End of School

by Shelley

 

Sitting outside the Head teacher's office should never be a pleasure, but if you are sitting beside the girl that featured in every boy-girl dream you'd ever had, you might start to think so... Kate was lovely, truly beautiful and popular. She would be voted the girl most likely to save the world from hunger or at least missing lunch.

She was a class ahead of me but I knew her to see around the school and had my day brightened just by passing her in the corridor.

Yesterday was the first day that she had ever spoken to me. I was ahead of her in line to get a soda, I accidentally stepped back on her toe and before I could stop myself, I had apologised in a panic and using her name. She had looked at me coyly, asking how I knew her name. I couldn't answer, just blushed and dropped my eyes. She just told me I should be lighter on my feet. The others around were laughing, but Kate was just smiling kindly. I grabbed my soda and ran.

I likes to watch Kate, she wasn't like the other girls, she just seemed to get on with life and school with a style that no other person I had ever met seemed able to manage… cool, poised and with a mix of kindness, strength, femininity and gentleness that left me feeling good, just to see her.

Today she had called to my classroom to tell my teacher that I was to go to the head's office. We sat there now waiting. Every now and again she would speak to me and little by little I was starting to relax enough to be able to respond. I am painfully shy, considered a geek by all in the school, in fact The Geek.

I am the epitome of everything that is un-cool and have never been seen to do anything to change that view. I'm not sure why that is, I don't see myself like that, I have done lots of interesting things, been to many places and somehow make new friends that stay in contact even after many years. But in my hometown and at school, I am that geeky guy that nobody who fits in would be seen dead with. The only time any girl in my class or the school even acknowledged my presence, was in ridicule. All this does not help make conversation with the most beautiful girl you have ever known.

But still, here we were and she was talking with me. Sometimes a question about what I am interested in but mostly she was teasing me, telling that I must have done something terrible to be called out of class. She wasn't being unkind but I blushed so much that my ears were surely smouldering.

Eventually, a teacher passed us. She had almost reached the end of the corridor before turning back. She seemed confused as she approached us. I knew she was Kate's English teacher.

"Why are you here?" I tried to stumble out an answer but Kate had answered for me. "I told him the head wanted to see him"

"I see, well you can tell him that the head won't be seeing anyone else today and you Kate, I'll see you in my class tomorrow."

Kate was very slightly blushing, I didn't understand why, but I felt better, that's maybe mean, but it meant she was not absolutely perfect.

I was able to talk to her more easily as we walked back towards my classroom, but I didn't ask about why the Head would no longer want to see me, or how her English teacher would know that.

When we got there, I was about to turn and say something, not sure what exactly; thank you, nice talking with you…. But I never got that far, because Kate had placed her hand on my arm and was getting closer.

When I eventually opened my eyes, she was moving down the corridor. I thought she would look back but no, she turned the corner and disappeared without a backward glance.

The look on my face when I went to class attracted attention, my visit to the head must have been terrible, I was in shock. When I said I didn't get to see the Head, my teacher said she wasn't too surprised since the head was at a meeting in the city. But she said nothing more, I imagined I would be the subject of staffroom gossip later on but had no understanding of what had happened.

There were two more classes that Thursday and I headed home. I was disappointed not to meet Kate, I dreamed of her being outside waiting for me. To overcome my disappointment as I got to my bus stop, I tried to relive the moment outside the classroom.

I hadn't moved, just let my head go back slightly 'til it touched the wall and became absorbed into her perfume and softness. Kate's long hair fell across my face and I could feel the smoothness and softness as it was trapped between her cheek and mine.

Kate's hand had moved down my arm to rest on my hip, her other hand had started at my side and tugged at my shirt, my whole body was trembling.

"Something nice was it" a voice called to me.

"Hmmm" I came out of my daydream in a shock to find Kate in beside me.

"You look cute when you blush"

"You too" I said, and felt the colour deepen in my cheeks. I was nervous, but she just laughed and her blue eyes were shining.

"You noticed, eh?" I was back to being nervous now.

"Are you going my way?" She was smiling, waiting for my response.

I hesitated and then worried that the offer might be withdrawn so I stammered out quickly that I was.

We didn't talk much as we walked. I knew where she lived, but not exactly which house. It would take about 20 minutes and I wanted to remember each second as it passed.

I guessed at first that it was an accident that sometimes Kate's hand touched mine until once we had to pass around two old ladies talking and Kate insisted that I go first. As she moved beside me again, it could not have been an accident that her hand touched my bottom, it was very discrete but definitely deliberate, the ladies had not seen it, but I certainly had felt it.

I'd never had a girlfriend, but I imagined that this is what a boy would do to a girl, not as it was now, this beautiful girl was making a pass at me the same way a dozen boys had probably done to her.

It didn't make sense that she would do this just because boys did it, but I wasn't arguing, it was thrilling, and I found myself moving closer. Not so I could brush my hand against hers, but so she could brush her hand against me if she wanted.

"Do you like that?"

"What"

"When I touch my hand against yours?"

"Yes" I was choked up.

"Did you like it when I touched your bottom?"

"Yes…"

"Did you like being kissed?"

I couldn't answer, so I just stopped, so Kate had to take a step back to me, she sigh loudly and moved towards me, the same way she had at the school. She held me gently, I thought to move my hands to touch her, but her hand stopped me, so I kept my hands by my sides as she kissed me and held me gently.

She kissed me, I responded, but it was Kate kissing me. She was slightly taller, but that was not really why my head was tilted back as she kissed me. I was being kissed and my body was responding with gentle quivering and I was in heaven.

"I knew it would be nice to kiss you" Kate said

"Me too"

"You thought of me kissing you?"

My brain crashed again, no answer would help so I tried to smile. She laughed and said she knew what teenage boys were like.

I blushed deeply again and tried to deny being like other teenage boys and said being kissed by her had been far better than I could have imagined.

"I'm glad I didn't disappoint you"

We walked on and got to her house. I hesitated at the gate and expected Kate to just say goodbye before I continued home, I could get another bus just a few minutes from here.

"Come in, I'd like you to meet my mother" She was already walking ahead of me, so I followed.

Inside, Kate took my bag and hung it in the hallway and dropped hers inside a small room with a desk that had probably been her fathers study.

"Mom, this is Sam, from school, do you remember him? His mom teaches ballroom dancing, we saw him dancing in the city a few years ago."

I was now really embarrassed, Kate knew me and had seen me dancing, my worst nightmare and I understood now that the remark about my being lighter on my feet was not accidental.

"Kate, stop that. I'm sorry Sam, she can be mean sometimes, but I do remember you, you were very good, and you should have won. We were there to watch Kate's cousin and Kate pointed you out. She thought you were wonderful too."

"Nice to meet you" I said and offered my hand, but she smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"Nice to meet you too Sam, call me Bev, please. Now come on, I made some snacks in the kitchen".

The three of us sat in the kitchen and it occurred to me that the table was set for a visitor but gradually I relaxed as the conversation moved around me, sometimes including me, but mostly it was Kate and her Mom sharing their day. I enjoyed that, Kate talked about our school in a way that I could not recognise, she went to a school where the sun was shining, my school had a lot of rain.

Her Mom worked in a department store and shared the stories of the day, it seemed she only worked with nice people and even the shoplifter that day had been polite when he was waiting for the police to arrive.

I was feeling good. My home life was very normal, my Mom is a nice lady, kind and patient, but she works hard at her dance school. So to be here, talking, listening and…. I don't really know how to say this, but I felt very much at home in this kitchen, there was life here that I didn't feel to the same extent in my own home, maybe this happens only with girls. I know that a lot of it was my fault, I disappear to my room all the time and maybe because of that, my Mom spends a lot of time 'doing things' and being involved.

When Kate asked me did I want to listen to some music, it took me a moment to hear her…..

"He does that….drifts off into his own world….." She was smiling saying it and her Mom was smiling as she scolded her.

"Go on you two; I have laundry and ironing to do."

Kate's bedroom was perfect, a beautiful girl's room smelling of perfumes and feminine softness. I was amazed that I was here….with Kate.

When the music started, I stared. I was speechless… violins scratching with a heavy back beat. I was hoping she wouldn't ask me if I liked it.

"This is my favourite music, I listen to it all the time, reminds me of long hot summer days"

"On medication" I looked up in horror and realised I had said that out loud, speaking my thoughts was a dangerous habit.

But Kate collapsed onto her bed laughing and let the music continue chaotically around us.

Eventually she was able to stand up and change the music.

"It is Czech gypsy music, another minute and my mother would be screaming for me to shut it off, I don't think even the gypsies like it."

With Robbie Williams in the background, Kate took my hand. Since she knew I could dance, I tried to lead her to a turn, but she stopped me and laughing led me to make the same turn. After the girls turn, I was facing her again, I knew she would kiss me and I was ready to overcome my shyness, determined.

Kate did kiss me, quickly, on the lips and stood back.

"Relax, let me kiss you."

I didn't move and she kissed me, I wasn't sure what I was or was not supposed to do, so after a moment I moved my hand towards her breast, I thought that was what boys did. My hand never got there; Kate manoeuvred my hand to be at her back so I gently moved it against her spine.

But Kate's hand was at my chest now, gently squeezing my nipples. Her other hand was behind my head as she kissed my deeply. Her right knee was moving gently against my thigh. When I tried to respond, she deftly redirected me until I decided I should not pretend I knew what to do and just try relaxing and enjoying the moment.

The inevitable happened. I knew I was getting excited but to ….

I was feeling devastated inside, but trying hard for Kate not to notice. I was embarrassed and ashamed; I knew she would be furious and tell me to leave. The next few minutes were an awful mix of pleasure and shame, pleasure and fear that Kate would hate me.

"That was nice; I don't think I ever enjoyed kissing anyone so much."

I stumbled out a thank you, pretending that I was overcome with excitement rather than fearful of what would happen next,

"I need to use the toilet, you can use mine, it's through that door there, I'll use my mothers"

She kissed me gently and left the room.

I almost ran into her bathroom and pulled my trousers off.

What could I do, my pants were a mess.

I took my underpants off and looked around, hoping to see a plastic bag that I could use. There was none, I looked out the window to see if I could throw them out the window and retrieve them before I left, but no way, Kate's rooms faced the back.

The door opened a little and Kate's hand appeared, holding a pair of her panties.

"I thought you might need these, and you can wash your own in the sink if you want, they might even dry on the towel rail."

My humiliation was complete.

I took the panties and the door closed.

She knew, I couldn't speak, what could I say, no act of bravado was going to carry me through. So I washed myself and put on Kate's panties. They were light blue with a tiny pink ribbon at the front. If not for the ribbon, I would not have known which was the front or back, they seemed very insubstantial. They went high on my hips and were actually very comfortable.

I put my trousers on, and went out….

"I thought you were going to stay in there forever"

After I said "I wanted to" Kate hugged me and kissed me again.

"Why? It was great, I loved kissing you and…. I love knowing you are wearing my panties"

"Really?"

"Of course, turn around"

"You can just about see the outline, they look lovely on you, you can keep them if you will wear them to school tomorrow"

I was immersed in her completely and was definitely in love and when her soft lips caressed my face, I immediately reacted.

"Would you wear my panties to school if I asked you?"

Kate was whispering this in my ear. I could only breathe my reply "Yes"

We kissed a little longer and I was very feeling happier than I had at any time in my life. My first girlfriend was the most beautiful woman in my world and perfect in every way.

Kate kissed me slower and smiled at me. Her hand was still on my ass. Fingering the line of MY panties.

We sat on her bed and talked for a little, somehow it was easy…we just chatted.

After a while Kate stood up and walked to her wardrobe. She sorted through some things and came back with blue dress and shoes. She just put them on the bed and I guessed maybe it was time for me to go, she must be getting ready to go out. I stood up.

Kate didn't say anything but started to undo the buttons on her shirt to reveal her bra, her blouse still inside her skirt. It was white with a delicate lace trim, I knew her panties would match and hoped someday to find out. Her breasts were slightly pink above the line of her bra and it was exciting me more to see the swell of her breathing.

I was mesmerised and hardly noticed her undo the buttons on my shirt, sleeves as well.

My shirt was now on the back of a chair and Kate was turning back to me. The dress was now sliding over my head. I could have moved, said no, asked something, said something but I didn't.

The dress came to just above my knee and must have looked strange over my school trousers. Kate had that beautiful smile.

"Would you like me to take off your trousers?"

"No, its okay, I'll do it"

I lifted the dress, just enough to get at my belt and undo the zip, my trousers dropped to my ankles.

I sat on the bed but before I could do anything, Kate as kneeling to take off my shoes, socks and take away my trousers.

With that done, she reached for the shoes and put them on me. They matched the dress perfectly.

"Its great that you have small feet, stand up and let me see you"

"I knew you would look great in that, it doesn't need boobs to show off your figure" I was embarrassed. It seemed that since I met Kate, my face was permanently red.

"I like that have just a little hair on your legs, your armpits are a bit fuzzy though"

I jumped in shock when there came a voice from the doorway "That looks very nice on you Sam" It was Kate's mother, smiling at me from the open doorway.

Surely she should have been at least surprised, a boy she has never met before is in her daughters room, wearing dress.

"He looks lovely, but he blushes so easily"

I didn't join in, I didn't know what to say. So I just stood there in the dress and tried to relax a little, get my colour back to normal.

Bev left us alone.

"Kate, do you like me dressed like this?"

"Yes Sam, I love it."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but since yesterday I have thought of nothing else but how you would look. I always wanted to have a boyfriend who would wear a dress"

She called me her boyfriend.

"Kate, did you arrange today, I mean calling me out of class?"

"Yes, I did"

"What about your mother, I don't want your mum thinking I dress like this all the time"

"Do you want me to talk with her?"

"Please, will you?"

Kate said she would and left me in her room wearing her blue dress and shoes. The shoes were the same I had seen the girls from my school wearing weekends at the Mall, they were high but amazingly comfortable, more comfortable than dancing shoes.

Kate returned, "Its okay now, I told her you agreed to wear the dress if I would have sex with you"

"Kate please, you couldn't say that to her, she'll kill me, please tell her that's not true"

"Isn't it? Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Because I like you and it's what you wanted"

"I do like you Sam, very much, and I love it that you are wearing that dress, you look lovely in it, much better than the way you dress as a boy. I know they call you a geek at school, you look much nicer now"

"Please Kate, tell your mom"

"Okay, I'll tell her that you just wanted to see what you would look like"

"No Kate, please, can't you tell her that it was your idea and that I just put it on so you could see if it was too short"

"Sam, she bought this dress for me, she knows it doesn't fit me now. My mom is okay, she will think it is okay that you wanted to try it and she won't tell anyone"

"Please Kate, tell her I don't dress like this all the time"

Kate agreed and again left me alone.

The wardrobe door was open and if I moved a little, I would be able to see my reflection in the mirror.

I looked okay. I recognised myself but, the dress did not look strange on me, I might have looked less odd than I do normally, and Kate was right, I certainly didn't look like a geek.

Bev chose that moment to walk in and see me admiring myself in the mirror. She was carrying a pile of clothes, the warm homely smell of ironed cotton reached my nose.

She placed the laundry on a chair and sat down on the bed, she indicated that I should sit beside her.

When I did, she placed her hand gently on my arm.

"Kate told me and its okay. I know you are a sweet boy and I am glad you are Kate's friend. She thinks you look lovely in a dress and I she's right, you really do look beautiful. You're welcome to come here anytime."

She stood up and collected the pile from the chair, I thought our chat was over and was about to thank her.

"I sorted these for you, they should fit nicely, there are a couple of other dresses in Kate's wardrobe that she doesn't use anymore and even a bridesmaids dress that you might want to wear for fun, not suitable for the mall, but you might enjoy wearing it."

I was speechless, Kate must have told her I wanted to wear the dress.

Kate's mom was smiling at me in a very kind and gentle way, it was nice to be treated this way and I didn't want to say anything that would hurt her. Other than my mom, I didn't get a lot of understanding, though in this case… less might have been better.

My silence must have been interpreted in some way because Bev was sitting beside me again, with a small plastic toolbox.

It just took just moments for her apply eye shadow, mascara, liner and a touch of lipstick.

"Just a touch, I don't like Kate to wear too much makeup, plenty of time for that when both of you don't look so young and pretty"

She tried several clip on earrings before finding a pair that were not too grown up and with a couple of clips in my hair, she stood up to inspect me.

She said I was pretty…I'm a boy in a dress being called pretty!!!!!. This was not my view of myself though this wasn't the first time I had worn a dress. As I grew up, my mother had used me as a model for dresses for her dance costumes, both boys and girls. At the beginning of each season, she would design the costumes to fit me so she could make alterations as she went along and get a better feel for how the design would look and keep the designs a secret until the first competition of the year. I was also the guinea pig for each years dance routines.

Bev walked me to the mirror, I suppose I did look a little pretty, but, mainly, I was shocked at how different I looked. I was not sure if I would recognise myself.

"Sam…..you look beautiful, even more beautiful than I could have imagined"

It would have seemed impolite to Bev not to say thank you, which was rewarded with a kiss and promises that it was her pleasure and she hoped I would get to enjoy wearing a dress more often.

"Why don't we go out?"

This of course was Kate, I hadn't stopped loving her, but she had developed an evil streak that was being directed at me and might just destroy my vision of her being an angel. The look of horror on my face was clear to Bev.

"I think you might enjoy it Sam, nobody would recognise you, I doubt if even your mom would. Actually, maybe we should invite her" Bev said this in a kind of organizational way, as if it was something that should happen, everyone wanted and it was only a matter of getting your coat on and going.

"No please, don't call my mom"

"I'll call her to tell her you are here with Kate and we'll drop you home after dinner"

Somehow, it seemed I had agreed to go out dressed as a girl.

I didn't know anyone in Kate's street, as far as I knew, but I was still shaking as I walked out the door. Kate was clearly enjoying herself. She whispered that she thought it would take weeks to get me outside.

What else did she have planned? I was afraid to ask, but I felt safer asking in front of her mom, maybe Bev would say no and this would be the last time and maybe Kate and I could have a regular boy/girl relationship, because despite my fears as I sat in the car, I still thought Kate was the most beautiful and attractive girl in my life.

As we walked to the car, it suddenly occurred to me that I was the only one wearing a dress. Kate had changed into jeans and Bev was wearing slacks.

"I'm very nervous, this is the first time I have ever done this"

Bev looked back at me "Really, your mom never takes you out to eat?"

We all laughed at that, but it started the conversation.

"Mom, do you think Sam should go to school wearing a skirt"

"Would you like that" Bev asked kindly

"No, but I think Kate would like me to, what else would you like Kate"

Kate was on the spot, but it wasn't disturbing her. Not that I wanted to, she was sitting beside me now, her left arm on my shoulder and holding my right with hers on her knee.

She was radiant and clearly happy with our date.

"Sam you are a beautiful girl…..Samantha….hmmm that sounds much better" she continued on and it seemed that she had lots of plans for me.

Bev was laughing "Don't worry Samantha, I won't let her bully you into anything"

Kate pretended to pout

Even though I was the subject of this, I still joined in the laughter.

It was an enjoyable meal, my favourite pizza, but I have never enjoyed it so much. Bev and Kate talked and laughed and I joined in as much as I could. Nobody paid us any attention.

I was a little worried about ordering and I told Bev I would have the same as her, hoping that she would order two, but no, she said nothing about me and I was pretending to be choosing for so long that the waitress offered to come back.

No reaction, when I ordered, she just wrote it down and left. It was better because I really didn't want the same as Bev, why go to a pizza restaurant and have salad?

I had a slice of 4 cheeses with a baked potato. Kate just had a slice of Portuguese. She ordered diet soda's for all of us. We girls had to watch our weight she said.

This apparently didn't apply to deserts, because we all had the same death by chocolate desert.

Bev seemed to be enjoying herself too, she was a nice person and she and Kate seemed to get on very well.

We walked by some of the stores near the restaurant before going to the car park. I couldn't really join in with the discussions about the clothes in the window, I didn't think I knew enough to have an opinion.

Looking in the windows, I could see myself, but it wasn't an image of me that I was used to. Whether I looked pretty or beautiful, I don't know, but I certainly didn't look like a boy. Kate was watching me too, and loving it. I guess to her this was more than being out with a girlfriend, she had arranged this and was happy with her work.

When we passed a formal evening wear boutique, I don't know what happened but I could hear myself saying it was gorgeous, looking at an off the shoulder long satin figure hugging dress in coral with some white detailing, split up to the hip on one side and a design in diamante across the diaphragm and dividing the bust.

Kate and Bev looked at me for a moment before breaking into laughter. The dress and my reaction to it were discussed in good humour and I didn't feel so bad. I guess I know more about dresses than I should, especially evening wear. I couldn't exactly say that the only dresses I had ever worn before today were similar though perhaps more elaborate and split on both sides to allow the dancer more movement.

As we moved away from the store, Bev stopped and looked back at me.

"Samantha, I just realised something"

"You walk very well in those shoes, in fact, you walk better than most girls"

I blushed, it was a compliment, so it seemed easier to take it as that rather than a question about how I could learn so fast.

It was true though, the first few seconds I had been unsure of the feeling of being a few centimetres from the ground, but they were easier than the 4 and 5 inch heels I wore to learn new steps with my mother.

It was still early, but tomorrow was a school day so we headed back to the car and headed home.

I was not paying attention to anything but Kate as Bev drove us home. Kate was talking, telling me how wonderful the evening was and whispered in my ear that she loved that I wore a dress for her. I was delighted to have her be so nice to me, I wished she would kiss me again, but I had to be content with the touch of her hand on my leg as she talked.

When Kate finally noticed the effect she was having on me, she had to struggle to contain herself enough to whisper that we would have to contain things a little.

The car pulled up outside the house, but it wasn't Kate's house, it was mine.

"I thought you were taking me back to your house, I need to change"

"Kate said you wanted to go straight home"

"I can't go home like this, I'm wearing a dress"

"Doesn't your mother know? Hasn't she seen you in a dress?"

There was no chance to answer because I could see our door open and my mother walk out, she must have seen the car pull up.

I thought of pleading with Bev to drive on, but I knew she wouldn't do it.

Bev got out of the car and went to greet my mother. I stayed in the car with Kate. Close to tears now, I couldn't look up.

"Everyone in school is mean to me, why not you as well"

"Sam, I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be so bad. I like you and I want us to be friends, more than friends" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was setting me up to be humiliated in front of my mother.

"Sam, I'm sorry, you look lovely and, well, you looked happy tonight"

"Kate, you are trying to control my life, you can't do that."

"Mom says the same thing, I guess I organize people too much, I'm sorry"

"Kate, do you like me because I am wearing a dress or did you want me to wear this dress because you like me?"

"Sam, I have been thinking of you since I saw you dancing and wanted to meet you, but you never looked at me in school, you never even saw me."

"Of course I saw you, every day, I don't like being in the sports hall, but I knew you would be there. I went there to be humiliated every day, just to see you."

Kate cut the difference between them and hugged me close to her. We were both crying and it was this scene that my mom opened the door to find.

"Sam, why don't you come inside, you too Kate."

Sitting in the kitchen, tissues and red eyes I thought for a while nobody would say anything but while my mother was busying herself making coffee for Bev and tea for Kate and I, I could see Bev was anxious to explain things.

"It seems that Kate and Sam have been longing to meet each other for several years but only met yesterday. I know Kate has mentioned Sam to me several times."

"Is Kate the girl you liked on the debating team?"

The slight nodding of my head brought out a smile from Kate, and I felt a warmth knowing that Kate had felt something for me, it was also sad to think how different my life might have been if I had had the courage to talk with her, though why she never talked to me until yesterday, I could not imagine. She was popular and confident, surely it could not be a problem for her to approach me. Everyone would have thought she was being charitable.

"Kate, is this how you imagined your first date with Sam?"

It was my mom asking, and Kate nodded.

"I didn't know he would look so lovely, and he is even nicer than I thought and I never imagined he would like me the same way I like him"

I smiled back at her and sat up in my chair, it just felt better to know that she wasn't being cruel, that she had imagined being with me maybe as much as I imagined being with her, though in my fantasy I had slightly different dress sense.

My reaction was noticed and my mother and Bev exchanged glances.

"Well, it seems that Kate got her wish for a first date, what about you Sam, was it a good first date for you"

I thought about it and realised that my own dream of our first date had been one of her forgiving me for being a geek, that nowhere in my dream had it ever been that we would have so much to talk about, be so relaxed together and enjoy each others company. It had always been Kate being kind and as I said before charitable and then after a long time, she would get used to me, maybe love me a little and we'd live an ordinary life where I felt lucky to have her. Whatever this first date had been, it was still much much better than that.

"Yes, better than I ever imagined"

Kate was beaming now, and I could see her lips move to say thank you, but no words came out. It was Mom who broke the silence.

"Kate, is this a one time thing, or you would like Sam to wear dresses more often?"

My eyes met Kate's and she nodded.

I looked at my mother, she was smiling. Maybe this was what she always wanted too.

Kate and her mom said goodnight, I kissed Kate, or rather she kissed me as she had before. How she could do that with our moms watching….. They found it very amusing.

My mom and I didn't talk about it before going to bed, but she gave me some cleansing cream and moisturiser and showed me how to use them. She stood behind me at the mirror arranging my hair. She was imagining how it would look longer and in different styles.

She found a nightdress for me and kissed me goodnight, the first time she had done that for a long time, though maybe it had been a long time since I had let her.

I slept well and in the morning I woke wondering had it all been a dream or maybe a nightmare.

No, I was still wearing the nightdress. It was white cotton with pretty designs across the neck and sleeves. It came down to my knees where the hem was trimmed with lace.

In the bathroom I found things had changed a little. My old red robe was gone and a long blue one replaced it, I recognised it as being left behind by my cousin some time ago, maybe the nightdress had been too.

There was no bath soap in the tray and my mother had taken advantage of things to move her gels and creams to a more convenient place, along the side of the bath.

I was looking at them when I heard my mom call through the door.

"Sam, use the shower gel and the separate shampoo and conditioner"

"Thanks"

I showered and found two big soft towels left out for me, things were getting more comfortable.

I put on my cousins bathrobe and went downstairs.

My mother had been busy, two place mats were set out and it looked like we would be having breakfast together and not taking turns being silent as we swallowed tea and toast at the kitchen counter.

It was a nice breakfast, croissant and coffee. Usually I wasn't allowed coffee so this was a real treat at home. I was being treated as an adult albeit a female one. Had I been missing so much of my relationship with my mom before?

My school had a casual Friday policy. While most wore their favourite clothes advertising the latest name in youth fashion, I always wore corduroy jeans and my x-files t-shirt, the same every Friday.

"Kate dropped these over this morning, she says she'll meet you at the school gates, she had to go into school early for gym class, otherwise she would have gone with you."

"Mom, I'm not wearing that to school" I looked closer at the blouse, black and white stripes and a clearly defined Italian designer label, exclusively for women. It was not in any way a shirt. I could now see there were black cotton pants as well and no doubt Kate had dropped off some black shoes as well.

"What else would you wear?"

"Mom, please, it's okay to wear a nightdress to bed or a dress at home or if Kate wants I'll wear a dress sometimes when we go out where we won't know anyone, but I can't go to school"

"Sam, listen honey. You have not been happy for some time, you were happy yesterday. I liked seeing you happy"

Things had changed, even the silence between us was not the sullen not talking of before. Did I want to go back?

I started towards the door but my mom stopped me in my tracks.

"Please think about this, and Kate?"

It took a few moments for the words to sink in.

I don't know what happened next, but I gave in, took a breath and accepted that whatever happened in school today would not be any worse than any other day.

With the blouse and slacks in hand, I went to my room. New black panties, stockings and a camisole were waiting on my bed and fashionable black shoes on the floor. On top of the camisole, there was a card and a rose.

The card had real wild flowers on the front and the message inside warmed my heart. I held the rose in my hand as I read the card.

"My beautiful Samantha, I love you. My heart has never been happier than now, my dreams have come true. I know we will share joy and happiness together. Love Kate."

I didn't cry, but I wanted to holding back as I dressed.

Soon I was with my mother in the hallway, a more appropriate schoolbag than my overlarge satchel. I now had a leather bag, not big enough for the books I usually carried, but enough for the new essentials of my life.

Mom had helped me with my hair and a little makeup. The stockings felt good on my legs and the camisole was soft and silky, I felt I had been missing these simple pleasures of life.

I took the bus to school as usual, mom offered to drive me but I thought it would not be changing my life if I took the easy way now.

The other students on the bus looked, but not unkindly, just wondering who the new girl was. I sat beside a girl I recognised from junior school, she was shy, so I knew she wouldn't talk with me, she never had before. It was a nice feeling, starting over, nobody knew who I was, no history of being a geek.

It took 40 seconds before the girl started talking to me. My blouse was lovely apparently, she liked my shoes but thought they would be nicer with a skirt. I thanked her and told her that her pink dress was very nice and her shoes were perfect. She told me about her teachers, most of whom I had known when I was her age. She liked them all and loved school.

Kate was waiting for me as promised. I had the rose with me and gave it to her. She kissed me on each cheek the way I had seen the girls do always. She was happy to see me and had a little doubt about me coming to school.

"If I hadn't , what would you have done?"

"I would have gone to your house after school and told you I love you and that would not change if you wear a dress or not"

"Really?"

"Of course, it's you that I love, not how you dress, but, you look so lovely I feel so good just looking at you"

 

What to do? I could go home, change, and Kate would still love me, still be my girlfriend and we would still be happy forever.

"Come on, I want you to meet my friends"

My heart as I could see they were coming towards us, should I run? Too late.

I knew all their names but we still went through all the introductions a kiss on each cheek from all of them Kate didn't say anything more about me than my name, if they already knew who I was, I couldn't tell.

Kate held my hand now as they talked, fashion, boys and the injustice of school nights. I didn't say anything, and nobody cared, they talked freely, fully occupied in the whirl of words. I relaxed and almost jumped when the bell went.

The group broke up quickly with arrangements to meet between classes and lunch, I was included.

Kate took me to my first class, math. I was last in and everyone, including the teacher saw her kiss me on the cheek and wish me good luck.

I took my usual place, everyone looked, particularly the teacher.

I decided to say nothing and instead let them work it out for themselves.

At last the teacher made a decision and the class began, nothing would be said, what could he say. 'is that you Sam', 'I like your blouse' I felt better now, stronger. It was a perfectly normal class. No meteors hit me, no bolts of lightening. I noticed that my fellow students occasionally sneaked a look at me but apart from paying attention to the teacher, I was more aware of how comfortable my shoes were and the silky feeling of the camisole. The feeling as my legs brushed against each other was sensation heaven, what would it be like in a skirt.

Kate was waiting outside my class and if there was any potential for comments, she ensured that only jealousy could result by kissing me again, on the cheek as the girls do, but not one of the boys in my class would deny their envy at being kissed by Kate.

I made it to all my classes that day, sometimes Kate was there but not every time and it was okay. I wasn't looking for her though I was pleased to see her.

Lunch in the sports hall was fun, the girls largely ignored me, not in a bad way, it was just there was so much for them and their lives to share that unless I had a comment to make, they just carried on. I laughed a lot and although they were sometimes unkind with their comments, they appeared most cruel with each other. I started to wonder had I wasted too many hours worrying about what was being said to me and about me.

All through the day, I was aware of my clothes. I knew I walked well in my shoes, but I became more aware of the movement of my body beyond the image I had learned from my mother at dance class. I liked it, and the extra few centimetres made some boys in my class seem short. Some looked as I had, awkward and uncomfortable in their place with in the world. I wanted to reach out to them and tell them to stop worrying, but I knew they would take no notice of me.

I looked more at the girls than the boys, what they were wearing, their shoes and even their handbags. I would have to understand more about make up and somehow decide what I liked for myself and I supposed that these thoughts meant that I was fully committed to the idea. Maybe just as well, the barrier that protected me today might not help on Monday if I came back to school as the geek who had spent Friday in high heels.

That night I talked with my mom and told her that I would be wearing more dresses and less geeky t-shirts. She was happy for me and agreed to help as much as I needed. Kate was delirious with joy, Bev a little confused as the story unfolded that I was not a habitual wearer of girl's clothes but she got used to the idea and was very supportive.

 

My story doesn't here, in some ways it could, but Kate and I are no longer together. We parted just before her Senior Prom. She wanted to go with a boy, can you believe it?

It was okay, really. By then I was doing great at school, had made new friends and found myself a little bit of a celebrity.

I am taking steps to ensure that I stay feminine, nothing surgical though. I have two doctors that help me and my developing breasts are apparently very attractive (I must admit I like them tooJ . I am taking courses in make up and design and finding my own style.

I suppose I am still a geek at heart, because I have found my first job, with a software company. They are paying me to go to college and treat me well. I don't tell anyone that I am a boy but I suppose it will eventually be known because I don't intend to lie or attempt to deceive my new friends and colleagues.

The weirdest thing is, I have a new girlfriend, Crystal. It was weird because, she approached me one day at work and just blurted out that she couldn't explain it but, she felt attracted to me and she knew she wasn't gay and then walked away.

She wouldn't talk to me after that, avoided me and later told me she was sure I would tell everyone and embarrass her.

When we did get to talk, I showed her my drivers' license. It was my picture, my name and a very clear M for gender.

Our relationship is wonderful, loving, affectionate and she loves my male side as much as my female expression.

She is not friends with Kate, but we see each other regularly. Crystal is convinced that Kate will do the same to every boy she will meet.

I don't know if she is right or not, but we met Kate's latest boyfriend last night.

He is a very handsome boy, two years older than her and clearly head over heels in love.

Towards the end of dinner at Kate's apartment, I noticed he was wearing stocking. The wine must have relaxed him enough to forget because he crossed his legs in that male way with his ankle on his knee. I realised then he had been careful to keep his legs under the table. I had already noticed his eyebrows looked nice and neat and he had a neat manicure with clear polish.

I cornered Kate in the kitchen, she was very excited that I had noticed and had wanted to tell me but had promised Tom she wouldn't.

She was in love and Tom was very sweet. She sounded thrilled with their relationship and how lovely he looked in his ruby red pyjamas and pedicure to match.

He wore panties all the time now and she was sure he would love wearing high heels.

I guess Crystal was right. I don't know if Tom knew about me but I doubt it, would he be encouraged or frightened seeing where Kate's enthusiasm for feminising men might lead? In time we'll find out how far Kate wants to go.

  

  

  

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