Authors note: This is a work of FICTION, not fact. Some purists out there seem to feel it's their duty to purge the ranks of work they deem unacceptable. Do not assume what is written is supposed to be factual; they may not be writing within the same realm in which you read it.

 

Design Flaw

by Rachelle Walker

  

Craig sat at his computer frustrated about his life. The best thing he could say about himself was that he was living a lie. He didn't like who he had become, what he looked like, or even the future outlook of the years to come. He knew that he was someone else and this person was trapped deep within. The stress of trying to cope with his inner torment was causing stomach pains and restless nights.

As a way of relieving himself of this stress, he recently began exercising more to lose the extra weight he had put on over the past several years. Topping out at 186 lbs., he began to look more and more like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Within just one month though, Craig had managed to shed 12 pounds and he didn't look like he had food constantly shoved in his mouth.

As a father of three, he bore the stress of providing for the family and maintaining the strong discipline in the house. His wife of nearly 20 years worked, but made only half of what he brought home. 55-60 hour workweeks added to his stress, but after nearly 8 years on the job, he had grown to tolerate it. As his children grew, work forced him to miss some school functions, ball games, and awards ceremonies.

Besides work, Craig was an aspiring author. When he found the time to write, usually late evening/early morning hours, his children were asleep and his wife was at work. He even stole time during his workday to edit and re-write portions of his manuscript. After nearly 4 ½ years of toil, he submitted his work to a publisher in hopes that his book would get published. He was counting on the book's earnings to provide enough income to reduce the financial strain and therefore lower his anxiety. He could hardly believe it when the first publisher he submitted his book to offered to publish it. It took another 5 months of negotiations, editing, and proofing of the cover before the book when to print. But finally, in August 2007, his book went up for sale. Unfortunately, that's all it did.

He didn't read the fine print of the contract he signed. As a new and unknown author, the publisher was not going to expend resources for advertising or otherwise announce his work to the world. If the book were to get any attention, he would have to pay for copies to be sent to reviewers, set up his own book signings, and if the sales of the book were unacceptable to the publisher, they could cancel the printing of the book while still holding the rights to it for up to seven years. With too many hours tied up in work, there was no way he could properly promote his book. Almost 5 years of work was now screwing the pooch and he could do little to change it.

This is what his life had become. Craig stared at the computer screen. The emails didn't look promising for leads. The customers that replied back only wanted figures and if they liked what they saw, they would contact him back.

"Stupid people." He said to himself. "They stand behind the veil of the Internet because they don't like salespeople and they want all the information before coming in. They believe everything they read and think their trades are worth their weight in gold, even if it's a piece of sh**!"

Craig knew what he was talking about. As a multi-year veteran of retail sales, the worst thing to ever happen to commissioned sales was the Internet. He loathed the so-called experts who told the general public how to buy, sell, and trade. "Lie about having a trade to get the best price and then bring the trade back to the table after they give you a best price." One publication wrote. Too many people took the trade value guides as gospel truth, not taking into account that if the dealer reduced his price, trade values also comes down. But he was in a "Win the battle, lose the War" fight.

He grabbed his side and rubbed the dull pain until it subsided. He then turned and dropped a couple of antacid pills into his mouth and chewed them briefly before swallowing. He then grabbed two Tylenol and downed them as well.

If the truth were told, Craig knew exactly what he had to do. He just didn't have the nerve to do it. If happiness was what he sought, there was but one road to take.

The event that took Craig from having a normal life to the one that put him on his current path occurred when he was only 8 years old. There were no warning signs, no flashing red or yellow ones either, nothing telling him to avoid the path. Up until that time he was as normal and ornery as any other child his age.

It came in the form of a dream. Unannounced, it played before him in his sleep, showing him things he had never thought of before. The images were soothing and pleasant. They never hinted to him that they could bring such pain. And so finally, there it was. It was the image that would change him and his life forever.

He found himself in a bathroom in his house, standing in front of the mirror gazing at the reflection looking back. Even though a dream, when the image came into focus, it was crystal clear. The reflection was of a young girl in a blue floral dress. Her short hair neatly washed and combed. She stood in a most feminine way as if aware that she was being looked at. With her arms crossed at the wrists, her hands were clasped in front and she smiled slightly as Craig viewed her. He smiled back and seemed to recognize something familiar about her. But it was several seconds before he realized that he was actually looking at himself.

The smile left her face as her hands unclasped and began to explore her image. She turned slightly to get a better profile view. She noticed how the dress floated with her movement so she turned back the other direction more quickly than before to heighten the movement. Facing forward again, she grabbed the sides of the skirting and pulled it out from her to see how pretty the dress looked on her. She let go of the dress and spoke directly to Craig.

"Wake up and find me."

Craig was the second of six children. He had one older brother, two younger brothers and two younger sisters. The older of his two sisters was only about 14 months younger than him and because the two were so close in age and had the same eye and hair color, the family often referred to them as the "bobsey twins."

His family was Catholic as far back as anyone could remember. Both parents were brought up through Catholic schools and both were extremely intelligent. From the very beginning, his parents brought the children up in the faith, teaching the difference between right and wrong and the penalties that lay within. This faith and belief in a higher power would both bless and haunt him in his adult life.

His mother was ultra-strict, choosing to use the rod and never spare the child. Other times it was a belt, a ruler, a book, or whatever else she could get her hands on. With her fiery temper and near spoiled brat attitude, the children actually lived in fear of upsetting her. But Craig loved her.

When Craig awoke from his dream, he didn't know how to deal with it. He knew enough to know that the person he saw in his dream was really him as a girl, but he didn't know how. He also recognized the dress as one that belonged to his sister who was closest in age to him. The dream so mesmerized him that for hours after waking up, it was the only thing he could think of. Finally, he had enough. He went searching for the dress.

He waited until his sister was playing outside to search her closet for the dress. Once he sure that she wouldn't be returning immediately, he began to rummage through her clothes. It took a couple of minutes, but locating the dress, he removed it from the hanger and held it in his hands. He rubbed the material with his fingers and was surprised by the smooth feel. He looked at the dress and swore he could hear it calling to him. He then slowly opened his sister's door to see if anyone was near.

Cautiously taking steps out into the hallway, Craig slowly walked into the main part of the house. Not seeing anyone in his family, he quickly scampered to the nearest bathroom and shut the door, locking it so no one could see what he was about to do.

He held the dress up and let it unfurl so the full length was exposed. He then looked it over and noticed the pattern on it; it's pleats and creases, and the string that when tied in the back cinched the sides. He then turned to face the mirror and held the dress up to himself and looked to see if he could re-animate the dream he had that morning. Once again, he thought he heard the dress call to him.

He carefully laid the dress on the basin and began to remove his own clothing. Soon, everything but his own briefs were lying on the floor. He again picked up the silky dress and slowly undid its zipper. Carefully, he slipped first one arm, then the other into it and pulled it down over his head. Finally, he pulled on the skirting and lowered the dress into its final position. Although somewhat troublesome, Craig managed to zip the dress up and then pulled to two strings attached to the sides and tied them behind him. He then grabbed a brush on the sink and ran it through his hair. Putting the brush down, Craig folded his arms in the same manner he saw in his dream and looked up.

The young girl of his dream was now standing in front of him. If no one knew who he was, they surely would have mistaken him for a girl. He twisted the dress as he had seen in the dream and it floated gently in response. So exciting was this to him, he hardly noticed he was sporting a rock hard erection. Once he did, it ruined the effect, but the damage was done. Craig was hooked for life.

For years after 'The Dream', Craig would sneak his sister's clothes into his bathroom and play dress up. When his sister started puberty, she out grew him by several inches, but he separated the clothes that she could not longer wear and kept them for himself. This was the ultimate for a young pre-teen, as he knew these clothes would not be missed.

As time passed, even he began to stretch. At the age of 14, his breasts began to swell as some boys do and he could feel the presence of the growing breast tissue beneath his nipples. He also began to get close in size to his mother who was only 5' 2". She had some lovely dresses and jumpsuits and Craig waited for the opportunity to explore her wardrobe.

The full onset of puberty did not find Craig until he was almost 18 years old. This allowed him a few extra years of cross-dressing and trying to create the illusion of being female. One day during his senior year in high school, he faked being sick just so he could stay home alone and be femme all day. He went into his mother's room and picked out the sexiest dress his mother had. He then went through her dresser and picked out panties, a bra, and some nylons. Finally, he went through her shoes and found a pair of black strap-on sandals with a 3" heel he could wear.

Not wanting to miss the full effect, he shaved his legs below his knees. Since he didn't have much hair higher than that, it was all he needed. He then proceeded to get dressed, first the panties and bra, then the nylons, and finally the dress. He then walked into his mother's bathroom and sat at the vanity were she had all of her make-up.

Using the limited knowledge he had, he applied make-up to his cheeks, lips, and eyes. As he was doing this, he noticed a pair of clip-on earrings he had seen his mother wear with the dress he had on. Again, it was too much. He installed one on each ear. When he was finished, he strapped the shoes to his feet and inspected the finished product. Although unrefined, he looked very much like a young lady.

He spent the next several hours dressed as his female persona, walking from room to room just to get used to the feel and he enjoyed every minute of it. The sound of the heels clicking on the tile floor made his heart leap. He didn't want this to end.

By early afternoon, he knew he must return to his former self and carefully returned the items to their previous positions, with exception of the panties, which were soaked with his pre-cum. When he was sure everything was in place, he showered and waited for his brothers and sisters to return home.

Craig opened Internet Explorer just to see what the latest news headlines were. He sank further into his depression reading about oil at $100 barrel, Toyota becoming the world's largest car manufacturer, and slowly economic growth.

"Boy, the press really knows how to paint the blackest picture." He again spoke to himself.

He closed the window and opened the portal to his dealerships inventory. As he updated incoming and sold inventory, his thoughts drifted once more.

He remembered the first time he ever had an orgasm. It was quite by accident and frankly scared him until he realized what had happened. He had captured a one-piece bathing suit that had been marked for Goodwill by his mother. Maroon in color, it was the perfect fit for him. He disrobed and slid the suit up to his groin, carefully tucking his penis between his legs and his testis into his body. Once complete, he put his arms through the straps and adjusted the suit for a proper fit.

He looked at his crotch and the way it looked female. Oh how he wished it would change! He then remembered a film he saw on HBO where the woman rode atop the man during sex. He climbed on to the counter in the bathroom and sat down, pinning his penis between the counter and himself.

He began to slowly rock back and forth as he had seen her do. His penis swelled rapidly with the onset of his fantasy. Now engorged, the head of his penis slipped easily between his butt cheeks and the cotton lining of the suit. The rocking motion and firmness of his penis further pushed his member beneath him and as he looked down, the suit had settled into what looked more and more like a vagina.

It didn't take long; maybe 4-5 minutes before the eruption took place. The rush of ecstasy sent shivers up and down his body and he froze in fear, as he was unfamiliar with the sensations. With his full weight on it, his penis began to pulsate violently. It was such a powerful orgasm that it actually made him rise and fall slightly with each pulse.

As the sensation lessened, he took a deep breath when he realized he had stopped breathing during the event. It was several more seconds before he was able to do anything but sit there. Not sure of what had happened, he slowly came off of the counter and immediately felt the warm, sticky goo now covering his rear, butt crack, and the suit. He carefully removed the suit and noticed the puddle still there in the lining. It took him just a moment more to finally realize what had happened. A smile came across his face. Forever more he would remember his first orgasm dressed as and pretending to be a woman.

The smile on Craig's face was quickly replaced with a more professional one as one of his co-workers entered his office. Simply looking for an inventory list, Craig quickly spooled one to the printer and chitchatted as it printed. He handed off the list to his co-worker and returned to the work in front of him.

Craig met his wife when he was in college. It had become harder and harder for him to maintain the illusion but still cross-dressed when he could find clothes that fit. He now stood 5'9" and weighed only about 155 lbs. He had become quite active with sports and was rather muscular. Still looking younger than he actually was, he had a cuteness about him that many young women found adorable.

It was a Friday night and Craig and a few friends decided to go "cruising" in a small town just north of Tulsa, OK. When they got there, they were disappointed by the lack of activity, as it appeared the local police had effectively shut down the strip. Still, there were some people out so Craig decided to stay even after his friends left.

At around 10:15 PM, his stomach growled and he decided to grab a burger at the local McD's. He went inside and was the only customer. Walking to the counter, a young lady, about 20 greeted him. She was the closing Manager and Craig was immediately taken by her. While waiting for his food, he struck up a conversion with her. There was something about her that made his heart leap. Even after he had gotten his food, he stood and talked with her for another few minutes. As he left, he said to himself,

"Wouldn't it be funny if I could tell my children I met their mother while I was cruising and she was working at McDonald's?"

Laugh, go ahead, but it really happened that way.

He met up with her two weeks later when he just stopped in and she was there to pick up her check. It was then he got her phone number and he called her that night. They went out on a date two weeks later and never dated anyone else after that. After two months, he asked her to marry him and 8 months later they were married.

Craig found that he could buy stuff he had never bought before and get away with it. Being married, he told the clerks it was for his wife and made the purchases. Looking back, he realized the clerks probably knew better, but he didn't care. He began to create his own private stash once again.

His job allowed him to stay overnights in towns where no one knew him. Several times he bought and brought clothes with him to sleep in femme. He bought his own shoes and dresses, skirts and blouses, even pierced earrings which he punched the holes himself and blamed the wounds on acne.

Now in his early twenties, his body was unmistakable male and all the baggage that comes with it. His fascination with being a female was still overbearing at times. One day, he was scheduled to travel to southern Oklahoma to do some fieldwork. It was a single day job, with him returning just past suppertime. He had joked with his wife about letting him shave her legs and she threatened to shave his. Today, he decided to do it himself.

Carefully applying the lather, he slowly and methodically stripped every hair off of his legs and rear. Even his feet were not spared. This was only the second time in his life he had shaved them and the feeling of the smooth skin almost made him cum.

Once out of the shower, he put on a new pair of panties and a fresh pair of tan pantyhose. He would wear them the entire day under his pants. His excited mental state caused his member to become excited as well. It took some doing, but he managed to calm himself enough to be able to finish getting dressed and head out the door.

It was during the lunch hour that Craig entered the local Wal-Mart in the town he was working at. He went in to inspect the grocery section of the store when he passed by the women's clothing and saw a rack filled with jean skirts. He stopped and looked. He knew then he just had to have one.

He did his job in the grocery dept. and then made his way back to the clothing rack. He found a skirt to his liking and size and pulled it off of the rack. He paid for it and went to his car. He drove off of the lot and a few miles down the road he pulled of into an abandoned parking lot. While watching for someone to approach him, he removed his pants and carefully slid the skirt under his behind. Wrestling with the clasp, he managed to secure the skirt and zip up the back. He sat back in the seat and took measure of what he saw.

Still clad in the hosiery, his legs rivaled that of his wife's. The sun shining in the window highlighted the tan color. For safety reasons, he slipped his shoes back on and started the 3-½ hour drive home.

He managed to make it all the way back to town wearing his skirt, hose, and panties, but knew his wife would never understand. Again, he pulled into an abandoned parking lot and changed. It's then he realized he never brought a pair of his regular briefs with him. Panic set in. How could he explain the panties?

With nowhere else to go, he drove home where his wife greeted him with a warm kiss. She saved dinner for him and encouraged him to eat while the food was still warm. He sat down and nervously began to eat as she watched him from across the table.

"How'd your day go?" She asked still watching.

"Ok, you know, the usual."

"Really? So, tell me. I have a strange question for you. Where'd all the hair in the tub come from?"

GULP!

"Huh?"

"Is that your hair?"

A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face.

"What did you shave?"

Craig just sat there looking at her without anything to say. She was the first to speak.

"You shaved your legs, didn't you?" He said nothing. "Why?" She asked.

"I don't know. I guess because we joked around about it, I wanted to see what it was like, that's all."

Her reaction told him she didn't completely by the story.

"That's a pretty stupid reason if you ask me."

Craig took another bite of his dinner and then wiped the sweat from his face.

"I guess if I knew it was going to upset you that much, I wouldn't have done it." He lied to her. The truth was, he couldn't wait for the opportunity. "Sorry."

It was a cold night in Tulsa and his bedroom was no different. His wife kept her distance and let him know there would be no "nooky" until he had enough hair back on his legs that made him appear normal. He did manage to remove the panties he had on and hid them until his wife went to work the next day. He also had to hide all of his things to prevent further damage to his marriage and set things right. While he has trimmed the hair on his legs several times, this was the last time he ever completely shaved them.

Craig stretched to remove the stiffness invading his bones as he sat in front of his computer. He looked down at his hands and at his fingernails that had overgrown because he had stopped cutting them. One of his daughters had made a comment about them, but Craig knew that it what just a matter of time before his nerves caused him to nibble on them, trimming them back.

He turned his attention back to the computer and his inventory. After checking for errors, he sent the command to update the website. Once he stroked the keys, it was several seconds later before the confirmation was received. He closed the site.

The next several years of Craig's life was like a game of hide and seek. His wife suspected that there was more going on than just him shaving his legs and she actively searched everything of his to see if she could find the smoking gun. For his part, Craig was smart enough not to leave anything at home where she could find and if he did dress up, it was when she would be closing and he would bring his stuff home.

In the meantime, the couple brought two beautiful daughters into the world. Separated by just over two years, the small apartment they lived in was a constant hive of activity by these young girls. The only time it was quiet is when the girls slept.

He continued to dress when he could and even comforted the girls if they woke up at night wearing lingerie. He now had a mullet and made futile attempts to style his hair. Even though the back was long enough, the short hair on the sides of his head defeated the look.

Inevitably, his wife found some of his clothing that didn't make it back into his stash. He had dressed up the night before and thought that everything made it back into his bag, but a bodysuit evidently fell out and he didn't see it. She spotted the garment while making the bed the next morning, partially covered by the comforter. Knowing it was not hers, she now knew she had her ammunition. She waited until the children were asleep before she confronted him, but he knew well ahead of time that she was not happy.

"I found your little play thing!" She said angrily.

"What are you talking about?" Craig said trying to play dumb.

"The bodysuit! And don't dare tell me you don't know what I mean!"

He didn't know what to say.

"Did you think that I wouldn't find out? Did you think that you could play your games and it not affect me? What am I to think? Do you know how this makes me feel? Am I not enough of a woman for you that you have to pretend to be one yourself?"

Craig felt flushed. He now realized that she had suspected him for some time but just didn't have the proof. Now it was out in the open. He was relieved, embarrassed, and ashamed all at the same time.

"I can't explain myself to you." He sputtered.

"Well, I suggest you try! I didn't marry a woman!" She added.

"I know you didn't."

"What then, are you gay?" She questioned him.

"No, I'm not gay."

"Really?"

"I'm not. I like women, not men. It's just sometimes I get to wondering what it would be like to be one and it goes from there."

She just shook her head.

"This ends tonight." She said with fire in her eyes. "I don't know where and if you have any other playthings hanging around, but they are gone. Do you understand?" She was not holding back. "You have hurt me. Sorry won't make things better, only time. This is the LAST time we are going to have this conversation!"

But it wasn't. Craig did throw away all that he had accumulated up to that point, but time and again the urge to dress and feel feminine overwhelmed him and he would begin again. Every so often, she would find an item or two, something out of place, or just suspect he was engaged in his activities. Each time she would confront him; each time he backed down and discarded his clothes.

Craig got up from his chair and walked into the showroom. With the exception of the vehicles parked inside, it was empty. He slowly walked to the front windows and peered outside and could see the other salespeople either talking to a customer or with each other. He then walked through the front doors allowing the sun to hit him in the face and he could feel the cool wind gently blow by.

He walked down the steps onto the lot and slowly through the vehicles parked around him. He looked at the different vehicles and went through the features and benefits in his mind to practice for his next sales presentation. He stopped at the end of the row and looked around. Vehicle after vehicle was neatly aligned and polished. Only the late winter/early spring pollen dulled their finishes. The buzzing of the PDA on his hip broke his gaze and he pulled the unit from its case. Tapping the screen, he could see he had received an email from another customer and he returned to his office to read it.

He opened the email and scanned it. It was just like the last few he had received. The customer wanted to wait, do some more shopping, felt their price was too high, yada, yada, yada. He growled to himself and the pains returned to his side. He rested his head in his hands and let his mind drift again.

He recalled the time, just a couple of years ago, when he became the Internet guru at the dealership. He now had unrestricted access to the Internet during the day. His feelings and urges never subsided and one day he began a search for people like him. He knew that a lot of people had similar issues but he had never expected what he found.

Reading through the mountain of information on the web, he found out he had Gender Dysphoria. He had only thought that he was a crossdresser, but when he realized that he had not only wanted to dress like a woman, but also be a woman from a young age, it finally made sense to him. The only "cure" was therapy. He read that if unchecked, he would continue to become increasing depressed by his inability to make the change a reality.

He also then stumbled upon the different websites for first crossdressers and then the transgendered. What he saw on these sites simply amazed him. He saw how men had chosen to pursue and now looked like women, real women. He was introduced to the "shemale" for the first time. Site after site, photo after photo his obsession grew. A new fire now burned deep within him. He didn't just want to look like a woman; he wanted to be one.

He played around with virtual reality makeovers, talking with shemales in chat rooms, and reading fiction stories from the varied different sites. All of these promoted the idea of finding a way to change into a woman.

But the reality was it wasn't going to happen. As a man of faith, the faith his parents raised him on, these things were taught to be contrary to proper living. He had not strayed in the flesh, but his mind was way over the edge. This too was taught to be a sin. He had enough things happen in his life to conclude that the Lord was real, but too many times he wondered where he was when he felt the burden of his secret crushing him. He prayed over and over to either have the feelings removed from his mind or change him totally into a woman. Many other prayers were answered, but never this one, at least not yet.

"You OK?" The General Manager asked. Craig snapped back up and looked over in his direction.

"Yeah. I'm just a little tired. Can't seem to get anything moving on the web. Most of the leads are pretty screwy right now." He replied.

"What's going on? I mean, are they bogus credit or not contacting you back or what?"

"No, it's more of they want the 'best price' and then when you give it to them, they still think it's too high! This last jerk didn't even drive the car, doesn't even know what equipment it has, and he still thinks it's too high."

"Well, is it?" The GM asked.

"No, at least not according to NADA and KBB. We're even under book. All they're trying to do is get a low price to continue shopping. I've seen it before. You drop your price further to get them in here and all they do it pick the vehicle apart and ask for more discounts. I could sell it for a $1 and they'd still want me to cut it." Craig replied discouraged.

"You've been around long enough, it'll turn around. Chin up!" The GM said and smiled, and the turned to leave.

 

Craig turned back to his computer and opened Internet Explorer. When the home page opened up, he clicked over to the "images" tab and then he typed in "shemale" into the search bar. Within seconds, thousands of hits were found and he began to scroll thru them. He was looking for a very specific one. It took a couple of minutes, but he found what he was looking for.

To him, she was very attractive. Slender and young, she had long brown hair that gently caressed her back. Her breasts were firm and obviously 'store bought', but didn't look outrageously huge on her. Her face was very feminine and he supposed she had facial feminization surgery as well. With the exception of her penis, she was a goddess. All of the curves in all of the right places made Craig jealous of her.

He stared at the pictures of her for a few minutes and made a mental image in his mind. He knew that he dare not spend more than a few moments looking as he was often disturbed by employees, customers, or management. Securing the image in his minds eye, he closed the page.

Glancing down at the time on the computer, he noticed there was only about 30 minutes before the end of the business day. Keeping his thoughts to himself, he shut down his computer and walked into the showroom. Walking to the windows, he could see the other salespeople huddled together chatting, as they too had nothing to do. Craig knew that everyone at the dealership was going to have short checks this week.

He continued to stare out the windows and his thoughts drifted again to the shemale he had admired. His mind inspected every curve and every detail. He imagined the way she would walk and move. Gently swaying her hips, taking small deliberate steps, turning to gaze at him invitingly over her shoulder. She seemed to call to him, begging him to come near. As he thought about her, he began to become aroused.

When he realized what was happening, he snapped out of his daydream and fought to focus on the present. He did his best to hide the bulge in his pants so as not to draw fire and ridicule from the other employees. But he was so hard; it was impossible for him to hide it without looking awkward.

He turned quickly, briskly walked back to his office, and sat down in his chair. He grabbed his jacket and slung it over his lap to disguise what was really happening. Craig then pulled a product information manual and began reading it to take his mind off of her.

Hours later Craig lay in his bed alone. His wife had gone to work and his kids were in bed asleep, but his mind was way too active to rest. Even if he had nodded off, the sleep he got would be fitful at best. He just lay there and stared at the slowly spinning ceiling fan. Hour upon hour drifted slowly by, only interrupted occasionally by an odd noise in the house, car lights down the street, and even their cat begging to be let outside.

It was around 2 AM when Craig noticed a strange light begin to shine in his kitchen. At first he thought he was just imagining it, but it kept getting brighter and brighter and finally began to approach his room. He sat up in bed and quickly began to take measure of what was happening. His heart pounded the walls of his chest.

The light crossed the threshold of his doorway and illuminated the bedroom. So bright and so encompassing was this light that it cast no shadows whatsoever. Craig shielded his eyes from the light, but still stared at it to glimpse what it was. He swallowed hard when it stopped at the foot of his bed.

"Rise and follow me." A voice said. Craig was too scared to move.

"Don't be afraid. No harm will come to you." The voice spoke again.

Craig slowly peeled back the covers and stepped out of bed. He grabbed his bathrobe and wrapped it around him still intensely watching the light.

"Take my hand and come with me." The voice again instructed.

A human hand emerged from the light and was held out for Craig to grasp. Still cautious, he took the short steps towards the light and then placed his right hand into the outstretched one in front of him. Instantly he was pulled inside the light. At the same time he was pulled inside, the light fled the room.

Craig found himself standing in a white room with no ceiling and no walls. He turned around several times and looked to see what else was around, but there was only him. He looked into the distance for signs of anyone or anything.

"HELLO!" He shouted. There wasn't even an echo.

He looked down at the surface he was standing on and bent down to get a closer look. It seemed to flow like a liquid beneath him but was solid as stone. He put his hands on it and could feel a slight vibration as the surface moved, but it was oddly warm and soft to the touch. As he stood back up, the slight differences in color that were apparent up close faded to an all white blend of the rest of the room.

"Welcome." A voice from behind him said. He whirled around to see who was there.

Standing in front of him was a woman. She had long brown hair, brown eyes and near perfect features. She was dressed in a white robe, but even clothed as she was her figure was exquisite. She bountiful breasts slowly rose and fell as she breathed in and out.

"Who are you?" Craig finally asked. "Where am I? Am I dead?"

"You are certainly not dead." She answered. "And you are in what you may call a holding area."

"A holding area? Holding for what?"

"You'll see. Come with me." She reached out her hand and smiled.

Craig was about to when his love and concern for his children ran through his mind.

"I don't know about this. No one is at home and my kids are alone. I think I should get back."

"Your children are under the protection of the highest order. You don't need to fear for them. Just like you, no harm will come to them. Come." She finished and again encouraged him. He took her hand.

Instantly, they stood in another room. Unlike the holding area, this room had dimensions he could measure. But it was a strange room. Pictured against every wall were human features. Eyes, ears, teeth, hair, legs, you name it, and it was there. These features were separated by sex, race, and age. Every imaginable human feature in every imaginable color and design was somewhere in this room.

"We're in the Body Shop. In here, every person who has ever walked the earth was designed and perfected before being born. Only the human condition alters one's final disposition and function."

"Why am I here?" Craig asked her.

"Before I answer that, let me show you something." She said and walked towards a screen at the far end of the room.

As they approached the screen, Craig saw what looked like an examination table enclosed within a glass tube. It was directly behind and slightly to the left of the screen in front of him. When they stopped, a console emerged from the wall and when fully engaged, lit up with numbers, letters, and symbols. Many of the symbols were unrecognizable and even appeared to change as he watched them.

"We're standing at the design center. It's here that every idea of human form is assembled, tested, and put into, for lack of a better word, production. Using these controls before us, we can choose from any one of the many human features in this room and create a human life. We can even slightly modify existing features to create a new unique feature. If that feature is successful, we can integrate it into the next series of human creation."

"You're talking about evolution." Craig said.

"Yes, and no. That's what you call it. Think of it rather as required upgrades to change with the world below." The woman told him and then continued. "For example, the ability to love was not part of the original design, but given what happened with man in the garden, it was necessary to make sure you continued to thrive. So also was the ability to learn how to heal the human body using the medicines made from the world around you. This also was not given to man in the beginning, but became necessary when the faults that corrupted the body became a terrible burden. Mankind is unique in the universe with the ability to grow in understanding and to pass that along to future generations. But as we continue to improve your lives, the one who is jealous of you finds more inventive ways of destroying you."

"So why am I here? I don't understand."

"There is a great sadness about you, a loneliness that permeates your whole body and soul. This is not how you were created." She waved her hand over the control board and an image appeared on the screen. "This is your original design. From birth until death, this is template for life." Craig stared at the screen and watched the images change.

"Now, let me show you your actual path." Again she waved her hand over the board. Slowly but surely, minor changes in the details became apparent until they arrived at the current time.

"If we extrapolate further to determine your life's course from here, this is what we find."

Again, the screen changed and quickly halted. He image had not changed much from what he looked like now.

"I don't look much different. What's the problem?" He asked her.

"The reason you don't age much is because you are dead. If a change is not made with what is creating your sadness, it will kill you, soon."

Craig bowed up defensively. "I'll never kill myself!"

"You're right," She said "But your depression will cause your body to shut down."

Craig looked up at the screen and into the projected look of when he is supposed to be at Death's door. He could see the sadness she was talking about. It was a look he was all too familiar with. He closed his eyes and thought about the scenarios he had played through his mind again and again about who he wanted to be, the person he was, and the obligations he had. He just shook his head.

"I have no way out. I can't be the person I want to be without hurting too many other people. If I choose to follow my heart, my children and family won't understand. I feel that if I follow my heart, I'm breaking God's law and his design for my life! I just have to bear it out and make sure no one else gets hurt."

"Breaking God's law and his design for your life? Exactly what is that?"

"To love one another, serve others, be the best person I can."

"And do you think that by being depressed all of the time upholds that law?" She asked. "You talk about his design on your life, well look at the differences between what was intended and where you are going. Your depression is going against that design."

"I know." Craig admitted. "But I don't have any outs."

"God's law is simple. Love one another. Take care of one another. Forgive and be forgiven. Look to him as the source of all things and worry about nothing. He is quick to forgive and slow to anger. He wants you to be happy."

"Then why has he allowed this to happen to me?" Craig shouted. "Why do I have to feel like the outcast or the only person alive even when I am standing in the middle of a crowded room? No one understands me! No one! I feel my whole life is a lie. A juxtaposition of body versus mind! Nothing is aligned in my life and can't do anything about it!"

The woman shook her head. "Didn't you just hear what I said? Or are you going to continue to wail?"

"What?"

"I said God wants you to be happy."

"How can he help me with that? Is he going to take my dreams and memories from me so I don't think about being a woman?"

"What if he gave you an opportunity to be one?"

"What?!" Craig sputtered. He looked closely at the woman not believing what he just heard. "That can't be. It's never been done before."

"Neither was this world and mankind before he did it. But here you are and the world is still there."

"But no one I know would accept or understand. My kids, my wife, my family, they all would consider me some sort of freak!"

"Not if they didn't know." She said and smiled. Craig looked curiously at her.

"That sort of change is not something easily hidden." He said.

"Before I show you what he has in mind, I want you to help me here on the controls."

"Why?"

"I want you to help me create the woman you believe you are inside and I want you to look at her. I believe that if you are to extend your life, you need to face who you are." She finished and looked stoically at him.

Craig said nothing, but simply looked down, and then at the controls. He turned and looked around the room at the many different examples of body parts displayed on the walls. He began a slow walk from one end of the room to the other, carefully exploring the options in front of him. When he had finished his lap, he looked at the woman.

"What do I do?"

Over the next several hours, Craig and the woman designed and re-designed the woman he felt he was. He played around with large breasts and butts, big lips and wispy waistlines. But ultimately, these were too extreme for him. Instead, he settled for a more mainstream woman about 5'6", 130 lbs. She measured 38C-26-38. While her lips were full, they weren't outrageous. Her buttock was well rounded and toned and her breasts were perky, but natural. Her hair was light brown and cascaded about a third of the way down her back. Her hazel eyes and slightly tan skin helped give a familiarity about her he could relate to. The woman he was with added touches such as mannerisms and voice. When complete, the woman played like a virtual reality program on the screen in front of him.

As Craig watched, the woman with him waved her hand over the controls and the large glass tube containing the exam table filled with a mist. As it did, the images that were located throughout the room shifted and the ones that Craig had chosen blinked and appeared on the wall in front of them next to the screen. The woman again lowered her hand and the images disappeared with a rushing noise.

"Now watch there." The woman said to Craig pointing to the glass enclosure.

The mist that had rushed into the tube completely obscured the table inside. Slowly the mist began to clear and a figure could be seen lying on the table. The figure was non-descript, but as the mist cleared, more features seemed to install themselves on it. Continuing to watch, Craig saw the woman he created form within the glass tube. Only when the last of the mist cleared, was the process finished.

"We created her?" Craig asked.

"Yes, but right now it is only a body. There is no soul, no spirit attached to it. It does not have a beginning or an end. Once testing is complete on a template, it's sent to the Father and it's there that it life is breathed into it. This is an empty shell."

"Is she alive?" Craig now curious asked.

"She can be. Or she can be destroyed without her feeling anything."

"What do we do now?" Craig asked looking at the woman lying on the table.

"That's up to you. This is the woman you see that is within you. She is your creation, your responsibility. If you chose to give her life, I can make it happen for you."

"But how does that help me? How do I become happier? I am no closer to becoming that woman." He finished pointing at her.

Without saying anything, the woman again waved her hand over the controls. On the screen appeared Craig's original design. She then touched a symbol on the board and the woman Craig created appeared next to his. As he watched, the woman he was with manipulated the images until they became one. However, when she lowered her hands, only Craig's image remained.

"What did you do? I don't see any difference in me?" Craig said.

"Outwardly, no, you wouldn't and why would you. This is how you appear to everyone you know. When you are with someone you know, they expect to see you and why should that change? But, when you're alone or with someone who doesn't know you, what if this is what you looked like?" She said and immediately the woman Craig created appeared on the screen.

"Is that possible?" Craig said a little confused.

"It is as simple as 're-programming' your design. You have obligations to meet and to strip you of those would not serve you or those around you. But simply letting you die due to your unhappiness serves no one either. If we integrate you with this person on the screen, it allows you to maintain your life with those who know you, but fulfill your innermost dream without causing harm to those you love."

"What's the catch? There's gotta be a catch."

"The catch is you must remain a virgin when you are a woman. While self-exploration is permitted, you cannot engage in any sexual activity with another person as a woman while you are still married and/or your wife is alive."

"I think I can live with that, but it would be nice to experience that at least once. I mean…" Craig said almost embarrassed, "I'm sure women have the same urges that men do and…" He didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"And you want to know what it's like to be made love to like a woman." She finished the sentence for him. After a moment, he shook his head yes. The woman smiled.

"As I told you before, here we assemble and test every human design before sending it to production. This unit here hasn't been tested yet." She said pointing to the woman in the glass tube. "I really can't send it to production without making sure it works properly."

It took Craig a moment to catch on what the woman was hinting at.

"You would allow me to try out… I mean find out what… where? How? When?"

"Now if you want. We'll put you together with her and put you in a testing simulation. You will be in complete control of your new body and be allowed to pursue any activity you desire. If you are satisfied with the results of the test, we'll send you back to your life with the woman you created as part of you."

"And if I don't like it?"

"No harm, no foul. This is testing, not real life. What we do here does not carry over to the world below. You will not be held accountable for anything that does or does not happen. Once you leave here, the clock is running again though."

Craig was quiet as he thought about it, but it didn't take him long to make a decision.

"I'd like to try."

Ramona was sitting at her vanity table brushing her long brown hair. Her robe hung loosely about her having come untied as she brushed. She was wearing a steel-boned corset that when cinched created not only the curvy waist her husband liked, but pushed up and together her bosom.

She put down her brush and picked up her lipstick tube and applied a layer of bright red color to them. She rolled her lips together to make sure the lipstick covered her entire lips and then added lip liner to complete the effect. She then added a little mascara, blush and powder to finish her look.

She stood up and turned from her vanity and walked to her dresser. She opened a drawer and pulled out some garters and black hose and put them on. She then pulled out some long black gloves and carefully slipped one on each arm.

Into each ear she installed a three-hoop dangly earring, silver and black in color. She then applied some perfume to her neck, chest, and wrists, and then for good measure, she sprayed some in the air around her. When she was finished, she needed to re-adjust the panty-thong she was wearing as it had begun to ride slightly higher than she wanted. As if right on cue, she heard the front door open. It was their anniversary as she was his present.

There was no time for further prepping. She sat down on the edge of the bed, crossed her legs, and looked as provocative as possible. Her heart was pounding as she waited for him to come into the room. She nervously checked herself to make sure she looked her best. She sat up straight when she heard the door creak open.

He stepped into the dimly lit room to find his wife sitting on the bed. As beautiful as she was, he had never seen her as beautiful as she looked tonight. He just stopped and stared.

Ramona slowly rose to her feet as her husband looked on with an open mouth. Purposely moving her shoulders and hips in an exaggerated fashion, she walked seductively towards him. He watched as her breasts seemed to want to burst from bindings and as her eyes told him she wanted him badly. She threw her arms around his neck and thrust her breast up towards his face.

"I've waited all day for you." She cooed. "I'm tired of waiting."

She pulled him towards her and kissed him passionately on the lips. He responded by pulling her closer and wrapping one of his arms around her waist. The taste of him sent her passion into overdrive. Finishing her kiss, she stepped back and playfully drew a finger under his chin. When she was about two feet from him, she allowed her robe to fall to the ground revealing her corset, g-string, and hose. She just stood there as he took in her beauty. She could feel herself getting wet and the anticipation was almost too much.

Not wanting to wait any longer, Ramona took her husbands hand and began to slowly lead him towards the bed. Without losing eye contact, she maneuvered him until his back was against the bed and then playfully pushed him onto the mattress. He was her play toy and he knew it, so instead of doing anything, he let her run the show.

Ramona enjoyed this role she was playing and how much it was turning her on. With her husband now on the bed, she began to undo his belt. She rubbed her hand on his bulging manhood through his slacks and he responded with a moan. She continued to rub him for several more seconds until his belt had loosened. She then used both hands to unclasp and unzip his pants. His erection almost seemed to pop right out of his pants, forcing his boxers past his open fly. Ramona then began to help her husband remove his pants.

With his pants on the floor, his boxers were no match for his rock hard erection. A small, yet obvious wet spot had formed at the top of his penis and left Ramona with no doubt he was ready for sex. Teasing him, she gently rubbed his penis through his shorts and then worked several fingers through the front opening and began to fondle him. With her other hand, she began to rub herself, massaging her swollen and excited clitoris.

His hips began to rock back and forth and she knew he wanted it as bad as her. She removed her hand from his crotch and began to slide his boxers past his engorged penis. When she had lowered them enough to expose even his balls, she grabbed the shaft of his penis and slowly worked her hand up and down. She then pulled her hair to one side and lowered her head towards his throbbing rod.

Holding the penis with her hand, she began to lick the head of the salty pre-cum that had gathered. Once clean, she kissed the head and allowed it to push past her lips. She held just the head in her mouth and let her tongue tickle it. Her husband nearly jumped off of the bed when she did that and his reaction made her giggle. She continued though, allowing more and more of his manhood to enter her mouth. The musty smell of the base of his shaft finally reached her nose as the tip of his rod slid carefree down her throat. The salty pre-cum returned as he was obviously enjoying himself.

After a view minutes of sucking on him, she removed the monster from her mouth and stood up, her hand never letting go of his penis. She squeezed him tightly and pulled up.

"Get in the middle of the bed." Ramona said very sultry.

Her husband complied, scooting towards the middle while she held onto him. When he had finished moving to the middle, she straddled him just below the crotch. She then began to slowly unbutton his shirt starting with the lowest one. When his shirt was finally unbuttoned, she leaned forward allowing her breasts to come into full view of him. She then began to gently kiss his chest as he began to stroke her hair.

His hands moved slowly down her back and around her round bottom. He could feel the string tying the corset dangling from her back. He pulled first one string and then the other, loosening the garments hold on her. He then slid his hands lower to disconnect the garters still attached to her hose. When the back garters were released, he put his hands again on her behind and slid her forward. This motion caused her to straddle his penis. She sat up and saw the head of it poking out from in front of her pussy. It settled into the gap between her lips and the fabric of her thong. He now reached the front two garters and unhooked them as well.

Free of the garters, he reached up and began to massage Ramona's breasts. Ramona had already begun to rock slowly back and forth on his rod and the added frontal assault heightened her juices. He took hold of the zipper on the front of the corset and slowly lowered it. Now completely free, her breasts hung magnificently from her chest.

Ramona leaned back into her husband and again engaged in a passionate kiss. Together, the two of them slowly rubbed each other by grinding. His hands managed to find her breasts and still kissing, he expertly massaged them.

Deep inside Ramona, Craig couldn't believe what he was experiencing. It was so real. It was everything he hoped it was. Now he wanted to go the distance.

Ramona sat back up and took her right hand and grabbed her husband's penis. She then raised herself up slightly and moving her thong to the side, pressed the head of it against the opening of her vagina. When it had found its home, she let go of it with her hand and lowered herself onto it slowly. As the massive beast took her, she could feel it filling her. Inch by fulfilling inch penetrated her. Every moment was like an eternity.

As the last of his penis entered her, she pressed her clit into him just to make sure she was fully engaged. Now coupled, she began to slowly ride up and down on him as he massaged her chest. She glided her gloved hands across his chest and down his abdomen and explored his ripped abs. Every thrust upward by him made his six-pack more visible and beads of sweat began to form and drip down his sides.

Ramona's husband stopped massaging her chest and grabbed hold of her hips. This allowed Ramona to thrash about on top of him. She threw her head back and started to massage her own breasts roughly. This only seemed to excite her husband more.

It was only a few minutes longer before her husband began to bang away at her with a fury. He was thrusting upward and pulling her down with such force she could almost swear the end of his penis was entering her uterus. She could feel him becoming very hard and she knew that he would explode at any moment. She felt her own juices gathering.

He began to moan as his climax neared. As if on cue, Ramona began her own and moaned loudly. He thrust deeply into her and she felt the spasm of his rapture. Squirt after squirt of his thick seed filled her. She screamed as she came and it was so hard that not only were her insides quaking, but every muscle in her body spasmed as well.

He thrust once more into her as he finished cumming and it pushed her even further into climax. It was so powerful she could not sit up anymore as her back muscles had tensed so badly. She threw herself onto her husband's chest and held him as wave after wave of ecstasy ran through her.

Minutes later, the pair lay on the bed resting in each other's arm. They were a mixture of bodies, sweat, and semen. Ramona lay next to her husband and slowly slid one leg over his and pulled him close. As she did, she could feel the slimy stickiness of his semen that had flowed out of her and coated her groin. She smiled because she enjoyed the sensation and knew that this man loved her enough to share himself with her.

The woman at the controls watched as the test continued to run. So far, all of the test data looked good and this design seemed to be working well. She was about to end this test when a man entered the Body Shop.

"Running a test?"

"Yes." She replied and the man walked near and looked at the design.

"A new template I see. One of yours?"

"No, actually it's not. It's one of my previous designs design."

"You brought a human here?" The man questioned her very surprised.

"I had permission. There was a design flaw in my original template and I had to track it down. I've isolated the issue and have come up with a unique solution. I had to try my fix on a real human who had this flaw to see if we could correct the problem."

"I assume you're talking about your male design with the unexpected gender issues. Anyway, how did it turn out?"

"Glorious!" She said smiling.

"How many simulations have you run?"

"This was the first one. I have scheduled the normal 100 test runs before I send this unit to production and correct the error in the original design."

"Are you going to use him for all of the tests? Won't that kind of skew the results?"

"If we are to fix the problem, we need to make sure it is a permanent fix."

The man looked over the test results.

"It looks like he enjoyed himself. Maybe too much."

"I know he designed her with a heightened sexual arousal, but by letting him take his design to the extreme, it let's me perfect her template."

"What are you going to do with him once the tests are complete?" The man asked.

"I promised him that he could change back into her when he was by himself. I know that I still have got to get final permission, but it seemed like a good trade-off for helping me."

"What if you don't get permission?"

"I'm sure that he won't mind coming back and help me test out some of my other designs." She said smiling.

Ramona knelt on the bed with her hands near the pillows and her ass arch slightly in the air. Her husband had recuperated enough and was hard once again. He now knelt behind her and was impaling her doggy-style. She wanted this to last forever.

  

  

  

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