Emily                          by: Janet L. Stickney

 

I was dismayed at the way I looked. I had dreamed of this moment for a long time, and here I was, my dream shattered, unable to correct my many mistakes. I had gone into the storage closet and taken some of my sisters clothes, and in the privacy of my room, tried to dress as my dream girl. The clothes were the right size, but I didn’t have the right undergarments, my hair, while long enough to be brushed into a feminine style, was simply combed straight down. My feeble attempts at makeup ended with me having to much foundation, mascara that was too heavy, the wrong color eyeshadow, and a bright red lipstick that did nothing for my generally pale skin. The skirt was to long, while the blouse, with no breasts to hold the shape, hung on me and looked terrible. I had on a pair of my Mothers shoes, a pair of her old heels, which neither fit, nor matched the skirt or anything else. I sat on the bed, angry at my desires, yet unable to stop what I was doing. I was about to take everything off when my bedroom door opened suddenly. I turned, fright in my eyes, and saw my Mother standing there.

We looked at each other for a few moments, before she walked into the room and shut the door behind her. I’m 15, and should have known better than to try something like this…but I couldn’t stop. My desire to dress as a girl was not something I chose, but felt, deep inside where it hurts the most. I sat on the bed, tears starting to run down my face, waiting for her to say something, anything.

"If you keep crying, you’ll get makeup all over that blouse. Why don’t you change, take a shower, slip on a robe and come into the family room."

I watched as Mom silently closed the door behind herself, then slowly stripped the clothes off and stepped into the shower. I washed away the makeup, scrubbing my mouth trying to remove the last vestiges of the lipstick, yet my shame remained, no matter how hard I scrubbed. After I had thoroughly washed, I put my robe on, and went to the family room.

I sat across from her as she looked at me. I wasn’t real tall, 5’4", about 125 pounds, not much bigger than she is in fact. I have brown hair and eyes to her blond and green. I saw a smile creep across her face, wondering if she was about to make a joke at my expense.

"If you let me, I’ll help you dress as a girl."

The sentence hung in the air between us, as she smiled at me.

"It’s seems obvious to me that you’ve not only done this before, but I’ll bet that you’re going to keep on dressing as a girl until you think you got it right, so why don’t you let me help you start by doing it the right way? Do you want me to help you, or are you too afraid?"

I did want her help, and yes, I was still afraid of what might happen if I did say yes. My Mother saw the indecision on my face and decided to take matters into her own hands.

"Come with me."

She stood, and I followed her. We went to the storage closet, unlocked it, and as I stood there, she piled clothes of all kinds in my arms.

"I’m glad that I saved this stuff from when Claire was your age!" When she was done she led me back to my room.

She rummaged through the pile, finding the items she was looking for.

"Put these on."

It was a pair of panties. I stepped into them, and once I had them on, she directed me to take the robe off.

"This is a bra, and this is how you wear it."

She fastened it around me, showing me how to fasten it and adjust the straps correctly. When that was done, she used a pair of socks to fill the cups of the bra, then a slip went over my head which she smoothed down my small frame.

"Come sit at my vanity, and I’ll show you how to do makeup."

I followed her, sat as directed, and watched as she transformed my youthful male face into that of a lovely young girl. She took the foundation and applied it to my face with her fingertips, drawing it out evenly across my face. A powder to set it was dusted on, and after a moment, the excess was brushed away. She used a light gray with rose highlights on my eyelids, a soft black eyeliner and pencil, outlining my eyes. A rose blusher on my cheeks blended with a sponge completed my makeup for now. She took my still damp hair into her hands and began to use her rollers, rubbing in a gel, set the rollers, and put a plastic cap on my head. I stayed under the dryer for 30 minutes while she left the room.

She returned with a brush in her hand, then began to brush my hair into a very popular feminine style, using scissors to trim my bangs evenly across my forehead. "Follow me." In my room, she had me pull on a pair of pantyhose, then stand still while she slipped a blue shirtwaist dress over my head. The dress buttoned up the front, so as she watched, I did up all of them. The dress had a belt which she fastened and pulled slightly snug.

"Wear these."

She handed me a pair of off white flats which my feet slipped into them easily as the shoes were old and worn. She took my hand, then she fastened white beads around my neck, gave me a white bracelet, clipping round white earrings to my ears.

"This lipstick is a good color, put this on."

She watched as I put it on, my normally pale lips now turning a nice rose. I had yet to see myself dressed, so when she walked me to the mirror, and finally saw myself, I was overwhelmed!

The reflection of myself as a girl betrayed nothing of my maleness. My lipstick, once applied, gave me pouting lips, my natural cupids bow shape perfectly accented in a playfully light red color. My eyes, were clear and bright, accented by the eyeshadow in a way I had never managed before. I was only fifteen, and my cheeks were smooth, with a clear complexion. Mom handed me the delicate perfume, and I used my fingers dab it on the pulse points Mom pointed out, including behind my earlobes. Mom had brushed my mane of thick brown hair and let it fall into a pageboy style, her practiced hands smoothing down the errant tresses.

Underneath it all I wore a matching bra and panty set, pretty, a soft blue in color. They were plain cotton, the panties French cut, resting high on my hips, clinging tightly to my midsection, accenting my bottom, simple and appropriate for a girl of fifteen. The bra was just soft blue cotton, without under wiring, or lifts. All in all, I looked just like any average looking high school girl. This girl I was looking at wasn’t a cheerleader, but she would not be desperate for a boyfriend either.

Mom watched as a smile crept across my face and my entire body seemed to give off a new energy.

"Now isn’t that better? Come on, lets sit on the patio and talk about this new girl that we have in the house."

I didn’t want to leave the safety of the house, but Mom insisted, so I followed her out the back of the house and onto the patio.

"You might think I was shocked to see you that way, and you’re right, but I understand. It might seem strange to you that I helped you, but I’d rather you do everything right or not do it at all, and if you do want to dress as a girl, you might as well let me help you do it right, that way, if somebody drops by, you won’t have to worry about how you look. Now then, just what shall we call you? We can’t use Donald can we? How about…"

I raised my hand, interrupting her, "Mom, I like the name Emily."

"Okay, Emily it is. From now on, whenever you are dressed this way, we’ll call you Emily."

I heard the words "whenever you’re dressed this way" and knew that she would allow me to do it again, which made my heart beat faster. We heard the front door open, and I started to get up and head for my room.

"Stay where you are Emily. You look very nice, you’ll be fine."

I sat back down just as my sister walked out on the patio.

"Hi Mom, who’s this beautiful young lady?"

"This is Emily. I discovered her this afternoon hiding in your brothers room."

My sister Claire looked at me and smiled.

"Stand up and let me see all of you Emily."

I stood up, uneasy at the way my Mother and older sister seemed to understand what was driving me.

"You probably have a few questions Emily, sit her next to me and I’ll tell you a little story."

Mother motioned with her hand as I sat back down.

"Before you were born, your Aunt Carol had a son. Mike was his name. He also liked to dress as a girl, but his Dad caught him, and beat him almost senseless. The next time he was caught, he was about your age, and his Dad went nuts and beat him again. But Mike must have snapped. That night he killed himself in his fathers bedroom with a pistol, and at the time, Mike was completely dressed as a girl when he did it. He left a note that pointed to father’s lack of understanding, and his insistence that Mike be a real He-man, but Michael was a quiet, shy boy that was an excellent student, and never had any interest in all of that He-man stuff his Dad liked so much. Mike was miserable, driven in two directions at the same time, then he was dead. Your Aunt and Uncle divorced soon after, and Your Uncle Frank drank himself to death while your Aunt Carol has never really fully recovered. When I found you today, I knew that you had that same desire. If you want to be Emily for a while, you just tell me and then change clothes".

My sister Claire looked at me, now so obviously feminine, and asked me if I wanted to go have some dinner.

"Dinner! You want me to leave the house? I’m nervous just sitting here!"

"I’m sure that’s true, but you look wonderful, and nobody will ever know. Besides, Mom and I will be there to protect you."

Claire turned to Mother, and asked her if she had a purse that I could use.

"Every girl carries a purse, Emily, and you should get used to it."

It seemed that they were almost forcing me to go beyond what I had ever considered, but they had insisted, so, for the very first time ever, I left not only the safety of my room, but the safety of our house. I found myself walking to the car, afraid to even look and see if the neighbors were watching.

"Relax Emily! For goodness sake, you are quite lovely, and nobody will be able to tell you aren’t a real girl unless you give them a reason."

I sat back in the seat, wanting this more than anything, yet more than unsure of my ability to go out without being caught. Claire pulled the car into a parking spot, and after just a look from her, I opened the door. Standing in the parking lot with the gentle breeze blowing up and around my skirt, I finally calmed down, and thought, "It’s now or never", and actually led the way into the restaurant.

We were seated, and as I looked around, I saw that not one person was looking at me strangely.

"See! We told you that you looked fine, in fact you look better than some of the girls in my classes."

Claire was 27, single after her husband was killed in Desert Storm. He flew ground attack aircraft, and was shot down close to Baghdad in the firestorm of flak on the second day of the war. Now she taught dance to girls from 10 to 18. We ate dinner, the conversation mostly between Claire and Mother about how many of the clothes we had in storage I could use! On the way home, Claire said that she would stop by the next day, Sunday.

Mother and I spent the evening watching television, and I stayed dressed, unwilling to end the best day of my life. Eventually I went to my room to change, and on the bed was a nightgown! I took the clothes off and washed the makeup off, slipped the nightgown on and climbed between the sheets. In my sleep I saw my ‘girl’, and knew that I had discovered something inside, something that I really liked. The next morning, still wearing the nightgown, I showed up at the breakfast table wiping away the sleep from my eyes. Mom and I had toast and coffee for breakfast.

"I was planning on taking a ride this afternoon, possibly looking at some new houses. If you would like to come, I’ll help you get dressed again."

She saw my quick, involuntary smile, so she told me to get myself ready.

I had not really shaved much before this, but this time I went in the bath, filled the tub, and climbed into the warm water and began to shave off every trace of hair I could reach. I also shaved my light beard closely. When I stepped out of the tub, my skin was smooth all over, and seemed softer to the touch. I had even shaved my groin into a small patch. In my room, I found another pair of panties and slipped them on, then I sat on the bed and pulled the pantyhose on again. The sensation of the nylon against my now truly bare skin was electric. I "tucked" myself to a more feminine line, and called my Mother.

"Mom! I’m ready!"

She let me do my own makeup, watching, and correcting the few mistakes I made. My hair didn’t need the rollers again, so she brushed my hair back into place then used a quick dash of hairspray on it before she led me back to my room.

Mom said she had a specific outfit in mind for me to wear, so when she found it, she laid it on the bed for me, then she sat and watched as I struggled with the bra, adjusting it so that it fit right, then, just as I was about to put the rolled up socks in the cups, she asked me to wait. Moments later she returned with two small balloons and two of those blue things that you put in the refrigerator and used when you went on a picnic. In the bathroom, she cut away the bottoms, and with me holding the balloon, she used a small funnel to pour some of the stuff into the balloon. When she was done, I tied the ends tightly.

"Slip those in your bra Emily, let’s see how they work."

I did as she asked, and was delighted when I found that they bounced, felt, and had conformed to the shape of the bra cups, which of course is the shape of a natural breast! I pulled a slip to my waist, seeing that it was very short, but fortunately, the skirt was a bit longer, yet fell at just below mid thigh on me. The skirt was in a red tartan plaid, pleated, with a sewn in waist. The blouse was short sleeved, white, with a lace insert on the front and a round neck collar. I slipped my arms in, buttoned up the blouse, and saw the twin mounds of my breasts straining against the material. I fastened the button of the skirt and pulled the zipper closed. For shoes, I pulled out a pair of black flats from under the bed. As I slipped my feet into them, I smiled at my Mother.

"I had to have a pair of shoes, so about two months ago I bought my own."

Mom said nothing about my having my own shoes, and after I put my lipstick on, she handed me a black purse.

"There’s an old wallet in there, why don’t you transfer your stuff to that, take your lipstick, a few tissues, and a brush. Then we can go."

I had always liked the look of short skirts, but had never worn one this short before, yet my hairless arms and legs made me feel so feminine, and the swirl of the skirt around my thighs as I walked was a new sensation, one that I could not deny that I enjoyed. We walked out to the car, and I carefully watched how Mom moved her arms, then tried to do it the way she did. The drive was pleasant as we drove, the sun was out, without a cloud in the sky. Mom drove us to a new subdivision located on a lake. Several models of houses were open, so she parked in front of the center one. I was rapidly gaining confidence, walking beside Mom as she entered the house. It was a ranch style, fairly large, with a finished basement. The salesman met us in the kitchen.

"Hi. I’m Paul Menton. If you have any questions, holler out."

We left him, walking into the first bedroom. Mom noticed the large closets right away, commenting on it, then saying that I would have plenty of room for both of my sets of clothes. In the basement there was a room for a pool table, a small bath, and an office like room.

"We could put your computer in here Emily. It would be ideal for you to do your homework."

We both liked the house a lot, so we looked at the map, selecting several lots that we thought might be nice. Paul offered to walk us around, then took my arm and lead the way. Mom fell in love with a lot that was on a cul de sac, and after a short discussion with Paul, she wrote a check as a down payment, then Paul made arrangement for us to meet later that day with the builder to make sure that everything we wanted was included in the deal. Mom and I walked around the house again, then, while she and I were at the lot we had chosen, she mentioned to me that I would be attending an entirely new school in the fall. We told Paul that we would be back at 4 to meet the builder.

"We have the time Emily, and you really should have some lingerie of your own, especially if you continue to dress this way. Why don’t we go to the mall?"

I knew that a lot of my friends would be there, and immediately got a little tense and edgy, but didn’t say anything. But Mom saw it.

"Emily, you have to stop being so antsy all of the time. You look very nice and you know it. Now settle down."

We walked into the mall, the hard heels of my flats clicking on the hard surface of the floor as I trailed after Mom, following her into the lingerie section of the department store, and saw three girls from my class standing there! Fear kept me rooted to the spot, but I also watched them, with an eagle eye, from behind a rack of bras, to see if there was any suggestion that they recognized me, but they never gave any indication that they did.

"Lets try these on Emily."

Mom startled me because I was so intent on watching the girls, and I must have jumped clear out into the aisle. In her hand were several bras. In the changing room I took my blouse and bra off, surprised to find that the homemade breasts were warm. The bras all fit me, but the plain jane ones didn’t thrill me at all. I liked the lacy, low cut bras instead, and after a plea from me, Mom relented, and let me get one of them. We bought white, black, and flesh toned bras in size 34 B. Four packages of panties, all cotton, in various colors, and a waist nipper completed our purchases in the lingerie shop.

In the mall proper I saw many of the students I went to school with, but none of them noticed me as a boy in a skirt, which was only a minor comfort. I was still afraid they might recognize me. In a small dress shop, Mom bought me a black chemise style dress, and three blouses of my own. As we passed a jewelry shop Mom asked me if a lot of the guys in school have pierced ears, and I told her yes.

"Sure, but I always thought that if I did it, they might find out about…me…about Emily."

"I think that all girls should have pierced ears, don’t you?"

Nodding my head yes, we went in, and I had my ears pierced with small plastic inserts put in. Mom bought me a pair of really good earrings. They were gold with a black inlay, hanging about an inch below my earlobes, plus a few other pairs of earrings. The girl let me put in the gold hoops, and after a moment, I never felt the extra weight, just the delightful knowledge I had them on.

"We have to meet Claire for lunch at 2pm, so we just have time to get your hair trimmed."

I soon found myself in a beauty salon getting my hair cut and styled. The girl washed everything out, cut, then restyled my hair in a slightly shorter look. It was still down to the nape of my neck, but looked so much better.

"This will be easy to take care of honey. When you come back, ask for Wendy."

Mom paid the bill and we went to meet Claire.

Claire was waiting for us when they got there. She saw my new earrings, the pleated skirt, shapely legs underneath, the new hairdo, and the way my breasts bounced when I walked, all taken in at a glance, and knew that I had finally admitted my desire to be a girl, not only to myself, but to our small family. We told Claire about the new house.

"I have that standing offer from Mr. Benson and my wife, so I’ll call them and make the deal. We have to see the builder at 4, maybe you would like to come along."

Claire said she would, and she also commented on my new look.

It took several hours to finalize every aspect of the new house, and I made some suggestions of my own. It was almost 7 by the time we got home that night. I had more excitement than I ever expected, and unwilling to let it stop, I slept in my nightgown, dreaming of the days events. School was boring after my exciting weekend, back as my male self, I immediately felt the difference in the material of the clothes. Rougher, stiffer it seemed, even though they had been washed many times. Mom had told me that I was welcome to become Emily any time I chose, but during school days it took so long for me to change back and forth that I never had a chance to do it the way I knew that I had to, so I always looked forward to Friday afternoons when I could change into a skirt or dress. I had read one of Moms magazines, and discovered that a bubblebath would make your skin smooth, and that there was a product that would dissolve hair, so on my way home from school I went to a local drugstore and bought some of both. By the time I got home, I was excited, and ran up the stairs and into my bedroom. Quickly stripping, I went into the bath, and read the instructions on the jar. The stuff smelled just awful, but I smeared it on, then, after a short wait, I began to see that the hair on my skin was dissolving. I stepped into the shower and watched as my unwanted hair washed away. My skin was red, but hairless. I immediately filled the tub, adding the scented powder. Soaking until the water started to chill was relaxing, making my smooth skin feel better, and the silky feel of my skin was worth the effort.

By the time Mom got home, I had changed, did my own makeup and made a valiant effort on my hair. I didn’t plan on going anywhere, but she reminded me that we were supposed to have dinner with Quentin and his son Brock. Quentin was the guy that my Mother was currently dating, Brock, his son, was 16, and attended a private school. My heart sank as I thought of having to change.

"Mom!"

I started to complain, but Mom pointed out that Quentin and Brock had never met me as Donald, or Emily for that matter.

"Your name is Emily tonight. Let me redo your hair, and we can change for dinner."

The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got, but under Moms stern eye, I went to my room to change.

"Wear the new chemise we bought last week. If you strip to your panties, I’ll help you fasten the new waist nipper, and that dress will look sensational on you!"

I did as I was told, and as Mom fastened the hooks of the nipper, I felt my waist getting smaller. I had raised my arms to make it easier for Mom to fasten it up, but when I lowered my arms, I saw mounds of flesh where my breasts would be, if I had any!

"Mom!, Look! I got boobs!"

One look told mom that we had accidentally found a clever answer to my lack of breasts.

"Put your bra back on Emily."

When I had it on, Mom went to her room and returned with two oval shaped pads. She slipped them under my skin that was now held up firmly by the corset like waist nipper, and with the foam pads in my bra, raised the flesh. If anyone saw me, it would appear to them that I have my own breasts!

"Isn’t that better Emily?"

I agreed with a broad smile. The chemise went over my head easily, Mom zipping it up, watching as the soft material hung to my now very feminine shape, the square cut neckline of the dress hinted at hidden delights, the short hem, which was just above my knees, showed off my nice legs. The dress was short sleeved, and with the addition of a gold bracelet, necklace, and my new black and gold earrings, I looked great. Mom touched up my hair, then went to get herself ready.

I used a bit of Mom’s perfume, touched up my lipstick, and slipped my shoes on, took a look in the mirror, and knew that I was as ready as I was going to get. I was sitting in the family room when Mom walked into the room. We were virtual clones! Mom had done her hair in a style similar to mine, wore a dress that almost matched mine, the only difference were her heels, which were higher. The doorbell rang, bringing me to my feet.

"I’ll get it honey, wait here."

Mom returned with the two men. I saw that both were tall, over 6 feet, huskily built, with short blond hair and piercing blue eyes. Introductions were made, and the guys escorted us to the car. It was a short drive to the restaurant, Mom in front with Quentin, me in the back with Brock. When we were seated, Quentin mentioned to Mom that he understood that she had a son, not a daughter.

"You must have heard the old nickname we used to use. "Emmie" we called her when she was younger. You must have made an assumption. As you can see, Emily is a girl."

He looked over just as I reached down to pick up my napkin, which had fallen off my lap, and he had an unobstructed view right down my dress, and the mounds of my breasts.

"I guess your right Gwen. I must have made a mistake."

Dinner was pleasant, both of the guys courteous and attentive to whatever we needed. Having been so quickly accepted as a girl, I was having a great time! Being accepted as a girl by a boy nearly age was a real thrill, and I soaked it up. When they dropped us off at home, Brock didn’t try to kiss me, even though I entertained that idea in the back of my mind.

The next morning I was informed that we had chores to do, and since I liked it so much, I might as well do them as a girl.

"Just wear shorts and a T-shirt today. We have a lot of cleaning to do."

So I spent the day in panties, a bra, cutoff jeans, and my tennis shoes, cleaning out closets, packing things up, vacuuming carpets, and wiping down the window sills. By the time dinner came around, I was whipped! Mom and I had managed to clean about half of the house. We both went to the shower, put nightgowns on, and watched television, then about 8, Brock called and asked to talk to me. Mom watched as I sat on the couch talking, then, after a bit, I had my legs folded under me like a lot of girls do when they talk on the phone. There was a lot of giggling before I hung up the phone.

"What was that all about Emily?"

"That was Brock. He just wanted to talk. He asked me to go to a show tomorrow afternoon."

"Are you going?"

"I said yes."

"Umm." was Mom’s only response, but I know she wondered what was happening inside my tiny brain.

The next morning we both slept late, and ate a brunch together.

"What time is Brock coming over?"

"He said 4, so I have plenty of time to get ready. I thought I would wear the red plaid skirt again."

"You know of course that he thinks you are a girl, which means that you’ll have to be very careful Emily. You can find yourself in serious trouble if you aren’t careful."

I had a fleeting thought about that, but in my excitement at being treated like a girl, I dismissed it.

"I’ll be careful Mom. How much trouble can there be? It’s just a show!"

Mom knew that this was a big step. Dating is usually fun, but sometimes , even for real girls, it could be dangerous.

My skin was still smooth to the touch, so I took a quick shower and washed my hair. The blue cotton panties went on, followed by the pantyhose, which gave me that electric thrill again. I sat at the vanity and did my makeup, using the bare minimum I needed to get by, a soft coral blusher, a light blue eye shadow, and a soft red lipstick. Then I used the balloon breastforms, slipped my arms through the blouse and buttoned it up. I really liked the short skirt, so after I had the slip on I stepped into it and fastened the button and pulled the zipper closed, and my feet went into my black flats, then I grabbed my purse. Standing in front of the full length mirror, I was very happy with how I looked, and went back to the family room just as I rang the doorbell. Brock was almost 8" taller than I am, and with his burr cut hair, he looked like a young marine. Mom said hello, told me that she had to be home by 8, and kissed me goodbye.

I sat close to him as we drove to the theater, as I knew many girls did with their dates. The movie was an action adventure type that we both enjoyed. Brock made sure that I had a drink and popcorn. Right in the parking lot, just before he took me home, he reached for me and pulled me close, then kissed me! I was momentarily stunned, but I stayed where I was, and he kissed me again.

"You better take me home Brock, it’s almost 8."

He dropped me off at the front door, and gave me another kiss just as I went in.

"How was the show Emily?" Mom asked the right question, but I was somewhere else right then.

"Okay I guess. He’s real nice isn’t he Mom?"

Mom must have known that I was climbing out on a very narrow limb, so she decided to bring me back to reality.

"Do you plan on seeing Brock again Emily?"

"If I asks me out, I guess so, why?"

"Because you are a boy, like him. That’s why. I don’t care if you dress as a girl, but dating? I’m not so sure I like that Emily."

There wasn’t much I could say to that, because Mom was right. I had let my common sense drift away in a sea of femininity and the heady sensation of being out on a date. I knew better. The following week at school I watched how the girls acted, walked, and so on, trying to remember as much as I could. I never had my entire mind on school work as I began to look forward to the weekends, which made my grades drop a bit. Mom saw my distraction, and knew that she would have to find a way to curb my appetite for dressing as a girl without making me angry or depressed, but it was Claire that gave her the idea. That Friday when I got home, I had expected to go and change right away, being ready when my Mom got home. I was surprised to see Claire and my Mom sitting there in the family room.

"Hi! Come sit down for a minute." When I was seated, she continued. "You like being Emily so much that we thought you might like to be Emily for the entire Christmas break."

I was stunned! Three entire weeks as Emily!

"There will be some conditions though."

"Oh oh", I thought.

"No matter where we go, or what we do, you have to be Emily. You can’t wear any of your boy clothes at all, not even PJ’s. If we are invited out, you will be Emily. If we have company, you will be Emily. You can’t go anywhere, or do anything, unless you are dressed as Emily."

I sat there, wanting to be Emily for three whole weeks, but what about Christmas? My Grandparents? My Aunts and Uncles!

"If you go change clothes right now, I will assume that you accept my rules."

Mom and Claire sat there waiting for a reaction. They had hoped that I might see how hard it would be and relent, but I got up and went to my room and sat on the bed wondering how everyone would take it if I was dressed as a girl, but as I thought about it, I looked at my closet, with the few dresses and skirts I had, and began to change. I returned to the family room, dressed in the blue shirtwaist dress, my makeup and hair done to as much perfection as I could manage.

"I see. Okay, Emily, you have made your choice, so I guess that we can clean out any of your male clothes from your room."

All three of us went to my room and began packing things away. By dinner time, every stitch of my male clothes were in a box in the basement.

"Oh, by the way Emily, we have been invited to the ball at Quentin’s country club, so you’ll need a new party dress. How about we go to the mall tomorrow and see if we can’t find the perfect dress for you."

I knew right then that Mom and Claire had some other surprises in store for me.

The next morning, I was told to wear "just panties, pantyhose, a bra, a skirt and blouse".

When I came into the kitchen, I saw that they were dressed in skirts and blouses, just like me.

"Emily, Claire suggested that we give you this chance, so you would see that being a girl can be fun, but at the same time, we want you to realize that you aren’t a girl. I think that three weeks, including Christmas, being a girl full time, will help you understand the difference."

By this time I was thoroughly confused, but I wanted to be a girl so bad that I was prepared for whatever came.

In the mall we went back to the lingerie shop first.

"Yes, my daughter needs a corset. Do you have anything that will take her waist to 23 inches?"

The saleslady found one, and Mom took me by the hand into the changing room.

"Women suffer for beauty sometimes Emily, this might be one of them. Take your blouse and bra off."

I quickly did as I was told, then Mom put the corset around me and fastened the hooks, and began tightening the laces.

"Raise your arms honey."

I felt the stiff material as it compressed me ever inward until, finally, Mom was satisfied.

"Lower your arms now Emily."

Once again Mom saw that my own flesh had almost filled the small cups of the corset, then Mom showed me how to manipulate myself so that the maximum amount of breast showed.

"Wait here a minute Emily."

Mom returned with some silicone breast enhancers, which she slipped under my natural breasts, raising them while filling out the rest of the bra cup evenly.

"You can put your blouse back on now, and meet me out front."

It felt so restrictive, and I had trouble bending over, yet I knew that I was wearing one of the most feminine items made, and I smiled at the very thought of it. We went into several dress shops before Mom found a dress she wanted me to try on, and I wholeheartedly agreed. It was an all black strapless gown with a flared taffeta skirt and satin bodice. The cut on the neckline exposed a lot of my newly discovered breasts, while stopping just above my knees. I tried it on and loved it. The corset gave me the very figure I needed to wear a dress like this one. Claire sat on a chair watching as I walked around the store in the new dress, amazed that a boy could look so feminine. We bought it, and headed for the shoe store where I tried on several different styles, but the one that looked the best with the dress was a black patent leather shoe with gold and rhinestone toe clips and a 3" heel.

In a large department store we looked for a nice suit for Christmas day. In size 6, there were a lot of styles, and I wanted one with a flared skirt, but Mom insisted on a straight skirt, so I came away with a pink, fitted suit. Just as we were about to go into a small café for lunch, one of my classmates saw me. I must have done something to give myself away, the light was just right, or he saw through my feminine guise. Whatever, he walked over to me.

"Don? Is that you?"

I was in a pickle now! Mom started to say something, but she recognized him as Eric, a friend that had been to our house several times in the past. I knew that I had to say something, so I gave him my best smile.

"Yes Eric. It’s me. But I’m Emily now."

He looked at me, and saw a very pretty girl, then must have understood that this was more than just a game for me.

"Eric, let’s go over here," I said, as I pointed to a comfort station, "let me explain."

He followed me to the seats while Mom and Claire watched. I was very nervous as I sat down with Eric close beside me.

"I..uh, was messing around, and tried on some of my sisters clothes, and Mom caught me. She told me that if I was going to do it, I might as well do it right, so she helped me get dressed. I guess I liked it, so here I am."

Eric looked at my well done makeup, my hair done in a feminine style, the blouse tight against my breasts, my shapely legs and red smile. The difference was startling, and he had a hard time making his mind accept that the pretty girl sitting next to him was actually his friend Donald. We sat looking at each other, and I was anxiously waiting to see how he would react, while Eric seemed to be trying to find a place for me to fit into one of the limited number of categories he had. Boy? Girl? What?

"You look pretty good…uh, what do you call yourself? Emily?"

"Yes. I chose the name Emily."

"You going to the Christmas dance?"

I hadn’t even thought about the schools annual Christmas dance!

"I don’t think so Eric. I don’t have a date, and, well, I’m going to remain Emily until we go back to school."

Eric looked at me again, and asked if he could call me sometime, and I told him yes. After Eric had left, I joined them in the restaurant, and both Mom and Claire wanted a blow by blow account of what happened.

"I told me the truth Mom. He asked me if I was going to the Christmas dance at the school, and I told him no. Then he asked if he could call me!"

Mom looked at me, and didn’t know if I realized what had just happened.

"You know of course that he’ll tell everyone don’t you? All of your friends at school will know very soon, so you better prepare yourself for whatever happens."

"I know Mom. That’s why I told me the truth."

My open eyed face, with that angelic smile of mine made Mom and Claire wonder about my willingness to admit that I liked to wear girls clothes, especially to my classmates.

By the time we got home, there were several messages on the answering machine, all for me. Eric had called twice, wanting me to call back, and one from Brock. I went to my room and hung up the new clothes, then called Eric. Mom and Claire sat in the kitchen, trying to not listen in. I was on the couch dialing the phone when the doorbell rang. Claire went to get the door. Opening it was a nice looking young lady.

"Is Emily here?"

"Yes, come in."

I heard my name, and went to the foyer. I recognized Eric right away.

"Hi… Erica?"

A quick nod of her head told me that I had guessed right. One look was all it took for Mom to realize that my friend, the girl standing there, was the same young man from the mall. He looked nice, but had not yet figured out how do everything quite right. I guessed that his parents didn’t know about Erica. We went into my room, Mom and Claire watching as we two boys, dressed as girls, giggled as we went into the room. "How about that!" Claire stated the obvious.

Erica and I were in my room when the doorbell rang again, Mom answered it this time.

"Hi. I’m Eric’s Mother, is I here?"

Mom admitted her into the house, but didn’t know quite how to answer her.

"Well yes, but…. "

"He’s dressed as a girl again isn’t he?"

"Why don’t we sit in the kitchen a talk a minute."

Once the three ladies were sitting down, mom told her what had happened.

"It isn’t bragging, but Emily seems to be mastering the art of being feminine, and Erica, well she has a bit more to learn."

Rita, Eric’s Mother was stunned to find out that her son was not the only boy in the school to like the feminine side of life.

"Let me get them in here Rita." Gwen went to Emily’s room.

"Emily, we have company, why don’t you and Erica come in the kitchen."

"Okay Mom, in a minute!"

5 minutes later Erica and I walked into the kitchen, Erica coming face to face with her Mother! Instantly Erica felt the cold sweat of fear as it trickled down her back. Mom walked over and stood beside us.

"It seems obvious to me that we have a couple of girls that have been hiding for a long time."

I looked at my friend, and saw tears starting to well up in her eyes. Rita saw it too.

"Eric…a, your Father would be very angry if I ever saw you dressed like this. You know that don’t you?"

she nodded her head yes.

"So that means that we have to be very careful when you get dressed again, doesn’t it?"

The impact of what Rita said took a minute to sink in.

"You mean that I can, ….you’ll help me…."

"We can talk about it later, but for now, why don’t you and Emily leave us alone for a while."

I didn’t waste any time. I grabbed Erica’s hand and we went back upstairs.

"You know," Claire said, "this could turn out real good if we carefully watch what they do."

"I know Eric’s Dad will turn into a skyrocket if I ever saw him dressed as a girl!"

"That depends on how I sees her doesn’t it? I mean, a party where the boys dress like girls and the girls like boys, that would be all right wouldn’t it?" Rita’s eyes went wide as she thought about what Claire said.

I had to loan Eric some of my boy clothes so she could be herself when she went home with her Mother.

"He’d be really pretty if somebody helped him wouldn’t he Mom?"

Mom and I remembered Rita, her trim figure, a model’s face, and raven black hair with just a hint of a curl. We had both seen some of those traits in Erica too.

"I agree Emily, but we cannot interfere. Rita, Eric, and his Dad have to work it out by themselves."

On the very next day of school, with all of the students just getting out of class, Erica, completely dressed, ran screaming down the hallway shouting, crying, and waving a gun. The kids scattered to whatever room was handy, except me and Mr. Wilson, the math teacher.

"Erica!"

I yelled her name, and she stopped suddenly, then turned around.

"Can we talk Erica? Let me talk to you."

Mr. Wilson tried to hold me back, but I walked right up to Erica. With the gun firmly in the middle of my chest, I looked Erica in the eye.

"You don’t want this Erica. Look at me. I struggle with the same thing every day. I want to wear the skirts to school just like you do, but I know that I can’t. You know you can’t either."

All the time I was talking, my hand was reaching for the gun. Tears ran down Erica’s cheeks as she told me what had happened.

"He beat me senseless Emily. I broke a rib and called me a queer! He told me not to come home again."

I had my hand around the barrel of the gun, and slowly pulled it out of Erica’s hand, then I put it on the floor and kicked it to Mr. Wilson.

"Erica, you’re my friend, and I am not going to let you do this! Lets go see if Mr. Wilson can help."

Erica collapsed on the floor in a puddle of tears, runny makeup and filled with despair.

I helped my friend up, with Mr. Wilson’s on the other side of her, and we took Erica into the principals office.

"Everyone out!"

Mr. Wilson was also the schools counselor, and my position over came any objections. Eve Mantan, the principal started to leave, but he asked her to stay.

"We might need you Eve."

In the office, with the door closed, he sat across from Erica, now cradled in the arms of her best friend, me.

"I heard what you both said Donald. Apparently you two have known about each other for a while. Why didn’t you come and talk to me?"

He got no answer. "We have to call your parents Eric. We can’t just forget about this incident, but if what you said was true, about your Dad breaking a rib, I can promise you that I won’t do it again."

"Um, Mr. Wilson, can we call my Mom instead? Our Mom’s know each other. It might be better."

He looked over at Eve and gave a nod of his head. She dialed the phone. In a quick recap of what happened, I told her we needed her at the school right away, and that if she could bring Rita, it would be better for everybody.

Our two Mothers raced to the school, bursting into the office almost as one. The pistol, ominous with its chrome plating, lay on the desk, empty after Mr. Wilson unloaded it.

"Eric!"

It was almost a shriek as Rita went to her son.

"Please sit down. Let me tell you what I know Mr. Wilson said, then..."Maybe you and ….Emily? can fill in the rest."

Mom related the events that led to Erica and I finding each other.

"They just like to wear girls clothes now and then. It doesn’t hurt anybody, and under our supervision, they had a good chance to work through all of these strange feelings they were having. Both Erica and Rita told us that her Father might go nuts if he found out about Erica, that’s why she borrowed some of Donald’s clothes to go home in."

Rita then told them that her husband had come home slightly drunk, and got onto Eric about my "girl thing", and started to beat him.

"Eric left the house and this is the first time I’ve seen him since."

Mr. Wilson listened carefully to what they told him, then said, "I have to tell you that Donald was brave as hell walking right up to Eric like that. Brave, but stupid. I’m willing to bet that every student in this school now knows that they both like to dress as girls. Between the shouting and the silence, and with Eric dressed as I is, well, they now know. The question is, what do we do now?"

"If everybody knows about me, then I have nothing to lose, so I’ll come to school tomorrow as Emily. That way they’ll know that we aren’t all upset or crazy."

Rita looked at me, knowing that I was about to admit my deepest secret for a friend, and loved me for it. I could see it on her face.

"I have to call the police too Rita. We have allegations of child abuse, weapons in the school, disorderly conduct and heaven knows what else."

Eve sounded like she didn’t really want to call, but her hands were tied. Mom took me home for the rest of the day, while Rita and Eric had to stay behind. That afternoon, Mom took a call from Mr. Wilson.

"I have scheduled an assembly for the entire school, faculty included, for the first thing in the morning. I want Donald to try and explain what happened. If I wants to do it as Emily, that will be okay. You might want to be there as well." Mom said she would.

That night Mom and I talked about what had happened, and what might happen the next morning.

"It’ll be all right Mom. We have two gay couples in the school now, so I’m pretty sure that kids will understand after I explain it to them."

Mom had her doubts, but she was silent as she watched me go into my room to prepare for the next day. No mistakes could be made, or this would fall against Erica and I quickly, so I made sure that my preparation was meticulous. When my body didn’t have one extra hair, I laid out the clothes I would wear the next day, right down to the jewelry.

It was very early when I got up and began to dress. I had chosen a green pleated skirt with a white blouse. I quickly pulled on a pair of panties, then did my makeup and hair. By now, I was quite good at it. My bra, filled with the balloon breastforms gave me just the right shape, just like before. The blouse went on easily, and I let my mind go blank as I buttoned every button. I stepped into the skirt and fastened it up, stepped into the flats, put gold earrings in her ears, then a gold necklace and bracelet, which were all the jewelry I wore. I put the soft rose lipstick on, gave myself a spritz of perfume, then, grabbing my books and purse, went to the kitchen. Mom looked at me, finding no fault.

"Are you sure that you want to do this Emily?"

"I don’t have a choice do I?,.. really? If I tell them about Erica and I, it will be easier than if we let rumors run all over the place. It’s for myself as well as Erica Mom."

She smiled at me, because it seemed that my wisdom exceeded my years by a great deal.

With Mom behind me, I walked into the school without so much as a second glance by the other kids. We went straight to the office, where Eve met us, and invited us into her office.

"We are going to have a psychologist on hand this morning Emily. He will not interrupt. He is just there to see how everybody reacts."

By the way, you look quite lovely! Better than I had imagined as a matter of fact."

Mom and I waited until Mr. Wilson called on the phone and told us to come to the stage. Mom and the principal went in the back way, but I insisted, so as they sat on the stage, I walked right down the main aisle and climbed the stairs to the stage, found my seat, and waited while Mr. Wilson made my announcement.

"Many of you know that we had a terrible incident yesterday. One of your classmates was beaten by his father so badly that he had four broken ribs. In his pain, he came here to kill himself, which failed because one of you loved him enough to prevent it. That student is on this stage. She will speak to you now."

I stood up and walked to the podium, standing beside it, rather than behind it.

"My name is Emily Lynn. Many of you know me as Donald Michael. What you see here is a part of me that I had kept hidden for so long that I could no longer stand it. I like to dress as a girl once in a while. So does Eric. We discovered each other by accident, but in that moment, I knew that I had a friend for life. Yesterday you saw the results of Eric’s… frustration. I myself had a very hard time telling my own family, which I did just recently, but I found love, not hate. Eric found danger, personal danger, which resulted in a beating, and he exploded. But he came here I think, because he knew that I would be here, and knew that I would not hurt him. I heard the snide remarks many of you made about his being dressed as a girl, but most of you have no idea what it’s like to try hide from something, always trying, always failing. Eric is like me. We both like to wear girl’s clothes. I can accept him for the person he is, not what he wears. My hope is that you treat Erica and I the same way. What we wear does not define us, and I for one refuse to accept any other definition."

I turned and walked back to my seat amid the deafening silence of the large auditorium.

Almost as one, the entire assembly stood and applauded. Foot stomping, yelling and clapping went on for 10 minutes before Mr. Wilson could bring order back to the assembly.

"Can we assume that Emily is right? That we accept people for who they are rather than what they wear?"

The stomping and cheering went on for another few minutes, until he finally waved them back to class. I gathered my books, gave Mom and kiss, shook hands with the principal and Mr. Wilson, then went to my first class.

As I walked down the hallway to the classroom, I was completely aware of my new status. With my skirt swaying in rhythm to my stride, the scent of my perfume trailing behind, my tiny breasts bouncing a little with each step I took. I was stopped several times by others and congratulated. Some of the girls ignored me, but surprisingly, many of the guys smiled at me! I sat in my usual seat, next to MaryJo.

"You were really good this morning…Emily. You’ll be all right."

The teacher, Mrs. Bronk, brought it up right away.

"We have witnessed something that has never happened in the history of this school. Can anyone tell me what it is?"

Nobody spoke up, so she said it. "We saw somebody admit that they are not perfect, then she dared us to admit that she was right. Her speech was short, but very very clear. Judge people by who they are not what they wear. Is that right Emily?"

I could do nothing but nod my head.

"Eric thought that you," she waved her hand at the class, "would hate her worse than she hated what she was compelled to do. By the reaction this morning, that’s not true. Maybe we can find a way to tell Eric that."

MaryJo tapped me on the shoulder and asked to see me after class.

I followed MaryJo out. Standing with her was about 10 girls from the class.

"Tell us what we can do Emily. None of us had a clue about you and Eric! Hell, you look better than some of the girls in the school!"

"Thanks MaryJo, but we just have to wait for Eric. We’ll know when we see him again."

The rest of the day was like that. Kids, both guys and gals, told me that they supported me. By the time I got home, I was spent. All of my energy had been used trying to hold my head high, be pleasant, yet humble when I got compliments. Mom saw me briefly as I went to my room. She heard the shower running, and then silence. Checking, she found me in bed, sound asleep! Mom closed the door behind herself as she left, proud that I was able to find the courage to admit my desires, and found a way to help my friend at the same time.

I slept until the next morning. In my nightgown, I wandered to the kitchen for breakfast. Mom had gone to work, so I sat quietly eating, wondering if I should call Eric. The soft ringing of the phone brought me out of my thoughts.

"Hi Emily. This is MaryJo. A bunch of us were going to go see Eric. We would really like you to come too."

"Okay MaryJo. I have to get dressed, come over in an hour, I’ll be ready by then."

I went to my room and took a quick shower, shaving close again. I decided to wear the red plaid skirt again. I got dressed and then sat and did my makeup, using the bare minimum of foundation, powder to matte it, and no eye shadow. I used a green pencil to outline my eyes, a bit of rose blusher, and lipstick. My hair, after being cut, was easy for me to style, so by the time that MaryJo rang the doorbell, I was ready to go. MaryJo had several kids with her, all girls. Carolyn, Kelly, and Jean. Carolyn was tall, with very curly auburn hair and big blue eyes. The guys fell apart whenever she was around. Kelly was a year older than the rest, shorter, and blonde with green eyes and a knock out figure. Jean was average in height, and heavier than the others, but a nice girl.

Walking to Eric’s house, the of us talked about what we would tell him.

"Let MaryJo and I talk to him first. he knows me, and maybe we can find out how he feels before we say something wrong."

All of them agreed to my suggestion. From behind us, anyone would have seen our skirts swaying in unison, no sign that one of us was actually a boy. At Eric’s house, I tentatively knocked on the door, then Rita opened it when she saw who it was.

"Hi Emily. Eric is on the patio. He is still very upset at what happened, maybe you can help him snap out of it."

"I have some friends with me. Maybe they can help too."

Rita pointed at the patio and watched as we filed past her.

Eric wasn’t there, but Erica was, and she looked better than that first time I had seen her. She was wearing a skirt and blouse, beige flats, her hair was styled real nice, and her makeup was much better.

"Morning Erica. We came over to see how you’re doing."

I waved my hand at the other girls. Nobody said anything, waiting for Erica to say, or do something, then she collapsed into my arms, crying, sobbing, shaking, her whole body a mass of nerve endings. MaryJo and I sat her down, one on each side of her.

"Erica" It was MaryJo. "Emily made a speech at school yesterday, and I mean, Emily gave the speech, not Donald."

Erica looked up at MaryJo. "You should have heard her Erica. When she was done, she had everyone standing and applauding. Want to know what she said?" Erica’s eye’s said yes. "She said that we have to accept people for who they are, not what they wear. Mrs. Bronk said that you must have hated your compulsion so much that you thought everyone else would hate you. We’re here to tell you that you are wrong."

I took my friends hand in my own.

"Erica, are you safe here? Dressed like this? I mean, your Dad…."

Erica was squeezing my hand so hard that it almost hurt.

"Dad was… I mean the police came and…."

"He won’t be back." They all turned at the sound of Rita’s voice. "After the… disruption at school, he was arrested and charged with cruelty, assault, and something called mayhem. He won’t be back very soon, if at all."

"Um, we were going to take a walk, maybe Erica would like to come."

Kelly’s soft voice had just the right tone, and we all saw Erica’s eyes light up.

"Maybe we should all fix our makeup first!"

Carolyn was right. All of us had been weeping at Erica’s sadness and fear, and we all needed eye repair. Everyone wiped away the mess with a tissue, and redid their makeup. Everyone except Erica that is. She didn’t have any of her own. That, it turned out, wasn’t a problem, all of the girls whipped out a collection from their purses!

Erica, under the safety net of the five of us, began to feel like she belonged somewhere. Rita had given her $20 just so she wasn’t broke. We walked over to the mall, always urging Erica to be calm. Once we were in the mall, Erica seemed to calm down, and we had great fun looking in the windows. We had stopped at a fast food place for drinks, and were sitting at a table talking, when Jack Daly and some of his friends saw them and came over.

"Hi." He said as he pulled up a chair. "You did a good thing Do… Emily. Myself, you are what you are." He was talking to me, but his eyes never left Erica, then, "You look real nice. If anybody bothers you, tell me and it’ll stop."

With that, Jack and his friends left.

"I think Erica has an admirer!" Giggled Kelly. Then we started teasing erica about it. "Next thing you know he’ll ask you out to the Christmas dance!" By the time we dropped Erica off at home, her self-esteem had soared.

MaryJo walked with me until they reached the corner.

"I think we helped her today Emily. I know that Jack did!"

We hugged, and each of us went home. Mom and I ate in that night, relaxing and not doing much. After church the next day I got a call from Doug Harden. He asked if he could come over and talk for a while, and I said yes, even though I had no idea why. A few hours later, Mom watched as a handsome young man was admitted to the house. He and I went to the patio carrying iced tea.

"Emily, it might seem strange, but I was wondering if you have a date for the dance next week."

My eyes widened when he asked me that!

"Are you asking me to go to the dance Doug?" He nodded his head yes. "If you would go with me, I’d like that."

"Aren’t you worried what people are going to say? I’m a guy just like you are Doug."

"I know that. But you’re my kind of girl. Pretty, smart, gutsy and not afraid of much. Please, let me take you to the dance."

I knew that I would go, how could I not? I said "yes, I’d love to."

His smile told Mom that whatever it was we were talking about, it made both of us very happy. He left shortly afterwards, and Mom, anxious to find out, stood waiting for me to tell her.

"He asked me to the dance next week Mom."

"And?"

"And I said I would be happy to have me as my date! He and I decided that if I attend school as a girl, there was no reason I couldn’t go to the schools biggest dance of the year."

The next day, as I walked into the school, Eric stopped me.

"Jack asked me to go to the dance with him Emily! He called me last night and asked me!"

That’s great Erica! Call me tonight and we’ll talk about it!"

That day was much like any other, most of the kids that had teased me the first day, had finally realized what had happened, or their friends had explained it to them. MaryJo found out that Doug had asked me to the dance, and that Jack had asked Erica.

"It seems that the competition is getting tougher!" She was smiling when she said it, but I knew that she was going with Greg Watson.

"Call me tonight Emily."

Most of the kids left me alone, realizing that I was making a statement by dressing as a girl.

When I walked home that afternoon, MaryJo and I saw television trucks and a mob of people in front of my house.

"Let’s go to my house Emily. You can call your Mom from there and find out what’s going on."

We veered away and headed to MaryJo’s house.

"Mom! What’s going on? I’m at MaryJo’s. We saw the crowd of people and came here instead."

"They want to talk to you. When you saved Eric from doing something stupid, you became a hero. I called Mr. Watson and he said that he would be over, so stay where you are until I call you."

MaryJo and I waited just a short 20 minutes before Mom called back.

"Mr. Watson said to come home, but come in the back way."

MaryJo and I headed out the back door and went through several backyards, opening the back door to the house quietly.

"There you are." It was Mr. Watson, with the Principal. Eve Mantan was standing with him and Mom. "You have to be careful what you say Emily. These TV guys can cut the film and ruin or distort what you say. All of us will be with you, so if you don’t want to answer a question, just say so."

I thought it over, and knew what I had to do, said yes, and almost as one, we stepped out on the front porch.

The questions came fast and furious, some were obnoxious, but most focused on what happened at the school and why.

"I can only say what I told the kids in school. Clothes never hide the real you. What you wear is unimportant, only what kind of person you are is important."

"Is it true that you walked up to this other young man and took the gun out of his hand?"

"He didn’t want to hurt anyone. He was crying for help. I was never in any danger."

A tall dark haired woman in the back asked her ,"What do the other kids in your school think about your…. The way you dress now?"

I started to answer, but MaryJo stepped closer and answered.

"Emily was my friend before she told us about herself, and she is right. The only difference is the dress. She’s the same person she always was." Just as she started to turn away, she added, "Eric was afraid. His Father beat him regularly, his Mother was also afraid of his father, and could not protect Eric. When he told Emily about his… need, he knew, or somehow felt, that he would be safe. What Emily did at the school was brave, but when she stepped out into that corridor, she knew that what Eric needed was a friend, and Eric knew that she accepted him for what he was. I can’t find a way to do any less."

All of the television people knew that they had the scoop of the month! Or they thought they did. From our higher vantage point, MaryJo and I saw about 100 kids come around the corner!

Victor Dalliet, the class President, fought his way through the crowd, then stepped up on the porch and stood next to me.

"My name is Victor Dalliet. My friends and I heard about this cookout you were having and decided to come over. As President of my class I can tell you that we all suffered several shocks in the last few days. In our school we don’t judge people by anything but who they are. Sure, I saw Eric with the gun from a doorway, but failed to do something to help him. But Emily did. Eric is my friend and I don’t want anything to happen to him, but Emily was the one to not just talk, but to stand there with that gun in her chest and tell Eric that she was his friend, and that she cared about him. I wish I was that brave. We," he waved his hand at the assembled kids, "are here to support Emily and Eric. Whatever the outcome is, we are here to tell you that bigotry is not going to be accepted in our school, now, or ever."

A rousing cheer went up from the kids as he stepped off of the porch.

His friend Carl Petra said "I guess those debate classes really work Vic, you sounded great!"

The media had more than they needed and left MaryJo and I standing among the assembled students smiling.

"Thanks Vic. That was a wonderful speech you gave."

I leaned over and gave him a hug, as did MaryJo. Once we were back in the house, Mom had her arm around me when Mr. Watson and Eve Mantan came over.

"With all of the support you got from the other kids, I can’t imagine any problems if you finished school as Emily. In fact, it might be better. After the school break we’ll know better what the public’s reaction will be."

Ms. Mantan’s words were just what I needed, and wanted to hear! MaryJo went home on the arm of Victor, Mr. Watson and Ms. Mantan left shortly after that.

"I never, in my wildest imagination would have guessed that this would be the result of a trip to the mall Emily! Let’s start dinner and then watch the news."

The news ran the piece of course, and they were very supportive of myself. My actions at the school and the way the kids stood behind her were the story, not the fact that I wore clothes of the opposite sex. The phone rang all evening as both kids, friends, and some parents, called to congratulate me! Amid all of that, we also got some crank calls, but it was a smiling young lady that went to bed that night. Doug called the next day, wondering if he and Jack Daly could come over, and by the way, could she arrange for Erica to be there. I called Erica, and she agreed to come over.

"I wonder why Doug and Jack want to see us together Mom."

"Maybe they’re just nervous after all of the publicity. You’ll just have to wait and see."

Erica came over at one, dressed in a very nice green and white checked sun dress. Her hair had been cut and styled, which made her look so much better. Her smile said it all. Right behind her was Rita.

"I thought I might come along so that I could talk to your Mother."

I showed them in, Mom and Rita retreating to the den, while Erica and I went to the patio.

"My Mom took me to her beautyshop yesterday and I had my hair cut! Like it?"

"It’s very nice Erica. I knew that something was different. You look great!"

Just then Mom escorted Jack and Doug out to the patio.

"Hi. Sit down."

As they sat, Jack asked Erica what she had done to look so good, which made her smile even more.

"I had my hair styled."

"Looks great Erica."

"Emily," it was Doug, " "My parents had a heart attack about our going to the dance, but after they saw you on the television, and Vic’s speech, they changed their minds. They had a hard time believing that your not really a… well, you know. They want to meet you."

"Of course. When?"

"Well, Jack and I wanted to take you both over to Benny’s this afternoon, for a coke or something, so maybe we can stop by my house."

"We have to ask first, but I’m sure it will be all right."

Erica, following my lead, went after me, into the house to find our Mothers. We told them what the guys wanted, and why.

Mom said, "If they give you any trouble you leave. Find a phone and I’ll come and get you."

We said they would, and the four of us left in Jack’s car.

Doug lived in a fashionable part of town, his house similar to an old plantation manor in appearance. We walked around the house to the pool area. Both Jack and Doug’s parents were there. The boys made the introductions, and I noted that Doug’s Mom looked me over from head to toe before she asked us to sit down.

"I know that you’re wondering why I asked you both to come over, and I want to assure you that it has nothing at all to do with your… choices. We just wanted to meet you."

Erica was starting to fidget in her seat under the eagle eye of Jack’s Mother. She wanted to leave, but before she could do anything, I said, "We also wanted to meet you Ma’am."

"You are quite famous around here Emily. With the television and papers reporting all about you. Does that bother you?"

Sitting primly on the edge of my chair, I answered "No, as a mater of fact I didn’t want this at all. But after what happened in the school, and when Erica was in…. distress, I had to do something. It kind of snowballed after that. Mr. Wilson asked me to attend school as Emily so that the other kids could judge for themselves about Erica and I. From there, well, Doug asked me to go to the dance and I accepted. If that bothers you, I’ll go with one of the other guys that asked me."

Doug’s Dad smiled broadly and started to laugh. "Looks like she called your bluff Marion!"

Doug’s Mom smiled at me, stood, and walked over to take my hands in hers.

"I wanted to see if you had the strength of character that you seemed to have in television, and it seems you do. You kids have a nice time at the dance, but stop here so we can get some pictures."

Erica and I both seemed to have a great weight taken off our shoulders. The boys took us by the hand, stood and told the parents they would be back later.

Jack drove not towards Benny’s, but the park. Jack put his arm around Erica and she snuggled close to him, while Doug pulled me close to him. At the park we walked to the waters edge, then Jack took Erica to the swings while Doug and I sat under a shady tree. Without any warning, he kissed me, right on the lips! I had never kissed anyone before, but I knew that I had just crossed some imaginary line. Doug kissed me again, then I returned it. I felt his hand on my stomach as I put my arms around his neck. I had a lot of new sensations running through me right then, and wanting to sort them out, I got up and ran towards another tree.

Jack was pushing Erica on the swings, her smile telling me she was enjoying it. All of a sudden, he stopped the swing, and she fell into his arms. I watched as he held her tight, then kissed her. Erica found herself unable to resist his advances as he kissed her. Jack pulled her even closer, holding her arms at her side, watching as she grinned at him. It was almost an hour before the four of us met again. The guys took us home around 7 that night, both Erica and I holding the afternoon dear, our Mona Lisa smiles telling our Mothers that something had happened that afternoon. Neither of them asked us what happened. The following week Mom signed the papers on the new house, Claire stopping by to give me a nod of assurance. Quentin called and started to berate Mom for lying about her ‘daughter’, then she told him to jump in the lake!

"She is as much my daughter as if she had been born a girl! If you can’t handle that, well just don’t call again!" She slammed the phone down and glowered at the television until she calmed down.

I went to school every day, and on Saturday, unknown to me, Mom had made an appointment for me to have my hair and nails done for the dance. They did my hair in a French twist with tendrils of curled hair at the sides, while my nails had been made longer with acrylics and painted in a fire engine red. The dance was going to start at 7:30, Doug was going to pick me up at 6, so I started to get ready at 3:30 in the afternoon. I started with the smelly cream, removing all traces of hair, then I sat in a bubble bath soaking until my skin was soft and silky smooth. Then I shaved as close as possible, leaving my face as smooth as the rest of my body. In my room, I pulled on my only pair of satin panties, the black ones with a lace trim at the legs. Sitting on the bed I pulled on the pantyhose, making sure they were straight and tight. At my vanity, I started with the blended cream makeup I had bought, smoothing it out with two fingers hiding any trace of a beard. Then I used a translucent powder to give my skin a matte look. Using gray and rose, I did my eyeshadow, blending one color with the other to erase any line. Then I used deep black eyeliner on both the upper and lower eyelids, mascara made my lashes long and lush. I hollered for Mom to come in, then she took the corset and fastened it around me while I held my arms in the air. Mom tugged the laces tight, and when I let my arms down, the magic had occurred again. I had breasts! I slipped the small breast enhancers under my own skin, and saw that I now had enough natural cleavage to look great in the dress. Mom helped me as I slipped the black dress over my head, zipping the dress closed when I had it on. The black taffeta slip rustled at every step, and I loved it. A simple gold necklace with a black and gold pendant hung that hung above, and centered, between my pert breasts. I stepped into the shoes, which were black patent leather with black and gold clasps on the toes. Mom handed me two rings, which I slipped on my fingers. My earrings were also black and gold, matching the necklace. I had a tube of bright red lipstick, which I carefully put on, outlining my bright white teeth in a bow shape. A bit of coral blusher, then a dab of perfume, and I was ready to go. I took the black purse, which contained $10, a brush, some tissue, my house key, and walked down the stairs.

Doug was there, waiting. I watched him as he took one look at my trim figure, the way the dress fit me, and the gentle swell of my obvious breasts, and saw him fall right in love! Both Mom and Claire both took pictures of us as we stood there smiling. I was experiencing so many feminine emotions all at once that I never felt more like a girl. Doug took my hand and led the way to the car. At his house, the way I looked caused his Mom to reevaluate me. As a woman, she knew real breasts when she saw them, and I was definitely showing enough real breast to make anyone believe that I was actually a girl. His Dad didn’t say much, but I saw the way he looked at me, and knew that he thought his son had made an unusual, but right, choice for date. Later, at the dance, we were greeted by our friends, some of whom were Doug’s, some mine, and a few who were against me from the first moment. Dave Wesin was one of those.

"Still dating guys heh Doug?"

Doug, who wasn’t afraid of Dave in the least, looked me in the eye.

"Does she look like a guy to you?"

Dave had been looking at me from the first moment we came in, and grudgingly admitted that, no, I didn’t look like a guy in any way. Dave’s date, Michelle grabbed his arm and dragged him away. Doug and I found seats with MaryJo and Greg.

The music had started, but just as couples started to dance, Erica and Jack walked in. He was wearing a light gray tuxedo, and she was wearing a white sheath style dress that shimmered in the soft lighting. The dress clung to her figure accenting a trim waist and highlighting her pert breasts. Perched on rhinestone-covered heels, her smile wide, her hair in a soft pageboy, she seemed to glide across the floor to greet Doug and I. Every eye was on her as Jack held her arm when they walked in. On closer inspection, MaryJo and I could see that the dress was opaque.

It was a wonderful party, all of the girls beautiful in their special dresses, but Erica and I seemed to stand out. Our smiles said it all. I expected it, and I wasn’t surprised when Doug stopped the car in a secluded spot, deep in the park. He took me into his arms, and I didn’t resist at all. It took only a few minutes before both of us had raging hormones, and many newly discovered desires. I knew that I was a boy, but I couldn’t help myself. When Doug placed my hand on his member, I began to gently stroke him. He fondled my breasts, kissed my neck and ears, driving me crazy. But when he unzipped his pants, I knew that it was time to call a halt.

"Please!" "I… can’t! Not yet Doug. Please."

The sound in my voice told him that I was as scared, or excited, as he was. It was almost 4 in the morning before he dropped me off at home, and it was a very excited young lady that went to bed that night. I was unsure of my sexuality, but knew that I wanted Doug more than anything that night. Tossing and turning punctuated the night as I struggled with my very feminine desires.

At noon, Mom came in and woke me up.

"Have a good time last night Emily?"

She was surprised when I grabbed her by the neck and started to cry.

"What’s the matter Emily?"

Through my sobs and tears, I told Mom what I felt, and why.

"I was that close" I held two fingers close together, "to letting him… doing… what I could for him Mother!"

"I see. Maybe the little girl I unleashed has become a woman. You know what’s right and what’s wrong Emily. I let you discover yourself, and you found a woman inside. Doug is a handsome young man and you are a pretty young woman. Does it surprise you that I tried to make love to you? I know I wasn’t. Get dressed and come downstairs and eat something and we’ll talk about it."

In shorts and a simple top I came into the kitchen. Over coffee, Mom gave me the talk about the birds and the bees.

"Now I know that you can’t get pregnant, but you can get sick. Besides, no matter what, you are a male. A very pretty male I agree, but a male none the less. When you turn 18 maybe we can change that, but for now, you are going to have to be the same Emily you have been for the last few months."

The phone rang, and I answered it. Mom saw my face go ashen and rushed to the phone just as I dropped it. Erica’s Dad had been released, a Christmas release, had gotten drunk, gone home, and shot Rita while looking for Erica. The police had the house surrounded. Mom hung up the phone and instantly it rang again. It was Jack’s Dad.

"Erica is here with us. The kids came in so late that Jennifer made her sleep here last night. She’s fine, but if Emily could come over it would help a lot."

"Can you put Erica on please?"

There was a slight pause and Erica answered. "Do you have any clothes other than what you wore last night Erica?"

"No!"

"Emily and I are on our way over, we’ll bring you some clothes to change into."

Mom and I gathered up a skirt and blouse, some makeup, a brush, and some flats, then I stopped to call Doug and asked him to call MaryJo and meet us at Jack’s.

We rushed over, met at the door by Jennifer, Jack’s Mom.

"She’s upstairs dear. Go and help her change and then come back down."

I ran up the stairs, and found Erica on her bed crying.

"You have to change Erica. After that we can drive to your house and find out what is happening."

Erica smiled at the sound of a friend’s voice, took the offered clothes and makeup. 30 minutes later she walked into the kitchen. Jack went to her side and held her close. Doug and MaryJo were there.

"I’ll drive, Erica, you come with me."

Jack’s Dad took charge and gave instructions to everyone. In the car he carefully told us what to do.

"I’m an attorney. Let me talk to the police and see exactly what has happened. Stay in the car and do not come out until and unless I tell you personally, no matter what happens."

There were nods all around, but he looked directly at Erica. "Understand Erica?"

"Yes sir." She said meekly.

Everyone watched as Larry walked over to the police command post.

"I have his son with me captain. How is his mother?"

The captain knew Larry Daly quite well. my reputation as an attorney was one of honesty and fairness.

"As far as we know she’s still alive, but her husband keeps taking pot shots at us from the window up there."

As Larry looked around I saw two snipers on the roof of another building.

The captain, sensing his dismay, said, "We don’t plan to shoot unless he tries to kill one of my men." he waited a moment then added, "We have to worry about the woman too, so we don’t have the luxury of time here."

Larry nodded my understanding. Just then a flurry of shots rang out and bullets splattered the ground, hitting the barricades and a couple of police cars. As everyone ducked, both the captain and Larry heard the radio squawk.

"He now has a scope equipped rifle. He’s aiming again!"

Just then very accurate gunfire erupted from the house, and we both heard the groan of a policeman as he hit the ground, a bullet in his chest.

"Take him!" Two shots rang out and then silence.

"The target has been relieved."

It was short, but then the snipers were noted for their terseness. Emt’s came to attend to the police officer that had been shot while the police stormed the house. When Erica saw them running, she knew that it was over, only she just didn’t know how it had been resolved.

Larry stood with Erica as the medic’s took Rita away on a blood soaked stretcher, but Rita managed a smile and Erica collapsed from the sight of her mother covered in blood. The coroner brought out her father’s body wrapped in a black body bag. Mom took Erica by the hand and led her away from the scene.

"Let’s go to the hospital Erica and check on your mother."

Mom had ridden to the scene with me, in Jack’s car, so he tossed her the keys.

Fortunately it looked worse than it was, Rita had been shot at close range with a .32 pistol that had low powered rounds for use inside the house. She had been shot in the chest, but the bullet had hit a rib and followed it around to the back making an ugly wound, which bled a lot and hurt like hell, but there was no lasting damage. Erica ran to her bedside as soon as possible, holding her hand until she woke. "Hi baby." Rita’s first words were a little groggy, but Erica collapsed in relief anyway. Mom came in and took Erica away.

"She needs to rest Erica. Let’s go home. You can see her again tomorrow."

We put her in Claire’s old room and she went into a deep sleep almost immediately.

Larry and Jack came over later, and with Jack holding Erica tightly, we listened as Larry told us what the police thought happened.

"They did a blood alcohol test on his body. It was more than three times the legal limit for declaring someone drunk. He fired a total of 23 rounds out of three different guns. The policeman he shot was wearing a bulletproof vest so he’s all right, just very sore. The captain told me the matter of how you had started to dress was not the issue. It was your mother’s sudden unwillingness to tolerate his moods when he was drunk that started it."

Mom and Larry went in the den so that Jack and I could work out the sudden changes with Erica, and her feelings about them.

"You can stay here with us Erica. When they release your Mom, I’m pretty sure that my mother will insist that she stay here too until she can get around better."

We heard the doorbell and I went to answer it. It was MaryJo and Carolyn.

"We just had to stop by and see how Erica is."

"Come in, she’s in the kitchen."

Jack was left out as the girls surrounded Erica and hugged and told her she had a lot of friends and not to worry.

Rita was released from the hospital a week later, sore, but mobile. She and Erica shared Claire’s old bedroom, and Erica and I became like sisters as we shared so many new things. Mom and Rita also grew closer together as they watched Erica and I become young ladies. MaryJo and Carolyn became closer, our newest girlfriends. The four of us were almost never seen apart after that, unless Doug or Jack called.

By the time school had started in the fall, I had been living as a girl for almost 6 months, and there was no way I was going to change now. Erica and I had braced ourselves for an argument from the school, but both of us were enrolled in their new status as girls. Of course, we found ourselves taking home economics and other classes specifically designed for girls. Ms. Mantan exempted us from gym classes of course, but we had no other restrictions on us. All we had to do was follow the dress code for girls and behave like girls. Only once did I have any trouble. Dave Wesin had shoved me against the lockers, and started to tear at my clothes, yelling that I wasn’t a girl. That lasted almost a whole minute before Doug and Jack tore him away from me and pummeled him to the floor.

"I told you before asshole, leave her alone or else!"

He checked to make sure I was okay, then walked me to the home economics classroom so I could repair my blouse.

Erica took a job after school and started on hormones soon after that and with a few months she had the figure of a girl her own age. She had a knock out 36B-24-36 figure, and Jack was in love with her, which she knew. She also made sure that Jack never looked elsewhere for a girl. I also started on hormones, but my bodies response to the drug was different, and took a little longer for me to develop. By Christmas that year I only had a 34A bust, 23 waist, and 35 hips measurements, but it was enough for me. Doug had developed a love for me I did not think possible, and his parents had accepted me like a daughter, especially after his mother chanced to see that I had my own bust. Mom and Claire watched as I grew up to become a stronger person, and a credit to the human race. Because I had been so out spoken about what had happened to Erica, many of the Transgendered organizations around the country asked her to speak, and by the time she was ready to graduate from high school, I had become a recognized spokesperson for the much of our community. Erica was also there, a reflection of the many real and imagined fears so many like her held. We were also a symbol of what can happen if you are caring and open about yourself.

Two lives, one filled with caring people that made an effort to understand, people that loved without regard to the outer shell we wear, the other filled with hate and disgust, anger and fear, death and despair. Erica and I hold each end of the stick, yet we both managed to find health and happiness.

When I was 21, right on my birthday, I was operated on, and within a few months, married Doug.

Erica and Jack were killed when Dave Wesin saw them together and went crazy. In his crazed anger at erica and I, and the fear of someone different, he pulled a gun and shot them both. Realizing what he had done, he killed himself with the same gun.

It was a tragic end to a promising young couple that over-come so much, and traveled so far. Erica is gone, but her memory lives on in each of us, whenever we fear the unknown, the terror that creeps up on us in the night and strangles us in a web of uncertainty when the girl inside wants out.

 

© 2000

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