For My Daughters

by shalimar

Chapter 1

Esther and Grace played with the tea set Albert had set out for them on a small table in the corner of the room. He had placed their tiny table there so he could keep an eye on them as he scrubbed the counters. Al had washed the dishes the two girls had used for dinner, and then he made sure the kitchen sparkled before he gave them his full attention.

Rebecca entered the kitchen from the living room where she had been reading a steamy romance novel. She hadn't spoke three civil words to him for the past two hours and Albert didn't have a clue what was wrong.

"Do you have to wear an apron when you do the dishes?"

Her frown told Al that she could be having one of her migraines.

"Better to be safe than sorry," he smiled and offered her a cold glass of water and an aspirin.

She shook her head, sat at the kitchen table with her eyes closed, and sighed.

Grace beat their table with her tin teacup. They would celebrate her first birthday in two weeks; and she had been proudly saying her first words, one of which was "mom" whenever she could. She was beginning to have two word sentences.

She looked up and pointed toward Albert, "Mom."

Rebecca sniggered. "She's got that right."

Having finished with his dusting of the cabinets, Albert got down on the floor with their children. "Does Gracie-kins want more tea?"

Esther giggled at her father's baby talk, but Rebecca scowled.

"Must you?" Rebecca asked. "The other day Mary saw you playing with the girls and told me you're the perfect nanny."

Al beamed, "Being a good father is my highest priority. When one of your best friends says something like that, it makes me proud."

"That's just it. Mary isn't only MY good friend, she's your friend as well. Frankly Albert, most of my friends treat you like one of the girls. And I don't blame them."

Al reached over and showed Esther how to keep her skirt pulled down to cover her legs. Even though his daughter was only three he had to make sure she understood basic modesty.

"What do you mean you 'don't blame them'?"

Rebecca perked up, as if her headache had suddenly subsided.

"Albert," she used his full name when she was angry with him. "You don't seemed to know it, but you're more of a girly-girl than I am."

Al sat Grace in his lap and hugged her while he nuzzled her hair.

"I don't think that's remotely possible," he spoke in a soft voice as he always did around the girls because Al believed children need a non-threatening environment.

"Not only is it possible, it's a reality," She grabbed the two aspirin he had set on the table and gulped them down with half the glass of water he had provided, "You are a good provider. We finally have the money for the down payment on a house, but I'm not happy."

She tipped her glass toward him in a salute.

"The s – e – x is good. Isn't it." he offered with a grin.

She snickered before staring at the calendar on the wall, as if she were counting the days for some reason, "When my friends are over, you're right there in the room with us dishing gossip and exchanging recipes."

He shrugged, "I thought we decided we would have an equal marriage. You don't really like to cook so . . ."

"That's not true," she said, showing some desperation. "It's just that you're better at it and the girls eat everything you make without us having to force it on them."

Tears ran down her face; and she made no effort to hide them.

Albert got off the floor and went to her. He stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders.

"Your mom will be over in a few minutes, so we can go out to celebrate."

Her shoulders shook as she shoved his hands away, "Even your touch feels like a woman's. I didn't realize it then but it was like that the first time we made love, on our honeymoon. You were a virgin. I thought back then I could help you change, to become a man. Boy, was I ever wrong. Better make it, GIRL, was I ever wrong."

Al stood back, not knowing where to put his hands, since she didn't want him touching her. He finally clasped them together in front of his chest and fell to his knees next to where she sat. He smiled to reassure her but she just frowned.

"You're just worried about the house. It's okay. My stock and bond portfolio is in good shape. We can afford it."

Al felt uncomfortable under her stare and finally dropped his hands to his side with his fingers pointed straight down so as not to offend her.

"Why are you doing this when everything has come together for us?" he asked. "Mom and Dad want a smaller place, something they can keep up without so much work. Mom said she can hardly do all the dusting and vacuuming anymore. It'll be perfect. The schools are still among the best in the state. I even know some of the teachers."

"Mary agrees with me," Rebecca said accusingly. "Do you understand?"

Al shook his head, mystified.

"And not only Mary," she went on. "All our friends agree you're driving me crazy. They tell me I need to do something. . .something to change the way things are between us."

"Are you unhappy?"

Al checked to make sure the toy Grace had been chewing was clean. He expected Rebecca would say "no" -- as in his opinion they had a nearly perfect life: beautiful children, no financial worries, a doting husband. What more could she want?

"I'm miserable," she said quietly as she got to her feet, leaving no doubt about the truth of her statement.

She went into their bedroom and packed her clothes into two suitcases.

When her mother arrived, Rebecca told her, "Mom, I can't stand it anymore here. Take me home. I'm leaving."

Chapter 2

Esther asked, "Why did other mommy yell at you an why did she go wid grandma?"

"I don't know, honey. I think she needs some time to rest. Could you and Grace be good girls while I call your other grandparents?"

"Yes, mommy," Esther said. "I play wid her."

Grace just smiled as she continued to play.

Al got on the phone and called his parents. Even though it was only four rings it seemed like hours before his mother, Alice picked up.

"Hello?" she said.

"Mom, Becky just left me," he said through tears. "Her mom came over to watch the girls so we could go out to celebrate buying the house, but she said that I was acting like one of the girls. She packed a suitcase and left."

"You are a girl, sweetie."

"What?"

"Except for giving me grandchildren you were never a man or even a boy. When you were young you preferred to play with your sisters or the other girls in the neighborhood, never with the boys."

Al was surprised by what his mother said until he realized that most of his childhood friends had been girls. The most important exception had been his next door neighbor and best friend, Mark.

"Do you remember that you liked to play dress up and play the mommy with the other girls? I remember the time you cried when Susan's mother said you couldn't go to the slumber party and the happy smile you had when you came home from Linda's house with makeup and a skirt. You were so happy I couldn't bear to make you take it off, and like a good girl you helped me make dinner. You did that every day until just before you married Becky."

Al smiled as he listened to some of his childhood memories.

"Mom," he confessed. "I can't stay here alone tonight. Can we sleep at your place tonight?"

"Just let yourself in if we're asleep when you get here. You have a key."

Chapter 3

When he got to his parent's Grace and Esther were already asleep. He took them into the house and with Alice's help put them into the beds that his parents had provided for their sleepovers. They went out and brought in the suitcases. And brought them up to the rooms.

When he was finished and out of the girls' bedroom, his mother told him, "Rebecca is right. You are a good mother."

"Thanks, mom," he said as he kissed her. "But I don't have the right plumbing or shape to be a mother."

"Al," his mother said when they were finished. "Remember what you said when you were about eleven and you came home crying from Linda's house because she needed a bra."

"I said I wanted breasts too, just like the other girls. You told me I was your girl. Then you called me Alison."

"I think it is time you became Alison."

"I don't know."

"You are Alison more than Albert, and the girls need a mother. You'd be perfect. With some hormones you could even get those breasts you wanted, and if you still want it, get the right plumbing."

Al looked at his mother and smiled. He knew that he always wanted to be a girl and his mother was encouraging him to do that.

"Come with me and help me make your bed," she continued.

Sadly, Al nodded in agreement and followed her to his old room. As they finished making the bed, little Grace, woke in her crib and cried. Al went to his one-year-old and picked her up. In the dim light he changed the baby. She was a little hungry so he gave her a small bottle. As he fed her he rocked her to sleep. He used the same rocking chair his mother had used when he and his sisters were babies as Alice watched her son take care of her grandchild.

"So are you going to become Alison?"

"I don't know, mom. Is it the right thing to do?"

"In your heart, and theirs, you are their mother," she explained. "You have always been more loving and caring in that way than Becky, and much better than the average man. In fact you are at least as good as the average woman. I know you hurt right now and miss Rebecca, but you will do fine with these girls and they will know that you are their mother."

"If that is true," he said. "Then I have you and dad to thank. There is a lot of both of you in me."

"You are not going to say, 'I'm just like my mother! Ahhhhhhhh!'?"

"In this way, I want to be like my mother," he said as he smiled and kissed her.

"Albert, we'll help you anyway we can," she said as she put her arm around his waist.

"I think I can let you spoil my daughters rotten," he said as he leaned into her.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Alison," she said. Then she asked, "What are you going to sleep in?"

"It's late May, mom," he replied. "This time of the year I sleep in the nude."

"Why not start being Alison tonight? You're my size so you'll wear one of my nightgowns. If the only thing stopping you is your fear, then do it."

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

"Those girls of yours are going to wake up at the crack of dawn and find you in your bed and will discover you are naked as they try to wake you. You've got to wear something. That nightgown I have should fit you," she replied, examining him with a critical eye.

Al smiled, "Just don't make it too fancy."

"I think you'll look pretty," Alice said before she went upstairs to her bedroom and brought down a dusty rose nightgown that had ruffles on the hem and flowers printed on it.

"It's pink!" he said to her. "And it has ruffles and flowers. Couldn't you find one that is a little less feminine?"

"Do you want to be Alison or Albert? Besides, this will fit."

"But, mom," he pleaded.

"Don't 'but, mom' me!" she replied. "Stop complaining, girl."

Al took the nightgown and put it on. He looked in the mirror and saw how pretty he was even with the small stubble of a beard he occasionally showed. Al wondered if his mother also saw him as a girl.

After he put on the nightgown, Alice told him, "You see, sweetie, you look pretty."

Alice hugged and kissed him and he hugged back before she left for her own bedroom where her husband had already gotten dressed for the night.

'I don't know if I want Becky back more or to be Alison,' he said to himself as he finally got into the nightgown and lay down. "Right now I'll go with the flow."

He had difficulty falling asleep as he thought about Rebecca, but sleep finally overtook him.

Chapter 4

Al didn't sleep well that night. One of his dreams included Becky and his mother taking him down the isle to get married. He realized he was standing next to a man and was smiling up at him.

Al knew he was the bride as he finally said, "I do."

He felt the ring slip on his finger and heard, "You may kiss the bride."

When the man kissed him, Al knew who it was, Mark. Al kissed Mark back with all his might as he melted in his arms. It didn't bother Al that he actually enjoyed being kissed by his boyhood friend. When the wedding faded Al smiled in his semi dreaming and semi wakeful state thinking about Mark. Mark had once told Al that if Al were a girl he would marry her. Al had told Mark that he would accept if some magic could change him to a girl. Just then he dreamed that Mark was screaming.

Chapter 5

But it was Grace's wailing that woke him up that early morning. Still needing sleep, he bleary eyed picked up his daughter and talked to her softly so as not to wake Esther, his three-year-old. As he did, he checked Grace's diaper that needed to be changed again.

While he was changing the baby's diaper, Esther woke up, jumped out of bed and gave her father a hug around his leg.

"Mommy!" his older one shouted as she gave him a hug.

His daughter's comment made him smile.

"Mommy?" his confused daughter asked. "Why you dresses likes other mommy?"

"We went to grandma and grandpa's home. I wanted to sleep without any clothes, but grandma told me that it wouldn't be nice for you to see me naked."

"Why wes at grandma's and grandpa's?" asked Esther. "Where other mommy?"

"Mommy is at your other grandma's house," Al told her. "She said to me last night that she couldn't live with me any more."

"But mommies and daddies supposed to live together. And dey supposed to take care of der babies."

"They are," he replied. "But sometimes it doesn't work out that way. I hope that mommy and I can get back together, but I don't know."

"Where I be?" asked Esther. "Wif you or wif mommy?"

"I don't know," Al told his daughter. "Right now, I think with me. And Grace will be with us, too. Isn't that right?" he asked the baby as he smiled.

When he finished changing her, Grace smiled and put her hands up to her father to ask to be picked up which he did before picking up Esther so that his two girls could see his face.

"How about you go make pee-pee and wash your hands and face while I wash Grace's hands and face," Al suggested to Esther. "Then we'll go downstairs to the kitchen and I'll make us breakfast."

"I need help, mommy."

Smiling, Al helped his daughter.

When they got down to the kitchen Al warmed a bottle for Grace and gave her some Cheerios on the table of her highchair. While the bottle was warming he put some Cheerios in a bowl and poured the milk for Esther and taking a half of a banana put half of that into Esther's bowl, and gave the other quarter to Grace. By that time Grace's bottle was warm so he gave it to her. Cutting the remainder of the banana into his bowl of Cheerios, he then sat down and ate, instinctively fixing the skirt part of his nightgown as he sat. He didn't know it at the time, but his mother and father watched Al make breakfast before they entered the kitchen.

"You're a good mother to these kids," Bob, his father told him.

"You don't mind dad?" Al asked to his father as he gave his mother a short hug and kiss. "If I didn't know better I'd say this is a conspiracy between my wife, my two parents and my two daughters. Yet, I like being Alison."

"Mommy look pretty," Esther told her grandma.

"I think so too, Esther," her grandmother said. "What do you think, Gracie?"

"Mommy pretty!" Grace replied as she pointing towards Al.

As she chewed a Cheerio she tried to get a hug from her father.

"You mean you all want me to stay like this?" he asked.

The four of them nodded, as Grace smiled.

"Then maybe I should. But I need Becky back more."

"You're going to do this for the children," his mother said. "I know my doctor takes care of a few transsexuals. I will make an appointment with her this afternoon."

"I don't know if I want to do that yet, mom. I want Rebecca back."

"Son," Bob interjected. "I don't know why I'm doing this, but I guess I can't call you that anymore. Honey, Becky was no good for you. You are better off without her. We tried to tell you that, but you were in love with her and I know you still are. But the only good thing she did for you is to give you our precious granddaughters."

"You have enough investments that you can take off from work," Alice added. "You need to take care of your children."

"Being a jeweler, you can also do some work at home around taking care of your girls and the house," his father agreed.

"Then it's settled," his mother proclaimed.

"How come you are deciding my life without my input or consent?" Al asked. "I'm not a three-year-old."

"You are doing it for YOUR three-year-old, AND your one-year-old," Bob explained. "We'll move into the apartment in the back that we had for your grandparents until they finally needed to go to that health related facility. That way we can help. We'll do it soon so you can leave the apartment you're living in."

"Besides, what the doctor will do for you is reversible in the beginning," added his mother.

Al looked at his daughters. He did want to change, and he knew his daughters needed a mother. With what Becky said last night he didn't know if she would ever come back.

"I may live to regret this," Al agreed. "But we'll try it for a while."

"That's the attitude," his mother told him. "I have a skirt, blouse and sandals that would look good on you. And I have a new pair of panties for you. I'll help you with your makeup."

"Should I go that far?" Al asked.

"You DO want to be a MOTHER to these girls. Don't you?" she responded.

"But a skirt, panties AND makeup?"

"No daughter of mine is going to dress like a slob, young lady. You are going to dress properly and be presentable to the doctor. Am I understood?"

Al was shocked. His mother had never talked to him like that before. While he sat there, dumbfounded, Esther giggled.

"Why are you laughing?" asked Al.

"Grandma be mommy ta mommy."

"Grandma is mommy's mommy, honey," Al told his daughter.

It was then that Al realized that his mother was only trying to help.

"OK, ma," he said. "I kind of like wearing this nightgown, and I want to go along with you for the moment. You'll help me get the children dressed and then I'll make sure they are happily playing before I follow your lead."

"I'm glad you came to your senses, girl, even if it meant your daughter had to teach you," his mother said.

'Mother, PLEASE!' Al thought.

Getting the children dressed was fairly simple. Both the children played in the bathtub for about half an hour before they were put into some play clothes that included two hot pink "Grrls rules" t-shirts and maroon shorts for the two of them. Except for their ages they looked like twins.

While his father watched the girls, Al was told to take a bath and shave the little hair he had on his body. While he was getting ready for the bath, his mom dropped some scented oil into the bath then left a violet silk bathrobe on a hook in the bathroom. It had ruffles on the sleeves and hem of the skirt. Al liked the robe and wondered what his mother would give him to wear for the appointment.

When he was finished he put on the robe and walked up the stairs to his parents' room as he was instructed. On the bed were his clothes for the day. The skirt was a red and green plaid. And the top was a matching green halter. His panties were red with ruffles. Gladly he put everything on, knowing well his mother preferred him as Alison.

"Now, sit down at the vanity," his mother told him when he was dressed. When he was seated she wrapped a plastic cape around his shoulders, "We don't have too much time. The doctor's appointment is in two hours and she's about fifteen minutes away."

"Wanna watch," Esther said at the bedroom door.

"Come in and you can see me make your mother look pretty," her grandma told her.

First his mother took out the nail file and filed his nails into a more feminine shape. When she was finished with the hands she did his toes. Esther climbed on Al's lap while this was happening.

As Alice took a bright red nail polish from the draw of the vannity Esther told her grandmother, "Wanna have polish too."

"Want to play twenty nails?" asked Alice.

"Wat's dat?"

"While we put the polish on each nail we count each nail we've done."

"Yeah!"

So Alice and Al counted each nail with Esther as a layer of polish went on each nail of first Al's then Esther's fingers. While the polish was drying Alice worked on Al's hair, which was long for a man, yet short for a woman.

"This will have to do until your hair grows out a bit," she told him.

He winced as she plucked his eyebrows to that perfect arch.

She then applied the second coat of the fast drying polish on Al's fingers. Satisfied she applied the facial base coat. Next came the mascara and eyeliner and eye shadow. The shadow had three colors, which she blended expertly. A multicolored blush was then applied. A final topcoat was added to the polish. While it was drying she applied a matching lipstick, which felt funny on his lips. When Esther asked her if she could have lipstick, Alice put some on her, also.

"You have to learn to do this yourself," Alice told him.

Alice gave Al her gold braded necklace, two gold and diamond bracelets and an ankle bracelet and sandals to finish the look. When she was finished doing him Alice turned the vanity stool around and let Al look in the vanity mirror for the first time. He couldn't believe what he saw. Staring back at him, except for his slightly shorter hair, was the spitting image of Maggie, the older of his two younger sisters.

Esther looked at Al's reflection in the mirror and said, "Mommy look pretty."

Something within Al made him smile with pride.

"Thank you, Esther," he replied as he hugged his child. "That lipstick makes you look pretty, too."

His mother had him look at his reflection in her full-length mirror. He liked the image of the young woman that stared back at him.

"I actually look good this way," he told his mother.

"I'm glad you like it," his mother told him.

"I think I might even get used to this," he told his mother as he kissed her. "But I need to practice this. Could you help?"

Looking back at the mirror he noticed that he was flat chested. There weren't even molehills between his neck and groin.

"Mom," Al noted. "I'm flatter than Kansas. Can you do something?"

"That's why we're going to the doctor's today," she responded. "She'll give you some 'girl pills.'"

"Can we do anything now?" Al asked. "Just for the look?"

"I think I still have one of your sister, Kay's, padded bras here from when she was much younger," she replied. "If it doesn't fit, I have some extenders."

Going into her closet she came out about twenty minutes later with the bra. It was a tight fit so Alice added an extender.

With the top on again, Al looked in the mirror and saw his pretend cleavage.

"That's much better," he said.

After Al tried to put his hands in the nonexistent pockets of his skirt he asked, "How do I carry my wallet and keys? I have no pockets"

"That's what a pocketbook is for," Alice explained while Esther giggled. "Here's a green one that will match your skirt and blouse."

Before the three of them went downstairs to where Grace was playing in front of her grandfather, Al put his keys and wallet in his "new" purse.

"Wow!" Bob said. "You look just as pretty as your sisters. You know, I want you to be my son, not a girl, yet, you seem right this way."

"Picky up, mommy!" cried Grace.

"I thought so, too, daddy." Al said as he picked her up.

'Daddy?' Al thought. 'I may be getting into being Alison more than I expected.'

"Daddy," Al continued. "May I call Becky? I want to try to talk to her. Maybe what I'm doing won't be necessary."

"Suit yourself, honey," Bob said. "But I think you would be better off without her."

"Whether that is true, is less important than I love her and need her. And the kids miss her, too."

"I don't think so," Alice told him. "Look how happy they are without her."

By the end of that sentence Al was already at the phone. Not only didn't he hear what she said but also, he still didn't want to hear it. After three rings his mother-in-law picked up.

"Hi, mom. This is Al. Is Becky there?"

"Rebecca doesn't want to talk to you, Al," his mother-in-law told him. "She also told me in case you called, to tell you to get a lawyer. She wants a divorce."

"A divorce?" Al asked, still not believing what he just heard.

"I'm sorry, Al," she said. "If it were up to me you would still be together, but she said she has made up her mind."

"What does she want from me with the divorce?"

"Nothing," his mother-in-law said.

"What about the girls?"

"Not even them. She says that they think you are their mother so she isn't going to make them miserable by fighting for them."

"Tell her I'll be reasonable with visitation rights."

"That is kind of you, Al."

"Kindness has nothing to do with it. The girls need their mother."

"I think you would be a better mother than she would."

"Not you too," Al said, surprised that everyone seemed to be thinking the same way.

"I tried to teach Rebecca well, but it didn't work out that way."

"I also have ulterior motives," he continued. "I'm hoping that by her seeing them she might want to be with me again."

"I hope so, too, but I don't think it will happen. I've seen her this stubborn before. I'm really sorry, Al."

"Mom, don't be a stranger either. The girls need their other grandparents."

"We will, and thank you for still calling me mom."

"You have done much for Rebecca and me, mom. I just can't stop loving you or Becky, even if she wants to end our marriage. Perhaps you can help her see things differently."

Then Al heard his mother-in-law crying on the other end.

"I'm sorry, ma. I didn't mean to upset you. The best I can do right now is give you a hug over the phone."

"It is just that I don't think that I will be seeing you as much as I would like to in the near future. I wish it would be different. And I feel that hug."

"Are you sure there is no way I can talk to Rebecca?"

"Let me see."

Al heard both of them talking in the background. Rebecca sounded angry.

"What?" Rebecca asked in an annoyed tone.

"I want you back, Rebecca. I need you and love you."

"I am very serious about us getting a divorce," Becky icily told him. "I love you and the children very much, but I have been very unhappy since Grace was born, maybe before, and I want out of the marriage."

"You are unhappy? Why?"

"I just can't deal with you being the mother of our children," she explained. "It is not you. I think there's something wrong with me. I need to straighten myself out before I can continue with our relationship. I doubt that that will ever happen."

"But I love you and need you. I don't know how I will get along without you."

"You will find a way to get on with life, Al."

"And the girls need their mommy."

"You are a better mother to them that I will ever be. Take care of them. They will need you."

"Please, Rebecca, reconsider. I need you."

"This is tough enough as it is, Al. I've thought about this a long time. I need my sanity and right now that means my freedom. I'm sorry Al. I wish things were different. Don't call me again. Contact me only though our lawyers."

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

"Be a man."

"Huh?"

"You're a good mother, Al, because you are a woman," she finally admitted. "That is because you act and think like a woman. I feel like we're in a lesbian relationship. The only way you're not is that you have that penis that got me pregnant with our girls."

"How can you say we're lesbians if I'm a man."

"Only between your legs. You even walk and sit like a girl. Listen to me carefully. Even your voice sounds more like a woman's that and man's. We have a number of girlfriends? You don't treat them as if we are your harem. They are GIRL friends to you."

"So?"

"That's why I have to leave. I'm not a lesbian and I can't deal with you because you are a woman who dresses like a man. I'm sorry."

"I'm a man," he said trying to convince himself.

"You are? You are even color coordinated. What are the girls wearing?"

"The Girrls Rule t-shirts and maroon shorts."

"And you?"

"Green," he said.

"The only thing missing is your green pocketbook."

"That I have."

"And your skirt is completely green?"

"There is some red in it. Oops!"

"See?"

"I still love you."

"I'm not a lesbian."

"Where will you go? What will you do?"

"I will be at my parents' home until I find a place to live. You will not know where that is."

"No matter what you do you will always have a home with us," Al assured her.

"Thank you, Al," she replied. "I appreciate that, but I don't think I will ever come back."

"And please change your mind." Al suggested, but the phone went dead before he even spoke those words.

Al realized he was crying. Alice was listening by the kitchen entrance at the time and consoled Al with a hug as she listened as he told her what happened.

After a few minutes she told him that they must get ready. Because his tears ruined his makeup, she fixed it so he would be presentable again.

"We're taking the girls," she said as she finished. "We'll go to the park so they can play after you see the doctor."

"OK," Al responded. "I'll get the diaper bags and changes for the kids. What about lunch? We'll be out through then."

"Help me pack a lunch for the outing."

Chapter 6

They took Alice's car. Fortunately Al didn't have to wait long for the doctor.

"Hi Gina," Alice said as she gave the doctor a hug. "This is Alison. You know her as Albert. Ally, this is my good friend, Gina."

"We'll see what we can do for you, Ally."

"And who are these two lovely children?" Gina asked.

"They are my daughters," Alison replied.

"They are cute," the doctor said to Ally. Then to the girls, "Don't worry, kids. I'm going to be the doctor for your mommy today."

Concerned, Esther asked, "You give him a shot?"

"I don't know," Gina replied. "We'll see if it is necessary."

Trying to be a big girl, Esther said, "Dey hurt, Mommy."

"I know, sweetie," Alison replied. "The doctor and I will decide if I need one."

"Here's a lollypop for each of you," Gina added. "Now be good girls while I take care of your mommy."

Alice unwrapped the lollypops for her grandchildren while Ally followed the doctor to the examining room.

"Now that we're alone," the doctor said as she checked his blood pressure. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well," Ally said. "My wife left me last night. We are probably headed for a divorce. I'm going to be the one having custody of the kids. They need a mother. I'm doing this for them."

"And how do you feel about doing it?"

"I've felt like I was a girl since I was old enough to know that there were boys and girl. I didn't realize how much I did until my wife left me."

Alison was directed to the scale where she was weighed and her height taken.

"So you really want to do this?"

Ally thought about that as the doctor listened to her chest.

Finally Ally told the doctor, "I am Alison so if you don't put me on hormones I'd be disappointed."

"How did you have theses thoughts or feelings before?" asked Gina as she did Ally's blood pressure.

"When I was younger I often played with my sisters as their sister. Most of my friends were girls, but since I've been an adult I never even dressed in fem." Ally replied. "But the weird part about this is that the more I do this the more I want to do this. And the longer I do it the more I think I'm doing the right thing."

"Do you like men?"

"I was never gay. I was always straight, except for a dream last night," Al said before explaining the dream.

"Are you aware that the hormones could possibly have you liking men?"

Ally thought for a few minutes.

"If it does, it does." Ally finally responded. "That way the girls might eventually have a father. If I still like girls then I won't mind a lesbian relationship. Rebecca, that's my wife, said ours was."

After a few more basic examination procedures the doctor said, "I'm going to take some blood for some tests and I want a urine sample. You will make an appointment with me for a week from today. If the labs are good then you can start on the estrogen."

"You can't do anything now?"

"It would be malpractice for me to start you on anything without making sure you are healthy enough for me to give you anything. The only other thing I can do for you right away, is to get you in touch with a shrink so that your real life test time can start sooner," Gina said as she wrote the name of a specialist dealing in transgender issues on one of her prescription pads.

"Real life test?" Alison asked.

"At the very minimum, you must be officially living as a woman for a year before they will do the operation."

"Operation?"

Sexual reassignment surgery."

"What's involved there?"

For a few seconds Ally was a little squeamish at the prospect of loosing her present sexual organs after Gina told her what would be done. For a split second she started to put her hand down there in an effort to protect her jewels. But the longer she thought about it, the more she liked the idea that eventually she would be complete. When Ally got dressed she did something that was out of character for Al, she gave Gina a hug.

Chapter 7

After taking care of the co-payment for the visit, Ally and her family went to the park. Ally sat and talked to her mother as the children played. Eventually another mother said hello to Ally and asked if she was new to the neighborhood.

"I'm probably buying my parents' home," Ally replied. "The kids and I stayed the night there and we decided to come to the park for a while. I guess when we settle in we will be regulars here."

"It is good of your husband to let you buy your childhood home," she replied.

Ally started to cry.

"What's the matter, dear?" asked the other woman.

"I…I" said Ally through tears. "I'm getting a divorce."

The other woman put her arm around Ally as she explained and continued to cry. The other woman eventually asked Ally how she could buy the house if she was getting a divorce. When Ally explained how she had investments that would pay for it the woman understood. Although she didn't know it, the crying was actually a cleansing act for Ally. She needed to start to get over Becky and this was the first act.

The rest of the time the two talked about the pros and cons of diapers, Pampers, Loves, and Huggies, the best way to toilet train and where to shop. Alison even got a beauty parlor suggestion. When Alison had time to think about the conversation later she realized she enjoyed talking to the other mother. Even the crying had been a positive sharing.

Later Alice and Ally took the children to Friendly's to have some ice cream.

While they were there, Ally told her mother, "You know, you shouldn't have suggested these changes, and I should be screaming my head off about them. Also, Dad and the kids should be at least a little upset about this. Yet everyone, including me, is comfortable with them."

"Maybe we all see the real you and that's Alison, not Albert."

"That could be," she replied. "And I know I'm doing this for the kids but I'm also doing it because it feels right."

"Remember that you don't have to go along with anything because you are supposed to. That would be wrong. Do it because in you heart you know it is right. Also, you can always change your mind."

Alison put her hand in her mother's, "Thank you, mom. I knew you'd understand. You may know me better than I do."

"Believe or not, a parent does understand."

"You gained a lot of wisdom since I was twelve, mom," Alison kidded.

After everyone finished their ice cream and drinks, Alison took out her credit card and gave it to the waitress to pay.

"Is this your husband's credit card?" the waitress asked when she returned.

Thinking quickly, Alison replied, "Yes it is."

"I suggest you get one in your name," the casher explained.

"We'll take care of it as soon as we can." Alison noted as she decided to get all her credit cards in her feminine name as soon as she could make the calls.

On the way home, Alison told her mother of her decision and why.

Alice giggled then said, "That means you're committing yourself to being Alison."

"I think I am Alison. Everything I've done so far seems right."

"I know you don't want to do this yet, but get Becky off all of your credit cards. It has to be done."

Reluctantly Ally agreed.

Chapter 8

When they got home Bob gave Ally the name and phone number of his lawyer. Alison called as the girls played nearby. The attorney told Albert that he would contact Becky's lawyer and see what arrangements were necessary after he saw Al. He also told Albert that he shouldn't even sign the contract on the house until things were settled. Al told his lawyer that he had been informed that Becky didn't want the children, and if that was true, Al insisted that Becky have visitation rights. The lawyer told him the amount of the retainer fee and told him to meet him in the office the next day with the check and the name of Becky's lawyer, if possible.

After Al got off the phone he asked his mother, "What should I wear? Should I go as Alison or Albert?"

"Who are you?" she asked.

"This is all new to me. I am Alison."

"In that case, dress as Alison. Your lawyer needs to know everything that may affect the divorce. You will need clothes. I'll ask Bob to watch the kids while we shop, my treat."

When Bob heard that he turned to his wife and said, "I'm losing my son because you're turning him into a sissy and I have to pay for his change?"

"Are you really losing your son or was she always your daughter?"

"What do you think, son?"

While his parents were talking Al sat head bowed, his feet on the floor and his hands in his lap like a young lady being berated, but when his father asked he raised his head and said, "I am your daughter, daddy. It just seems right."

"From being a man and a father to being a girly boy?"

"Yes, daddy, but not a girly boy, a mother. That is the most important part."

"If the girls weren't involved?"

"Then I might not have realized how necessary it is for me to be a woman and a mother, their mother."

Esther went up to Alison and gave her a hug, "Tank you mommy. You da best mommy in the whole world."

Returning her daughter's hug, Alison gave her a kiss and added, "I rest my case."

Alice took Ally to several shops in the area getting dresses, blouses, skirts, some slacks, shorts, lingerie, bras, panties, stockings, shoes and makeup. Their last stop was a jewelry counter that did ear piercing where Alison got diamond studs. They also bought a diamond necklace and a gold bracelet. They thought those clothes would take care of Alison's needs for a few days.

After they finished they went to Al's apartment and took the children's clothes and some of the food. Becky had already left, taking with her most of her clothes, toiletries and jewelry. Alison found a note on the kitchen table giving her the name of Rebecca's lawyer.

Chapter 9

Late the next morning Alison waited about a half an hour with her father before meeting with John Codero. When he found out that Alison was also Albert he verbally abused her.

"You don't treat my daughter like that," Bob told John. "No matter how you feel about her being a girl. Are you going to behave yourself, or is she going to have to sue you?"

"Maybe my partner could take you instead," Codero suggested.

After a brief phone conversation his partner, Dave Seitzman, walked to the reception area and took over while Cordero left.

"I'm sorry for my partner's behavior," he apologized. "I understand you are Albert who wants to be known as Alison. I have no problem with that."

She thanked him before telling him she would explain everything in the meeting room. When they were seated she handing Dave a check for the amount his partner had stipulated as a retainer.

"I'm only asking the following as your legal representative. How long have you been Alison?" he asked.

"It is complicated," Ally replied. "Until Rebecca left me two nights ago I had thought I was a man, but everybody, including Becky, was telling me that I am a better mother to our children than she ever was. They also see me as a woman."

"Do you see yourself as a woman?"

"Yes, after Becky left that night I couldn't stay at the apartment alone so I took our kids and stayed at my folks house for the night. Mom gave me a nightgown to sleep in. It wasn't the first time I had ever dressed up. I did it often when I was a kid, but I hadn't done it since I met Rebecca. It is just that everyone thinks that I'm a girl. I know what is between my legs, but I think I am a woman between my ears."

"Do you want your children? Does Rebecca?"

"From what I've been told Becky doesn't want our kids and I couldn't bear to be without them. It is hard enough being without Rebecca."

"Do you know what she wants from you?"

"Apparently nothing. She just wants out of the marriage, and said what she has is enough. Here is the note that she left on the kitchen table. It spells out the basics that she wants."

After reading the note Dave said, "She apparently doesn't even want visiting rights, nor any money."

"I insist she has reasonable visiting rights. She may not want to have them, nor does she need to use them now, but when she realizes what she has done to herself and the kids I want her to know she already has those rights. I don't want to have go to court for something that can be settled now. As far as money is concerned, she should have some. I just need enough to buy my parents' home and to care for my babies."

"This is the weirdest divorce I have ever heard of. I'll talk to her lawyer and we'll see what we can do. Now I'm telling you the following as your lawyer trying have you to keep you children. If we are dealing with her lawyer or if we are in the court for your divorce, dress as Albert."

"Could there be a problem?"

"My partner isn't the only one who can get angry or standoffish if you are Alison. The less complications the better, that is until I tell you differently. Otherwise I suggest you do what you need to do. In fact, I admire your courage."

"Thank you for your advice. I will keep it in mind."

The rest of the time Alison dealt with finances and assets that Becky and she had and what she was willing to give up or wanted to keep in the divorce. This included things that were in Albert's name, Becky's name and those held jointly. Dave told Ally that most personal possessions would probably remain with the main user. He gave as an example that Becky's jewelry would remain with her.

Chapter 10

Early the next week Alison returned to the doctor's office and officially started on hormones. She was happy that she would finally start looking, acting and feeling more like a woman, but it was actually anticlimactic for Ally, being more of a relief.

A few days later, Ally noticed that her nipples seemed sensitive and that she had two "bumps" on her chest. Ally was ecstatic and her mother thought they were cute. Finding out, Esther asked if she would get them.

"You will start to grow them in a few years," Ally explained. "The good news is that unlike me you won't need to take a pill to grow them."

"Want dem now!"

"I know you do, honey, but you are still a kid. And being a kid and growing up is the most fun time of your life. You wouldn't want to miss it."

"But I cans do whats I wants if I'm a grownup."

"Yes, but learning to do that is part of growing up," Ally explained as she gave Esther a hug. "Most of the time growing up is fun."

Ally often took her kids to the park and talked with some of the other young mothers. One lived only a couple of blocks away from Ally and had two girls the same age as Alison's. After introducing the kids, they made arrangements to have their first play date.

One day when they got home after an exhausting afternoon for the kids, Alison was told that she needed to call her lawyer. She put the children down for a nap before calling him.

"I have good news and bad news for you, Alison," Dave said. "The bad news is that she is insisting on a divorce. There is no way we can stop it. Unless you fight it or refuse to assist the divorce you can be single again in a matter of months."

"I see," Alison responded. "Did you mention counseling like I asked?"

"Yes, and her lawyer told me she had vehemently rejected that idea before we even talked, sorry. The good news is that she doesn't want the children, nor visiting rights. I told her lawyer that you insisted that her visiting rights be in the divorce, and he quickly accepted both the idea and the terms, on the proviso that Rebecca also agreed. Her lawyer got back to me just before you called and told me she had agreed to the terms, but she won't be using her right to see them for a while, at least."

"Did her lawyer know what 'a while' meant?"

"No. He implied that she doesn't know what that meant."

"Well, at least she is more agreeable to seeing the children. I can't have her cut herself off from them. It is bad enough that she is cutting herself off from me. What about her needs? What about money?"

"She claimed she only wanted what was in her name and didn't want what was jointly held. It seemed like a ploy so when I offered the 10% of the joint holdings in exchange for no child support her lawyer asked for 30% and we compromised at the 20% you had suggested. The divorce is apparently final, except it needs to be filed and the judge has to approve it, but that's a formality. Figure six months from now you will be a free woman. That's it from my end. Anything you need to tell me?"

"I'm on hormones now."

"Congratulations. That shouldn't interfere with the divorce."

Chapter 11

After the conversation Alison took off her wedding ring and placed it in the jewelry box she just bought. Next, Ally nervously called the phone number of the psychiatric social worker that Gina had recommended. She was surprised that the Sophia had more of a deep male voice. When she went for the interview she noticed that Sophia was taller than she was. Although she didn't ask and Sophia didn't say it, Ally suspected her councilor had transitioned or was in the process of doing so.

After Ally gave the preliminary data she explained how and when she had dressed as a woman before. When Rebecca left her she decided to end the charade and started the process partially to be a mother for her daughters.

"So you are doing this for you children?"

"I'm also doing this for me and I'm happier this way. This is me. I know I am a woman."

"If you had to be Albert again to keep your daughters?"

"I'd rather not think of that."

"I know it is painful, but you need to."

"It would tear me up inside, but I would dress like a man to keep them. I love them and have to protect them, but I would still take the hormones. That I wouldn't stop."

"Why not?"

"Since I've been on hormones I feel calmer, and freer. I also feel like I can take care of my babies better. I don't know if I would think enough like a mother without the pills. I enjoy my new femininity."

"How?"

"It is liberating. I feel freer. It is a part of me."

"You say that the pill make you think more like a woman, yet everyone said you were more of a mother than your ex."

"That is true, but I understand more. I have a little more empathy. I believe that I'm more caring and those are definitely changes for the better."

When the session was over she thought it went well. She made arrangements to keep the same time every week. Sophie also gave Ally information about meetings of a local transgender group.

Chapter 12

On Esther's birthday Alison gave her a birthday party at a small amusement park a few miles from their home. She invited Esther's nursery school class and all the four-year-olds and two-year-olds in the neighborhood she knew. The kids enjoyed the rides and the running around as the parents and teachers talked to each other as they kept an eye on their children.

Because Alison had invited her former parents-in-law, Rebecca knew about the party and showed up with them. It was the first time since they had separated that Becky had seen Alison or their children. Ally was slightly embarrassed when Becky finally recognized her because Rebecca didn't know about Alison.

"So you want to be called Alison. Now do you understand why I want a divorce?"

"You were right. I am a woman," she put her hand on her heart. "At least here."

"Are you happy this way?"

"Surprisingly, yes. What about you? Are you OK?"

"I'm better, Ally. I had all this anger towards you and the children, especially my feeling that we were in a lesbian relationship. I am better off divorced. It is not your fault. I know it is illogical, but I resented the love between you and our girls. By the way, you look good and it suits you."

"Thank you. Will what I am effect custody?"

"I need you to have custody at this time, and you should have it. You're too good with our girls for me not to let you keep them, and I can't deal with them for more than a few hours right now. There is the remote possibility that I might share them with you, but I don't think that will happen."

"I could share them with you if it is done fairly. Please visit, and not just on birthdays. You may not believe this, but they need you. If necessary, the visit could be supervised, but only if you need it."

"You're doing a good job without me, but I will consider it."

"I know they would appreciate it. Just try to make arrangements so we don't have conflicting plans."

Esther and Grace were having so much fun that they didn't notice Rebecca until her present was given to Esther. When Alison explained whom the present was from, the girl ran to Rebecca followed by her younger sister. They gave Becky a clinging hug that made her cry.

Becky's presence confused some of the other mothers. Ally explained the truth to them together, and with some individually. But Denise, one of the mothers, believed that Alison was not a woman and dressing as one was a lie.

Alison pulled Denise over and tried to explain, "You believe that my shell is more important than my actions and thoughts?"

"But you're a man!"

"Am I? Before I explained who Rebecca was did you think I was anything else but a woman?"

Denise paused, "Come to think of it, no," she admitted.

"Did you know I was present in the birth rooms when my girls were born? Granted, I was more of a midwife than the one giving birth. Right now I care for my daughters as their mother, and they call me 'mommy.' I am the one that feeds them, clothes them, makes sure they have a clean and safe environment, gives them adequate play time, reads to them, takes care of them when they are sick, and of course, keeps them clean. The last part, as you know with your girl, is easier said than done. I know your husband helps, but does he really do as much care taking of your child as you do?"

"No, he doesn't. His main job for the family is to make the money. Often he is tired and can't do much. He does the best he can."

Ally saw some pain in Denise's face so she held her hand and said, "I believe that he does. I assume he would do more if he could."

"He would. He's that kind of person."

"I hope to meet a man like that someday."

"You're so perky, I think it is only a matter of time."

"Do you realize that you just indirectly told me I'm a woman?"

"Yep."

"So I really don't have to tell you that like many other single mothers with young children, I have a part-time job to help pay the bills. I feel lucky to have a job that I can do from the house. Granted, because my parents live with us, they help, but it is help and advice. They don't take over.

Denise smiled and gave Allison a hug, "You now have a friend, dear."

"Then come with me to the ladies room. I need to pee."

They grabbed their bags and took care of their needs, including freshening up their faces.

Chapter 13

Ally was in a bookstore few days later looking for books for her girls and herself. She found several books for her children. Two of them had plushy toys connected to them that she knew her babies would love. She also found an interesting romance novel for herself. Taking her finds to the counter, she gave them to the handsome man at the register.

"Are any of these gifts?" he asked.

"No they are for my little girls. Why?"

"You are not wearing a wedding or an engagement ring," he noted.

"I'm getting a divorce," she told him. "I'm just waiting for the final papers."

She didn't know why she told him that, but she was smiling at him.

"Are you seeing anyone now?"

"No," she replied as she slowly closed her eyes and opened them.

"I'm surprised that no one has tried to get you."

"I haven't really been looking."

"By the way, I'm Charlie and I own this store. May I take you out for dinner and maybe a movie?"

"Sure. When?"

"How about Saturday night, say around seven? I don't have to open the store until noon on Sunday.

"OK."

She gave him her name phone number and address.

Chapter 14

On her next visit to Sophia Ally was excited and told her social worker all about Charles and how she'd enjoyed his company.

"Charley took me on a date for us to go dinner and a movie. We went to this fancy restaurant and we talked for hours. We never made it to the movie. He makes me feel so pretty. I like what he says and what we do. I just want to be with him. He's so gorgeous."

"What about sex?"

"I invited him in for a nightcap and I leaned into him as we sat. He did grope my breasts for a while. I liked it, but we didn't do anything else."

"Did you tell him you still have male parts?"

"Not yet, but I will. Probably this weekend."

When they had the date, Charles took the news of her sex change well, or so Ally thought.

Chapter 15

A few days later Ally received her copy of the final divorce. Although it was anticlimactic, Ally still shed a few tears. Dave then filed her petition to change her legal name and sex.

When she went to her social worker, Ally explained, "It is just that I feel like I failed."

"Could you have done anything different?"

"I would have had to be a man, and I guess from what everyone has pointed out, I don't know how to do that. I also didn't see Rebecca's depression. When I spoke to her she seemed much happier now. She told me she has a boyfriend named Ben, and said she is in love with him. Also I've filed for my new legal name and sex. It should only take a few weeks. When that's finished, I'll be buying my parent's home."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'll feel that it will be really my home, then."

"I mean about the legal changes."

"That is me. I am Allison, daughter of my parents and mother to my daughters. I didn't think I was unhappy at the time, but I like being Allison more than I did being Albert. He doesn't seem to be real to me anymore. I also feel more complete, but the only way I will finally feel complete is to have the surgery."

"What about your boyfriend?"

"Charley seems to be a bit more distant lately. Despite what he claims, I believe that to him I'm not a real girl."

"How do you feel about that?"

"It hurts. I wish it could have worked out with us. And I AM a real girl."

"Are you going to see him again?"

"Yes, at least for the time being."

Chapter 16

On their next date Charlie seemed distant and was not talkative. They got back to the house and Ally tried to kiss him.

"What's wrong, Charlie?"

"It's nothing."

"If it was nothing you wouldn't be so silent tonight. Until tonight I wondered if I could ever keep you quiet enough."

"I can't talk about it."

"Out with it," she insisted as she poked him as she grabbed him

He shied away and explained, "I know you look act and think like a woman and I'm physically and emotionally attracted to you because of what you appear to be. But I can't get over the fact that you were once a man."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not gay. I'm sorry."

"This is the end."

It wasn't a question.

"I'm afraid so."

Chapter 18

One day while watching the kids at the park, Janice, one of the other mothers, told her, "I've been admiring your jewelry. As a divorcee, how can you afford so much, even if it is costume jewelry?"

"Almost everything is real," Alison replied.

"Your ex-husband must be very wealthy, if you got so much in your settlement."

"Actually, It has always been all mine. I am a jeweler and designer. I make them on consignment for a lot of the jewelry stores in the area and some of the manufacturers as well as doing piecework. They help pay the bills. Some of my designs are one of a kind, or I make a half a dozen times, and I do have patents or they are pending. Some of what you have seen me wear is going to be sold, and some is already in the stores. You see I want to wear most of my designs to see if they feel comfortable. Did you see those sapphire earrings I was wearing last week?"

Janice stopped to think, "Do you mean the turtles with the big blue eyes?"

Ally nodded, "Those were the ones. I removed the eyes and have already re-used the gold. They might have looked good, but they didn't hang right. They were too heavy. I redid the design, with a sort of lacework to outline the segments in the shell, and a platinum backing, but otherwise hollow. It should only weigh about 1/3 as much, and be much more comfortable to wear."

"Do you do private work?"

"Sometimes, but my work isn't cheap. What do you have in mind?

"Have you looked in the window at Samuel's downtown?"

Ally nodded, almost certain she knew which piece she was talking about. "Which one?"

"I'm thinking of the Diamond and Ruby Brooch in the platinum setting he puts under the spot in the center of the widow. Could you make me something like that, only smaller to meet my price? $10,0000 is a bit out of our price range. John likes it too, and says, 'Someday,' but you know how that is, with kids, someday will never come. Now if it were 1/3rd that price, we might just go for it."

"I know the piece. I made it. And I could make you one just like it for your price. That piece was made to order for the wedding gift of a girl here in town. But when she eloped, her father decided she didn't deserve it, and Samuel's were afraid they were stuck with it. Then they decided it would be good advertising, so they bumped up the price four times, to keep it from being sold. They use it on the cover of their catalog, binders, and brochures. But I liked the design so much, I refused to sign an exclusive on it. I cannot make a perfect copy, but it if is more than 10% larger or smaller, or uses different stones, I can do it."

"You can? How much?"

"Do you like sapphires?" Ally nodded. "I've been thinking I'd like the design with blue star sapphires. I can make it with genuine blue stars for about $1800-2200.00, or with manmade stars for $1500-2,000. Personally, I believe the manmade star sapphires look better, in my opinion, than the real ones. But don't breathe that around, please."

"Manmade? Fakes?"

"Usually, manmade stones really look fake, and they aren't made from the same material, like you find at the Jewelry TV Network. But these are made from exactly the same molecules, and because they were grown under controlled conditions, they do not have any of the impurities, so they are more perfect than any real stone, and, I think, more beautiful."

"I'd have to see them to understand what you're saying."

"I can arrange that. I can make a steel and glass version for you to look at as I do not keep stones on hand as a general rule. I usually install the stones at the last minute, usually in my customer's store, where the stones are normally delivered."

Ally made a sale, or at least a preliminary sale, right there.

Chapter 19

A few days later, when Alison went food shopping for her family, including for her parents. Behind her on the line was a handsome man who started a conversation with her.

After she paid he asked her, "Could you wait a minute? I'd like to see you again."

She did and he helped her put her groceries into her car.

"My name's Steve, by the way," he said as he smiled.

"Alison," she replied with a smile of her own.

"Could I take you out this Wednesday?"

"Strange day of the week," she replied. "Here's my phone number and address."

"Pick you up about six?"

"Sounds good."

"I'll call to confirm."

Ally drove home happily.

The day of the date he took her to dinner and a movie. After the date she invited him back to her house. They kissed as they started to explore each other's body. As Ally kissed his fingers, she noticed a band of white skin around his ring finger and stopped what she was doing.

"Don't," she told him as he tried to take off her blouse.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You're married."

"We just broke up," he explained.

"That's two lies."

"Two?"

"By taking me out you implied you were not married, and you just told me that you aren't living with her. The finger where your wedding band should be tells me different."

"She doesn't understand me."

"That might be the first thing you told me that is true. If it is then make her understand you. While you're at it try to understand and appreciate her. Good by."

"Good by?"

"If I had known you were married we wouldn't have gone this far. Don't bother contacting me again. I'll tell your wife if you do. I refuse to be the other woman."

As Steve was leaving she told him, "Also I'm a pre-op male to female transsexual."

"I almost fucked a man?" he asked as he turned back with his fist ready to strike.

"Go ahead," Alison chided. "Hit me and I'll prefer charges. What you threatened helps prove how irresponsible you really are."

Hearing the commotion, Alison's parents came into the main part of the house from their apartment.

"You're not going to hurt my daughter!" Bob shouted. "She told you to leave, so go!"

"If you don't," Alice added as she opened her cell phone. "I'll call the police."

Realizing his predicament, Steve slammed the door as he left. Alison was crying.

Chapter 20

It was a hot day early in May so Alison suggested to the girls that they play in the sprinkler she was using to water the lawn. After Ally dressed them in bathing suits the girls ran outside and Ally walked over to the faucet and turned on the sprinkler then sat on the stoop watching her daughters. Esther was the first to get to the sprinkler's spray and she squealed because of the coolness of the water. She then jumped through the water to the other side. Grace climbed with her little feet over it. Ally put her head in her hand and her elbow on her knee as she watched. She realized she was smiling as she watched.

Ally was daydreaming a bit because she didn't notice the kids pick up the sprinkler until they hit her with the water. She pretended to be angry and chased her little monsters making them drop the sprinkler. After chasing them for a minute, Ally fixed the sprinkler so it would again water the lawn properly, before joining her daughters running through the spray.

About ten minutes later a car drove up and parked in front of her next-door neighbor's home. Mark, Ally's childhood best friend, got out of his car. Like Ally's folks, his parents had never moved. Ally still had fond memories of playing football and baseball with Mark, who was a year older than Ally and was about to receive his master's degree in engineering in a few days. She also remembered time they went to the movies and concerts together. She never told him that she felt like she was his girlfriend on those occasions.

Ally had heard from Mark's parents that he had landed a well paying job in the area and would be staying with them until he had the money for his own home. She smiled at Mark as he walked into his home. Mark looked her way and smile back, as he went inside. About five minutes later Mark came out wearing a bathing suit and sat down next to Ally, who had already dried herself off from being in the water.

"You know," Mark told Ally. "If my mother hadn't told me that you were once Al, I would have thought you were Maggie."

"You did want to get her in bed," Ally replied.

"I did want to date her," he said truthfully. "But something bothered me about that. I guess I sort of knew that you were really a girl inside, and I preferred you. Do you know you are the only one I ever proposed to?"

"I didn't think it was a real proposal even if I liked what you said," Ally responded as she put her hand in Mark's.

"I did date a few other girls in college, but I always compared them to you, Ally."

"You thought of me as a girl back then?"

"I've thought of you as a girl ever since I discovered sex. To me you were the prettiest one around and a girl I always wanted to be with. I could always be myself with you."

"I've always felt the same. For most of our marriage it was the same with Rebecca."

"If you hadn't found her I would have recommended your sex change by now."

"I'm going to have my operation soon."

A few seconds later, his arm was around her shoulders. They both realized their soul mates had been right in front of them all the time. They stayed that way for a few minutes until they were sprayed by Ally's watchful munchkins. Ally instinctively gave Mark a hug that asked for protection as Mark's hug did that.

"He be daddy?" asked Gracie as she climbed onto her mother's lap.

"Don't know," replied Alison as she smiled up at Mark. "I think he will be."

"Please be our daddy," Esther said to Mark as she held her hand up to be picked up by Mark. "Mommy needs a boy to be our daddy."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, ah…" Mark said. "What's you name?"

"ESTHER!" she replied. "And I'm four!"

"And you?" he asked Grace.

"Gracie," she said shyly.

"And how old are you?"

Grace held up three fingers. Seeing her mistake, with her other hand she put the third finger down to show her real age.

"Well girls, I've known your mom since we were your age," he said to the two of them as he smiled. "It should work out that I will be your daddy. We already are good friends."

"Dat mean you her boyfriend?" asked Esther.

"I don't know. I hope so."

"You make smoochee?"

Mark looked at Alison and asked, "You want to make smoochee?"

Alison looked at Mark, closed her eyes and puckered her lips. He gave her a kiss that was long and sensual, making him bigger between his legs and her nipples pointy and hard.

When it was over, Mark told Esther, "I'm her boyfriend."

The two wet girls cheered before climbing up on Mark and gave him a hug, which quickly deflated his urgency. A few seconds later, the giggling girls dragged the two adults into the spraying sprinkler. Mark straddled the sprinkler and held a happily screaming Esther in the spray. After putting her down he did the same with Gracie as Ally assisted. He pulled Ally towards him and kissed her again. She kissed him back with all her might as her daughters teased them. She noticed that after the eternity of that kiss she was happily leaning into him. When she looked up into his eyes she saw his smile.

"Wana play with the sprinkler!" Esther shouted as she tugged Ally and Mark's bathing suits.

"Me too!" added Gracie as she helped pull her mother and friend. "Me too!"

Hand in hand Ally and Mark got out of the sprinkler and again sat down on the front steps of her home. She instinctively leaned into him as he put his arm around her.

After a while Mark asked her, "You doing anything tonight?"

"You mean other than feeding them, giving them a bath, reading to them and putting them to bed? No."

"Could you get a baby sitter?" he asked. "I'd like to take you out."

"I'll ask my parents if they could take them," Ally replied. "Just in case, could your parents take them?"

"I'll ask them. I feel it is important for me to be with you tonight, even more than when we were kids. You were often in my thoughts. I missed you, Ally."

After Alison fed her children and parents Mark took her to a nice restaurant that had a band. They were able to dance during and after the meal.

"You understand that I haven't had the operation yet, Mark?" she asked.

"At this time I'm taking things one day at a time," he replied. "Although I hope that there will be thousands of days."

"So do I."

They continued dancing.

"I had a great time tonight," Alison said at her front door.

"So did I."

As they kissed neither Mark nor Ally wanted the night to end.

"It doesn't have to end now," she said as they still hugged each other. "You can come in."

"I have to get to work tomorrow before some afternoon classes."

"I need you here with me," she explained as she opened the door and gently pulled him inside. "If you stay the night you only need to go next door in the morning to change and get your books."

"That's true."

She took him to her bed where they made love. After she cleaned herself up she set the alarm for him to get up in the morning then cuddled into him. He was already asleep but there was a contented smile on both of their faces that said that they belong together this way.

Chapter 21

The next night Mark came over after work. Ally added a plate on the kitchen table where they normally ate. Mark helped Ally with the dishes before reading a story, first to a sleepy Grace and then Esther. Although Esther wanted to stay up and fought to keep awake she had finally succumbed to the sandman.

When the children were asleep Alison popped a DVD into the player and they watched a movie. As they watched Alison cuddled into Mark with her legs on the couch. Having had a long day she fell asleep during the movie. After the movie was over Mark kissed her awake. Ally apologized before she realized she trusted him completely. Again, they had sex. They both considered it a great, added bonus to their relationship. The whole evening was one of the nicest times they had together.

From that night forward Mark constantly had his dinners with Alison and the girls. Sometime he took all three out. Sometimes he was just with Alison. Often her parents or his joined them, usually both. Alison's sisters and Mark's brother and sister were also occasionally there. Each day Mark and Alison fell in love more. Mark soon realized he also loved Esther and Grace. As far as he was concerned they were his family. They were treating him like the husband and father he was acting as and he knew he felt the same way.

Chapter 22

Finally the date for Alison's surgery arrived. Mark took some time off and took her to the hospital. He waited until he was told that she was recovering from the surgery before he left the hospital. He came back with the girls after she recovered enough that afternoon. In addition to the girls and flowers Mark had another present for his love, an engagement ring. Ally began to cry.

"Please say, 'yes,'" he pleaded.

"What about it, girls?" Alison asked them. "Do you want him for your daddy?"

"Yeah, mommy!" Grace exclaimed.

"I was hoping he would be," Esther added.

"Mark, if Rebecca agrees will you adopt my girls?"

"Only if she still has visitation rights."

"Then it's unanimous," Ally told Mark. "I will be your wife because I love you with all my heart."

Chapter 23

A few minutes later her surgeon came into the room.

"We just got engaged," Ally told the doctor.

"Congratulations," he said. There were complications with your surgery because we found something unusual."

"Complications?" Ally asked.

"Fortunately for you they are good complications."

"What do you mean?" Mark asked.

"Alison, did you have pains in your lower abdomen before?"

"About a week ago and about a moth previous, and I think maybe the month before that. Why?"

"You had a uterus and fallopian tubes before we operated, and possibly you have ovaries, also. We won't know for sure until we do a MRI. Because of that the operation was different. We used your penile skin to cover your uterine wall."

"What does that mean?"

"You were a true Hermaphrodite. What you experienced a week ago was your period. There's a chance that you can get pregnant. We're not sure about that."

"When will we know?" Mark asked.

"If the exam is positive you'll know when and if she gets pregnant the first time, not before."

"I'd like to try," Alison smiled at Mark.

"I don't suggest that until you are completely healed," the doctor explained. "The results of my surgery is right now worse than if you had a baby."

"I guess I'll be taking cold showers for a while," Mark noted.

"You can test the equipment in a few weeks," the doctor smiled.

Chapter 24

A few weeks later Rebecca agreed to the terms of the adoption that included her rights to have them overnight and to have a say in their upbringing. Even the children were happy with the arrangements.

Rebecca did take the children on a more consistent basis, including some overnight and full weekend visitations. Ben, her new husband, sometimes went with her and occasionally picked them up or dropped them off. He seemed like a nice guy and Mark became friendly with him.

Although she was glad for the occasional relief, Alison realized how much she missed her girls and always welcomed them back with open arms and tears.

It was during that time that Alison started to get her wish for reconciliation with Rebecca, although it was different than she had originally hoped for. They were becoming friends. Occasionally the four of them would do things together such as seeing a movie. Sometimes they also took Esther and Grace.

Chapter 25

Mark and Ally were fortunate to find out that the traditional egalitarian synagogue that they both had their bar mitzvahs had a wedding opening in late August. They made the arrangements and sent out the invitations. They also decided to become members.

"Would you like to use my wedding dress?" Alice asked when she found out they had a committed location and date.

"Maggie and Kay wore it at their weddings. I'd love to continue the tradition. May I try it on?"

Alice got the dress out of the cedar closet. It only has a slight musty smell.

"This was my mom's wedding dress," Alice explained as she helped Alison into the dress. "It is that old. It was also prettier than anything that was in style when you father and I got married and I just loved the idea that I was getting married in it, too."

"How does it feel?" Alice asked after she closed the zipper. "It looks like we won't have to do a thing."

"Feels great. It's not tight anywhere and not too loose. It is almost a perfect fit." She then went to the full length mirror, "I'm actually pretty in this dress."

"All of us who wore it were beautiful when we were married," Alice claimed as she shed few tears. "And you won't be an exception."

"I'll be the fifth one to wear it."

"Sixth," Alice explained as she helped her daughter out of the dress. "My sister, Miriam, wore it at her wedding, too."

"Makes me prouder to be part of the tradition. I hope Esther and Grace will wear it some day. Mom, let's check it for loose seams."

When they were finished checking the dress they put it back into the plastic bag. Alice took it downstairs to take it to the dry cleaner.

"That takes care of something old and something borrowed," Ally mused in front of her mother. "My gender is new. Maybe we'll make the bridesmaids dresses blue."

Chapter 26

Mark and Alison wanted to make sure there was religious significance to their wedding so the day before their wedding they made sure they went to synagogue and were granted ailot to read from the Torah and Haphtarah. The also sponsored a sit down kiddish after the services.

They had previously rejoined the synagogue and had given the rabbi the papers they needed for them to get married. That included copies of Albert's divorce and evidence of his religious divorce and a note from the surgeon that Alison was now female.

The day of Mark and Alison's wedding was perfect. The sun was shining and the temperature was ideal. Alice fed the children while Alison took a bath trying to relieve her nervousness. She didn't sleep well because Mark had been told to sleep in his bed at his parents' home. Alice helped Alison get the children in their powder blue dresses then helped her into her wedding gown before getting into her dress. Seeing her daughter was nervous, Alice hugged her daughter before applying makeup on both of them. Alison remembered that she could not wear jewelry at the wedding so she took off her engagement ring and handed that to her mother along with her earrings and necklace she would wear at the reception.

When Alison, her daughters and her parents arrived Maggie, her matron-of-honor, and Kay who was also in the wedding party greeted them. The numerous pictures taken relieved both Mark and Alison's jitters.

After that the rabbi took them into a private room where he and the cantor signed both the religious and state marriage certificates. Mark and Ally didn't know it, but they were officially married at that point.

Finally the wedding began. Grace held the basket and Esther tossed the little flowers on the carpet while they walked down the aisle and there were occasional comments of how cute they were. When they finished they sat between Alison's parents. Then the main wedding party entered. First Maggie and her husband entered followed by Steve, Marks' brother and best man along with his wife. Kay, and her husband and Judy, Mark's sister, and her husband went next. Mark's parent took him down the aisle to the wedding canopy.

It was now Alison's turn. Bob and Alice took her down the aisle to the tune of "Dodee Lee." They stopped just before the wedding canopy and Mark took her the rest of the way. She was beaming.

The rabbi and cantor sang the blessings to the couple. Mark then repeated the words the rabbi told him he needed to say before placing the wedding ring on Alison's finger. Alison repeated what the rabbi told her she needed to say. Mark broke the glass before they walked hand in hand back to the bridal suite to fulfill the fourth marriage requirement. After their sex they had fun at their reception despite having to meet and greet everyone.

They didn't know it at the time, but Mark made Alison pregnant that time.

Chapter 27

Mark and Alison invited a large group for Thanksgiving. Mark's family included his parents, brother, sister, their spouses and their children. Alison's includes both of Ally's sisters and their spouses and children. Because they didn't want a conflict over Esther and Grace they also invited Ben and Rebecca, her parents, her two brothers, their spouses and their children.

The women decided to divide the cooking tasks between them but did most of the cooking in the three kitchens in the two houses. Other than having the men help with getting the bread and cakes, they decided to let the men enjoy watching the football games on TV. That way the women would have less people in the way.

Noticing Rebecca's condition, Esther and Grace went up to her and asked, "Why you fat?"

"I'm not fat. I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?" asked Grace.

"She's going to have a baby, " Alison explained. "When is it due?"

"Mid March," Rebecca replied. "I'll need some of the baby stuff you still have from Grace."

"I'll have to take some of that back soon after that because I am also," Alison replied.

All the women hugged congratulations to both future mothers.

"How? You're the father of our children," asked Rebecca. "I thought that was impossible."

"When I had my surgery the doctors discovered that I had fully functioning ovaries and uterus. They merely cut off my balls, used my penile extension to create my vaginal lips, connected the opening to my uterus and redirected the flow of my urine. I didn't know it at the time, but when I was Albert I was intersexed, fully capable of being either a father or a mother."

"Ooohhh!" Marcy said. "The baby kicked."

"What happened?" asked Grace.

"Right now the baby is growing inside of me. It can move. When it hits my uterine wall I can feel it. We call it kicking because sometimes it is the baby's foot."

"Does it hurt?" asked Grace.

"Usually not. The baby's too small. The only time it is a pain is when it kicks up into my diaphragm when I'm breathing. Also I may wet my panties if it kicks at my bladder. Do you want to feel the baby kick?"

"Yeah."

Rebecca had a glow as she let Grace and the other children feel the baby kicking.

Later, when Mark led the prayer before the feast he also announced Alison's pregnancy while holding her hand. She was beaming.

I wish to thank the encouragement and assistance of Angela Rasch, Maggie O Malley, aka Maggythekitten and Holly Logan.

Aliah means to go up. In this case to be called up to read from the Torah.

The words of "Dodee Lee" come from "Song of Songs," part of what most of you call the "Old Testament." It is one of the oldest known soft core pornography and a beautiful love story.

The four requirements for a marriage are the Ketuba (religious wedding contract), two reliable witnesses, something of value (wedding ring) and consensual sex. Any one of the four makes them married.

The breaking of the glass is in memory of the Temple.

  

  

  

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