Early Days                by: Angela Eastwood

 

Hi my name is Paul. I’m 45years old and a cross dresser. I told my wife a year ago and we are closer now than ever. She isn’t keen on my dressing but she gives me time and quite often she comes shopping with me and we buy clothes, makeup and jewellery. I have never been out while dressed and because of my wife’s wishes I don’t shave my body. She wants a man - hairy, strong and masculine. She just can’t fancy another woman. I agree with her even though I would really like to shave and go out shopping as a woman. I somehow doubt I’d be very convincing but I’d do it. I tried to imagine how I’d feel if she came home looking and acting like a man. It puts things into perspective.

I’ve always been a cross dresser but it’s only lately that I’ve finally learned to enjoy it and be happy in myself. This true story is about one shopping trip where I went a little further than usual. That isn’t very far…but it was a first for me.

I had been gradually getting used to buying women’s clothes in normal shops. By that I mean I became bolder and learned that people didn’t seem to care. I was more embarrassed than they were. Nobody ever gave me any hassle when I shopped and the more I did it, the more confident I became. I shop in a town 20 miles away from home where I am unlikely to meet anyone who knows me. I now have the courage to go into "womens" shops and buy clothes for myself. I’m still a little embarrassed but I just do it!

On one of my trips I visited a charity shop where they were having a bridal promotion. The promotion was set out upstairs and I went in to see if they had a wedding dress in size 14. They did have just one, but I didn’t like it at all. While looking around, I noticed an exquisite pink bridesmaid dress. The dress was a full length, slim satin column, that flared out at the bottom where it was held out by netting. The sleeves were elbow length and bunched at the top of the shoulders like a ‘bubble’. It was perfect and I wanted it. The problem was, it was size 12. The sales assistants didn’t seem to be bothered by me looking for a wedding dress but I didn’t want to risk buying the pink dress and then finding I couldn’t get into it. It seemed to be slim and tight fitting. The shop was quite busy and I didn’t feel I could ask to try it on. Reluctantly I left the shop and carried on shopping elsewhere.

The bridesmaid dress was on my mind. A week later I had a free Monday and I decided to go back to the charity shop. I thought Monday would be quiet and there would be few other shoppers about. I put on my white lingerie and stockings under my male clothes and went into town early just as the shops were opening. It was very quiet and entering the shop I went straight upstairs. A young sales assistant followed me, probably wondering what I was doing going up to the bridal floor. Luckily there was no one else there. From somewhere I got the nerve to ask her if I could try the dress on. She didn’t make a murmur and showed me to the changing rooms. Luckily we were still on our own. I carried the dress into the changin area and went into one of the cubicles. I drew the curtain closed. My heart was pounding as I stripped off my male clothes and tried on the long satin dress. I was praying it would zip up! It was beating even stronger when I found the dress fit. I looked in the full length mirror and I was entranced. I had to ignore my face and hair but the dress and the way it felt were wonderfull.

I took the dress off, put my clothes back on and went out of the changing rooms with it. I thanked the assistant, paid and left the shop. I hope I didn’t freak her out too much. I guess she must have seen men shopping there before. I could hardly wait to get home and try the dress on properly wearing my heels, wig and makeup.

By the time I got home I still had most of the day free to get ready and try on the dress. I hung it over the door frame and settled down to getting ready. I enjoy this part of dressing and like to take my time and savour the feelings, smells and tastes. I kept looking at the dress and thinking soon I would wear it properly but I didn’t rush. I finally took the dress off the hanger and stepped into it. I pulled the zip up at the back and twirled around in front of the bedroom mirror. It was sensational. I felt I had taken a risk and been rewarded. The dress hugged my body and held me in its embrace. I’d love to wear it to a real wedding.

 

I often think of that trip fondly. In my imagination I think of what I might have done and how brave I might have been. This story is true but in future I’ll let my imagination have a freer reign. Hope you liked it.

Angela

 

 

 

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