me alone and I was in there forever, I got off like 5 times and when back to the den.

At the mall I got some strange looks from some of the sales girls but none of them said anything. Fran told me, " You need to work on a lot of things like walking, talking, how to apply makeup properly and act like a girl. We will point out your mistakes, a friend of mine Holly is coming over tomorrow and she will teach you and Sam colors and how to apply your makeup and she will style your hair." I thanked her. Fran seemed to more friendly today towards me but not like when I spilled my guts out to her. I really liked her but I know my past scared her. Kathy and Fran went into the kitchen to make tea for everyone and I followed them after a few minutes later to see if I could help. I heard them talking in the kitchen and Fran was asking her mother How could you take it off? Aren't you scared he is going to go after Sam or Jen? She told Fran, yes that thought has crossed my mind but look at what he has gone thru over the last 10 days. Today I was shocked by the way he acted at the mall, he tried so hard to fit in even though must ladies knew he was a he in women's clothes. I think as long as he keeps wearing women's clothing he won't be a threat. After I heard that I just went to my room and cried.

I heard a knock at the door and I didn't answer. Then Fran asked if she could talk to me and I asked why do you want to talk to me. She opened the door and sat on the bed while I was crying with my face in the pillow. She asked me to look at her and if I heard her mom and her talking in the kitchen. I shook my head while trying to compose myself. She said, " Sam and Jen have no idea the extent of your involvement with the gag and I am afraid for my families lives. It will take me a lot of time to trust you. I do feel you want to change but I know you still have the thoughts from before. I see you are trying to not have them but there are still there. On a last note I can tell you I am happy the way you acted today and we will help you so no one will even recognize you." " I don't want to be like I WAS I did enjoy myself today and to be honest when I was giving the testimony in the male clothes they didn't feel as nice as the female clothes I was wearing. I have no intension of hurting anyone any more and I hope you can believe me. When I first got here you were the only one that didn't tease me and I appreciated that. If I knew what I was telling you were going to distance us I would have never said anything. I like you as a friend and I hope up the road you will feel the same way." She said, " We will see" and left the room. I fell asleep fully clothed.

I woke up in a cold sweat from the dream I just had. I dreamt I was walking around the mall window-shopping and went outside to wait for the bus. It was dark outside and had 10 minutes till the next bus, 3 guys came from around the corner and started to make sexual comments. A van came in front of us and I was thrown into it. They ripped off my favorite satin dress I had on and I guy was sticking it up my ass and the other shoved his dick in my mouth. When I bite his thing he punched me twice and then I woke up on the side of the road naked. When a car was coming in my direction I woke up from the dream. It was 3 a.m. and I just thought about the horrible things I have done. I even cried when I thought about all the girls and put my face on theirs and I felt the pain I caused them.

I must have lost track of time at 9 a.m. Kathy walked in and saw me lying on the bed crying and asked what's the matter? I told her my dream and that I have been there thinking about it for 6 hours. She told me that I should have taken my makeup off last night and goes in for a shower and come down for breakfast. I went in for a shower I looked in the mirror and my face had rashes on it from the makeup. I put on the hair removable lotion and took my shower to wash it off. I walked to my room and put on a blue silk race back dress with rhinestones at the center of the breast, blue panties, and blue 4" stilettos. I spent an hour doing my makeup; I must have taken it off 10 times till I was able to get it to look right. When I got downstairs for breakfast I just had a bowl of cereal. Kathy walked in and asked if I was feeling better. I asked, " Kathy is it possible that I can meet some of the girls as soon as possible to apologize to them. I need to get some kind of closure or I don't know what will happen to me. I want to hear the pain I put them thru. Do you think it is possible"? " I will see what I can do" is all see said.

Holly came over and we talked for a bit and handed me a magazine with all kinds of hairstyles, I asked for help from Jen and Sam. I had so many options since my hair was half way down my back. I decided to get my hair straightened out and go blonde with auburn streaks. I was thinking if I ever needed to do any testimony and I need to look like a boy again she spent about 1½ hours on my hair was done and I loved the color. Holly told me that this style would be easy to take care of. She grabbed a towel put some cleaner on it and scrubbed my face and told me I need to take care of my skin it looks terrible. As see was explaining when to use different colors at different times of the day. She went in detail of the best order to use what kind up make up. She taught me for 3 hours how to apply all the makeup and had me do it over and over till she was happy. Once we were finish we started to go downstairs and as I walked past a full-length mirror I stopped and took two steps back. I just stared silent look at this drop dead gorgeous lady, all I heard was, Are you ok? What's the matter? Over and over and I tried to answer but couldn't. Finally I felt a pinch and it hurt, I turned and Sam was there and said " come on silly you look marvelous" and she took my hand and guided me to the den.

When we went in to the den Fran and Kathy just stared in disbelief, they asked me to spin around so they could get a good look at me. As I did I went to fast and my dress went up to high and they were able to see my erection thru my panties. Fran said, " nice panties" and got a burning sensation in my face from embarrassment. Kathy told Holly she did a great job on my hair and makeup, and Fran told her that Jackie did the makeup herself; I just showed her how to do it. Kathy came over to me and gave me a big hug and said, "I'm glad you are having fun with this".

It was dinnertime and Fran cooked tonight of course we had a salad, bass with a citrus sauce, and apple pie for dessert. I asked Holly how much do I owe her for the work she did and she told it was on the house. I said that I wanted to pay her of her time. She said no I couldn't take anything for you I had fun doing it and I love the outcome. I asked her " how much would you have charged it I was in your store for what you did". She thought for a minute and commented, " $700" my mouth dropped and said my last haircut cost me $8, they all laughed at me. I was trying to eat but mid-length fingernails were hard to get use to grab the fork, Jen finally showed me how to do it.

Sam and I cleaned up after dinner, I quietly asked Kathy for $700 out of the safe and I took $50 out of my purse. I put the cash in an envelope and handed it to Holly and said, " I really appreciate what you did for me and I have to give you something for your time". She looked in the envelope and saw the $750 and said, " Fran is like a sister I can't take this, but I appreciate the gesture". I replied, " I appreciate but you don't know me and I think you earned it and if you don't take it I will be insulted". She said thank you and put it in her pocket book. Holly left around 8 p.m. and the girls and I played a game of scrabble till bedtime.

The next 2 weeks were uneventful, doing the house chores, learning to cook and doing schoolwork. I was doing anything asked, Fran since that night that Holly was over started to be nicer to me and said that she forgives and I have made a remarkable turn around. The main thing is the phone call we got today, it was Tom and he was going to be there in an hour to talk to us. Kathy wasn't sure why he was going to come over but we heard the senor in the house and knew he was here. We waited at the door for him.

We sat in the living room and he explained after looking at the tapes and they were going to do the largest raids in the country. The sweep is going to get 548 gang members, police officers, lawyers, judges and federal agents. With all the charges 150 of them will be put away for life, we are going to try to get the judges to let you do a live video cam instead of you going to court. He finished up telling us that I am going to this country a great favor by getting all the scum off the streets. He handed a report of some sort to Kathy before he left.

The next morning Kathy invited me into her room and she had the only TV in her room. She put the news on and we watched for hours of all the arrests. They talked more about the agents, policemen, and judges involved instead of the others. Then there was a story about the area of are headquarters, a shoot out was in progress and they said there were numerous dead. The F.B.I had a press conference at 9:00 p.m. and it lasted 20 minutes, they closed down the 62^nd police station with 92% officers on the payroll, 15 judges, 4 lawyers 19 F.B.I agents and over 400 members have been arrested. 23 gang members and 15 police and agents died in the raids. They confiscated 2000 lbs. of pot, 250 lbs. of cocaine, 25 lbs of heroin, 20,000 ecstasy pills, and over 500 automatic guns; they recovered over 28 million in cash. I spent all day watch the TV with Kathy and Fran and they kept telling how proud they were of me.

I felt responsible for all the dead; the only way I could get over it was saying to my self they inflicted a lot of hate to innocent people. I'm glad over the last month I have changed and I hope it is for the better. After we were done watching TV I asked Kathy if see got any of the number of the ladies and contacted them. She said no but she will soon and that they is no guarantee they will want to see you but she will try her best. That night I couldn't sleep I just thought about everything and everyone. The next month was uneventful, but I heard the doorbell rang while I was doing a practice math test for Kathy.

Kathy brought this lady in and I recognized her, Kathy said, " This is Donna Martin" I walked up to her and shook her hand and said hello. She didn't understand and asked where I was. I interrupted her before Kathy could answer and I asked Donna to sit. I said, " Donna what I'm going to say to you might shocked you, I'm Jack Logan. I just want to apologize to you for what I did and I know there is no way to have you forgive me. I made a deal with the F.B.I. for immunity but I need to apologize to everyone I can. I am the one that sent everyone down and I hope the neighborhood is safer. I spent many nights thinking about what I did and I even had dreams of me being raped. I beg for your forgiveness and if you anyone that I hurt please tell them I would I like ask for their forgiveness just like I am asking you" tears are running down my face. She told me that she could never forgive me but she appreciated the words, I just broke down in tears and ran out of the room.

Kathy invited Donna for dinner and asked one of Jen's friend's mothers to have Sam and Jen spend the night so they didn't about Donna. Fran came outside as I couldn't stop crying and told me dinner was ready. I walked in with her and I saw Donna and said, " I can't eat with her, she hates me and I don't blame her". I ran upstairs and laid on my bed crying. There was a knock at the door and I told them to leave. I heard a different voice saying, " you are a monster, but I was talking to Kathy and Fran and they both begged me to talk to you. I have seen the terror you have put in the area and since I have seen you all you do is cry plus you look like a lovely lady. You seem different from what I known you as and if you made the deal and got all the thugs off the street. I can see you are looking to change but I would like you to come down to eat so we could talk. Kathy is telling me certain things but I need to hear them from you. She grabbed my hand and guided me to the kitchen.

We sat down and Kathy said she was glad I came down. I couldn't look at Donna I felt so ashamed. Kathy filled her in on how I felt when I went outside and why I was dressed the way I was. I couldn't apologize enough to her, she went thru her episode detail by detail and Fran left but she came back after a few minutes. Kathy offered her free counseling to help her but she declined and I couldn't help it but I told her "any counseling she has taken plus any future counseling I would be glad to pay for myself. For me to get over for what I did to so many I really need to apologize to as many as I can and I need your help please? I don't want to sound impersonal but I know how you feared me, I am willing to meet a bunch of you at once in a group session to apologize. If you attack me I deserve it and then some even if you kill me but I am trying to mend things and I hope that I can help some of you for what I did, and even my EX FRIENDS. If you feel better you can tie me up and take your revenge on me which I deserve." She looked at me but I still couldn't look at her. She said, " I think what you are saying is sincere, at first I wasn't sure but after the last few hours seeing how you are acting and the way you look and talking to Fan and Kathy I will talk to 6 girls I know you raped. I do want you in a room with us so we can talk; I think if all of us are in one room at once we can tell if you really are sincere. I thanked her and I was looking forward to apologize to everyone I did wrong to. She left about 8 p.m. and I thanked her for coming to listen to me even if she didn't forgive me.

Three days later the doorbell rang and I answered it and my stomach fell to hell. Donna was there with 7 other ladies and I invited them in and we went out back and Fran brought out refreshments. Before any of them said anything I apologized to each and every one of them personally. One girl named Betty asked me why did acted the way I did, I explained that it was peer pressure and I was 12 when I started and I had to keep things up or I would have been killed. Every one of them I asked for them to forgive me and everyone said right now they couldn't and I went to my bedroom and started crying. After 20 minutes Fran knocked on the door and all the ladies were they're watching me cry. Fran told me I need to give it time you violated them and it takes a lot of time to get over something like that. I said, " I feel so guilty but I thought when I apologized they would forgive me but I see that's not going to happen" I even gave the same offer to the other that I offered Donna about counseling. I got up and told them I know what I did was wrong and left to my room crying.

Over the last 3 years I did so much testimony I just couldn't wait for it to get over. I had to travel to certain areas to do the video testimony; they thought changing locations everyday would stop the hits put out on me. On weekends mom would take me to Kathy's for the weekends and we would sit back and talk. We have a few book and movies deals to decide on. Since the government was setting me up in Arizona and I was going to get $4,000 a month to live on I decide to give all the money earned to the women I hurt so bad. After all the trials were finished I took 4 years and the sentences ranged from 5 years to 268 years. The ones with lesser sentences talked and were witnesses also.

When all was over I asked my mom to move out west with me and sell the house. She sat down and told me that she would but only if Kathy can and is willing move. I didn't understand why Kathy would care. She then told me that her and Kathy have been partners for over 6 years. I asked why she hid it from me, " you were a thug and you didn't need to know at the time and then with everything else happening we didn't feel the time was right". I told her, "I glad you have some one that you love and tell them all to come and that can go to college here a Sam can finish at the high school here.

The next month they all move to Arizona with me. A few of the women I dishonored called Kathy and said they did forgive me. I finally had implants put in and I only wear dresses now I don't even wear women's slacks. My 34B's look great and now I can wear the sexiest dresses. I take very good care of my body and my makeup is always perfect. I use to be the biggest prick in the world, now I'm the biggest princess.

 

THE END

  

  

  

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