A Wish the Heart Makes : Fornever in Blue Genes

by: Tigger

 

Chapter 9: Working out the Kinks

"One hundred seventy four centimeters tall (5’8.5") and 56.5 kilograms, Matt." Cat looked up from her datapad. "Not too shabby, but you are little high, percent body fat-wise, on the immersion test."

Matt sniffed. "Doesn’t look too bad to me, pal," she said as she posed naked in front of a mirrored wall in the security facility’s gym. "I am glad to have those damned electronic restraints off, though."

"Don’t get used to it, pal. They go back on as soon as we finish here." Cat figured she could keep Matt from hurting herself while they were working out and she did not want the restraints activating at the wrong time. Like during fighting drills when sudden immobility might get her friend’s face smashed. "And as for the body fat, well, by the time I am done with you, your body fat will be half what it is right now and you will mass out at over 60 kilos, Matty m’boy." Cat stopped short as a frown darkened Matt’s green eyes. "What’s the matter, pal? What did I say?"

She was quiet for a long while, simply staring blankly through Cat. "I am not a boy anymore, Cat. I never will be one again. That hurts to think about, that’s all. And right now, when I feel that way, I feel it big time - just like I feel everything else." She steeled herself against the pain of lost dreams. "I need to face what I am now and what I can be in the future. Can we try to stop thinking of the man I used to be, at least for a while? Until I am used to being a . . ." Matt stopped. Her mouth opened and shut, but no sound came out.

"A girl, Matt? Actually, a woman - is that what you are trying so hard to say?" Cat asked softly. Mutely, Matt nodded. "That is what you are, old friend. A damned pretty one, too. Trust me on that one, and you can trust me on this, too. Being female can be pretty nice."

At Matt’s dubious glare, she chuckled. She would really like to show Matt just how nice being a girl could be, but that would be taking advantage of her . . . dammit, his confusion. And it was definitely a "him" who was confused. For all that feminine beauty, the mind inside that tight little body was "Pure-Matt" and Cat did not think her old buddy Matt was ready to deal with those nice aspects just yet. Cat would bide her time until Matt had *her* feet back under her - wait until she could handle being more than just friends with Matt’s old buddy, Cat. If that ever came to pass, however, the waiting would come to an screeching halt. Cat would trip her "old- buddy" and beat him . . . errr . . . her to the floor. *Guess Matt isn’t the only one around here who is confused by all of this.*

Another thought came to Cat just then and she spoke before she had a chance to hesitate. "You know, Matt, it might be a lot easier for you, hell - easier for all of us - to deal with this if we did not constantly remind ourselves that you used to be a guy every time we called you by your name."

"What? I don’t think I understand you, Cat."

"Your name, pal," Cat said with exaggerated patience, "I think we need to give you a new name - at least for the duration. Every time I call you "Matt", you close up for a few seconds. So, girl friend, what is your new name?"

Matt was stunned. Even his name, she realized slowly. Those bastards had taken everything that Matthew Sorenson had thought was inalienably his. She was even going to lose the name given him by loving parents to whoever was responsible for this . . . change. But Cat was right, he finally admitted to himself. He - NO, dammit - *she* did close up every time someone called out his old name. "God, Cat. I don’t know. Matty, maybe?" Her tone of voice gave away her uncertainty and lack of comfort with that option.

Cat picked up on her friend’s internal conflict and shook her head emphatically. "Not a good choice, chum. It’s too close. You’ll still hear the "Matt" every time someone calls you "Matty". That won’t help any of us. Find something else."

"Christ, Cat, I never even had a kid of my own to name as Matthew. The last thing I ever named was a pet dog when I was a kid and I named her Ralph."

"Her? Girl, you do need help." The laughter in Cat’s eyes and voice eased some of the anxiety. "Okay, let’s see, we could get the computer to help. Put in some constraints, then choose from the listing."

"No, I don’t think so. It was your idea. What would you call me?"

Cat had not anticipated that request and it momentarily stopped her mental processes cold. The woman he had become was so beautiful, so perfect. It was like she had stepped out of that long-ago garden of youthful fantasies a young Cat Donovan had secretly cultivated, and then hidden away back when she’d been struggling with her sexual identity. The woman in that fantasy garden had had a name, too, and that name had been . . .

"Mandy."

The sound of her own voice surprised Cat. She had not meant to say that name out loud.

"Mandy," her friend repeated, instantly. Matthew let the name float in her head, and decided she liked it. "Mandy, it is," she agreed, grinning up at the taller woman.

Fighting the strange and unusual emotions clogging in her throat, Cat could initially only nod. Then, she coughed, and in a gruff voice ordered, "Okay then, Mandy, let’s get your lazy butt into the gym."

 

 

 

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© 1996 by Tigger. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.