Do Over

by Tanya Lynn

 

In retrospect, I admit that I was acting like a child, but I was pissed. I was getting tired of not knowing what was going on. I heard my dad pull into the driveway, but stayed in my room and sulked for now. I heard my dad come up the stairs, and then he knocked on my door. I finally said, "come in", and he did. I don't know what I expected, but he said, "get your butt downstairs right now, young lady. You are being treated as a mature young woman, but if you insist on acting this way, you won't like the results". I gave him a shocked look and went downstairs as he followed.

My mom was sitting in the den and motioned me to a chair. I sat down, and he said, "sometimes we keep secrets so that we can surprise you in a nice way. This was going to wait, but I do understand your concern to some degree, so here it is". He handed me a brochure for a camp. At first, it looked like a girl's summer camp, but then I saw what it was. I had read about one of these in another TG story. It was a camp for boys who wanted to be girls, or was being given petticoat punishment. I burst into tears as I realized what this meant. Mom held me and said, "after a month there, you will know if you want to be a girl or not. If you do, we will go from there. If not, you can give it up altogether or be like Scott and do it when you want. Whatever you decide, we will support you. You go a week after school is over. And, if you go on the website, you will find a pleasant surprise when you look in the counselor's section". I hugged them both and ran up to my computer to get on the website.

I looked at the beautiful pictures- it was in the mountains, and had a lake. I loved the outdoors and could tell this would be heaven. The cabins had four people per cabin. I turned to the counselor's section as I saw a picture I knew- it was Scott, as Sonia! I thought it would be too much to hope for to have him for a counselor. But, you never know. I changed into a nightgown and lay down and went to sleep dreaming of the camp.

In the morning, I got up ahead of everyone else and made breakfast. I even put on one of mom's frilly aprons over my nightgown. The smells woke up my parents and they came down and smiled to see me so happy. I put it on the table and I gushed about the camp as we ate. I cleaned up after we ate and went up to study for finals. Although I was very smart, my grades had been low due to my hiding who I was and the stress. Now that I could be me, I was determined to score high on all of my finals and make my parents proud. Mom brought me a sandwich for lunch, but I barely thanked her, I was studying so hard. Then, she came in and said, "its time to get ready for the slumber party. You better get dressed". I showered and put on a T-shirt and shorts over my bra and panties, and some sandals, and grabbed my bag. We went out to the car and drove to Scott's house. I was the first to arrive. He greeted me at the door as Sonia, and took me to their huge den and said, "this room is ours for the night. The others should be here shortly". I asked her, "I don't suppose that you'll be my counselor at camp. I couldn't be that lucky". She said, "of course I will. Why would you be surprised that we can get certain people as our counselees on request? It is part of making you more comfortable". I smiled at that.

Just then, the doorbell rang. She grabbed my hand to go answer the door. I was afraid of what I would find. A girl of about 17 stood there, quite large, but still beautiful. I was stunned to recognize one of the defensive backs on our football team. She smiled and said, "hi! You must be Tanya, my name is Nicole. Welcome to our club. You are the first member to want to be a girl for keeps, but we will help you all we can". As the others arrived, I was stunned to meet Carol, Donna, and Brenda, who were the student council treasurer, a member of the chess club, and a part of the Goth crowd, respectively. They admitted that we were an unlikely bunch to be together as boys, but all shared this in common. They had all been through petticoat punishment. That's how they met. Now, they would all be at the camp, Brenda and Nicole as counselors, and Carol and Donna in the same cabin as me. This was going to be so much fun! They did my nails, and we talked into the early morning. We woke up and promised to help each other through the last week of school.

I went home to finish studying for school. It was hard, given all that happened, but I had saved the one subject I loved the most for last. I loved history, and it was the one class I excelled in. I went over all of the stuff for the final on Sunday, and late that afternoon, my mom came in and said, "your dad is taking us for dinner. Don't worry, it's that new Italian restaurant in the next town, so no one will recognize you. Get dressed up, though". I got out a fresh bra and pair of panties, and shaved off stray hairs. I took a shower and washed my hair. I got out and put on the panties and bra, and then a full slip. I put on a little makeup- just enough to look feminine, and then pulled on a pair of nude panty hose and put on the dress. I checked my makeup and went downstairs. My parents both told me how pretty I was. We got in the car, and went to the restaurant. The food was delicious, but I had to remember to take small bites. As we drove home, I knew after a wonderful weekend, I had to go back to school for one more week. After the weekend I had just had, I hated it.

The week actually went fast. I stayed home in the evening, studying for the next day's finals. The only thing that happened of note was I saw Brandon and Nick shoving each other in the lunchroom. I called Nicole that night, and asked what was up. She said, "come on, you know, football players and Goths hate each other. We have to keep the appearances up. We never hurt each other". I admired their inventiveness. On Friday, all of the students went through the thing of yearbook signing. We girls waited until after school to sign each other's, so we could leave secret messages for each other as well.

When I got home, I immediately changed and started packing away all of my boy's clothes. I knew this was the real beginning for me. I didn't know what the summer would hold for me, but I was ready to take a shot at it. I was barely started when Tammy called and said, "are you ready to go hang out"? I realized I hadn't told the others about her, so I called them all and it turned out that Nicole and Donna had time to go. They came over and met Tammy, and were delighted to have her as a friend. We all went to the mall and no one could tell that we weren't just four girls out for some fun. We went to a movie and then to eat. We told Tammy about the camp, and she said, "I wish I could go along to help everyone. It would be so much fun". Nicole said, "at 14, you're younger than most counselors, but we do have some real girls along to help and to give perspective. Let me check, and I'll get back to you". We went home, planning another slumber party for the next night. We invited Tammy this time, who said yes after checking with her mom.

The week went quickly by. The last night before we went to the camp, we had the sleepover at my house, since my parents were driving us all to the camp. We were all in the basement den with our bags piled into a corner. I went up to get more food, and saw dad sitting there with tears in his eyes. I hugged him and said, "what's wrong Daddy"? he said, "I never thought I would have a bunch of girls in my basement like this, but its ok. I feel like my brother is smiling down from Heaven on us right now. maybe this has redeemed me for not helping him more". I realized I had never been to his grave and said, "when we get back, could you take me to visit his grave? I think I would like to go there". This made him smile, and he wiped his tears and said, "of course, honey. I would like that, and I know somehow so would he".

I went back down with the food and we spent the rest of the evening laughing and giggling and talking about boys. Nicole said, "I will always love to dress, but I am definitely heterosexual". I started to notice how close Carol and Brenda were, though. I realized that although I had never thought about it, I didn't really care. I wasn't even really sure of my sexuality as it was. Donna said, "I'm the same as Nicole. I hope we both can find girls who wont mind our hobby and will maybe even like helping us". Sonia looked at me and said, "and what about you Tanya? I personally don't much care, as long as it's a girl who loves me for who I am". I suddenly found myself tongue-tied as I realized that I knew. I found Sonia very attractive, especially as Scott. I probably always had, but had never realized it, especially since we were friends. I finally said, "I don't need the camp or a shrink to tell me that I'm a girl. I already signed up online to see the shrink they have at the camp to start the process. I know if I find the right guy, I will marry him. And, if he is a cross-dresser or whatever, I would be even more understanding". I knew that that was a hint so blatant that the whole room got it. Sonia said, "I think we need to have a talk", and smiled. We walked over to the corner and sat down. She said, "how long have you felt this way about me"? I said, "I just realized it. I guess I always cared about you as friends do, but this is different". I said, "if you kiss me, does that make us lesbians"? she said, "I don't think so, since I'm a boy who likes to dress up, and you're a girl in a boy's body for now". she leaned over and kissed me.

To be continued

  

  

  

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