The Fates                                     by: Janet Stickney                                  JanetLynn17@Hotmail.com

 

The only way to overturn cruel Fates is to use the truth

Destiny is fate aggravated by chance. That's what dad always said. As I dressed I knew that it was true. Why else would I be pulling on a skirt? I finished dressing, joined my mother for breakfast, and thought about how the fates had been so kind to me.

My name was Jeff Grant. I'm 16 now, yet this all started when I was 15, just out of school for the summer. I had no plans for the summer except to do a few odd jobs, school wouldn't start until the fall, three whole months away. Three months to lay on the beach and get a tan. In our family we are able to call a family meeting, talk about things bothering us, and nothing said is ever let out of the room. That was good, and bad. Once, Beth, my sister told us she was pregnant, and it took all of my parents will power to stay calm, but in the end, she had the baby, then gave it up. She's now in college and doing just fine. Because of that one incident, a lot of heavy issues have been discussed, and hashed out.

Mom called the meeting, and I sat facing my parents, Beth was gone, leaving just the three of us. "Jeffrey, why do you have a skirt and blouse in your closet?" I thought I had hidden them pretty good, but obviously not. "Um…I… um…" "Why not just say that you wear them when we're not around?" Dad knew! "If you are going to dress up as a girl once in a while, then we think that you should at least let us see you." "No." "Then why have the clothes if you're not going to wear them?" "I was just…I tried it once just to see how I would look, that's all!" My parents said nothing more about it and I thought I had managed to outfox, or convince them. Not hardly.

When Beth was still at home she and I had been fooling around, and on a lark I had dressed up in her clothes. She did my hair and makeup for me. Wearing a dress with a short skirt, I looked in the mirror and was totally shocked at what I looked like! There wasn't one thing about me that even remotely gave any indication I was a male! In my stupor at how I looked, she talked me into taking a ride with her, then we stopped for lunch. Not one person had even looked at me strangely, so I relaxed and began to enjoy being dressed up. After that, well, it was like having a ravenous sweet tooth. Beth had awakened a craving in me that I didn't know I had, and that craving to dress like a girl grew and grew until finally, I got dressed a few times on my own. Now, I could make myself look almost as good as when Beth did it, except for the hair. I still struggled with my hair, but on the whole, I did pretty good, and had even gone out a few times on my own since then. Beth had let me have free run of her closet, but I had bought the skirt and blouse myself. I had no idea my parents had any inkling of what I was doing.

Mom got that one eyebrow look on her face, you know the one. It's when both eyebrows come together. With her lips tight, she spoke. "Let's see. You got all dressed up and went out with Beth, what? Three times? You have been all dressed up and out of the house, since she left for college, four times we know of. This is no longer just a "try it and see how I look" adventure Jeffrey." By the look on their faces, a denial wasn't going to work, so I tried another tact. "Okay, so what if I do? It doesn't hurt anyone." "It hurts me Jeff." Dad was grim faced. "I had a chat with Beth, and she told me that you look, using her word, "gorgeous". We want to see for ourselves Jeffrey." I was shocked because Beth and I had agreed to keep it a secret! Mom saw the look on my face and told me that she had talked to Beth about it. "I brought it up, not Beth." Mom sat back, looking just like dad. "You may have as much privacy as you want, take as long as you want. But before the end of dinner tomorrow we both want to see you, completely dressed as a girl, as if you and Beth were going out."

That was clear enough. It was not a request either. It was a demand, which gave me no choice at all. But I had to ask the obvious question. "Why? I only do it once in a while, it doesn't hurt anyone, and I keep it as private as I can." "Because something has come up, and we want to see you for ourselves Jeffrey!" Dad made it sound urgent, but mom softened it a bit. "Just do as we ask Jeffrey, and then you will find out. For now, all we want to do is see you all dressed up, and we mean the very best you can do."

That night I made a run to the drugstore, picked up a few things, and the next morning I started my transformation to the girl I called Kim. I knew that I could get ready in half an hour or so if I had to, but they wanted to see my best. I knew that if I had to do this, then it was in my best interest to dress in a way that left them no doubt at all how I felt about it. Denials aside, I was as going to rock them to their socks. I somehow knew that anything less would not do at all. I went into my sister's room and selected exactly what I was going to wear. I stayed in her room because she has her own bath, and started by using the hair removal cream, then took a scented bubblebath. In the room I slipped on the pink nylon panties, tucking myself before I wrapped the waist nipper around my waist and closed it. Then came the pantyhose, the padded pantybrief, then the only bra I owned. It was one of the new Pushemup bra's, size 36A. I kept it hidden in Beth's lingerie drawer. I slipped it on and fastened the front hooks, pulling my excess flesh into the small cups, then padded out with small oval foam pads. The dress was all black. I slipped it over my head and zipped it up, then stepped into the black heels. I sat at the vanity to do my makeup. I put on the foundation, blotting with powder, brushing away the excess. Then came the black eyeliner over and under each eye. Coral blusher, then a soft pink lipstick. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, added hoop earrings and a bracelet, then stood up. Looking in the mirror I knew I was almost done, and it had only been a few hours.

Mom ate lunch at the stroke of noon every day, which gave me time, so I sat at the vanity and applied the pink stick on nails, then added a bit of perfume. I looked in the mirror again and smiled. Kim, the girl standing there, had bodacious legs, a trim waist and a nice bust. Not exactly pretty, but not bad either. I glanced at the clock, drew in a breath, and opened the door. I wanted to show mom first, to get her reaction before I totally embarrassed myself in front of dad. My heels made no sound on the carpet, then, the click of them sounded on the hardwood floors as I walked into the kitchen. I stood in the doorway, my hands folded demurely in front of myself as mom turned to look at me. "Ohmygod!" I walked in and stood closer as her eyes roamed from head to toe and back. "Beth wasn't even close when she described you!" I sat across from her, still silent. "What is your name dear?" With a slight smile I said, "Kimberly Ann". "Your father will have a cow when he sees you Kimberly." "You both insisted mother, not me." "I know that, but we did not expect you to be so…" "Feminine?" "Yes, feminine." I had lunch with her, mom's eyes unable to stop looking at me without, I noticed, a smile in them.

"Can you tell me why you wanted me to do this? I mean, what's the big secret? If it's just to see me, then tell me that." Mom sat back in her chair and looked at me. "I guess I can tell you. Beth is getting married." "So?" "She wants you to be her Maid of Honor." "What!" "You heard me. When she told me, I didn't believe it either, until she told me how you looked. Now that I've seen you, she did not do you justice Kim. But, she did ask, so now we are asking you. Will you do this for Beth?" This was getting out of hand at a very rapid pace! Sure; I admit it. I like to dress as a girl, and yes, I'm pretty good at it. But this was way over the top! Way over! If I did this for Beth, every single person in the family would know about it, and I would instantly become the laughing stock of the family! "Is she nuts!? Me? As her Maid of Honor?" Mom nodded her head yes and sat looking at me. I could say no, but that might not be the end of it, especially now that mom has seen me. Or, I could say yes and possibly anger my dad, the rest of the family, and maybe my friends as well.

"We will not make you do this, but having seen you, I can't imagine why you would say no. The family will go along because Beth asked you. That, combined with the way you look will take away any of their objections. I uttered one word. "School". "We thought of that. Since you would have a lot of duties as her Maid of Honor, parties and so on, Beth suggested that we put you in a different school." My parents had covered every angle I could think of, and it looked like there was no escape for me. Unless… "I know a lot of kids at all of the other schools mom, that won't work." "Yes it will. We were thinking of Carson's." "But…but, that's an all girls school!" She nodded her head while giving me a big grin. "That's true, but they will make you into a perfect young lady, and give you an impeccable education to boot. Your mannerisms and so on will become more feminine and you'll learn how to dress correctly." "What if I don't want to be more feminine mom?" She shrugged her shoulders in a manner I knew meant, "what you want does not matter now", and I knew I was sunk.

"When is the wedding?" "In the Spring. That gives us almost a year to get you ready." "A Year! A whole year like this? Mom!" "Don't mom me Kimberly! You can't wait and you know it! All the rest is trash! Now then. No more talk about it. We'll make up a list of things you need, then see about getting them for you as soon as we can." With a sigh I gave in…almost. "It's a done deal isn't it? You and dad set this up." "Of course! How else could we get you to appear in front of us as a girl? Beth wanted you to do this for her, which shocked us of course, then, when she told us all about you, how you looked and all, we decided to let you decide for yourself, but checked into the school issue anyway, just to be sure. Based on the way you looked when I first saw you, I would say that this is exactly what you have always wanted to do. Not many boys can look better than some girls, and you do. That's why it's a done deal as you say."

I stayed in the house that afternoon, waiting for dad to come home. Mom and I set the table, finishing just as dad came in. His eyes zeroed in on me of course; I stood there, smiling through our mutual discomfort. "Dinner is ready daddy." I had not called him daddy, ever, and it shook him up a lot. "Dear, this is Kimberly Ann." His mouth hung open, his eyes wide in disbelief. "Kimberly has not agreed to become Beth's Maid of Honor, but she said she will let us know in the morning." I knew that he was hoping I would have looked like a cross between a clown and Morticia. I was his son, not his daughter, yet here I was, looking like a daughter, and calling him daddy. "I told her all about it dear. I had said no such thing; mom was giving me a chance to back out. It was up to me to take it, or not.

That night I sat on the couch watching television, still dressed. When I went to my room to change, there was a nightgown on my bed. In my heart, I knew there wasn't any question about it. Of course I would do it. What was bothering me was that huge bulge of fear in my throat. In the morning I went into my closet and took out my skirt and blouse, then went into Beth's room and did my makeup, pulling my hair into a ponytail. When I appeared at the breakfast table, mom merely looked at me. "Good morning Kimberly! Before we go out I need to get a few measurements, unless you have them of course." "I have them mother, but before we go anywhere, I want to ask to be able to select what looks good on me, not what you want me to have." "Within reason, okay."

As she and I did the dishes, a question came up in my mind. "If I go to Carson's, and they think I'm a girl, just how do we get around the times I might have to change? Being in a room full of naked girls sounds nice, but if I get naked, a riot will break out and all hell will drop on us!" "We asked them about that already." "You told them I'm not a girl!" "Of course we did, and why not? They have to know if you want to avoid the scenario you just described don't they?" "Mom!" She ignored my protests as if I hadn't said a word, pointing at my purse and asking me to get my measurements. "We have a lot of stops to make today, so you might want to wear flats Kim." I changed my shoes, pulled the slip of paper with my measurements out of the dresser, and rejoined her.

The first place we went was a prosthetics shop. To my enduring shame, I stood red faced, naked to the waist as I was fitted for breastforms. It did not take the woman very long to place a pair of lifelike breasts on my chest with adhesive. When I looked in the mirror, I did not see any seams, and also, that they looked perfect on me. "They're a full A dear. You don't need the waist nipper unless you want to nip in your waist." As uncomfortable as that waist nipper was after a while, I opted to leave it off. As I put my bra on, both mom and the woman laughed at me. "Do it this way Kim." Mom showed me how to fasten it in front, spin it around, and slip it up and over my boobs. The weight of the breastforms was so new to me and I also wasn't used to having my bra straps not slide off! "Now that we have that out of the way, we can begin looking for clothes."

Now that my parents had spent several hundred dollars just on boobs, my destiny was sealed. They were never cheap about things, but they also did not spend money just for the heck of it. I have to admit that having breasts that moved when I did, were warm to the touch, and allowed a bit of cleavage, wasn't bad at all! I seemed to gain a lot of confidence all of a sudden, and felt it growing inside of myself with every step. "Since you can obviously wear a lot of Beth's clothes, we need to concentrate on lingerie first." "What's so hard about buying panties?" "It's more than just panties dear." I had a lot to learn I guess. In a department store we picked up a dozen panties in assorted colors, all cotton, which mom insisted on. Then two short slips, a long slip, three bras, another waist nipper and a corselet. A bathrobe, three nightgowns, two of them flannel, and slippers, which was just to start.

In a shoe store, white, navy and red heels, flats in brown, white and navy, and gym shoes with pink laces were added to the pile. I took what we had to the car and returned, then we went in a costume jewelry shop, had my ears pierced, and bought about a dozen pairs of earrings, two rings, a few bracelets, a half dozen necklaces, and hair clips. During lunch, she told me that we also had to get some of the uniforms for the school. In a shop that catered to private schools, I tried on a uniform. "The navy jacket is required of course, but the girls can wear red, navy, or white skirts. A white blouse of course, with a red tie." The woman suggested two jackets, and a skirt in each color, just to start with, so that's what we bought. On the way out of the store, mom asked me if I wanted to get my hair and nails done. "I've never been in a salon except with you mom! "Now is the time Kim. Since you will have to learn how to do your own hair, you can have it cut and styled in a manner easy to take care of. Maybe a soft perm as well. You might as well do it now rather than later." We were now beyond over the top. We were in the land of 'What the hell'!

Now, as I sat in that chair, my hair still damp, the stylist selected a style she thought would look nice on me. I agreed, and she began cutting. It seemed as if she took a lot off, but as she began to put the rollers in I saw that she hadn't taken as much as I thought. Then came a terrible smelling concoction. "This is the setting agent for the perm. I'll do the tint later." What did I know? I just nodded my head yes, and she kept on working on me. Then, while I was under the dryer, the manicurist came over and removed the stick on nails, tsked a few times, and started filing; clipping, sanding, then layering. By the time I finally got out of there I had auburn tinted brown hair! I had acrylic nails that were a bit longer than my fingers painted a plum color, my eyebrows had been also thinned out, and when I first saw myself in the mirror, I knew that this transformation of mine was going to work, better than I thought.

"Now all we need to do is get your makeup done and go home Kim." That took an hour, but it was worth it. If I thought the hair had done it, the makeup had changed my entire look! Now I actually looked pretty! "Can we look some more mother? Most of Beth's dresses don't fit very well." She nodded her head yes, so we went into the nearby department store. We ended up buying four dresses. Two short like the one I had on, one red, the other green. A black sheath, which was kind of dressy, and one a shirtwaist that was white with a floral print. "I think we have done enough damage to your father credit card for one day Kim, lets go home."

We dragged everything to my room, sitting it all on the bed. "I doubt if Beth will be coming back Kim, why not just move into her bedroom?" "Okay mom. I'll take her stuff and move it in here, but keep what I can use." She gave her okay, so I changed into jeans and a tee with my gym shoes and began to move things. I changed into a skirt and blouse for dinner, stepping into the kitchen just as dad walked in. He froze in place, his eyes wide as he looked at me. "Hi dad." He said nothing as he hung up his jacket, but his eyes did not leave me. Finally, he said, "your hair and…" "Like it? I think it's perfect!" Mom shot me a nasty look, meant to make me stop teasing dad. "You look…" "She is beautiful Howard and you know it. Now stop sputtering and eat your dinner."

After dinner I went back to moving clothes and so on. By the time I went to bed I had almost finished. I had two big bags of things I couldn't use and didn't think Beth would miss. I also had filled a trash bag with things that were simply that, trash. In the morning I vacuumed the room, clean out the vanity and wiped it down, remade the bed and put my new clothes in with what I kept. I set up the vanity to suit myself, then went down for lunch. "You'll have to have some kind of identification, so why don't you change and we'll get you a drivers license." I stared at her, and she added, "I'll be there to swear that you are my daughter Kimberly Ann Grant, so you should be okay." What the hell I thought, and changed into a skirt and blouse, touched up my makeup, then mom took me over to the office. The woman gave me the test, I filled out the paperwork, leaving unchecked the box for sex. I had my picture taken, mom signed the form, and I was done! I now had a valid drivers license that said my name was Kimberly!

Mom let me drive home, but I stopped and bought a new wallet on the way. At home I moved everything to my new wallet and slipped it into my purse. I helped make dinner that night. Dad was still giving me those looks, but not as long or as hard. So far it had been fun; I had been able to experience what it's like to be a girl for more than a few hours. Mom brought that to a crashing end when she told me I had to find a job. "You are not going to sit around all summer Kimberly. You find a job, starting in the morning!" Once again, no choice, no options.

I found a job in a small office as a file clerk. Mom would drive me to work, dad would bring me home. After the first week I started to understand why women liked pants rather than skirts. It was a lot more comfortable, but I stayed in skirts because mom said I had to get used to them. By the third week dad suggested that I get a car of my own, so he and I started looking. My male brain wanted a big, fast, hot car. Dad however, said no. "All a girl needs is transportation." I argued a bit, then settled on the small car. I got one in red with a tan interior. That weekend I asked if I could drive up and see Beth. "She'll like that Kim." Dad added, "Just be careful on the drive up." "I will." I asked them not to call Beth. I wanted it to be a surprise.

On Saturday morning I packed a small bag, then carefully did my makeup. I wore the short green dress for the drive. After almost a month of dressing as a girl, I had lost any fear that I had. I knew that I had crossed the barrier from male to female, at least in my mind. After that it was all downhill. I parked in front of her apartment, then walked up and rang the bell. Beth was eating lunch, a sandwich in her hand as she opened the door. At first she did not recognize me, then, all at once she let out a whoop. "Kim! Get your ass in here and let me look at you!" I gave her a hug and stood back as she took in my beauty. "Mom said you look spectacular, but you're gorgeous!" I put my stuff in her spare room, then joined her for lunch.

I told her everything that had happened, about my boobs, the new job and the car. "I moved into your room Beth. Mom said you probably weren't coming back, so…" "That's okay. She's right. Bob and I plan to stay here for a while." We talked some more, I gave her a drive in my new car, then back at her place, she asked me about Carson's. "Going there as a female is going to be the hardest thing yet Kim. That place has a reputation for turning out women that are ladies to the core. I hear that more of their graduates have husbands in high positions or run companies themselves than any other school like it in the country. I never expected mom and dad to put you in there, honest!" "The school already knows about me Beth, mom told them." "She did what?" "She told them I was a male, then the reason why she wanted me to go there. She said that all they did was send for my records! I was accepted!" "This is going to be an interesting school year for you Kim, very interesting!

Two weeks from the start of school, mom and were invited to attend a ladies only indoctrination to the school. I wore my pink jacket with a gray pleated skirt, mom, her blue suit. I drove to the school, then we were ushered into a small room and met Beverly White, the school administrator. "So! This is Kimberly! Nice to meet you both." She fixed her eyes on me and smiled, so why did I feel so uneasy? "Just how long have you been dressing as a girl? Full time that is." "About two months." "Tell me about yourself Kim." "I have a full time job as a file clerk, I'm 16, I have a drivers license that has Kimberly on it, I have one sister, Beth." "For someone who has only been doing this for two months, you do it very well Kimberly." She turned to mom, and asked her if she and dad were committed to my going to that particular school. "It is a good school, and we thought that since Kim would have to be around for almost a year, that an all girls school would be easier on her rather than her old school. We talked about it, and Kim agreed. Because of those factors, I have to say yes to your question." She sat back in her chair and looked at me again, that laser like eye of hers pinning me to the seat.

"We have three other girls like you here at the school, and no, I will not tell you who they are. We have very strict standards here Kim, and we expect, no, demand, and get, nothing but the best from our girls. You have been accepted, but it is up to me to make the final decision. Since we have a regimen that encompasses the entire body, as well as the mind, there are a few…alterations that will be required before you can attend here." She looked directly at mom, not me. " You said this was for only one year, but of course she will never go back to being a male, and after a year with us that is a certainty. We do not use halfway measures here. We turn our girls into well educated women that are capable of many things, from being diplomats to running companies, and I expect that Kimberly will do just fine here. However, we also emphasize the body as well as the mind, and that means physical competition. Staying fit is one aspect of our training that enhances everything else we do here, and in that light, we cannot risk her having an erection if she were to see another girl naked. We also cannot have her naked around the other girls." Her gaze shifted to me. "You will need to have your own breasts, and a minor surgical procedure to make you look more like a girl, even naked." I looked, and mom was smiling!

"Mom?" "What she is saying dear is that they will arrange for you to have implants or something similar, and that your penis will be moved or something to make you look like a female." "It is entirely up to you dear." Ms. White was smiling again. "We will not do anything that cannot be reversed at a later date, and both of your parents and yourself must agree in writing to the procedures." "Real boobs? Not the stick on kind like I have now?" "The real thing Kim." "She will still be able to return to being a male at a later date?" "Of course Mrs. Grant! We are not in the business of mutilation! We take the children and turn them into worthwhile citizens that are filled with pride in their own self worth." Mom looked at me, a question on her face. "Kim"? "Can I live at home?" "Of course. Most of the girls do." "Dad"? I asked, and mom nodded her head yes. "If I say yes, when does this all happen?" "You will be sent to a clinic we use. They usually take about four or five hours with a day to rest up afterwards. You will be fully healed up by the time school starts." "Can I work at my job?" "Most girls find they cannot hold a job and get the work done, so I will say no." I looked at mom, got no comfort from her, then at Ms. White. No comfort there either. "Mom"? "We are not going to influence you in any way Kim. This is the one decision you must make on your own." She paused, then said, "But we will support you, no matter what you decide." I thought about how I felt about myself over the last few months, all of the new sensations, the clothes, hair and being able to wear makeup, smiled, and said "yes".

Two days later I returned home, sore, with about ten stitches in me. As yet, I had not seen myself naked. The bandages would come off tomorrow, and I would see the doctors work for the first time. But I now had two breasts of my own! They swelled against the sheet, making the twin mounds I had faked for two months. The other, well, I don't know yet. Dad came to my room the first night I was home and sat on the edge of the bed, just looking at me. "This is what you want?" "Yes dad. How can I say anything else? You've seen me every day for two months now. Did I look like a boy in a dress? Or a clown? No dad. I looked like a girl. Your girl." He sat there, tears forming in his eyes. "I never expected you to like it. Never. When Beth told us about … I was shocked of course, but your mother trusts Beth, so when she said you looked wonderful, she and I decided to ask you to show us. Now…" "Dad, I can go back to being a male at any time. That's what the doctor said!" "But Ms. White told us that not once has anyone ever gone back to being a male. All of them go on to become women. They get married and so on, just like any other women. I don't see you as the first one Kim. Like the others, you will become a woman." He suddenly stood up and went to the door.

"Dad!" His eyes found mine and when his softened a bit, I motioned for him to sit down again. As soon as he sat I hugged him as hard as my tender body would let me. "Dad, do you think that what I wear changes the person I am? He said nothing so I said it. "No, of course not. Just because I have boobs now doesn't mean I like different things. I just look different and wear different clothing, that's all!" He hugged me, then left the room. I was left wondering if dad had been the one stranded in that sea of doubt instead of me.

The swelling in my face had gone down, mom had removed the bandages, and for the first time I saw myself. I knew it was good by the way mom sucked in her breath when she took the bandages away. I stood there, with mom watching, as my hand went to my groin. My finger found the shallow slit that defined my vagina, then my hands went to my breasts. Still an A, they stood out pert and firm, full and rounded, no sign of a stitch anywhere. My hips were now round, as full as my waist was narrow. From the front I had the classic female shape. From the side, that of a young girl. My face was smooth to the touch as was the rest of me. Hairless like a girl, only my now long hair and eyebrows remained. "There are some feminine hygiene issue we have to talk about Kimberly."

Then I got the talk from mom that was the most embarrassing thing I could possibly think of. "Like all females, you are now susceptible to these infections Kimberly. Do as I say, and it will be fine, and remember, feminine hygiene is very important. Its not like it was before, just soap up, use your hand, and everything is clean. We have to be a lot more meticulous about our bodies than men do." I got dressed in panties, shorts with a soft sports bra and a tee, then mom and I had lunch. "Dad hates me mom. He didn't say it, but I saw it in his eyes last night." I felt my emotions rising, tears forming in my eyes. "That's not true Kimberly! He just doesn't understand why you, a male, would agree so easily too becoming a female. He has no line of reference to go by. No guide post to say that this is right or that is wrong. Your father knows that boys and girls go together, yet, you are a boy that looks like a girl, which means that sooner or later boys will become part of your life. Are you a boy that likes boys? Or are you a girl that likes boys? He is confused and worries about you a lot. In many ways, it's just like when Beth started dating. He's getting protective."

Mom raised an excellent question, one that had not even crossed my mind. Up to now, boys had not figured into anything I did. It was all focused on myself. How did I like being a girl. Could I even do it? Did I want to do it? Then came that little operation that removed any doubt from my mind. I liked it, I could, and did, want to be a girl, and for all practical purposes, I was. The specter of boys and how they would react around me had not occurred to me, until just now. In the excitement of the changes I had wanted for so long I had ignored the rest. Boys. The thought of kissing one, dating one, was not new to my dreams, only in my reality. If a boy asked me out I would probably go rather than become an old maid. As for anything else, we would all have to wait and see.

Having lost the luxury of standing, I had to sit for all functions now. Before, at night, I had the option and could stand. Now I understood why women sometimes envied men. Sitting all of the time was turning out to be a pain in the ass. Undress, do whatever, get dressed again. Every time. Tedious, yet so much a part of the life of a female that I accepted the fact of it. But the envy stayed behind, a small reminder of what I gave up, or maybe gained.

On the first day of school I wore a navy skirt, white blouse, red jacket and black flats. Ushered into a small auditorium, we met the staff. One of them, Mrs. Kensington, started calling off names, mine among them. "You will report to the gym in ten minutes. Do not be late." She had a husky voice, which matched her size. Tall, maybe six foot, she had an outstanding figure. Trim, with boobs that looked a bit large on her, she had a narrow waist and nice hips. With the other girls, I went into the gym and sat on the bleachers, waiting for her to arrive.

Mrs. Kensington had changed into an aerobics outfit, which outlined her shape even more. Her hair was in a ponytail, drawn so tight her face seemed pinched. "We have a weight slash height scale that we require all of you to match. In some cases, that is not possible and we do make allowances for that. But you must be within four pounds no matter what. Today we will take weight and height from each of you, and a target supplied." Then, one after another, we were all weighed and so on. I weighed 131 on a 5'7" frame. My target was 117 pounds! The last time I weighed 117, I was 12! We were released to our other classes, but told that we would be contacted individually. I could hardly wait.

My turn with Mrs. Kensington came two days later. I sat across from her, my hands in my lap. "According to your records, you are one of our special students. Males have a different bone structure than females, and not many can make the targets we set for them. In your case, I have adjusted your target to 122 pounds to compensate for that difference. I would like you to try to make 117 if you can, but no penalty will result if you cannot. Any questions?" Her voice was so husky that it popped out before my brain and common sense kicked in. "Were you a special student like me?" Her laughter filled the room, then, all at once she grew quiet. "No Kim. I am a female by birth. But I want you to know that I understand exactly what you are going through. My brother became a girl, attending here some time ago. Janet had an instructor that did not understand the difference between our special students and natural born females. She was relentless and drove all of the girls hard…to hard in some cases. She retired about five years ago." She sat back in her chair, a Cheshire cat grin on her face.

"Do not misunderstand Kimberly. Before long you will think I am just as bad as my predecessor. You must try hard to make your goal. The women we graduate represent us all over the world, and nothing less than perfection is allowed, even for you." I was dismissed with a list of things I needed, and went back to class. I was walking back when my mind went back to how this all started. My sister wanted me to be her Maid of Honor at her wedding.

Now I was stuck with a woman that most of the girls said is a cross between the devil , a nanny, and Atilla the Hun in drag, and my worst nightmare. She sounded okay, but…

That night mom and I bought the outfit I was supposed to wear. Each day I grew more comfortable in my role as a female, and found out just how catty girls can be. They were not at all sugar and spice as the rhyme says. More like sugar and lime with a hammer thrown in. My first day with Mrs. Kensington was an entire hour of aerobic and jogging. Before and after class we all weighed in, any changes noted before we were released to the showers. Now that was a real experience! 26 naked girls all in one place, myself one of them. Sure, I looked, but quickly realized that they were looking at me as well. I was one of them now; the looks just a matter of measuring oneself to the others. Any other thought I dismissed.

Three weeks after school had started I had my first fitting for my gown. Up to now, Beth had only heard reports from mom. She had not seen me yet. Mom, Beth, the fitter, and I were in the room when I stripped to my panties so the corset could be fitted. I heard Beth take in a breath when she saw me, and I smiled to myself. I caught her looking at my panties, seeing not a tuck job, but the real thing, clearly outlined in my thin nylon panties. After I was fitted, it was her turn and I had the pleasure of seeing my sister naked for the first time since I was six. Beth has a wonderful figure. 36C-23-36, there was no doubt in my mind that her husband to be was a boob man. Her gown is exquisite. White satin and Irish lace, it has a sheer top and sleeves. She has to wear three petticoats with it to make it hang right. A special corset hikes her boobs up, separates them, and makes them swell against the thin material. It made me wish that mine would do that. On the way home Beth got a run down on what had happened to me. "You mean that you don't have a…you take showers with the other girls!?" I nodded my head, smiling at her. "Damn" was her only response.

By Christmas I had made the 117 pound mark. I now had a 36A+-23-35 figure. My hair has grown quite long and I let it hang across my shoulders. Dad had begun to call me 'kitten', a sign the he had given up I guess. It was also the time that my doctor asked me if this was the life for me, or would I go back to being a male. I didn't see how I could even consider it now. Going back I mean. No. I was a girl now in every way but one. With mom's permission, he started me on hormones so I could get rid of the implants. It was also the time I had my first date.

Carson's had a setup with an all male school. Twice a year they held joint dances. Christmas and in the spring. Fortunately neither school assigned boys and girls together. It was more like a free for all. I wore a blue sheath dress with silver shoes and jewelry. As I walked into the hall I know I was nervous. My rare interactions with boys gave me no guideline to follow. Most of the other girls had dated, had brothers, and so on. They knew what to do. I was with several other girls, just listening to the music. Only a very few couples were dancing, most of the boys on one side, the girls on the other. It was a prime example of a meat market in action. I saw him coming, we all did. The question was, who was he going to pick?

He walked like he owned the place. Tall, he had short brown hair; his uniform perfectly pressed and the buttons shiny, glinting in the light. I watched him as he walked across the room, unaware that my heart was beating faster the closer he got. Without hesitation, he stepped in front of me and held out his hand. "Good evening. I am Senior Cadet Michael Wilson. May I have this dance?" I nodded my head yes, and let him lead me out on the floor. He did not hold me close, yet I was intoxicated by him. Every male part of me that still remained quickly left as my feminine side took over. I told him my name, and after the music had stopped he and I went to the buffet table for punch. Stilted, yet attracted, we both knew the limitations and kept a polite distance. Later, he asked, and I gave him my phone number at home. "Can I call on you on Sunday Kim?" "I'd like that." For two very long days I had to wait.

Michael rang the bell, dad answering it before I could get there. But he was polite and did not give any sign that he was upset that I now had a boy calling on me. It was the opening shot in the mating ritual all teenagers go through. I took his hand, going into the familyroom where I had set out colas and chips. Mom and dad wisely stayed away. Mike was smiling and polite while I was nervous and perky. His eyes never left mine as we sat on the couch. Suddenly, with no warning at all, he leaned over and kissed me gently on the lips. I felt the fire of instant excitement run through me, then, while he was so close, kissed him back. "You're very pretty Kim. I'm glad you let me come over today." His hand was on mine, steady and firm, while I felt like a quivering bowl of Jello inside. I had never felt this way before, not once.

He stayed for a few hours, then left, but not before asking me to the show the following Friday. Dad was standing close enough to hear me say yes, and certainly close enough to see him kiss me before he left. "He seems very nice Kim." "Yah. I like him a lot!" I bounced up the stairs to my room without giving him a chance to say anything else. Now I finally felt like a girl. Michael was the first boy to be attracted to me, and I was on air. No longer a boy in a dress, I felt like I had completed my journey. Sure I had the body, but inside, where doubt resides, I was now a girl in every way, and I was going to use it all!

Over the next few months Mike and I went out each weekend, except for when my implants were taken out. I now had my own breasts. Mine. Not a bag of silicone or saline. On our third date I let Mike touch me there; just his touch on my breast sent ripples of ecstasy through me. He wanted me to touch him but I refused. Not that I didn't want to, I was afraid of what would happen after that. But like a good military man, he kept trying. I asked him to be my escort to Beth's wedding, and wear his uniform for me, and he said he would. The wedding was a week after I turned 17, a week before Mike turned 17.

My dress is a very light mint green, full skirted with a sweetheart neckline and lace sleeves. Beth was radiant. She simply seemed to glow as she walked down the aisle. At the reception, Mike stayed with me the whole time, resplendent in his uniform. He had been promoted to Senior Captain of Cadets, the highest rank in his school. Even in heels I was a good four inches shorter than he was, but I was just as tall in my pride at having him as my escort. After Beth and her husband had left, Mike took me home so I could change. I had planned this day carefully, and quickly changed.

Thin, black nylon panties, a black lowcut lace trimmed bra, pantyhose, and a short black dress with a lowcut square neckline. When I reappeared in front of him I saw that his pants had become fuller. Was it me? I certainly hoped so! We drove to a secluded park near the lake, and as he pulled me to him I put my hand right on him. His moan told me I was right. It was me. After that, well, we stayed there for a long time. I did what many girls do for their men. It was different, yet felt so normal that I do not think it was wrong, even now. When he took me home, mom's built in radar must have sensed something, because she came to my room, closing the door to make sure we were alone. "Kimberly Anne Grant!" Sweetly, I said "yes"? Mom sat on the bed and looked at me, with first a frown, then a smile crept to her face. "You and Michael, you did something for him today!" Shocked that she knew, it was all I could do to stay try and look innocent. "Honey, it's all over your face! You glow like a woman in love, and women in love do things!" She sighed and smiled again. "What's done is done, but you are supposed to be a lady! I understand, really I do. He's handsome, you're pretty, and you make a nice couple. But no more of that Kimberly." I said nothing as she left the room.

Of course, I went to the spring dance with Mike. I graduated that summer as did Mike. He went to West Point while I was accepted to a prestigious university. The day after I turned 18 I was in the hospital to correct my anatomy. Mike and I stayed in touch, but I met someone else, and he and are dating now. Where it will lead is anyone's guess. When I look back on this journey of mine, I can't think of a thing I would change, except one. I would have told dad the truth a long time before this all happened. He still might not have understood, but we could have talked about it. Now, calls me kitten, watches over me like a hawk, and still loves me. Just like a dad is supposed to do.

(the end)

 

 

© 1999
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