Do Over

by Tanya Lynn

 

As we arrived at Tammy's house, I had forgotten all about my happiness. I was scared, now that I had been seen dressed by a friend from school. My mom and Tammy and her family tried to reassure me, but I thought that the life I had started over was finished before it began. As we rode home, I felt like I would be facing the executioner the next day. At home, my dad tried to calm my fears, but it didn't help. I changed into a nightgown and lay down, but couldn't sleep. I heard the phone ring, and my mom answered it. I could hear her talking to someone, and then she came into the room, but I pretended to be asleep. I couldn't talk to her. I lay awake long after my mom and dad went to sleep. At around 12am, I finally got up and went in to talk to them. I woke them up and said, "what do I do now? My life might as well be over. You have to send me to a different school or something". I can't face it when he tells everyone". My mom said, honey, you need to trust that it's going to all work out. You can't run away from the problem". I said, "I've heard stories about what happens to kids like me when they're found out. It's only on the fiction stories where it all has a happy ending. Don't you care about what will happen"?

I stormed out of their room and went to mine. Again, I thought of running away, like I had thought before. With my cash card and bank account, I could get a long way. I grabbed my backpack and stuffed it with a mix of boys and girls clothes and tied a sleeping bag to the frame. I slipped out the backdoor and walked the mile to the highway. I had on boy's clothes, but shortly after I stuck my thumb out, I got a ride from a lady who thought I was a girl. She didn't get too mad when she figured it out, and took me to the interstate. I had decided to head to California, where I heard they had more tolerance for people like me. I had swiped an atlas from the house, and looked at the highways. I headed to the entrance ramp and again stuck out my thumb. Even after dawn, I wasn't having any luck with getting a ride. Then, I remembered the ride from the woman. I walked from the ramp to a nearby gas station. I bought a cup of coffee and asked to use the bathroom. The attendant gave me the key and I went in. I pulled a pink T-shirt and girl's shorts out of my pack, along with a bra and a pair of panties and changed. When I came out, the clerk gave me a really weird look, as if he wasn't sure who had gone in, but didn't say anything. I headed out again. It worked as well as I hoped. I got a ride right away from a guy saying he was heading for Arizona. He put on some music and after we talked for a while, I couldn't keep my eyes open. I fell asleep after a while and I don't know how long I was out, but I woke up and found he had pulled over. He was outside of the car taking a leak. He stopped at the trunk and got something out and got back into the car. I suddenly realized how much bigger than me he was. He said, "you know, it's a long way to Arizona, and I will have to stop and sleep. If you treat me right, you won't have to worry about anything". He then put his hand on my leg. I tried to grab it and pull it off, but he brought around his other hand with a pair of handcuffs in it and slapped one on one wrist. I tried to get away but he slammed my face against the door. He then grabbed my other wrist and cuffed them behind me. He then grabbed me by the hair and forced my face towards his lap and said, "bitch, you're going to blow me now and then I'll fuck you hard". He then unzipped himself and pulled out his cock. He was forcing my mouth down on it when I suddenly woke up back in my room.

I had a feeling that I had been here before. I looked around the room to see if she was there, and there she was- me as an older woman. I looked as good as I did last time. She said, "haven't you learned to have a little faith yet? You are set on this path to arrive where I am today. I am happier than you can now imagine. Have faith". I began to cry as I thought of where I might have wound up. She came over and stroked my hair until I fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning and again, I didn't tell my parents about her. I'm not sure why, except that I thought they might lock me up if I did. It sounded crazy to me, in the light of day. I got dressed for school feeling like I was going to my own execution. My mom and dad tried to be encouraging, but knew I had to deal with it. I got on the bus and sat down next to Tammy. She said, "maybe he didn't recognize you. You have to hope that it might still work out. Don't assume the worst". At least Scott, the boy, didn't ride the same bus. I got to school and got off the bus. I expected to see everyone pointing at me and laughing or something, but things were normal. I said hi to several people and decided to just go inside. I had almost gotten to the door when I saw him waiting for me. I thought, "here it comes. I'm finished at this school. I should have run when I could". Instead of mocking me, he said, "I think we really need to talk. Can I come over after school"? I said, "you saw, huh"? He said, "yes, I did. But, I'm not going to freak out. I have a reason not to". I pulled out my cell phone and called home. I told my mom what had happened and asked if he could come over. She said, "yes, and we can give him a ride home tonight. Ask him if he has checked with his mom". Scott said, "yes, she knows". I looked at him and said, "you already told her? How could you! You don't even know what's going on"! He said, "I know more than you could imagine. Just bear with me and trust me until later. You'll see".

I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day. Why did I always feel as if things were out of my control around me? I got on the bus and sat with Tammy, and Scott sat behind us. We all got off at my house and went in. My mom said, "why don't you go up and get changed. I'll get your guests some drinks". I went up and decided to go for it. I stripped down and pulled on a pair of panties and a bra. I put on some light makeup, and then my jumper. I brushed my hair out, and put on a pair of clip on earrings mom had given me. I went down to face Scott and my future. His reaction wasn't quite what I expected. He looked up from some pictures he had been showing mom and Tammy and looked shocked. He said, "you're even prettier than the glimpse I got of you in the car". I actually blushed and said, "thank you. But why are you so open-minded about this? I figured you would freak out and ruin me at school". He said, "do you think you're the only one with secrets? That's why I brought these pictures- I finally have someone to share with myself". I went and sat on the couch next to him to look and was shocked at what I saw. The earliest was of him at about 8, but he was wearing a little girl's dress and ruffled panties over a diaper. He was crying in the picture. He said, "I was a real terror as a child. I was on a path to destruction from day 1. Then, my mom heard of petticoat punishment. Do you know what it is"? I said, "I've read about it in TG fiction on the web. I feel so sorry for you! I do this by choice, but to be forced to- that's horrible". He said, "wait, you'll see what happens". As time passed in the pictures, his appearance got better and clothes got more normal. The last picture couldn't have been taken more than a month or so ago. He looked totally like a girl, and was obviously happy. He said, "I don't want to become a girl or anything, but I do enjoy being one sometimes on the weekends. How about you"? The whole story came gushing out of me. He didn't freak when I told him I was a girl on the inside, he was supportive. He took my hand and told me I had nothing to fear, and a new friend to share my secret with. Besides, he wasn't the only one. There were a few others at school. They suspected me when they thought they saw me wearing panties a few times, but never let on. He told me that I would find out who they were if I wanted to come to a sleepover tomorrow night! I asked my mom, and she said, "of course, honey-this is the best thing that could happen to you. We had already discussed it while you were changing". I said, "I know we thought I wouldn't be ready to go out yet, but I need a new nightgown for this- please"? She said, "alright, since you'll have a couple of friends along for support, yes. We can go to Wal-Mart right now".

We ran out to the car and got in and took off. Once I was actually going, I got scared and said, "I changed my mind- I can't do this". They all told me I could and eventually I settled back down. It turned out the store was too crowded for anyone to pay attention to me. I picked out a baby doll nightgown with matching panties, but my mom gave me a look. I said, "but mom, its just gonna be us girls there, and I've always dreamed of wearing one of these since I saw one in a catalog". She finally let me get it, and since I could try them on, I bought several more outfits, including some shorts and T-shirts. I got another package of panties and a couple more lined bras, including a sports bra. We stopped to eat at my favorite Italian restaurant on the way home, where I got a lesson in eating like a girl, in small bites, instead of like a guy. We then took Scott home and I met his mom. He ran upstairs as we chatted and came back down as a beautiful girl. She had me beat all to hell. She said, "when I'm dressed, my name is Sonia. What do you think"? I said, you're beautiful, and you just do this for fun! I am a girl on the inside and I can't even come close". She said, "not yet, but after camp, you'll see". I said, "camp? What are you talking about"? She got embarrassed and said, "I guess your parents are saving it as a surprise. You're going to love it". I tried to be polite and didn't demand more details. When we got back to the car, I turned to my mom and said, "are you keeping more secrets from me? Don't you think I've been through enough? What is this 'camp'"? She said, "you are going to have to wait till your father gets home and we will tell you together. Till then, you have to trust us". I was really tired of not knowing what was going on. I barely said goodbye to Tammy when we dropped her off and I- sulked all of the way home. I stormed up the stairs to my room and slammed the door.

To be continued

  

  

  

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