From Alistair to Alice

Sally Stephanie

  

"Oh Alistair! Not again!"

Alistair stood in the entrance hall as his Mother scolded him for the second time this week. He looked down at the gaping tear across the knee of his left trouser leg and wondered how anyone could get so angry about an accident.

Not only that but his face and short blond hair were also carrying the battle scars of an after lessons football match.

Mother was certainly not happy. She marched him into the kitchen and told him to sit down.

"Clothes don't grow on trees you know", she bawled at him.

He sat there trying not to let her get the better of him. After all it was an accident he kept reminding himself. What did other fourteen year-old boys do when they played football with their school friends?

"Why can't you be more careful?" she said despairingly,

"That's the second pair of trousers you've ruined this week. The fourth since you went back after the holidays"

Alistair looked at his Mother and entered his defence

"But mum, football is a contact sport. Sometimes accidents do happen"

Before she could respond the kitchen door opened and in stepped Alistair's big sister Maureen. Almost immediately she knew something was up and looked at her little brother sitting there with a hole in his trousers.

Maureen smirked then said I her usual patronising voice

"Oh dear, looks like my little brother has gone and done it again!"

Mother looked across and nodded before saying,

"Yes, he has. You know Alistair, sometimes I wish you could be more like your sister Maureen"

Maureen sat down beside her brother and smiled. She glanced over at her Mother and remarked,

"How could you ever imagine an immature thirteen year old boy being anything like a mature sixteen year old girl? Anyhow, I bet he's got terrible legs"

Alistair looked up at his Mother – for once he had to agree with his Sister.

Mother stood over him and looked across at Maureen and said,

"You know what I mean – you don't go running around a football pitch day and night, or knocking six bells out of one another just for a laugh"

Maureen nodded then took her little brother by the hand and told him,

"You need to be taught a lesson young man!"

Alistair shouted at her to shut up, which only made his Mother mad and resulted in yet another reprimand. He argued that she had started it with her unwelcome comments, but that only served to make matters worse.

Mother looked him straight in the eyes and told him,

"She's right! You certainly do need to be taught a lesson. And you will apologise to your sister for speaking to her like that!"

Alistair looked straight ahead and said nothing. He was not going to be humiliated in this way. If only Dad was still around, he would not let two women speak to his son like that.

Maureen sat waiting for an apology.

Nothing.

Mother then decided enough was enough. She took her son by the arm and started to march him towards the staircase. He had never seen her so mad and thought it best to do nothing else that would make matters worse.

"That's quite enough of your tantrums young man! I want you upstairs and in your room. I don't want to see you until the morning. And leave those trousers in the hall, the state they're in makes them fit only for the rubbish bin".

He went to his room and shut the door. Big deal, he thought to himself as he lay down on the bed and switched on his television set.

The next morning he woke at the usual time and sat up in his bed. He hoped Mother had calmed down as he stepped into the hall en-route for the bathroom.

As he crossed the hall he could hear his Mother and sister chatting in the kitchen. No doubt they were proud if themselves, he thought.

When he got back to his room he opened his wardrobe in order to find the last pair of school trousers he had in his possession. After searching for several minutes he still could not find them and decided that they must be in the wash basket.

There was nothing else for it. He put on his jeans and trainers, then his school shirt and tie and finally collected his school bag and headed downstairs.

Mother turned to see her son enter the kitchen. She had already set out his breakfast cereal and waited until he'd poured the milk over them before saying,

"And where do you think you're going dressed like that?"

He put his spoon down, glanced over at his sister and said,

"To school – where else?"

Mother shook her head,

"Not like that you're not! You know the rules, it's school uniform or not at all"

Alistair smirked before replying,

"But my last pair of trousers aren't in the wardrobe – they must be in the washing basket, so you see Mum, I've nothing else to wear"

Mum sat down beside Alistair to return his sarcastic smile,

"Yes you have, I've left you're uniform over your chair as usual. Now when you've finished breakfast perhaps you'd be good enough to go and change?"

Maureen piped in with her usual cheek when she said,

"I always wear my uniform to school – don't I Mum?"

He had not noticed his uniform on the chair but thought it best to do as she asked. What did bother him was Maureen, why was she trying hard to keep a straight face?

When he got back to his bedroom he discovered just why his sister was trying hard not to laugh.

Over the chair lay one of HER school skirts, HER blouse and school tie. Under the chair there was worse to come – a pair of black loafers that he knew belonged to Maureen because none of his shoes came with a heel.

Laid out on the seat of the chair were a pair of his sisters knickers, and what looked like white socks.

He lifted up the skirt and looked at it in horror. The black skirt was barely sixteen inches long. It had pleats on the front, and a zip and two-button fastening at the back. This had to be a joke?

"Come on Alistair, we don't have all day",

It was his Mother who broke his concentration and he turned to see her standing in the doorway.

"Hurry up boy!"

She commanded as she left him to get dressed.

Resigned to his fate, Alistair attempted to get dressed. But he had trouble closing the buttons at the back of the skirt. And the blouse was just plain difficult because the buttons were on the wrong side.

When he picked us the white 'socks' he realised they were in fact knee high stockings – the type he'd seen Britney Spears wear in her videos, not to mention all the fourth form girls at his school.

He put them on carefully as he could, trying his best not to snag them on his bitten nails. They finished just below his knee and he felt ridiculous wearing them.

The high heel on the loafers was little more than an inch but he still found the sensation of wearing them one of terror. How was he going to manage to walk in them all day?

Downstairs in the kitchen Mother looked at Maureen as the clump-clump on the stairs sounded the arrival of the troublesome brother.

Maureen cooed,

"Oh Alistair, I'd never imagined you'd look so pretty as a girl! When I told Jenny last night that you would be coming to school as my sister she said she couldn't wait to see how pretty you looked"

He stood dejected at the insult. Obviously the female side of the house had decided on his 'punishment' last night. That explained the skirt and other things he had found over his chair.

Alistair knew there would be far worse to come when he got to school.

Mother checked his uniform and was satisfied that he was at least presentable. But Maureen made a comment that made his blood run a little cold,

"Mum, there's something not quite right, Can I take Alistair upstairs for a minute?"

Mother said that would be fine but would they please hurry it up.

As they hurried up the stairs, Maureen told Alistair to go back to his room and take of the blouse and the white stockings. Could she be allying him at this later stage? He doubted it.

When she came back she was carrying an assortment of items including a large pink school bag with the writing 'Disco Chick' in silver glitter pen. Various 'girly' graffiti had been added to the back – He could see in black marker 'Maureen Loves Michael', and 'Jenny Loves Steve'. There was a new one too that he did not like – 'Alice Loves Her New Uniform'.

Maureen held up a white bra and told him to turn round. She then fastened the lingerie to his chest and shortened up the shoulder straps. She told him to put his blouse back on then sit on the end of the bed.

He felt the bra against his skin and did not like the effect it had on his chest.

The white stockings were simply exchanged for a black pair, Maureen said Mother never had a great fashion sense when it came to teenagers. She smoothed the nylon up his leg then snapped the elastane top to make him know they would not be falling down during the day.

Maureen then produced a shimmering pink lip gloss, which she quickly applied on his lips, warning him

"Don't bother removing this or licking it all off – if you do you'll just have to fix your makeup during school and I'm sure you don't want to be caught in the girls room doing that!"

He could taste the raspberry flavouring of the lip-gloss and felt a sticky sensation on his lips.

Maureen then produced an eye shadow stick and covered his lids with a blue-grey colour, sweeping the outer corners of his eyes upwards towards the brow.

She told him to sit still as she stroked black mascara over his lashes. He did not enjoy the feeling of the liquid as it coated his eyelashes but he new he'd better keep still or else.

Maureen then sprayed him with a body scent and told him he smelt just like his big sister. She put the lip-gloss and the body spray into the pink bag and told him to put the bag on his shoulder.

"I've put all your school books in there too – we don't want you missing out on your education!"

They got downstairs and even his Mother looked a little shocked at his appearance.

Maureen insisted that he needed to wear a bra for the blouse to sit right. As for the lip-gloss and other makeup, well all the girls were wearing it.

Mother picked up the car keys and headed for the door.

Maureen motioned for her brother to go first and laughingly said,

Come on Alice! don't keep teacher waiting!"

Alistair walked the best he could in the shoes. Had he heard his sister right? Had she called him Alice?

One thing was for sure – he wouldn't be playing too much football for the foreseeable future.

He stumbled down the garden path and in to the car. Maureen told him to be a little more careful when sitting down wearing a skirt. His Mother sympathised with him and told Maureen not to be so harsh – it was, after all, his first day wearing one.

Alistair sat in the back with a growing dread, as the gates of the school loomed closer. He could see Maureen's friend Jenny already waiting for the arrival and she had plenty more friends in tow. All curious to see the 'new girl'.

His Mother pulled up outside the gates and he shut his eyes as the waiting fourth formers started to giggle at his appearance. They moved closer to see inside the car and laughed when they saw he was wearing a skirt the same as them.

Mother told Maureen to go to class but Alistair was to stay with her, as she wanted to meet the headmaster and explain the reason behind one of his male pupils turning up for class dressed as a girl.

He could see Maureen telling the girls about his 'transformation' all he wanted to do now was to go home and never return.

His Mother marched in into reception and asked the secretary if she could see the headmaster?

Alistair stood there with the pink bag on his shoulder and his hands pulling down the short skirt, as it seemed to be getting shorter and shorter with every step.

Two girls from his third form passed by on the way to registration. They wore almost everything he had on and they giggled, as they looked him over. One of them said

"That's a nice bag you've got ALICE!"

He ignored the comment but it was obvious that his darling sister Maureen had already notified his new identity to the entire school. It would not be long before his fellow footballers would see him and the ridicule would continue.

The secretary told his Mother than the headmaster was free now and that she should go in. Alistair was taken through to the study and told to be quiet while Mother explained everything.

Mr Jones, the headmaster, did not look amused when he recognised one of his third year pupils dressed in the 'wrong' uniform.

Mother said it was a punishment and, apart from the makeup', there was nothing wrong with the uniform her son was wearing. She had not broken any guidelines and started to quote from the rules when she said

"Pupils will wear either black trouser and white shirts, or black skirts and white blouses. It does not specify the gender when it quotes those terms"

The headmaster made a mental note to get the rules amended as soon as possible. He then said that it was the first time ever he had been presented with such a scenario and how did she expect her son to cope with potential trouble from other boys in the school?

Mother stood up and stated quite clearly that,

"That is your responsibility is it not?"

Again he gave a resigned nod.

She smiled then got ready to leave.

Alistair was given a peck on the cheek (the first time this had ever happened) and told,

"Run along to your class now Alice - and you might want to touch up your lip-gloss beforehand. I'll be waiting for you after school – I assume you'll wish to come straight home tonight?".

Alistair left the study and set of for his first class. He stopped off at the male toilets and was about to enter when another teacher shouted at him

"That's not your toilet young lady!"

He did not turn round in case he was recognised but simply moved further down the corridor and in to the girl's washroom.

When he got to his class he was met not by deafening roars of laughter, but by an eerie silence. Even the Geography teacher had found out about his new pupil and said nothing untoward when Alistair entered the class.

"You're late Alice, try not to be so again", smiled the teacher.

Mortified that he was universally known as Alice, he sat down in his usual front row desk with two girls either side of him. Cassandra Smith and Denise Hill were normally ton the receiving end of his jokes. Now they would have their revenge.

Cassandra Smith whispered across at him,

"I like your skirt Alice – all the fourth formers are wearing them but we don't normally get the chance to in third year. You must be the luckiest girl in third form to be allowed to wear so short a skirt. Does your Mother know you like wearing girly things?"

He ignored the comment and took his books out of the pink bag.

Cassandra leaned over and put her polished fingernails on the edge of his desk

"Just don't try coming on to our boyfriends okay?"

Denise Hill bit on the tip of her biro to stop herself from laughing. She noticed he was wearing makeup and asked ever so pleasantly,

"Where did you get that eye shadow Alice? Can I borrow it pleeeese?"

Even when Marie Wilkes jabbed him in the back with a ruler he did his best to keep his mouth shut.

It was going to be a very long day indeed.

At break time he was totally shunned by his former football pals. They made it quite clear that they did not wish to associate with a sissy boy and that perhaps he should spend his lunchtime with his new girlfriends.

Alistair stood on a corner of the school building with his left leg against the wall for support. He felt terrible and more than a little isolated.

The first year girls stopped and stared at him with a mixture of curiosity and derision. He wanted to go up to one of them and fetch her a good punch across the face – but he just stood there in total embarrassment.

Suddenly, he felt a harsh slap across his left cheek, the force of which brought him to his feet. He turned to see who had picked a fight and was met with the icy stare of his sister Maureen.

She had her two best friends in tow – the blonde bombshell Jenny, and the elfin-faced Dianna. They did not give him the impression that their visit was a friendly one. At least the arrival of the fourth formers had driven away the younger pupils.

It was Maureen who spoke first,

"Well, Alice, you know Jenny and Dianna don't you?"

He nodded then Maureen turned to the girls,

"Jenny and Dianna, meet my new little sister Alice!"

"Nice to meet you Alice!" They chanted in unison.

Maureen asked him where his bag was? He told her it was in his next class. This made his sister even angrier and she berated him in front of the girls,

"You have a lot to learn little sister! A girl never leaves her bag unattended, she may need to fix up her makeup at any time"

Alistair stood with his head down but Maureen lifted his face up by the chin and asked the other girls,

"Do you think Alice needs to touch up her makeup girls?"

Jenny said definitely but Maureen then said

"But the poor girl hasn't got her makeup with her! What shall we do girls?"

Jenny went into her bag and produced a tube of lipstick and a small compact mirror which she gave to Alistair and said,

"Here, you can try mine"

Although he took the mirror and the lipstick he didn't have a clue how to begin using them. The girls became impatient and Dianna said

"Come on Alice! We don't have all day you know"

Jenny took the items back then demonstrated to him exactly what he had to do to apply the makeup. She slowly drew the colour across her lips, pursed them together, and then handed the lipstick and mirror back to him.

"Your turn!" she said

He did his best to copy her actions but the lipstick felt uncomfortable to him and the mirror was not nearly big enough. When he had finished he waited to see what the girls thought.

Maureen took the items from him and handed them back to Jenny. She then looked at her brother and said,

"Say 'thank you Jenny for letting me wear so grown up a lipstick'"

He repeated the words to the girl but Maureen wanted more,

"A little curtsey would not go amiss my dear Alice! Remember to take hold of the hem of your nice skirt as you bend"

Totally humiliated he did his best to curtest then repeated the line

"Thank you Jenny for letting me wear so grown up a lipstick"

Jenny smiled and then said,

"You owe me a favour now Alice. And I always call in favours so be prepared"

The girls then marched off to class laughing and joking about what had just happened.

Alistair could not come to terms with the fact that his sister was being so mean. He hoped most sincerely that this would be his only day in a dress.

Afternoon classes did not improve for Alistair. One of the teachers was so appalled at his appearance that he ordered him to stand outside the class for the entire lesson.

This only made him a sitting target for other pupils as they moved between lessons. One fourth former remembered him as the boy who laughed when his pals had hit her on the back with a muddy football, ruining her new blouse in the process.

She was with two other girls when she stopped beside him and said,

"Oh look girls, seems our little third former doesn't like playing with footballs any more! In fact, it appears he has discovered the wonderful world of makeup!"

"I doubt he could even kick a ball in his new heels!" sneered another.

All the older girls laughed and there was nothing he felt he could do when one of them snapped the left strap of his bra and mocked him

"He's even wearing a pretty white bra. How does it feel to have that done to you for a change? You little sissy?"

The leader of the trio nodded then said,

"Maureen always said you were a little girl at heart! Boy I bet you'd look great in a little summer dress? Would you like to come shopping with us this weekend? I'm sure we'd find you something appropriate for the school disco"

The girls laughed again and only moved off when the door to the classroom opened and the teacher told them to move on.

During the afternoon break his so-called 'friends' were no less taunting. Even though they seemed a little nervous of him in his current garb they could not resist asking him if he wanted to go out with them on a date. Although he was now totally humiliated, Alistair did not resort to tears.

His Mother arrived at the usual time to pick Maureen and him up from school. When they had got in to the back seat she asked,

"And how did my two girls do today?"

Alistair did not find the remark in the least funny and replied,

"I'm not a girl – I'm your son!"

His Mother looked at him from the driver mirror and told him,

"Until you learn to behave properly you'll be my daughter – and not just on school days either"

Alistair looked down at the hem of his short skirt and felt totally despondent. Just how long was he going to be expected to dress as a girl?

When they finally got home Alistair was told to go upstairs and remove his makeup then change into the clothes that his Mother had laid out for him on his bed.

He went straight to the bathroom and scrubbed hard until the cosmetics were no longer on his skin. His eyes stung due to the amount of soap he had to use to remove the makeup on his lashes and eyelids.

Before he had reached his room the blouse he'd been forced to wear was already off his back. When he caught his reflection in the mirror he felt unhappy at having to wear a bra.

Then he saw his change of clothes - a cherry red T-shirt with the slogan "Good Girl" embossed in pink glitter across the chest, a short light blue denim miniskirt, which he recognised as his sister Maureen's, and a pair of white sandals, which also belonged to his sister.

Resigned to his punishment he put on the items as best he could, although the silver buckle fastenings of the shoe straps did give him some trouble because he could not find the hole to put the silver catch through. He went back downstairs to be greeted by the two women.

His sister Maureen was first to speak,

"Don't you dare put any stains on that skirt! Mum, why does he have to wear my things?, Can't we get him some of his own?"

Mother shook her head, explaining that she had borrowed some of her old things from the spare wardrobe, as there was no spare cash to buy new clothes. Had Alistair not been so inconsiderate as to ruin all his trousers then the situation would never have had arisen.

Maureen was not entirely happy with that explanation, especially as she liked that skirt so much. She suggested that she should look out some of her old things that she no longer wore and 'gift' them to her 'little sister'

Mother thought that was a very generous gesture and asked Alistair,

"Don't you think that is such a kind offer Alice? My, if only I'd thought of that earlier – think of all the hand-me-downs that you could have had if we hadn't done a clear out last summer"

Alistair was only too glad that Maureen had already thrown out a large selection of her things before he had been put in this current predicament.

Maureen smiled at her brother and told him

"Don't worry sis! I've still got lots of pretty clothes you can have. And I'm sure Jenny and the other girls will help you out too!"

That was a prospect he did not wish to even think about right now. He looked at his Mother and said

"How long do you think you can keep me like this?"

Mother smiled. She appeared oblivious to his dilemma as she curtly told him,

"You will stay as you are until I decide you've learned your lesson. Every time you ask me that question adds another day to your punishment so I advise you to stop complaining"

Alistair shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The breeze coming through the kitchen door never bothered him before, but now he was in a skirt and he could feel the cool air against his legs.

Maureen sat watching him squirm and then asked her Mother,

"Do you think Alice might be allowed to come shopping with me and the girls this Saturday? I think I've got enough cash saved to treat him to some makeup of his own"

Mother thought for a moment then said she did not think it proper that teenage girls should wear a lot of makeup.

Maureen shook her head and said,

"It's no big deal Mum! Just a lipstick and some powder, and a nice nail polish too. Anyway, it's not hygienic for her to use my stuff"

Alistair wished they would stop referring to him as 'she', or 'her'. He had no intention of going shopping with girls and hoped his Mother would veto the idea. His heart sank once again when he heard the words,

"Very well, but nothing to vivid and certainly nothing 'tarty' And Alice can pay for his own things with his pocket money"

Maureen allowed herself a satisfied grin as she took her brother by the hand and remarked

"You'll look great with a nice glitter polish on those nails"

  

  

  

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